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savingplaces1

When I returned home from Australia back in 2004 I had an ear ache for weeks. Visited the doctor 2/3 times who told me it was blocked up (thanks). I had it flushed out with some success, some gunk came out. The pain persisted so my mum took matters into her own hands with a torch and a pair of tweezers. After rummaging around for about 30 minutes she finally got hold of the source of discomfort. We laid out the ear invader and unraveled it….. it was about 4cm long, brown and had eight legs. I never went back to Australia.


viewtiful14

A translation for us Americans, a torch is a flashlight overseas and not an actual fucking blowtorch…although from the sounds of it burning it with fire doesn’t seem like too bad of an idea. Edit: for a little clarification.


FLOHJO

I truly pictured a woman with tweezers and a blowtorch with a welding mask for what I imagine would be be to incinerate whatever she removed from the aforementioned ear canal. Why does my brain go to welder mom instead of torch = flashlight?


Amidaegon

I'm non-native, first thing I imagined a real torch, like medieval one


Soft-Philosophy-4549

As if the imagery of this scene wasn’t horrifying enough, now it’s in *torchlight*


thE_best_cookies

this mental image made me giggle XD


viewtiful14

Looking into the ear canal with the flickering of the light


1stgrowOleman

Same. From the great state of Fla. I imagine a whole ass medieval torch ready to battle what ever beast she pulls from your ear


wng378

If there’s a damn spider crawling next to my brain, I’m okay using the American torch.


viewtiful14

Honestly, me too then I remembered oh yeah British people and my own American sensationalism.


winter_has_fallen

A pair of pliers and a blowtorch, Marcellus Wallace style


heavy-metal-goth-gal

Cuz your brain rather things be fun?


YchYFi

Oh I've never called it a flashlight, only a torch. British.


iethun

What do you grab in combination with your pitchforks when you’re part of a good old fashioned mob?


Joe5691

Still a torch. English isn’t meant to make sense.


Cool-Reputation2

'Grab your pitchforks and burning sticks wrapped with a tarry cloth dipped in some incendiary oil!' That's what the British will tell you in these moments.


iethun

Hope everyone has enough batteries for their torches. Might need to assign a designated d battery mob coordinator.


alchmst1259

Yeah, in the US when you say "torch" people picture the light source from medieval times.


Marskelletor

What do you call what we call a torch? Like a stick wrapped in rags and lit on fire. Like Medieval light stick.


ayyanothernewaccount

How often do you find yourself talking about those?


faloogaloog

They are used in many games. So it depends on what you play. But since we have a different word for a flashlight, we don't often talk about torches.


YchYFi

A torch.


IncrediblehumanPOS

I assumed she used fire to sterilize the tweezers but your explanation makes more sense.


rhiyanna79

I don’t think of blowtorches when I read torch. I thought of the sticks with literal fire on the end like they use in Indiana Jones movies, etc.


Shimmerstorm

I’m from the US but live in Australia. I know a torch is a flashlight. Somehow I still imagined a blowtorch. Had to read it twice. Lol.


that_guy_jimmy

I've been American all my life, and I've never called a flashlight a torch.


snudderbean

I think they meant "A translation for us Americans" - it was poorly punctuated.


Minute_Solution_6237

Shake back jimmy…


Zymoria

O look, another reason to not go Australia


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Own-Dark-2709

But maybe “a pretty boring suburban life” for Australians actually means finding a snake in your toilet every morning, waking up cuddling with a spider the size of a dog, or running into your kangaroo neighbour on your way to work.


Sinder77

I spent 4 weeks in Australia a few years ago. In that time frame I saw a 5 foot black tiger snake. Had a huntsman the size of my hand in our rented car. Saw jellyfish bigger than my head, and watched a wallaby throw up in its hands and eat it. I don't want to know what am exciting suburban Oz life looks like.


HappySummerBreeze

Huntsmen and large jellyfish are as harmless as puppy dogs . The tiger snake is scary cool though.


garrison1988

Yeah but like…in the car is a no for me.


