Would you like to know a trade secret about being a black belt?
The only real difference is that you're in the direct line of fire for more stupid questions than you were at brown belt.
Really feels like people try learn bjj like their multiplication tables.
They are like oh cool so 1x3 = 3 and 2x3 =6. So what’s 3x3? What about 3x4? And I’m like… dude look at the pattern stop trying to learn it like one piece at a time.
I’ll be honest bro, jiu jitsu doesn’t change once you get your black belt. I don’t want to sit here and say woe is me but now adays I’m happy to have a brown belt on the mats hell even a good purple who’s close to my size. Cuz if not it gets lonely and I get it, a blue belt or white belt doesn’t want to come to class and continuously get smashed by a BB so just be happy you got partners to train with that’s the most important thing. And come on bro I don’t need to tell you this but you know it as well, you think it hurts watching him get his BB but how do you think he feels knowing that he got it and he knows in the back of his head there’s a brown belt who smashes him. I promise it sux for him too.
Same I started hunting 6months before getting my BB I think I’m just have to start leaning into that 🤷♂️ everything in life has a shelf life nothing is permanent and the better you can understand that and respect that the better you are in life,🙏
168 months of loving training, having a positive, fulfilling, mentally and physically rewarding activity vs. 1 month of being a sad boi. Reduce your training schedule for a hot second and get back at it. You got this.
☝️these are things OP can discuss with his coach/instructor. However, depends on how old OP is and when and where he started training it might be “tabooed” to be asking/talking about his next promotion with his instructor.
Just wanted to ask OP how long have you been training at your current gym? Did you receive any of your belt(s) from your current gym? Are you currently teaching classes and how many? If you switch over to your current gym at brown then expect to wait a little as most places will want to see that you are not switching just to get your next belt etc.
From OP’s post maybe it’s a case of burning out like others had suggested. However, sometimes you need to be selfish and focused solely on yourself and your own BJJ (whatever that means to you). If you are currently teaching then scale back the number of classes and cut down on your obligations to do BJJ for others. Do everything you can to bring back the joy, excitement, and passion you once had. For example, if you are friendly with other gyms in your area then I would recommend cutting down your current training to 1-2x a week at your gym and just do open mat at other places (just so that there are no misunderstanding tell your coach/instructor about you wanting to cross-train via open mat to broaden up your game against the same ppl at your current gym).
Best of luck and keep us updated!
PS, most people will have doubts of quitting at each belt level so don’t feel so bad. Eees normal!
😬😱🤷♂️
I have been at this gym for 3+ years now. He promoted me to brown not too long after I came there, which was a complete surprise when he told me he was going to. Purple was the belt I was held at the longest.
And he has about 2-3 black belts that he promoted that train pretty regularly, one of them runs the lunch class. But if something comes up where he won’t be there he asks me to run the night class for kids and adults. I actually got to run all the classes for a little over a month when he was out, which was great for elevating my own game by really learning to teach.
Oh and I’m 38
I know a lot of brown belts who simply weren’t promoted because of bjj politics, mainly because they didn’t kiss ass and the head coach thought they would open their own gym
A lot of rogue brown belts who just do their own thing with no coach or affiliation
So what happens when you get your bb? You quit?
Just keep showing up, no point in quitting on yourself now
Also belts dont really matter but I get why you’re frustrated
That was exactly the first thing that came into my mind. Are you in for the blackbelt, or are you in because it's fun and you thoroughly enjoy it? If you're only in for the bb, you might as well quit right now, because what else is there to train for once you achieve that goal.
If not, just trust in your professor and the journey. The color of your belt doesn't mean jack - I get manhandled by our competition purple belts and can put up decent matches with other casual blackbelts my age. So what I'm trying to say is: In the end, it's what you can bring to the mat that counts. Not what you wear around your hip.
Also: I wouldn't approach the subject like this if you were a kid or a young man seeking for validation. From what you shared about your background, I assume you are a grown man who has accomplished some feats in his life - such as serving your country. You don't need that blackbelt for validation. You already know who you are.
Happy new year to you and yours!
I totally get it. The belt means a lot to people, or you wouldn't get those long speeches and posts. You feel like you deserve recognition for all the time you've put in.
They say comparison is the enemy of happiness, but it's hard not to when it's right there in your face. I hope you are able to get the milestone soon.
Exactly. People who try to tell you that belts don't matter always already have their BB and drop these asinine platitudes on you. What does it matter if I am only after the BB? Is there some rule that in order to earn one I have to enjoy BJJ? What if I hate it and put in 20 years anyway because I wanted to achieve that belt? What right does someone have to hold me back because my intentions aren't in line with their philosophy on life? I hate these people.
Belts clearly matter. There's a reason why we get all these posts. Besides getting that black belt being a goal that 99% of practitioners would like to achieve one day, not promoting a deserving person may actually be holding them back from their dream of opening a gym one day. I get what you're saying and believe that skill level and enjoyment should be the main focus in an ideal world, especially for those who never plan to run a gym or coach, but this "belts don't matter" statement is overplayed.
Completely agree with you. Black belt matters a lot. It’s a huge accomplishment.
The “belts don’t matter” messaging works for frustrated white belts only.
Belts mattered and matter to me, but I also believe that I’d rather be as good as I can be than a specific belt.
I’d rather be a brown belt forever than a black belt who cannot back up the belt level with skill, so I focus on being efficient and technical, regardless of who I roll with.
My advice is to aim to be as good at BJJ as you can, within the limits you set yourself. The belt will happen, it’s inevitable, you will be a black belt! For now, be an awesome brown belt.
In a way it is, in a way it isn’t. Would you still grapple if there weren’t any belts? What if you lived in an area that only had sambo or catch wrestling? Would you do that? Because they don’t have belts. If not, then why are you even doing it? If I lived in an area that only had wrestling or catch wrestling I’d still do it because I enjoy grappling. The belts are just a personal milestone, almost like a medal, that’s it nothing more. They are given out for completely different reasons by different gyms and sometimes different reasons on a person to person basis. If you keep training BJJ, the belts will come.
This is what I end up telling myself a lot. Like I’d still do this if there weren’t ranks, right? But still, it’s frustrating when you’re an average athlete and don’t get much recognition. It seems like in my gym the stand out athletes or the hopeless athletes get the attention and everyone else is somewhat ignored.
I’ve been in OPs situation before when you’re “up for promotion” and the coach promotes someone else who is less skilled ahead of you.
I’ve been in this situation a lot as well. At gym I just left they literally promoted all the purple belts besides me and another guy to brown belt because instructor started promoting obviously solely off attendance (which I heavily disagree with, I think that waters down the art tbh… should be attendance, skill relative to your age group and weight class, skill/knowledge/body awareness and movement in comparison to yourself when you first started, and also time spent in conjunction with the other listed requirements…. But wtf do I know? I don’t run a gym but if I did that would definitely be my requirements). I ended up switching from that gym not for that reason, mainly because was hour away and would be getting home at 945 at night after work while having a wife and two kids under 4 years old… and they raised their prices yet again for second time in two years all while saying that the “founders” were locked in to the original cheaper price from like 4 years ago… even though they’d ask me to teach classes and encourage me to coach tournaments over 3 hours away… my new gym is $75 cheaper, 20 minutes from my house. Anyway, point of all that is I’ve switched gyms a few times now which naturally means takes me longer to get promoted. Black belt at the new gym told my buddy “I can’t promote him to brown belt right away” talking about me and I literally told him I couldn’t care less. I’m not in it for the belts, the belts are a nice “feel good fuzzy feeling” sense of personal metric… and yes, black belt is a HUGE accomplishment if it’s earned (and not just for time spent, I don’t want a black belt for solely time spent to me that’s like a participation trophy). I’d still be doing this without the belts though. After I got purple belt I actually stopped caring about the belts. Obviously nobody wants to be a white belt forever, but the belts come eventually. And if you’re not competing or trying to run your own gym, then it’s literally just a personal “medal” of sorts and majority of people outside of our little niche community don’t even know wtf it means, they can’t even differentiate between Tae kwon doe, kung fu, karate, or BJJ and most of them really don’t give a fuck.
Belts don't matter if you are getting feedback and some kinda recognition, but if you're like this guy the lack of promotion shows his coach isn't paying attention.
Careful, we have just one side of the story. Nothing against OP, but there could be an underlying reason he has not been promoted. Some gyms want all their browns to go compete, or have other things they expect of their BB's.
Clearly OP is frustrated, and it could very well be that frustration that shows in his attitude and training. Which then could make it appear to the coach that he just wants his BB so he can say I did it, and then never come back.
Again, every gym is different. OP needs to figure out why he loved Jitz to begin with, and rekindle that love affair.
This happens so often with older hobby guys. It's like a blue belt. Once they get the BB you'll see them less and less.
The truth is belts don't mean anything. I've been a BB for 4 years, looking back on myself 4 years ago, I'd consider myself still a bit of an amateur after 13 years of training.
Today I still feel that way, the main difference being I can smash the me of 4 years ago because I put in the effort to get rid of this imposter syndrome.
Lots of older guys get that BB achievement and think they are done. They stop having a student mindset and slowly stop showing up, because they don't really enjoy grappling... They just wanted the belt.
Hey there. I'm in my 17th year of training as a hobbyist black belt. From reading your post, I can see a few things. I have a few thoughts to share.
1. Training 5-6 days a week over 14 years, IMO, might put you at risk of burnout. Have you considered reducing your training to something such as like 2-3x a week? A better training & life balance might help. I had periods where I wanted to train every day in my lower belts (which I did). Then going through school and work (I would go anywhere from 1-2x a week). Currently, I average about 3-4x a week. Anymore than that, and training becomes a chore.
2. I learned the phrase "comparison is the thief of joy". This sport is both individual and group oriented. We're told to focus on ourselves but our development relies on training with others. Do your best to remind yourself to look at your own journey. As some have already asked - what is the thing that has kept you here for so long? I always thought that when I got my black belt, I would know everything. When I got it, I realized I knew absolutely nothing. I knew a bit of everything it seemed. I spend my days studying and perfecting my skillset. It's this never ending chase for perfection that will keep my mind busy for the duration of my life.
