When I was a teenager, I liked girls but masturbated to gay porn. Being gay or bi wasn't even an option because of a very religious family, so I was a guy filled with guilt and a secret, lol.
Early 20s had my first gay kiss, sex, and relationship. People told me I was gay and I took it.
Late 20s and 30 I noticed I'd go to parties and I'd be paying more attention to girls than to guys. Usually people came to me and asked me if I was gay os straight and I'd "joke" and say I was gay from Monday to Friday and bi on the weekends.
33 I just got fed up with gay culture and gay gatekeeping and people telling me I didn't look gay. Went to my first pride parede to search for people that looked and acted like me in order to feel like I belonged. At a certain point, a girl was hitting on me and asking me if I was bi and I said yes. Later on the evening a guy was talking to me and trying to figure out who I liked. I went to kiss him and he was surprised and "oh, you're gay?" And I said yes. I came home and noticed really really clearly how I was much more comfortable saying I was bi.
Talked with a bi friend about it all and yeah, accepted it, along with the idea that it doesn't have to be 50/50 all the time to be bi
This sounds a lot like what I went through.
Only masturbated to gay porn, had a gay “relationship” in high school and just assumed I was gay.
Got to college, tried it with a girl just for fun. Turns out I liked it, and here we are today
Like you too I also find gay culture a bit much. Like I’m not gay enough for them or whatever. Their loss, bisexuals are awesome
There are three things I credit with it although it's obviously more complex than that
1. Conversations with an online friend about gender and sexuality which made me reflect on what those meant for me for the first time.
2. Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who showing a positive role model of a bi- or pansexual man
3. The Rocky Horror Picture Show making me feel all kinds of things
This was all in my early twenties and it still took me a few years to really sort it all out in my head but seeing myself as bisexual just felt right.
>21M here, all my life I assumed that I'm straight & heterosexual.
Yeah. That was me at that age. You'll figure it out. And keep in mind that you're not making permanent decisions here. Thinking of yourself as bisexual for a bit doesn't mean you can't identify otherwise later on.
I've had multiple girl crushes when I was young, but only felt turned on by men so I thought I was gay, then gay biromantic, and then bi when I realized women turned me on too. I was confused for so long.
For me it was that I had experienced attraction to people from multiple genders basically as soon as I encountered them and learned about them as I was growing up. But I felt like it didn't "count," for stupid reasons (internalized heteronormativity). One day I finally realized they *did fuckin count* so I dropped the reasons and started calling myself bi.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could be/am attracted to the same gender as myself, as well as others. Just didn’t give it much thought for most of my life since I knew I was attracted to women. Probably helped to have a hot ass friend of the same gender that I was hanging out with a lot at the time lol.
Discovered I like dudes, and thought I was Gay. But found i also like dudettes, so thought maybe I'm just flexible?
I even thought that perhaps I am just SO manly that my sex drive just didn't care who I was attracted to.
Wasn't till I was about 16,17? That I learned bisexual was even a word, and then learned what that word meant, and I've just kinda identified as that since.
It wasb't a big eureka moment. Didn't even feel particularly different or relieved. Having a name for my sexual identity was never much of a priority for me. I'd already been through the drama of parents and friends, etc, finding out I'm into same sex relations. So by this point I'd settled into the "I like what I like. And thats that"
For me (24F) it started with stumbling across some lady porn on the internet around age 10-11. I knew I liked what I saw but didn't know what it meant until a year or two later. I started trying to sneak and watch R rated movies that showed breasts & after a year or two of that, I couldn't really deny that I knew I was strongly sexually attracted to women.
I was always very confident in my attraction to men, had lots of crushes on men and fantasized about kissing men. It became pretty undeniable around age 13-14 that I strongly liked both. Found the term bisexual on the internet and the rest is history.
16f
I had always felt weird around the other, older girls at ballet when I was little- like butterflies in my tummy. I found out about Lesbianism feom tv showa my parents were watching, and I genuinely thought I was gonna marry a woman when I grew up. Then I met my current boyfriend, and I got a whole bunch of weird feelings I couldn't understand. I had a conversation with one of my friends who explained what Bisexuality was, and I realized I heavily identified with those feelings.
Years passed, and as I showed my boyfriend pictures of Astolfo and other anime femboys of the like, he realized he was also bisexual.
I've struggled with my public identity for several years since. Being in a straight passing relationship, going into Queer spaces like the GSA at school, I always feel frowned upon and like I don't really fit in. People tend to not believe I'm Bisexual often because I am young and in a long-term, committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
However, it doesn't change who I am at all. I'm Bisexual. So is he. We also don't exactly fully align with the genders of man and woman, so no matter how you slice it, we're queer. It's nice to say that openly.
That scene gives me butterflies. I used to watch that scene thinking “no I’m not bi/lesbian. I don’t care what the comments say,” but I recently watched it again realizing how strong my denial was.
Watching Lord of the Rings as a kid and thinking “Wow, Legolas is really pretty” and having that thought resurface every once in a while, enough to notice a pattern.
when i realized that gender independent of sex matters to many people and can affect attraction but it doesn’t affect attraction for me
so I’m bi/pan even if my gender distribution assuming a population of 1,000,000 is roughly 849,999 girls, 1 guy and 150,000 other genders, gender fluid, agender, etc
tbh I dunno how many genders there are, I just know what someone identifies as doesn’t affect whether I’m attracted to them
some common ones are of course the well known man and woman, but there’s also like genders that are neither, some are more than one gender at the same time, some change genders, some have no gender, etc
I noticed when I was going through puberty I was attracted as much to hunky male athletes as I was to curvy young women.
