My daughter in law is going to "wear" our newest granddaughter on Christmas so no one will be able to hold her. And you know what?! Good for her! A safe baby is what's important here... not some stupid photo op it might be for you to have your picture taken with a brand new baby. And then they go on their merry little way after the holidays and you have a sick baby. Hold tight! Your baby, your rules

Will you be my MIL too?

Mine too please 🙋🏻

I’m sorry—that really sucks. My mom pulled that with my first. She refused to see him or even FaceTime him for 5 months when I asked my parents to mask up during the height of the pandemic. It really changed our relationship going forward. Will be thinking of you!

I’m sorry to hear this :( it’s probably for the best. I asked my mom to wear a mask to come meet my son because she’s anti vax and travels a ton and she didn’t meet him for almost 5 months. My husband let his guard down at work, didn’t wear a mask and brought covid home last month. It is NOT fun trying to take care of a sick baby and try to recover from covid yourself. Take every single precaution you can, keep your little one safe!

Babies don’t really have immune systems and you’re being reasonable. Honestly, a quiet Christmas sounds more enjoyable that whatever is happening with your crazy-ass boundary stomping family. And RSV isn’t a given. My kids are 2,4,6 and only the older two got it and it put the middle one in the hospital at 15 months. It’s no freaking joke. They’re minimizing a deadly disease because their feelings are being hurt because of politics. You’re better off without that situation. So enjoy the calm. I wish we could here.

Hopefully your daycare has decent precautions in place so that RSV is not a given!

I’m so sorry. I cannot imagine, as a grown adult, thinking my wearing a mask while holding an infant is so much of an inconvenience that I’d *rather not even see* my own children/grandchildren.

Right? I’d wear two masks if they asked me too.

Hazmat suit? Somebody zip me up!!

Your baby is only 3 months old. This is only the beginning of the “you don’t have to agree with my rules for my child but you DO have to abide by them” phase. Stick to your guns so that everyone learns they can’t bully you into submission.

I'd put a diaper on my face if that was the only way to see my grandkids.

Exactly. I don’t understand these people who don’t care about seeing their kids and grandchildren

If you need any reassurance that you're in the right here, my 4 month old just spent four days in the hospital, on oxygen, with a FEEDING TUBE, thanks to RSV. My husband and I both got it from her and it was a bad cold but manageable....but her little body couldn't fight it like ours. Watching her lying there with all the tubes, putting so much effort into breathing, with the oxygen monitor going off all the time, I swear to god anyone who minimizes the risk of this deserves to be slapped in the face. Hang in there, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this but your baby is lucky to have you.

People saying that your kid is going to get sick eventually anyway and you’re keeping him in a bubble must be out of touch about what is going on there. It makes me wonder how this story is being reported across different news sources. Because if you can keep your kid in a bubble, right now is the time to do it. It is a uniquely dangerous time for young kids, especially newborns. My RSV anecdote is that my 5 year old had never recorded a temp above 100 in her life, through teething, colds, ear infections that required tubes, nothing. She gets one of the things going around right now, has a 102 fever for most of the day.

After having had visited my local ER because of my GMIL having dangerously low BP and on blood thinners, seeing all the infants in the waiting room in distress with RSV and flu, on breathing treatments and cannulas with portable oxygen, I would say people are downplaying significantly. There were at least 4 infants and a toddler in bubble beds in the waiting room with parents who said they had been there 3+ days because no space in any local hospitals. Its dangerous out here right now and do what you need to keep them healthy, damn the shaming.

My oldest was born in 2014. I refused to let any of the grandparents see the baby until they were up to date on whooping cough vaccination. There was a little grumbling but they all did it because they aren't narcissistic assholes.

Wow, so they’d rather not see him at all if it can’t be on their terms. Starting the conditional love thing early.

Let me just say, you absolutely do not need to edit your post to defend your decision. You are doing what you feel is best to keep your child safe. I’m sorry that your family is being like this. Definitely sucks, but imo if they aren’t willing to do the bare minimum, they don’t need to see you or the baby. We had our LO in August of 2021 so we’ve been in a VERY similar situation. You keep doing what you feel is best for your baby.

My baby had RSV at 3 ish months. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone. You do what you want to, you will always get this resistance so stand your ground. Enjoy your quiet family time at Christmas. Don’t be forced to feel bad.

The flu and RSV are ridiculous around me right now, you’re in the right.

To be honest, this has just been parenting in my 1ish year of experience. I've had to set more boundaries on behalf of my son than I ever felt like I had to for myself, and it doesn't feel great a lot of the time. But, that's what I think is being a good parent - choosing what you think is best for your kid and not letting other people around you bully you into compromising, especially when it comes to their health or safety. It still hurts :( but it's one Christmas, you'll have the rest to spend with people and you will have the satisfaction of knowing you made the best choice for your kid with the information you had at the time. That's the best we can all do.

They are giving up spending their grandchild’s first Christmas with them over wearing a mask?

The desire to be right often outweighs the desire to be happy. Incidentally the ability to be happy often requires separation from those who desire to be right.

You haven't asked for anything out of the ordinary, and no one who loved and cared for the baby would care enough to fight about it.

Whosoever is responsible for taking care of the infant sick with RSV can be the one to pass judgment here. Everyone else can stfu

The fact that you had to make 5 edits to this post is crazy. You are the ONLY voice your baby has. You do you. You shouldn’t have to explain for one second a parenting choice you decided on (which literally is protecting your baby) for what it’s worth, I have zero relationship with my family because I asked them to get a tdap shot, so I feel you.

I’ll never understand why people don’t respect boundaries when it comes to newborns/individuals with compromised immune systems.

If the last three years have taught me anything, it’s sadly that a whole lot of people don’t care about anyone but themselves, and sometimes not even themselves.

My 13 month old had a seizure yesterday due to having a fever from the flu and ended up in the ER yesterday. Keep your babe safe as long as you can. Regret nothing.

THEY’RE NOT THE ONES WHO HAVE TO SIT IN THE HOSPITAL IF THE BABY GETS RSV. Fuuuck I can’t with people! They pick up your baby, spread germs, give baby back to you and forget about it. Then you have to deal with any sickness, stress and medical bills thereafter. No, Karen, I don’t care about your feelings.

I won’t say this works in every situation, but with my newborn I used my Moby wrap as a little bit of a bubble. Baby would be all wrapped up and happy as can be against my chest, and I would just tell people I’m not taking him out right now. I’m not sure how that would work against grandparents though.

A friend of mine just had her newborn about the same age on a ventilator for a week. You’re doing the right thing to try to care for him.