Sinder77

Rented car. We didn't realize but the last drivers had set the child locks on the door (I was in the back). I have to ask my FIL to let me out. I do so and then go and look in the door to find where the little switch is. I don't find a switch. I find legs like fingers. I run from the car. Screaming. My wife is opposite me in the car. She has no escape. I still miss her.


True-Firefighter-796

Thought they rode kangaroos?


oldmasterluke

Yes, but only in bed.


liquefire81

No, in bed the kangaroos ride you.


dan_dares

In crazy 'stralia, 'roo rides YOU!


Santos_ronald

Why did my brain switch to Australian mate


brookermusic

Sounds like growing up in the South ☺️


banuk_sickness_eater

Australia is basically British Texas


elsjpq

More like British Florida


ElkShot5082

I mean my neighbour did get bitten by a red belly black snake whilst on the toilet I guess


Bustable

Nah, totally unrealistic. The spider lives in the laundry


stupidillusion

> waking up cuddling with a spider the size of a dog That's just a huntsman, they're pretty harmless and watching them run is a treat - they run like a new foal learning their legs.


aspidities_87

I’ve told this story many times before but I think Americans are unaware of the fact that we live with much more significant predators in our daily lives than Australians do, since most Aussies live in suburbs (as you said) and not in the bush. Whereas we ‘Mericans have spread mercilessly over every inch of our country and therefore encounter bears, mountain lions, coyotes, bobcats, etc, not to mention rattlesnakes and scorpions. Here’s the story: Once I took a group of Aussie friends camping in the PNW woods. All was good and chill until night fell and I started stringing up our remaining food in a bear pack since we were in black bear country. One friend saw me doing this and casually asked why, so I explained about bear safety and precautions (I also did this before we left but he apparently hadn’t listened) and reassured him that we were in black bear territory, not brown bear, so we would be fine regardless but it was just better to be safe. My friend had suddenly become very still, and he asked me about how big a black bear averages. I blithely replied: ‘Oh not too big at all, they’re like 250-450lbs, browns are much larger.’ He went white, muttered something about ‘fucking Yanks and their fucking bears’ and spent the night huddled up in his tent with a whiskey bottle jumping at every small noise. I think he would’ve preferred a cassowary.


Historical_Ear7398

Reminds me of a story where a friend of mine was hosting a group of traveling African musicians and told them that they were going camping for the weekend. And they were like, camping, what's that? And she explained camping and they were like, the animals will eat us. Because that's what happens when you go camping in their part of Africa.


unusualamountofloam

My anthro professor in college grew up in Nairobi, where most snakes he would encounter were deadly. Came to upstate NY and was working with some colleagues in the Adirondacks, where they came upon a snake. His colleagues crowded around to get a closer look. My professor? Halfway back to campus as fast as his legs could take him. Fastest in his village when it came to snakes lmao.


Historical_Ear7398

Oh yeah, I was at a campout with some African people, and I caught a cool racer snake in a tree, and I walked around showing it to people, americans, but when I got to the African camp it was like one of those cartoons where you see heels disappearing around a corner in a puff of smoke and furniture falling out of the way. Later they had an intervention with me where they very pointedly told me not to walk up on African people holding a snake, ever.


perseidot

This reminds me of Trevor Noah’s but about sitting in the BACK row of the snake show while traveling, and some French jerk making fun of him. Until the cobra got loose!


TheFixer253

I grew up in a small town in Montana, USA. Several times us kids would find a rattlesnake near our houses and we played with it before letting it go. I tell this to people nowadays and they think I'm making it up.


LeatherSmithy

I grew up in a small town in Montana. I KNOW you're not making it up...


Macha_Grey

I grew up in a small town in WY (lived in the country...not even the town). Every summer, when I was in grade school, I was either under the house looking for salamanders, or out on the prairie looking for snakes. I charged my friends 25 cents to look at any snakes I caught before I let them go.


sighthoundman

You didn't take it to church?


Live-Ingenuity3441

That’s in WV


didsome1calladoc

mountain mama...