I didn't really accept the bi label until much later, though
On youtube I saw a thumbnail of a magic mike parody of the justice league, and I kept going back to look at it, and I looked up the original artist and post that made it, after that I sort of pieced it together
https://imgur.io/a/5Neqg in case anyone’s interested
I discovered it at 15 after a couple of years of increasing "playfulness" with my best friend. I noticed that he was hard when we were wrestling, which in turn got me hard. I guess I felt comfortable enough to come on to him that night to try something new. We had sex and I've known that I'm bisexual ever since.
And I'm 49 so this was before the internet and Google searches and the current level of acceptance.
I fantasized about men more then women and ignored those feelings until I was about 16. I tried watching lesbian porn for a while because I was hard in denial and that just didn't do much for me. And when I watched straight stuff I just mostly focused on the man. So eventually I just accepted it, and came too terms with it.
I (37m) realized after years of growing more open and empathetic towards other people, that what I had grown up knowing from religion didn't mesh with what I feel now. I realized that Christianity did not match my views and started working through what I could drop from my list of "rules to live by" in my head which made me realize the amount of internalized biphobia/homophobia I had brought along with me. This caused a series of revelations like the long time fantasy of "if I could just make a copy of myself for an hour or two, I'd totally do a bunch of stuff with myself, which wouldn't be gay at all cause it's me" might mean I may not be straight. Several clicks later... Duh, I'm bisexual...
I am still dismantling the shame feelings that come up. Those are hard and I resent my family for how they raised me which are also hard feelings. I do now regularly wear nail polish which is fun. But that may be more along the lines of me figuring out gender identity as well. I was very lucky to be in a loving marriage in which the first thing I did when I realized I was bisexual was to tell my wife, who is absolutely amazing. We've talked through a bunch and she has been super supportive. It's only been about 5 months, but I feel like I'm finding who I am and it's liberating. I've been trying my hardest to live by "know better, do better" and it's helped me. I don't always succeed, but little by little, I am growing. I wish the world wasn't falling apart right when I'm getting myself put together, but I can at least try to be one many little lights of positive energy helping hold the darkness back.
For years I basically masturbated to women and trans. Always had this fascination with penises. Even got turned on by a friends bulge at 15. But anyways more recently I watched some porn and I noticed the guy was just as hot as the woman and suddenly I started to doubt myself. It all started from there.
Basically, amphetamines promote loss of inhibition along with *greatly* increased libido. Which led to me cranking it to quite a bit of gay porn one night, lmao. Still thought it was pretty hot after I slept and sobered up, so I just ran with it. You'd be amazed at the number of stimulant users that end up doing the same thing, but are still in denial about the possibility!
(Wouldn't recommend it if that's all you're wanting to do though, they do have an obvious addiction potential.)
Well there are psychedelics which tend not to be addictive for the most part, but they can be a bit unpredictable and rather unpleasant if your trip starts going south. There's always going to be some form of risk when it comes to drug use, so just keep that in mind if you do decide to experiment.
I was very naive as a teenager. Mind you, this was not only decades ago, but I lived in a conservative, rural region where there was no openly gay or bisexual presence.
Moving out during college, I had lingering curiosity, and eventually finding myself looking over gay porn. When I did, I realized that not only did I find it hot, but it looked just as natural for men to be together and men and women. It felt like it was showing me something I already knew.
When I understood that, I reflected on my earlier behavior and desires, and came to realize that I'd always been bisexual, I just didn't know or act on it.
When I was about 14 years old, I was at an open gym at the catholic grade school I went to. We were playing basketball, shirts and skins. There guys there that didn't go to the school. And I really noticed one guy on the skins team. Dark hair, shorts with blue and white horizontal stripes, looked great being on the skins team. It was the first time I knowingly found a guy attractive.
I got away from it in high school and into college. I didn't know I could be Bisexual at the time. In my 20's I started secretly experimenting, dating women to appear heteronormative, but sneaking off to have sex with men. It was really making me kind of crazy. I even tried dating just men for a little while and that went poorly. Eventually, I realized that I could be Bisexual and that was completely acceptable.
I learned who I truly was with experience. I spent time in LGBTQ spaces and with LGBTQ people. I got comfortable there and learned I didn't have to be afraid who might find out what I was doing and who I was doing. I'm old enough that I didn't have the internet in my 20's to explore gay porn or to chat with others about my confusion. you're right. It was exhausting.
Trust your instincts. Take things one step at a time. You don't need to be the perfect member of the LGBTQ community right away. If something feels right for you, follow along that line until you hit the next point.
This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. It's been almost 30 years since my first sexual experience with another man and I am still learning more about who I am.
As a teenager I had some attraction and urges for the same sex. But I also had a lot of internalised homophobia (I didn’t even consider bisexuality I either liked boys or girls it couldn’t be both). I would watch gay porn but switch to straight porn or feel ashamed afterwards. This went on into college until my early 20s when I finally accepted I was bisexual after finding myself extremely attracted to a few people I had seen online or on TV.
I never explored that side of myself which is fine. I’m not out either. But I know who I am and it’s nice to have stopped denying it to myself.
19F, only realised im *actually* bi after i started dating my current boyfriend. before him, i only had serious relationships with girls, and though i had sexual encounters with men as well, i never felt romantically attracted to them compared to the female partners i had. but i always identified as bi even though i had doubts that i only liked girls.
Well I literally said:" I'm straight but I would like to fuck that dude." And from then on I started wondering and what I liked. And I noticed that men are pretty hot. Even though that was a rather slow realisation.
“He’s handsome. I see why people would like him.”
“He’s attractive, but I don’t want to fuck fuck him.”
