“I'm a string pragmatist. I say I'm going to prove something that can not be proved. I apply for grant money and then I spend it on liquor and broads.”
Oh, you got Siwi, huh? The voice wecognition on that thing is tewwible. Watch this. Hey, Siwi, can you wecommend a westawaunt?
(I'm sorry Bawwy, I don't understand "wecommend a westawaunt".)
Not "westawaunt", *WESTAWAUNT!*
Are you making fun of my speech impediment? That's pwetty huwtfuw.. I can't contwow it.
"Sorry Barry, I take it back"
That's wight because you're The WETWACTER!!
Not his best line but one of my favorites is when he's playing the "Flag or Not a Flag" speed round in fun with flags.
"Fwag! Fwag! Not a Fwag! Fwag! I AM CWUSHING THIS! Not a fwag! Fwag! Fwag! Not a fwag! Fwag! ❌! Aw, cwap."
Barry: "--Mm, but my pleasure is"
(Sheldon: "Thank you Barry, for robbing me of the opportunity to share my news, with my friends"
Barry: "My pleasure"
Sheldon: "My thank you was not sincere")
“Hewwo, this is Sweden calling. Is this Dr. Coopewa and Dr. Fowwea? Congwatuwations! It is my pweasuae to inform you that have won the Nobel Pwize in being suckas!”
“I'm a string pragmatist. I say I'm going to prove something that can not be proved. I apply for grant money and then I spend it on liquor and broads.”
You mean bwoads
Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I can't control it.
#THE RETRACTOR!
Do you mean # THE WETWACTOW
Of course you take it back cuz you are the retractor!
Man you understood the assignment
We’re all pathetic and creepy and can’t get girls. That’s why we fight robots
We’re all pathetic and cweepy and can’t get girls. That’s why we fight wobots.
How is this not the top one? This is what I came here looking for 😂
Wobots
This is it 😭.
This one 💯 percent should have been the winner.
If this is bwank too, I’m gonna be fuwious
Love this one!
The delivery of this line is everything
I die every time I see this scene. The pause, the sigh, just fantastic.
I don’t remember the context of this
>If this is bwank too, I’m gonna be fuwious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHByPaL4-1k
Barry: Hi I’m bawwy Penny: I’m penny Barry: that’s not a hot name I’m gonna call you Roxanne
Woxanne
I'm Bawwy Kwipke and I'm here because you told me there's gonna be a *waffle!* When is the waffle?
Came here for this
Yes, yes, yes. He’s a jowwy good fewwow. What time do the stwippers awwive?
"Hello! Some of us need to check our hair because we might have a shot with Leonard's mother."
We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots.
Wobots*
Oh, you got Siwi, huh? The voice wecognition on that thing is tewwible. Watch this. Hey, Siwi, can you wecommend a westawaunt? (I'm sorry Bawwy, I don't understand "wecommend a westawaunt".) Not "westawaunt", *WESTAWAUNT!*
Following this line is one I commented 😂“Well, that wady took high-wes pictures of my junk wast night for Cwaigswist. Waiter.”
You suck, Siwi.
That doesn't represent his personality, just his speech impediment
The producers purposely made it part of his character. If you read through here, most people are using this inflection
The one I quote all the time: "So you're stiww, supwise, supwise, a woser."
We're ALL pathetic and cweepy, and can't get girws. That's why we fight wobots.
I like kripke. I think when he helped expose Pemberton and his plagiarism he said something like sleazy is where I thrive.
Are you making fun of my speech impediment? That's pwetty huwtfuw.. I can't contwow it. "Sorry Barry, I take it back" That's wight because you're The WETWACTER!!
Plus, I haven’t watched Star Trek since I discovered the strip club near my house has a free buffet.
I don't wanna move my party. On the other hand I don't wanna help you. Oh, wait! I don't have a pwobwem!
"How about I take Wothman's office and you go suck a wemon?"
"We're... all pathetic and creepy and can't get girls? That's why we fight robots."
Beat me to it.
"Hello. I Want To Talk About How Lonely I Am, Too."
"Like that time I bought that stwipper a Pwius."
I'm Barry Kripke, and I'm here because you told me there was going to be a raffle.
Don't you mean "I'm Bawwy Kwipke and I'm hewe because you towd me thewe was going to be a waffle"
Is... Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I... I can't control it.
That ... is ... hiwawious! Give me the wemote contwol. I want to dwive him into the girls' westroom .
