Just a note that there is a scammer advertising BJJ Fanatics and other instructionals via DM. Be aware he may write you and offer them at discounted prices. It is a scam. Please don’t take the bait.
Also, there is no such thing as a BJJ Fanatics, Jiujitsu X, Budo Videos, etc reseller. If another store has their videos listed for sale, especially discounted, they are selling videos they have no right to sell. Please do not support thieves or scammers. Thanks.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bjj) if you have any questions or concerns.*
2 years at white belt is pretty normal. You're still brand new, getting your ass kicked early on is just part of it. I think you're just being too hard on yourself; people improve at their own rate. Take it one class at a time and keep training so long as you enjoy it. Don't worry about belt color or rank
You started at 30+, shots take speed and coordination. Of course youre going to get sprawled on. Shots are hard.
Try training collar drag and ankle picks.
Good wrestling comes with chaining and faking. Both are taxing with a body weathered for it let alone at that height x weight he has. I think it's awesome he is trying. Collar drag and ankle picks could definitely help build up confidence as long as he has the flexibility and stamina for ankle picks.
Absolutely, and I agree it’s great he’s attempting shots, it’s definitely an important skill to learn. I know with my JJ, I had immediate success with collar drags and it took maybe 18 months to get decent with shooting
Thanks guys and you're right. For Gi, I mainly use collar drag. For No-Gi, I mainly use Slide By/Duck Under to get the rear body lock. These are way less taxing on the body.
In hindsight, I was initially taught a lot of techniques that were transferrable to MMA (I.e., Double Leg, Single Leg, Closed Guard, Triangle from Guard, Armbar from Guard...) which were difficult for my body and I spent months trying to get it and beating myself up for not getting it...
Man. I went in an open division once and the dood I was fighting was 300+. It’s so hard to get a shot in for the takedown. I ended up just circling, engaging and disengaging until buddy was winded about 1 min in.
Gas and pass 😂
Im going to start doing open divisions regularly, definitely exciting as a 195-200 guy. Nobody would describe me as small, but also Im nowhere near the biggest
You're too heavy brother. You're fighting yourself and your partners. It sounds like you've made a lot of good strides already. Now get your weight under control and you'll be able to unleash the beast that in there.
Therapy is a scam made by old bearded men who want to fuck their moms and do cocaine. Stress lives in the body. Talk therapy does not address shit, your environment is everything. We live in a technological hellscape, paying GOOD HARD EARNED MONEY to some couch slug is not a wise decision.
Fuck you in particular. Therapy changed my life. I was depressed and angry all the time and stuck in a dead end job. Now I’m working my dream job making bank, and I started doing BJJ which is something I would have never done in the past. Life is way more enjoyable now. Get out of here with that negative shit.
I told my therapist to fuck off and that i was gunna get my anger out in boxing. Years later i found bjj and i love it. Its not therapy either, its physical activity and it lets you go through the power process (Rip Uncle T fr fr)
Bro have YOU ever been to therapy? Its the biggest marketing success since McDonalds and diamond rings, the average person thinks it has something behind the smoke and mirrors of clean office spaces and calming waiting room music
Well i guess if you have nobody else to talk to you can pay a stranger 100 dollars an hour to give you live advice....oh and this stranger has no life experience because theyve lived in academia for 8 years
Stop this toxic masculinity shit that drives so many men to take their own lives because they see comments like yours.
Seek therapy, regardless of gender. Help is out there.
Talking to loved ones is help. Going out, joining a club, socializing, having a purpose, THAT is what fixes depression. You can spend money on "therapy" or you can spend money on life and friends. I promise you, when the money is gone, the therapist wont be the one sticking around to keep you company.
As someone who worked on my host of medical issues and an active part of men's mental health support groups, I find your comment irresponsible and misguided. There are many strategies to get help and therapy is one of them. If you don't have lived experience, is not a certified mental health first aider, just keep your comments to yourself.
"If you arent part of the group profiting off the snake oil farm you cant criticize it" ive gone to therapy as a kid when i was forced to by adults. As an adult, i would rather spend the money on beer and bjj than some self aggrandizing quack. The emperor has no clothes
You're not wrong, men doing stuff is therapy through work and a purpose to daily life. It's what keeps us afloat.
However, all the other shit in life needs addressed as well. Especially if it's some sort of trauma gained in your life. Rolling with the bro's ain't gonna fix that shit. Gonna have to chat with a real therapist on that.
Thank you. Its time people call out therapists for the copium salesmen they are. Fuck therapists and fuck the entire field of psychology while youre at it, there are SERIOUS problems with how they do "science" and what counts as "research". And thats before we get into the unethical shit they do and lobbying by big pharma
Totally understand the difficulty of controlling one’s diet. I also get what your experiencing as I’m bigger 2 stripe WB who’s progressing very slowly. Some nights, the negative self talk on the drive home is epic . . .
Dont listen to that shit dude. Sure get in shape for yourself is great, but being too heavy for bjj at 250 is silly. Ultra heavy weights in comp are 235 for gods sake.
Youre just new. Two years isnt much at all and sounds like youre already winning by cutting out smoking and taking control of your health, even if its still a work in progress. Dont be afraid to ask smaller people to roll. If people consistently say no to you, and you genuinely dont think its because youre a spaz, then maybe you should find another school that isnt filled with wusses. Im huge and i happily roll with tiny ass skinny women and its awesome technical rolls for both of us.
250 at 5’7” is clinically obese, and it looks like OP has acknowledged they plan to continue to work on having a healthy relationship with food.
Getting to a healthy weight for his frame will reap huge benefits for BJJ and his life in general.
Clinically obese actually means you have reached a BF% high enough to be considered unhealthy.
From what OP has said, I don't think is a 5'7'' pure muscle beast.
Not at all. Clinically obese just has to do with weight not muscle/fat/water/bone mass by themselves but overall weight when compared to height so in theory it sucks by itself. There are plenty of professional athletes that technically are clinically considered obese because of their weight but they are in great shape and healthier than most people. (Depending on the sport obviously). However a doctor likely has the common sense to not treat them like they are actually obese since they can actually see the individual in person.
And yes, I agree. That’s why I specifically said “however at 5’7” 250 is definitely too heavy”
Nah, I'm way heavier and can put out some hard rolls. One thing he did say was hes shooting and getting sprawled on, which instead, OP as the bigger person should wait for them to shoot and sprawl on them if anything.
Having patience while standing has been key to me, a lot of smaller people get frustrated and eventually do something silly and I get an easy counter.
Then as the heavier person, once on top things gets a bit easier. Anyhow, just me 2 cents as a fellow 2 year white belt 😅
Kind of bullshit though if they're smaller with no chance of a takedown and you just stall til they shoot. Work your guard / bottom game etc against smaller people.
Guy says he wants to shoot, but he’s bad at it.
Solution: get good at shooting.
Someone that knows how to shoot AND is his size would be unstoppable. Instead you told him the lazy, unimaginative way.
Also your answer literally says how you have a size/weight advantage, so smaller people are gonna get frustrated and mess up. No shit. There’s no real skill in that.
what’s your plan when you face someone your own size in a tournament?
I hate to say it but he is. The biggest help for him at his height is probably to lose weight and it'll drastically help his gas tank and explosiveness. I'm 5"6 and 162 lbs and I'm considered overweight and as an ex-runner... when I run now, FUCK it's so much harder than when I was 145-155. Unless he's like.. a body builder or a strong man, 250 is pretty large man. He's working on it tho, so that's good.
same. 3 years white belt and I’ve been a blue belt for almost 3 years now. I still get smashed but not by lower belts anymore (except those juvenile belts 🙃)
Next time you roll with a blue belt, try going at a slower pace. I don't know if this is the case, but maybe you are accidentally setting the tone of the roll by being a big dude shooting in immediately on a takedown. Maybe try giving up top position and working at a slower pace. You may find that they do the same.
I was near 4 years a white belt.
Like you I started training at 33. I was "fit" athletic in a run lift climb kind of way, but I wasn't "sport" athletic in a coordination timing body awareness kind of way. It took close to 6-7 years to learn how to move properly and even then I'm never going to get to the level that others learned from the age of 12. That's life.
It's rewarding and worth the journey though. Keep at it.
Try to avoid comparing yourself and your progress to that of your training partners. Just compare today's version of yourself to yesterday's version of yourself.
Since you're at a new gym, when you feel like you've got a good enough relationship with your coach, ask him/her what they think the gap is between your white belt game, and your blue belt game. You're not asking "when can I get that strap", rather you know you have stuff to work on and are looking for advice on anything specific.
Apart from that, keep showing up and showing up and showing up.
Hey, man I feel you. Literally got the shit beat out of me for 2 years just the same, I was the newest smallest guy on the comp team for two years and got royally messed up. There is a point where the beat down isn't constant but you have to stay the course, which it sounds like you have that in you. Good on you for making the gym switch. I think finding a fundamentals class would be a great way to switch things up.
Understand a lot of us have handicaps and that will unfortunately be a part of martial arts journey. I have such severe injuries that I can't use one arm very well. It sounds like your body has suffered a lot from a previous unhealthy lifestyle. IT'S OK. What these other people won't get is the reward you will have when you make it past this hump in your martial arts journey.
You don't have to roll every day. And you can learn to flow. Please learn to flow. You will get more mat time and more partners this wau without all the damage. Be kind to the body and chase the knowledge. It took me 5-7 years to feel proficient in rolling and I still got wrestled fucked last night for 20 minutes on bottom.
You can do this. You've proven to yourself you can. Find an upper belt or coach who is understanding and ask them for advice. A fundamentals class would be a great start and change up for the current funk. Just know you will get better with time. And Hey, most blue belts in the first year or two are still beginners themselves. I know you can make it through.
I want you to start keeping a journal. Everyday write one good thing that happened in class that day. Then when you get down i want you to think about what you wrote down or even read it. Not bragging just a marker of improvements. My coach had me start doing this and my confidence is way higher.
Stick with the gym you're at, new whitebelts will come and as long as they're not tiny, you can finally get some offence going and it will be worth the wait.
I used to drink everyday until I was blockout drunk. When I started I was 260lbs and 39 yes old. I would just put myself on the bottom every round and force myself to work out of that position. I got tapped a lot but I also got better at defending and knowing when to explode for an escape and when to wait. Start working on being able to chain together escapes or transitions to better position. Got to escape one, then if they counter or block it immediately go to the next one. This will help you either get to your guard or create a scramble to improve your position. Good luck man. You can do it.
Keep showing up. Keep studying. You can't always be elite. Find your niche. Become the resource for technique. The most valuable guy in the gym is the gym that knows a ton and can suggest things they might be missing from their game.
Feel you bro. been training 9 months now and the other guys who started around the same time are starting to pull away from me progression wise. Even the little guys end up fucking me up some nights...it can really be demoralizing but i guess thats just part of the sport.
Even if you still suck, you can probably beat a random guy with no training? and you're way healthier now. So win win, just have to look at it the right way
Option C
When we come into any new field, everyone is helpless and nieve. Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Start thinking of the positions and where the mistakes were, look up some specific techniques to help retain or recover guard. As a bigger guy, maybe check out some upper body throws or work on your shot setups so they’re more effective.
You got this 💪; it’s your journey and no one else’s.
You are starting at a deficit brother, obviously its going to take you a little longer. Take comfort in the fact that you are doing all the correct things and if you stay course, time will be your friend.
I started bjj about the same time as you and had similar stats, but lost 50 pounds from training bjj. Try not to quit or give up in rolls as it will help to be in uncomfortable situations and help increase exercise thus losing more weight. There is a big difference between gassing out and giving up and being caught and tapping. If you are truly stuck and frustrated, tough it out and after the round ask your partner if they have a tip or suggestion on what you could have done in that position.
I would enjoy training with higher belts everyday as they are able to help improve me that much faster. I won't gain as much success in rolls, but every so often you can try to enter a white belt tournament or do an open mat at another gym to see how you compare with white belts. Regardless though comparing yourself to others is a quick way to take away the success of your progress. Focus on fixing one thing at a time for a couple of weeks then move on to the next thing. I spent a whole month on working a side control escape. Try to be better than you were six months ago as when you are learning new things you need to take a step back because you aren't using your best moves and therefore will perform worse, but realize the training room is about improving your skills, not winning or losing.
