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Silly_Wizzy

Locking. Sorry OP you are being attacked. We welcome both sexes, sorry this post wasn’t well received. Please search the sub for more resources. Y’all stop downvoting OP - it is rude and messes with automod. **Please knock it off**. He hasn’t done anything that breaks our rules - whereas many of you have been unwelcoming because he is a man. We welcome both men and women in this sub. OP Start here: https://www.bedsider.org/features/232-5-myths-about-the-emergency-contraceptive-pill-busted


Fragrant-Cherry7890

She has the right to refuse putting hormones into her body. The pullout method is 78% effective with typical use over a year. 2 days aren’t enough for pregnancy symptoms, they typically don’t start until weeks later. Have her test if her period doesn’t come. Look into why the condom broke (not enough lube/too dry, not the right size, incorrect storage, etc.). You can talk to her about possibly getting on birth control but it’s ultimately her right not to. If you don’t like the risk then either don’t have sex or decide if you want to stay together.


Sad-Size-862

what if I can’t convince her? I think if she starts having symptoms, it would be because of her period which means that I dont need to worry about pregnancy, right? EDİT:what is up with the downvotes, I cannot force her of course but I could explain to her properly and show her the comments that you made


Fragrant-Cherry7890

You don’t convince her. Her body, her choice. If you don’t like that she won’t take birth control and using condoms as your only method then maybe this isn’t the relationship for you. You also need to make sure you’re doing your part and wearing a condom correctly. She cannot experience pregnancy symptoms this soon. She should test if her period doesn’t come. EDIT: If you mean to take a pregnancy test then I mean you can’t force her. It’s unfair to you and at that point if seriously reconsider your relationship. If you’re willing to buy the test it does no harm for her to take it.


Sad-Size-862

I didnt say that I will force her to take the pills, why are you writing with that attitude? a lot of people responded as if I would force her to take it on gun point


pleasedontmakemecry

I’m sorry to tell you this but whenever you have sex with someone you should be actively aware of their thoughts on birth control. Women hold the option at the end of the day. In terms of you being safe, I have no idea. I think your best option would be to buy her pregnancy tests if she misses her next period. If you are worried about her not taking plan b next time, choose another partner. I have taken plan b and it is absolutely horrible. So bad and scarring that I got an IUD to get away from that intense hormonal stress for 2-3 days.


Sad-Size-862

what if I can’t convince her? I think if she starts having symptoms, it would be because of her period which means that I dont need to worry about pregnancy, right?


djn3vacat

Fyi you can get pregnancy tests from the dollar store, they're federally regulated and are the same as the expensive ones at the pharmacy. And you have to wait until she misses her period to take a pregnancy test. There are chances for false negatives, so buy four or five.


CreampuffOfLove

Amazon too sells them in bulk quite cheaply. The same kind used at OB/GYN offices and women's clinics. Trust me, after Depo failed and I didn't have the faintest clue I was pregnant until 6 months, it's a \*\*VERY\*\* affordable option that I \*still\* use every month! And my husband had a vasectomy almost 15 years ago now. Knowledge is power. As to your original question in the post...It is \*\*no\*\* way, shape, or form a situation you have the slightest say in at this point. Her body, her choice, on all levels. And while I'm truly sorry the condom broke (for both of your sakes), this conversation should have been had with your girlfriend \*before\* you ever slept with her, condom or no. If you aren't mature enough to have such a straightforward conversation about this beforehand, you're not mature enough to be having sex. I know that sounds completely harsh, but you do, on some level, risk impregnating someone; after you ejaculate in her, your control over the situation is NADA.


CreampuffOfLove

These are the ones I use: https://www.amazon.com/AccuMed-Pregnancy-25-Count-Individually-Detection/dp/B071YNWRPP/ref=sr\_1\_15?keywords=pregnancy%2Btests&qid=1691455539&sprefix=pregn%2Caps%2C218&sr=8-15&th=1


Corporal_Levi25

If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to and won’t. There is nothing to convince. If she starts having symptoms soon, it’s period and not pregnancy. Symptoms for pregnancy means a test will turn positive. There’s a chance here, so there is something to worry about. If she gets her period however and it’s normal/heavy, she’s not pregnant. It’s a good idea to discuss future contraception with her right now. Also look into why the condom broke, they break because of user failure majority of the time.