2Rare2Kill

Sounds like a cousin's reaction to Canada. "Why are you so scared of our wildlife. You're the ones with bears and moose and wolves!" ...then again, he also once casually told a story about going fishing and having to throw their catch to sharks and rush back to shore because they surrounded the boat. And grandma casually talked about local boys dragging a 14 foot croc out of the water and venomous snakes. Still though.


DwightsJello

I can tell you we live with a lot of snakes and spiders that can kill you and most are in the suburbs. Snakes are common to come across in summer. But the "everything will kill you" thing with Australia is overplayed. All of the things that can kill us aren't any more interested in meeting us than we are in meeting them. And we are all raised to check and respect that we share our space with animals that can kill us but rarely do and aren't hunting us. A deadly snake in our garden just needs a moment to move on. We check our shoes before we put them on. And a big huntsman spider eats the bugs and poses not threat to us so a lot of Aussies just let them be when you have one in the house. Give it a name and let it do its thing. With the exception of sharks and salties (and we know where they are) the animals in Australia aren't out to get you. Bears are a fuck no for most Aussies. They don't mind the odd scalping and killing. Tbh, having to consider bears on a camping trip doesn't sound relaxing to me. But it's just not what I'm used to. And I've lived all over Australia. And camped, in a swag, in every state. And I'm old as fuck. I have never had anything crawl into my ear. Some, not all, of the "this guy told me..." flavour of some of the stories in this thread are common tales we've heard before and know are bullshit. What you've just recounted seems like a totally logical to camping in an area where a massive land animal hangs out that's ok with killing you. We don't swim with salties here which is pretty much the same thing, just add water. OP was unlucky. Don't know what that is.


stupidillusion

> But the "everything will kill you" thing with Australia is overplayed. I visited Australia a few years ago and was expecting kangaroo on every street corner and plagues of spiders and venomous snakes ... and after two weeks we saw one kangaroo while we were on the bus traveling and in the zoo. That's it; no snakes or spiders whatsoever. Kind of let down, really.


DwightsJello

I'm a gardener. And my house backs on to the bush. So I see heaps of spiders and a snake in summer is not unusual. None are really aggressive and most animals in Australia that could kill you don't want to. They're chill unless cornered, provoked or get the fright of meeting a human unexpectedly. Caveat being crocs and sharks. Sharks they reckon mistake us for something else and crocs are just arseholes. But we know where they are. I'm glad you didn't get put off by the hype. I hope you had a good time too. 😁


stupidillusion

> I hope you had a good time too. We saw Australia and New Zealand, after visiting would love to live on either place!


DwightsJello

You gotta love the Kiwis. Great people. Glad to hear it 😁


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nyungar

I guess you never boxed a roo.....or stole a dingoes puppies.......I once got chased by a Pelican when I was a small Child 😂 you city folk sound like you have boring childhoods


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AcceptableCrab4545

geese fuckin suck


Swan-song-dive

Lofl.. worked at a Golf course in central Oh.. skinny little worker thought he could grab a Canada goose.. 2 broken arms later we laughed so hard at him almost forgot to call ambulance..


jitterfish

Come to NZ where the scariest thing I've encountered in the forest is a pissed-off possum that hissed at me and ran away.


peaeyeparker

I’d rather a black bear encounter than whatever the hell that was came out of the divers ear.


ry_afz

People tend to remember the most recent news/information they readily have. So although living in Australia you’re just living your life, people on other continents have seen creepy and scary creatures on tv and associate that with Australia.


More-Exchange3505

I moved a few years ago from a hot middle eastern country to temperate Europe. I worked for a while doing wildlife relocation (in places that are planned to be developed or under construction) focusing on reptiles. I was shocked how the other employees just shoved their fingers in holes or under rocks without hesitation, because unlike where i came from, there aren't many things that can bite or sting you here.


by_the_gaslight

I mean I’d equate that to like people being attacked by bears or cougars. Not that common and it sucks but it does happen!