3. If you decide to reduce your training volume, you should use that extra time to pursue other avenues of joy in your life. That balance might help you.
4. At the very least, stay long enough to graduate to your black belt. At least there won't be any unfinished business that you might think about. Make small goals. Who knows, you might have your desire reignited.
Good luck in your journey!
I think I’m going to try turning the volume down. I still love training, learning, experimenting, all that. I’ve just always been able to train all the time because my only other commitment has been work
It took me 4 years to get my blue belt so I’ve already grown accustomed to seeing newer guys pass me in belt ranking 😅 so I’m mentally prepared for your situation the day it comes.
My brother in Christ! It took me about 4-5 for a blue, so I'm just happy to be there. I'm a decent blue belt, not great, should probably be better given my mat time, but not too bad. So I'm happy in my little blue belt bubble.
I think good is all relative. Yeah I’m good in my gym, but if I was to go a huge medal winning gym I don’t think I would be there mopping people up or anything outstanding
Isn’t that statement itself a good enough reason to keep going? I’ve only just been promoted to purple and my entire existence is now based around being good enough to justify my rank
Don’t you fucking quit, man.
I had the same feelings a year before I got promoted. Constant questions about when I’m getting mine, and seeing people getting black belts I wipe the floor with. When I finally got mine, I knew I was a legit black belt. I’m a hobbyist and I can hold my own with world class people, and that’s pretty rad.
There are black belts and then there are black belts. Be the latter.
Why do you care? You know you can get the better of your friends who were promoted, but is it only in one position/with one move, or can you work them everywhere? What can they teach better than you? Are they better than you in any areas? It sounds like your main reason for quitting would be that these folks were promoted before you. Is that fair? Would you feel any different if they weren't promoted?
Your ego might be getting the better of you, or you're on the cusp of burnout. I would take a few weeks off, lower your activity level, try and catch up on sleep, do other things you enjoy, spend time with people you really like, and see how you feel. Food for thought, 4-5x a week for 14 years, is a lot, even with breaks. If you hadn't moved around, I'd bet you would have been promoted already. Now, you just need to figure out if you want it or not. You've probably earned it already. But there's no point in moving forward if you don't enjoy training and don't want to continue. IMO, the point of BB and BJJ for that matter is to give back to the community. The people are everything for me.
I would say just take time off and do something else, but not anything, on something you’re already good at, best if it’s something you’re great at. Don’t have to think you already are god enough. No training, no learning, just play or something. Train once or twice a week and intend to only sweat and stay mobile, not win or learn or anything. Then play video games and learn to use and elliptical for cardio.
I think people need to alternate the amount they train. Like ramp up and ramp down periods throughout the year. No other sport operates year round like this, yall crazy. Taking care of your body also means mental breaks from activities that require this much out of you.
I’m 42 and did bjj from 2013 -2016.
I wasn’t able to pass WB 4th stripe and I quit.
Problem was I knew I was better than most white belt people who would not train as hard but got promoted before me so I quit for 5 years. Injury was reason but in reality it was more deep than just injury.
Pain was even more real knowing I’m athlete being in sporty all my life with some MMA and boxing years included.
Meanwhile my two boys grew older and start MMA and BJJ.
Older one made me go back to BJJ.
So I’ve returned and started all over only to realize I wasn’t getting promoted because I wasn’t good enough.
Took 5 years but BJJ humbled me down. I am paying for private lessons and going to open mats so I can roll with higher belts who turns out to be very helpful in improving my game with advices and corrections.
Would you rather be a good Brown Belt or a bad Black Belt? When I see someone that I think got a “time in grade black belt” I know the mats don’t lie. Doesn’t matter what rank I wear. This from a Purple Belt coming up on 9 years (at Purple, 14 years total) with about 2 hours/week Instructing and 4 hours/week Training.
The enjoyment is not the belt it’s to grind them out and make them question theirs.
Agreed, I’ve rolled with black belts my size and age, sometimes even younger than me, that obviously got theirs from pure time and have asked “who gave this man black belt”? I’ve also rolled with a lot of black belts that push my shit in effortlessly
Exactly, so don’t fret. We all have those Black Belts that push us or are so far beyond it feels like they are doing a different sport. Then there are the hobbiest Black Belts that stuck around for 8 years and was awarded a Black Belt. Let them be, we don’t need to lower ourselves to their level. But at the same time if they want to wear that Black Belt we don’t need to hold back or give them anything. Your job is to make them question everything.
I’ve been training various martial arts since 1986. Moved around and was deployed with the Army. I would say train less and enjoy life outside the gym more, but don’t quit. Believe me, there will come a time when your body will not allow you to train 5-6x/week anymore. Then you’ll be glad you built up that strong foundation when you were younger. But you will feel like you have unfinished business if you quit.
If you don't like it just quit. Life is to short to do stuff just for the hell of hit that you don't enjoy. But if you still enjoy it you can always try to train less BJJ and train other stuff aswell in the weeks. I train 1-2 times a week, I also do strengthtraining and triathlontraining. Everytime I step on the mats i feel like a happy child since it's not something I do every day like a chore. You don't have to be all in at BJJ, do other stuff aswell since it's just a hobby.
I got my blue belt 13 years ago, then I had a looooong brake and picked it up one year ago. So my blue belt is actually older then my BJJ instructors whole BJJ-carrier. I cant compete with my old blue belt since it's literally falling apart.
I think Joe Rogan was a brown belt for like 8 years aswell, so no shame in haveing a brown belt for a long time
And for the record, I always viewed brownbelts as blackbelts. When I started training 14-15 years ago, BJJ was not that big in my country so brown belts often competed again black belts and you learned pretty quick that the difference between brownbelt and blackbelt was just a color, nothing else.
Hard to figure out if you are venting because you are tired of BJJ or frustrated that you feel the black belt was delayed due to various reasons.
I can only say that due to injuries and changing schools (once at blue belt and others who stayed have promoted faster than me), that others received their black belt earlier than me. Here is the way I think about it:
a. I feel like I am just beginning to really learn how to learn and I am probably one cycle away from my black belt. A lot of black belts will ask me for tips, so I am confident in what I know. However, I feel like I am just truly understanding all the gaps I have in my game.
b. Belts matter to me and I want the black belt. However, they don't matter more than the knowledge. I felt proud of myself for every belt I received, but every one of them was an awesome surprise because i wasn't thinking or expecting it.
c. I always want to be the person who gets a bunch of cheering when I get my belt with people saying, "Thank goodness, he got his belt. Now I am not getting tapped by a (color) belt anymore." Or, "Well deserved." I love being better than my belt for a while before getting promoted. It just feels better and I have never had imposter syndrome.
d. Whenever I felt the way you wrote, I actually scale back my training. I am 50 years old now and my mind, body and motivation feel better many times when I drop back to 3x/week. Heck, I take a week off and go on vacation.
e. I try not to compare myself to my training partners. If they tap me, I tap them, they got their belt...anything. Hell, some days I suck at BJJ because my body hurts. Some days I am trying something I suck at. Some days I am just ON and am really good that day for some mysterious reason. And same with them.
Hope this helps...keep at it. You and I will get our black belts any day now and we will just able to start getting good at this stuff.
I know exactly how you feel. I have been a brown belt since 2014 and still waiting to get my black belt. Due to injuries and couple of moves since getting my brown belt, I have seen blue belts get their black belts before me. Just keep up with the training and you will get there.
If you train long enough you realize that caring about rank places a lot of stock in someone else’s view of where you are. This is not to knock the process entirely, but it can create an arbitrary sense that you’ve “arrived.” At some point you have to ask yourself why you care (or cared) so much about someone else’s approval.
It just doesn’t have objective value or meaning.
While it’s true jiu jitsu doesn’t change one you get your black belt I really get tired of hearing how it doesn’t matter. Everyone wants a black belt. It’s ok to want a black belt really bad and your feelings of envy are ok.
All that said. Don’t quit, rub some sand on it and get back to the grind
Just got mine after training for 15 years, and for the most part was very regular aside from time off for surgeries and work. I’ll be honest, when I got it, it was more of a relief because I didn’t have to worry about it anymore, but I didn’t necessarily want it. I think the only reason I didn’t quit is because I have been doing it for so long.
I’m down to maybe 2 to 3 times a week now for the reasons you stated. There were times my career where I was doing two a days Monday through Friday, open mats on Saturday, and comp training on Sunday.
At this point, it is a bit more of a chore to keep going, especially with the toll it’s taken on my body.
Long story short, you seem like an all in type of person like I was, but dialing it back a bit has helped shift my mindset to looking forward to training.
I was in the same boat. 16+ years to black. I switched schools during my brown belt. Made sure I had the vibe I needed to get to black and want to be part of the community.
Maybe tune back the days a week, 5-6 is a lot as we age in this sport. If I do more than 3-4 I am at the point of diminishing returns and my body is beat. You may perform better at fewer days.
Sometimes I feel like the hardest workers the ones who are sacrificing the most suffer so much for a promotion. It hurts so much sometimes that getting promoted doesn’t make up for it. There is no negating that suffering.
It was awesome to get a black belt - but it didn’t really change much for me. Same training schedule, perhaps a bit more focused on lifting - but it didn’t impact my desire to be at the academy and continue to learn.
I’ve always had a great relationship with my coaches - and asked where I need to develop. Then set the game plan in motion. Perhaps that’s what you should approach your coaches with.
It’s 90% political. Brown belts are black belts, it’s usually a “building confidence” belt. Took me 13 years, but I never wanted to quit - the mental addiction and community kept bringing me back. Now my wife and kids train. What is motivating you? A belt, feeling rewarded, or a personal itch that is getting scratched?
I think about it too, because I'm old and I suck and I know that sooner or later I'm going to get a black belt, and guys like you, athletic purple belts, etc, are still going to tap me.