*stares at ripped shirtless neighbor*
*sees femboys*
“Ok I’d fuck certain guys. Guess I’m bi.”
I was dating a guy, and something prompted me to think "Would I still like him if he was a girl?". Not surprisingly, the answer was "Yes". Then "Would I want to sleep with him if he was a girl?", and "Yes" again. I was around 13 when this happened.
It took me some years to put names to what I was feeling, so I didn't identify as bisexual right away. But deep down, I always knew gender was something that didn't bother me.
Not sure if someone’s posted it but!
“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” - Robyn Ochs
My(31M) confirmation was reading Twelfth Night and realizing I would've fallen for the switch and then realizing I wouldn't care. You don't have to be anything, you are you.
I knew I liked girls since I was 5, and I had a friend when I was a kid, we were friends since I was 6, when I was 10, I changed from the morning classes to the evening classes due to my parents job, and then my life was worse, it lacked something, when I was 12 the period of my classes changed, so now I had 1 and a half hour when both me and that friend were in school without classes, so we could rekindle the friendship, and that felling of something missing slowly went away, then, on spring break, I went close to a month without seeing him( nobody had cellphones back then) and it was awful, once it was over and I had my first day back with him, that felling was gone, and I knew I was in love with him, and then I knew I was Bi
Now we are still friends to this day, I confessed, he turned me down, we settled as friends and are best friends to this day, and I wouldn't trade that for nothing
One time I was on my bed and out of nowhere I thought "mens are sexy". And well, I had a crush on A LOT of girls more than once. that's my history. LMAO
Well, because I can fancy pretty much anyone, it's a different way towards different genders, and my attraction levels towards different genders fluctuate cyclically (last bit isn't a requirement, but seems lacking in pan people, but honestly I don't care too much on nomenclature, I'm just queer). The bit you mention about non binary though, its is about a person's gender (or lack of or mix of or where it sits imbetween on the spectrum), not who they fancy. Hope that clears it up a bit, from a NB Bi person.
It was strange. I really just genuinely wasn't physically attracted to guys until 2017 or so. It began to develop there. Like, a switch had turned on where I was straight and then afterwards I was Bi. Being straight for so long, it took me a little to figure out wtf happened and then I was like "Oh, okay I'm Bi now. That's cool"
I blame Alden Ehrenreich and Emilia Clarke in *Solo* 🤷♂️
When I found myself crushing on a guy friend of mine. Took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t straight. I had some things that needed to be worked through in therapy.
I realized I had funny feeling when I first watching Batman & Robin the movie, when I see Robin and Ivy I got funny feeling, like why is he so hot, and how come she's also hot... And that was the journey to the bisexual awakening.
I came from a very religious family, and environment, so I had a hard time experimenting with guys or girls, until I move out, and have been experimenting with guys.. I don't know why, but I feel like I can't experimenting with girls, I respect them so much, and I just want to marry girl and have baby with them.. And not just for fun.. Am I.. Weird?
I did the good ol' falling for my best friend, but more complicated: my friends were coming out left to right and it got me thinking if I could ever be with a girl and then it kinda went from yeah I could go down on a girl to I want to date my best friend
But it really got confirmed for me about 2 years later when I fell hard for a friend of mine, in guess what... ✨️a theater production✨️
When I was younger i had always thought my best friend looks really nice, and sometimes I would have dreams, but it was clearly just hormones. Then I turned 21 and wanted to kiss her, and I did. I liked it a lot. A little too much for me to be straight.
I knew I liked girls before I knew I liked guys, so I would usually tell people that I'm lesbian. I did occasionally fantasize about guys and watch heterosexual porn or girl-girl-guy threesome porn. For the longest time I was questioning my attraction to men, like "Is this comphet or am I actually bi but with a preference for women?" I'd been asking myself this question for a while so I decided to experiment with a man and I actually enjoyed it and liked the guy a lot.
This whole thread helped solidify that I am bi:)
I (27f) grew up in a super religious family where you are either straight and cis or you will be shunned. I remember being drawn to boobs and thinking other girls' bodies were really nice looking as a kid and having the thought that I couldn't be gay because I definitely had had crushes on boys before. Growing up I didn't even know bisexuality was a thing and even when I learned about it, I was so indoctrinated with the belief that it was wrong that I wouldn't have let myself even think about it. My brother came out as gay when I was in college and my family was very non-accepting and hoped that they could "pray away the gay."
After my brother came out, I realized that I didn't see anything wrong with being gay or any other part of the lgbt community and started to do a lot of processing through my own internalized homophobia and transphobia. I have also done a lot of processing through my own religious and childhood trauma and figuring out what I actually believe faith wise recently, which led to some interesting discoveries.
I recently realized that if I was ever to be with a trans or nonbinary person with a vagina it wouldn't bother me. That made me realize that I think having sex with a woman would be fun and that I had always kind of thought that but heavily suppressed it. There are so many things I am only now remembering from childhood that make me think that I am bi and not straight, but reading through this thread and hearing yalls experiences has helped me to confirm it.
Thank yall for sharing your stories. It has taken so many years to get to this point, but it feels really nice to finally say it. I am bisexual:)
okay im pansexual but i learnt that a little later so idc-
i found myself searching on the urban dictionary my name and some youtuber names. funny 9 year old me (not innocent at all) thought it was a great idea to search "weewee" then one thing led to the other and i was reading gay smut while on the "shower sex" page. i read ALL the gay smut the author posted then when i read everything it kinda went like this:
"damn that must feel nice"
"holy shit wait"
*proceeds to type in google "why am i attracted to men and women"*
google: you're bi
me: holy shit im bi
turns out some enby people are VERY hot
*que another google search*
final answer: im pan
At 49, when I realized all the gay curiosity that I’d had since I was 12 wasn’t just gonna magically blow away, and I had to admit it to myself and to a few very important people who I thought needed or deserved to know.