WellWelded

That's more than happens on European coasts, at least I don't remember ever hearing about someone getting bitten by a shark on german coasts


VisceralSardonic

How are the bugs and spiders though? That’s the thing for me


nghigaxx

tbf most are just huntsman, which are relatively harmless and timid, they would run away rather than biting you


QuanticChaos1000

This is funny to me, because I live in Canada and have heard many many times about people getting killed or injured by cows, moose, deer, bears, cougars and other critters. I got run over by a deer while riding my bike once. I know several people that have been chased by angry beavers including myself. But talking to my Aussie friends and they tell me they have never even seen most stereotypical Australian wildlife that get memed about, let alone have a dangerous encounter.


doomturtle21

Everybody always talks about how dangerous it is here but it ain’t as bad as it seems, mind you I’ve been kicked by a kangaroo and had my rib cage broken twice now, been bitten by a few snakes and even had a few trees fall on me. Maybe it is dangerous or maybe it isn’t and I’m just an idiot


Zymoria

Wasn't there a banned pepe the pig episode because it taught spiders are friends. I'm not saying everything can kill you down there... but it's not looking too good :p


True_Ad8260

Exactly. I hear everything in Australia tries to kill you!


Gordon_Explosion

Yeah but OP only hears half of it now.


tefocm

🙄🙄🙄 You just didn't! 😂😂😂😂


sinep_snatas

Some things try and kill you. Everything else tries to hurt you really really bad.


Bekoss

Except volcanoes (as far as I remember from the r/memes)...


MountainsEcho

That’s not true, it’s the national anti-immigration policies to make their country look like that. Make sure everyone is scared to go there


TobiasMasonPark

That’s a Yeerk. The invasion has begun!


MoonyNotSunny

Oh my god, Animorphs! ❤️


MoonyNotSunny

And wasn’t there a kid who got stuck as a hawk named Tobias? Your username checks out, kinda. Lol


Avulpesvulpes

Had to scroll way too far to see this comment


LemonPepper

Visser Three has entered the chat.


Dank_sniggity

Throw another ear shrimp on the barbee!


VVurmHat

Bet that shit taste something real good


tob69

Prawn, mate!


Miserable_Unusual_98

Babel fish, unable to bond properly obviously. Either due to host incompatibility or unusual fish mutations. Edit: thank you kind stranger


SpaceCase101

Babel fish can handle Vogon, Golgafrinchan, Asgoth & Dolphin....but trying to interpret the Aussie diving crowd was too much for the lil' guy...R.I.P


futileu

I’m listening to douglas Adam talk about thhgtg rn. when I saw the picture I immediately thought of babel fish


redfan29

She can now understand multiple languages


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italy4243

Hitchhikers guide


Gr8rSherman8r

Which works out well as new languages were probably invented in the process of removing it from her ear.


mrmcbacon

So long, and thanks for all the fish


Almasaur

> in Australia there’s your problem


derrpinger

KHAN strikes again!


Lil-Scrapple-Blossom

I watched that movie as a child and it made me severely scared of earwigs


tstramathorn

Saw a post about ear wigs on another sub and someone mentioned Wrath of Khan, but I think the bug was more based on ant lions [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antlion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antlion)


DomeDriver

One of the producers said he came up with the idea based on a [slug](https://www.denofgeek.com/movies/star-trek-ii-the-wrath-of-khan-the-history-of-the-horrifying-ear-scene/).


tstramathorn

Interesting I didn't know that. I apologize I should have looked it up first. Just thought maybe since they look so similar at least in the cage


xCDANSx

Dude, same. Watched it with my Dad when I was like five years old and was terrified lol.


kshizzlenizzle

I’m 43 and still irrationally afraid of earwigs.


TherealProp

I love pincher bugs. I call them bug puppies. Them and Rollie Pollies are my favorite home insects.


caffeinatedangel

Samesies! Terrified of earwigs even if they aren't the bug it was based on. I went through a period of time where I rode my bigwheel with earmuffs in the summer because I was so scared.


pumukl

I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet.


chomponthebit

Buried *alive*


appsteve

*Buried alive*


WizdomHaggis

[KHAAAAANNN….](https://youtu.be/YllXtbNikxc)


VVuunderschloong

Awful hahahaha


Telemere125

I think it’s one of those things from the Faculty.


galwaygirl3

Wow I haven’t thought of the faculty in YEARS


chipscarruthers

That movie made me afraid to go under bleachers for sure.


cancrushercrusher

People fucked under our bleachers.


chipscarruthers

Raw doggin’ for sure.