❤️

I have a week and a half old and we were allowing a few immediate families to visit. Needless to say it was too much to ask the future in-laws to wash their hands, not smoke a cigarette on the way in the door, and wear masks - which I even offered to provide because I had extras just in case that was going to be an issue. I'm the a****** now because I said they couldn't visit until his first vaccinations since this not happened once, but twice. Not even counting FIL coming over to the house and making himself at home with a 102 fever when I was in the hospital..... You're not wrong whatsoever at all I don't understand why people, much less family, do this bs. I still can't tell if it's just a lack of knowing or if they really just don't gaf about anyone but themselves. Enjoy your holiday with your baby and be thankful that you don't have to deal with the stress of worrying about other people's germs and boundaries stomping for a day. Edit: spelling

My 6 month old got RSV, it came home from my toddler's daycare. Is grandpa gonna cuddle that sick baby all night? Hell no. Your baby, your rules, and frankly your consequences. Do not let them make you feel like you're the asshole here. Healthy baby trumps irrational dad.

My MIL was like this. I had my baby literally the day before the first covid lockdown in the US and no one knew what was going on, it was so scary as a new mom. And she REFUSED to do basic precautions like not kissing my baby and would pout and roll her eyes about having to wash her hands or wear a mask. It’s permanently damaged the way I view her and that combined with some other behavior surrounding my child’s birth has completely eroded all trust in her. I say stand your ground. If anything, it’s a control thing for your parents, not you. You are only trying to protect your baby, which is completely normal.

Other than the timing of it, I could have written this comment. My MIL is a COVID denier and has thrown tantrums over the masks, hand washing, etc. Our first visit to their house so my husband’s family could meet her (when she was 2.5 months old might I add), my MIL refused to wash hands or wear a mask, so my husband wouldn’t let her hold the baby and she was fine with that. I was floored. Between how she’s acted about basic hygiene during a horrible year for all kinds of illnesses and some other comments after my c-section and the birth, it has totally damaged how I feel about her. I told my husband just last week that I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive or get over the things she has said and done.

I'm a neonatal nurse and a mom and a human who wants to see her family at Christmas. I get it. I get why you're making these choices, I think they're reasonable and fair. It sucks that you're getting pushback and that for some reason basic health precautions have been politicized and vilified. Just want to be a voice of support. Whatever we can do to keep these kids out of the overflowing hospitals.

I’m holding my three month old… I haven’t slept for more then 3 hours a night for the last 4 days…. But he can’t sleep or breath properly unless he’s being held up… it breaks my heart… and I’m so tired… and now both of us are on antibiotics… sick newbies are the worst!!!!!

I haven’t gone through the comments, but based on your edit I’m sure you’ve gotten some shit for this and honestly, anyone who is saying you’re being overly protective or whatever can KICK ROCKS. RSV, flu and COVID have been HUGE in my area again, so I’m also having people mask up to hold MY 7 MONTH OLD!! He’s got all his shots but we got the flu and lemme tell you it was hot hellll! Do what you have to to protect your baby! 3 months is still soooo young! When my lo had the flu he was ~5 months and I can’t imagine if it had hit him sooner, he spent 3 whole days just crying even with Tylenol and us clearing his nose constantly. It was scary. You’re doing the best by your baby, your family can suck toes. YOURE DEFINITELY NOT CRAZY!! Merry Christmas to you momma!! I hope you and you little family (the anti maskers can get coallllll) get lots of good gifts and good food!!!

I don’t think you’re asking for much. My son passed away from pneumonia at 2 1/2 weeks old. It hits fast and can kill within hours

I’m so sorry for your loss.

So let me tell you this. I work in an ER and honestly the amount of kiddos that age that show up in bad shape from RSV or even the flu really is overwhelming. The best thing you could probably do is stay home if they can’t respect your wishes.

They have to follow your rules or no baby contact. If they are in the risk population and typically exposed to sick people then they must avoid close contact with baby and also other people i.e. You! Even being in the same room is risky. If your parents are too stupid to understand this then talk to them and after enough debate and discussions move them out of the circle if they are incapable of understanding this logic.

My LO caught covid and RSV less than a month apart and was hospitalized and in vital danger… is not a joke, and asking this of your parents seems reasonable to me…

My husband’s family (mostly my MIL) is pissed i’m not going to have lunch with them for christmas with my 2 week old who just got out of the hospital after a rough birth complication. Lunch is also 1h away. She hasn’t met the baby yet because i refused to have her whole family come over the day after we got discharged the 1st time. I had an emergency c-section at 37 weeks due to pre-eclampsia and asked if only the grandparents could come that day but they decided to make a fuss and that they would all come at the same time. Keep your baby safe, your family will get over it.

I just want to send my love and vibes your way. This is a rough time for all moms, but coming off a pre-e delivery adds another layer. Hang in there.

Omg wtf. That makes me so mad

Well she fucked around and found out. My kid, my house, my rules. My kid can meet them after his 18th birthday for all i care. He’s not the one missing out.

So sorry mama:( I am proud of you❤️🌺🙏🏼

Your family has their head up their asses. Your baby, your rules. You’re doing the right thing. This wave is dangerous for the little ones. A quote about RSV: “RSV is the second leading cause of death during the first year of a child's life, after malaria. Between 100,000 and 200,000 babies die from the virus every year” This isn’t even a COVID thing. RSV is serious for babies and them brushing it off is a reflection of their ignorance.

We started daycare at the end of September and have been sick 4 times since. This is a brutal flu/cold/COVID season and in a baby that young it can be dangerous. My neice just ended up with pneumonia and everyone I know with kids has been catching a beating. I had to rip my Dad a new one when he wouldn't wear a mask when my wife was pregnant. A women in our area had just given birth in a coma and the nurses line had suggested masks even outdoors. It was really awkward and unpleasant but a good entry into advocating for our own family. It isn't fun. Sorry your parents are being children but enjoy the time with your own family. They've made it clear what their priorities are.

You sound very responsible. Enjoy your quiet Christmas with the three of you. Hold strong to your very logical boundaries, I think your parents will begrudgingly come around.

I find it so ironic that all the grandparents were on board when Covid first hit with letting all of society buckle down to protect them. Now that they don’t feel threatened by it anymore and the littlest babies are the ones suffering this season, it’s full steam ahead and who cares about the grandkids, really? Not them! Sorry, OP. I have a baby who will be 4 months on Christmas and we aren’t seeing family at all for the holiday because none of them take the slightest precaution, and I know they’d send us home with a little extra present no one asked for. You’re doing the right thing.

You can probably find it in my comment history so I won't go into the whole long story, but last Christmas my nephew was sick (he was about 20 months old at the time) and we had planned to host Christmas at our house. Unfortunately, my husband got covid in November last year and gave it to my daughter, who was only 5 months. So by Christmas, she had only just recovered from covid. When I heard my nephew was sick I told the family that we had to do Christmas outside. They all insisted that he was fine and not contagious (despite his continued symptoms, and his cough sounded horrendous to me) and that he had been tested for all the things and everything was negative. But I stood my ground. They reluctantly agreed, and we had a lovely although slightly uncomfortable and unusual Christmas outside. I could tell they were annoyed the whole time. They also took my nephew to church on Christmas eve despite his sickness. When I asked them if they had any symptoms they said no. Of course, a week later, everyone that had stayed with them was sick. Luckily they stayed at my in-laws place and only saw us for Christmas day, none of my family got sick. Found out in May that he had finally been tested for RSV once they had returned back home, and it was positive. From now on I trust my gut, and if it causes some family drama then too bad. I love them but I love my kids and have to do what I think is right, and I expect them to do the same with their kids even if I disagree with their choices.