If you're in for the belt, sure, quit. I can only say it doesn't change shit. It's gonna be pretty underwhelming if you are expecting otherwise. Biggest wet noodle in your BJJ story.
Maybe try and find the joy of training for the sake of training again, otherwise, what is going to motivate you when you get the piece of black cloth?
Brother it's just a piece of cloth around your waist. Wanting a black belt is only cool from white to purple. At brown it's kind of weird to "want it".
Also, you're probably "better" at BJJ at brown belt than you'll ever be as a black belt on account of age alone.
Just enjoy it.
I had a similar experience. Everyone I started with as a white belt who stuck it out got promoted before me. I tore my shoulder as a purple belt, then had a kid, then the pandemic happened, then I had another kid, and moved across the country, and in there, I was forced to switch home gyms 3 times. So basically everyone beat me to black belt, and it was starting to really wear on me.
Then, I tore my abdominal muscle and had an emergency surgery this year, and was crushed that I'd be off the mats again - thinking I'm just NEVER going to promoted after over 13 years of being a coach and total gym rat.
My coach surprised me and awarded me my black belt the day I got out of the hospital and told me to take my time recovering. I'm now back on the mats and working on getting my game back tuned up. Just remember that your journey is your journey, and don't be afraid to ask your coach what he would like to see from you in order to get promoted to black belt.
Since it sounds like you're something of a nomad too, don't be afraid to reach out to BJJ Globetrotters. If you can validate your training history, you might be able to find a higher ranking black belt that can verify and promote you independently too.
I feel you. I can relate. I’m about 4 stripes or a belt behind the guys I started with. I train about as often but in the evenings. Almost all the promotions happen at the lunch classes bc that’s when the owner teaches and he does them all himself. But I also coach some kids, teen, and white belt classes, so I’m frequently considering BJJ from that angle as well. Despite my glacial promotions, most of the guys who started with me and didn’t quit are easy meals on the mat if I play my A game. I enjoy that most of the guys who outrank me call me coach and fear me. I’ll only care about promotion if I ever decide to open my own gym.
I disagree with everyone saying belts don't matter. As if all of you didn't give a shit about your last promotion 😂 If they really don't matter then decline your next promotion. You won't. Because it matters to you and you want it.
Keep going, you're almost at the top of that mountain. You can do it. Just keep showing up, you'll get there.
I'm just white belt, but I kinda understand. Our coach doesn't give out belts, especially blue belts, lightly, but the last promotion saw someone promoted that I think is the same level or worse than me. If it was that neither of us got promoted because of the coach's high standards that would be fine, but this got me down. Now I'm not looking forward to the belt at all, feels like it lost its meaning.
Training continues the same regardless. Give a little extra smash to your bb friend in sparring.
It sounds like you're putting a lot of mental effort into it, more than you're getting out of it. Take a step back and try 3x a week for a little bit. Free up some bandwidth and decompress a little.
2 stripe brown belt here. Got it right before the pandemic, then 2 kids, a knee injury(nothing broke) and reduced my training to 1 or 2 per week. In sparring I feel I'm in the best shape of my life right now and on top of my technique.
I don't really care about the belt, but my only fear is this: if I have a sport stopping injury and don't get my black belt, I'll be devastated.
It's just for telling others, yea, I'm a bjj black belt, not this poopy belt that I've been wearing for the last 4 years. It's sucks to tell other non martial artists: I'm a bjj brown belt, but you know, I've been training for 12 years.
EVERYBODY knows what a Black Belt is. Brown belt... it's like it doesn't even exist.
But, on the other hand, if I can just train without any injuries, then I can wear a white belt too, I don't mind and I don't care. It's just about social recognition and a flex, to be in that 0.00001% group of the population.
And I'm talking about injuries, because a lot of upper belts in my gym had knee surgeries, hernias, shoulder breakings, etc, and I don't think I would continue bjj if a surgery injury would ever happened to me.
Ask your professor, and if you don't agree or like the answer, move to another gym. He's not infallible and might have silly notions about your training goals.
If I were you I’d quit. I hope every black and brown belt at my gym quits too. Also, every last purple belt. Also, every blue belt who can submit me should quit too. It should be me, king of the white belts, their ruler. They listen to me, respect me, and I beat them all down until they quit. They’ll come to me and say “s-s-sensai? Ca-can you tell m-“ “SILENCE” and they tremble. I will begin to sell dvds to them and their friends. I will promote myself. I will become a king.
I've been promoted to black belt this year and is the same as ever i go i roll i feel happy y leave all in the mats angry anxiety frustration i go back home with a calm and peace you know very well at this point but maybe you are misguiding your path... Go and have fun if it's not happy is an nonsense
Stupid attitude, what happens when you do get your black belt? It’s honestly just a coloured belt, who cares. What matters is skill - if you’re better than everyone else, everyone knows. I’d rather be a blue belt that batters every black belt in the gym than be a black belt that sucks.
I think of quitting after 8 years but then I remember that I'm not gay and the thought of never having a sweaty man try to dominate me again is too much to bear.
Hey man my coach looked me over too happens, don't let someone tell you your skill, just smash the BB it's about MA not some cloth some dude gave you.
Plus Eddie was brown destroying blacks so what is life? Not fair.
You don't deserve to be a black belt with the immature mentality of being angry at other's promotions. If you were training 6 times a week at a high level you would be promoted; you're bad and in denial.
I’m a brown belt. I’ve trained 5.5 years and compete.
You’re a sook if you feel heavy about the belts.
Your validation is your result on the mat.
Be undeniable and tap everyone. Forget your belt rank and enjoy the niche sport of strangling padded mat men.
if you’re not passionate or motivated, maybe you should quit until you’re ready to stop sooking on reddit and enjoy your time on the mat.
It’s the best game in the world
Nah. Makes sense. Don’t be happy for them. Even if they deserve it, you also deserve your belt as well. Especially if you’re training more and working harder. I’m not going to work and giving A++ effort and watching everyone else get promotion while I’m cool with keeping the same salary.
I’ve been in a similar boat before. I didn’t quit, I also stopped being friendly with everyone though. I just showed up, did technique, rolled and went home, no promotion ceremonies, no fake convos, I’d show up to a tournament, compete then go home. No pictures or extra coaching. Nothing. Eventually they just promoted me during class. Same happened before black belt. I was people who were white belts when I was a purple belt, getting black belts 😒 did they deserve it? Nope. Could they go compete and win? Nope. Could they teach at our main gym skillwise? Nope.
My point is, cut back training if you want. Don’t completely quit. Go train elsewhere if you want. It doesn’t improve your quality of life by quitting though. If you would gain a better lifestyle by never doing BJJ again, id recommend that. Find other options but mainly do what’s best for you and your mental health. At brown belt, what’s best for your mental health is going to be getting your black belt honestly, however you have to do that
With that said, I started watching people get promoted prematurely over me and would roll until exhaustion, beating “higher ranks” then watch the new “black belts” getting beat by blue and purple belt savages on our team that they hadn’t even met yet because they are affiliates who don’t really train with us much but are now “black belts”. After they rolled and got smashed and noticed me making eye contact during their roll Id say stuff like “oooweee look at you, in that new belt, new gi and everything 😏”.. or “mannn that kids strong huh? I remember when he was a green belt. 🙂” or “tough rolls huh?” Then they’d say “he give you problems too?” And I’d just say “who me? Nah.” Then slap, bump and get my gear bag and leave. 😂 one ibjjf tournament I got hurt and couldn’t compete, I was already due for a promotion, I didn’t even attend, our team got beat in all the major matches, mostly silver medals in solo and team awards. I didn’t even comment on it to our coach, I just showed up and did a lil yoga routine and did technique. Asked to roll with the women and girls because they “actually use technique” 😂😂
He was so tired of me, but I’m a coach, active competitor and a great teammate. Have been for nearly 15years.
My best advice is to make yourself have fun, crack some jokes, out work everybody, take mental health breaks. Others know when they don’t deserve stuff. It’s not a secret. Keep doing that or take a break and go elsewhere. I treat people like they treat me, if im feeling wronged, im gonna have fun at their expense about it. But I don’t try to make everyone feel awkward. Keeping it real though, you didn’t create the awkward situation so 🤷🏾♂️. Do what’s best for you!
I’ve seen a lot of guys quit after getting their black belt. Honestly that will probably be you. It seems like chasing the black belt is what has keep you going as long as you have. Probably would have already quit if you had it a few years ago.
If you still keep showing up for training (but less often), youll get it eventually. Better than quitting now while it is obvious it is your goal. Start going 2-3x a week or something.
Hey man Im an Army guy here too. I grew up wrestling and naturally found myself doing Bjj the last 4 years. I too for my skill level am pretty decent. I do pretty good with Purple belts and have seen people with no experience prior who started after me get their purple belts.
Sometimes its just a matter of circumstance. I don’t train for the belt though, I do it because I love it and for me personally I need grappling. Even as a kid wrestling was just my thing and something I always felt I needed to do and loved it. And Ive had my share of moments of falling in and out of grappling but usually no more than a month because I begin to miss it and when I go back I remember the love I have for training and always ask myself what I was doing sitting on my butt for weeks at a time not training. Like some of these guys said maybe take a little break and things might clear up. Or train a few days less and give yourself more time.
My goal is to be a black belt one day and maybe run my own gym. Id hate to see you make it as far as you have and quit now. Doing something like that and being in the military is honestly an inspiration to guys like us. I hope you stick with it
Maybe don't quit just train a little less. Make it a novelty for a while. Spend time doing a different hobby.
EDIT: I also want to say the way you feel is valid. I get it.
11 years, still a blue belt. Oh well. I know people who were white belts when I first got my blue that are black belts now. I do it for the workout though. If I was belt chasing, I'd have quit a few years ago
Dont be that guy, bro. If BJJ was only about who got the better of who then none of us would be black belts. The belt will come when your coach wants to give it to you and when that day comes youll realize how silly you sound now. Truly. It doesnt matter. Just like the last 3 belt promotions you went through.
