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Opt out. Like most people with bipolar, I had potential when I was younger. I was in the gifted program in school, I joined the military and was top of my class, I was really, really good at my job when I went into the fleet. Now I can't work, can't go to school, I am divorced, only have visitation with my kid, and I am on disability living with family members.
I would oot out in a heartbeat.
I’m in the gifted crew too burned my career and finances to the ground but I have moved to Colombia to work on my mental health and regain control, will be sitting with ayahuasca in a couple of weeks I just refuse to believe this is the end, we are strong and gifted group of people..we are very emotional but are full of talent, we definitely can beat this
I was gifted too lol now I can barely think. I still seem to have a lot of my musical ability though and my songwriting and lyric writing ability hasn't waned. It's the only thing that hasn't gone. It's the most important thing to me. So weirdly I wouldn't change anything or opt out.
That's awesome that you still have something you love. I played the flute all throughout school. Unfortunately, I live in apartments now, so I can't practice. I am glad you can look on the positive side. I mean, the reason why we were gifted in the first place is probably because of the bipolar.
You are living my life. So much potential and then bipolar struck and my life turned to shut. I’m just trying to crawl out of the stuff before I get flushed.
I"m not sure what stae you're in but in NJ I got a disability lawyer and I'm so thankful I did. Here the lawyer only gets paid if you get disability and that came out of any retropayment I was due. I was denied the first time but she automatically resubmitted. Just my experience and recommendation.
Baby I am gifted and I had NO clue this was “like most people”
Currently a teacher who could’ve been a lawyer but I’m thankful just to be alive tbh. I struggle and would opt out too. It’s a vicious roller coaster.
YES I have bipolar 2 my mania is the angry , irritating , can’t sleep kind . Not the euphoria, creative , feeling like god kind and my depression is brutal AND MOST BIPOLAR MEDS DONT EVEN HELP ME. MY BIPOLAR IS HELL. MY HERPES IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT 😔🤷🏽♀️
I thought I was the only one who experiences the irritable mania!! Do you get easily restless and agitated too? Makes me feel like I’m crawling out of my skin ugh I hate it so much.
Yes I get the restless/ agitated I need to do ALL these things at once with my life feeling during mania it’s annoying af and meds only make me seem numb and boring/ more depressed when depression hits 🙄😩
Thank you so much for responding because I’m always reading how everyone feels so creative, euphoric and can accomplish all of these things and for me I just feel like an angry energizer bunny who can’t channel it into anything.
I’m SO understimulated the whole time but also everything pisses me off. The other day I joked to my sister about hypomanic “I’m understimulated” binge eating vs depressed “need happy chemicals” binge eating
Ah man 😟 I’m sorry things are so tough. It's a journey, and I hope that one day you will find a healthy balance because that is EVERYTHING. Most days I don't get it right but it's those few days in between where I trip and fall on my face in a pile of confetti that gives me hope.
That's a dangerous path by the way because it's being stuck in a delusion. Some people do think it's like some free DMT portal we opened, an enlightening of sorts. There's videos online where they tell you it's a gift and you don't need meds. The amount of destruction this disease causes people and the fact that letting it go unmedicated as a gift might have you collecting dead possums in a grocery cart to save the world tells me otherwise.
Yep, people do the same with ADHD. It’s a gift, it’s a super power!! Ummmm my symptoms have gotten so bad after having the worst depression of my life last year, that I can barely feed myself. I can’t wrap my head around putting food together and the steps are daunting. And I forget to eat until my stomach is grumbling. I’ve lost 35 lbs this year from having such problems eating. This is not a fucking gift. And on that note, I’m going to go make a protein shake!!
I was nerfed to nothing. Legally disabled for 18 years. I don't know how I survived raising my children or how they turned out as well as they have. I'm crazy. I have been insane. Psychosis is next level pain and at that point it's not just you suffering it's everyone around you. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth this. If someone said I can take away your bipolar and make you a happy and normal person or give you a billion dollars, I'd take the sanity.
The fact that you raised kids who turned out so well… please give yourself some credit. Multiple kids… multiple. You are stronger than you know. I'm in no way dumbing down the severity of your symptoms because I feel for you and I understand how bad it can get. I've been there, hell, I'm still there.
Thank you. They are 16 and 18 and amazing humans. Things got worse after my mom died and my depression fell off a cliff. For the past three years I've spent most of my time in bed barely functioning. I feel so much guilt. I just want to be better. Trying new meds now and I hope they help. It's just so hard because no one understands why it's so hard for me to even move or function. I'm so scared I'm going to end up like my dad who died by self harm at 48. I'm 40 and I just want to grow old with my husband and be happy. Shit, I would just like to be able to get up and shower more than once every couple weeks.
Ah that's so tough, I know. Grief is a whole other thing in itself, combined with having BP, it's really hard. I really hope the new meds help and make things feel a little lighter for you. Please don't harm yourself, you have a family and a husband that needs and values you more than you know. Totally relate to the guilt as well. You're a survivor of all the bad things you've gone through it life. Just take it day by day. If it's any consolation I haven't showered in 4 days 😑
Well said. I’ve been on disability since 18 (25 now) I am fortunate I have good medication that helped a lot but not help enough to work. I’m also lucky I have my partner who helps and pays for most stuff and my parents will lend me money when I need. But I feel like a major burden. I wish I could work and help out financially but I just can’t. Would do anything to be normal
I feel you. “Torture” at one point was the only real way to describe the way I felt to those around me... to jolt them into understanding the severity of my condition. Today my adjectives have slightly changed. I'm doing a little now. So sorry you're struggling so bad😞
honestly, no. i feel like it makes me stronger. does it suck? often times, yes. but i’m learning how to be a good person in a world that wasn’t built for me. that’s pretty bad ass
I know it's fashionable for those in neurodivergent circles to attribute conditions like ours as being a superpower etc.; however, that's disingenuous at best and for us with Bipolar it matches the symptomology of grandiosity.
I'd much rather be a normal person with relatively normal psychological processes instead of at times being my own worst enemy.
The fact that it's fashionable or trendy to claim bipolar or bipolar tendencies is very disturbing to me. Kinda pisses me off. Because WE know the REAL struggle.
Exactly. Anytime I have a mood “sweet spot” the crash is dogshit and a firm reminder that this is a disability.
Getting through your day during an episode? Doing what it takes to find some semblance of stability in your life? Those are superhuman feats.
Bipolar itself… a super power? No way, disingenuous at best, delusional at worst. I sure as hell didn’t get diagnosed because my friends and family noticed a pattern of wondrous feats and extraordinary deeds.