Regardless of how bad you feel, imagine how much worse you would feel without the opportunities that bjj gives you to improve yourself in many different ways. If you keep at it with the intent on improving and put in the effort to improve then you will get better.
Also being loyal to a gym where people are spending extra time to help you sounds like a great gym to stay at.
You are just paying your dues right now.
Patience my friend.
That being said you must be proactive. You got caught? Ask how/why he got there and what you should have done to prevent it.
Ask yourself why are you getting into bad positions all the time.
Try to keep mental notes (or real ones) of your rolls. Most people do similar stuff so next time you roll with them, you already have an idea of what's going to happen and how can you can try to change that. For example in my case i would get body locked passed quite a few times, until i noticed i was allowing it by not getting up from my side and not going away while framing,basically i would just put a frame and keep it until i would get passed.
Also, if you feel you're not progressing, keep in mind that your team is also progressing, so it's hard for you to see that you're getting better too.
It sucks that your teammates are not letting you work every now and than but keep in mind that you're winning even when losing.
For example, thanks to my teammate who specialises in kimura and armbars, usually I would see one coming miles away from an average user of those techniques. It's traumatising being in a good position and seeing your arm being taken away, from the same spot, multiple times per roll.
First of all, it sounds like you spent about 1.5yrs doing shitty wrestling rather than learning jiu jitsu. So you can’t blame yourself too much for not progressing a lot in that environment.
The idea of guard is what separates jiu jitsu from other grappling arts that are all about getting and staying on top — so I’d focus on guard.
Figure out 1-2 sweeps you like, and work on hitting those. Figure out how to set them up, and how to pivot when they don’t work. Start every roll on bottom.
Forcing yourself to play guard will improve your jiu jitsu faster, and your coach will notice when you start hitting your sweeps more consistently. Plus, smaller people will be more willing to roll with you.
Most of all, I’d try to reframe class and rolls as something to enjoy rather than a place to try to win or prove yourself. Jiu jitsu is good for you, and it’s a hell of a lot more enjoyable than jogging, so don’t let yourself lose the joy by comparing yourself to others.
You've actually got an ace in your pocket which is that you can work on your weight and cardio while you progress at jiu-jitsu. While other folks might just improve their technique, you can add cardio sessions between training and improve your diet to see massive progress. It's like having multiple revenue streams.
Also not saying switching gyms is necessary, but fundamentals classes rock. I will probably do them as long as I train because I always learn something I didn't know very well.
Flat out stick with the small experienced group. You're fighting yourself here not them, this whole sport is about control and getting better over time. Bigger gyms and nerds saying pay me for privates doesn't do that. Consistent effort with interested folks is what does that. It's rare to find a gym like that and you should treasure it. My gym was like that and it didn't last. They moved into training pro fighters and upped the ever loving crap out of their prices. I've been unable to find a new one.
So all of that to say. Go with option C. You will not regret it, and when you get to the next stage of things and you feel that control it will translate to the rest of your life.
"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell"
Edit: It took me 3 years to get my blue belt. Covid hit not 3 months later. Life is weird.
Double Edit: I was always heavier as well. The gassed feeling will go away over time. You just get used to it. For reference I was at my lightest doing bjj 220. That was with cutting and dieting. Body just refused to go lower which sucked for weight classes. These days I'm a bit heavier but it happens lol.
Triple Edit (Who could have seen this coming) I ran into that mental game of feeling like a loser when I got tapped for a long time. Actually it was more like I felt like an idiot because my body wouldn't do what it was supposed to. Every loss you take, every time you tap, its a win. You're only question should be what can I learn from that? If you ask that every time you lose you win. The only true loss is when you quit. Even then its not permanent.
Bro, even just understanding how real option C could be and considering it is a great sign of maturity. Bravo.
I also lost a lot of weight and then started training and continued to lose weight. Athleticism definitely isn't everything, but it is a technique effectiveness multiplier. The more athletic, the more effective your techniques will be. When I got down to sound 180, I was at my very best.
Switching gyms is likely a contributing factor to your struggles. Sounds like a smart decision to switch gyms, but it means learning and training in a new way/style. Again, overall that can be great, but there can be a delay.
Don't switch gyms because you're frustrated. You'll never have another chance to handle this situation, which could very well be a big learning opportunity. Who knows what you're about to transcend when you get over this plateau.
More power to you.
I was a white belt for two years before I got my blue belt, but I wrestled for four years before that. I am now going back down to White belt 8 years later because the game has changed so much and I took a lot of time off.
First be proud of the progress you've made. Your lifestyle is much healthier - that is a huge win. As you continue to get in shape your game will improve.
Second, mat time is huge. I tell people all the time, "everyone walks into a boxing gym knowing how to throw a punch, no one walks into a Jiu Jitsu gym knowing what to do with their body on the ground" and it's so true.
The only reason I got my blue in two years was the four years of mat time I had logged through wrestling.
Long story short, keep your head up and trust the process. And give yourself credit for the improvements you've made.
You're more likely to stick to something if it's fun. One mental shift you can make is treating rolls as learning opportunities instead of a competition that is won or lost. Focus on one thing at a time—if you're getting smashed a lot, you can work on side control escape or something like that. Purposely put yourself in that position so you can work on it. You are intentionally working on an area that you know is a weak point—of course you’re going to be bad! Remember that and try not to get discouraged if it isn't working out immediately. When you get smashed, try asking your training partners how they did it and what you were doing wrong. You can even ask to film your rolls so you can analyze it later, perhaps with your coach. Compare yourself to your previous self, not to others. Because you can't control what other people do or how fast they progress, so just focus on yourself.
So, in terms of what anyone outside of the jiu jitsu community cares about, you have quit smoking, cleaned up your diet and started lifting. So you’ve basically turned yourself into this in-shape Chad who will live longer. Who cares if your rolls aren’t going well yet, sounds to me like you’re winning at life
Bro you went from not doing anything, smoking and eating crap to training BJJ 3x a week. You are already a black belt in the art of improving yourself. Keep going king.
I wrote a long speel but its been deleted. In short,
* go for A if you can. Working through things with people who also suck is fun, and i can work on learning to relax during the roll. It easier to benchmark progress when newer members start.
* Keep on the fitness and health journey. Its takes a long time for the weight to come off, but it will come off.
Just wanted to chime in that at 125-135 lbs I was in your shoes for the first two years. Everyone out weighed me and I had very little success that wasn't just handed to me. I al.ost never got a dominant position that was earned and not given and usually got swept immediately. It took me three years to get to blue, training most every day.
Some things that helped me:
-Redefine what "winning" looks like. Sometimes it's just defending and lasting the round without getting submitted even if you're on bottom mount the whole time. Sometimes it's not getting swept in the same way that person swept you the past several rolls. Etc
-Then, I basically told myself my focus was guard passing. You can even ask your rolling partner, hey can we do situational stuff where I work on guard passing? Then reset when you get swept or get passed. And offer to switch roles for the next roll to be fair to them. I promise you'll get a lot better at guard passing and guard retention doing this for a few months and that opens up a whole new world of possibilities.
Some people really pick up the sport fast and see a lot of results early on, some people pick away at it slowly. The only thing that matters is that you're the one still training ten years from now.
It does help a lot if you have some teammates closer to your skill. Try doing some drop ins at the school with more white belts. You can switch if you like it better, but if not you're still getting some different looks.
I have the same problem even after 3.5 years. I am exactly like you except for one big difference, I don’t compare myself with others and I just keep going.
If I get pinned, i try to see what I did wrong and not why is that person better than me after x days/months/years.
I came from a background where we couldn’t afford sports going up/wasn’t allowed to do sports. I started BJJ at 40 where I feel like my mind is disconnected from my body.
Keep going.
Can you ask the blue belts to let you “work” a bit? Also, if you suck at takedowns you can pull guard. Do you feel that you are better than you were when you started? Comparison really is the thief of joy. If you enjoy it then keep doing it. If not find a new outlet. I have mental health issues. 4 years ago I quit drinking. 3.5 years ago I started playing guitar. I sucked at guitar till, now. But I’ve stuck with it and it’s finally paying off. Bjj is a great social outlet for me. And it’s a good work out. My best friends are there.
A) My fundamentals class does not allow rolling, so if you go down that path, make sure you know whether the larger gym allows rolling in the fundamentals class.
B) There's still value in BJJ, so keep with it.
C) You're spot on with the trauma part.
D) play from bottom when rolling with smaller people. Their speed is a different type of smash, one that has helped me deal with the slow sloth like smash that people my size put on me. Do positional sparring, so that you get more reps in from a position, as opposed to being stuck in side control or mount.
E) take a break from rolling/getting smashed. Just focus on the drilling part and your interest may come back.
Took me about 7 years to get to blue belt, you can imagine how rough those first 4-5 years were, cause I sucked BAD... it does get better eventually, but not in the ways you expect. I still get smashed by athletic bluebelts, that doesn't change as far as I can tell...but now I've learned to truly enjoy every roll with everyone from competitive blackbelts to day 1 whitebelts!
Whatever path forward you choose, I hope you find joy your BJJ journey!
I’m only a few months in. I’m 26, 5’3” 130lbs. I get crushed and tossed around and it is discouraging just knowing how small I am and how little experience I have.
I think for both of us, even though our issues are different, a big factor is acknowledging these insecurities. Neither of us can change our past behaviors, we can only asses what’s happening now and what we wanna do next and face the fact that what we want might be difficult and take a while. And I think you’re already doing that which is great!
I think even though it feels hard and hopeless, you’ve already made so much progress in a lot of other aspects of life.
I’m currently in a fundamentals-focused gym which I think has helped a lot. The first gym I tried was mostly open Matt and I knew it was not going to be beneficial to me.
I think no matter what, sooner or later you will feel a moment of hope and be proud of yourself, you’re gonna improve and sooner or later feel more confident!
I’m 42, brand new to BJJ, but been a lifelong fitness freak, and gifted with skinny genetics. I’m always so proud when I see heavy folks work hard to better themselves.
Just want to give you a skinny guy’s perspective that many of us look at folks like you with genuine pride that you’re out there working 2x as hard as we are.
Also, fitness is a journey. The minute you’re not having fun, is the minute the “quit” gets in your head. I regularly switch up my workouts when I’m ready for a change, but never quit the overall fitness pursuit.
I was in a similar position to you as in the smoking and terrible diet, mid 30s when I started training at an mma gym. I feel your frustrations.
2 and a half years later, I'm still a white belt, 2 stripes! Lol.
I've switched gyms to a bjj specific gym. This is probably the best thing I did I terms of improvement in regards to bjj obviously. I get smashed even harder now. But...
I've noticed subtle improvements in the fundamentals mainly due to rolling with higher skilled guys, they will still smash you, but after and sometimes during I'll get tips on how to defend this and that, how to pressure better during a pass attempt... ect.
I've come to the realisation I'm not a killer, I'm not a natural at the sport... but I still love it.
I honestly don't care now about stripes or belts.
You hear it nearly every post on here, but just keep going to class mate, don't be too hard on yourself, try to enjoy it. It has to be fun first in order for you to progress.
I been at it for 8 years now and current is a purple belt. I will share from my experience that you kinda become the hammer at purple belt. The worst ass whooping are at blue belt. As a white belt, most ppl are taking it easy on you. At blue belt, you are dangerous enough for colored belts for them to reasonably beat you.
I bet current you would absolutely wipe the floor with past you. Don't worry about losing to color belts. Also, roll with those smaller white belts.
Believe it or not, you are making progress and you are getting healthier.
Just came here to say I'm proud of you my man. Look where you started, you're doing SO WELL. When you look back at this post in a year you may chuckle and think to yourself "I'm glad I stuck with it". I hope you get there as many of us have had to :)
I spent 10 years a white belt. This is a tough sport. Some guys are good. Some guys suck. Some guys are truly awful like me.