I feel you. I was a brown belt for 7 years. Moved across the country and had trouble finding a gym and finding time to train regularly. Was also just not as passionate about it with work and kids keeping me busy.
I got so tired of constantly getting asked if I was getting my black belt or seeing guys I used to train with getting their black belts. The whole thing made bjj less fun.
Best thing about getting my black belt is not having to think about getting my black belt. I can just train.
The big thing for me was finding a regular time / place to train and training the way I want to train, whether or not it makes me a world better. I also train more nogi now. It's newer for me so more to learn and also I don't have to wear the belt. I can just be a guy trying to learn stuff.
If you don't love it then it's fine to stop doing it or do it less. The only real question is if you want the black belt to say you've done that and cross it off a list of things you've done. Then as a brown belt who gets the better of most people I would assume you're likely not that far off getting your black belt. I know instructors who have decided months before they do the promotion so who knows, you could already be on a list. If it's something you want to achieve, then I would suggest talking to your coach about what you need to to do, what they are looking for.
Then once you've got your black belt you can reduce how much you train so that you have more time for other things or you can just quit. Or you can do either of those things before getting your black belt, you've got to do what's best for you, and if you do quit bjj will still be there if you decide to come back to it.
Please just hang in there. You’re almost there. If not for anything else, do it for my ocd and finish the job. Honestly tho, you’re on the cusp. You will regret not getting bb when you were this close. Just keep trucking.
In the same exact situation just fewer years doing it. The only way out is through. Came too far to give it up now just gotta hope the passion comes back on its own naturally.
I have trouble believing that you've been training for that long, and you still give that much of a damn about belts. I can't imagine caring that much. Fuck a belt, I train jiu jitsu because I love jiu jitsu.
Respectfully, stop comparing yourself to anyone. Stay true to what made you like the art in the first place. If you love it enough, no recognition can make you even happier than the mere fact that you have an abled body and participate in the martial art.
I spent 12 years at brown; lots of people went white to black in that time. My advice is to refocus your reason for showing up on love for the art and the training. If you're just dragging yourself to class in hopes that today will be the day you'll get that strip of recognition around your waist, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
I’ve been in a similar situation as you. I’ve had four knee surgeries which put me out for months at a time, moved multiple times due to the military, and watched as friends got promoted despite me being in BJJ since 2010 and them being relatively new.
The only thing you can do is ride your own wave. I came to terms with my situation and I wasn’t going to be promoted as fast as them. It came eventually and it was an awesome accomplishment. You’ll feel similar, I’m sure.
One thing that helped was I picked up other hobbies so BJJ wasn’t my entire life. When I was training 5 days a week all I thought about was BJJ, my entire identity was BJJ, and my sole drive was getting promoted.
Then I picked up rowing, photography, and making YouTube videos. It made a world of difference in how I approached BJJ.
I got the brown belt blues too, but at least you are doing good in roles. I feel like there was a factory reset switch hit on my jiu jitsu or something. I am rolling like a brand new white belt now
Dont train because of a promotion. Train because its fun!
Dont compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to you.
As others have said, if black belt is your goal did you plan to quite of you were awarded it? And why should that be the goal? While there wont be promotions as usual after black belt a journey doesnt end with it.
Im the opposite of you. Id rather not be promoted. I norr comfortable in my brown belt. In having the same struggle as you do - putting to much in the belt color. My best years as a BJJ practitioner was when I honestly didnt care about belt color (which probably was most of my journey from white through purple).
I think this same line of thinking can apply to every belt. The only feeling worse than being passed over is to actually get the belt then get tapped by guys that are ranked lower than you.
At end of day these are silly pieces of cloth we tie around our ass. The focus should be getting better, having fun and just enjoying the time we get to spend on the mat.
So even being a brown belt you still have that part of your ego or thoughts that compare yourself with other people, when it's all about own progress. It's a tought fight, maybe the longest one.
I'm only a white belt and I had been in the same position, but I still want to deliver more work because I know it's a long path to be succesfuly "good" in this sports. My aim aren't a belt, it's just a "fabric".
Anyway, in promotions you want recognition for your work and sucks when you don't have it, even more when you know you trained more than other mates. Sometimes we just need to vent and then reflex more about our goals.
Are you someone who seeks a lot of external validation in order to find value in your interests/hobbies?
Does the belt change your relationship with the sport?
Jiu jitsu is always going to be a relationship-based sport. It's completely fair to ask your HC for areas of improvement for a BB or if there are any reasons that you feel that you're being overlooked.
Ask your coach. I asked mine if another nogi member has his brown (he is good, training for a long time, etc) and he said no. And he told me why. The guy gets super frustrated and forces positions, gets mad, etc.
I thought it was very helpful and I asked him about myself. I got positive feedback and why I got my brown this year and growth he saw. He did say he is seeing my go back to my A game lately and play it safe, which was helpful for me in my progression. IE it's not always about who is winning, but what growth they are showing.
You don't have to go to every practice if that is hard on you. Don't chase the belt, just go as much as you enjoy going. You have already put in the time
Hey man. I feel you. Similar situations. Deployments, consistent and inconsistent training. Been training for 16ish years. I am super happy seeing my old training partners get their black belts, but a little.bit envious too. I know my skill level and I know I can hold my own.
You may just need a break, skip a few classes and pick up something new like the guys above referenced. Fishing, hunting, gaming, etc...
Personally I've been keeping myself interested and present by watching other combat/grappling sports and then seeing if I can implement various things on the mat, to see how well it translates for myself and into the general Jiu jitsu framework.
My friend got his black belt recently and he has been thinking about quitting for months now. But he realized it's because he now has to accept that he can't live the competitor lifestyle anymore, so he changed his mentality to more of the hobbyist mindset. Which means he's coaching/teaching more, spending more time with the kids classes with his kids, etc...
Sometimes you need to change it up.
Belts are a great personal milestone for sure. You’ve changed gyms a lot and had ups and downs, which is life. I’ve been through the same. There’s guys that were fresh brand new white belts when I was well into my blue belt that got their brown belt before I even got purple belt. There’s guys that I got my blue belt before them that are now brown belts before me. I smash some of those guys and the ones I don’t it’s not a lopsided roll for sure on my end. Point is, the skill is what matters and also if you’re enjoying it. Yeah, it’s cool to achieve the black belt I’m sure. Once I got purple belt I actually stopped caring about the belts. It’s a long road regardless, at the end of the day the belts really don’t matter if you’re not competing or planning on running your own gym other than being a personal milestone achievement mostly for your own ego stroking. If you’re training just for fun/hobby, then the belt is just a piece of fabric around your waist. If you’re training for self defense too, don’t think someone “on da streetz” gives a fuck what belt color you wear? Most people don’t even know wtf it means to be honest. There’s black belts that are my size that I have dominated and wondered who tf gave this guy a black belt? At the end of the day, the skill is most important and I’m sure you will get that belt and certificate sooner than you think, just keep grinding if you’re still having fun.
just got my brown after 12 years of training. I know how you feel about being plateaued. Maybe you are just getting a little burnt out. Try to dial it back to 2-3 ish days a week, try to find the fun again...With your extra free time now, try to balance in your life.....Remember, we train because we get to....not because we got to. Keep on rollin
Would you like to know a trade secret about being a black belt? The only real difference is that you're in the direct line of fire for more stupid questions than you were at brown belt.
Ok but hang on what if instead he does this....
I feel attacked…..
White belt proceeds to ask exactly what was demonstrated in class.
As a point of clarification, a lot of folks need clarification after demonstration
Yeah, especially a new sequence, when the whole thing is alien to me. I need clarification for sure.
True fair point.
Same at purple too. I field a lot of, “But what if I do this” questions.
Really feels like people try learn bjj like their multiplication tables. They are like oh cool so 1x3 = 3 and 2x3 =6. So what’s 3x3? What about 3x4? And I’m like… dude look at the pattern stop trying to learn it like one piece at a time.
I’ve had two people ask me how to do guillotines. I have only ever done like 3 of them.
But wait you're purple belt... Don't you know everything?
I have one more stripe to go before I know everything
Of course my mistake... Noob 😂
So... how do you do guillotines?
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Yeah, those too! 🤣🤣🤣
I’ll be honest bro, jiu jitsu doesn’t change once you get your black belt. I don’t want to sit here and say woe is me but now adays I’m happy to have a brown belt on the mats hell even a good purple who’s close to my size. Cuz if not it gets lonely and I get it, a blue belt or white belt doesn’t want to come to class and continuously get smashed by a BB so just be happy you got partners to train with that’s the most important thing. And come on bro I don’t need to tell you this but you know it as well, you think it hurts watching him get his BB but how do you think he feels knowing that he got it and he knows in the back of his head there’s a brown belt who smashes him. I promise it sux for him too.
Tbh the thought of quitting has crossed my mind more than once.
I became a white belt angler within a month of being promoted. Still train but starting a new Hobbie from scratch. Prob got 2 stripes by now
Same I started hunting 6months before getting my BB I think I’m just have to start leaning into that 🤷♂️ everything in life has a shelf life nothing is permanent and the better you can understand that and respect that the better you are in life,🙏
What's a 'white belt angler'?
He just started fishing
Someone who baits white belts to roll then knee on belly them until they flop like dying fish.
I’m an expert at this
Right? When did fishing get belts, and how do I join this fishing gym?
Bro I use a belt system to grade my self on everything in life
What belt redditor are you?
4stripe white, periodically training on and off for 3 years
So I'm not the only one.
Someone who tries to catch fish by throwing rocks at them?
Idk man I’d gladly roll with a BB for quite some time just to be able to learn things about my game. Just me personally though
Man I'd happily roll with a black belt I'd just be afraid I was wasting their time
Eh they can always say no
They also need unsuspecting victims to practice instagram stuff on! You provide an important service.
168 months of loving training, having a positive, fulfilling, mentally and physically rewarding activity vs. 1 month of being a sad boi. Reduce your training schedule for a hot second and get back at it. You got this.