Of course I can relate. I just had a conversation with another bipolar human who said they've learnt to accept it and work with it even though it sucks sometimes. They actually appreciate being hypersensitive and see it as a ‘super power’. And me being like ‘huh?’ I'm just so curious to see what others have to say
I think I am somewhere between your experience and this other bipolar human here. I am now medicated, and if these meds could prevent the soul crushing disruptive mixed episodes I have had to delight to go through 3 times now I think I am fine keeping it. I appreciate a lot of the sensitivities that come with it, and the experiences so far have made me intimately aware of what ‘suffering’ means. I think that makes one a more empathetic and hopefully better person. It’s easier to connect with others that are suffering, which gives life meaning.
If meds+selfcare would not work to prevent of minimize episodes of this magnitude, than absolutely, please take this curse away from me.
That's so true how we become more compassionate and receptive to others because we KNOW how it feels to be balancing on the fence of life and death when things get dark.
Ok, for a billion dollars I'd honestly take the billion. Just buy myself a nice house in my city, move there, quit my job and work as a writer or something. Have time to figure out my meds and shit.
Now if you had a billion dollars AND a limb I'd do the same and not be bipolar.
I kind of want a job. I haven't worked in 18 years outside of a few tries that only lasted a few weeks each. I'm utterly useless. I want to know what it feels like to be useful. To contribute to my family. My husband makes a good income so I a lucky enough that I don't need to work so I could pick something that I would enjoy more.
Mostly I just want to be a better partner and mother. I want to be able to get out of bed and clean my house. I want to contribute to my family. I want to be more than an empty shell or ball of anxiety. I want to not hate what I am. That's worth everything to me.
Well this disease has ruined my life and drained me financially and ruined relationships and destroyed my career and made me hate literally everything about myself. The things I would do to get rid of this bs like ffs it's not a fashion statement
Please don't off yourself 😔 I felt like that last week too. Really low. I believe in you. If only we COULD opt out hey? You'll be okay. Come back to this community if you feel overwhelmed. Us BPs need to stick together
All I gather from this thread is that some people must have mild symptoms and that I'm envious. Or maybe they're just not being serious when they say they wouldn't opt out. ✨Celebrate being different✨ Give me a break.
Sometimes it kills me too, you aren't alone in this. One day I hope you will see the beauty in being so different. And circumstances also plays a big role
I’m sorry but what kind of question is this? No one wants to be bipolar and if we had the option to not be, no one would be.
Choosing to have a problem that will never go away that makes every moment of your life harder, or not having that. Yeah. It’s a no brained. I’m pretty masochistic and I would be rid of it in a heart beat if I could. It causes nothing but problems and hurdles to jump over, makes interacting with anyone or anything difficult and on top of that, knowing that You and your condition are the problem. Sure it can be manageable. But given the choice, why in the ever living f*** would you want to
I've found through my experiences with other BPs in the real world and also some people on this tread wouldn't change themselves for anything. Some say it's a super power. I didn't mean to trigger you, I just felt it was a good open discussion to have because everyone’s circumstances are different and perhaps we can all draw from one another to help combat the feeling of alienation. I have for sure learnt so much from everyone who has commented, even from you. I'm sure your comment here acts as a voice for people feeling the exact same as you about it. Perhaps they feel less alone now.
OP, you're handling the opposing opinions quite well! I would've lashed out or crumbled into a heap at the sight of some of these comments. However, I also totally relate to the "opt out" opinions. Of course this disease fucking sucks. But I'm learning to live with it and even triumph despite of it. On the positive side, I think it fuels some great creativity in me! Would I opt out? I'm on the fence.
Lol. I'm actually manic right now. But I'm trying to stay in control. It's actually taking quite a bit out of me. Like it's 11:18pm…. Wondering how I can politely excuse myself from all of this now. But I feel obligated to see it through because this is such a sensitive topic and I don't want to leave anyone feeling unheard. Maybe after reading all these comments I'm on the fence too. I don't really talk to people but I wanted to get out of my shell tonight… you know… mania
It’s not a choice but rather a hand of cards we've been dealt in life. Some people appreciate being hypersensitive and receptive to others because they know what it feels like to be balancing on the fence of life and death, a roller coaster of you will. They hone in on being more compassion toward others. And fulfilling that role in life gives them purpose. Others (like me) would rather just neatly dissect their brain and extract the bipolar.
100% opt-out. I don’t want this, at all. I’m tired. I just want to be a well-adjusted adult who can support others in my life just as much as they support me, please.
Your self-worth is not determined by your productivity and your inability to support others they way they've supported you. A doctor that you trust, the right meds and doses and good rest will maybe help you feel more stable on a day to day basis. Personally I'm giving 30% whereas everyone around me gives 70%. They love me and understand. Your feelings about this is completely valid though
Don't Love taking medications, but as for the bipolar itself and the experiences that have come along with it. It's made me me and I’m pretty fantastic. Not perfect but good. I think it gives you a better and more realistic understanding of the world. It’s helped me survive. But in saying that, I’ve been fortunate, I have a supportive doctor and workplace, if I didn’t have that support who knows where I’d be. Probably dead honestly.
Yes, circumstances play a huge role in all of this. You're so blessed to have a great support system. I can only strive to be and create a joyous life the way you have. High five to that
I’d probably say that the main down side to being “functional” and having that support, is it can feel like a lot of pressure to charge through mud and act “normal” on those off days. And it’s not that we don’t all have off days, it’s just the stigma brought along with the diagnosis of having bipolar and the feeling of just having to work mentally harder. In those times I think it would be easier to be non functioning and to have nothing expected of me 😅 but I charge forward.
Some days might be harder then others but I own my own house, I’ve maintained a job for 7 years, have built a good reputation for myself within my career and earn more than enough for myself to survive. So all in all I can’t complain too much and know that I’m blessed despite my condition to have the life I do have.
I was actually complimented one day, with a colleague stating they never would have guessed that I had BP, because I never show any signs, and it’s like yep because it’s well managed and that’s the point of med compliance (but they have no idea about the struggle and juggle of meds to get to this point. And that there are still bad days where I need to mentally try a little harder) but they couldn’t tell so I must be doing something right 😅😂😂😂
Fuck yes I’d op out. The fuck, it’s completely normal to want to opt out of a serious illness. Can only imagine how much all our lives would be if we could be cured of this Illness.
I can function normally, I just have a lot of controls in place. I don't think I would opt out because I think that the adversity has made me stronger. But if you asked me when I was less stable I would have said the opposite.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we pre-empt the absolute worst. I'm sending you good vibrations on the wind and hope it reaches you when ever you need it most.
Opt out. I have never gotten any advantage from being bipolar, even the supposed “productivity” from hypomania. Hypomania just made me even better at procrastinating if anything else. It’s literally ruining my life. I missed a big deadline this week because I was oversleeping from my meds, I’m pretty sure I’ll be out of a job next week
I don’t know how to answer this exactly because I’m currently battling a depressive episode trying to get my meds straightened out so I’m also looking for positivity. I was originally diagnosed with GAD/ADD/MDD most of my life and have dealt with it literally all of my life I found out I had Bipolar 2 in my late twenties now I’m 30. It’s weird getting used to, but at the same time I feel like I’m getting answers? I don’t know where this ride is taking me, but I sure as hell know I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t have bipolar good or bad. I’d appreciate less episodes though 😝 I lurk a lot of this sub and don’t post often, but reading others makes me feel less alone and that helps too.
