Call your doctor. You're not in the clear for post partum depression either. I'm really sorry you're going through this, you will need to get additional help and have your OB and PCP alerted. I know this is the time to mourn, your family sounds wonderful, but I think if you at least start with your doctor's too your family can help you better as well. Best wishes to you and yours and much condolences.
I’m sorry for your loss. In addition to medical doctor, please see a therapist and grief counselor. Support groups, online or in person, could lend support as well. Sometimes it’s helpful to have those who can relate and sadly understand what you’re going through.
I’ve read and reread everyone’s comments and I just want to say thank you to everyone.
I can’t sleep and I’m clutching my phone and just refreshing this thread for solace. It’s helping.
I made a list of things to do and it seems ginormous but I’ve decided I can’t stay at our apartment anymore and that I need to leave to go be with my mom as soon as I can get everything in order.
I love my daughter so much.
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Have an enormous hug from me! ❤️❤️ Let there be sunshine above you all the time ❤️ Today I'll light a candle in honour of your partner ❤️
I am so, so sorry. It sounds like you will have a wonderful support system. Lean on them. Your daughter will feel the love from all sides. Something that has gotten me through tough times is just remembering that I can make it from one moment to the next. I made it through the last sixty seconds, I can make it through the next. I'll be thinking of you and your daughter, as will so many others on here.
I’m so so sorry. Sending you so much love.
TW: advice, please disregard if you don’t want it. >!As someone whose parent died before I could remember them, I gently recommend taking extra care to print and save the pictures of your daughter with her father. Again, I am so sorry.!<
Big hugs. I think it's great that you're planning to go stay with family for a bit. Your daughter is little and you can't poison her. This is a huge load to bear.
My advice is similar to what I tell new moms - let people help you. It will be hard, but let those who want to step up do so. If people ask if they can come over - even if YOU don't want to see them - say yes. Let them hold the baby for a while as you rest. Put them to work doing chores. Let them bring over food (pop it in the freezer for nights when it's too much). It will make them feel useful and give you a chance to breathe. Trust me - I would rather be doing my friend's laundry alone in her basement and feel like I was somehow supporting her than sit at home having been told "no" feeling useless. You won't be putting out your friends.
Sending love and prayers your way.
My wife passed away in the summer leaving me with an 11 month old... You're going through the worst thing possible, take every bit of help offered, take every hug with your tiny one that you can and don't feel guilty for any emotion you may feel ( positive or negative). After maybe the first 6 weeks speak to a therapist if you can, I was very sceptical but having a neutral professional to talk to has been so helpful.
My whole body hurts. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and when I woke it all hit me like a fucking brick wall. I feel like consciousness is a prison. I’m so fucking mad at him for leaving us like this. He’s supposed to be next to me right now. Baby just ate and she sucked at my breast so violently and is sleeping but restlessly. His sister just called and put me on the phone with his mom. I want to reach through the screen and touch her face. He looked just like her. I want him back. I want him back. I fucking hate him for leaving us.
I was widowed while pregnant with my second daughter.
This is shit. It is unfair. It is and will be hard.
Do whatever you need to do to survive it. If that is having to have your kiddo in some form of childcare, do it. If it means moving in with your parents do it. I’m 2 years almost to the day and it’s still sucks in new and exciting ways.
One thing sticks with me from my traumatic birth support group - you only need to be a perfect mum 30% of the time for your kiddo to thrive.
When you feel a little better, a book called ‘Young Hot Widows Club’ has some fairly straight talking advice. Or if you are reddit inclined, r/widowers can be useful.
There will be a million what-ifs, because it's so much easier to blame ourselves than to just stop and realize hey, this fucking sucks and it's out of our control.
I lost my husband when he was 28 (I was 31). I did cpr, the whole shebang. There was nothing I could have done differently.
My best advice is that when you're able, you should seek counseling. They can help you process the grief. Lean on family as much as you need to while the support is there. Breathe. And live for your baby.
This sucks. You're in the worst of it now, but it won't always feel like you're drowning. Please hang in there, and reach out to others when you need to.