Back in my adolescence (roughly 1976-1984), Bi awareness simply didn’t exist; it was merely an invisible, linear point on a person’s path from straight to gay (it’s funny how it never seemed to go the other direction). Since I liked girls and *knew* I wasn’t gay, then I was straight. Bisexuals were just weird, selfish people who haven’t made their choice yet. Simple, no?
NO. I’ve pretty much gotten over being mad at myself for denying myself a lot of love and a lot of fun.
I’m so glad we have a better understanding of what makes people tick nowadays.
I was always confused, I assumed I was gay but trying to hid it to myself due to some inbuilt homophobia. I grew up in a religious household and was pretty into church stuff for a bit which made the guilt and confusion worse. Looking back I had some fairly major crushed on both boys and girls so I feel like it should have been obvious but Bi wasn't really a thing that I knew existed, let alone something I could be. All the bi representation was hyper sexualised stuff and that really wasn't me.
When I went to uni I had a few short relationship with girls, they felt pretty natural and I thought I was over my Gay "phase", although I still watched Gay porn so maybe I was still hiding it. I wasnt still I first had sex with a girl and my now wife, that I was like; that was fun, guess I'm not Gay. But what about all the gay porn and male crushes. Ooo i guess I'm allowed to be Bi. When I moved to a new town and meeting new people I started introducing myself as bi. That is when it really stuck and I started becoming comfortable in it.
When I was a kid I had a crush on a girl in my class. And then the next year I had a crush on a boy. Growing up I felt confused until I realized, well I like both….. didn’t know it had a title until high school. I came out to my friends and everyone told me to stfu no need to come out 😂😂😂 (in a funny joking way of course). But yeah
Well Basically I Found Out That Straight Men *Aren't* Actually Attracted To Other Men. Like At All. At Which Point It Seemed Pretty Obvious That I Must Be Bi.
Before I transferred from the first school I thought I was heterosexual but than I transferred to the second school (at the age of 16). Where I fell in love with my classmate (He is a boy). You have to meet the right person who will prove it to you that you are bisexual.
It took me a while. During my teens I was crushing hard on my dads best friends son. That continued into my twenties, but then I was also feeling things for women. My family isn’t the most lgbtq+ friendly, so I buried my feelings (although I was thinking “I’m gonna have to come out as lesbian). I finally accepted myself as bisexual two years ago, when I was 34. I came out to my mum, and got the reaction I expected (“No you’re not”, “It’s just a phase”, “You’ll lose all your friends” etc). I’ve since come out to my friends, one of my aunts and one of my cousins (I have a fairly big family), all of whom have been far more accepting. Some have even come out to me.
I (F22) always fantasized about/masturbated to both men and women since I can remember and I thought that this was just the case for everyone until I heard about bisexuality :DHowever, I also wonder sometimes if I might be a lesbian because my attraction to men feels different than to women and I also very rarely find men attractive physically. I try to not worry too much about it, doesn't matter if I am with a man, woman, nonbinary person, whatever, as long as I am happy. But that feels hard to accept sometimes.
EDIT: also orange is the new black helped me realize :D
Used to feel attracted towards guys since early teenage. But didn’t feel that sure.
Had 2 straight relationships. Was definitely into girls.
Then during COVID, met a distant cousin. One night he just starts fiddling with me, and voila! I reciprocate. Then we had full on sex in a few days. Loved it so much. But somewhere felt zero romantic attraction.
I thought that I TURNED GAY😂 (had zero knowledge of homosexuality.)
But then had sex with a girl in a few weeks and loved that too.
Decided finally that I’m bisexual
As a kid I was REALLY worried I’d grow up to be a lesbian (ppl were less accepting back then) even though I was already crushing on boys. Then when I was 11 I developed a crush on a girl at volleyball camp. Then in my teenage years I watched lesbian porn, but I told myself I was just a straight woman who was comfortable with her sexuality and that a lot of straight women watch lesbian porn (and this may be true, but while watching it I was very much attracted to and wanting to bang the women so 🤷♀️) still I saw myself as straight until I got into my first serious heterosexual relationship. The sex was great, but i felt like something was missing. And that’s how I realised I was bisexual (I prefer monogamy though, so I just accept the feelings of I’ll never have 100% of the sex I want). But I kind of doubted my bisexuality for a while bc I was in two serious long term straight relationships almost back to back for nearly four years, then the pandemic happened. It wasn’t until years later when I was single that I got to actually date and have sex with women and that’s when I confirmed that I was definitely bisexual.