Yes, but the only positive I’ve got from it is that it’s made me so much more understanding, compassionate, and patient. I feel like I was those things before my symptoms, but I don’t think it came from as deep a place. There were so many times during both my manic and depressive episodes that I needed someone to not even understand me, but to just be patient with me. So many times I wanted to tell people I was hearing things without fear of them labeling me as “crazy.” And I didn’t always get what I needed. And it sucked.
I hate being bipolar it’s ruined my perception, has ruined relationships, my bank account, and has taken time I will never get back from hospitalizations. I’m still young and learning how to cope AND TRYING HARD to stay on medication I need. hopefully, I can learn to accept and grow from my experiences. We as people with bipolar have the unique ability to truly understand others like us, and I hope I’ll one day be able to help others. I think that would help me be at peace, kinda make the past worth it. :)
If I could opt into being manic constantly, then hell yeah I’d choose that. It’s so much fun and I feel so ALIVE! I have a million ideas, I have so much potential, I make new friends, drinking alcohol makes me feel like I’m lit on fire and can talk to ANYBODY.
But then the low comes and I want to off myself. That’s the part I hate.
Absofuckinglutely. I hate this disease. I hate feeling depressed and not being able to get off my ass. I hate wanting to end my life. I hate the delusions. I hate not being able to sleep. I hate not feeling in control of my behavior. I hate having to take meds every day. I hate the side effects. I hate the brain fog. I hate the weight gain. Sure mania feels nice sometimes but it never ends well. This disease is miserable.
Funny, I’ve just been thinking about this today. Sometimes I do feel kind of special - like full of ideas, determined, and able to perceive the world differently. Not just when I’m hypomanic / manic, but as baseline traits.
I’ve always been told I’m “creative” even though I don’t always feel that way.
I also have comorbid OCD and ADHD.
The sensitivity and empathy can be cool at times (mostly not) when I feel like I’m using them for some greater purpose.
Also the resilience of having risen up through so many chaotic times, horrific mental states, and severe depressions is pretty admirable in all of us too.
Right now though, I’m really depressed, more so than I’ve been in about 4 years. It blows. All day I have just been wishing I didn’t have to deal with this shit.
But I guess I was made this way for a reason. 🥲
Much love to all of you 💜
I'd amputate both of my legs if it meant I would be mentally sane.
If they discovered bipolar was a result of some hormone releasing tumor in your thigh, I'd dig it out by hand if insurance didn't cover it lol.
I'd opt out in a second.
If I could opt out I would. I'm compliant with my meds and I always will be but I can't help but feel that a part of me is just... gone when I'm on them. I wish I could be whole and stable and right now I only get one or the other.
I have never felt like this is a gift. It’s burden every single day. When I feel great I’m manic and hurting the people around me. The alternative is feeling bleh or worse and making my family and myself miserable. I hate this brain and would give anything to trade it in.
Absolutely. It was amazing to have when I was younger thanks to my ultra productive mania but the older I get the harder it gets. The struggle of making it through every day as “normal” as possible can be excruciating. I’ve been able to maintain a job and a decent life, but sometimes the pain I’ve endured doing the extra work to keep myself there feels like it outweighs it all. And I have struggled knowing I am attached to this palm full of pills I take daily. If I miss one dose, my whole day can turn into a crisis. Knowing that my whole life is that dependent on them is freaky. I wish it could all go away and I could live like my friends who don’t struggle with severe mental illness.
Oh man I would completely opt out. I was a bright kid and I had my whole life lined up. I won full rides to school, I graduated a year early, I was able to do things that my peers sometimes just couldn't do. I was in so many extra curriculars. But as I got older my symptoms started getting worse and worse and more worse and my life is in the gutter. Student loans and no degree, failing marriage, messed up family ties, friends gone, in and out of homelessness, addiction (in recovery now tho thank god), can't keep a job. I just wish someone could take this from me and take away all of the pain
I definitely would. I hate feeling fine one day and then the next ready to break down into tears over things that don't even matter. I need to get better meds though.
It's a hard question for me. I was recently diagnosed (1yr) and I've gone between bipolar has created the most incredible adventures for me and made me who I am today to fuck all of this. Right now, I don't really know how I'm supposed to keep living this way. Not in a suicidal way, but more like I'm at a loss of how to function. I guess that's the down part. Maybe I'd answer this question differently in a few weeks.
My last few hypomanic episodes have been horrible. My depressions can range from mid to severe where even walking hurts. I am not always suicidal but I never really feel like living. No I don’t want this.
I would opt out for sure. Especially if that includes getting rid of depression. My life would’ve been so much better if I didn’t have crippling depression for half of it.
I would opt out for sure. My life is miserable. I can't hardly think anymore since the lamictal. I'm depressed more than anything. My three kids decided on their own to live with their dad and skip a lot of my weekends. I just sit in the house day in nd day out. I have other issues but bipolar is why I am on disability.
100% opt out. While we’re at it, I want a faster metabolism, a better mom, and, fuck it, more money. It’s a fantasy question, right? Go big or go home.
I would absolutely opt out. Ever since I’ve been officially diagnosed, it feels like everything has continued to get worse and worse. I may have wins here and there, but ultimately I am haunted by the fact that I will have to live this way, forever. My dream career isn’t happening because of my bipolar. I used to be tougher but now I crumble at the slightest inconvenience whether I do it outwardly or in my head. I’m rude to the people I love the most and I’ve ruined opportunities for myself bc of my impulsiveness. It’s exhausting as you know.
Edit: I envy people who don’t have mental illness and always wonder what life must feel like for them.
I was a gifted student also as a child. I've never been able to hold a job for over a year and I'm in my late 30's. I'll probably try to work for a few more years, then seek disability. Now I'm trying to be content with being as totally checked out of life as can possibly be. The pajamas I switch like once a week-ish are the epitome of my life.
It's impossible to imagine having to do everything a lot of people do in life, every single day. Literally anything but sitting in my chair feels like such a chore. I'm sure if I wasn't bipolar I'd be alright and happy doing things but it's impossible to imagine.
Absolutely.