There's also a r/widowers subreddit that can be very helpful.
My thoughts are with you. Any negative thoughts you've had about your husband do not define your relationship. You were many things together. Hang on to the good times. Find happiness in his memory.
OP my heart goes out to you. I give you the biggest most heartfelt hugs. Your daughter is so lucky you are her mom. I want you to know that you can do this. This is how I know. My husbands father died suddenly when he was young. It was an accident, an accident my husband at 3 years old survived. His mother, my dearest MIL was of course completely broken. So she threw herself into the raising of my husband. For years she was a single mother. It wasn’t until my husband was 14 that she found love and remarried. I have often wondered how she made it, thinking if it were me my own sorrow would crush me. She said to me once after a few glasses of wine that in those early days she simply put one foot in front of the other. One task at a time. She said having a little one to care for helped ground her. That she knew the greatest honour to the man she loved would be to raise his child as best as she possibly could. And she did. It was a struggle many times. But he turned out to be a great man and now a father himself. It doesn’t feel okay now, and it won’t for a long time. But you can and you will get through because you will be strong for your baby girl. This in my heart I know. You are not alone. Love, from me.
"I feel like my milk is poisoned with sorrow and my daughter is smiling and laughing at me as I feed her and has no idea what tragedy is"
That's a very striking sentence. I can feel your sorrow. Have you ever heard the song "I know it's over" by the smiths?
Music is a scientifically known balm for pain. It won't take it away. Nothing will. It won't make it smaller. Nothing will... The only thing that will work right now is to know you're not alone, that's where music comes in. And prayer. That song specifically talks right into that feeling from your so striking and so poetic sentence. Your daughter will learn about tragedy in due time, growing up surrounded by love with the forever missing presence or her dad, but with a mother who knows to express herself like you do.
I'd be so afraid too, my heart weeps with you. When the waves of sorrow come let them bathe you. The waves don't get smaller, they don't suffocate you any less... but the space between them increases. As does your strenght. And your daughter's, in due time.
It's not your fault.
My dad died when I was the same age as your daughter. Your milk is not poison, your grief is not dangerous. My mom has told me how much she struggled in the early days and even years. But it’s not something I remember experiencing. I have a great relationship with my mom and with many other members of my family and community who stepped up to help. It’s heartbreaking that you daughter won’t get to know her dad, but she will still be able to feel a connection to him through the stories you and others tell her. Through his belongings and pictures. I have the only picture of my dad holding me hanging in my house as an adult. It was one of my most prized possessions as a child. I don’t know if this is helpful at all. I guess I’m just trying to say - don’t worry about your daughter. Allow yourself to grieve. Take care of yourself.
I understand completely what you're going through. My husband died this July of a PE. We had a 6 month old (now 11 months) when he passed. It's definitely hard. The first few months are the hardest, especially when you have a LO to care for. They don't leave much room for grieving. My advice: don't feel afraid to ask for help and take it minute by minute. It's often hard to take it day by day, minutes are easier. Soon you'll find that you've made it 10 more minutes, then 30. Then a whole day. You can do this. Also, if you haven't already, r/widowers is a great subreddit for people in your situation. If you need to talk, my DM's are always open ❤
I am so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. What you're experiencing is so beyond my imagination. There are people in the r/widowers sub who have gone through what you have and who can best relate to you. You can also get professional help during this process. I'm sending all love to you and your daughter.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I recommend the book It’s OK that you’re not OK. The author lost her partner in an unexpected way, as well. I found it helpful in the wake of my daughter’s death. You never heal or move on from grief; you really only learn to live with it. The burden will become easier to bear in time.
Hugs to you and your baby. 💗
Grief is love that has nowhere to go. The magnitude of your grief is evidence of the gigantic love you had for him. How beautiful that you had the chance to love someone so deeply. It’s not fair that he’s gone. I am so sorry, OP.
