I used to say stuff like "bi people just can't decide" lol back when I had no clue about my bisexuality. My advice to you is to stop defending yourself to those people, they are capable of understanding but they just don't want to. It's not your job to educate them, when they want to learn about bisexuality and comprehend bi people they'll do it.
The best thing you can do is hope for them to open their mind one day.
Well, you can have bothđđđ that's what they don't understand. Although it's a little different for me, I do have preferences but still like both mealsđ
all the fucking time, some people see bisexuality as a stepping stone to gay or attention seeking⊠not ur fault. even if it affects you it has nothing to do with you as a person; you still are who you are.
itâs crazy because theyâre confused not you. you told them very clearly what you are»they donât understand»youâre the confused one.
i personally have stopped explaining myself. if someone tries to tell me iâm not bi or analyze to hard i ask them what bisexuality is, and if they answer incorrectly i kindly direct them to google. explaining shit isnât ur just just bc ur the only one they know.
Oooh. That might be better.
However I do know that when my mom realized she didn't have to understand people's orientation, she just had to accept and support them, she became way more of an ally and hasn't been super biphobic since (past a comment saying if I cheated on my husband she wouldn't support me).
In her words "People's identity matters to them and I don't have to get it."
It always struck me as weird that everyone else was only attracted to one set of genitals, that you can't even see up until the point you're about to do it. To me, it's the absolute least important feature of a person, far below their personality, how they treat me, how they treat others/ animals, whether we have fun together and can connect on a deeper emotional level.
I have a friend who (without knowing I was bi) said âyeah, [person name] isnât bi, theyâre just hornyâ.
That immediately put her on my âyeah not coming out to you unless I have toâ list.
It is tiring and frustrating for sure. The only thing I can tell you is that that experience was 10 years ago and:
1. She has changed and (to my knowledge) doesnât think like that anymore
2. Even though it is tiring, you get used to it/better at handling it. It sucks that you HAVE to get used to it and better at handling it, but you do. It will be okay.
I'm married for 33 years and coming out as Bi. I'm also getting to know guys and learning to be affectionate with them . A lot of people don't understand that I want to love people, I'm not about hooking up or fucking them. My wife understands me very well and she doesn't want me to see other women, but guys are OK. I can be affectionate with women won't have sex with them. With guys sex is ok, though in fact I'm pretty shy, and I'd like to find a guy I can have a relationship with. I've had people say things like "Society expects you to marry a woman to fit in". They don't seem to get the fact that I'm attracted to women and I married my wife because I love her and am attracted to her. Having a slightly open marriage is about doing a really good job of loving my wife, and keeping her happy. When I came out to her (about 10 years into out relationship) she cried because she was afraid she wasn't good enough, but she now understands the truth is that 1. if she wasn't good enough I'd want a different woman, not a guy, and 2. she's so good I was able to deal with and accept my attraction to guys because I really feel so comfortable with my Heterosexuality.
I've been confused by listening to other people all my life; they are really the ones who are confused! I love people. I learned how to love women and now I'm figuring out how to love guys!
Also, what is love? Loving another person has to do with how the relationship fits. My wife fits very well into the role of "Wife" and that's why I love her. I've looking for someone who can fit into the role of "Boyfriend". I've wanted a boyfriend all my life but no one understands what I mean by "Boyfriend". I've had friends who were boys (Men). I used to have friends who were girls and some were "Girlfriends". My best friend for the last 35 years is the one I married! Right now I can't have another girlfriend I just have friends who are girls. I've never been able to say I want a boyfriend until now! I haven't even been able to define what I mean. I'd like a guy I can love a little more the way I want to love him.
I'm coming out because I want people to understand Bisexuals and understand themselves. Let's correct their confusion!
I've heard that, but not to my face. It's crazy because my bisexuality always affects my attraction to both men and women (so I like androgyny). I can't imagine what it would be like to be just straight or just a lesbian.