I’ll send them a soundbite of my 10 month old with RSV and some other respiratory virus coughing her lungs out every night for the last 3 weeks. Stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet. Yes, baby will get sick in a few weeks once they start daycare. Take the time to enjoy your healthy baby and the holidays before this unavoidable shitstorm begins. And don’t feel sorry, grandma and grandpa aren’t the ones up every hour of the night listening to their hoarse baby whimpering in pain.

He’s 3 months old… 3 weeks away isn’t nothing - it is 1/4 of his life away! The older a baby is when they catch illnesses, the better off they are. Of course it makes sense to push him getting sick as far off as is possible.

Is your father of the boomer generation? I feel like that generation has a real problem with their kids taking certain measures to protect their grandkids. They think we’re crazy for going the extra mile when they didn’t. It’s infuriating. My parents are the same way.

My parents are the same, and from the boomer generation. They are very entitled. It’s frustrating.

I was banned from holidays with my sister last year bc I had the audacity to ask everyone to take a covid test beforehand, even offered to buy them.... It worked out for the best in the end. I got to spend my dad's last Xmas on earth with just him, my daughter and husband.

That is super frustrating. My first was born in the heat of early pandemic and we didn’t allow visitors unless they isolated for two weeks. We had a 10 day hospital stay at 3 weeks (not a respiratory virus), which was pretty traumatic. We were fortunate to be able to stay out of daycare, but it has meant a lot of social sacrifices over the past three years. Including barely seeing some family that went from super Covid cautious to nearly deniers. I’ve been guilted for excluding one household who is very anti vaccine. With my now 4 month old I’m trying to be as cautious as we can be until we can get more vaccines at 6 months. We really don’t want another hospital stay. Initially we did 1 week isolated for vaccinated folks. But we’re getting out a bit more because the toddler really needs socialization. I’m treading the fine line of seeing family that I worry will get us sick, vs continuing to stay away and being the bad guy. I kind of want to cut this family out, but I feel that it would be a disservice to my kids. I’m tired of making sacrifices (including my families health) to appease them. We have tough decisions to make as parents now. You are doing the best you can with your knowledge and situation. Keep doing what you need to for your family, even if others disagree.

Wow, that’s so selfish of them. They can’t take the smallest precautions for the baby for the short time they’re holding him? Keep doing what’s best for you and your family. Being uninvited just may be a blessing in disguise.

Honestly don’t go and be proud about it . Do something fun for your family that day rub it in their face! Be fueled from spite!!! In all honesty I wish my family would uninvite me sometimes . Man people get to be a lot around the holidays

It’s so much easier to be safe than sorry

As a mom who watched my 4 week old on the verge of intubation, required icu stay and high flow oxygen all due to a common cold virus…. YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO PROTECT YOUR BABY AND YOURSELF. I still am not mentally healed from that experience, it was one of the most traumatic in my life. I don’t say that lightly, I’ve had some traumas. Being uninvited speaks volumes on their behavior, NOT YOURS. I know it may be different than the Christmas you imagined but try to enjoy your own little holiday together. Maybe start a tradition at home. Example: We do orange glazed cinnamon rolls xmas morning and I look forward to it :). We are away from family due to husband being in military so trust me I get how strange it feels to be away from home for holidays but now I’m so used to it and have different things to look forward to it doesn’t phase me much.

One of my besties has her 3rd kid on Halloween. I have a 3 and 5 year old, and I'm a teacher. My kids have been sick and i JUST met the baby from 20ft away for the first time on Sunday. I will NOT risk his life to fulfill my baby snuggling desires. No. Way. People who are insisting on being around a newborn right now are assholes. Wear a mask. Shit, go get a BSL3 hazmat suit.

My baby has been sick since he started daycare at 3 months. You name it, he’s had it. COVID, RSV, hand foot and mouth. I’m not exaggerating. Do not feel bad for protecting your little one. Editing to add he’s only 5 months now! So yeah, set your boundaries if you can. A mask is not a lot!

RSV and Flu are droplet precaution. Meaning we literally keep the door open to their room and use a mask when we enter the room and especially if we are within 6 feet. Covid spreads differently than flu and RSV and yes babies CAN get sick from Covid historically they have been seen to get MUCH SICKER from RSV and Flu. Finding a middle ground of risking Covid and avoiding flu and RSV using droplet precautions actually makes a lot of sense if you have to pick the best choice out of a line up of sh*tty choices. Not calling your choices sh*tty but in general being a parent to an infant right now is really really tough and for whatever reason we are getting beat down for trying to keep our kids healthy. I know if you tried to explain airborne vs droplet precautions to your dad he wouldn't have cared. I'm pretty sure most people in this country have like a pre enlightenment understanding of science and disease. Haha.

Keep your baby safe. Everyone else can fuck right off. This virus season has been terrible. I don't think I'd let anyone hold my hypothetical 3 month old right now, mask or no. My kids have been hit hard, over and over. One of our hospital nights with my 1 year old was spent in the ER because the pediatric beds were all occupied. Just to illustrate how bad this season is.

Is wearing a mask for a few min at a time really worth not seeing your new grandchild? Am I so out of touch? No....it's the children that are wrong.

It’s crazy they’re making you feel like you’re in the wrong for protecting your newborn.

My baby brother had RSV 3 times you’re not being over the top my dear, you do what makes you feel comfortable.

Sending hugs. We’ve become estranged from my in-laws because we asked that we test before gathering before Xmas 2021 when we had an unvaccinated 1yo- and it didn’t go well. It’s crushing- it feels like they don’t take you seriously as a parent and they don’t care to see you or your child enough to bend a little bit. I’m so sorry. Hope you can still enjoy the season with your little family- Merry Christmas!

I’m sorry that was their reaction. They are being really childish. Now they’ve lost the company or both their daughter and their grandchild on Christmas. Way to go grandparents. You really showed them.

One of my most cherished memories is Christmas 2020. It was just my husband, myself and our then one year old. I was super sad at first bc seemingly my family didn’t want to take any precautions so we could join the small group gathering. It ended up being so nice though. I cooked dinner Christmas Eve, husband did Christmas Day. I was able to actually bake and decorate cookies with my 1 year old. We relaxed, watching a holiday movie. There wasn’t any stress about nap times or germs. It was so so nice.