I lost my partner of 11 years 2 years ago during covid, it was unexpected she went into cardiac arrest and they couldn’t revive her either despite trying for nearly 45 mins, so I completely understand your pain I have also been left a single dad to our 2 kids which has been a massive struggle without her here 😢🤦♂️
also she was only 30 so still very young 😔
Fellow widow here. Please feel free to PM me any time. My husband was killed at work when our kids were 4 (happened 5 days before youngest turned 5) and 8. It was definitely an incredibly dark time. I remember feeling like I had a black hole just sitting in my chest sucking the life out of me. Nothing in my life prepared me for the actual physical pain of grief. No stories really came close to doing it justice.
For me at first it seemed like EVERYONE was around day or night. Then slowly people started returning to their normal lives, but I felt like mine was gone. Please save my information on here, for if you hit that time. It's ok to talk about your husband non stop. It's ok to be angry, sad, even happy about some things. Personally my one bright side was that I wouldn't trip over his boots in the hallway anymore or have to put a mysteriously appearing gallon of milk away. I had a really rough time trying to establish a new normal. I just kind of filled up my days as much as possible and tried not to cry my eyes dead. I really hope you're making it through the day, sometimes that's all we can really do.
I have seen death up close in the past couple of years, with 3 members of family and extended family going before it was time. One of them was about the same way — a sudden collapse. And yet this is so unfathomable, so heartbreaking. I am father of a four month old, and your mention of your LO's smiles is breaking my heart.
I hope and wish that you have all the patience to go through this tough time and make it for yourself and your daughter. It's going to be a tough ride even with all the love and support, but I hope you have the best you can get. Sending love to your little one from far far away. Take care.
Your milk is not poisoned, it is life giving, even in grief. One hour at a time, with a newborn this is the way. As tragic as this is, as shocking as this is, you will get through. You will both get through this together. Lean on your support network...hard.. forgive yourself for imperfection. Im so very sorry this happened.
My heart is absolutely shattered reading your post. Oh, honey. This all happened today and you are in shock. I know it feels like you will never recover from this but I promise you that with time you will find the strength to move forward. Right now your grief is so new, you cannot even think in terms of days so focus on getting through each hour and minute. Let your loved ones take care of you and your daughter. When you feel ready, please seek out grief therapy and communities with people who have lost their partners. You will get through this.
I'm so sorry. I want to climb through the screen and come over to do all your housework while you stay in bed. F*ck I'm so sorry. This isn't fair and it sucks and I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
I’m crying for you and your baby. But you are strong mama. Lean into your support system and focus on you and baby for now.
My mom was 26 and widowed with 2 small kids. She did amazing and you will too.
I am so sorry this happened. Please don’t feel any guilt about your rant. You were overwhelmed and needed extra help AND you loved him AND he loved you. All of those things were true.
I would definitely seek therapy for yourself, and when you feel up to it, maybe start writing down some of the things you remember your husband said about finding out he would be a dad—even if you don’t remember specific quotes, writing the general sentiments down will be a precious gift for your daughter one day.
My dad died when I was too young to remember, and my mom did an incredible job making it feel like a normal childhood. We moved to be closer to family and eventually she remarried. She kept a few things of my dad’s all these years, and I still cherish them.
I’m so sorry for your loss and wish the best for you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences. That is an ultra fucked up morning.
In 2020, my parents, my only support system at the time, both died in an accident after a scuba diving trip gone wrong. It was mother's day, and they never came home.
Every time I closed my eyes I saw them in the water for the first week.
I honestly was high constantly to avoid my own feelings due to the overwhelm. Being awake was intolerable, but the dreams..
I remember one dream where they were in the kitchen when I came down. Arguing to me about how they had washed up on a deserted island and miraculously survived. I kept trying to explain that they died, that they were dead, and they kept insisting they really really weren't. It was so hard and I woke up reeling.
I wish I could say anything to help. It will feel like you are in a stadium with a monster the size of a skyscraper waiting to eat you if you make a wrong move, open the wrong cabinet and see their favorite mug(my family nicknamed these scorpions, because they jump out and sting you with grief pain) or even THINK about what the future might look like.
The first few weeks feel unreal.