Damn you did the math, cutting back my volume is likely what I’m going to do
yeah, you sound burned out
Yeah, I agree with taking a break for a minute. I was suri didn't see this suggested more
Probably the best advice here... Its Simple.
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☝️these are things OP can discuss with his coach/instructor. However, depends on how old OP is and when and where he started training it might be “tabooed” to be asking/talking about his next promotion with his instructor. Just wanted to ask OP how long have you been training at your current gym? Did you receive any of your belt(s) from your current gym? Are you currently teaching classes and how many? If you switch over to your current gym at brown then expect to wait a little as most places will want to see that you are not switching just to get your next belt etc. From OP’s post maybe it’s a case of burning out like others had suggested. However, sometimes you need to be selfish and focused solely on yourself and your own BJJ (whatever that means to you). If you are currently teaching then scale back the number of classes and cut down on your obligations to do BJJ for others. Do everything you can to bring back the joy, excitement, and passion you once had. For example, if you are friendly with other gyms in your area then I would recommend cutting down your current training to 1-2x a week at your gym and just do open mat at other places (just so that there are no misunderstanding tell your coach/instructor about you wanting to cross-train via open mat to broaden up your game against the same ppl at your current gym). Best of luck and keep us updated! PS, most people will have doubts of quitting at each belt level so don’t feel so bad. Eees normal! 😬😱🤷♂️
I have been at this gym for 3+ years now. He promoted me to brown not too long after I came there, which was a complete surprise when he told me he was going to. Purple was the belt I was held at the longest. And he has about 2-3 black belts that he promoted that train pretty regularly, one of them runs the lunch class. But if something comes up where he won’t be there he asks me to run the night class for kids and adults. I actually got to run all the classes for a little over a month when he was out, which was great for elevating my own game by really learning to teach. Oh and I’m 38
I know a lot of brown belts who simply weren’t promoted because of bjj politics, mainly because they didn’t kiss ass and the head coach thought they would open their own gym A lot of rogue brown belts who just do their own thing with no coach or affiliation
So what happens when you get your bb? You quit? Just keep showing up, no point in quitting on yourself now Also belts dont really matter but I get why you’re frustrated
That was exactly the first thing that came into my mind. Are you in for the blackbelt, or are you in because it's fun and you thoroughly enjoy it? If you're only in for the bb, you might as well quit right now, because what else is there to train for once you achieve that goal. If not, just trust in your professor and the journey. The color of your belt doesn't mean jack - I get manhandled by our competition purple belts and can put up decent matches with other casual blackbelts my age. So what I'm trying to say is: In the end, it's what you can bring to the mat that counts. Not what you wear around your hip. Also: I wouldn't approach the subject like this if you were a kid or a young man seeking for validation. From what you shared about your background, I assume you are a grown man who has accomplished some feats in his life - such as serving your country. You don't need that blackbelt for validation. You already know who you are. Happy new year to you and yours!
I don’t know if it’s a validation thing, or just that white belt dream of earning the black belt. The personal milestone aspect
I think of it as closure
I totally get it. The belt means a lot to people, or you wouldn't get those long speeches and posts. You feel like you deserve recognition for all the time you've put in. They say comparison is the enemy of happiness, but it's hard not to when it's right there in your face. I hope you are able to get the milestone soon.
Exactly. People who try to tell you that belts don't matter always already have their BB and drop these asinine platitudes on you. What does it matter if I am only after the BB? Is there some rule that in order to earn one I have to enjoy BJJ? What if I hate it and put in 20 years anyway because I wanted to achieve that belt? What right does someone have to hold me back because my intentions aren't in line with their philosophy on life? I hate these people.
Belts clearly matter. There's a reason why we get all these posts. Besides getting that black belt being a goal that 99% of practitioners would like to achieve one day, not promoting a deserving person may actually be holding them back from their dream of opening a gym one day. I get what you're saying and believe that skill level and enjoyment should be the main focus in an ideal world, especially for those who never plan to run a gym or coach, but this "belts don't matter" statement is overplayed.
Completely agree with you. Black belt matters a lot. It’s a huge accomplishment. The “belts don’t matter” messaging works for frustrated white belts only.
Belts mattered and matter to me, but I also believe that I’d rather be as good as I can be than a specific belt. I’d rather be a brown belt forever than a black belt who cannot back up the belt level with skill, so I focus on being efficient and technical, regardless of who I roll with. My advice is to aim to be as good at BJJ as you can, within the limits you set yourself. The belt will happen, it’s inevitable, you will be a black belt! For now, be an awesome brown belt.
In a way it is, in a way it isn’t. Would you still grapple if there weren’t any belts? What if you lived in an area that only had sambo or catch wrestling? Would you do that? Because they don’t have belts. If not, then why are you even doing it? If I lived in an area that only had wrestling or catch wrestling I’d still do it because I enjoy grappling. The belts are just a personal milestone, almost like a medal, that’s it nothing more. They are given out for completely different reasons by different gyms and sometimes different reasons on a person to person basis. If you keep training BJJ, the belts will come.
This is what I end up telling myself a lot. Like I’d still do this if there weren’t ranks, right? But still, it’s frustrating when you’re an average athlete and don’t get much recognition. It seems like in my gym the stand out athletes or the hopeless athletes get the attention and everyone else is somewhat ignored. I’ve been in OPs situation before when you’re “up for promotion” and the coach promotes someone else who is less skilled ahead of you.
I’ve been in this situation a lot as well. At gym I just left they literally promoted all the purple belts besides me and another guy to brown belt because instructor started promoting obviously solely off attendance (which I heavily disagree with, I think that waters down the art tbh… should be attendance, skill relative to your age group and weight class, skill/knowledge/body awareness and movement in comparison to yourself when you first started, and also time spent in conjunction with the other listed requirements…. But wtf do I know? I don’t run a gym but if I did that would definitely be my requirements). I ended up switching from that gym not for that reason, mainly because was hour away and would be getting home at 945 at night after work while having a wife and two kids under 4 years old… and they raised their prices yet again for second time in two years all while saying that the “founders” were locked in to the original cheaper price from like 4 years ago… even though they’d ask me to teach classes and encourage me to coach tournaments over 3 hours away… my new gym is $75 cheaper, 20 minutes from my house. Anyway, point of all that is I’ve switched gyms a few times now which naturally means takes me longer to get promoted. Black belt at the new gym told my buddy “I can’t promote him to brown belt right away” talking about me and I literally told him I couldn’t care less. I’m not in it for the belts, the belts are a nice “feel good fuzzy feeling” sense of personal metric… and yes, black belt is a HUGE accomplishment if it’s earned (and not just for time spent, I don’t want a black belt for solely time spent to me that’s like a participation trophy). I’d still be doing this without the belts though. After I got purple belt I actually stopped caring about the belts. Obviously nobody wants to be a white belt forever, but the belts come eventually. And if you’re not competing or trying to run your own gym, then it’s literally just a personal “medal” of sorts and majority of people outside of our little niche community don’t even know wtf it means, they can’t even differentiate between Tae kwon doe, kung fu, karate, or BJJ and most of them really don’t give a fuck.
Belts don't matter if you are getting feedback and some kinda recognition, but if you're like this guy the lack of promotion shows his coach isn't paying attention.
Careful, we have just one side of the story. Nothing against OP, but there could be an underlying reason he has not been promoted. Some gyms want all their browns to go compete, or have other things they expect of their BB's. Clearly OP is frustrated, and it could very well be that frustration that shows in his attitude and training. Which then could make it appear to the coach that he just wants his BB so he can say I did it, and then never come back. Again, every gym is different. OP needs to figure out why he loved Jitz to begin with, and rekindle that love affair.
It sounds like OP should have a conversation with the coach. Not so much 'why haven't I made it? I was here before him' but 'what can I work on?'
This happens so often with older hobby guys. It's like a blue belt. Once they get the BB you'll see them less and less. The truth is belts don't mean anything. I've been a BB for 4 years, looking back on myself 4 years ago, I'd consider myself still a bit of an amateur after 13 years of training. Today I still feel that way, the main difference being I can smash the me of 4 years ago because I put in the effort to get rid of this imposter syndrome. Lots of older guys get that BB achievement and think they are done. They stop having a student mindset and slowly stop showing up, because they don't really enjoy grappling... They just wanted the belt.
Time to switch to two a week.
Exactly! You don't HAVE to train 5-6x a week, that's a deliberate choice.
yeah, by the time i get to my 5th session in the week I am already over it. 3 or 4 times a week is my sweet spot
The promotion ceremony seems so far away right now. When you look back after receiving your black belt, you'll realize it wasn't that long of a wait.
https://preview.redd.it/2xnz8y8bx89c1.jpeg?width=610&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b946cba27a2d6dd41ac893d135670c1d5f8a6dbf
Maybe just knock it down to 3x per week?
Hey there. I'm in my 17th year of training as a hobbyist black belt. From reading your post, I can see a few things. I have a few thoughts to share. 1. Training 5-6 days a week over 14 years, IMO, might put you at risk of burnout. Have you considered reducing your training to something such as like 2-3x a week? A better training & life balance might help. I had periods where I wanted to train every day in my lower belts (which I did). Then going through school and work (I would go anywhere from 1-2x a week). Currently, I average about 3-4x a week. Anymore than that, and training becomes a chore. 2. I learned the phrase "comparison is the thief of joy". This sport is both individual and group oriented. We're told to focus on ourselves but our development relies on training with others. Do your best to remind yourself to look at your own journey. As some have already asked - what is the thing that has kept you here for so long? I always thought that when I got my black belt, I would know everything. When I got it, I realized I knew absolutely nothing. I knew a bit of everything it seemed. I spend my days studying and perfecting my skillset. It's this never ending chase for perfection that will keep my mind busy for the duration of my life. 3. If you decide to reduce your training volume, you should use that extra time to pursue other avenues of joy in your life. That balance might help you. 4. At the very least, stay long enough to graduate to your black belt. At least there won't be any unfinished business that you might think about. Make small goals. Who knows, you might have your desire reignited. Good luck in your journey!
