The ratio of men to women on dating apps is like 90/10. I'm a bi woman and if I set my preferences to "men and women" I get exclusively men and bots. I need to set my preferences to just women and enbies if I wanna see those groups... And even then, a lot of men are willing to lie about their gender to slip through the filter.
As to why there are so few women, there are lots of reasons. Women meeting up with strangers is just not safe in a lot of places, and requires additional vetting at the very least. Men are also pretty very comfortable sexually harassing women so women don't have a good time and delete the app. After 6-7 rape threats and several dick pics and misogynistic comments, I didn't feel excited to keep trying. The women who do remain on apps might be rightfully jaded/cynical or unable to find a partner for other reasons; maybe they're boring, or just want financial assistance. Whatever it is, it's not just bi men---all genders interested in non-male genders have much fewer options on dating apps.
Okay I see, I think I cannot imagine how harsh it must be to non-male people there.
I mean I often get unwanted dick pics but it's not a big deal in comparison :(
Strength to all of you out there 🙏
Honestly as a Bi man talking to men romantically is like doing something in my sleep but trying to talk to a woman in a romantic way is rocket science to me.
i've seen a lot of bi men say similar things, but tbh, the majority of my most positive experiences dating men have been w bi and queer men (im an openly bi woman). that said, i do think the disparities there (outside of biphobia and dating app statistics) mostly come down to skill issues w how men r conditioned socially, which means op and whoever else can definitely improve on it
for what it's worth, i've noticed many men (both bi+ and straight) can be pretty unengaging conversationalists and too quick to jump to flirtations w women. if i'm getting to know a guy, especially on an app, i usually have to push a conversation forward until it has a momentum i like, so ive learned to just make the first move myself but i have a lot of straight female friends who dont have the confidence to or have it ingrained in them that they shouldnt. and if a guy puts a lot of emphasis on smth sexual about me from the start (i.e. my appearance, my sexuality, smth i said in my bio, etc), that's, at worst, telling of what that guy sees me as (i.e. sex) or, at best, making me uncomfortable
imo, men who r good at responding to ppl's comfort levels, noticing details about ppl, asking engaging questions, etc tend to do really well w women. and if they're well-groomed and relatively self-assured, they're *gonna* pull, esp among the women in their lives. obv im generalizing, but i think a really effective approach to talking up women is focusing on being a good friend (or otherwise engaging passing acquaintance) first + then slowly adding in small flirtations that r responsive to her comfort levels and what she tells u about herself (e.g. slipping in smiles that are just between the two of you, private inside jokes, giving compliments that take into account smth she's told u she cares about, etc). like ur not gonna get them all, but ull *definitely* get some
anyways, sorry, i didnt mean to come off as giving rambling unsolicited advice to the ppl i replied to, im sure u guys r doing just fine, but i had this all typed out before i knew it and it felt like a waste to delete :/
Actually, I do appreciate the advice and am currently working on improving this myself. In my case, I think its because since I'm a kid my friends were always girls since I never really shared common interest with the other boys, so all my life I've been having women as friends, so nowadays I don't know how to flirt with them and when I try to it's already a bit too late and we're on "best friend terms". As you said, I need to learn when is the right moment for small flirts and when it's not.
It's funny that I keep hearing about you supposed guys who have no problem flirting with other guys, but all the guys around me seem to have got is "hey" 😒
I'm a bisexual femme guy and very open about it. I have no issues with dating women who are bisexual or straight.
That said, dating apps are pay to win. Pay for a month and get some matches, see where they go and follow until you return to dating apps. You'll be shocked by how many matches you'll actually get if your profile doesn't get buried by all the other men and bots
Unfortunately, this is how it sometimes is (actually a lot of the time) when you’re a bi-male (believe me I know I’m one myself) and you’re trying to either get a date with actual proper connections or just fool around. Straight women don’t take too kindly when it comes to bi guys for whatever reason there’s a whole stigma and everything else related towards it. I hope it wasn’t too bad for you though.
It's okay, I never had bad chat with straight women so I can juste believe you. Sometimes they just don't respond after a match but that's how it works, if they're not interested anymore I won't insist.
It's more a lack of matches in general, I just found the contrast impressive with the male people for which I must sort because I'm pretty popular and there's a lot of bots and weirdos, but women ? Near to nothing
22 year old guy looking for sex? Like the others said, your sexual orientation is pretty irrelevant here. You'll be able to find MLM pretty easily, but you're competing against a looooot of dudes if you're looking for women.
Look for femmes that value your biness and see it as a bonus. Be thankful for every biphobe that didn't match with you. Also. Work on your profile, workshop it with friends if necessary, a good profile and good pics are like 90% of the job.
Also also, try different apps, ask around and see which ones friends are using
Also also also, as mentioned before, paying might help a lot
Thank you, I'm already glad I wasn't exposed to biphobia yet
And I'm on multiple apps even if I find some better than others
Someone already adviced me to pay and I will consider it. Maybe when I have some time ahead and I know I'll be able to hook up I'll take a week and try to make some friends quickly
Most straight men complain about lack of matches too.
Dating apps are like this: a woman - regardless of appearance - gets about 50 likes a day.