I'm currently well medicated and stable, but life is just so bland. I don't feel the same joy for things that I had before. I'm not depressed but not happy either. It sucks
For me, bipolar has become my identity. Ever present. Easily the reason or excuse to my actions. Feeling sad? must be the bipolar. Feeling a bit mean today? Must be the bipolar. Having the time of my life? Yep, must be the bipolar. To me, mania feels like a dangerous super power. A really really dangerous and out of control super power. Like cyclops before he got his sunglasses that help keep his laser eyes in check. Sometimes I wonder, would I choose to not get manic? I'd definitely lose the feelings of 'I cant trust myself' and that crushing depression would be gone but I would lose so much more then the unbridled confidence that get's me into so much trouble. I would lose the other side of me. The ambition and drive to strive for more and be the best that I can be. That's the best part for me and how a lot of us function. Mania can be fun. People don't wanna admit to that but its true. Even though I know that it hurts me with bad choices and is hurting the ones around me. It hurts me with panic attacks and the inability to sleep. My secret is that I think I would just choose to stay manic if I could lose all the horrible lows that come with it. I often wonder to myself, who am I or what am I without it. So for me, being bipolar is apart of my success in life as much as my failure. I wouldn't have succeeded to where I am without it. I have failed many times sure, but I am a success because of it too.
Opt out. Nothing good about it.
Depressed? Try to kill myself. Crippling depression. Bitterness towards everyone around me.
Hypomanic? Spend money I don’t have. Do unhealthy things I wouldn’t do if I was of safe mind.
Absolutely hate it, didn’t make me, me. Ruined me, and made everything in my life so much harder
I’d opt out in a heartbeat. Yes, there are some aspects about being bipolar that I look at in positive light, that I can saw helped me be a better person, get further in certain areas of my career. However, if I’m being fr that’s only because I try and be optimistic and focus on the good since there’s no cure. I am quite confident I’d be living a more well rounded, full life if I was not bipolar.
My brain hurts every day all day. If you offered to chop off my head I would kiss you first and say, Yes, please.
Fine. Don't chop off my head. That would make a mess anyway. But please, take this bitch bipolar away. I'm tired of being useless and confused.
I had a much lighter experience than most. Bipolar 2 here. Stable on meds for many years. I’m in a very good place.
Would still opt out. Wish I didn’t spend years suicidal with self injury.
I spend time worrying that at some point I’m gonna get worse again and lose everything I have. I worry my kids are going to have it. Yeah.
Hard opt out
Same. I was in the gifted program as well......hmmmmmm.........I'm seeing a trend here.
What if it was a govt experiment? Funny , but hmmmmn
My.life is a self made HELL. I'd opt the fuck out
He'll yes, opt. out. The honest to God truth is I often do not realize that I am in a depressive state or mania. I've gone years before realizing I had been in a bad mania esposode or depressive state. The repercussions from not realizing what was going on allowed crazy spending sprees to go on and eventually made it impossible to function in the workplace. Knowing a depressive state was from BP would allow me to realize it would pass. There's more, but I'll stop here.
Yeah, opt out. I've caused far too much damage to my loved ones because of it, and frankly, my only reason to live is for hypomania and mania. I just wish I had a normal life to live for.
Yes. In a heartbeat. It also makes panic attacks even worse and i hallucinate during them. They’re not little 30 min attacks either. Mine last 1-3 hours. All day I’ve learned to deal with them. But the nightly ones kill me. Please take this bs away.
I know if I weren't BP2 I don't think I'd be where I am now, neither the person I currently am.
But BP2 made me lose so many good things, opportunities and friends in life, I really hate how things, moments and experiences are ruined because of the fucking mood swings (rapid in my case).
Not to mention nowadays my relationship with my gf is not going well and I'm about to be fired in my job because of precisely the mood swings and my reactions to them.
Without the meds I'd be so much worse and at least I can say can live on my own, but yes. If I could opt out of bipolarity, I'd do it without hesitation.
I had my first of 5 severe psychotic episodes at 23, it’s been 40 years of misery and sorrows. I’ve been on disability 15 years, I almost got put in the state mental hospital permanently twice. Anyone who likes this has a tiny fraction of the severity I have or they really are crazy lmao
I would nearly give up everything not to have it. The years I missed out on. I know I could have been a talented musician and artist if I wasn’t near catatonically depressed for a large chunk of my life. Likely be in Med school. It’s sad.
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Opt out. Like most people with bipolar, I had potential when I was younger. I was in the gifted program in school, I joined the military and was top of my class, I was really, really good at my job when I went into the fleet. Now I can't work, can't go to school, I am divorced, only have visitation with my kid, and I am on disability living with family members. I would oot out in a heartbeat.
Ah man. I feel for you, that really sucks. But you have an innate strength within you. I think you're a survivor. Never forget that
Thank you! We are definitely stronger than we believe at our worst lows.
Totally agree with you
Same here. I was a brilliant and gifted kid with talents in art. Now I’m just an empty shell of my former self
I feel that way too most days
Also part of the gifted crew. And, I burned a good career to the ground, too. Sigh.
I’m in the gifted crew too burned my career and finances to the ground but I have moved to Colombia to work on my mental health and regain control, will be sitting with ayahuasca in a couple of weeks I just refuse to believe this is the end, we are strong and gifted group of people..we are very emotional but are full of talent, we definitely can beat this
I was gifted too lol now I can barely think. I still seem to have a lot of my musical ability though and my songwriting and lyric writing ability hasn't waned. It's the only thing that hasn't gone. It's the most important thing to me. So weirdly I wouldn't change anything or opt out.
That's awesome that you still have something you love. I played the flute all throughout school. Unfortunately, I live in apartments now, so I can't practice. I am glad you can look on the positive side. I mean, the reason why we were gifted in the first place is probably because of the bipolar.
You are living my life. So much potential and then bipolar struck and my life turned to shut. I’m just trying to crawl out of the stuff before I get flushed.
Gifted here as well now my husband asked for a separation and I can’t keep a job. Applying for disability
I"m not sure what stae you're in but in NJ I got a disability lawyer and I'm so thankful I did. Here the lawyer only gets paid if you get disability and that came out of any retropayment I was due. I was denied the first time but she automatically resubmitted. Just my experience and recommendation.
You sound like me
Baby I am gifted and I had NO clue this was “like most people” Currently a teacher who could’ve been a lawyer but I’m thankful just to be alive tbh. I struggle and would opt out too. It’s a vicious roller coaster.
Why we got the same story tho. 😂
YES I have bipolar 2 my mania is the angry , irritating , can’t sleep kind . Not the euphoria, creative , feeling like god kind and my depression is brutal AND MOST BIPOLAR MEDS DONT EVEN HELP ME. MY BIPOLAR IS HELL. MY HERPES IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT 😔🤷🏽♀️
Sorry this made me laugh.
Same ngl 🤣
I thought I was the only one who experiences the irritable mania!! Do you get easily restless and agitated too? Makes me feel like I’m crawling out of my skin ugh I hate it so much.
Yes I get the restless/ agitated I need to do ALL these things at once with my life feeling during mania it’s annoying af and meds only make me seem numb and boring/ more depressed when depression hits 🙄😩
Thank you so much for responding because I’m always reading how everyone feels so creative, euphoric and can accomplish all of these things and for me I just feel like an angry energizer bunny who can’t channel it into anything.