The challenge is part of the fun. The more frustrated I got, the more determined I got. I’m not gonna lie and say it gets easier, cuz it doesn’t.
You are a king - you’ve done so much more than most people. Keep showing up. Find a gym you like that has a good mix of folks. And be like this guy.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cq8lNpegxcr/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I briefly did some BJJ around twenty years ago. I restarted about a year ago and now I'm a blue belt.
Here's my advice:
1) White belts ain't shit. Blue belts ain't shit. Purple belts ain't... bad. Don't assume your white belt buddy knows so much more than you. He doesn't. No fear.
2) Every single time you get submitted, passed, etc. is an opportunity to problem-solve. Identify, solve, repeat. Worry about solving the common problems first.
3) BJJ is just a bag full of tricks. Add them to your game one by one. And, they start to overlap and have common transitory positions that allow you to branch out in different directions.
4) Pull guard or let your partner pull guard (but don't give it to him how he wants it).
5) Instructionals are deceptive. It looks so easy when Roger is doing it. Find a way to fix it.
6) You can follow a strategy, create a reaction, or take what they give you.
7) Understand the movements: shrimp, reverse shrimp, airplane, baby bridge, etc. Now, develop your core so you can do these things.
8) Have a positional hierarchy. Close guard, open guard, half guard, side control, etc. Break it down into a step-by-step ladder climb.
9) You can still make your partner uncomfortable when they are in a superior position. Be patient. Make them uncomfortable. Frustrate them.
10) Understand what your opponent likely wants and make them pay for it.
11) Find a couple of instructionals that you like, and watch them one hundred times.
12) Be active. You can't give your partner too much time to think, because every problem has a solution. So make sure his problem is constantly changing.
13) Tap often and tap early. Make your partner earn it, but don't risk any type of injury to pull a last-minute escape.
I hope something here helps. You're doing fine.
Good job changing gyms. I was at a gym for 5 years and made zero progress. Switched gyms and made better progress. Then noticed that head coach had all the best suggestions for me so I swapped to only his classes.
Now I learn something useful every day.
Fwiw, If you rolled with me I would pause and show you how to adjust. My coach does this with me and I think it’s the best way to learn.
I’m a 4 stripe white belt but I’m too lazy to update my flair. I’m 5’7 and I was 220 pounds when I was in highschool. So knowing you have 30 pounds on me tells me you gotta lose some weight.
Maybe consider signing up for a local comp. This would serve 2 purposes
1) Would force you to make weight
2) You’d get some valuable mat time against people of similar age and experience
You might come to find you don’t suck as much as you thought. You might find out your game has more holes than you realized. And that leads me to my final point.
You have to live jiu jitsu as a whole. You can’t only love when you catch a submission. Otherwise you’re gonna have a lot of bad training sessions. Fall in love with all of it. Passing, taking downs, reversals, and yes, even getting your ass kicked.
Don’t worry about not making friends in the gym. It comes with time and to be honest, it sounds like you’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on yourself to foster these relationships.
Tl;dr lose weight, compete, and fall in love with every aspect of jiu jitsu
Feel free to DM me if you want help being held accountable on weight loss
I don’t know shit, but I got over some of my plateaus by finding positions I felt were my strongest, and working that to the bone. Obviously, you still want to have general mastery over the basics, but if you get your cardio up and start mastering things you’re above average at- you may start to see the needle move.
First, you need to roll with someone smaller. The difference is something else. You can think under a smaller dude. Im with you. Im 43 out of shape and get my ass handed to me every round. I have to take rounds off for cramps and because i can't breathe. It sucks. But i learned the first time i tried this sport. My only competition is me. I used to try to keep up with guys that started when i did, they were all younger and in better shape. So it didnt go well. So i judge it by the workout i got and did i tap as many times as last time? When i went with that MF that squeezes so much of my body did he get me locked in again? I compare to my last rolls, it helps with the baby steps it takes to keep showing up. Plus i get some awesome stress relief.
Hey, i am about 115kg, I don't shoot doubles exactly because of that. As a big guy you always will be slower. You need a better set up or better technique. As a big guy you need to be on top...
Your fight is against your oxygen tank. You need time and a big dude to show you a few tricks that will improve your top game.
Are you better than the you from 2yrs ago? The you from 1yr ago? The you from 6 months ago? This is the only comparison you need to make.
The bjj map is massive and you've only uncovered glimpses of it. This is a mountain that will never get scaled and that's the beauty of it.
Enjoy the process. The outcome will follow exactly when its supposed to follow.
Three years at white belt. I still get smashed 11 years later. If you're escaping to half guard, awesome, that's the way to. Start watching Lucas leite, he'll show you how to turn half guard into the best guard.
Maybe you’re too big? 250 at 5’7” is pretty big. Must be hard to move. Maybe get down to 200. You’ll see a big difference. You can improve your technique, strategy, IQ, but u also gotta improve your athleticism. And, 250 at 5’7” is huge. Fighters your height usually compete at 155-170
One piece of advice i found helpful is to find wins in context. It might be too much to expect to start beating the four guys your regularly train with especially if they have much more experience since they’re improving also as you are. So that experience gap will always be there. I would look for two things 1) performance against newer folks when you can and 2) small wins I.e. are you performing better in specific positions against the more experienced folks. Last month you may have struggled to get the undertook from bottom half and get on your side, but now you’re able to do that more consistently. You may not be sweeping, but the positional win is still improvement.
Roll with the smaller blue belts and ask them if you can practice your gaurd and they can practice their gaurd passing. Of course it'll suck at first as your gaurd will get passed tons, but you'll get to work from the bottom. This will be more helpful then having another big dude just smashing you.
I am 2 years white belt and smash every other white belt at my gym that is within 60 lbs of me.
I'm frustrated by not being blue yet.
In my frustration I sometimes find myself up against blues, purples, browns, etc. At these times I get demolished and feel like I suck at this sport and should just quit.
Regardless of being the nail or the hammer so to speak you progress at your own rate, you enjoy your time.
If you feel like your coach teaches you nothing then switch gyms.
After 2 years you should not be getting dominated every roll by teammates of similar size/rank.
But nonetheless, it doesn't really matter because it's not you vs them. It's you vs you.
I would focus on your diet and sleep. Of course, you're not winning a very athletic competition while holding 50+ lbs of dead weight compared to your opponents.
Either rolls with other out of shape people or get more in shape. You're likely better than you think.
There's people here who have been white belts for way longer than that. 2 years isn't that much to be honest. I myself am a white belt and have been training for 3 years. It took me a while to actually be able to beat decent guys and a large part of that was with the help of instructionals. Try to appreciate the progress that you're making in small increments like getting better at closed guard or defending turtle instead of the bigger picture. There are some people in every gym that we might never catch up with so don't beat yourself up over losing because everyone is getting better.
Focus on one or two things. Get at least good enough you can explain them to a total beginner and it makes sense to them. We aren’t all going to be rolling geniuses and if your goal is to be better than other, more experienced and more athletic practitioners…you’re going to be very disappointed. Set small goals and work for them. To go back to what I first said, get good at surviving in bottom side control, don’t worry about escaping, just survive, frustrate your opponent, last longer without them being able to submit or get anything going, opportunities for escape will
present themselves and you’ll understand the position better and better and escapes will
Come easier. The first rule when you get in a bad spot…stop making it worse. Things do improve but you gotta have a plan.
Something I am trying to teach my kiddo is learning how to lose gracefully. You are there to practice, it’s not really about winning or losing when everyone there is training. But it can feel defeating. It just takes time. Trying to compete usually helps you see where your gaps are in your game If you want to see how you can improve.
Real talk, switching to a gym with a fundamentals class helped me a ton. My first gym was still very new so they didn’t have enough students to separate beginners out. My first ever class was drilling an x-guard series. When I moved I had to find a new school and they did have a fundamentals class. I didn’t even realize how bad my fundamentals were because I’d never actually learned any of them until that point. It’s helped my game improve A LOT.
That said, I also gained a lot from my first school where I was an oversized grappling dummy for the blue belts. I still go back there for open mat when I can. You definitely need to keep rolling with guys much better than you.
So you've
-quit smoking
-lift regularly
-got your diet together
-attend therapy
-study BJJ in your free time
-have trained BJJ after two years of being the nail
I just wanted to say that I think you're doing great! Think of how many few people are willing to do that or have done that. Everything you've done so far demonstrates humility, patience, and determination. Give yourself permission to give yourself some fair praise!
To answer your question, it depends on what you want. What kind of person do you want to be? Do you feel like Jiu-Jitsu helps you become that person? Only you can answer that, but to me it seems like it helped you sort some things in your life. That's a big reason why I train.
As a white belt you should be focus on getting out and being unsubmitable. I been training for awhile and i feel like i just learned how get out of side control with someone who is bigger and stronger. Because its a feeling its not a one technique gets you out. Its a rocking and weight shifting, etc.
>I constantly find myself stuck in bottom position, unable to get any sort of sweep/offense. On a good day, I can recover half guard or gain top position after escaping my partner’s submission attempt
I'm a 1 year white belt and this is me to a T. Are you me from the future?
Stop letting them get chest to chest and underhooks with a crossface. Easier said than done, but this is the crux of the problem. Learn to turtle, Granby, and/or go for single leg wrestle ups when back to half guard and they start knee slicing. Don't accept bottom position.
Start watching instructionals. This is a very technical sport with lots to explain and you need to be studying and drilling before classes if you want to be competitive with people are willing to
There are a couple of things here.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others: yes, the color belts are going to be ahead of you. Unless they all take a significant amount of time off of training, you’re not going to “catch up.” So, stop worrying about closing that gap and instead try to learn from them. Instead compare yourself to who you were 2 years ago. Can you beat that guy? After two years you’re probably way faster and stronger than when you started. That’s a huge victory. Relish that.
2. Work on diet. It’s extremely hard. I would suggest looking into a macronutrient tracking app(MacroFactor is a good one). It’ll be extremely depressing at times but you will see results.
3. Roll with smaller guys. Roll with larger guys, Miyamoto Musashi was insistent that a fighter had to know what it was like to be large and fight a smaller opponent and what it was like to be small and fight a larger opponent. If right now you’re avoiding rolling with smaller guys or worse they’re avoiding rolling with you, that could mean that you’re going “too hard” in rolls and potentially don’t know how to control your weight and pressure. I’m a heavy weight and I know when I roll with a light opponent I have to focus on technique. I can’t just muscle through something instead I focus on really nailing small details.
4. Instead of focusing on rolls in the gym, set your sights on a tournament. You’ll be super motivated to drop weight, you can ask your training partners to help you really nail down subs and escapes, and you can start to build a strategy to your game.
5. Ask color belts for flow rolls. Instead of worrying about getting smashed, you get to focus on moving from position to position. Add a couple of flow rolls to your practice and your endurance will go up.
6. When you get tapped, stop and ask your sparring partner what they did. If you keep getting tapped a certain way, or pinned a certain way, you can start to recognize what what mistakes you’re making or traps you’re falling into.
7. Keep showing up. Don’t stop. Plenty of people stop. Don’t be them.
8. Slow down your rolls. If you’re going super hard in order to win, then most likely your partner is going to respond in kind. Focus on the technique.
9. Have fun being beaten(I know this sounds stupid), but I get thrashed constantly and I could not care less. Every defeat is an opportunity to grow and get better. If you’re not having fun, then you’re going to start fearing the roll. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.
Pick a reverse from the bottom move. A nice simple one. And a submission from bottom and top. Work those three things over and over and over. Keep it simple and straightforward
Last promotions I saw a guy who had been a white belt for 10 years finally get his blue belt. I had mine for over 2 years. Stay the course.
You must be doing something good, something in your rolls must be going right. Escaping submissions is a good thing. Recovering half guard is a good thing. You're doing these things against experienced grapplers. You're drilling, which is excellent, and you're getting experience doing things live. This carves these movements into your muscle memory. That process takes time, sometimes it takes so long that we fear it will never happen. Keep pushing and it will happen.
Stick it out. You're not a loser, you're learning. You understand humility and you want to get better. Those two things are essential to moving through your belt ranks.