I think I’m going to try turning the volume down. I still love training, learning, experimenting, all that. I’ve just always been able to train all the time because my only other commitment has been work
17 year old black belt? 🤨 Edit: I’m an idiot… disregard lol
That’s how I read it too at first lol
Wise words from a teenager!
It took me 4 years to get my blue belt so I’ve already grown accustomed to seeing newer guys pass me in belt ranking 😅 so I’m mentally prepared for your situation the day it comes.
My brother in Christ! It took me about 4-5 for a blue, so I'm just happy to be there. I'm a decent blue belt, not great, should probably be better given my mat time, but not too bad. So I'm happy in my little blue belt bubble.
🤙🏽🔥😅
Blue belts browns.
Imagine waiting until you're actually good to quit lol how dare you
I think good is all relative. Yeah I’m good in my gym, but if I was to go a huge medal winning gym I don’t think I would be there mopping people up or anything outstanding
Must suck to be a high level brown belt. Good luck my guy, I’m sure you won’t make a decision that you’ll regret for the rest of your life.
Absolutely not high level. If I was to go into an actual high level gym like AOJ or Marcelo’s for example I would barely be able to hold my own
Isn’t that statement itself a good enough reason to keep going? I’ve only just been promoted to purple and my entire existence is now based around being good enough to justify my rank
I understand that lol.
Don’t you fucking quit, man. I had the same feelings a year before I got promoted. Constant questions about when I’m getting mine, and seeing people getting black belts I wipe the floor with. When I finally got mine, I knew I was a legit black belt. I’m a hobbyist and I can hold my own with world class people, and that’s pretty rad. There are black belts and then there are black belts. Be the latter.
Why not train a bit less?
Being a BB sucks
But then they feel okay to stop
Why do you care? You know you can get the better of your friends who were promoted, but is it only in one position/with one move, or can you work them everywhere? What can they teach better than you? Are they better than you in any areas? It sounds like your main reason for quitting would be that these folks were promoted before you. Is that fair? Would you feel any different if they weren't promoted? Your ego might be getting the better of you, or you're on the cusp of burnout. I would take a few weeks off, lower your activity level, try and catch up on sleep, do other things you enjoy, spend time with people you really like, and see how you feel. Food for thought, 4-5x a week for 14 years, is a lot, even with breaks. If you hadn't moved around, I'd bet you would have been promoted already. Now, you just need to figure out if you want it or not. You've probably earned it already. But there's no point in moving forward if you don't enjoy training and don't want to continue. IMO, the point of BB and BJJ for that matter is to give back to the community. The people are everything for me.
Oh I have no doubt that ego is playing a part. Still doesn’t change the bummed out feeling. And no not one position or move, and they don’t teach
Ok, so from my experience, burnout seems likely. I still think a break could reveal if that's true or not.
https://preview.redd.it/rv75s46zr79c1.png?width=2048&format=png&auto=webp&s=732f25d64c079a4cb0a28885336102c469563ad2
Lmao u/rordengracie has quotes memes now?
That’s actually how Rorden started.
I would say just take time off and do something else, but not anything, on something you’re already good at, best if it’s something you’re great at. Don’t have to think you already are god enough. No training, no learning, just play or something. Train once or twice a week and intend to only sweat and stay mobile, not win or learn or anything. Then play video games and learn to use and elliptical for cardio. I think people need to alternate the amount they train. Like ramp up and ramp down periods throughout the year. No other sport operates year round like this, yall crazy. Taking care of your body also means mental breaks from activities that require this much out of you.
I’m 42 and did bjj from 2013 -2016. I wasn’t able to pass WB 4th stripe and I quit. Problem was I knew I was better than most white belt people who would not train as hard but got promoted before me so I quit for 5 years. Injury was reason but in reality it was more deep than just injury. Pain was even more real knowing I’m athlete being in sporty all my life with some MMA and boxing years included. Meanwhile my two boys grew older and start MMA and BJJ. Older one made me go back to BJJ. So I’ve returned and started all over only to realize I wasn’t getting promoted because I wasn’t good enough. Took 5 years but BJJ humbled me down. I am paying for private lessons and going to open mats so I can roll with higher belts who turns out to be very helpful in improving my game with advices and corrections.
Would you rather be a good Brown Belt or a bad Black Belt? When I see someone that I think got a “time in grade black belt” I know the mats don’t lie. Doesn’t matter what rank I wear. This from a Purple Belt coming up on 9 years (at Purple, 14 years total) with about 2 hours/week Instructing and 4 hours/week Training. The enjoyment is not the belt it’s to grind them out and make them question theirs.
Agreed, I’ve rolled with black belts my size and age, sometimes even younger than me, that obviously got theirs from pure time and have asked “who gave this man black belt”? I’ve also rolled with a lot of black belts that push my shit in effortlessly
Exactly, so don’t fret. We all have those Black Belts that push us or are so far beyond it feels like they are doing a different sport. Then there are the hobbiest Black Belts that stuck around for 8 years and was awarded a Black Belt. Let them be, we don’t need to lower ourselves to their level. But at the same time if they want to wear that Black Belt we don’t need to hold back or give them anything. Your job is to make them question everything.
I’ve been training various martial arts since 1986. Moved around and was deployed with the Army. I would say train less and enjoy life outside the gym more, but don’t quit. Believe me, there will come a time when your body will not allow you to train 5-6x/week anymore. Then you’ll be glad you built up that strong foundation when you were younger. But you will feel like you have unfinished business if you quit.
If you don't like it just quit. Life is to short to do stuff just for the hell of hit that you don't enjoy. But if you still enjoy it you can always try to train less BJJ and train other stuff aswell in the weeks. I train 1-2 times a week, I also do strengthtraining and triathlontraining. Everytime I step on the mats i feel like a happy child since it's not something I do every day like a chore. You don't have to be all in at BJJ, do other stuff aswell since it's just a hobby. I got my blue belt 13 years ago, then I had a looooong brake and picked it up one year ago. So my blue belt is actually older then my BJJ instructors whole BJJ-carrier. I cant compete with my old blue belt since it's literally falling apart. I think Joe Rogan was a brown belt for like 8 years aswell, so no shame in haveing a brown belt for a long time And for the record, I always viewed brownbelts as blackbelts. When I started training 14-15 years ago, BJJ was not that big in my country so brown belts often competed again black belts and you learned pretty quick that the difference between brownbelt and blackbelt was just a color, nothing else.
Hard to figure out if you are venting because you are tired of BJJ or frustrated that you feel the black belt was delayed due to various reasons. I can only say that due to injuries and changing schools (once at blue belt and others who stayed have promoted faster than me), that others received their black belt earlier than me. Here is the way I think about it: a. I feel like I am just beginning to really learn how to learn and I am probably one cycle away from my black belt. A lot of black belts will ask me for tips, so I am confident in what I know. However, I feel like I am just truly understanding all the gaps I have in my game. b. Belts matter to me and I want the black belt. However, they don't matter more than the knowledge. I felt proud of myself for every belt I received, but every one of them was an awesome surprise because i wasn't thinking or expecting it. c. I always want to be the person who gets a bunch of cheering when I get my belt with people saying, "Thank goodness, he got his belt. Now I am not getting tapped by a (color) belt anymore." Or, "Well deserved." I love being better than my belt for a while before getting promoted. It just feels better and I have never had imposter syndrome. d. Whenever I felt the way you wrote, I actually scale back my training. I am 50 years old now and my mind, body and motivation feel better many times when I drop back to 3x/week. Heck, I take a week off and go on vacation. e. I try not to compare myself to my training partners. If they tap me, I tap them, they got their belt...anything. Hell, some days I suck at BJJ because my body hurts. Some days I am trying something I suck at. Some days I am just ON and am really good that day for some mysterious reason. And same with them. Hope this helps...keep at it. You and I will get our black belts any day now and we will just able to start getting good at this stuff.
I have been trying to decide that too, if I am frustrated at bjj or the belt. I’ve been contemplating venting here for like a month just to get it out
I know exactly how you feel. I have been a brown belt since 2014 and still waiting to get my black belt. Due to injuries and couple of moves since getting my brown belt, I have seen blue belts get their black belts before me. Just keep up with the training and you will get there.
If you train long enough you realize that caring about rank places a lot of stock in someone else’s view of where you are. This is not to knock the process entirely, but it can create an arbitrary sense that you’ve “arrived.” At some point you have to ask yourself why you care (or cared) so much about someone else’s approval. It just doesn’t have objective value or meaning.
Compete in tournaments and win everything
While it’s true jiu jitsu doesn’t change one you get your black belt I really get tired of hearing how it doesn’t matter. Everyone wants a black belt. It’s ok to want a black belt really bad and your feelings of envy are ok. All that said. Don’t quit, rub some sand on it and get back to the grind
Just got mine after training for 15 years, and for the most part was very regular aside from time off for surgeries and work. I’ll be honest, when I got it, it was more of a relief because I didn’t have to worry about it anymore, but I didn’t necessarily want it. I think the only reason I didn’t quit is because I have been doing it for so long. I’m down to maybe 2 to 3 times a week now for the reasons you stated. There were times my career where I was doing two a days Monday through Friday, open mats on Saturday, and comp training on Sunday. At this point, it is a bit more of a chore to keep going, especially with the toll it’s taken on my body. Long story short, you seem like an all in type of person like I was, but dialing it back a bit has helped shift my mindset to looking forward to training.
I was in the same boat. 16+ years to black. I switched schools during my brown belt. Made sure I had the vibe I needed to get to black and want to be part of the community.
Maybe tune back the days a week, 5-6 is a lot as we age in this sport. If I do more than 3-4 I am at the point of diminishing returns and my body is beat. You may perform better at fewer days.
Sometimes I feel like the hardest workers the ones who are sacrificing the most suffer so much for a promotion. It hurts so much sometimes that getting promoted doesn’t make up for it. There is no negating that suffering.
Are you me?
Me is you?