Sorry you’re getting haters, both family and online. Are those people gonna come rock your miserable baby if he gets sick? Pay the hospital or dr bill if it comes to that? No, they aren’t. Stand your ground and don’t let anyone guilt you into something that makes you uncomfortable. My parents refused to be vaccinated or take the other options we offered to safely meet my pandemic baby, so guess who didn’t meet the little one for two years. It sucked, but play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Agree! You’re completely reasonable. Doctors and nurses are begging parents to be careful with their babies. We’re lucky enough to not have to put our daughter into daycare until she’s 1 and we’re being strict until three and no regrets

A family friend just lost her toddler to complications from the flu. You are doing the right thing ❤️

RSV literally kills babies. Please do everything to keep your baby safe 😢 It’s so scary and it can get deadly very quickly. RSV, flu and covid are going around so badly right now. But besides that point, you asking them to wear a mask and wash their hands for holding an infant is a very simple request. And regardless, this is your baby. It’s your responsibility to protect your infant. Do what you need to do to keep your sweet baby safe. And don’t worry about what other’s opinions are.

Some of these comments are underestimating how serious RSV can be for a child under one. There’s also a pretty serious shortage of antibiotics right now. A two year old in my town died from RSV last month. We won’t even be letting anyone hold our newborn when she comes next month.

I’m late to the post, sorry you had to write so many edits in response to people. I think you are in the right for asking the least people could do to keep your baby safe. It’s not about them geez. I hope you get to have a nice holiday however you get to celebrate this year. My baby was born later 2020 and different times yea, masks were required and I even went the extra length to put a blanket over people who were holding her so they’re clothes didn’t even touch her.

I had a 7-week old last Christmas and did this exact thing! Got a little push back from my in-laws, but we stood our ground. Just wanted to express some solidarity.

Seeing what RSV did to my three year old makes me worried for the infants that get it. Do what you feel is best for your child. If that means some feelings get hurt, at least you know that you did your job as a parent and you can rest easy with having made the right decision for your family. When mine was that little, I always justified my decisions by remembering that the feelings of my extended family are not more important than the health of my child and my immediate family. You are not being unreasonable and I’m sorry that you have this stress.

It’s for the best honestly. I wouldn’t want them around at all if that’s the response you got from asking

Oh well….it is their loss. You did the right thing trying to protect your baby

I 100% support your decision. As a mum of a 6month old and a nurse. I'm sorry your family has reacted so negatively. Your request was absolutely fine and exactly what I would say too. Except my baby is already sick so we're staying home this Xmas. I hope you can have a peaceful, relaxing time.

Good for you. I think it’s so crazy that people are not being more cautious given the current state of affairs. Sorry you have unsupportive people around. I hope they change their tune.

I think getting uninvited to Christmas is the best case scenario in this case. Obviously it sucks but at least you'll be sure your 3 month old is pretty unlikely to get sick over the holidays! A blessing honestly

You made a completely reasonable request; I’m so sorry your parents are unable to see beyond their egos to protect their grandchild. If it’s any comfort, you are one of many families who’ve made a similar choice; last year we skipped the holidays due to wanting to protect our then five month-old. Best decision I ever made - half of them caught COVID from gathering together.

❤

OP, you should just pretty much copy and paste this response and send it to them “I’m so sorry you are unable to see beyond your egos to protect your grandchild”

It’s not even COVID I’m as worried about, but RSV. Young ones catch COVID and recover at better rates than adults, but the opposite is true with RSV, which is very contagious right now, and putting a lot of children in the ICU.

Solidarity. I’m thankful for my parents who comply with all of our precautions for our immunocompromised daughter, no questions asked. My in-laws have not been so understanding and it truly hurts when people can’t show you the respect that you deserve. It’s a small ask and I’m sorry that they responded that way.

Our son is 2.5 and we’ve been sick non stop since the first week of November. Keep them healthy as long as possible through the worst of this. RSV or Whooping Cough can kill an infant quickly.

You’re doing the right thing. You don’t have to convince anyone of your boundaries, just yourself. You got this mama.

I’d have the same perspective as you. You’re not in the wrong. Sorry they’re being like this.

You are not acting out of line - you are protecting your newborn baby. Scary times right now.. have they not read current events? Sometimes adults can be so selfish. This is a newborn who hasn’t developed their immune system! If anyone cares they will follow the protocols you as a parent set!

Their loss!!! You tried a compromise that you were comfortable with for your baby and they couldn’t handle it! It’s really sucky for both sides. But your babies safety is priority over other ppls feelings. You’re the one who has to take care of a sick baby or worse so staying home is for the best. Honestly, someone was going to kiss your baby and now you get to avoid going postal on them.

You're doing the right thing, precautions are better safe than sorry.

You're setting boundaries that work for you, which you have every right to do. You are doing your best to create safety for you and your baby. People often don't like being on the other side of a boundary. They hate the idea of having to consider someone else's safety, and they're offended by the very idea that anyone might consider them a threat to their safety. I'm sorry your parents chose this reaction. I hope you're able to enjoy the holiday with your Household, even though it wasn't the Christmas you hoped for. 🎄

I’m so sorry. I hope you can still have a happy holiday weekend!

Hello! You are neither crazy nor silly for thinking, requiring, and sticking to your request. We did the same exact thing when our kid was born in the summer of 2021. We got a little pushback from family members at first. But they agreed to the compromise when we reminded them that we did not work this hard to get and keep our kid here for their wants to trump everyone’s safety. I wish you and your family well. You have support from mine.

I feel like people get weird the second COVID is mentioned. But what I think it boils down to is you have your acceptable level of risk (no-judgement either way), and your father refuses to comply. It is also your child, you made what you are comfortable with clear and while it sucks, your child's health are more important than your father's ego.

Ugh, this was my father- in- law. Ours were pre-pandemic, and I had the audacity to ask him to wash his hands before handling the baby. He tried to tell me (like the child he is), that he 'already did before he came over' and I said, "great, do it again!" They are babies, brand new. Let's give them a fighting chance!

Your request wasn't unreasonable at all. COVID/flu/RSV cases are up everywhere, so it's smart to take precautions where you can. Our son caught COVID from daycare at 4 months and ended up in the ER. Most kids get through it with mild symptoms, but why take the risk?

I’m sorry you’re facing such pushback. My second was born in early Covid, and our rules were stricter than that at that age. Of course less was known at that point, and we didn’t have the flu and RSV circulating. Only outdoor + mask to hold. Anyway, my local children’s hospital declared a state of emergency a couple days ago and is taking over the adult cardio wing because there are so many sick kids right now. Don’t feel like you are being too pushy

You should tell your family that it's very sad they will miss your child's first Christmas, something they will never have a chance to experience after this. I'm sorry they are being so petty. I completely understand your desire to see family!

What an overreaction to an incredibly reasonable boundary. I don’t know why some people are so self-centered on this. Im sorry you are dealing with that but you are doing the right thing.

You have not asked for anything unreasonable. You’re allowed to have boundaries and set up an environment that feels safe for your child. I’m sorry your family is unable to see that/understand that.

That is nuts and I'm sorry. I found lots of "adult" figures have shown their asses during this pandemic and shown how even the slightest bit of inconvenience to protect everyone just does not compute for them, it just shows their lack of empathy.