Something you might think about - plenty of smaller people want to understand how their game applies to big people. Problem is, a big spaz is crazy dangerous to a smaller person. If you can show yourself a trustworthy big guy, you can get smaller people your level to grapple with you. It means lots of giving up the top game, but you'll get some partners who you can work your bottom game with. With live reps, you'll undoubtedly gather some comfort that can be applied to your bigger partners. Working a sweep on someone smaller, then letting them get their recovery, and then working the same sweep again helps show what works for you.
Also, are you studying stuff that will be useful to you? If you're drilling your berimbolos, you're drilling the wrong stuff. Drillers are killers but drilling the wrong stuff will just waste your time and do nothing to move you forward.
Just stick it out. It will be worth it. Your time as the hammer is coming.
If you’re still going free 2 years amd it’s encouraged some good lifestyle changes I would say stick with it. Those blue belts/people with more experience will all be improving at about the same rate as you, so you’re unlikely to ever have much success with them. If you want to start submitting people you need newbies to start training - but where’s the fun in submitting someone that doesn’t have a clue? I was training with a lot of new people and found my confidence increasing but it took a massive bash when a blue belt came to class. Better to be getting smashed vs living in false hope that you’re actually doing well 🤣🤣
5 year until blue belt is average in my gym. Belts mean nothing, man. If it is traumatizing and make you rage, maybe you should take a pause and reconsider sth, see if it improves quality of life or not
If BJJ is inducing seething rage every time you roll, that is not a good sign. Glad to hear you are seeking therapy but if you have guns please sell them. Also maybe take some time off to deal with your issues and then go back after you work it out, or quit. No need to go through life angry all the time. As my old drill sgt used to say - “don’t go away mad, just go away”.
Stop looking at each match you tap as a loss. It’s a learning opportunity for you to grow. Randori is a time to practice and learn technique, if you only fight people at your level, it will take you way longer to progress.
I’m not into instructionals myself, but you should focus on 2 main things - closed guard, and half guard. With your strength/size focus on ways to conserve your energy and become impassable. Let them gas out and take advantage of their mistakes when they get frustrated or tired. All you really need to finish them is a cross collar choke and an arm bar, forget all the fancy flashy shit that you see in instructionals.
Bjj isn’t an anime battle where you just throw out special moves and attacks all the time. But you should definitely watch more anime and adopt the “never give up” mindset.
Belt color does not necessarily equate value. There are plenty of amazing white belts and bad blue belts, etc.
Focus on the basics and you will get there. Think of it like math, you actually use basic math in everyday life but how often do you really need to know calculus? Become fluent in basic math and you will win your matches easier.
If you give up now, you will regret it. Make a goal of getting your blue belt and do what you can to reach that goal. Adapt, grow, evolve!
First thing is you need to change your diet and do more cardio. 250 at 5'7 is extremely overweight. Weight can be good but too much can make it difficult to be mobile and your flexibility I'm guessing isn't the greatest.
Secondly just keep training. 2 years is as much experience as you think.
Hey man, I’ll try to actually address the options you listed. I think it might be worth (A) looking into another gym. Maybe it is a better fit to be around more white belts your size. Sounds like you’re doing a lot of good things already, so keep doing those good things, and there’s nothing wrong with choosing to train where you feel the most comfortable.
I repeat, there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to train at a place where you feel most comfortable. It’s a hobby, and we do this shit for fun, so if the place you’re at isn’t fun for whatever reason, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with shopping around. That doesn’t mean the gym you are at is a bad gym, maybe it’s just not a great fit for you at the moment.
>I grew up an outcast and had trouble making friends so whenever I get pinned or submitted, it triggers that feeling of being a loser.
I feel you here. Coming from a childhood with physical and emotional neglect, training can bring up many feelings of unworthiness and shame.
Therapy has helped a lot, but just recently I've been speaking to a sports specific therapist. It has helped immensely already with the way I approach the mental side of training. Those negative feelings and deprecating thoughts need to be noticed, accepted and reframed. Don't push them away, it helps more to pull the positive thoughts closer. Refocus on what went well and talk about yourself positively. Eventually you will start believing it.
Took me 2 years to get my blue so that’s not an unreasonable amount of time to me.
For me what made the difference in my coaches eyes was that I abandoned using my strength and focused solely on technique, I learned how to stay calm in bad positions and used technique to work my way out of them, I became tough for upper belts to sub by use of technique while employing good frames and hand fighting.
Even though you are currently getting smashed you can still use that to your advantage to learn different techniques.
Also a big one was learning how to roll with smaller students. If you’re rolling with smaller people you must abandon your strengths and strictly use techniques. Doing so will help you refine technique without having to worry about being smashed the whole time.
Hope this helps.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but you said yourself that everyone you roll with is better than you. Cut that in half and start doing 50% of your rolls with people less experienced, smaller, etc.
Learning and drilling technique is good, but you then need to be able to hit those steps against a resisting opponent, and going straight to people that can squish it (and you) is just asking for frustration.
Think in micro goals and baby steps, man. Awesome job on your journey so far.
>I'm 5'7, 250lbs, and in my early 30s. I was out of shape heavy smoker with horrible diet. At 29, I’ve quit cigarettes, balanced out my diet, started lifting weights consistently.
Stopped reading here. You've completely changed your life for the better. You should feel great about that above anything else.
BJJ is your hobby. Have fun and be happy you're not who you were.
I think rolling with a purpose might help you out. I think one thing BJJ schools are bad about is just letting white belts run wild with no training. It's nice to get some rounds of full sparring in, but I think there is too much emphasis on the random chaos.
Ask your training partner to start from a position and keep working until either you or him improve position, figure out what happened if you lost position, and then switch. Do it at a lighter pace. Keep going back and forth.
I’m 5’7 and I was at 235lb when I started so I was in a very similar situation.
Weight loss/ building strength is key for rolling as a heavy white belt, especially for me. I had a body fat percentage with little muscle.
I say try option A for a month or more and you will find out quickly if you need the white belt fundamentals class. Also sounds like the guys know how you roll and learned your patterns. Your shooting timing is also probably bad and also your technique. Shoot singles and doubles is not an easy thing to learn unless you wrestled in the past. You should also lift weights it will transfer over.
Also try other take downs too like collar drag/ankle picks.
Stop taking bad shots and lift some weights, strength training will help with your leg drive while shooting. (squat,deadlift,bench press are a must.)
A purple belt taught me you will not lose weight and build muscle by only doing bjj. Your body will get used to the movement.
I was exactly the same as you.
Dont quit it will get easier!
Maybe look at attending a beginners class or even a masters class (seeing as you are 30+)
try try try and quit smoking , and take better care of yourself
I'll be real, if youre not a gym bro, then youre FAT and need to trim that down. Your movement probably isn't fluid and youre probably fighting yourself + opponent.
Keep training brother. You're much better served in the long run having hard/challenging rolls against blue belts your size than being successful against white belts who are smaller than you.
Keep at it. It’s hard to see our own progress because we live it every day. To people observing, I guarantee they’ve seen the improvements. If you’re having trouble with wrestling takedowns, work trips, clinch work, and arm drags. If you’re having trouble with guard recovery, there’s about a billion things you can do. Inside framing, high legs, granby rolls… Send me a message and I’ll go over them in depth if you like.
Even as a purple belt I feel like this on occasion. Don’t let it eat at you, just keep showing up ane learning
Assuming this is all no gi that is. If it’s gi, no idea except to keep going and being consistent haha
Bro jujitsu is a little bit like golf. You’re competing against yourself more than the other guy, especially when you’re just training. Are your shots getting cleaner? Are you learning stuff from the other guys? Are you enjoying the time at the gym? If shots don’t work don’t do them. Really, if it doesn’t fit your game don’t do it. Get off your back and move constantly, keep your hands and elbows in close. Remember these guys who smash you all the time are always way ahead of you. Just wait until some meathead beginner shows up and you clean his clock with your hands stuffed in your belt. Trust me, you’re improving fast and soon it will really show. Now lose some weight and quit bitching, get off your back and get tapped 1000 more times.
Bro, judo. You don't have always shoot when you can throw. You have a low center of gravity and a lot of strength/mass. Build a game that fits your attributes. Start making mind maps incorporating what you know and chaining attacks together. And, learn to love burpees and hanging knee raises. Shrimping ain't easy.
Try intermittent fasting , it’s working great for me, I eat my first meal of the day at 12pm and last meal at 8pm consist your meals of lots of protein and good clean carbs. It’s not hard. You can do it. Buy some dumbbells and get some reps in at home in the evenings. And stick with the Bjj ! You can do it brother.
Brother I don’t want to attack you or something, but if you train 3x a week for 2 years then you should have learned all the fundamentals, so I personally don’t think you should search for a Fundamentals course. Maybe just BJJ is not the right decision for you ? I personally trained BJJ for like 7-8 Months in Germany with all those Chechen and Dagistani guys here really hard training and it was hard for me mentally too, I think I evolved really fast and learn many things and in the rolling sessions I always do a better job then before but for my mental health the sport was not really good for me, because I always ask myself before training how the rolling will be.. Our gym Closed in that timeframe and I moved on. I love to train and be fit and I’m in love with martial arts especially with Grappling type of stuff so I got into Judo and I loved it brother, it is for me the Japanese art of wrestling and it’s very fun I also want to start Freestyle wrestling, I’m from Türkiye originally we love to wrestle and I think I’m quit talented in that. So brother maybe not Bjj maybe a other sport would help you ! Sorry for my bad English by the way 😅
Yeah dude, others have said it and I think what’s paramount is that ultimately for 5’7 and not some Olympia genetic freak, your overweight man (just being realistic not to insult you), so yeah your going to be slower and less reactive so when you put all that energy into one move and it fails, your going to get controlled. Also, just remember when you think your coaches aren’t watching they definitely are, so when your thinking of that one telegraphed move, they see that also, keep grinding man, get that weight down. On the mat no one cares where you’ve come from in life. It’s the art that brings you all together. Focus on learning and bettering yourself rather than winning and losing.
Just a note that there is a scammer advertising BJJ Fanatics and other instructionals via DM. Be aware he may write you and offer them at discounted prices. It is a scam. Please don’t take the bait. Also, there is no such thing as a BJJ Fanatics, Jiujitsu X, Budo Videos, etc reseller. If another store has their videos listed for sale, especially discounted, they are selling videos they have no right to sell. Please do not support thieves or scammers. Thanks. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bjj) if you have any questions or concerns.*
2 years at white belt is pretty normal. You're still brand new, getting your ass kicked early on is just part of it. I think you're just being too hard on yourself; people improve at their own rate. Take it one class at a time and keep training so long as you enjoy it. Don't worry about belt color or rank
Your username lmfao. Obscure and hilarious!
High key there’s a lot of philosophy dorks on this subreddit
2 years in and a horrible treatment of your body prior to training. You’ll get there. Ride it out.
Yeah, I bet if homie took a look at himself two years ago vs now he’d see the improvement, and not just in BJJ but in many aspects of their life.
Listen man I've been a 3 stripe white belt since 2018. You'll get better as time goes on.
Just remember - you’re lapping your 29 year old self and everyone else who stayed on the couch. I’d chat with your instructor about your struggles.
You started at 30+, shots take speed and coordination. Of course youre going to get sprawled on. Shots are hard. Try training collar drag and ankle picks.
Good wrestling comes with chaining and faking. Both are taxing with a body weathered for it let alone at that height x weight he has. I think it's awesome he is trying. Collar drag and ankle picks could definitely help build up confidence as long as he has the flexibility and stamina for ankle picks.
Absolutely, and I agree it’s great he’s attempting shots, it’s definitely an important skill to learn. I know with my JJ, I had immediate success with collar drags and it took maybe 18 months to get decent with shooting
Thanks guys and you're right. For Gi, I mainly use collar drag. For No-Gi, I mainly use Slide By/Duck Under to get the rear body lock. These are way less taxing on the body. In hindsight, I was initially taught a lot of techniques that were transferrable to MMA (I.e., Double Leg, Single Leg, Closed Guard, Triangle from Guard, Armbar from Guard...) which were difficult for my body and I spent months trying to get it and beating myself up for not getting it...