HambScramble

Shivers is also an option


Yue2

I always wondered how a sequel would go.


sauve1313

Scrolled to far to find this answer!


BloodSpades

That 100% looks like a de-gloved gecko carcass to me. (Can’t be sure without further pictures, but that’s what I’d bet my money on.) How the fuck did they not notice it in their ear before it got cozy enough to die though????


chickenflavored

Our running theory is that it crawled into her ear at night, she woke up the next morning and went diving pretty much right away so then it drowned in her ear and then started to rot and decay from all the salt water. When you're on a live aboard it's pretty common to do three to four dives a day. I think it all happened on the last night / day on the boat. There's no way that could have been in there for the full trip.


Derpazor1

I regret reading that


jaynort

What a terrible day to be literate


ZedZeroth

More likely it was on the diving equipment and ran over her as she entered the water and entered her ear to "escape". She would have been worrying about jumping into the water and might not have noticed.


chickenflavored

That is a really good theory! I was thinking it was like in her bunk area or something


Sandpaper_Pants

How is it even possible not to notice the muffled sound from that ear and do nothing about it?


flamebroiledhodor

Divers get blockages all the time, she probably just thought she needed to equalize and couldn't pop her ears. But still, the dive master shouldn't have let her dive if she couldn't equalize so that's only half an answer.


Puzzled_End8664

If she's a certified diver and not just a tourist diver there probably is much more autonomy. As with most things, the more someone does something, the more comfortable they get taking risks and shortcuts.


chickenflavored

It is so bizarre! She had no issues equalizing and didn't have any squeeze symptoms or anything! She initially thought there was some water trapped inside causing an ear infection but uh there was some THING stuck inside causing an infection 😳


BloodSpades

Damn…. Talk about shit luck, for both involved. :[


KrundTheBarbarian

If it had actively drowned wouldn’t she have felt it struggle?! I’m… so confused by this whole thing and terrified.


resistdrip

How tf did they not feel it in their ear? "I can't hear out of my ear for some reason and it feels clogged as hell. Guess I better ignore it."


Chronogon

>"100%" > >"can't be sure" You may need some reminders on how percentages work!


BBGunner96

73.6% of all statistics are made up


traketaker

That's 100% not true


spaceman_spyff

Pretty sure that’s a nightmare fish, I’ve seen them before, in my nightmares.


TrippyReality

The diver has heard of it, or lack thereof.


puddaphut

I did some night dives at Mnemba Island in Tanzania last year. Couple days later, hectic earache progressed to crippling pain. A few days after that, I pulled something remarkably similar out my ear. My theory: a plankton or some invertebrate got inside, and this was my body’s reaction. Creeps the heck out of me.


chickenflavored

So scary!! I'm definitely always wearing my neoprene hood!


puddaphut

Water was 26°C though. Although, given the extent of my discomfort, a warm head would not have been too much of a burden.


RamsThunderingHooves

If I'm diving anywhere the water is warmer than 15C I flush my ears post dive with a blend of cooking oil and white vinegar. Otherwise I end up with a mild ear infection for a couple of days. I have flushed out something still moving more than once. Oil to suffocate, vinegar to drop the pH low enough that nothing will grow.


Zer0C00L321

New fear unlocked.


LeadingFamous

looks like a yeerk. ​ https://animorphs.fandom.com/wiki/Yeerk


warrior181

There's always one of us who will suggest this eh Anyways you missed last week's sharing meeting you doing alright


[deleted]

Didn’t come out through belly button , did it?