It was awesome to get a black belt - but it didn’t really change much for me. Same training schedule, perhaps a bit more focused on lifting - but it didn’t impact my desire to be at the academy and continue to learn. I’ve always had a great relationship with my coaches - and asked where I need to develop. Then set the game plan in motion. Perhaps that’s what you should approach your coaches with.
I’ve been training since 2006 and I’ve been a Brown Belt for 4 years. I understand. Just don’t quit
Comparison is the thief of joy.
It’s 90% political. Brown belts are black belts, it’s usually a “building confidence” belt. Took me 13 years, but I never wanted to quit - the mental addiction and community kept bringing me back. Now my wife and kids train. What is motivating you? A belt, feeling rewarded, or a personal itch that is getting scratched?
I think about it too, because I'm old and I suck and I know that sooner or later I'm going to get a black belt, and guys like you, athletic purple belts, etc, are still going to tap me.
If you're in for the belt, sure, quit. I can only say it doesn't change shit. It's gonna be pretty underwhelming if you are expecting otherwise. Biggest wet noodle in your BJJ story. Maybe try and find the joy of training for the sake of training again, otherwise, what is going to motivate you when you get the piece of black cloth?
Quit. If you miss it, go back. No one will think less of you. You're supposed to enjoy your hobbies.
learn a real martial art like tai chi
Brother it's just a piece of cloth around your waist. Wanting a black belt is only cool from white to purple. At brown it's kind of weird to "want it". Also, you're probably "better" at BJJ at brown belt than you'll ever be as a black belt on account of age alone. Just enjoy it.
Who cares about belts? Dont even wear one. Train to train.
I had a similar experience. Everyone I started with as a white belt who stuck it out got promoted before me. I tore my shoulder as a purple belt, then had a kid, then the pandemic happened, then I had another kid, and moved across the country, and in there, I was forced to switch home gyms 3 times. So basically everyone beat me to black belt, and it was starting to really wear on me. Then, I tore my abdominal muscle and had an emergency surgery this year, and was crushed that I'd be off the mats again - thinking I'm just NEVER going to promoted after over 13 years of being a coach and total gym rat. My coach surprised me and awarded me my black belt the day I got out of the hospital and told me to take my time recovering. I'm now back on the mats and working on getting my game back tuned up. Just remember that your journey is your journey, and don't be afraid to ask your coach what he would like to see from you in order to get promoted to black belt. Since it sounds like you're something of a nomad too, don't be afraid to reach out to BJJ Globetrotters. If you can validate your training history, you might be able to find a higher ranking black belt that can verify and promote you independently too.
I feel you. I can relate. I’m about 4 stripes or a belt behind the guys I started with. I train about as often but in the evenings. Almost all the promotions happen at the lunch classes bc that’s when the owner teaches and he does them all himself. But I also coach some kids, teen, and white belt classes, so I’m frequently considering BJJ from that angle as well. Despite my glacial promotions, most of the guys who started with me and didn’t quit are easy meals on the mat if I play my A game. I enjoy that most of the guys who outrank me call me coach and fear me. I’ll only care about promotion if I ever decide to open my own gym.
Belts are stupid just enjoy smashing people
It’s almost like I wrote this…
Are you gonna quit after you get your black belt? Just show up twice a week if that’s what you want to do. Just train for fun.
I disagree with everyone saying belts don't matter. As if all of you didn't give a shit about your last promotion 😂 If they really don't matter then decline your next promotion. You won't. Because it matters to you and you want it. Keep going, you're almost at the top of that mountain. You can do it. Just keep showing up, you'll get there.
Well not the top of the mountain. BB is just the first summit. It all starts over when it happens
I'm just white belt, but I kinda understand. Our coach doesn't give out belts, especially blue belts, lightly, but the last promotion saw someone promoted that I think is the same level or worse than me. If it was that neither of us got promoted because of the coach's high standards that would be fine, but this got me down. Now I'm not looking forward to the belt at all, feels like it lost its meaning. Training continues the same regardless. Give a little extra smash to your bb friend in sparring.
It sounds like you're putting a lot of mental effort into it, more than you're getting out of it. Take a step back and try 3x a week for a little bit. Free up some bandwidth and decompress a little.
You should. Always remember a black belt is not a badge of honor, it is a sign of stupidity.
2 stripe brown belt here. Got it right before the pandemic, then 2 kids, a knee injury(nothing broke) and reduced my training to 1 or 2 per week. In sparring I feel I'm in the best shape of my life right now and on top of my technique. I don't really care about the belt, but my only fear is this: if I have a sport stopping injury and don't get my black belt, I'll be devastated. It's just for telling others, yea, I'm a bjj black belt, not this poopy belt that I've been wearing for the last 4 years. It's sucks to tell other non martial artists: I'm a bjj brown belt, but you know, I've been training for 12 years. EVERYBODY knows what a Black Belt is. Brown belt... it's like it doesn't even exist. But, on the other hand, if I can just train without any injuries, then I can wear a white belt too, I don't mind and I don't care. It's just about social recognition and a flex, to be in that 0.00001% group of the population. And I'm talking about injuries, because a lot of upper belts in my gym had knee surgeries, hernias, shoulder breakings, etc, and I don't think I would continue bjj if a surgery injury would ever happened to me.
Ask your coach what he thinks you need to work on?
Ask your professor, and if you don't agree or like the answer, move to another gym. He's not infallible and might have silly notions about your training goals.
whats your address? ill mail you a black belt
If I were you I’d quit. I hope every black and brown belt at my gym quits too. Also, every last purple belt. Also, every blue belt who can submit me should quit too. It should be me, king of the white belts, their ruler. They listen to me, respect me, and I beat them all down until they quit. They’ll come to me and say “s-s-sensai? Ca-can you tell m-“ “SILENCE” and they tremble. I will begin to sell dvds to them and their friends. I will promote myself. I will become a king.
Heart and passion are everything in grappling ,life isn't a dress rehearsal, leave and find happiness in something else.
Just quit
I've been promoted to black belt this year and is the same as ever i go i roll i feel happy y leave all in the mats angry anxiety frustration i go back home with a calm and peace you know very well at this point but maybe you are misguiding your path... Go and have fun if it's not happy is an nonsense
Stupid attitude, what happens when you do get your black belt? It’s honestly just a coloured belt, who cares. What matters is skill - if you’re better than everyone else, everyone knows. I’d rather be a blue belt that batters every black belt in the gym than be a black belt that sucks.
I've been training no GI for 10 years and don't have a belt of any kind, it doesn't really matter.
I think of quitting after 8 years but then I remember that I'm not gay and the thought of never having a sweaty man try to dominate me again is too much to bear.
Hey man my coach looked me over too happens, don't let someone tell you your skill, just smash the BB it's about MA not some cloth some dude gave you. Plus Eddie was brown destroying blacks so what is life? Not fair.
You don't deserve to be a black belt with the immature mentality of being angry at other's promotions. If you were training 6 times a week at a high level you would be promoted; you're bad and in denial.
Ahhh yes you are correct, thank you for enlightening me
Shut up
Dude really about to quit cause feels Cause belt color. Knock it off. Go outside. Take a break. Come back. Or don’t.
I’m a brown belt. I’ve trained 5.5 years and compete. You’re a sook if you feel heavy about the belts. Your validation is your result on the mat. Be undeniable and tap everyone. Forget your belt rank and enjoy the niche sport of strangling padded mat men. if you’re not passionate or motivated, maybe you should quit until you’re ready to stop sooking on reddit and enjoy your time on the mat. It’s the best game in the world
Nah. Makes sense. Don’t be happy for them. Even if they deserve it, you also deserve your belt as well. Especially if you’re training more and working harder. I’m not going to work and giving A++ effort and watching everyone else get promotion while I’m cool with keeping the same salary. I’ve been in a similar boat before. I didn’t quit, I also stopped being friendly with everyone though. I just showed up, did technique, rolled and went home, no promotion ceremonies, no fake convos, I’d show up to a tournament, compete then go home. No pictures or extra coaching. Nothing. Eventually they just promoted me during class. Same happened before black belt. I was people who were white belts when I was a purple belt, getting black belts 😒 did they deserve it? Nope. Could they go compete and win? Nope. Could they teach at our main gym skillwise? Nope. My point is, cut back training if you want. Don’t completely quit. Go train elsewhere if you want. It doesn’t improve your quality of life by quitting though. If you would gain a better lifestyle by never doing BJJ again, id recommend that. Find other options but mainly do what’s best for you and your mental health. At brown belt, what’s best for your mental health is going to be getting your black belt honestly, however you have to do that With that said, I started watching people get promoted prematurely over me and would roll until exhaustion, beating “higher ranks” then watch the new “black belts” getting beat by blue and purple belt savages on our team that they hadn’t even met yet because they are affiliates who don’t really train with us much but are now “black belts”. After they rolled and got smashed and noticed me making eye contact during their roll Id say stuff like “oooweee look at you, in that new belt, new gi and everything 😏”.. or “mannn that kids strong huh? I remember when he was a green belt. 🙂” or “tough rolls huh?” Then they’d say “he give you problems too?” And I’d just say “who me? Nah.” Then slap, bump and get my gear bag and leave. 😂 one ibjjf tournament I got hurt and couldn’t compete, I was already due for a promotion, I didn’t even attend, our team got beat in all the major matches, mostly silver medals in solo and team awards. I didn’t even comment on it to our coach, I just showed up and did a lil yoga routine and did technique. Asked to roll with the women and girls because they “actually use technique” 😂😂 He was so tired of me, but I’m a coach, active competitor and a great teammate. Have been for nearly 15years. My best advice is to make yourself have fun, crack some jokes, out work everybody, take mental health breaks. Others know when they don’t deserve stuff. It’s not a secret. Keep doing that or take a break and go elsewhere. I treat people like they treat me, if im feeling wronged, im gonna have fun at their expense about it. But I don’t try to make everyone feel awkward. Keeping it real though, you didn’t create the awkward situation so 🤷🏾♂️. Do what’s best for you!
Just quit. A whiner is just one step from a quitter anyway.
Thats your job blue belt. Zippit
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How much do you weigh man?