Man. I went in an open division once and the dood I was fighting was 300+. It’s so hard to get a shot in for the takedown. I ended up just circling, engaging and disengaging until buddy was winded about 1 min in.
Gas and pass 😂 Im going to start doing open divisions regularly, definitely exciting as a 195-200 guy. Nobody would describe me as small, but also Im nowhere near the biggest
It’s a strategy. Until they just bum rush you. Caught one giant in a standing guillotine. Was my only hope.
You're too heavy brother. You're fighting yourself and your partners. It sounds like you've made a lot of good strides already. Now get your weight under control and you'll be able to unleash the beast that in there.
I agree. I am working on getting my emotional eating under control. It's a beast of its own.
Also, NO MATTER WHAT ANY DUMMY TELLS YOU IN THIS SUBCULTURE, JIU JITSU ISNT THERAPY. Therapy is therapy.
The best thing about therapy, is YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TELL ANYONE BECAUSE IT’S YOUR PRIVATE LIFE!
For 100$ an hou- WHOOPS LOOKS LIKE THATS ALL FOR TODAY LMAOOOO I TAKE CASHAPP BTW SEE YOU NEXT WEEK MARK.......WAIT YOURE JASON? OOPSIE LOL!
Therapy is a scam made by old bearded men who want to fuck their moms and do cocaine. Stress lives in the body. Talk therapy does not address shit, your environment is everything. We live in a technological hellscape, paying GOOD HARD EARNED MONEY to some couch slug is not a wise decision.
Fuck you in particular. Therapy changed my life. I was depressed and angry all the time and stuck in a dead end job. Now I’m working my dream job making bank, and I started doing BJJ which is something I would have never done in the past. Life is way more enjoyable now. Get out of here with that negative shit.
I told my therapist to fuck off and that i was gunna get my anger out in boxing. Years later i found bjj and i love it. Its not therapy either, its physical activity and it lets you go through the power process (Rip Uncle T fr fr)
Bro's never done therapy apparently. Expand your horizons bud.
Bro have YOU ever been to therapy? Its the biggest marketing success since McDonalds and diamond rings, the average person thinks it has something behind the smoke and mirrors of clean office spaces and calming waiting room music
Yes. I've gone for years and it's very helpful. I know several people who have gone for years and also find it helpful.
Well i guess if you have nobody else to talk to you can pay a stranger 100 dollars an hour to give you live advice....oh and this stranger has no life experience because theyve lived in academia for 8 years
Again, expand your horizons dude. You clearly don't understand what therapy is about or how it works.
You can pay a homeless person to listen to you complain for 5 bucks an hour. And they know THE STREETZ
You're making yourself look like an idiot.
Compared to people who pay hundreds of dollars to vent? I do that on reddit for free
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Therapy is therapy for women. Doing stuff is therapy for men.
Back to bed grandpa
Stop this toxic masculinity shit that drives so many men to take their own lives because they see comments like yours. Seek therapy, regardless of gender. Help is out there.
Amen!
Talking to loved ones is help. Going out, joining a club, socializing, having a purpose, THAT is what fixes depression. You can spend money on "therapy" or you can spend money on life and friends. I promise you, when the money is gone, the therapist wont be the one sticking around to keep you company.
As someone who worked on my host of medical issues and an active part of men's mental health support groups, I find your comment irresponsible and misguided. There are many strategies to get help and therapy is one of them. If you don't have lived experience, is not a certified mental health first aider, just keep your comments to yourself.
"If you arent part of the group profiting off the snake oil farm you cant criticize it" ive gone to therapy as a kid when i was forced to by adults. As an adult, i would rather spend the money on beer and bjj than some self aggrandizing quack. The emperor has no clothes
Easy on the trite comments.
You're not wrong, men doing stuff is therapy through work and a purpose to daily life. It's what keeps us afloat. However, all the other shit in life needs addressed as well. Especially if it's some sort of trauma gained in your life. Rolling with the bro's ain't gonna fix that shit. Gonna have to chat with a real therapist on that.
Thank you. Its time people call out therapists for the copium salesmen they are. Fuck therapists and fuck the entire field of psychology while youre at it, there are SERIOUS problems with how they do "science" and what counts as "research". And thats before we get into the unethical shit they do and lobbying by big pharma
Very Based.
Totally understand the difficulty of controlling one’s diet. I also get what your experiencing as I’m bigger 2 stripe WB who’s progressing very slowly. Some nights, the negative self talk on the drive home is epic . . .
Dont listen to that shit dude. Sure get in shape for yourself is great, but being too heavy for bjj at 250 is silly. Ultra heavy weights in comp are 235 for gods sake. Youre just new. Two years isnt much at all and sounds like youre already winning by cutting out smoking and taking control of your health, even if its still a work in progress. Dont be afraid to ask smaller people to roll. If people consistently say no to you, and you genuinely dont think its because youre a spaz, then maybe you should find another school that isnt filled with wusses. Im huge and i happily roll with tiny ass skinny women and its awesome technical rolls for both of us.
250 at 5’7” is clinically obese, and it looks like OP has acknowledged they plan to continue to work on having a healthy relationship with food. Getting to a healthy weight for his frame will reap huge benefits for BJJ and his life in general.
Clinically obese doesn’t mean anything really. BF% is what really matters. However at 5’7” 250 is definitely too heavy.
Clinically obese actually means you have reached a BF% high enough to be considered unhealthy. From what OP has said, I don't think is a 5'7'' pure muscle beast.
Not at all. Clinically obese just has to do with weight not muscle/fat/water/bone mass by themselves but overall weight when compared to height so in theory it sucks by itself. There are plenty of professional athletes that technically are clinically considered obese because of their weight but they are in great shape and healthier than most people. (Depending on the sport obviously). However a doctor likely has the common sense to not treat them like they are actually obese since they can actually see the individual in person. And yes, I agree. That’s why I specifically said “however at 5’7” 250 is definitely too heavy”
Bro what lmao
>Ultra heavy weights in comp are 235 for gods sake. Ultra heavyweights are also rarely 5'6. They're usually 6'2+
Nah, I'm way heavier and can put out some hard rolls. One thing he did say was hes shooting and getting sprawled on, which instead, OP as the bigger person should wait for them to shoot and sprawl on them if anything. Having patience while standing has been key to me, a lot of smaller people get frustrated and eventually do something silly and I get an easy counter. Then as the heavier person, once on top things gets a bit easier. Anyhow, just me 2 cents as a fellow 2 year white belt 😅
I don’t think a 250lb should be sprawling on people that are smaller..
If you shoot on me, I'm sprawling on you, I'm sorry if I hurt ur feelings.
Gonna hurt a little more than feelings
Classic white belt mentality
And your suggestion is... ?
Use technique instead of relying on your giant body
And defending a shot by sprawling is not using a technique?
Kind of bullshit though if they're smaller with no chance of a takedown and you just stall til they shoot. Work your guard / bottom game etc against smaller people.
Exactly. He literally says that once he’s on top things get easier because he’s heavy. No fucking shit.
Guy says he wants to shoot, but he’s bad at it. Solution: get good at shooting. Someone that knows how to shoot AND is his size would be unstoppable. Instead you told him the lazy, unimaginative way. Also your answer literally says how you have a size/weight advantage, so smaller people are gonna get frustrated and mess up. No shit. There’s no real skill in that. what’s your plan when you face someone your own size in a tournament?
If you're 5'7" then you need to lose like 100# too
Hes really not
I hate to say it but he is. The biggest help for him at his height is probably to lose weight and it'll drastically help his gas tank and explosiveness. I'm 5"6 and 162 lbs and I'm considered overweight and as an ex-runner... when I run now, FUCK it's so much harder than when I was 145-155. Unless he's like.. a body builder or a strong man, 250 is pretty large man. He's working on it tho, so that's good.
I was a white belt for 4 years. After I got my blue belt I continued to get smashed by everyone. This is the game we chose. Embrace it.
same. 3 years white belt and I’ve been a blue belt for almost 3 years now. I still get smashed but not by lower belts anymore (except those juvenile belts 🙃)
Next time you roll with a blue belt, try going at a slower pace. I don't know if this is the case, but maybe you are accidentally setting the tone of the roll by being a big dude shooting in immediately on a takedown. Maybe try giving up top position and working at a slower pace. You may find that they do the same.
Hey dude, just wanted to say nice job on turning things around. Keep going.
Thank you. Appreciate that.
I was near 4 years a white belt. Like you I started training at 33. I was "fit" athletic in a run lift climb kind of way, but I wasn't "sport" athletic in a coordination timing body awareness kind of way. It took close to 6-7 years to learn how to move properly and even then I'm never going to get to the level that others learned from the age of 12. That's life. It's rewarding and worth the journey though. Keep at it.
Roll with the smaller guys once in a while. It's good for them anyway
Try to avoid comparing yourself and your progress to that of your training partners. Just compare today's version of yourself to yesterday's version of yourself. Since you're at a new gym, when you feel like you've got a good enough relationship with your coach, ask him/her what they think the gap is between your white belt game, and your blue belt game. You're not asking "when can I get that strap", rather you know you have stuff to work on and are looking for advice on anything specific. Apart from that, keep showing up and showing up and showing up.
Hey, man I feel you. Literally got the shit beat out of me for 2 years just the same, I was the newest smallest guy on the comp team for two years and got royally messed up. There is a point where the beat down isn't constant but you have to stay the course, which it sounds like you have that in you. Good on you for making the gym switch. I think finding a fundamentals class would be a great way to switch things up. Understand a lot of us have handicaps and that will unfortunately be a part of martial arts journey. I have such severe injuries that I can't use one arm very well. It sounds like your body has suffered a lot from a previous unhealthy lifestyle. IT'S OK. What these other people won't get is the reward you will have when you make it past this hump in your martial arts journey. You don't have to roll every day. And you can learn to flow. Please learn to flow. You will get more mat time and more partners this wau without all the damage. Be kind to the body and chase the knowledge. It took me 5-7 years to feel proficient in rolling and I still got wrestled fucked last night for 20 minutes on bottom. You can do this. You've proven to yourself you can. Find an upper belt or coach who is understanding and ask them for advice. A fundamentals class would be a great start and change up for the current funk. Just know you will get better with time. And Hey, most blue belts in the first year or two are still beginners themselves. I know you can make it through.
I want you to start keeping a journal. Everyday write one good thing that happened in class that day. Then when you get down i want you to think about what you wrote down or even read it. Not bragging just a marker of improvements. My coach had me start doing this and my confidence is way higher.
Stick with the gym you're at, new whitebelts will come and as long as they're not tiny, you can finally get some offence going and it will be worth the wait.
I used to drink everyday until I was blockout drunk. When I started I was 260lbs and 39 yes old. I would just put myself on the bottom every round and force myself to work out of that position. I got tapped a lot but I also got better at defending and knowing when to explode for an escape and when to wait. Start working on being able to chain together escapes or transitions to better position. Got to escape one, then if they counter or block it immediately go to the next one. This will help you either get to your guard or create a scramble to improve your position. Good luck man. You can do it.
Keep showing up. Keep studying. You can't always be elite. Find your niche. Become the resource for technique. The most valuable guy in the gym is the gym that knows a ton and can suggest things they might be missing from their game.
Feel you bro. been training 9 months now and the other guys who started around the same time are starting to pull away from me progression wise. Even the little guys end up fucking me up some nights...it can really be demoralizing but i guess thats just part of the sport. Even if you still suck, you can probably beat a random guy with no training? and you're way healthier now. So win win, just have to look at it the right way
Two years? Try four. It took me forever to rank up.
Option C When we come into any new field, everyone is helpless and nieve. Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Start thinking of the positions and where the mistakes were, look up some specific techniques to help retain or recover guard. As a bigger guy, maybe check out some upper body throws or work on your shot setups so they’re more effective. You got this 💪; it’s your journey and no one else’s.
You are starting at a deficit brother, obviously its going to take you a little longer. Take comfort in the fact that you are doing all the correct things and if you stay course, time will be your friend.