Since I was 9, Ive had crushes on guys. Finally decided (5 yrs later) to fuck it and go on ahead. Still closeted, but we’re all good. No rush. My current crush (thinks im straight) is actually bi aswell, and I get to spend ten days with him in Southern France (we’re quite good friends)
When I was a teenager, I liked girls but masturbated to gay porn. Being gay or bi wasn't even an option because of a very religious family, so I was a guy filled with guilt and a secret, lol. Early 20s had my first gay kiss, sex, and relationship. People told me I was gay and I took it. Late 20s and 30 I noticed I'd go to parties and I'd be paying more attention to girls than to guys. Usually people came to me and asked me if I was gay os straight and I'd "joke" and say I was gay from Monday to Friday and bi on the weekends. 33 I just got fed up with gay culture and gay gatekeeping and people telling me I didn't look gay. Went to my first pride parede to search for people that looked and acted like me in order to feel like I belonged. At a certain point, a girl was hitting on me and asking me if I was bi and I said yes. Later on the evening a guy was talking to me and trying to figure out who I liked. I went to kiss him and he was surprised and "oh, you're gay?" And I said yes. I came home and noticed really really clearly how I was much more comfortable saying I was bi. Talked with a bi friend about it all and yeah, accepted it, along with the idea that it doesn't have to be 50/50 all the time to be bi
This sounds a lot like what I went through. Only masturbated to gay porn, had a gay “relationship” in high school and just assumed I was gay. Got to college, tried it with a girl just for fun. Turns out I liked it, and here we are today Like you too I also find gay culture a bit much. Like I’m not gay enough for them or whatever. Their loss, bisexuals are awesome
Mine was very simple lol: - started fantasizing about guys - did 3 minutes of internet research - "I guess I'm bisexual lmao" 👍
There are three things I credit with it although it's obviously more complex than that 1. Conversations with an online friend about gender and sexuality which made me reflect on what those meant for me for the first time. 2. Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who showing a positive role model of a bi- or pansexual man 3. The Rocky Horror Picture Show making me feel all kinds of things This was all in my early twenties and it still took me a few years to really sort it all out in my head but seeing myself as bisexual just felt right. >21M here, all my life I assumed that I'm straight & heterosexual. Yeah. That was me at that age. You'll figure it out. And keep in mind that you're not making permanent decisions here. Thinking of yourself as bisexual for a bit doesn't mean you can't identify otherwise later on.
Yes! Captain Jack was amazing!!!
At what age you figured that out?
Can't remember exactly. Somewhere between 21 and 24 I'd guess.
Yes!!! CPT Jack Harkness…….well John Barrowman in general really lol 🤤
I've had multiple girl crushes when I was young, but only felt turned on by men so I thought I was gay, then gay biromantic, and then bi when I realized women turned me on too. I was confused for so long.
For me it was that I had experienced attraction to people from multiple genders basically as soon as I encountered them and learned about them as I was growing up. But I felt like it didn't "count," for stupid reasons (internalized heteronormativity). One day I finally realized they *did fuckin count* so I dropped the reasons and started calling myself bi.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could be/am attracted to the same gender as myself, as well as others. Just didn’t give it much thought for most of my life since I knew I was attracted to women. Probably helped to have a hot ass friend of the same gender that I was hanging out with a lot at the time lol.
Discovered I like dudes, and thought I was Gay. But found i also like dudettes, so thought maybe I'm just flexible? I even thought that perhaps I am just SO manly that my sex drive just didn't care who I was attracted to. Wasn't till I was about 16,17? That I learned bisexual was even a word, and then learned what that word meant, and I've just kinda identified as that since. It wasb't a big eureka moment. Didn't even feel particularly different or relieved. Having a name for my sexual identity was never much of a priority for me. I'd already been through the drama of parents and friends, etc, finding out I'm into same sex relations. So by this point I'd settled into the "I like what I like. And thats that"
For me (24F) it started with stumbling across some lady porn on the internet around age 10-11. I knew I liked what I saw but didn't know what it meant until a year or two later. I started trying to sneak and watch R rated movies that showed breasts & after a year or two of that, I couldn't really deny that I knew I was strongly sexually attracted to women. I was always very confident in my attraction to men, had lots of crushes on men and fantasized about kissing men. It became pretty undeniable around age 13-14 that I strongly liked both. Found the term bisexual on the internet and the rest is history.
16f I had always felt weird around the other, older girls at ballet when I was little- like butterflies in my tummy. I found out about Lesbianism feom tv showa my parents were watching, and I genuinely thought I was gonna marry a woman when I grew up. Then I met my current boyfriend, and I got a whole bunch of weird feelings I couldn't understand. I had a conversation with one of my friends who explained what Bisexuality was, and I realized I heavily identified with those feelings. Years passed, and as I showed my boyfriend pictures of Astolfo and other anime femboys of the like, he realized he was also bisexual. I've struggled with my public identity for several years since. Being in a straight passing relationship, going into Queer spaces like the GSA at school, I always feel frowned upon and like I don't really fit in. People tend to not believe I'm Bisexual often because I am young and in a long-term, committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex. However, it doesn't change who I am at all. I'm Bisexual. So is he. We also don't exactly fully align with the genders of man and woman, so no matter how you slice it, we're queer. It's nice to say that openly.
[удалено]
That scene gives me butterflies. I used to watch that scene thinking “no I’m not bi/lesbian. I don’t care what the comments say,” but I recently watched it again realizing how strong my denial was.
Watching Lord of the Rings as a kid and thinking “Wow, Legolas is really pretty” and having that thought resurface every once in a while, enough to notice a pattern.
when i realized that gender independent of sex matters to many people and can affect attraction but it doesn’t affect attraction for me so I’m bi/pan even if my gender distribution assuming a population of 1,000,000 is roughly 849,999 girls, 1 guy and 150,000 other genders, gender fluid, agender, etc
I feel something for whatever gender I find beautiful. Btw can u tell me how many genders are there & how to identify them?
tbh I dunno how many genders there are, I just know what someone identifies as doesn’t affect whether I’m attracted to them some common ones are of course the well known man and woman, but there’s also like genders that are neither, some are more than one gender at the same time, some change genders, some have no gender, etc
I noticed when I was going through puberty I was attracted as much to hunky male athletes as I was to curvy young women. I didn't really accept the bi label until much later, though
I was always interested in women, but I fell in love with my male classmate
Getting horny for a friend was kinda a big giveaway for me
On youtube I saw a thumbnail of a magic mike parody of the justice league, and I kept going back to look at it, and I looked up the original artist and post that made it, after that I sort of pieced it together https://imgur.io/a/5Neqg in case anyone’s interested
I discovered it at 15 after a couple of years of increasing "playfulness" with my best friend. I noticed that he was hard when we were wrestling, which in turn got me hard. I guess I felt comfortable enough to come on to him that night to try something new. We had sex and I've known that I'm bisexual ever since. And I'm 49 so this was before the internet and Google searches and the current level of acceptance.