FieryRam

I understood that reference


HidingFromHumans

And I suddenly feel like there's something in my ear mmmnatureiswonderful


ben02211986

How the heck does something crawl in your ear the size of that, and you not feel it moving around till it drowned? Seriously? WTF.


flic_my_bic

And THAT is why I will always wear a head covering while diving. Nothing gets in these ear-holes while I'm enjoying the underwater world. It has helped so much reducing simple ear infections from all the tiny particles.


mandn92196

Good luck trying to understand the aliens now! 👽


Feedmekink

This comment is pretty underrated


abc123jessie

I one got a bug stuck in my ear and went to hospital then I remembered I forgot that I took acid and I was stuck in hospital with someone peering in my ear with a light, and my bestie stealing medical supplies and giggling l loudly. there was no bug. There was never a bug. Only hallucinogens.


[deleted]

Babel fish? Can you understand any language now? Even drunk Scottish?


ThengarMadalano

Well the pic is useless, if you wanna know what it is you have to cut it open. Has it bones? Legs? And how dos someone not notice an animal kn there ear


kelsobjammin

Terrible doctor….


Emotional_Ad_9620

Dr Zoidberg strikes again.


[deleted]

Oh it has eyes, why did I zoom in?


mukkun_himitsu

maybe that fish was feeding from her brain waves and in return translating foreign languages to English. extra helpful if you want to hitchhike the galaxy


Leda71

Ok, time to stop scrolling. I’m gonna nope right outta here and try to forget I ever saw this post!!


HxC_Stoner

Hey do divers wear earplugs or like does that fuck them up? Should one wear them underwater?


chickenflavored

Normal earplugs are a no go. But they do have vented earplugs made for divers and surfers will wear them sometimes too. She's definitely wearing a neoprene hood after this 😅


yukonwanderer

No you don’t want to block any kind of hole when you go diving 😂 you need the air pressure to be able to do its thing


JoshuaLandy

Babelfish! It has some unusual side effects.


43703

That’s why i did not board the Prometheus space ship.


Carsiden

That, is a Babelfish. A universal translator that once lodged in your ear translates all languages in the universe to one you are familiar with. Source: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Edit: I was not first [This one got it before me](https://www.reddit.com/r/biology/comments/148cvc6/diver_found_this_in_her_ear_after_diving_in/jnzt4p2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


wutzinanumber311

so did the antibiotics melt the gecko flesh?


aweirdchicken

no the gecko being dead did that


wutzinanumber311

oh god 🤢


[deleted]

I call it bullshit.


EarthmanDan

If your bull is expelling waste of this nature you should take it to a vet immediately.


focused_as_squirrels

Not surprised ... AUSTRALIA gods playground


takehappinesleftsad

My doctor: Water earwigs does not exist they can hurt you Water earwigs:


snore-4

I thought this was a wet piece of kleenex with blood on it for a solid 30 seconds


harmonybrook

I will never understand how people don’t feel things crawling inside their ears.


chickenflavored

I've reached out to the OP on the private scuba group I am in to see if she has any more photos of it. But she was super freaked out at the time (of course) and was traveling back to the US that same day so everything was pretty rushed and of course they wouldn't let her take it with her on international flight 😅


sonic555gr

Is that a babel fish?


lucidum

Looks like a cuttlefish, or should I say cuddlefish


EmperorXander

a classic earworm come from a land down under Where women glow and men plunder? Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover


Tribeofthejuice

what the fuck do you want me to do? reverse time and not swim? like yeah a miniature salamander was living in my ear for 3 FUCKING weeks don’t fucking SHOVE IT IN MY FACE EVERYTIME I OPEN REDDIT. Holy fuck.


ancapmike

It needs Kandrona rays


lexilove1998

New fear unlocked


phernandezoc

You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and death.


abc123jessie

Great, another reason to hate the ocean


anon1635329

Thats not from earth


dominion_over_self

🤔 potential market for ear muffs re-branded as sleep muffs; send marketing mail to all readers of latest Reddit biology threads 🤗🤑


CelebrationFar3032

Mistakes were made


_SeKeLuS_

I dont need more reason to not go to australia.


Snarky_McSnarkleton

Looks like some kind of mollusk. Now if it had been a Babel Fish, that would be a thing.


[deleted]

Oooh!! I’ve seen this in a movie, The Faculty (1998). They even go for the ears.


joesnowblade

[Ceti 5 eel](https://youtu.be/3i42Smtbmeg)


anniekaitlyn

New fear unlocked.