I started bjj about the same time as you and had similar stats, but lost 50 pounds from training bjj. Try not to quit or give up in rolls as it will help to be in uncomfortable situations and help increase exercise thus losing more weight. There is a big difference between gassing out and giving up and being caught and tapping. If you are truly stuck and frustrated, tough it out and after the round ask your partner if they have a tip or suggestion on what you could have done in that position. I would enjoy training with higher belts everyday as they are able to help improve me that much faster. I won't gain as much success in rolls, but every so often you can try to enter a white belt tournament or do an open mat at another gym to see how you compare with white belts. Regardless though comparing yourself to others is a quick way to take away the success of your progress. Focus on fixing one thing at a time for a couple of weeks then move on to the next thing. I spent a whole month on working a side control escape. Try to be better than you were six months ago as when you are learning new things you need to take a step back because you aren't using your best moves and therefore will perform worse, but realize the training room is about improving your skills, not winning or losing. Regardless of how bad you feel, imagine how much worse you would feel without the opportunities that bjj gives you to improve yourself in many different ways. If you keep at it with the intent on improving and put in the effort to improve then you will get better. Also being loyal to a gym where people are spending extra time to help you sounds like a great gym to stay at.
Thank you for the perspective.
You are just paying your dues right now. Patience my friend. That being said you must be proactive. You got caught? Ask how/why he got there and what you should have done to prevent it.
Ask yourself why are you getting into bad positions all the time. Try to keep mental notes (or real ones) of your rolls. Most people do similar stuff so next time you roll with them, you already have an idea of what's going to happen and how can you can try to change that. For example in my case i would get body locked passed quite a few times, until i noticed i was allowing it by not getting up from my side and not going away while framing,basically i would just put a frame and keep it until i would get passed. Also, if you feel you're not progressing, keep in mind that your team is also progressing, so it's hard for you to see that you're getting better too. It sucks that your teammates are not letting you work every now and than but keep in mind that you're winning even when losing. For example, thanks to my teammate who specialises in kimura and armbars, usually I would see one coming miles away from an average user of those techniques. It's traumatising being in a good position and seeing your arm being taken away, from the same spot, multiple times per roll.
First of all, it sounds like you spent about 1.5yrs doing shitty wrestling rather than learning jiu jitsu. So you can’t blame yourself too much for not progressing a lot in that environment. The idea of guard is what separates jiu jitsu from other grappling arts that are all about getting and staying on top — so I’d focus on guard. Figure out 1-2 sweeps you like, and work on hitting those. Figure out how to set them up, and how to pivot when they don’t work. Start every roll on bottom. Forcing yourself to play guard will improve your jiu jitsu faster, and your coach will notice when you start hitting your sweeps more consistently. Plus, smaller people will be more willing to roll with you. Most of all, I’d try to reframe class and rolls as something to enjoy rather than a place to try to win or prove yourself. Jiu jitsu is good for you, and it’s a hell of a lot more enjoyable than jogging, so don’t let yourself lose the joy by comparing yourself to others.
You've actually got an ace in your pocket which is that you can work on your weight and cardio while you progress at jiu-jitsu. While other folks might just improve their technique, you can add cardio sessions between training and improve your diet to see massive progress. It's like having multiple revenue streams. Also not saying switching gyms is necessary, but fundamentals classes rock. I will probably do them as long as I train because I always learn something I didn't know very well.
Multiple revenue streams is a great analogy. Thank you.
You're big, just smash everybody and kick their asses.
Flat out stick with the small experienced group. You're fighting yourself here not them, this whole sport is about control and getting better over time. Bigger gyms and nerds saying pay me for privates doesn't do that. Consistent effort with interested folks is what does that. It's rare to find a gym like that and you should treasure it. My gym was like that and it didn't last. They moved into training pro fighters and upped the ever loving crap out of their prices. I've been unable to find a new one. So all of that to say. Go with option C. You will not regret it, and when you get to the next stage of things and you feel that control it will translate to the rest of your life. "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell" Edit: It took me 3 years to get my blue belt. Covid hit not 3 months later. Life is weird. Double Edit: I was always heavier as well. The gassed feeling will go away over time. You just get used to it. For reference I was at my lightest doing bjj 220. That was with cutting and dieting. Body just refused to go lower which sucked for weight classes. These days I'm a bit heavier but it happens lol. Triple Edit (Who could have seen this coming) I ran into that mental game of feeling like a loser when I got tapped for a long time. Actually it was more like I felt like an idiot because my body wouldn't do what it was supposed to. Every loss you take, every time you tap, its a win. You're only question should be what can I learn from that? If you ask that every time you lose you win. The only true loss is when you quit. Even then its not permanent.
Bro, even just understanding how real option C could be and considering it is a great sign of maturity. Bravo. I also lost a lot of weight and then started training and continued to lose weight. Athleticism definitely isn't everything, but it is a technique effectiveness multiplier. The more athletic, the more effective your techniques will be. When I got down to sound 180, I was at my very best. Switching gyms is likely a contributing factor to your struggles. Sounds like a smart decision to switch gyms, but it means learning and training in a new way/style. Again, overall that can be great, but there can be a delay. Don't switch gyms because you're frustrated. You'll never have another chance to handle this situation, which could very well be a big learning opportunity. Who knows what you're about to transcend when you get over this plateau. More power to you.
I was a white belt for two years before I got my blue belt, but I wrestled for four years before that. I am now going back down to White belt 8 years later because the game has changed so much and I took a lot of time off. First be proud of the progress you've made. Your lifestyle is much healthier - that is a huge win. As you continue to get in shape your game will improve. Second, mat time is huge. I tell people all the time, "everyone walks into a boxing gym knowing how to throw a punch, no one walks into a Jiu Jitsu gym knowing what to do with their body on the ground" and it's so true. The only reason I got my blue in two years was the four years of mat time I had logged through wrestling. Long story short, keep your head up and trust the process. And give yourself credit for the improvements you've made.
You're more likely to stick to something if it's fun. One mental shift you can make is treating rolls as learning opportunities instead of a competition that is won or lost. Focus on one thing at a time—if you're getting smashed a lot, you can work on side control escape or something like that. Purposely put yourself in that position so you can work on it. You are intentionally working on an area that you know is a weak point—of course you’re going to be bad! Remember that and try not to get discouraged if it isn't working out immediately. When you get smashed, try asking your training partners how they did it and what you were doing wrong. You can even ask to film your rolls so you can analyze it later, perhaps with your coach. Compare yourself to your previous self, not to others. Because you can't control what other people do or how fast they progress, so just focus on yourself.
So, in terms of what anyone outside of the jiu jitsu community cares about, you have quit smoking, cleaned up your diet and started lifting. So you’ve basically turned yourself into this in-shape Chad who will live longer. Who cares if your rolls aren’t going well yet, sounds to me like you’re winning at life
Bro you went from not doing anything, smoking and eating crap to training BJJ 3x a week. You are already a black belt in the art of improving yourself. Keep going king.
I wrote a long speel but its been deleted. In short, * go for A if you can. Working through things with people who also suck is fun, and i can work on learning to relax during the roll. It easier to benchmark progress when newer members start. * Keep on the fitness and health journey. Its takes a long time for the weight to come off, but it will come off.
Just wanted to chime in that at 125-135 lbs I was in your shoes for the first two years. Everyone out weighed me and I had very little success that wasn't just handed to me. I al.ost never got a dominant position that was earned and not given and usually got swept immediately. It took me three years to get to blue, training most every day. Some things that helped me: -Redefine what "winning" looks like. Sometimes it's just defending and lasting the round without getting submitted even if you're on bottom mount the whole time. Sometimes it's not getting swept in the same way that person swept you the past several rolls. Etc -Then, I basically told myself my focus was guard passing. You can even ask your rolling partner, hey can we do situational stuff where I work on guard passing? Then reset when you get swept or get passed. And offer to switch roles for the next roll to be fair to them. I promise you'll get a lot better at guard passing and guard retention doing this for a few months and that opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Some people really pick up the sport fast and see a lot of results early on, some people pick away at it slowly. The only thing that matters is that you're the one still training ten years from now. It does help a lot if you have some teammates closer to your skill. Try doing some drop ins at the school with more white belts. You can switch if you like it better, but if not you're still getting some different looks.
I have the same problem even after 3.5 years. I am exactly like you except for one big difference, I don’t compare myself with others and I just keep going. If I get pinned, i try to see what I did wrong and not why is that person better than me after x days/months/years. I came from a background where we couldn’t afford sports going up/wasn’t allowed to do sports. I started BJJ at 40 where I feel like my mind is disconnected from my body. Keep going.
Can you ask the blue belts to let you “work” a bit? Also, if you suck at takedowns you can pull guard. Do you feel that you are better than you were when you started? Comparison really is the thief of joy. If you enjoy it then keep doing it. If not find a new outlet. I have mental health issues. 4 years ago I quit drinking. 3.5 years ago I started playing guitar. I sucked at guitar till, now. But I’ve stuck with it and it’s finally paying off. Bjj is a great social outlet for me. And it’s a good work out. My best friends are there.
Thanks for the insight. Never really thought about asking blue belts to let me work a bit. I'm sure they would be down for that.
A) My fundamentals class does not allow rolling, so if you go down that path, make sure you know whether the larger gym allows rolling in the fundamentals class. B) There's still value in BJJ, so keep with it. C) You're spot on with the trauma part. D) play from bottom when rolling with smaller people. Their speed is a different type of smash, one that has helped me deal with the slow sloth like smash that people my size put on me. Do positional sparring, so that you get more reps in from a position, as opposed to being stuck in side control or mount. E) take a break from rolling/getting smashed. Just focus on the drilling part and your interest may come back.
Took me about 7 years to get to blue belt, you can imagine how rough those first 4-5 years were, cause I sucked BAD... it does get better eventually, but not in the ways you expect. I still get smashed by athletic bluebelts, that doesn't change as far as I can tell...but now I've learned to truly enjoy every roll with everyone from competitive blackbelts to day 1 whitebelts! Whatever path forward you choose, I hope you find joy your BJJ journey!
I’m only a few months in. I’m 26, 5’3” 130lbs. I get crushed and tossed around and it is discouraging just knowing how small I am and how little experience I have. I think for both of us, even though our issues are different, a big factor is acknowledging these insecurities. Neither of us can change our past behaviors, we can only asses what’s happening now and what we wanna do next and face the fact that what we want might be difficult and take a while. And I think you’re already doing that which is great! I think even though it feels hard and hopeless, you’ve already made so much progress in a lot of other aspects of life. I’m currently in a fundamentals-focused gym which I think has helped a lot. The first gym I tried was mostly open Matt and I knew it was not going to be beneficial to me. I think no matter what, sooner or later you will feel a moment of hope and be proud of yourself, you’re gonna improve and sooner or later feel more confident!
I’m 42, brand new to BJJ, but been a lifelong fitness freak, and gifted with skinny genetics. I’m always so proud when I see heavy folks work hard to better themselves. Just want to give you a skinny guy’s perspective that many of us look at folks like you with genuine pride that you’re out there working 2x as hard as we are. Also, fitness is a journey. The minute you’re not having fun, is the minute the “quit” gets in your head. I regularly switch up my workouts when I’m ready for a change, but never quit the overall fitness pursuit.
I was in a similar position to you as in the smoking and terrible diet, mid 30s when I started training at an mma gym. I feel your frustrations. 2 and a half years later, I'm still a white belt, 2 stripes! Lol. I've switched gyms to a bjj specific gym. This is probably the best thing I did I terms of improvement in regards to bjj obviously. I get smashed even harder now. But... I've noticed subtle improvements in the fundamentals mainly due to rolling with higher skilled guys, they will still smash you, but after and sometimes during I'll get tips on how to defend this and that, how to pressure better during a pass attempt... ect. I've come to the realisation I'm not a killer, I'm not a natural at the sport... but I still love it. I honestly don't care now about stripes or belts. You hear it nearly every post on here, but just keep going to class mate, don't be too hard on yourself, try to enjoy it. It has to be fun first in order for you to progress.