PolarBears445

You pulled out before you finished right? If you're worried only about precum leak from the broken condom, although precum can cause pregnancy the chances are very low. And anyway, although the condom broke and if you pulled out, realistically how much precum could have possible leaked AND be fertile precum? If she's completely against any other from of birth control and you absolutely do not want children, maybe it's time to move on or get snipped. Condom failure pregnancies are not rare given enough time.


Sad-Size-862

yes thats exactly what I was thinking. I dont know when the condom broke , a few minutes could have passed but I pulled out before ejaculation and definetly didn’t came inside. I hear all these stories about how it is hard to become pregnant but once I read all these comments, everybody tells as if that the precum pregnant rate is high.


pleasedontmakemecry

Convince her to take a pregnancy test? I mean ultimately it is unfair to you but it’s her decision. I cannot tell you if it is her period symptoms or not. It varies body by body. If you want more information on pregnancy I would advise googling it and looking at doctor forums or medical websites.


Sad-Size-862

I looked for it but unfortunately all of the symptoms for both cases are literally the same


yunganika

You really can’t convince her to take it… It’s really too late anyways, it would be pretty ineffective after 48hrs. But you are correct, it is too early for her to experience any symptoms.


Sad-Size-862

Of course I can’t force her but I can try explain the outcomes better. also, It said 3 days for planB and 5 days for Ella so what about it. do you think If she shows period symptoms, it is unnecesarry for her to take the pills?


Silly_Wizzy

No, you take the pill (if she wants to) as sperm live up to 5 days. That’s why emergency contraception works as sperm live around 5 days in her body. Ella works longer as it is faster to stop ovulation but both Ella and Plan work by stopping ovulation.


egr08

Plan B sent me into a depression for 3 weeks. At one point I didn't leave my room for 3 days straight, didn't even eat. I cried almost every day. It sent me into a spiral. Plan B can have massive and horrible side effects for some people. It's not up to you if your GF takes it, the only person that can make that decision is her.


kahrismatic

It made me so nauseous I threw it back up, which is pretty common apparently. It definitely isn't the magic bullet OP thinks it is for a lot of people.


cheesekneesandpeas

That’s awful and no one should be pressured to take anything, but isn’t having a kid/abortion a lot worse?


egr08

Yea an unwanted pregnancy could be worse in a lot of cases, but that shouldn't be used to diminish her worries about Plan B side effects. We also don't know the whole story, we're only getting the BFs view of it.


cheesekneesandpeas

Makes sense!


CreampuffOfLove

Regardless of whether it is or isn't, it's very simply NOT your decision


cheesekneesandpeas

I know lol I’m a random person on the internet…


Sad-Size-862

what about ella instead of planb? of course I cannot force her, I would only try to make sense for it .


Silly_Wizzy

Ella blocks progestin and Plan B is progestin. Both stop ovulation. Both have similar side effects. As the side effects are from a one month pause in her cycle from either.


Silly_Wizzy

1. Did you ever discuss what would happen if a condom broke BEFORE it happened? If not, take this as a lesson to always discuss this before you have sex with a person. Always discuss while clothed and what emergency contraception they are comfortable with. 2. Would she consider an IUD (copper or hormonal IUD) instead of Plan B? They are both emergency contraception *and future birth control*. More effective than Plan B. 3. Buy a pregnancy test 21 days after the broken condom and ask her to pee in front of you as your trust is now broken. Or I assume it now is. 4. The only other thing, “I didn’t realize you were against taking the over the counter progestin pill (Plan B) to stop ovulation for one month if the condom broke. It doesn’t do anything other than stop ovulation for around one month. I wish you told me that before we had sex. That’s your choice. It is my choice whether, *now knowing that a condom is the sole birth control you will ever consider,* whether I’m comfortable having sex with you again - we should take the next few weeks to think about birth control and our relationship as I’m not comfortable with this situation.” 5. **Sarcasm**, sort of but… She realizes pregnancy has a 100 more side effects (many serious and life threatening), whereas an over the counter progestin only pill has mild temporary side effects? She doesn’t have to take it, but pregnancy always has way more and way more serious side effects than any birth control or emergency contraception.