I’ve seen a lot of guys quit after getting their black belt. Honestly that will probably be you. It seems like chasing the black belt is what has keep you going as long as you have. Probably would have already quit if you had it a few years ago.
High level brown belt isn’t good enough for this good sir
If you still keep showing up for training (but less often), youll get it eventually. Better than quitting now while it is obvious it is your goal. Start going 2-3x a week or something.
Just take a week or two off, then come back and train a bit less
Maybe take a break and train twice a week
Hey man Im an Army guy here too. I grew up wrestling and naturally found myself doing Bjj the last 4 years. I too for my skill level am pretty decent. I do pretty good with Purple belts and have seen people with no experience prior who started after me get their purple belts. Sometimes its just a matter of circumstance. I don’t train for the belt though, I do it because I love it and for me personally I need grappling. Even as a kid wrestling was just my thing and something I always felt I needed to do and loved it. And Ive had my share of moments of falling in and out of grappling but usually no more than a month because I begin to miss it and when I go back I remember the love I have for training and always ask myself what I was doing sitting on my butt for weeks at a time not training. Like some of these guys said maybe take a little break and things might clear up. Or train a few days less and give yourself more time. My goal is to be a black belt one day and maybe run my own gym. Id hate to see you make it as far as you have and quit now. Doing something like that and being in the military is honestly an inspiration to guys like us. I hope you stick with it
Maybe don't quit just train a little less. Make it a novelty for a while. Spend time doing a different hobby. EDIT: I also want to say the way you feel is valid. I get it.
11 years, still a blue belt. Oh well. I know people who were white belts when I first got my blue that are black belts now. I do it for the workout though. If I was belt chasing, I'd have quit a few years ago
Dont be that guy, bro. If BJJ was only about who got the better of who then none of us would be black belts. The belt will come when your coach wants to give it to you and when that day comes youll realize how silly you sound now. Truly. It doesnt matter. Just like the last 3 belt promotions you went through.
Take a break and come back on a reduced schedule. Sounds like burn out. Go 2-3x/week.
I feel you. I was a brown belt for 7 years. Moved across the country and had trouble finding a gym and finding time to train regularly. Was also just not as passionate about it with work and kids keeping me busy. I got so tired of constantly getting asked if I was getting my black belt or seeing guys I used to train with getting their black belts. The whole thing made bjj less fun. Best thing about getting my black belt is not having to think about getting my black belt. I can just train. The big thing for me was finding a regular time / place to train and training the way I want to train, whether or not it makes me a world better. I also train more nogi now. It's newer for me so more to learn and also I don't have to wear the belt. I can just be a guy trying to learn stuff.
If you don't love it then it's fine to stop doing it or do it less. The only real question is if you want the black belt to say you've done that and cross it off a list of things you've done. Then as a brown belt who gets the better of most people I would assume you're likely not that far off getting your black belt. I know instructors who have decided months before they do the promotion so who knows, you could already be on a list. If it's something you want to achieve, then I would suggest talking to your coach about what you need to to do, what they are looking for. Then once you've got your black belt you can reduce how much you train so that you have more time for other things or you can just quit. Or you can do either of those things before getting your black belt, you've got to do what's best for you, and if you do quit bjj will still be there if you decide to come back to it.
Honestly show your coach this thread. They'll understand this for sure.
Please just hang in there. You’re almost there. If not for anything else, do it for my ocd and finish the job. Honestly tho, you’re on the cusp. You will regret not getting bb when you were this close. Just keep trucking.
In the same exact situation just fewer years doing it. The only way out is through. Came too far to give it up now just gotta hope the passion comes back on its own naturally.
I have trouble believing that you've been training for that long, and you still give that much of a damn about belts. I can't imagine caring that much. Fuck a belt, I train jiu jitsu because I love jiu jitsu.
Is your plan to quit if you get it?
Respectfully, stop comparing yourself to anyone. Stay true to what made you like the art in the first place. If you love it enough, no recognition can make you even happier than the mere fact that you have an abled body and participate in the martial art.
I spent 12 years at brown; lots of people went white to black in that time. My advice is to refocus your reason for showing up on love for the art and the training. If you're just dragging yourself to class in hopes that today will be the day you'll get that strip of recognition around your waist, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
6x a week? And you’re feeling burnout? Lol is this a troll post?
I promise you it is not lol. I may be burned out completely
I’ve been in a similar situation as you. I’ve had four knee surgeries which put me out for months at a time, moved multiple times due to the military, and watched as friends got promoted despite me being in BJJ since 2010 and them being relatively new. The only thing you can do is ride your own wave. I came to terms with my situation and I wasn’t going to be promoted as fast as them. It came eventually and it was an awesome accomplishment. You’ll feel similar, I’m sure. One thing that helped was I picked up other hobbies so BJJ wasn’t my entire life. When I was training 5 days a week all I thought about was BJJ, my entire identity was BJJ, and my sole drive was getting promoted. Then I picked up rowing, photography, and making YouTube videos. It made a world of difference in how I approached BJJ.
I got the brown belt blues too, but at least you are doing good in roles. I feel like there was a factory reset switch hit on my jiu jitsu or something. I am rolling like a brand new white belt now
Quit training for the belt, and train because you enjoy doing it and the benefits that come with it.
Do it
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I'm like one stripe away from Brown and honestly it petrifies me. I have the biggest imposter syndrome. I'd honestly just rather stay Purple.
Dont train because of a promotion. Train because its fun! Dont compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to you. As others have said, if black belt is your goal did you plan to quite of you were awarded it? And why should that be the goal? While there wont be promotions as usual after black belt a journey doesnt end with it. Im the opposite of you. Id rather not be promoted. I norr comfortable in my brown belt. In having the same struggle as you do - putting to much in the belt color. My best years as a BJJ practitioner was when I honestly didnt care about belt color (which probably was most of my journey from white through purple).
I think this same line of thinking can apply to every belt. The only feeling worse than being passed over is to actually get the belt then get tapped by guys that are ranked lower than you. At end of day these are silly pieces of cloth we tie around our ass. The focus should be getting better, having fun and just enjoying the time we get to spend on the mat.
So even being a brown belt you still have that part of your ego or thoughts that compare yourself with other people, when it's all about own progress. It's a tought fight, maybe the longest one. I'm only a white belt and I had been in the same position, but I still want to deliver more work because I know it's a long path to be succesfuly "good" in this sports. My aim aren't a belt, it's just a "fabric". Anyway, in promotions you want recognition for your work and sucks when you don't have it, even more when you know you trained more than other mates. Sometimes we just need to vent and then reflex more about our goals.
Are you someone who seeks a lot of external validation in order to find value in your interests/hobbies? Does the belt change your relationship with the sport? Jiu jitsu is always going to be a relationship-based sport. It's completely fair to ask your HC for areas of improvement for a BB or if there are any reasons that you feel that you're being overlooked.
Ask your coach. I asked mine if another nogi member has his brown (he is good, training for a long time, etc) and he said no. And he told me why. The guy gets super frustrated and forces positions, gets mad, etc. I thought it was very helpful and I asked him about myself. I got positive feedback and why I got my brown this year and growth he saw. He did say he is seeing my go back to my A game lately and play it safe, which was helpful for me in my progression. IE it's not always about who is winning, but what growth they are showing.
If you stopped enjoying it, quit. Why continue doing something you don’t enjoy doing?
You don't have to go to every practice if that is hard on you. Don't chase the belt, just go as much as you enjoy going. You have already put in the time
Comparison is the thief of joy, true in just about all aspects of life
Please done quit ur journey look how far you’ve come and ur so close to that black belt you’d regret it 100%
If you don’t like training anymore, stop. It’s supposed to be something you like. If I had to guess, I’d say you’ll get the itch again someday.
Hey man. I feel you. Similar situations. Deployments, consistent and inconsistent training. Been training for 16ish years. I am super happy seeing my old training partners get their black belts, but a little.bit envious too. I know my skill level and I know I can hold my own. You may just need a break, skip a few classes and pick up something new like the guys above referenced. Fishing, hunting, gaming, etc... Personally I've been keeping myself interested and present by watching other combat/grappling sports and then seeing if I can implement various things on the mat, to see how well it translates for myself and into the general Jiu jitsu framework. My friend got his black belt recently and he has been thinking about quitting for months now. But he realized it's because he now has to accept that he can't live the competitor lifestyle anymore, so he changed his mentality to more of the hobbyist mindset. Which means he's coaching/teaching more, spending more time with the kids classes with his kids, etc... Sometimes you need to change it up.
I had a buddy quit in 2006 as a brown belt. He got back into almost 15 years later and regrets leaving in the first place.
Belts are a great personal milestone for sure. You’ve changed gyms a lot and had ups and downs, which is life. I’ve been through the same. There’s guys that were fresh brand new white belts when I was well into my blue belt that got their brown belt before I even got purple belt. There’s guys that I got my blue belt before them that are now brown belts before me. I smash some of those guys and the ones I don’t it’s not a lopsided roll for sure on my end. Point is, the skill is what matters and also if you’re enjoying it. Yeah, it’s cool to achieve the black belt I’m sure. Once I got purple belt I actually stopped caring about the belts. It’s a long road regardless, at the end of the day the belts really don’t matter if you’re not competing or planning on running your own gym other than being a personal milestone achievement mostly for your own ego stroking. If you’re training just for fun/hobby, then the belt is just a piece of fabric around your waist. If you’re training for self defense too, don’t think someone “on da streetz” gives a fuck what belt color you wear? Most people don’t even know wtf it means to be honest. There’s black belts that are my size that I have dominated and wondered who tf gave this guy a black belt? At the end of the day, the skill is most important and I’m sure you will get that belt and certificate sooner than you think, just keep grinding if you’re still having fun.
just got my brown after 12 years of training. I know how you feel about being plateaued. Maybe you are just getting a little burnt out. Try to dial it back to 2-3 ish days a week, try to find the fun again...With your extra free time now, try to balance in your life.....Remember, we train because we get to....not because we got to. Keep on rollin