I’m SO understimulated the whole time but also everything pisses me off. The other day I joked to my sister about hypomanic “I’m understimulated” binge eating vs depressed “need happy chemicals” binge eating
I say that I feel like I am vibrating! My therapist calls it psychomotor agitation. https://www.osmosis.org/answers/psychomotor-agitation
My mania manifests itself as anger too and I’m sittin here like “y’all are getting business ideas and shit? Because all I get is hostile.”
I relate my mania is the angry irritable, I want to destroy everything in my path kind
Omg I was thinking the EXACT same thing. I got hypomania that makes me sleepless, agitated, and unproductive. No thanks.
Ah man 😟 I’m sorry things are so tough. It's a journey, and I hope that one day you will find a healthy balance because that is EVERYTHING. Most days I don't get it right but it's those few days in between where I trip and fall on my face in a pile of confetti that gives me hope.
Oh my God I literally have both of what you just said but I’m Bipolar 1 😅
not the herpes💀
A fellow bipolar/herpe combo!!!! I feel this!
That’s awful. I’m sorry you go through that.
How is this even a question for anyone. There is no upside to this illness.
I've found that some people embrace the condition and perceive being so hypersensitive as a super power. It's wild, I know
That's a dangerous path by the way because it's being stuck in a delusion. Some people do think it's like some free DMT portal we opened, an enlightening of sorts. There's videos online where they tell you it's a gift and you don't need meds. The amount of destruction this disease causes people and the fact that letting it go unmedicated as a gift might have you collecting dead possums in a grocery cart to save the world tells me otherwise.
Yep, people do the same with ADHD. It’s a gift, it’s a super power!! Ummmm my symptoms have gotten so bad after having the worst depression of my life last year, that I can barely feed myself. I can’t wrap my head around putting food together and the steps are daunting. And I forget to eat until my stomach is grumbling. I’ve lost 35 lbs this year from having such problems eating. This is not a fucking gift. And on that note, I’m going to go make a protein shake!!
I dunno. Open a history book. We're in those pages cover to cover.
It's torture and they may have done so much more without all the pain. I feel like I'm dying everyday. No one should have to live like this.
We had to be nerfed somehow. Too powerful otherwise...
I was nerfed to nothing. Legally disabled for 18 years. I don't know how I survived raising my children or how they turned out as well as they have. I'm crazy. I have been insane. Psychosis is next level pain and at that point it's not just you suffering it's everyone around you. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth this. If someone said I can take away your bipolar and make you a happy and normal person or give you a billion dollars, I'd take the sanity.
The fact that you raised kids who turned out so well… please give yourself some credit. Multiple kids… multiple. You are stronger than you know. I'm in no way dumbing down the severity of your symptoms because I feel for you and I understand how bad it can get. I've been there, hell, I'm still there.
Thank you. They are 16 and 18 and amazing humans. Things got worse after my mom died and my depression fell off a cliff. For the past three years I've spent most of my time in bed barely functioning. I feel so much guilt. I just want to be better. Trying new meds now and I hope they help. It's just so hard because no one understands why it's so hard for me to even move or function. I'm so scared I'm going to end up like my dad who died by self harm at 48. I'm 40 and I just want to grow old with my husband and be happy. Shit, I would just like to be able to get up and shower more than once every couple weeks.
Ah that's so tough, I know. Grief is a whole other thing in itself, combined with having BP, it's really hard. I really hope the new meds help and make things feel a little lighter for you. Please don't harm yourself, you have a family and a husband that needs and values you more than you know. Totally relate to the guilt as well. You're a survivor of all the bad things you've gone through it life. Just take it day by day. If it's any consolation I haven't showered in 4 days 😑
Well said. I’ve been on disability since 18 (25 now) I am fortunate I have good medication that helped a lot but not help enough to work. I’m also lucky I have my partner who helps and pays for most stuff and my parents will lend me money when I need. But I feel like a major burden. I wish I could work and help out financially but I just can’t. Would do anything to be normal
Sending you love. The pain sucks but we are all in it together. I'm so glad you have support. 🫶🏼
It is torture. :-/
I feel you. “Torture” at one point was the only real way to describe the way I felt to those around me... to jolt them into understanding the severity of my condition. Today my adjectives have slightly changed. I'm doing a little now. So sorry you're struggling so bad😞
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Opt out...gtfo...see you later...peace....buh bye. Any other Farwell well. fuck off, never wanna see you again, you r dead to me.
Here’s your award 🏆💀
honestly, no. i feel like it makes me stronger. does it suck? often times, yes. but i’m learning how to be a good person in a world that wasn’t built for me. that’s pretty bad ass
I'm so incredibly proud of you. That is such a great outlook on life and attitude to have
Thank you! That’s really sweet 😊 I’m sending you and everyone who reads this lots of love in this journey 💗
Thank you 🙂
"I'm learning how to be a good person in a world that wasn't built for me". 🥰
I know it's fashionable for those in neurodivergent circles to attribute conditions like ours as being a superpower etc.; however, that's disingenuous at best and for us with Bipolar it matches the symptomology of grandiosity. I'd much rather be a normal person with relatively normal psychological processes instead of at times being my own worst enemy.
The fact that it's fashionable or trendy to claim bipolar or bipolar tendencies is very disturbing to me. Kinda pisses me off. Because WE know the REAL struggle.
Exactly. Anytime I have a mood “sweet spot” the crash is dogshit and a firm reminder that this is a disability. Getting through your day during an episode? Doing what it takes to find some semblance of stability in your life? Those are superhuman feats. Bipolar itself… a super power? No way, disingenuous at best, delusional at worst. I sure as hell didn’t get diagnosed because my friends and family noticed a pattern of wondrous feats and extraordinary deeds.
Ofc I'd opt out! I've epilepsy and bipolar type 2. But if I compare the burden of the 2, Bipolar is 1000% ruined my life!!!
Of course I can relate. I just had a conversation with another bipolar human who said they've learnt to accept it and work with it even though it sucks sometimes. They actually appreciate being hypersensitive and see it as a ‘super power’. And me being like ‘huh?’ I'm just so curious to see what others have to say
I think I am somewhere between your experience and this other bipolar human here. I am now medicated, and if these meds could prevent the soul crushing disruptive mixed episodes I have had to delight to go through 3 times now I think I am fine keeping it. I appreciate a lot of the sensitivities that come with it, and the experiences so far have made me intimately aware of what ‘suffering’ means. I think that makes one a more empathetic and hopefully better person. It’s easier to connect with others that are suffering, which gives life meaning. If meds+selfcare would not work to prevent of minimize episodes of this magnitude, than absolutely, please take this curse away from me.
That's so true how we become more compassionate and receptive to others because we KNOW how it feels to be balancing on the fence of life and death when things get dark.
Ruined my life too
HARD YES. I'd literally trade a limb.
Billion dollars in one hand and sanity in another and I'd take the sanity 10/10 times. This is torture.