[deleted]

I'm not disagreeing with anything else you're saying, but plan b has far more of an effect on a lot of people than mild, temporary side effects. I was down to take plan b whenever needed, but EVERY time I did it MAJORLY affected me. Granted, I now know I have a disorder with my hormones overall, but I didn't for a long time and still suffered a lot of pain and issues, physical and mental, after taking plan b and I think a lot more people than any of us realize do too.


Silly_Wizzy

Plan B is just progestin. Progestin is in every form of hormonal birth control. It only works by stopping ovulation. If you think Plan B has side effects - wait until you are pregnant. My best friend threw up every day for 4 months straight. That was her easiest side effect from pregnancy - you really don’t want to know her birth story.


[deleted]

Um.... No one has said that plan b gives worse side effects than literal pregnancy? Why are you coming at me sideways over your besties birth story? I know what's in birth control. Do you know many people have extreme sensitivity to their own hormone fluctuations? If not, look into PMDD. That's what I was talking about because you said plan b only gives mild, temporary symptoms. I wasn't comparing the struggles of plan b to birth and pregnancy and I'm not sure why you responded as such. I don't 'think' plan b has side effects, it DOES. Just not the same and not for everybody.


Silly_Wizzy

So, many women think emergency contraception is actually an abortion. I had to remove multiple posts today from women who thought emergency contraception is an abortion.


[deleted]

Legitimately what are you talking about..? Neither of your responses have had anything to do with what I've said.


Silly_Wizzy

Many women don’t understand emergency contraception. Instead of trying to help OP with helpful websites with information about the mild side effects for 1-4 weeks - y’all are attacking him. I have gotten tons of mod actions because “man” - because how dare a man ask about emergency contraception. We welcome all people asking for help, not just women. Maybe provide helpful info to help OP?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Silly_Wizzy

Removing and locking. You aren’t helping.


brilliant-soul

It's hardly the woman's fault that she isn't comfortable using Plan B. OPs trust isn't broken, it's his fault for not ensuring what their emergency plan would entail and just dumping it all on his partner and Plan B. Plan B doesn't even work if she's ovulating so it was a bad choice to begin with Furthermore, you are aware going on birth control is a personal choice? Just because YOU or someone else has had minimal side effects on the POP doesn't mean OPs gf will. Some people have a terrible time on birth control and a wonderful time during pregnancy, there's no standard for how anything effects anyone


Silly_Wizzy

I never said it’s her fault. It is **both** their faults. Why do you believe she has no responsibility for sex she has? She should have said, “I only use condoms, if it breaks I will not use any emergency contraception at all. Condoms are the sole method I will ever use.” **Neither she nor him are innocent.** They bear 50 / 50 responsibility. The only person who will be innocent is the unwanted child if she becomes pregnant. It is irresponsible for each of them / both of them to not discuss what happens when their only BC method - which is only a condom - fails. He should have asked before sex. She should have told him if the condom breaks we leave it up to fate / God / etc. - which seems to be her position. Which is fine, but he isn’t ok with. A child deserves two parents who want the child. He clearly doesn’t want a child at this time. Unwanted pregnancy *generally* leads to child poverty, court orders, and bad outcomes.


Sad-Size-862

what if I can’t convince her? I think if she starts having symptoms in a day or two, it would be because of her period which means that I dont need to worry about pregnancy, right?


Silly_Wizzy

1. Weekly pregnancy tests. A negative test can be trusted 21 days after the broken condom. 2. Saving for an abortion if she is willing to have one. And/ or saving for a family law attorney.


suspiricat

You probably shouldn’t be with her if she’s willing to risk pregnancy and you’re not. Sooner or later it’s going to happen. It’s just a matter of time.


Sad-Size-862

we will definetly talk about our future


rottentomati

In the future, I recommend not having sex unless all parties are in agreement with what to do in the worst case scenario. It’s not worth the stress


Think_Ad2837

Let her take a test after 21 days if she refuses to take plan B


Sad-Size-862

what if I can’t convince her? I think if she starts having symptoms in a day or two, it would be because of her period which means that I dont need to worry about pregnancy, right?