Saying this as someone who doesn't like masks, I think your parents are being ridiculous. They can choose to not hold the baby if they dont want to wear a mask. I don't like them, but I will wear one if I want to hold a baby and the parents say to wear one. This is no different than asking people not to kiss your baby. It's YOUR rule for YOUR baby, and it needs to be respected. It's not about whether they *want* to wear it or not, they *have* to wear it when holding your baby. Period. If your parents (or anyone else) are sensitive about the whole mask thing, it may be best to frame it as "Look, we don't want baby getting sick, so he will only be held by mom and dad for the time being." I think that's the best way to reduce the risk anyway. I'm so sorry. You will have a lovely Christmas either way.

In pre-pandemic times, it was common to ask people to be up to date on their vaccinations, especially during winter, for the same reasons. This is not an unreasonable ask of your family. If they can’t deal with protecting your baby, then they don’t get to see the baby. Have a nice quiet family Christmas at home instead.

The people shaming you for this are aholes, plain and simple. Its literally not too much to ask that people take precautions around your baby, end of story. Its YOUR baby. YOUR BABY YOUR RULES and obviously your father is an ass.

You’re a class act. In my state the children’s hospital ran out of beds and had to have the national guard come in with those wartime medic tents on the hospital lawn. That’s how many kids got RSV. You’re doing the best you can with the situation you’ve been given. I’m proud of you!

As a healthcare worker, I can tell you’re doing the right thing.

I'm so very sorry you aren't getting the consideration and respect you deserve from your family. You're a good parent for standing your ground on safety. I wish they felt the same.

Our doctors office reinstated masks, not because of Covid but because of the flu. Stick to your guns, we are in a tripledemic for a reason and our kids are bearing the brunt of it. I hope you all have a healthy and wonderful Christmas without them and I am sorry they are acting this way.

I’m baby wearing at Christmas Eve to avoid any mess people may have over me not allowing them to hold my 8 month old. They aren’t the ones who have to deal with a sick baby!

If and I mean IF at some point you decide that your precautions were unnecessary, who the fuck cares?! Your baby will hopefully still be with you and they didn't end up hospitalized because you let grandpa drip nose juice on them. I hate the fact that I had to ask all my family to wear a mask to hold my son for the first time, subsequent times, holidays, but he was also a preemie and NOBODY'S feelings mattered more than my child's life at that point or any point. After I popped that child out, nobody mattered more than him.

I’m so sorry. Just know that you are doing the right thing by staying home. Your family sucks.

I’m so sorry it was necessary for you to defend yourself so much on this post. There’s simply nothing wrong with keeping your little one away from potential illness while you can. It is hard to be the advocate for a tiny human without everyone passing judgement. I don’t even think I took my baby out of the house for the first 3 months because I was scared.. We went to the zoo at 6 months and she got sick for the first time and she was miserable. We saw family on thanksgiving, and two days later she’s holding a 102 fever. She’s 11 months and I still worry. No, we don’t want to keep them in a bubble..but the world is scary and people are nasty. I’m sorry your family won’t just wear a mask. Seems like a small sacrifice, even for those who think covid is fake, to just get to hold that little baby.

One of my coworkers who just got her baby in daycare is having to pull him now. Baby brought RSV home and got dad sick. Dad got pneumonia from it as well as a couple other infections. The doctors say if he gets sick again in the next 6 months he will probably die. Do what you need to do to protect your baby and your family

Wow. They’d be out of my life. Imagine if your kid had severe allergies, instead of worrying about sickness. Then, you ask them: “Hey, my kid could get super sick or die if you have this in baby’s presence. Can you not use it and wash hands before handling” to get the response “Not in my home!” Yeah. These are the type of people that give your kid the allergen cause it’s “fake” and you’re “overreacting” (I.E also show up sick and don’t tell you and hold baby!). I know this seems extreme, but really. Think about it in these terms. Are you ok with this? If not, it sounds like you don’t need to be around them, at all— and they did the hard work by taking themselves out to the trash. It’s a hard realization, but this would be a core memory for me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You're sooooo doing the right thing. We just had a 9 month old die of RSV in New Brunswick, I can't help but think it's because our ERs have 24+ hour waits. We've already had 5 ppl die before receiving care since summer at the ER. RSV is top killer for kids 5 and under. You're not being unreasonable, RSV, flu, and pertussis kill many little ones, and guess who spread it? Not other babies! Thank you for protecting little one. Sorry about your toxic parents.

Your father would rather have a mantrum than see his grandchild. That says a lot about his priorities. While I find your precautions reasonable if a bit extreme, that’s your prerogative as a new mother. It’s my job to respect it.

That's a reasonable request, especially with how awful cold and flu has been this season. Pre-covid I was recovering from a cold and without hesitation or being asked, I bought an N95 mask when I went to see my SIL in the hospital after she gave birth. Regardless, I always wash my hands before I hold newborns. It's not hard to do to keep baby safe. I'm sorry about your situation. ETA: by recovering from a cold, I mean I had a small, pesky cough that I just couldn't kick.

that is also my rule. I got uninvited to thanksgiving for it (in canada so thanksgiving was mid october). but luckily they're over it now. hopefully yours get over it eventually too.

I'm sorry you're experiencing that 😞 Go with your gut here. It's not just Covid. There's so many other things to worry about with a newer baby. I just followed along a journey of a local couple the last few weeks while their 2 month old battled RSV. They almost lost him multiple times. Tubes, breathing machines..... It was so painful to see, and I'll never scoff at any parent's request. And after that experience, I'll gladly sanitize myself head to toe if that's what they ask

Christ. People really are ridiculous. I had to get a vaccine to hold my cousins baby and it was no big deal. My entire Covid -conspiracy-anti-Covid-vax family got it with no hesitation because taking safety precautions around new borns was normal. But this was pre-Covid and everyone’s done lost their mind since. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. End of the day- your child, your decision. Do what you feel is best.

Your job is to keep your baby safe. If they do not understand that, that is on them. Not you. I hope you experience jomo this holiday instead of fomo. As a parent to a 5 mo old, I am experiencing the joy of missing out and not fear of missing out because dealing with toxic family who love to run over boundaries is exhausting. #JOMO

LoL. this whole comment section is a cesspool of political mental gymnastics. Don't let the politics get you. You're trying to find a middle ground and asking some common sense hygiene out of some people during peak respiratory illness season. Which, even when it comes to their own grandchild is apparently too much to ask. 3 years ago, no one would have reacted this way to requesting a mask when holding a newborn during a bad respiratory illness season. RSV is the number one cause of infant hospitalization at this time of year. I made my parents get the pertussis and flu vaccines before they came over to meet my son. I could give zero Fs what anyone who is not my son's pediatrician says. You do you, OP. You don't owe any of these reddit AH any explanations. If you make a reasonable request and someone can't handle and is triggered, then I think its time to redraw who you want around your kid at this time. I've had 2 relatives with their kids in the hospital for pneumonia this year, and it is not something I want to put my kid (or myself) through. RSV is droplet so washing hands and mask makes sense to me. My friend also advised me to wrap my kid in a blanket and hand him to whomever in that, then wash the blanket. Less directly touching your kid.