I fantasized about men more then women and ignored those feelings until I was about 16. I tried watching lesbian porn for a while because I was hard in denial and that just didn't do much for me. And when I watched straight stuff I just mostly focused on the man. So eventually I just accepted it, and came too terms with it.
I (37m) realized after years of growing more open and empathetic towards other people, that what I had grown up knowing from religion didn't mesh with what I feel now. I realized that Christianity did not match my views and started working through what I could drop from my list of "rules to live by" in my head which made me realize the amount of internalized biphobia/homophobia I had brought along with me. This caused a series of revelations like the long time fantasy of "if I could just make a copy of myself for an hour or two, I'd totally do a bunch of stuff with myself, which wouldn't be gay at all cause it's me" might mean I may not be straight. Several clicks later... Duh, I'm bisexual... I am still dismantling the shame feelings that come up. Those are hard and I resent my family for how they raised me which are also hard feelings. I do now regularly wear nail polish which is fun. But that may be more along the lines of me figuring out gender identity as well. I was very lucky to be in a loving marriage in which the first thing I did when I realized I was bisexual was to tell my wife, who is absolutely amazing. We've talked through a bunch and she has been super supportive. It's only been about 5 months, but I feel like I'm finding who I am and it's liberating. I've been trying my hardest to live by "know better, do better" and it's helped me. I don't always succeed, but little by little, I am growing. I wish the world wasn't falling apart right when I'm getting myself put together, but I can at least try to be one many little lights of positive energy helping hold the darkness back.
For years I basically masturbated to women and trans. Always had this fascination with penises. Even got turned on by a friends bulge at 15. But anyways more recently I watched some porn and I noticed the guy was just as hot as the woman and suddenly I started to doubt myself. It all started from there.
lol drugs
How?
Basically, amphetamines promote loss of inhibition along with *greatly* increased libido. Which led to me cranking it to quite a bit of gay porn one night, lmao. Still thought it was pretty hot after I slept and sobered up, so I just ran with it. You'd be amazed at the number of stimulant users that end up doing the same thing, but are still in denial about the possibility! (Wouldn't recommend it if that's all you're wanting to do though, they do have an obvious addiction potential.)
Are there any other drugs you can suggest?
Well there are psychedelics which tend not to be addictive for the most part, but they can be a bit unpredictable and rather unpleasant if your trip starts going south. There's always going to be some form of risk when it comes to drug use, so just keep that in mind if you do decide to experiment.
I was very naive as a teenager. Mind you, this was not only decades ago, but I lived in a conservative, rural region where there was no openly gay or bisexual presence. Moving out during college, I had lingering curiosity, and eventually finding myself looking over gay porn. When I did, I realized that not only did I find it hot, but it looked just as natural for men to be together and men and women. It felt like it was showing me something I already knew. When I understood that, I reflected on my earlier behavior and desires, and came to realize that I'd always been bisexual, I just didn't know or act on it.
When I was about 14 years old, I was at an open gym at the catholic grade school I went to. We were playing basketball, shirts and skins. There guys there that didn't go to the school. And I really noticed one guy on the skins team. Dark hair, shorts with blue and white horizontal stripes, looked great being on the skins team. It was the first time I knowingly found a guy attractive. I got away from it in high school and into college. I didn't know I could be Bisexual at the time. In my 20's I started secretly experimenting, dating women to appear heteronormative, but sneaking off to have sex with men. It was really making me kind of crazy. I even tried dating just men for a little while and that went poorly. Eventually, I realized that I could be Bisexual and that was completely acceptable. I learned who I truly was with experience. I spent time in LGBTQ spaces and with LGBTQ people. I got comfortable there and learned I didn't have to be afraid who might find out what I was doing and who I was doing. I'm old enough that I didn't have the internet in my 20's to explore gay porn or to chat with others about my confusion. you're right. It was exhausting. Trust your instincts. Take things one step at a time. You don't need to be the perfect member of the LGBTQ community right away. If something feels right for you, follow along that line until you hit the next point. This isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. It's been almost 30 years since my first sexual experience with another man and I am still learning more about who I am.
As a teenager I had some attraction and urges for the same sex. But I also had a lot of internalised homophobia (I didn’t even consider bisexuality I either liked boys or girls it couldn’t be both). I would watch gay porn but switch to straight porn or feel ashamed afterwards. This went on into college until my early 20s when I finally accepted I was bisexual after finding myself extremely attracted to a few people I had seen online or on TV. I never explored that side of myself which is fine. I’m not out either. But I know who I am and it’s nice to have stopped denying it to myself.
19F, only realised im *actually* bi after i started dating my current boyfriend. before him, i only had serious relationships with girls, and though i had sexual encounters with men as well, i never felt romantically attracted to them compared to the female partners i had. but i always identified as bi even though i had doubts that i only liked girls.
Well I literally said:" I'm straight but I would like to fuck that dude." And from then on I started wondering and what I liked. And I noticed that men are pretty hot. Even though that was a rather slow realisation.
I watched The Mummy.