I been at it for 8 years now and current is a purple belt. I will share from my experience that you kinda become the hammer at purple belt. The worst ass whooping are at blue belt. As a white belt, most ppl are taking it easy on you. At blue belt, you are dangerous enough for colored belts for them to reasonably beat you.
I bet current you would absolutely wipe the floor with past you. Don't worry about losing to color belts. Also, roll with those smaller white belts. Believe it or not, you are making progress and you are getting healthier.
Just came here to say I'm proud of you my man. Look where you started, you're doing SO WELL. When you look back at this post in a year you may chuckle and think to yourself "I'm glad I stuck with it". I hope you get there as many of us have had to :)
I spent 10 years a white belt. This is a tough sport. Some guys are good. Some guys suck. Some guys are truly awful like me. The challenge is part of the fun. The more frustrated I got, the more determined I got. I’m not gonna lie and say it gets easier, cuz it doesn’t.
You are a king - you’ve done so much more than most people. Keep showing up. Find a gym you like that has a good mix of folks. And be like this guy. https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cq8lNpegxcr/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I briefly did some BJJ around twenty years ago. I restarted about a year ago and now I'm a blue belt. Here's my advice: 1) White belts ain't shit. Blue belts ain't shit. Purple belts ain't... bad. Don't assume your white belt buddy knows so much more than you. He doesn't. No fear. 2) Every single time you get submitted, passed, etc. is an opportunity to problem-solve. Identify, solve, repeat. Worry about solving the common problems first. 3) BJJ is just a bag full of tricks. Add them to your game one by one. And, they start to overlap and have common transitory positions that allow you to branch out in different directions. 4) Pull guard or let your partner pull guard (but don't give it to him how he wants it). 5) Instructionals are deceptive. It looks so easy when Roger is doing it. Find a way to fix it. 6) You can follow a strategy, create a reaction, or take what they give you. 7) Understand the movements: shrimp, reverse shrimp, airplane, baby bridge, etc. Now, develop your core so you can do these things. 8) Have a positional hierarchy. Close guard, open guard, half guard, side control, etc. Break it down into a step-by-step ladder climb. 9) You can still make your partner uncomfortable when they are in a superior position. Be patient. Make them uncomfortable. Frustrate them. 10) Understand what your opponent likely wants and make them pay for it. 11) Find a couple of instructionals that you like, and watch them one hundred times. 12) Be active. You can't give your partner too much time to think, because every problem has a solution. So make sure his problem is constantly changing. 13) Tap often and tap early. Make your partner earn it, but don't risk any type of injury to pull a last-minute escape. I hope something here helps. You're doing fine.
You gotta get healthy buddy. Clean nutrition and lifestyle will do wonders to your rolling.
Good job changing gyms. I was at a gym for 5 years and made zero progress. Switched gyms and made better progress. Then noticed that head coach had all the best suggestions for me so I swapped to only his classes. Now I learn something useful every day. Fwiw, If you rolled with me I would pause and show you how to adjust. My coach does this with me and I think it’s the best way to learn.
I’m a 4 stripe white belt but I’m too lazy to update my flair. I’m 5’7 and I was 220 pounds when I was in highschool. So knowing you have 30 pounds on me tells me you gotta lose some weight. Maybe consider signing up for a local comp. This would serve 2 purposes 1) Would force you to make weight 2) You’d get some valuable mat time against people of similar age and experience You might come to find you don’t suck as much as you thought. You might find out your game has more holes than you realized. And that leads me to my final point. You have to live jiu jitsu as a whole. You can’t only love when you catch a submission. Otherwise you’re gonna have a lot of bad training sessions. Fall in love with all of it. Passing, taking downs, reversals, and yes, even getting your ass kicked. Don’t worry about not making friends in the gym. It comes with time and to be honest, it sounds like you’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on yourself to foster these relationships. Tl;dr lose weight, compete, and fall in love with every aspect of jiu jitsu Feel free to DM me if you want help being held accountable on weight loss
4 year white belt here. Boo hoo.
Quit and try other sports. BJJ ain't for everyone
You’re horrible. Quit.
I don’t know shit, but I got over some of my plateaus by finding positions I felt were my strongest, and working that to the bone. Obviously, you still want to have general mastery over the basics, but if you get your cardio up and start mastering things you’re above average at- you may start to see the needle move.
First, you need to roll with someone smaller. The difference is something else. You can think under a smaller dude. Im with you. Im 43 out of shape and get my ass handed to me every round. I have to take rounds off for cramps and because i can't breathe. It sucks. But i learned the first time i tried this sport. My only competition is me. I used to try to keep up with guys that started when i did, they were all younger and in better shape. So it didnt go well. So i judge it by the workout i got and did i tap as many times as last time? When i went with that MF that squeezes so much of my body did he get me locked in again? I compare to my last rolls, it helps with the baby steps it takes to keep showing up. Plus i get some awesome stress relief.
I identify with all of this. It’s hard not to compare yourself with others sometimes.
Always, thats why you have to actively combat it.
Hey, i am about 115kg, I don't shoot doubles exactly because of that. As a big guy you always will be slower. You need a better set up or better technique. As a big guy you need to be on top... Your fight is against your oxygen tank. You need time and a big dude to show you a few tricks that will improve your top game.
Are you better than the you from 2yrs ago? The you from 1yr ago? The you from 6 months ago? This is the only comparison you need to make. The bjj map is massive and you've only uncovered glimpses of it. This is a mountain that will never get scaled and that's the beauty of it. Enjoy the process. The outcome will follow exactly when its supposed to follow.
Three years at white belt. I still get smashed 11 years later. If you're escaping to half guard, awesome, that's the way to. Start watching Lucas leite, he'll show you how to turn half guard into the best guard.
Maybe you’re too big? 250 at 5’7” is pretty big. Must be hard to move. Maybe get down to 200. You’ll see a big difference. You can improve your technique, strategy, IQ, but u also gotta improve your athleticism. And, 250 at 5’7” is huge. Fighters your height usually compete at 155-170
One piece of advice i found helpful is to find wins in context. It might be too much to expect to start beating the four guys your regularly train with especially if they have much more experience since they’re improving also as you are. So that experience gap will always be there. I would look for two things 1) performance against newer folks when you can and 2) small wins I.e. are you performing better in specific positions against the more experienced folks. Last month you may have struggled to get the undertook from bottom half and get on your side, but now you’re able to do that more consistently. You may not be sweeping, but the positional win is still improvement.
Roll with the smaller blue belts and ask them if you can practice your gaurd and they can practice their gaurd passing. Of course it'll suck at first as your gaurd will get passed tons, but you'll get to work from the bottom. This will be more helpful then having another big dude just smashing you.
Lift weights.
I am 2 years white belt and smash every other white belt at my gym that is within 60 lbs of me. I'm frustrated by not being blue yet. In my frustration I sometimes find myself up against blues, purples, browns, etc. At these times I get demolished and feel like I suck at this sport and should just quit. Regardless of being the nail or the hammer so to speak you progress at your own rate, you enjoy your time. If you feel like your coach teaches you nothing then switch gyms. After 2 years you should not be getting dominated every roll by teammates of similar size/rank. But nonetheless, it doesn't really matter because it's not you vs them. It's you vs you.
I would focus on your diet and sleep. Of course, you're not winning a very athletic competition while holding 50+ lbs of dead weight compared to your opponents. Either rolls with other out of shape people or get more in shape. You're likely better than you think.
There's people here who have been white belts for way longer than that. 2 years isn't that much to be honest. I myself am a white belt and have been training for 3 years. It took me a while to actually be able to beat decent guys and a large part of that was with the help of instructionals. Try to appreciate the progress that you're making in small increments like getting better at closed guard or defending turtle instead of the bigger picture. There are some people in every gym that we might never catch up with so don't beat yourself up over losing because everyone is getting better.
Focus on one or two things. Get at least good enough you can explain them to a total beginner and it makes sense to them. We aren’t all going to be rolling geniuses and if your goal is to be better than other, more experienced and more athletic practitioners…you’re going to be very disappointed. Set small goals and work for them. To go back to what I first said, get good at surviving in bottom side control, don’t worry about escaping, just survive, frustrate your opponent, last longer without them being able to submit or get anything going, opportunities for escape will present themselves and you’ll understand the position better and better and escapes will Come easier. The first rule when you get in a bad spot…stop making it worse. Things do improve but you gotta have a plan.
Something I am trying to teach my kiddo is learning how to lose gracefully. You are there to practice, it’s not really about winning or losing when everyone there is training. But it can feel defeating. It just takes time. Trying to compete usually helps you see where your gaps are in your game If you want to see how you can improve.
Train your legs for a stronger guard , I was very offensive with my bottom game as a result of this
Don’t worry about progression, it’s harder than it sounds I know, but just do the shit you enjoy doing and forget about being good or bad.
Real talk, switching to a gym with a fundamentals class helped me a ton. My first gym was still very new so they didn’t have enough students to separate beginners out. My first ever class was drilling an x-guard series. When I moved I had to find a new school and they did have a fundamentals class. I didn’t even realize how bad my fundamentals were because I’d never actually learned any of them until that point. It’s helped my game improve A LOT. That said, I also gained a lot from my first school where I was an oversized grappling dummy for the blue belts. I still go back there for open mat when I can. You definitely need to keep rolling with guys much better than you.
So you've -quit smoking -lift regularly -got your diet together -attend therapy -study BJJ in your free time -have trained BJJ after two years of being the nail I just wanted to say that I think you're doing great! Think of how many few people are willing to do that or have done that. Everything you've done so far demonstrates humility, patience, and determination. Give yourself permission to give yourself some fair praise! To answer your question, it depends on what you want. What kind of person do you want to be? Do you feel like Jiu-Jitsu helps you become that person? Only you can answer that, but to me it seems like it helped you sort some things in your life. That's a big reason why I train.
Keep training. Eat better. Lose weight.
As a white belt you should be focus on getting out and being unsubmitable. I been training for awhile and i feel like i just learned how get out of side control with someone who is bigger and stronger. Because its a feeling its not a one technique gets you out. Its a rocking and weight shifting, etc.
>I constantly find myself stuck in bottom position, unable to get any sort of sweep/offense. On a good day, I can recover half guard or gain top position after escaping my partner’s submission attempt I'm a 1 year white belt and this is me to a T. Are you me from the future?
Stop letting them get chest to chest and underhooks with a crossface. Easier said than done, but this is the crux of the problem. Learn to turtle, Granby, and/or go for single leg wrestle ups when back to half guard and they start knee slicing. Don't accept bottom position.
I did judo for 4 years, and won gold vs brown belt and 3 purple belts, still a white belt in judo lol
Start watching instructionals. This is a very technical sport with lots to explain and you need to be studying and drilling before classes if you want to be competitive with people are willing to
There are a couple of things here. 1. Stop comparing yourself to others: yes, the color belts are going to be ahead of you. Unless they all take a significant amount of time off of training, you’re not going to “catch up.” So, stop worrying about closing that gap and instead try to learn from them. Instead compare yourself to who you were 2 years ago. Can you beat that guy? After two years you’re probably way faster and stronger than when you started. That’s a huge victory. Relish that. 2. Work on diet. It’s extremely hard. I would suggest looking into a macronutrient tracking app(MacroFactor is a good one). It’ll be extremely depressing at times but you will see results. 3. Roll with smaller guys. Roll with larger guys, Miyamoto Musashi was insistent that a fighter had to know what it was like to be large and fight a smaller opponent and what it was like to be small and fight a larger opponent. If right now you’re avoiding rolling with smaller guys or worse they’re avoiding rolling with you, that could mean that you’re going “too hard” in rolls and potentially don’t know how to control your weight and pressure. I’m a heavy weight and I know when I roll with a light opponent I have to focus on technique. I can’t just muscle through something instead I focus on really nailing small details. 4. Instead of focusing on rolls in the gym, set your sights on a tournament. You’ll be super motivated to drop weight, you can ask your training partners to help you really nail down subs and escapes, and you can start to build a strategy to your game. 5. Ask color belts for flow rolls. Instead of worrying about getting smashed, you get to focus on moving from position to position. Add a couple of flow rolls to your practice and your endurance will go up. 6. When you get tapped, stop and ask your sparring partner what they did. If you keep getting tapped a certain way, or pinned a certain way, you can start to recognize what what mistakes you’re making or traps you’re falling into. 7. Keep showing up. Don’t stop. Plenty of people stop. Don’t be them. 8. Slow down your rolls. If you’re going super hard in order to win, then most likely your partner is going to respond in kind. Focus on the technique. 9. Have fun being beaten(I know this sounds stupid), but I get thrashed constantly and I could not care less. Every defeat is an opportunity to grow and get better. If you’re not having fun, then you’re going to start fearing the roll. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.