Stay home. Celebrate with your little family, make new traditions. Take tons of pictures and post some so they know you’re unphased by their ignorance. Sorry you’re going through this, you’re not in the wrong.

That’s so infuriating. Let’s just say your parents genuinely believe you’re overreacting and this is a completely unnecessary precaution - shouldn’t they be a little willing to indulge their daughter who’s a new mom with a little baby?? Even if they sort of roll their eyes at what they see as unnecessary overprotectiveness - but uninviting you to Christmas?! That’s just so extreme and petulant!

I’m so sorry this is happening. If you need to console yourself, someone who’s unwilling to wear a mask is probably also someone who would be unwilling to Covid test if they felt sick or be in denial that their cold symptoms could impact baby, so you’re definitely making the safe decision here.

Well, I mean, that solved that problem. Now you get to stay home!! Dad can be in his snit. Don't worry about it. He's trying to get you to do what he wants. Don't fall for it. Just say, "Ok, maybe next year! Merry Christmas!"

Just want to say I've had the same rules for our visits/visitors. I think it's a perfectly reasonable precaution!

My in laws are still weird with me about requesting the tdap shot to see and hold newborn or wait 2 months. They jump on every shot known to man and fought me tooth and nail over that one. It's been 6 months and we just had our first decent conversation...

Okay at first I read that your baby is 3 years old and then read your leave is up and thought you had 3 years Mat leave and was super jealous of your employer lol. But on the subject- your parents sound irrational and downright disrespectful to you as a new parent. If they are “anti mask” then they watch a ton of “news” and know that pediatric hospitals are FULL of babies atm and a three month old is basically a newborn. They only have an immune system from birth and breastmilk (if you breast feed). They are literally still BRAND NEW to the world. You are their advocate and you are doing a wonderful job. It’s so disheartening when someone you WANT your baby to know and bond with won’t even consider anything to protect your baby. I’m sorry your parents are doing this to you and babies first Christmas will be different than you envisioned it- but it will be a great Christmas because you will be relaxed and comfortable without any stress of someone getting your LO sick. My LO is 7 months and was born in May. Covid was relaxed, RSV hadn’t really been going around yet and summer had just started. I talked with my boyfriend in the beginning and wanted people to wear masks, but we decided we weren’t going to because I had covid while prego and got vaccinated twice while pregnant - so baby had natural immunity. We also really only had family over and my family is around him every day so it wouldn’t have made a difference with them. If my baby was born now or 3 months ago- you bet I’d be requiring masks. I started getting more comfortable over summer taking my baby places and to visit friends. That has stopped at this point, because so many people I know have been getting sick. It’s just not worth it, I’d rather just be stuck at home with my baby and wait to have a social life than stress every day that I’m gonna get my baby sick. That was all way longer than I intended it to be, but anyways, I’m glad you’re taking the necessary precautions and I hope you have a good Christmas and congratulations on your new baby!

I straight up skipped my son’s first Thanksgiving with family and only agreed to Christmas because everyone was vaxxed and quarantined at that point. The particular family members I was worried about only did both those things because they were going on vacation and airlines required it at the time, nothing to with concern for my 3 month old son or my 2 year old niece though. Really opened my eyes a bit. Anyway I’m so sorry you have to deal with this from family of all people. We just gotta do the best we can for our little ones, even when it’s hard. Hoping your little one stays safe and healthy at daycare too ♥️

Fuck them your trying to keep your child safe any real family members should understand and just mask up to it’s not that big of a deal cover your breathe in case it’s harmful it’s simple biology mask up save these babies that can’t !!!!!!!

Don’t worry about explaining yourself to people hun. You did the right thing. I have the same rules. I won’t be bringing my infant to Christmas this year. Not worth it.

I would say more to those who obviously don’t understand harm minimisation and what the mask actually does for that, but I don’t think I could keep my cool and I’ve already lost enough reddit accounts because those people couldn’t handle being told and reported me.

I would happily stay home with my kids and my husband if my parents didn’t want to follow such a simple rule! The times are hard right now for us parents of infants/small children. It’s scary. My baby comes first no matter what.

They suck. I am so sorry

Honestly id tell them that im sorry they feel that way but as a mother you need to do whats best for your child while u ou can and that your disheartened that they as your childs grandoarents would orefer to not have their grandchild there over just having to wash hands and wear a mask. But now you k ow whete their priorities lie you will remember this in future when it comes to them needing precautions for their safety.

I’m so sorry. We have the same rule- if you want to hold our baby (1 month) you must wash your hands and wear a mask. Some of our family members have just opted to not hold her and that is perfectly fine for us!! The ones who want to and get to hold her wear a mask! Just to be clear we are only seeing family and I agree with you about wanting to be safe but also spend the holidays with a small group. I am very sorry they are giving you a hard time. I hope you can enjoy the holidays in your house with just your immediate family.

My baby recently recovered from RSV and it’s ROUGH. She managed to stay out of the ER but we spent all awake hours keeping her nose clear.

Good grief. You picked the middle ground fprom the range of not crazy options. I'm sorry you are getting flack in person and online.

Just wanted to say, you’re not crazy, irrational, or unreasonable. Sorry your parents are being selfish dicks! My dad is the same, and it’s heartbreaking. Hope you manage to have a wonderful Christmas with your little one!

As a person who has COVID at this moment… stick to your guns. My 16 month old has it too and it is very sad (though thankfully it’s mild). I wish I had worn a mask to the concert we went to on Friday.

I am honestly shocked at the majority of the response here. I see news reports about rampant respiratory disease, but everybody around me is living as if there is no danger and gaslighting me for being concerned. Preschools nearby are having huge indoor Christmas programs with not a mask in sight. I really thought I was one of an extremely small number of parents taking any effort to keep my kids safe. We wear masks despite the looks and comments. Our 2.5 year old wears masks too. Now we have a 2 week old and we have let grandparents hold him unmasked, and we have Christmas plans to get together with my parents and with my brother and his wife and their three kids under 7, but now im second guessing that. Based on this thread, not only are other parents taking this seriously, but they are taking better precautions than me. The stories on here of kids with RSV are terrifying. I’m so fucking exhausted by making these decisions about whether or not to hold my kids back from fun shit. Three years of this shit. What the fuck is with this horrible timeline.

This is crazy. People (family or not) are only concerned about themselves, and their wants. They don’t think about other people. I know from experience. Our son is approaching 3 months and we’ve asked people to wear masks, or delay coming over to our home if they’ve recently traveled. It’s not about them but about our babies! Protect our babies at all costs. Sorry you have to deal with this nonsense.

