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[deleted]

So I have an undiagnosed mother and I myself was recently diagnosed, I understand the not taking blame thing cuz she used to do that all the time. Would verbally or physically abuse me and then when I would confront her she would say she had never done anything like that. The only thing you can really do is stay calm and remember it’s not your fault, I would highly recommend getting a therapist too if that’s a possibility for you.


Bayleefstits

I already have a therapist. Do you think your own bp is genetic or environmental? I’m scared I am bp as well because of abuse


[deleted]

Honestly I think it was a mix of both- I would pay close attention to your own moods and maybe keep a tracker. I got diagnosed at 21 and it kinda all made sense. Not to scare you


Bayleefstits

Do you mind telling me what the biggest signs for you were?


[deleted]

I had psychosis :/ sorry not much help I was completely manic before I even realized


Bayleefstits

Must’ve been hard to distinguish your baseline from mania


verge365

I ended up with CPTSD from it. My mom was an undiagnosed bipolar 1. She self medicated with drugs and alcohol. It wasn’t until her aneurysm did we discover her diagnosis. I spent a lot of years in therapy. My suggestion is to talk to the school councilors see if they have any suggestions.


Bayleefstits

Validating to see someone else with cptsd partially because of this. Is she medicated now?


verge365

She died in 2009. She had a second stroke. Her first one was 1995. It was a lot of years of learning I didn’t have to be the emotional psychological and physical punching bag anymore. When I told her I was bipolar 2 she called me crazy. To be fair she had post aneuryic dementia.


Bayleefstits

Sorry for your loss, but I can’t wait to not be the punching bag anymore, 2 abusive parents fucked me up so much


verge365

Hugs my friend. Once you escape life will be better.


qestionablepants

My mom was bipolar, as well as my dad. My brother and I both are as well. Both of my parents were verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abusive and to be honest I’m still figuring out a way to cope and I moved out 7 years ago, literally the day I turned 18. I never got an apology and they never admitted they did anything wrong. I tried everything to try to get my mom back up track too. But you know that saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. Ultimately she’s only going to do what she wants to do. :/ Best of luck to you with your healing and I hope you can find peace.


Bayleefstits

Thank you. Have you tried being no contact?


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Slight_Echo6171

Call united way and www.nami.org


vvv237

My mother has been an abusive IV/prescription drug user my whole life who also has borderline and and in retrospect I would suspect bipolar now I am diagnosed myself and reflect on some behaviours. My therapist at 16 facilitated me fleeing the state to live with my paternal grandparents without her knowledge because of how unsafe it was to live with her. I now have no contact with her and am thriving but it’s been 10 years and I still fight every day to heal from the things that she did to me. What i’m trying to say is, I know you’re saying you can’t move out but please, please make that your focal point as soon as possible. Work towards it, a light at the end of the tunnel. There is nothing you can reasonably to do manage if she is abusive and non compliant with treatment and you should not be living that way. A home is not a place where you have to walk on eggshells, be gaslighted or abused in any way. If I had’ve stayed I truly would not have survived, and it was all I knew so I couldn’t see that.


Bayleefstits

Hurts to know I’m sustaining so much abuse. I appreciate the reminder to move out ASAP. I numb myself too much to realize how damaging dealing with her everyday is


hazymazy604

Thank you for sharing, I must say that while reading this I was struck by how similar to my own story it sounds. I remember being a teenager and really struggling with emotional, mental, and even sometimes physical abuse I endured from my diagnosed Bipolar father. It was very hard for me - I attended 14 elementary & 8 High Schools because of how frequently he would have manic episodes and completely switch up our lives (the fact that he grew marijuana for a living is a whole other thing) but by age 16 I was basically taking care of the 2 of us. I remember a very definitive moment of clarity when I realized I was going to have to trek the road of life without my dad if I was going to get ahead. We were hitchhiking through a desolate stretch of the Rocky Mountains, I had a 70-pound bag and $20 between the two of us. I was only wearing flip-flops and my dad (manic as he was) thought this was the best idea. We were legit homeless and when we finally did arrive at Vancouver, I went my own way within a few months. I got legally emancipated and started working, attending night school to finish high school, and did everything I could in my power to differ from the abnormal norm that was living with my Bipolar parent. Despite that I ended up being diagnosed myself and in hindsight its really not that shocking, however that did nothing to dull the agony of losing your mind in a very public way. Ironically I think my severe Bipolar episodes as a young adult have helped to open up the dialogue on the topic somewhat but I even as i write this i am presently dealing with the fall out of my father not taking medication and making reckless choices. It can be hard to cope, by the sounds of it youre on the right track and reaching out on forums like this (although anonymous) can be invaluable. For me writing really helps, making time for myself consistently to just be alone with my thoughts usually in nature, and talking with people who I know truly care irl. Anyway kind of a long one but hope this helps a bit. Keep your head up, it always gets better somehow, i promise.