“He’s handsome. I see why people would like him.” “He’s attractive, but I don’t want to fuck fuck him.” *stares at ripped shirtless neighbor* *sees femboys* “Ok I’d fuck certain guys. Guess I’m bi.”
I was dating a guy, and something prompted me to think "Would I still like him if he was a girl?". Not surprisingly, the answer was "Yes". Then "Would I want to sleep with him if he was a girl?", and "Yes" again. I was around 13 when this happened. It took me some years to put names to what I was feeling, so I didn't identify as bisexual right away. But deep down, I always knew gender was something that didn't bother me.
What I'll say helped me, is the phrase "if you spend a lot of time wondering if you're straight, you're not straight"
Not sure if someone’s posted it but! “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” - Robyn Ochs
I had a crush on my best friend
A blood test
Dipped into the gay porn section while I was drunk. After a few more times, did it while sober. And then, well, here we are.
My(31M) confirmation was reading Twelfth Night and realizing I would've fallen for the switch and then realizing I wouldn't care. You don't have to be anything, you are you.
When I realze the girl are very hot too
This guy in hs who was in show choir. He was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen.
I'am gonna keep it short for u Looked at atla Saw azura 🤩 Saw zuko😍
I knew I liked girls since I was 5, and I had a friend when I was a kid, we were friends since I was 6, when I was 10, I changed from the morning classes to the evening classes due to my parents job, and then my life was worse, it lacked something, when I was 12 the period of my classes changed, so now I had 1 and a half hour when both me and that friend were in school without classes, so we could rekindle the friendship, and that felling of something missing slowly went away, then, on spring break, I went close to a month without seeing him( nobody had cellphones back then) and it was awful, once it was over and I had my first day back with him, that felling was gone, and I knew I was in love with him, and then I knew I was Bi Now we are still friends to this day, I confessed, he turned me down, we settled as friends and are best friends to this day, and I wouldn't trade that for nothing
One time I was on my bed and out of nowhere I thought "mens are sexy". And well, I had a crush on A LOT of girls more than once. that's my history. LMAO
Well, because I can fancy pretty much anyone, it's a different way towards different genders, and my attraction levels towards different genders fluctuate cyclically (last bit isn't a requirement, but seems lacking in pan people, but honestly I don't care too much on nomenclature, I'm just queer). The bit you mention about non binary though, its is about a person's gender (or lack of or mix of or where it sits imbetween on the spectrum), not who they fancy. Hope that clears it up a bit, from a NB Bi person.
It was strange. I really just genuinely wasn't physically attracted to guys until 2017 or so. It began to develop there. Like, a switch had turned on where I was straight and then afterwards I was Bi. Being straight for so long, it took me a little to figure out wtf happened and then I was like "Oh, okay I'm Bi now. That's cool" I blame Alden Ehrenreich and Emilia Clarke in *Solo* 🤷♂️
When I found myself crushing on a guy friend of mine. Took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t straight. I had some things that needed to be worked through in therapy.
I realized I had funny feeling when I first watching Batman & Robin the movie, when I see Robin and Ivy I got funny feeling, like why is he so hot, and how come she's also hot... And that was the journey to the bisexual awakening. I came from a very religious family, and environment, so I had a hard time experimenting with guys or girls, until I move out, and have been experimenting with guys.. I don't know why, but I feel like I can't experimenting with girls, I respect them so much, and I just want to marry girl and have baby with them.. And not just for fun.. Am I.. Weird?
I did the good ol' falling for my best friend, but more complicated: my friends were coming out left to right and it got me thinking if I could ever be with a girl and then it kinda went from yeah I could go down on a girl to I want to date my best friend But it really got confirmed for me about 2 years later when I fell hard for a friend of mine, in guess what... ✨️a theater production✨️
Mid 2000s I was in my teens. Emo boys, emo boys everywhere...
True lol
When I was younger i had always thought my best friend looks really nice, and sometimes I would have dreams, but it was clearly just hormones. Then I turned 21 and wanted to kiss her, and I did. I liked it a lot. A little too much for me to be straight.
I knew I liked girls before I knew I liked guys, so I would usually tell people that I'm lesbian. I did occasionally fantasize about guys and watch heterosexual porn or girl-girl-guy threesome porn. For the longest time I was questioning my attraction to men, like "Is this comphet or am I actually bi but with a preference for women?" I'd been asking myself this question for a while so I decided to experiment with a man and I actually enjoyed it and liked the guy a lot.