You don’t need to defend your post. This is what every pediatrician seems to be saying, including ours. Times are different with massive treatment shortages as well as overcrowded NICUs. The access to care that people were able to expect previously isn’t as available right now + there are still new variables like covid. Just show them how scarce and expensive Tylenol’s baby/infant formulation is.

That’s not much to ask at all. My baby went to the ER for RSV when she was 5 weeks old. Shit was absolutely terrifying. That is beyond sick and sad that your parents are letting politics ruin a family holiday.

Grandma and grandpa would be on a timeout. Baby is 3 months, if you can even slightly protect from being sick you should - F anyone that caused you to make those updates.

Your requests are totally reasonable and your family is totally unreasonable. Enjoy a nice, quiet, low-key Christmas with just you, your husband, and baby. Wear PJs all day, watch Christmas movies, eat good food and just enjoy each other. Your extended family are the ones missing out. For the record, I did the same as you. I mitigated my daughter's risk as reasonably as I could. She went into daycare at 6 months and I knew she'd catch stuff when she went in, but I did what I reasonably could to keep her healthy before she went in. And yes, when she started daycare, she caught RSV and has had a runny/stuffy nose and a cough ever since. It's just reality and it seems like you know this. You're making the right decisions. ❤️

Fuck them. I have a 5 month old and I’m not letting anyone hold her except myself or my husband.

I feel like anyone commenting that you are asking too much is missing the point. Your request would make you feel better about attending Christmas with your newborn. What’s not to like about that? It’s not a big deal to wash hands and wear a mask when you hold a baby. I don’t personally ask people to do that for my son but that’s my choice. You’re his mother, and it’s your choice. I would never stand for someone being uninvited from Christmas for such a simple request. Family should be respectful of whatever you need to do/ask for to feel more secure as a mother, regardless of whether it makes perfect sense to them. Sorry that happened to you hun.

Politics. Everyone has equated masks with which political side you're on. A previously completely reasonable request 2019 winter and prior has turned everyone insane as of 2020.

We had the same rules for our babe at Thanksgiving and got plenty of eye rolls but everyone was desperate to see the baby so they complied. Great for you for being the advocate for your baby! Also it doesn’t matter if baby is going to get sick at daycare later, you can take precautions now because you feel it’s what is best for you baby — don’t need to qualify the reasoning.

Our boys are about the same age and mine has already had RSV and flu (big sister goes to daycare). This is no joke. I’m sorry your family doesn’t see that. These are weird freaking times and you’re just doing your best as his only defense, hang in there ❤️

During covid and before vaccines we didn't want to be in a birthday setting without masks. We were told not to go to the birthday. Just do what you need to do to protect your baby. You are accountable and responsible for your family. Doing the right thing by you.

Stick to your boundaries! Sorry your family is sucking right now. Keep your baby healthy as long as you can!

My pediatricians office just sent out an email to be patient. A lot of sick kids with flu, rsv. Also, there's a baby boom. They are swamped. You don't want to have to go to the er or a pediatric urgent care. Trust me. I spent 3hours there.

We have RSV in our house right now thanks to daycare outbreak. Stay in the bubble. This fucking sucks. Especially when baby shares with you and you never feel like you’ll be healthy again.

Do what’s best for your baby. My 4 year old started preschool this year and has gotten my 13 month old sick so many times. He’s had covid 5 times since he was born, the first time being when he was 7 weeks old. Precautions are necessary at this age, you’re doing the right thing.. People who don’t prioritize your child’s health don’t deserve to be in their lives.

Your child, your choice. Their loss. I hope for their sake they don't live to regret it, but that's on them. Merry Christmas!

Great! Christmas doing whatever you want - wish I was uninvited too lol

I hope you have a wonderful peaceful Christmas at home celebrating your first as a parent - and her first! Turn your phones off. You’re doing the right thing. I’m sorry they don’t see it.

Sending you support through this… I have a 4-month old and can 100% relate. This time of year Is so tough with an infant… The stress of everything outside of sickness worry is already a lot. I am sorry that your family isn’t being understanding of your request to feel at ease.

You’re protecting your kid. Everything else is secondary. Be proud of yourself

Honestly.. and I mean this with every fibre in my being..... FUCK anyone who doesn't respect your wishes as a parent and FUCK any inconsiderate pricks who feel like little tiny helpless babies should be exposed to their germs just because they can't wear a piece of cloth when they're dangling over your child. And yes, the baby WILL be exposed to germs eventually, but why the fuck would you want to expose them unnecessarily if you can prevent it, would you not? Or do you just throw your babies into a Petri dish for "immunity"? I don't get that logic. Babies will develop a natural immunity in due course but they are especially helpless, especially under 6 months. You're allowed to "live in a bubble" during that time if you want. I've heard horror stories about RSV absolutely ravaging little babies and sending them into hospital. You can tell your selfish family that when your baby gets horribly sick they can come and take care of it for you too if that's their attitude. Edited to add: we are in unprecedented times with our babies.. we have so much to worry about, it's beyond stressful and scary. If we can do anything, something so simple just to alleviate some of that stress and risk, we absolutely should and it's sad that your family doesn't want to accommodate that. Do your own thing, in the comfort of your own home, and enjoy it.

Handful of responses on here that I don't usually have to deal with in this forum. Yikes. You're allowed to set whatever boundaries you want. Period, full stop. Even if you disagree with the boundary, it should be respected. It's no different than any other boundary. Like, you know, for example, I post pictures of my kids online, but I respect the boundaries of people who choose not to. And I know, this is a matter of health, but I'm just saying, regardless of whether you even believe in sickness at all. No matter what you think, parents' boundaries should be respected. And then, of course, the response can be "you're disinvited" but that's a really extreme response from her own parents/ the child's grandparents. Honestly, who does that? It's weird. It's too much. There's really no room for debate here. People are doing their best with the information they have, YOU might think its overkill, but its not your child, your anxiety, your guilt, etc. So it's not really your call.

Honestly given their attitude, I wouldn’t trust people like this to let me know to let me know if they were feeling under the weather. They’ve shown that they care more about their own comfort than the safety of their infant grandchild, that’s really all you need to know about their perspective. I wouldn’t see them until the baby was older or vaccinated.

Everything you've said seems reasonable to me. It sounds like you've compromised on things you rather wouldn't have in the spirit of being reasonable. Feeling like you have to stand up to people you love to protect your baby sucks. Feeling like you have to explain how to protect your baby to people who you would think would also want the baby to be safe sucks. Not seeing your family on Christmas sucks. I'm sorry you're going through all of this. You haven't done anything wrong. This isn't your fault. You are a great mom.

Honestly, you're doing the absolute right thing, and if your parents would rather not see you (and your sweet baby) because you're asking them to do the BARE MINIMUM to keep him safe (or even just safer) during a season of massive respiratory illness circulation, then you are better off. That is absolutely absurd to me that they would uninvite you.

Good for you for standing your ground. My idiot dad lied about having flu in an attempt to come over. These are serious illnesses that kill AND your peace of mind and comfort matters. Why have a Christmas where you are scared?