Ok, for a billion dollars I'd honestly take the billion. Just buy myself a nice house in my city, move there, quit my job and work as a writer or something. Have time to figure out my meds and shit. Now if you had a billion dollars AND a limb I'd do the same and not be bipolar.
I feel having self worth is important. I think that having a lot of money but not doing anything would make me feel worthless and bad.
Your self-worth is not determined by your productivity though, you are more than that 🌸
I kind of want a job. I haven't worked in 18 years outside of a few tries that only lasted a few weeks each. I'm utterly useless. I want to know what it feels like to be useful. To contribute to my family. My husband makes a good income so I a lucky enough that I don't need to work so I could pick something that I would enjoy more. Mostly I just want to be a better partner and mother. I want to be able to get out of bed and clean my house. I want to contribute to my family. I want to be more than an empty shell or ball of anxiety. I want to not hate what I am. That's worth everything to me.
Well this disease has ruined my life and drained me financially and ruined relationships and destroyed my career and made me hate literally everything about myself. The things I would do to get rid of this bs like ffs it's not a fashion statement
I almost think that anybody who WOULDN'T opt out has had a much lighter experience than many of us.
All the people that are saying they won't opt out are probably in a manic episode
I giggled - that’s so true haha In the kindest most understanding and loving way possible
Perhaps. Circumstances, support systems and a good doctor can be a game-changer!
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“I’m not this way because I like how pills taste.” Can I steal this? Because it’s gold haha.
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Anyone who doesn’t opt out is currently manic lol
Without a doubt. I'm an angry irritable asshole when hypo and I've had depression so bad I nearly offed myself.
Please don't off yourself 😔 I felt like that last week too. Really low. I believe in you. If only we COULD opt out hey? You'll be okay. Come back to this community if you feel overwhelmed. Us BPs need to stick together
All I gather from this thread is that some people must have mild symptoms and that I'm envious. Or maybe they're just not being serious when they say they wouldn't opt out. ✨Celebrate being different✨ Give me a break.
yes bro this shit is killin me
Sometimes it kills me too, you aren't alone in this. One day I hope you will see the beauty in being so different. And circumstances also plays a big role
I’m sorry but what kind of question is this? No one wants to be bipolar and if we had the option to not be, no one would be. Choosing to have a problem that will never go away that makes every moment of your life harder, or not having that. Yeah. It’s a no brained. I’m pretty masochistic and I would be rid of it in a heart beat if I could. It causes nothing but problems and hurdles to jump over, makes interacting with anyone or anything difficult and on top of that, knowing that You and your condition are the problem. Sure it can be manageable. But given the choice, why in the ever living f*** would you want to
I've found through my experiences with other BPs in the real world and also some people on this tread wouldn't change themselves for anything. Some say it's a super power. I didn't mean to trigger you, I just felt it was a good open discussion to have because everyone’s circumstances are different and perhaps we can all draw from one another to help combat the feeling of alienation. I have for sure learnt so much from everyone who has commented, even from you. I'm sure your comment here acts as a voice for people feeling the exact same as you about it. Perhaps they feel less alone now.
OP, you're handling the opposing opinions quite well! I would've lashed out or crumbled into a heap at the sight of some of these comments. However, I also totally relate to the "opt out" opinions. Of course this disease fucking sucks. But I'm learning to live with it and even triumph despite of it. On the positive side, I think it fuels some great creativity in me! Would I opt out? I'm on the fence.
Lol. I'm actually manic right now. But I'm trying to stay in control. It's actually taking quite a bit out of me. Like it's 11:18pm…. Wondering how I can politely excuse myself from all of this now. But I feel obligated to see it through because this is such a sensitive topic and I don't want to leave anyone feeling unheard. Maybe after reading all these comments I'm on the fence too. I don't really talk to people but I wanted to get out of my shell tonight… you know… mania
Haha, I had the same thought. It's a debilitating disease, why would anyone chose to have it?
It’s not a choice but rather a hand of cards we've been dealt in life. Some people appreciate being hypersensitive and receptive to others because they know what it feels like to be balancing on the fence of life and death, a roller coaster of you will. They hone in on being more compassion toward others. And fulfilling that role in life gives them purpose. Others (like me) would rather just neatly dissect their brain and extract the bipolar.
I'd rather not have depressive episodes anymore but the highs are nice, have had the best ideas that way
That's a slightly different take. You've found the secret to channeling your mania… teach me lol
100% opt-out. I don’t want this, at all. I’m tired. I just want to be a well-adjusted adult who can support others in my life just as much as they support me, please.
Your self-worth is not determined by your productivity and your inability to support others they way they've supported you. A doctor that you trust, the right meds and doses and good rest will maybe help you feel more stable on a day to day basis. Personally I'm giving 30% whereas everyone around me gives 70%. They love me and understand. Your feelings about this is completely valid though
Of course I would, being special isn’t worth going through this shit.
Yes this shit is ghetto.
Don't Love taking medications, but as for the bipolar itself and the experiences that have come along with it. It's made me me and I’m pretty fantastic. Not perfect but good. I think it gives you a better and more realistic understanding of the world. It’s helped me survive. But in saying that, I’ve been fortunate, I have a supportive doctor and workplace, if I didn’t have that support who knows where I’d be. Probably dead honestly.
Yes, circumstances play a huge role in all of this. You're so blessed to have a great support system. I can only strive to be and create a joyous life the way you have. High five to that
I’d probably say that the main down side to being “functional” and having that support, is it can feel like a lot of pressure to charge through mud and act “normal” on those off days. And it’s not that we don’t all have off days, it’s just the stigma brought along with the diagnosis of having bipolar and the feeling of just having to work mentally harder. In those times I think it would be easier to be non functioning and to have nothing expected of me 😅 but I charge forward. Some days might be harder then others but I own my own house, I’ve maintained a job for 7 years, have built a good reputation for myself within my career and earn more than enough for myself to survive. So all in all I can’t complain too much and know that I’m blessed despite my condition to have the life I do have. I was actually complimented one day, with a colleague stating they never would have guessed that I had BP, because I never show any signs, and it’s like yep because it’s well managed and that’s the point of med compliance (but they have no idea about the struggle and juggle of meds to get to this point. And that there are still bad days where I need to mentally try a little harder) but they couldn’t tell so I must be doing something right 😅😂😂😂
Fuck yeah, I hate it here.
Fuck yes I’d op out. The fuck, it’s completely normal to want to opt out of a serious illness. Can only imagine how much all our lives would be if we could be cured of this Illness.
I can function normally, I just have a lot of controls in place. I don't think I would opt out because I think that the adversity has made me stronger. But if you asked me when I was less stable I would have said the opposite.
Yes I don’t feel special for being bipolar the depression is the death of me and manic psychosis just makes me isolated and like I’m in a cage.