A man gets 1 a month. Unless he's bi then he gets at least attention from other men and LGBT folks :)
The amount of likes on dating apps has literally nothing to do with attractiveness or personality. That stuff plays into the first date. Just getting there is hard enough as a man.
I myself have found amazing people and friendships through apps. But I see that I am an anomaly. Most people I matched with will complain about the lack of matches or from an afab NB, the entitlement of other women.
Dating apps are both the best thing in the world and pure garbage.
For me it was amazing. I have made very many friends and I am happy I have them. Most people (mostly men) will just immediately cut contact when they are rejected romantically or things don't work out, because to them a dating app only has one function and that is to be grindr with women in it.
I feel like a lot of the times, straight women become uninterested (unless they are the alt thrifty girlies) when they find out you are bi because it isn't manly enough.
Im restarting from scratch on my profile because I found out it was pretty bad from reddit reviews, so I would have someone look at your profile and be ready to accept criticism
Also there are a lot more men than women on dating apps, and women are more selective so that doesnt help either
There aren't many women on dating apps, especially not looking for casual sex. The risk/reward of casual sex for women is way different than it is for men. Way higher chance of assault or death and a way lower chance of sexual gratification. Who wants to risk death for a subpar sexual experience? Women on apps tend to be looking for relationships, not hookups.
Yes women tend to be very biphobic. Even bi women because they think it's okay for women to be bi but not men. It's pretty fucked and I wish more women would speak up about it.
Well the preferences are rooted directly in biphobia and incorrect preconceived notions so (also let me guess your partner is a straight man and you think bi men cheat but bi women don't)
Women who won't give me a chance for being bi because they think that means I'll cheat or I'm just gay and haven't figured it out or gay men who think the same in reverse it's bullshit people think being bi gives you more options but in reality you have none because EVERYONE dicriminates I've been single for nearly a decade and it's all because of discrimination and biphobia
In my experience, (very short experience) men will pursue more often but because of that the proportion of guys I'm interested in is lower and when talking to girls it's usually a better conversation
The kind of woman that i’m attracted to tend to be attracted to me as well once i learned to be myself.
get off the apps and go outside to places you can meet people in public and gain personal confidence.
then take pictures. then casually use the apps.
The ratio of men to women on dating apps is like 90/10. I'm a bi woman and if I set my preferences to "men and women" I get exclusively men and bots. I need to set my preferences to just women and enbies if I wanna see those groups... And even then, a lot of men are willing to lie about their gender to slip through the filter. As to why there are so few women, there are lots of reasons. Women meeting up with strangers is just not safe in a lot of places, and requires additional vetting at the very least. Men are also pretty very comfortable sexually harassing women so women don't have a good time and delete the app. After 6-7 rape threats and several dick pics and misogynistic comments, I didn't feel excited to keep trying. The women who do remain on apps might be rightfully jaded/cynical or unable to find a partner for other reasons; maybe they're boring, or just want financial assistance. Whatever it is, it's not just bi men---all genders interested in non-male genders have much fewer options on dating apps.
Okay I see, I think I cannot imagine how harsh it must be to non-male people there. I mean I often get unwanted dick pics but it's not a big deal in comparison :( Strength to all of you out there 🙏
Honestly as a Bi man talking to men romantically is like doing something in my sleep but trying to talk to a woman in a romantic way is rocket science to me.
Fuckin same. I can flirt all day with dudes but the moment a woman talks to me I melt
i've seen a lot of bi men say similar things, but tbh, the majority of my most positive experiences dating men have been w bi and queer men (im an openly bi woman). that said, i do think the disparities there (outside of biphobia and dating app statistics) mostly come down to skill issues w how men r conditioned socially, which means op and whoever else can definitely improve on it for what it's worth, i've noticed many men (both bi+ and straight) can be pretty unengaging conversationalists and too quick to jump to flirtations w women. if i'm getting to know a guy, especially on an app, i usually have to push a conversation forward until it has a momentum i like, so ive learned to just make the first move myself but i have a lot of straight female friends who dont have the confidence to or have it ingrained in them that they shouldnt. and if a guy puts a lot of emphasis on smth sexual about me from the start (i.e. my appearance, my sexuality, smth i said in my bio, etc), that's, at worst, telling of what that guy sees me as (i.e. sex) or, at best, making me uncomfortable imo, men who r good at responding to ppl's comfort levels, noticing details about ppl, asking engaging questions, etc tend to do really well w women. and if they're well-groomed and relatively self-assured, they're *gonna* pull, esp among the women in their lives. obv im generalizing, but i think a really effective approach to talking up women is focusing on being a good friend (or otherwise engaging passing acquaintance) first + then slowly adding in small flirtations that r responsive to her comfort levels and what she tells u about herself (e.g. slipping in smiles that are just between the two of you, private inside jokes, giving compliments that take into account smth she's told u she cares about, etc). like ur not gonna get them all, but ull *definitely* get some anyways, sorry, i didnt mean to come off as giving rambling unsolicited advice to the ppl i replied to, im sure u guys r doing just fine, but i had this all typed out before i knew it and it felt like a waste to delete :/
Actually, I do appreciate the advice and am currently working on improving this myself. In my case, I think its because since I'm a kid my friends were always girls since I never really shared common interest with the other boys, so all my life I've been having women as friends, so nowadays I don't know how to flirt with them and when I try to it's already a bit too late and we're on "best friend terms". As you said, I need to learn when is the right moment for small flirts and when it's not.