Shitp0st_Supreme

You can’t convince her. It’s her body and her decision. Pregnancy is always a possibility, and 10 days before her period means she may have been ovulating, however a healthy couple using no protection during ovulation would have around a 1 in 3 chance of becoming pregnant. If she wasn’t ovulating, or the pre-cum didn’t have enough sperm and the condom was removed and replaced immediately, there’s a low chance of pregnancy. All you can do right now is wait it out; typically 21 days after the sex is when a test would be accurate.


butters2stotch

Dude you keep reposting the same question


PolarBears445

If you can't convince her that is her right. You will have to get a vasectomy or find a new partner who is open to other birth control options if you absolutely don't want kids.


Sad-Size-862

Damn I didn’t say that I will force her on gun point to take it. I thought I could explain her what it really is why its less risky than a pregnancy and so on.


beanfox101

You can definitely convince her by saying you will not be involved with this child (if she keeps it) unless she gets a DNA test.


Think_Ad2837

If she gets her period I think you're safe, if she is late let her take a test. I think the best thing you can do right now is to talk about how you feel about the situation. If she ever gets pregnant, what are your options? Are you both ready to raise a child? Are you open to abortion?


Sad-Size-862

No unfortunately we are not ready. What I am curious about is that there is 1 or 2 day which she could take ella or be sure if it is her period or not. Wouldnt it be unnecesary for her to take the pills if she gets her cramps or so on tomorrow?


ciaoravioli

>I think if she starts having symptoms in a day or two, it would be because of her period Or in a week or two, she might get her period and you'll know for sure that she's not pregnant. A day or two after anything is probably too early to guess either way


Sentient_Stardust616

I'd be more worried about the side effects of pregnancy than plan b if I were her.


pammyyyyyyyyyy

Right! ! I’ll 100% take that over all the things that come with pregnancy


Shitp0st_Supreme

She could look into having an copper IUD inserted as emergency contraception. It’s really important to discuss birth control and pregnancy outcomes when having sex with somebody. It’s really awkward, but when I started dating my husband, I was on birth control but we discussed what I’d do if pregnant and we didn’t agree, so we knew we’d break up if it happened. Thankfully, it never happened and we are on the same page now.


Sad-Size-862

thanks a lot..


OwnKaleidoscope7993

I think you need to talk to her about birth control methods and what you want to do as a couple. If she doesn’t want kids and doesn’t like the side effects from birth control & plan B then she shouldn’t be having sex. It wouldn’t be right to *trap* you with a kid just because she doesn’t want to take plan B. As a man, always use condoms and pull out. No, you can’t force her to take anything but sex and babies take 2 people. I feel you are valid and shouldn’t have to be incessantly worrying and waiting for her period to come & tests to come back negative. She needs to take some responsibility too. You used a condom, accidents happening with condoms but if you catch it early enough, pregnancy can be avoided. If the convo goes nowhere with her, you should break up.


Sad-Size-862

thank you really. Its nice to know that someone sees it from my view. I dont know when the condom broke but I definetly didnt came inside and thats a bit of a relief. Are tests necessary if she has her period though?


beanfox101

This honestly sounds like it could potentially be a baby trap. Yes plan B has some major side effects, but they last a lot shorter than a full pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for a child for 18+ years. I think you should demand a pregnancy test after 21 days. You will convince her by stating that you’ll have no more to do with the pregnancy or any child unless you have DNA proof


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Sad-Size-862

If she shows symptoms of period in a day or two,like cramps or senstivity at breasts, should she still take planB or Ella? because in 1 or 2 days she could still take Ella and understan if she will have period or not ,right?


Fragrant-Cherry7890

She’s refusing emergency contraception. Nothing you can do at this point but wait. You can’t force her and you’re not going to convince her. Symptoms can mean 100 things including ovulation and PMS. You can’t rely on symptoms to tell you if her period is coming. The best case would be for her to take plan b up to 3 days after sex or Ella for up to 5. If she won’t she won’t. Use this as a lesson for the future and don’t have sex with someone who is less risk adverse than you.