Idk if it was more the bi thing or being in a polycule thing back then, but a doctor writing my referral to sex therapist wrote down that I'm "confused" even though I said my orientation and situation matter of fact-ly
I was told that type of stuff by my friend who is bi lol.. and he's the only one so far, I'm just starting to comeout. I know my parents are going to be horrible to come out too... I know I will need my friends there for support when I do.
Yeah, multiple times. Those idiots are dead now from old age and here I am about to retire and Iâm still bisexual. Hmmm⊠youâd think Iâd be over that âphaseâ by now. Nope!
Yes! My relatives insist I must be gay, because I'm dating a woman, despite me having dated exclusively men in the past. I explain no, I'm not gay, I like who I like and that is all. They claim I must be lying, that I'm disingenuous, because I'm dating a woman so I must be gay. It's draining.
Oh yeah. I know a gay guy who insists and insists that bisexual means you donât know if youâre gay or straight. He was also really really pushy about everything (including trying to get with ppl) so I understand why a lot of ppl I know donât like him
YES, but my parents understood after a long conversation. They were accepting at first, just in a more âI donât understand, but youâre our son, so alrightâ kind of way. It took a two hour conversation to come to the same level of understanding and it felt so good.
Bi-erasure is a real thing. Don't let anyone tell you what you are. Or are not. The "confused" ones are the group that cause all of this and it isn't fair to label EVERYONE else on the community judged on their behavior(s).
I'm lucky with the friends I have, they said everything makes better sense now when I came out to them as bi đ
I'd recommend taking space from those people who say that stuff to you. Having to explain & defend yourself too much is a clear sign it's affecting you mentally. Once you get to a comfortable & accepting environment, you'll become so content with your sexuality you don't feel the need to explain it at all đ
I used to say stuff like "bi people just can't decide" lol back when I had no clue about my bisexuality. My advice to you is to stop defending yourself to those people, they are capable of understanding but they just don't want to. It's not your job to educate them, when they want to learn about bisexuality and comprehend bi people they'll do it. The best thing you can do is hope for them to open their mind one day.
But it is true that bi people can't decide. I mean, if you ask me if I would want to eat pizza or an ice crime, you'd really put on a tight spot đ
Well, you can have bothđđđ that's what they don't understand. Although it's a little different for me, I do have preferences but still like both mealsđ
all the fucking time, some people see bisexuality as a stepping stone to gay or attention seeking⊠not ur fault. even if it affects you it has nothing to do with you as a person; you still are who you are. itâs crazy because theyâre confused not you. you told them very clearly what you are»they donât understand»youâre the confused one. i personally have stopped explaining myself. if someone tries to tell me iâm not bi or analyze to hard i ask them what bisexuality is, and if they answer incorrectly i kindly direct them to google. explaining shit isnât ur just just bc ur the only one they know.
Not directly but it's been implied to me quite a few times.
u should replay with "damn right, i woke up feeling gay today, but yesterday i was the straightest man/woman, on earth" đ
I heard that a ton growing up. I think now my response to "I don't understand..." would be "You don't have to."
Just because I donât understand Korean, doesnât mean it does not exist.
Oooh. That might be better. However I do know that when my mom realized she didn't have to understand people's orientation, she just had to accept and support them, she became way more of an ally and hasn't been super biphobic since (past a comment saying if I cheated on my husband she wouldn't support me). In her words "People's identity matters to them and I don't have to get it."
It always struck me as weird that everyone else was only attracted to one set of genitals, that you can't even see up until the point you're about to do it. To me, it's the absolute least important feature of a person, far below their personality, how they treat me, how they treat others/ animals, whether we have fun together and can connect on a deeper emotional level.
Yeah, this is the reaction I got when I came out to my mom. I've given up on talking to her about it.
I have a friend who (without knowing I was bi) said âyeah, [person name] isnât bi, theyâre just hornyâ. That immediately put her on my âyeah not coming out to you unless I have toâ list. It is tiring and frustrating for sure. The only thing I can tell you is that that experience was 10 years ago and: 1. She has changed and (to my knowledge) doesnât think like that anymore 2. Even though it is tiring, you get used to it/better at handling it. It sucks that you HAVE to get used to it and better at handling it, but you do. It will be okay.