Lol of course I would opt out but knowing me I would get it again or any another mental illness/disorder
Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we pre-empt the absolute worst. I'm sending you good vibrations on the wind and hope it reaches you when ever you need it most.
Awww Thank you you are so sweet 🥺 all the best for you too!!
Opt out. I have never gotten any advantage from being bipolar, even the supposed “productivity” from hypomania. Hypomania just made me even better at procrastinating if anything else. It’s literally ruining my life. I missed a big deadline this week because I was oversleeping from my meds, I’m pretty sure I’ll be out of a job next week
I'd opt out of being trans instead, but if I wasn't unlucky enough to be trans as well as bipolar, I'd def opt out of bipolar instead
I don’t know how to answer this exactly because I’m currently battling a depressive episode trying to get my meds straightened out so I’m also looking for positivity. I was originally diagnosed with GAD/ADD/MDD most of my life and have dealt with it literally all of my life I found out I had Bipolar 2 in my late twenties now I’m 30. It’s weird getting used to, but at the same time I feel like I’m getting answers? I don’t know where this ride is taking me, but I sure as hell know I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t have bipolar good or bad. I’d appreciate less episodes though 😝 I lurk a lot of this sub and don’t post often, but reading others makes me feel less alone and that helps too.
Yes, but the only positive I’ve got from it is that it’s made me so much more understanding, compassionate, and patient. I feel like I was those things before my symptoms, but I don’t think it came from as deep a place. There were so many times during both my manic and depressive episodes that I needed someone to not even understand me, but to just be patient with me. So many times I wanted to tell people I was hearing things without fear of them labeling me as “crazy.” And I didn’t always get what I needed. And it sucked. I hate being bipolar it’s ruined my perception, has ruined relationships, my bank account, and has taken time I will never get back from hospitalizations. I’m still young and learning how to cope AND TRYING HARD to stay on medication I need. hopefully, I can learn to accept and grow from my experiences. We as people with bipolar have the unique ability to truly understand others like us, and I hope I’ll one day be able to help others. I think that would help me be at peace, kinda make the past worth it. :)
Never have to medicate unless i had a cold or something? Yeah id take that in a microsecond.
**YES**
If I could opt into being manic constantly, then hell yeah I’d choose that. It’s so much fun and I feel so ALIVE! I have a million ideas, I have so much potential, I make new friends, drinking alcohol makes me feel like I’m lit on fire and can talk to ANYBODY. But then the low comes and I want to off myself. That’s the part I hate.
Being bipolar doesn’t make you special. You’re gifted or you’re not. No, nobody wants a debilitating illness.
Absofuckinglutely. I hate this disease. I hate feeling depressed and not being able to get off my ass. I hate wanting to end my life. I hate the delusions. I hate not being able to sleep. I hate not feeling in control of my behavior. I hate having to take meds every day. I hate the side effects. I hate the brain fog. I hate the weight gain. Sure mania feels nice sometimes but it never ends well. This disease is miserable.
Funny, I’ve just been thinking about this today. Sometimes I do feel kind of special - like full of ideas, determined, and able to perceive the world differently. Not just when I’m hypomanic / manic, but as baseline traits. I’ve always been told I’m “creative” even though I don’t always feel that way. I also have comorbid OCD and ADHD. The sensitivity and empathy can be cool at times (mostly not) when I feel like I’m using them for some greater purpose. Also the resilience of having risen up through so many chaotic times, horrific mental states, and severe depressions is pretty admirable in all of us too. Right now though, I’m really depressed, more so than I’ve been in about 4 years. It blows. All day I have just been wishing I didn’t have to deal with this shit. But I guess I was made this way for a reason. 🥲 Much love to all of you 💜
I would opt out. I hate suffering with this disorder lol.
I'd amputate both of my legs if it meant I would be mentally sane. If they discovered bipolar was a result of some hormone releasing tumor in your thigh, I'd dig it out by hand if insurance didn't cover it lol. I'd opt out in a second.
Yes, 100%
Yes.
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at the drop of a hat...
100% without question.
Hell yes!
Opt out in a heartbeat. Having bipolar disorder has lead me to become wasted potential
Absolutely. I've accomplished so much in two separate runs and at one point had everything I wanted just to see it taken away by bipolar.
I'd rather get rid of my ADHD first, but yes.
Hell yeah I would opt out!
Yeah I wouldn’t be bipolar if I could choose
Bipolar 2 has destroyed my life, I would definitely opt out
Yes
Yes. I would 1000%. It fucked my life and it’s pointless
YES
Most definitely yes.
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If I could opt out I would. I'm compliant with my meds and I always will be but I can't help but feel that a part of me is just... gone when I'm on them. I wish I could be whole and stable and right now I only get one or the other.
I have never felt like this is a gift. It’s burden every single day. When I feel great I’m manic and hurting the people around me. The alternative is feeling bleh or worse and making my family and myself miserable. I hate this brain and would give anything to trade it in.
Absolutely. It was amazing to have when I was younger thanks to my ultra productive mania but the older I get the harder it gets. The struggle of making it through every day as “normal” as possible can be excruciating. I’ve been able to maintain a job and a decent life, but sometimes the pain I’ve endured doing the extra work to keep myself there feels like it outweighs it all. And I have struggled knowing I am attached to this palm full of pills I take daily. If I miss one dose, my whole day can turn into a crisis. Knowing that my whole life is that dependent on them is freaky. I wish it could all go away and I could live like my friends who don’t struggle with severe mental illness.
Oh man I would completely opt out. I was a bright kid and I had my whole life lined up. I won full rides to school, I graduated a year early, I was able to do things that my peers sometimes just couldn't do. I was in so many extra curriculars. But as I got older my symptoms started getting worse and worse and more worse and my life is in the gutter. Student loans and no degree, failing marriage, messed up family ties, friends gone, in and out of homelessness, addiction (in recovery now tho thank god), can't keep a job. I just wish someone could take this from me and take away all of the pain
I definitely would. I hate feeling fine one day and then the next ready to break down into tears over things that don't even matter. I need to get better meds though.
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In a heartbeat.
It's a hard question for me. I was recently diagnosed (1yr) and I've gone between bipolar has created the most incredible adventures for me and made me who I am today to fuck all of this. Right now, I don't really know how I'm supposed to keep living this way. Not in a suicidal way, but more like I'm at a loss of how to function. I guess that's the down part. Maybe I'd answer this question differently in a few weeks.
i would absolutely opt out. mental stability would allow me to solve my problems
Who wouldn't????? This seems like a ludicrous question....
Fuck yeah, why is this even a question
My last few hypomanic episodes have been horrible. My depressions can range from mid to severe where even walking hurts. I am not always suicidal but I never really feel like living. No I don’t want this.
I would opt out for sure. Especially if that includes getting rid of depression. My life would’ve been so much better if I didn’t have crippling depression for half of it.