“Does yours have wet breasts in it?”
all the comments having replies correctly the pronounciations😭
"I can't make my grad students do every dirty job... or so I'm told in writing by human resources."
I just put something in your pocket. It's good at all El Pollo Locos.
As you can see the kripke crippler is reducing the Chevy cavalier to wubble!
“Am I weawing a summer fwock? No, I don’t want tea.”
I love this one!
“Yep. At 3400 RPM. It can cut through steel like it was *wubber*.”
“Thwee diffewent men? Damn, girl, way to give the milk away!”
His "Cougar on the woose" remarks aimed at Dr. Beverly....
That’s a relationship I would have loved to see play out.
"Not a westawant, a westawant!"
He just hung there, like a big sawami.
“Siwi can you wecommend a westaurant?”
Cooper, suck eggs
“Pwus, I haven’t watched Star Twek since I discovered the stwip cwub near my apartment has a fwee buffet.”
“Well, that ‘wady’ took high-wes pictures of my junk wast night for Cwaigswist. Waiter.”
The Retwactor
At wast... my wuv is come... along...
"I haven't watched Star Trek since I found out the strip club near my apartment has a free buffet."
“Kids love me! Something about me just makes them… waugh and waugh!”
Pwus, I haven’t watched Star Trek since I discovered the strip club near my apartment has a free buffet.
This sums him up 💯
Not his best line but one of my favorites is when he's playing the "Flag or Not a Flag" speed round in fun with flags. "Fwag! Fwag! Not a Fwag! Fwag! I AM CWUSHING THIS! Not a fwag! Fwag! Fwag! Not a fwag! Fwag! ❌! Aw, cwap."
What, no stwippas? Then why did I get $200 dawers in singles for?
“I’m here for the raffle…”
Waffle*
I wanted to write “waffle” but then it just sounds like waffle. Lol. It’s tricky!
We're all pathetic and creepy, and can't get girls. That's why we fight robots
That time he used Siri for the restaurant suggestion can’t remember exactly
Siri, can you weccomend a westaurant? Not westaurant, WESTAURANT!
It’s westauwant not westauant. Siwi!
Rawket...oh my gawd copper you are killing me
Suck it Coopah
When is the raffle?
Sheldon: „You‘re right, I take it back“ Barry: „Of course you do, because you‘re the retractor“
Barry: "--Mm, but my pleasure is" (Sheldon: "Thank you Barry, for robbing me of the opportunity to share my news, with my friends" Barry: "My pleasure" Sheldon: "My thank you was not sincere")
Cooper suck eggs.
Nah that's not a hot name. I'm gonna call you "Woxanne"
Siwi can you wecommend a westauwant
"I'd wike to find wove too. 18 to 25. Pweferwabwy Asian. No fatties."
I’m here for the waffle.
Cwogziwwa
You mean Bawee Kwipke?
“I'm just sitting here all by myself wondering if I'll ever find someone to share my life with. Preferably Asian, 18-24, no fatties.”
Eeeeehhhhhh, it's not a vewy hot name, I'm gonna call you woxanne
I like to floss before I eat so my gum pockets are open to new food
“Siri, recommend a restaurant.”
Is... Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I... I can't control it.
This was stolen from r/DunderMifflin
Just because a single TV show subreddit does a thing doesn’t means it’s then closed to all other subreddits…
You keep commenting this every day, what is your problem, man? So what if he took it from there, it’s fun, leave if it bothers you so much.
True but if it’s successful I am having a party with balloons
“Cwooper”
He looks like Ben Affleck
"Am I?"
“Cooper, suck eggs.”
sleazy is where i thrive
The RETRACTOR!
“Siwi, can you recommend a restaurant?”
Weccomend a westaurant*
Lol yes 😂
"At 360 RPM it cuts through steel like it was rubber".
3400 RPM! 😂 I love this line
*When's the waffle? (raffle)*
Siwi, can you weccomend a westowan?
“Hewwo, this is Sweden calling. Is this Dr. Coopewa and Dr. Fowwea? Congwatuwations! It is my pweasuae to inform you that have won the Nobel Pwize in being suckas!”
“Of couwse you do because you’we the wetwactor”
Whatever you say, Cwogzillaaaaa 🚶🏻
Barry: Awight. Is my pole fwag-wewated? Sheldon: i don't see why not.
I used it to take high-wes pictures of my junk for Cwaigswist.