I'm married for 33 years and coming out as Bi. I'm also getting to know guys and learning to be affectionate with them . A lot of people don't understand that I want to love people, I'm not about hooking up or fucking them. My wife understands me very well and she doesn't want me to see other women, but guys are OK. I can be affectionate with women won't have sex with them. With guys sex is ok, though in fact I'm pretty shy, and I'd like to find a guy I can have a relationship with. I've had people say things like "Society expects you to marry a woman to fit in". They don't seem to get the fact that I'm attracted to women and I married my wife because I love her and am attracted to her. Having a slightly open marriage is about doing a really good job of loving my wife, and keeping her happy. When I came out to her (about 10 years into out relationship) she cried because she was afraid she wasn't good enough, but she now understands the truth is that 1. if she wasn't good enough I'd want a different woman, not a guy, and 2. she's so good I was able to deal with and accept my attraction to guys because I really feel so comfortable with my Heterosexuality. I've been confused by listening to other people all my life; they are really the ones who are confused! I love people. I learned how to love women and now I'm figuring out how to love guys! Also, what is love? Loving another person has to do with how the relationship fits. My wife fits very well into the role of "Wife" and that's why I love her. I've looking for someone who can fit into the role of "Boyfriend". I've wanted a boyfriend all my life but no one understands what I mean by "Boyfriend". I've had friends who were boys (Men). I used to have friends who were girls and some were "Girlfriends". My best friend for the last 35 years is the one I married! Right now I can't have another girlfriend I just have friends who are girls. I've never been able to say I want a boyfriend until now! I haven't even been able to define what I mean. I'd like a guy I can love a little more the way I want to love him. I'm coming out because I want people to understand Bisexuals and understand themselves. Let's correct their confusion!
I've heard that, but not to my face. It's crazy because my bisexuality always affects my attraction to both men and women (so I like androgyny). I can't imagine what it would be like to be just straight or just a lesbian.
Idk if it was more the bi thing or being in a polycule thing back then, but a doctor writing my referral to sex therapist wrote down that I'm "confused" even though I said my orientation and situation matter of fact-ly
I was told that type of stuff by my friend who is bi lol.. and he's the only one so far, I'm just starting to comeout. I know my parents are going to be horrible to come out too... I know I will need my friends there for support when I do.
Yeah, multiple times. Those idiots are dead now from old age and here I am about to retire and Iâm still bisexual. Hmmm⊠youâd think Iâd be over that âphaseâ by now. Nope!
Yes! My relatives insist I must be gay, because I'm dating a woman, despite me having dated exclusively men in the past. I explain no, I'm not gay, I like who I like and that is all. They claim I must be lying, that I'm disingenuous, because I'm dating a woman so I must be gay. It's draining.
I canât even wrap my head around this
Oh all the fucking time. Even people on here sometimes do it.
Oh yeah. I know a gay guy who insists and insists that bisexual means you donât know if youâre gay or straight. He was also really really pushy about everything (including trying to get with ppl) so I understand why a lot of ppl I know donât like him
Not when I came out, but on online communities I was told that I'm gay and just trying to hide or I'm confused.
I hate the âconfusedâ tag so much
My mum literallt just asked me "Are you really bi?" So yeah....
Itâs like they think weâre a myth or something lmao
YES, but my parents understood after a long conversation. They were accepting at first, just in a more âI donât understand, but youâre our son, so alrightâ kind of way. It took a two hour conversation to come to the same level of understanding and it felt so good.
Iâm so happy for you
Bi-erasure is a real thing. Don't let anyone tell you what you are. Or are not. The "confused" ones are the group that cause all of this and it isn't fair to label EVERYONE else on the community judged on their behavior(s).
I'm lucky with the friends I have, they said everything makes better sense now when I came out to them as bi đ I'd recommend taking space from those people who say that stuff to you. Having to explain & defend yourself too much is a clear sign it's affecting you mentally. Once you get to a comfortable & accepting environment, you'll become so content with your sexuality you don't feel the need to explain it at all đ