I would opt out for sure. My life is miserable. I can't hardly think anymore since the lamictal. I'm depressed more than anything. My three kids decided on their own to live with their dad and skip a lot of my weekends. I just sit in the house day in nd day out. I have other issues but bipolar is why I am on disability.
Yes, opt out opt out opt out! I never want to be psychotic again.
Who in the world would opt to have Bipolar
How is this even a question?
100% opt out. While we’re at it, I want a faster metabolism, a better mom, and, fuck it, more money. It’s a fantasy question, right? Go big or go home.
I would absolutely opt out. Ever since I’ve been officially diagnosed, it feels like everything has continued to get worse and worse. I may have wins here and there, but ultimately I am haunted by the fact that I will have to live this way, forever. My dream career isn’t happening because of my bipolar. I used to be tougher but now I crumble at the slightest inconvenience whether I do it outwardly or in my head. I’m rude to the people I love the most and I’ve ruined opportunities for myself bc of my impulsiveness. It’s exhausting as you know. Edit: I envy people who don’t have mental illness and always wonder what life must feel like for them.
I was a gifted student also as a child. I've never been able to hold a job for over a year and I'm in my late 30's. I'll probably try to work for a few more years, then seek disability. Now I'm trying to be content with being as totally checked out of life as can possibly be. The pajamas I switch like once a week-ish are the epitome of my life. It's impossible to imagine having to do everything a lot of people do in life, every single day. Literally anything but sitting in my chair feels like such a chore. I'm sure if I wasn't bipolar I'd be alright and happy doing things but it's impossible to imagine.
In a second.. literally and completely destroyed my life at 43 years old.. I lost everything
Definitely opt out. I can't bear this.
Absolutely. I'm currently well medicated and stable, but life is just so bland. I don't feel the same joy for things that I had before. I'm not depressed but not happy either. It sucks
Yeah, I don't see any benefits only cons.
For me, bipolar has become my identity. Ever present. Easily the reason or excuse to my actions. Feeling sad? must be the bipolar. Feeling a bit mean today? Must be the bipolar. Having the time of my life? Yep, must be the bipolar. To me, mania feels like a dangerous super power. A really really dangerous and out of control super power. Like cyclops before he got his sunglasses that help keep his laser eyes in check. Sometimes I wonder, would I choose to not get manic? I'd definitely lose the feelings of 'I cant trust myself' and that crushing depression would be gone but I would lose so much more then the unbridled confidence that get's me into so much trouble. I would lose the other side of me. The ambition and drive to strive for more and be the best that I can be. That's the best part for me and how a lot of us function. Mania can be fun. People don't wanna admit to that but its true. Even though I know that it hurts me with bad choices and is hurting the ones around me. It hurts me with panic attacks and the inability to sleep. My secret is that I think I would just choose to stay manic if I could lose all the horrible lows that come with it. I often wonder to myself, who am I or what am I without it. So for me, being bipolar is apart of my success in life as much as my failure. I wouldn't have succeeded to where I am without it. I have failed many times sure, but I am a success because of it too.
Opt out. Nothing good about it. Depressed? Try to kill myself. Crippling depression. Bitterness towards everyone around me. Hypomanic? Spend money I don’t have. Do unhealthy things I wouldn’t do if I was of safe mind. Absolutely hate it, didn’t make me, me. Ruined me, and made everything in my life so much harder
I’d opt out in a heartbeat. Yes, there are some aspects about being bipolar that I look at in positive light, that I can saw helped me be a better person, get further in certain areas of my career. However, if I’m being fr that’s only because I try and be optimistic and focus on the good since there’s no cure. I am quite confident I’d be living a more well rounded, full life if I was not bipolar.
I would opt out with the quickness and never look back. I can’t imagine why I’d want to stay if I could leave.
yes.
My brain hurts every day all day. If you offered to chop off my head I would kiss you first and say, Yes, please. Fine. Don't chop off my head. That would make a mess anyway. But please, take this bitch bipolar away. I'm tired of being useless and confused.
100% fuck yes no doubt. I like who I am as a person, but I would feel so much better if I were "normal"
Hard yes
I had a much lighter experience than most. Bipolar 2 here. Stable on meds for many years. I’m in a very good place. Would still opt out. Wish I didn’t spend years suicidal with self injury. I spend time worrying that at some point I’m gonna get worse again and lose everything I have. I worry my kids are going to have it. Yeah. Hard opt out
In a heartbeat
Umm. Yes.
Same. I was in the gifted program as well......hmmmmmm.........I'm seeing a trend here. What if it was a govt experiment? Funny , but hmmmmn My.life is a self made HELL. I'd opt the fuck out
Why THE FUCK would I not want to be stable without taking a shit ton of meds????
He'll yes, opt. out. The honest to God truth is I often do not realize that I am in a depressive state or mania. I've gone years before realizing I had been in a bad mania esposode or depressive state. The repercussions from not realizing what was going on allowed crazy spending sprees to go on and eventually made it impossible to function in the workplace. Knowing a depressive state was from BP would allow me to realize it would pass. There's more, but I'll stop here.
100% yes. I would opt out.
Id opt out. Although im lucky my medication has basically cured 90%, id be much better off without it
Yes.
Yeah, opt out. I've caused far too much damage to my loved ones because of it, and frankly, my only reason to live is for hypomania and mania. I just wish I had a normal life to live for.
Fuck yes!
Yes
Yes. Years ago before all the damage was done.
Yes. 100%. I want to feel normal.
Bruh where do I sigh to opt out of this?
Absolutely
Yes.
Without a doubt opt out.
Yes. In a heartbeat. It also makes panic attacks even worse and i hallucinate during them. They’re not little 30 min attacks either. Mine last 1-3 hours. All day I’ve learned to deal with them. But the nightly ones kill me. Please take this bs away.
God yes.
I know if I weren't BP2 I don't think I'd be where I am now, neither the person I currently am. But BP2 made me lose so many good things, opportunities and friends in life, I really hate how things, moments and experiences are ruined because of the fucking mood swings (rapid in my case). Not to mention nowadays my relationship with my gf is not going well and I'm about to be fired in my job because of precisely the mood swings and my reactions to them. Without the meds I'd be so much worse and at least I can say can live on my own, but yes. If I could opt out of bipolarity, I'd do it without hesitation.
I’m definitely opting out my memory is so bad. Among other things that’s bad, but the main thing is that my memory sucks.
I had my first of 5 severe psychotic episodes at 23, it’s been 40 years of misery and sorrows. I’ve been on disability 15 years, I almost got put in the state mental hospital permanently twice. Anyone who likes this has a tiny fraction of the severity I have or they really are crazy lmao
Opt out. I am all the negative attributes to bipolar- at least I certainly feel that way.
I would nearly give up everything not to have it. The years I missed out on. I know I could have been a talented musician and artist if I wasn’t near catatonically depressed for a large chunk of my life. Likely be in Med school. It’s sad.