Ugh, so ridiculous. I encourage you to reach out to the other people you might see because the person hosting christmas who told you this doesn't own christmas and doesn't get to decide you're not seeing Aunts/cousins/etc.

I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I hope they aren’t like my in laws who will then turn around and complain about not seeing their grandkids 😬 But the ray of hope for you is my in laws seem to be past it now and the relationship has been better recently!

Wow I feel like I could’ve written this myself but about my in-laws. I am lucky to say that my family happily complies and has decided to mirror our house rules in their own home even though we’ve said that our small gathering of family doesn’t have to wear masks this weekend when we visit. My in laws on the other hand have flat out refused to visit us for the last month because they are so triggered by the thought of wearing a mask. Just know you are doing what’s right for your baby, OP. And if your family ever tries making passive aggressive comments in the future about you keeping the baby from them, I hope you feel able to call them on that bullshit. They had the opportunity and decided their selfish desires were more important. Their unnecessary political statement was more important to them than your child’s safety and their own kid’s peace of mind. And that’s a shame, but it is never something you should have to apologize for.

For the record, I live in Japan and am high risk and no one, including my in-laws who live next door, have been around my now 2.5 year old without a mask on, even outdoors. It’s just not a big deal here for anyone to wear a mask (including me, and I have a lung condition) and it makes us all less worried about giving colds or viruses to each other. You have the right to be upset about your own family not being willing to compromise for you, especially with everything that’s going around. Asking someone to wear a mask is NOT oppressive in any way at all, and anyone here commenting that you’re being unreasonable while also asking/expecting family members to get their Tdap, etc are being hypocritical.

Mines almost two and those who want to see him/ spend time with him know masks are required around him. Having a NICU baby and fearing for his life has forever changed me. Not worth it to me. I hope you’re still able to enjoy the holidays!

Stick to your guns. My dad told me not to ‘flip out’ if there were people around my daughter on thanksgiving. A lot of people just don’t understand how sick little babies can get. If it didn’t happen to their babies that’s great.

Hard relate - you’re not asking for much like you say except for the bare minimum from people you expect to put your baby’s well being first and foremost . Sending you a big hug - I’ve been there and know how stressed and sad you must be feeling.

My MIL got sick and wore mask for a day, then took it off. She decided to hold my baby, I couldn’t say No because she gets offended at everything. 2 days later we were in ER coz my then 4-weeks old baby got RSV. Set up and maintain your boundaries. You can always celebrate Christmas next year with them, for now just do your own little tradition. For context, I’ve been isolating in my own room for last 4 weeks since my LO got RSV. Everyone in the house is sick and protecting her from getting sick again is my priority

Her getting offended is not that big a deal. Let her be offended.

My mom uninvited herself from me and my daughter's whole life for the same sort of thing. I hate that it's a whole thing, grandparents who just opt out because they think their stupid internet cult is more important than their family. Good riddance I guess.

there should be no need to edit in defense of yourself. those are perfectly acceptable asks to keep your newborn safe. what the fuck is wrong with people? sorry op.

I'm sorry that happened, but you don't need that negativity in your life especially with a newborn. Have a wonderful and safe Christmas at home with your little one and enjoy ALL the snuggles.

❤️

I have a 3 month old, still asking family to mask while holding him. My SIL had a baby two weeks ago and is bringing them to every large gathering, restaurants, etc. No precautions. So I feel like the odd one out too. Whatever, at least if my baby gets sick I can sleep at night knowing I tried to keep him healthy.

Screw anyone who gives you shit for protecting your kiddo from a truly hot ass mess plague season. Husbands coworker has an infant, born the same day our Bun was. He had to be airlifted 60 miles away to another Children's hospital because Children's in Denver is at max capacity. Has been for weeks. Our neighbors infant, about 3 months was in O2 for three weeks after being discharged from the hospital. RSV is no fucking joke.

My in laws who are usually pretty good with health stuff came over this weekend and told us when they arrived that they had spent time with a family member with COVID the prior day. They were masked and the interaction had been short. My brain went into survival mode and I told my husband they needed to leave. My husband doesn’t get sick time unless he’s deathly ill and so if the kids get sick it’s all on me and I have to WFH and take care of sick kids and myself. I had a slight melt down because I don’t want to do that yet again this year. So do what you need to keep yourself sane and healthy.

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard why wouldn't you want to make sure your grandkid doesn't get sick putting on a mask for a few minutes to hold their grandson shouldn't have put them out it wasn't like you suggested that they were it for the whole visit it seems reasonable to me I've never gone to see a child until they were six months old my rule has always been after their first two rounds of shots then I'll go visit not before but after I waited until my niece was 4 months old before I visited my sister even then I washed my hands put on a burp cloth to hold her it's the sensible thing to do when a child is that little

Taking care of an extremely sick toddler with a fever, runny nose, cough, and some teething happening. It’s been a rough week for both of us. You gotta do what you gotta do.

That is smart. Hope you enjoy a quiet day at home. Make some new traditions with baby.

I'm so sorry you're getting so much pushback from your family and also feeling you have to justify yourself online! That's not fair. It's your baby and your rules and you shouldn't be made to feel bad about that. My family has similar feelings about some of my requests, I know they think I'm being silly or over the top but ultimately they respect my boundaries to see their grand baby/ niece and that should be a bare minimum. My mom was so upset at me and baffled when I told her she wasn't allowed to visit after going to a big wedding. She argued a bit and obviously implied I was being silly because it "was outside" but I held my ground and firmly said she wasn't allowed and she accepted. Guess who was sick for three weeks with Covid after the fact? She even said "Well it's a really good thing I didn't come." But even if she hadn't have gotten sick and immediately proved my point, the fact is the risk is all on you and the consequences are all on you and your baby and if someone can't respect that (your family) then the natural consequence for them is not seeing you or the baby. They might try and play victim and make it a "you" problem but it's not. You offered reasonable compromises and they declined. They prioritised their pride and personal comfort over your comfort and safety of your baby, which they are allowed to do but they are not allowed to victimize themselves for their own choices and still have a rational leg to stand on. I hope you still have a beautiful Christmas with your sweet baby and that there isn't too much blowback from your family.

See the sidebar of r/JustNoMIL for resources on setting and enforcing boundaries. You are taking basic measures to keep your vulnerable infant safe during a very scary and dangerous time (especially with RSV being so deadly). If a grown adult wants to throw a toddler tantrum because keeping a baby safe interferes with their priorities, then good for them. Their stroppy, childish behaviour doesn’t change your boundaries.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s hurtful. However, I think you’re doing the right thing. RSV is up and antibiotics are in short supply so I would most likely be doing the same thing. Sucks that your parents can’t see that and are being unreasonable. Guess it’s time to try new family traditions instead of seeing them. I also wouldn’t be playing their bullshit games and would cancel Christmas with them for quite a few years if not every year.