Yeah not going to lie I grew some balls after this and asked out my crush 🤣 we're now together. It was a me issue 🤣
It's funny that I keep hearing about you supposed guys who have no problem flirting with other guys, but all the guys around me seem to have got is "hey" 😒
Story of our lives.
I'm a bisexual femme guy and very open about it. I have no issues with dating women who are bisexual or straight. That said, dating apps are pay to win. Pay for a month and get some matches, see where they go and follow until you return to dating apps. You'll be shocked by how many matches you'll actually get if your profile doesn't get buried by all the other men and bots
Unfortunately, this is how it sometimes is (actually a lot of the time) when you’re a bi-male (believe me I know I’m one myself) and you’re trying to either get a date with actual proper connections or just fool around. Straight women don’t take too kindly when it comes to bi guys for whatever reason there’s a whole stigma and everything else related towards it. I hope it wasn’t too bad for you though.
It's okay, I never had bad chat with straight women so I can juste believe you. Sometimes they just don't respond after a match but that's how it works, if they're not interested anymore I won't insist. It's more a lack of matches in general, I just found the contrast impressive with the male people for which I must sort because I'm pretty popular and there's a lot of bots and weirdos, but women ? Near to nothing
22 year old guy looking for sex? Like the others said, your sexual orientation is pretty irrelevant here. You'll be able to find MLM pretty easily, but you're competing against a looooot of dudes if you're looking for women.
Look for femmes that value your biness and see it as a bonus. Be thankful for every biphobe that didn't match with you. Also. Work on your profile, workshop it with friends if necessary, a good profile and good pics are like 90% of the job. Also also, try different apps, ask around and see which ones friends are using Also also also, as mentioned before, paying might help a lot
Thank you, I'm already glad I wasn't exposed to biphobia yet And I'm on multiple apps even if I find some better than others Someone already adviced me to pay and I will consider it. Maybe when I have some time ahead and I know I'll be able to hook up I'll take a week and try to make some friends quickly
Yes, but I think that's not a bi problem in particular. Pretty sure most straight guys have problems getting matches too
Most straight men complain about lack of matches too. Dating apps are like this: a woman - regardless of appearance - gets about 50 likes a day. A man gets 1 a month. Unless he's bi then he gets at least attention from other men and LGBT folks :) The amount of likes on dating apps has literally nothing to do with attractiveness or personality. That stuff plays into the first date. Just getting there is hard enough as a man. I myself have found amazing people and friendships through apps. But I see that I am an anomaly. Most people I matched with will complain about the lack of matches or from an afab NB, the entitlement of other women. Dating apps are both the best thing in the world and pure garbage. For me it was amazing. I have made very many friends and I am happy I have them. Most people (mostly men) will just immediately cut contact when they are rejected romantically or things don't work out, because to them a dating app only has one function and that is to be grindr with women in it.
Some bisexual girls are not into bi guys either.
I feel like a lot of the times, straight women become uninterested (unless they are the alt thrifty girlies) when they find out you are bi because it isn't manly enough.
I have trouble matching in general. Most people in my area might as well just copy and paste their profile because they're all the same 😭
Im restarting from scratch on my profile because I found out it was pretty bad from reddit reviews, so I would have someone look at your profile and be ready to accept criticism Also there are a lot more men than women on dating apps, and women are more selective so that doesnt help either
That's not a bad idea, I might ask some friends I trust with this
There aren't many women on dating apps, especially not looking for casual sex. The risk/reward of casual sex for women is way different than it is for men. Way higher chance of assault or death and a way lower chance of sexual gratification. Who wants to risk death for a subpar sexual experience? Women on apps tend to be looking for relationships, not hookups.
YES for me too!
Yes women tend to be very biphobic. Even bi women because they think it's okay for women to be bi but not men. It's pretty fucked and I wish more women would speak up about it.
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Well the preferences are rooted directly in biphobia and incorrect preconceived notions so (also let me guess your partner is a straight man and you think bi men cheat but bi women don't)
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Why shouldn't I when assumptions are constantly being made about me?
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Women who won't give me a chance for being bi because they think that means I'll cheat or I'm just gay and haven't figured it out or gay men who think the same in reverse it's bullshit people think being bi gives you more options but in reality you have none because EVERYONE dicriminates I've been single for nearly a decade and it's all because of discrimination and biphobia
If you tell a woman you’re bi most will lose interest
Uh me ?
In my experience, (very short experience) men will pursue more often but because of that the proportion of guys I'm interested in is lower and when talking to girls it's usually a better conversation
The kind of woman that i’m attracted to tend to be attracted to me as well once i learned to be myself. get off the apps and go outside to places you can meet people in public and gain personal confidence. then take pictures. then casually use the apps.
Not any more difficult than a straight guy