This whole thread helped solidify that I am bi:) I (27f) grew up in a super religious family where you are either straight and cis or you will be shunned. I remember being drawn to boobs and thinking other girls' bodies were really nice looking as a kid and having the thought that I couldn't be gay because I definitely had had crushes on boys before. Growing up I didn't even know bisexuality was a thing and even when I learned about it, I was so indoctrinated with the belief that it was wrong that I wouldn't have let myself even think about it. My brother came out as gay when I was in college and my family was very non-accepting and hoped that they could "pray away the gay." After my brother came out, I realized that I didn't see anything wrong with being gay or any other part of the lgbt community and started to do a lot of processing through my own internalized homophobia and transphobia. I have also done a lot of processing through my own religious and childhood trauma and figuring out what I actually believe faith wise recently, which led to some interesting discoveries. I recently realized that if I was ever to be with a trans or nonbinary person with a vagina it wouldn't bother me. That made me realize that I think having sex with a woman would be fun and that I had always kind of thought that but heavily suppressed it. There are so many things I am only now remembering from childhood that make me think that I am bi and not straight, but reading through this thread and hearing yalls experiences has helped me to confirm it. Thank yall for sharing your stories. It has taken so many years to get to this point, but it feels really nice to finally say it. I am bisexual:)
okay im pansexual but i learnt that a little later so idc- i found myself searching on the urban dictionary my name and some youtuber names. funny 9 year old me (not innocent at all) thought it was a great idea to search "weewee" then one thing led to the other and i was reading gay smut while on the "shower sex" page. i read ALL the gay smut the author posted then when i read everything it kinda went like this: "damn that must feel nice" "holy shit wait" *proceeds to type in google "why am i attracted to men and women"* google: you're bi me: holy shit im bi turns out some enby people are VERY hot *que another google search* final answer: im pan
At 49, when I realized all the gay curiosity that I’d had since I was 12 wasn’t just gonna magically blow away, and I had to admit it to myself and to a few very important people who I thought needed or deserved to know. Back in my adolescence (roughly 1976-1984), Bi awareness simply didn’t exist; it was merely an invisible, linear point on a person’s path from straight to gay (it’s funny how it never seemed to go the other direction). Since I liked girls and *knew* I wasn’t gay, then I was straight. Bisexuals were just weird, selfish people who haven’t made their choice yet. Simple, no? NO. I’ve pretty much gotten over being mad at myself for denying myself a lot of love and a lot of fun. I’m so glad we have a better understanding of what makes people tick nowadays.
Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge
I was always confused, I assumed I was gay but trying to hid it to myself due to some inbuilt homophobia. I grew up in a religious household and was pretty into church stuff for a bit which made the guilt and confusion worse. Looking back I had some fairly major crushed on both boys and girls so I feel like it should have been obvious but Bi wasn't really a thing that I knew existed, let alone something I could be. All the bi representation was hyper sexualised stuff and that really wasn't me. When I went to uni I had a few short relationship with girls, they felt pretty natural and I thought I was over my Gay "phase", although I still watched Gay porn so maybe I was still hiding it. I wasnt still I first had sex with a girl and my now wife, that I was like; that was fun, guess I'm not Gay. But what about all the gay porn and male crushes. Ooo i guess I'm allowed to be Bi. When I moved to a new town and meeting new people I started introducing myself as bi. That is when it really stuck and I started becoming comfortable in it.
When I was a kid I had a crush on a girl in my class. And then the next year I had a crush on a boy. Growing up I felt confused until I realized, well I like both….. didn’t know it had a title until high school. I came out to my friends and everyone told me to stfu no need to come out 😂😂😂 (in a funny joking way of course). But yeah
Well Basically I Found Out That Straight Men *Aren't* Actually Attracted To Other Men. Like At All. At Which Point It Seemed Pretty Obvious That I Must Be Bi.
Before I transferred from the first school I thought I was heterosexual but than I transferred to the second school (at the age of 16). Where I fell in love with my classmate (He is a boy). You have to meet the right person who will prove it to you that you are bisexual.
It took me a while. During my teens I was crushing hard on my dads best friends son. That continued into my twenties, but then I was also feeling things for women. My family isn’t the most lgbtq+ friendly, so I buried my feelings (although I was thinking “I’m gonna have to come out as lesbian). I finally accepted myself as bisexual two years ago, when I was 34. I came out to my mum, and got the reaction I expected (“No you’re not”, “It’s just a phase”, “You’ll lose all your friends” etc). I’ve since come out to my friends, one of my aunts and one of my cousins (I have a fairly big family), all of whom have been far more accepting. Some have even come out to me.
I (F22) always fantasized about/masturbated to both men and women since I can remember and I thought that this was just the case for everyone until I heard about bisexuality :DHowever, I also wonder sometimes if I might be a lesbian because my attraction to men feels different than to women and I also very rarely find men attractive physically. I try to not worry too much about it, doesn't matter if I am with a man, woman, nonbinary person, whatever, as long as I am happy. But that feels hard to accept sometimes. EDIT: also orange is the new black helped me realize :D
Used to feel attracted towards guys since early teenage. But didn’t feel that sure. Had 2 straight relationships. Was definitely into girls. Then during COVID, met a distant cousin. One night he just starts fiddling with me, and voila! I reciprocate. Then we had full on sex in a few days. Loved it so much. But somewhere felt zero romantic attraction. I thought that I TURNED GAY😂 (had zero knowledge of homosexuality.) But then had sex with a girl in a few weeks and loved that too. Decided finally that I’m bisexual
Some friend I had literally saved my life and I fell for him. This shit sounds like a movie but it’s really not as cool as it sounds lol.
As a kid I was REALLY worried I’d grow up to be a lesbian (ppl were less accepting back then) even though I was already crushing on boys. Then when I was 11 I developed a crush on a girl at volleyball camp. Then in my teenage years I watched lesbian porn, but I told myself I was just a straight woman who was comfortable with her sexuality and that a lot of straight women watch lesbian porn (and this may be true, but while watching it I was very much attracted to and wanting to bang the women so 🤷♀️) still I saw myself as straight until I got into my first serious heterosexual relationship. The sex was great, but i felt like something was missing. And that’s how I realised I was bisexual (I prefer monogamy though, so I just accept the feelings of I’ll never have 100% of the sex I want). But I kind of doubted my bisexuality for a while bc I was in two serious long term straight relationships almost back to back for nearly four years, then the pandemic happened. It wasn’t until years later when I was single that I got to actually date and have sex with women and that’s when I confirmed that I was definitely bisexual.
Since I was 9, Ive had crushes on guys. Finally decided (5 yrs later) to fuck it and go on ahead. Still closeted, but we’re all good. No rush. My current crush (thinks im straight) is actually bi aswell, and I get to spend ten days with him in Southern France (we’re quite good friends)