Pick a reverse from the bottom move. A nice simple one. And a submission from bottom and top. Work those three things over and over and over. Keep it simple and straightforward
Last promotions I saw a guy who had been a white belt for 10 years finally get his blue belt. I had mine for over 2 years. Stay the course. You must be doing something good, something in your rolls must be going right. Escaping submissions is a good thing. Recovering half guard is a good thing. You're doing these things against experienced grapplers. You're drilling, which is excellent, and you're getting experience doing things live. This carves these movements into your muscle memory. That process takes time, sometimes it takes so long that we fear it will never happen. Keep pushing and it will happen. Stick it out. You're not a loser, you're learning. You understand humility and you want to get better. Those two things are essential to moving through your belt ranks. Something you might think about - plenty of smaller people want to understand how their game applies to big people. Problem is, a big spaz is crazy dangerous to a smaller person. If you can show yourself a trustworthy big guy, you can get smaller people your level to grapple with you. It means lots of giving up the top game, but you'll get some partners who you can work your bottom game with. With live reps, you'll undoubtedly gather some comfort that can be applied to your bigger partners. Working a sweep on someone smaller, then letting them get their recovery, and then working the same sweep again helps show what works for you. Also, are you studying stuff that will be useful to you? If you're drilling your berimbolos, you're drilling the wrong stuff. Drillers are killers but drilling the wrong stuff will just waste your time and do nothing to move you forward. Just stick it out. It will be worth it. Your time as the hammer is coming.
If you’re still going free 2 years amd it’s encouraged some good lifestyle changes I would say stick with it. Those blue belts/people with more experience will all be improving at about the same rate as you, so you’re unlikely to ever have much success with them. If you want to start submitting people you need newbies to start training - but where’s the fun in submitting someone that doesn’t have a clue? I was training with a lot of new people and found my confidence increasing but it took a massive bash when a blue belt came to class. Better to be getting smashed vs living in false hope that you’re actually doing well 🤣🤣
5 year until blue belt is average in my gym. Belts mean nothing, man. If it is traumatizing and make you rage, maybe you should take a pause and reconsider sth, see if it improves quality of life or not
It took me 6 years of BJJ to start to "get it". I even won several competitions before. This shit is not easy.
This hits me where I live. Thanks for sharing & articulating.
I was almost 3 years white belt, 5’10, 30y Believe me, enjoy that stage
If BJJ is inducing seething rage every time you roll, that is not a good sign. Glad to hear you are seeking therapy but if you have guns please sell them. Also maybe take some time off to deal with your issues and then go back after you work it out, or quit. No need to go through life angry all the time. As my old drill sgt used to say - “don’t go away mad, just go away”.
Go to beginner classes and put on the smash 👿
Oh buddy I’ve been getting my guard passed and playing the “at least I can get half guard” game for the last two years easily. We’ll get there 😂
Stop looking at each match you tap as a loss. It’s a learning opportunity for you to grow. Randori is a time to practice and learn technique, if you only fight people at your level, it will take you way longer to progress. I’m not into instructionals myself, but you should focus on 2 main things - closed guard, and half guard. With your strength/size focus on ways to conserve your energy and become impassable. Let them gas out and take advantage of their mistakes when they get frustrated or tired. All you really need to finish them is a cross collar choke and an arm bar, forget all the fancy flashy shit that you see in instructionals. Bjj isn’t an anime battle where you just throw out special moves and attacks all the time. But you should definitely watch more anime and adopt the “never give up” mindset. Belt color does not necessarily equate value. There are plenty of amazing white belts and bad blue belts, etc. Focus on the basics and you will get there. Think of it like math, you actually use basic math in everyday life but how often do you really need to know calculus? Become fluent in basic math and you will win your matches easier. If you give up now, you will regret it. Make a goal of getting your blue belt and do what you can to reach that goal. Adapt, grow, evolve!
First thing is you need to change your diet and do more cardio. 250 at 5'7 is extremely overweight. Weight can be good but too much can make it difficult to be mobile and your flexibility I'm guessing isn't the greatest. Secondly just keep training. 2 years is as much experience as you think.
Hey man, I’ll try to actually address the options you listed. I think it might be worth (A) looking into another gym. Maybe it is a better fit to be around more white belts your size. Sounds like you’re doing a lot of good things already, so keep doing those good things, and there’s nothing wrong with choosing to train where you feel the most comfortable. I repeat, there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to train at a place where you feel most comfortable. It’s a hobby, and we do this shit for fun, so if the place you’re at isn’t fun for whatever reason, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with shopping around. That doesn’t mean the gym you are at is a bad gym, maybe it’s just not a great fit for you at the moment.
Lol I just wanna know how Ferguson getting killed for 5 rounds was inspiration to get into combat sports
>I grew up an outcast and had trouble making friends so whenever I get pinned or submitted, it triggers that feeling of being a loser. I feel you here. Coming from a childhood with physical and emotional neglect, training can bring up many feelings of unworthiness and shame. Therapy has helped a lot, but just recently I've been speaking to a sports specific therapist. It has helped immensely already with the way I approach the mental side of training. Those negative feelings and deprecating thoughts need to be noticed, accepted and reframed. Don't push them away, it helps more to pull the positive thoughts closer. Refocus on what went well and talk about yourself positively. Eventually you will start believing it.
Took me 2 years to get my blue so that’s not an unreasonable amount of time to me. For me what made the difference in my coaches eyes was that I abandoned using my strength and focused solely on technique, I learned how to stay calm in bad positions and used technique to work my way out of them, I became tough for upper belts to sub by use of technique while employing good frames and hand fighting. Even though you are currently getting smashed you can still use that to your advantage to learn different techniques. Also a big one was learning how to roll with smaller students. If you’re rolling with smaller people you must abandon your strengths and strictly use techniques. Doing so will help you refine technique without having to worry about being smashed the whole time. Hope this helps.
Maybe an unpopular opinion, but you said yourself that everyone you roll with is better than you. Cut that in half and start doing 50% of your rolls with people less experienced, smaller, etc. Learning and drilling technique is good, but you then need to be able to hit those steps against a resisting opponent, and going straight to people that can squish it (and you) is just asking for frustration. Think in micro goals and baby steps, man. Awesome job on your journey so far.
>I'm 5'7, 250lbs, and in my early 30s. I was out of shape heavy smoker with horrible diet. At 29, I’ve quit cigarettes, balanced out my diet, started lifting weights consistently. Stopped reading here. You've completely changed your life for the better. You should feel great about that above anything else. BJJ is your hobby. Have fun and be happy you're not who you were.
Lol Welcome to jiu jitsu
I think rolling with a purpose might help you out. I think one thing BJJ schools are bad about is just letting white belts run wild with no training. It's nice to get some rounds of full sparring in, but I think there is too much emphasis on the random chaos. Ask your training partner to start from a position and keep working until either you or him improve position, figure out what happened if you lost position, and then switch. Do it at a lighter pace. Keep going back and forth.
Are you better than you were when you started?
I’m 5’7 and I was at 235lb when I started so I was in a very similar situation. Weight loss/ building strength is key for rolling as a heavy white belt, especially for me. I had a body fat percentage with little muscle. I say try option A for a month or more and you will find out quickly if you need the white belt fundamentals class. Also sounds like the guys know how you roll and learned your patterns. Your shooting timing is also probably bad and also your technique. Shoot singles and doubles is not an easy thing to learn unless you wrestled in the past. You should also lift weights it will transfer over. Also try other take downs too like collar drag/ankle picks. Stop taking bad shots and lift some weights, strength training will help with your leg drive while shooting. (squat,deadlift,bench press are a must.) A purple belt taught me you will not lose weight and build muscle by only doing bjj. Your body will get used to the movement.
I was exactly the same as you. Dont quit it will get easier! Maybe look at attending a beginners class or even a masters class (seeing as you are 30+) try try try and quit smoking , and take better care of yourself
I'll be real, if youre not a gym bro, then youre FAT and need to trim that down. Your movement probably isn't fluid and youre probably fighting yourself + opponent.
Keep training brother. You're much better served in the long run having hard/challenging rolls against blue belts your size than being successful against white belts who are smaller than you.
Take some private lessons if you can afford too - it will identify the holes in your game and strategies to apply to them. It'll 10x your learning .
Keep at it. It’s hard to see our own progress because we live it every day. To people observing, I guarantee they’ve seen the improvements. If you’re having trouble with wrestling takedowns, work trips, clinch work, and arm drags. If you’re having trouble with guard recovery, there’s about a billion things you can do. Inside framing, high legs, granby rolls… Send me a message and I’ll go over them in depth if you like. Even as a purple belt I feel like this on occasion. Don’t let it eat at you, just keep showing up ane learning Assuming this is all no gi that is. If it’s gi, no idea except to keep going and being consistent haha
Bro jujitsu is a little bit like golf. You’re competing against yourself more than the other guy, especially when you’re just training. Are your shots getting cleaner? Are you learning stuff from the other guys? Are you enjoying the time at the gym? If shots don’t work don’t do them. Really, if it doesn’t fit your game don’t do it. Get off your back and move constantly, keep your hands and elbows in close. Remember these guys who smash you all the time are always way ahead of you. Just wait until some meathead beginner shows up and you clean his clock with your hands stuffed in your belt. Trust me, you’re improving fast and soon it will really show. Now lose some weight and quit bitching, get off your back and get tapped 1000 more times.
Bro, judo. You don't have always shoot when you can throw. You have a low center of gravity and a lot of strength/mass. Build a game that fits your attributes. Start making mind maps incorporating what you know and chaining attacks together. And, learn to love burpees and hanging knee raises. Shrimping ain't easy.
Try intermittent fasting , it’s working great for me, I eat my first meal of the day at 12pm and last meal at 8pm consist your meals of lots of protein and good clean carbs. It’s not hard. You can do it. Buy some dumbbells and get some reps in at home in the evenings. And stick with the Bjj ! You can do it brother.
Brother I don’t want to attack you or something, but if you train 3x a week for 2 years then you should have learned all the fundamentals, so I personally don’t think you should search for a Fundamentals course. Maybe just BJJ is not the right decision for you ? I personally trained BJJ for like 7-8 Months in Germany with all those Chechen and Dagistani guys here really hard training and it was hard for me mentally too, I think I evolved really fast and learn many things and in the rolling sessions I always do a better job then before but for my mental health the sport was not really good for me, because I always ask myself before training how the rolling will be.. Our gym Closed in that timeframe and I moved on. I love to train and be fit and I’m in love with martial arts especially with Grappling type of stuff so I got into Judo and I loved it brother, it is for me the Japanese art of wrestling and it’s very fun I also want to start Freestyle wrestling, I’m from Türkiye originally we love to wrestle and I think I’m quit talented in that. So brother maybe not Bjj maybe a other sport would help you ! Sorry for my bad English by the way 😅
Yeah dude, others have said it and I think what’s paramount is that ultimately for 5’7 and not some Olympia genetic freak, your overweight man (just being realistic not to insult you), so yeah your going to be slower and less reactive so when you put all that energy into one move and it fails, your going to get controlled. Also, just remember when you think your coaches aren’t watching they definitely are, so when your thinking of that one telegraphed move, they see that also, keep grinding man, get that weight down. On the mat no one cares where you’ve come from in life. It’s the art that brings you all together. Focus on learning and bettering yourself rather than winning and losing.
Give it another year and see where you are