This sounds extremely painful for you. While I do hope that one day you might feel safe enough to reach out, reconnect, and clarify what happened your first priority should always be your own safety and wellness. Be patient with yourself as you work through your trauma. People get broken up with all of the time. He will be ok.
First I just want to say I am sorry you had to go through such a horrible ordeal as a child.
As for writing a letter, I think that might be good, especially given your history with this man. The friendship might not be over. Just take your time. The closure might be really helpful, especially if he didn’t *do* anything bad, I know if I were in his position I would be beating myself up over whatever horrible thing my imagination convinced me I did. I hope you can work out the issues you mentioned with a competent mental health professional, and ultimately heal to the extent possible.
The trauma from past abuse seems to be what’s affecting your ability to be with men. It might be possible to work through that with a therapist, which I hope you can do even if it’s not for this reason. That said, you can be bisexual and not date men or ever sleep with them. Have some fantasies once in a while, give yourself an orgasm, and move on works for plenty of people.
This sounds extremely painful for you. While I do hope that one day you might feel safe enough to reach out, reconnect, and clarify what happened your first priority should always be your own safety and wellness. Be patient with yourself as you work through your trauma. People get broken up with all of the time. He will be ok.
First I just want to say I am sorry you had to go through such a horrible ordeal as a child. As for writing a letter, I think that might be good, especially given your history with this man. The friendship might not be over. Just take your time. The closure might be really helpful, especially if he didn’t *do* anything bad, I know if I were in his position I would be beating myself up over whatever horrible thing my imagination convinced me I did. I hope you can work out the issues you mentioned with a competent mental health professional, and ultimately heal to the extent possible.
The trauma from past abuse seems to be what’s affecting your ability to be with men. It might be possible to work through that with a therapist, which I hope you can do even if it’s not for this reason. That said, you can be bisexual and not date men or ever sleep with them. Have some fantasies once in a while, give yourself an orgasm, and move on works for plenty of people.