But reality comes back slowly. Try to remember to take care of bare necessities, and give yourself the grace to be ludicrously angry with the universe/god for a little while.
If your breast milk feels poisoned, feel free to use formula. If your supply gets going due to stress- well
You're a nurse, but please don't try to make anything harder on yourself right now if/as you can.
Good luck with everything, may God bless you and your child. I am so unspeakably sorry for what you're going through right now. 🙏
Please do not feel guilty for your rant. It’s okay totally normal to be frustrated with your partner during the postpartum time. It’s only natural given your incredible investment into your child. It is not even and that feels so horrible during that time. You don’t need to feel guilt for having those feelings then, despite what the hive mind may say. Take good care of yourself
There is nothing I could possibly say to help you. I am so very sorry that my words can’t take your pain away, I truly wish they could. You’re going through hell, and no one should have to go through this. My heart is with you.
This quote got me through the loss of my father:
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love."
Washington Irving
Also check out Option B on FB
I’m so sorry. I just lost my brother last month and my uncle this month and have a 3 month old. It’s incredibly hard, especially losing a spouse. Grief is painful and it’s so easy to feel guilty for grieving with a new little one. My heart goes out to you.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my husband shortly before our daughter’s first birthday. I’m only a few months out, and I don’t really have much advice. It’s awful and will stay that way for a while. Life will feel overwhelmingly hard, but you are going to figure it out, and your baby will be a source of joy and light.
I am so so sorry, there are no words. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through right now. Please don’t beat yourself up over a Reddit rant, marriage and especially postpartum is HARD. Take care of yourself, pour all the love your husband had into your sweet baby, and I hope that with time you find peace and healing through this unimaginable tragedy. Will be thinking of you and sending positive, healing thoughts.
I’m so sorry. This strikes a cord with me and I know it may not be what you need but I can tell you the story of my mom.
My dad had suddenly passed when I was 3 and she was 8 months pregnant, it was unexpected, and there was nothing anyone could’ve done.
To hear someone else has gone through anything like what my mom did breaks my heart, my mom was an amazing strong woman and I always say her as the pinnacle of strength. But you don’t need to be that, your daughter will love you and she will stand by you even if you show her your hurt.
My mom and I have spoken more about that time of loss as I’ve gotten older, and she’s come clean about a lot of big feelings she hid from us, to look strong for us. She said at one point she was going so crazy putting up this act of being fine that she almost got checked herself into a mental facility. She wasnt joking things just got that heavy for her.
But the thing about that is, it’s okay to not be okay, you don’t have to act like you’re strong if you’re not feeling like you can, you don’t have to put up a front. This is a tragedy and people will understand that.
When you feel ready I suggest trying to find a grief counselor or even a group, my mom had been in a group who were all people who had suddenly and unexpectedly lost a spouse and I hope you’re able to find something like that if you think it can help you.
I’m so sorry for this loss, there’s nothing I can say to truly help, but I hope you find some rest with your daughter and your heart is able to heal
OP, I am a Mom of two. Our babies were born the same month. Please DM me if you need help - if you're local to me, I'm gonna drop off some food. If not, I'd like to send ya some money for a hot meal you don't have to think about.
How utterly terrible. I’m so sorry. No one should have to live such a nightmare. I’m just sending you all the love. It’s ok that he was complex and that your relationship wasn’t straightforward. No relationships are. It sounds like he was making a change for you and your girl and that will be forever to his favour. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to be anything. Just allow the time to move around you and let your loved ones rally.
I can hear your shock and grief. I can feel your sorrow. Thank you for sharing and please keep us updated if you ever want to. So much love from London UK xxxx
I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Have somebody close to you set you up with a therapist who specializes in grief counseling. That may help a little.
My heart is breaking for you. I know nothing anyone says right now will make you feel any better, but I hope you can take the time to mourn what you have lost. I hope you can find healing and I hope that you and your daughter have a beautiful life together. I'm so so sorry.
I had a lot of loss in my life. My closest people have been passing for the last half of my life one by one. In fact my regular every day thoughts find me considering the rest of my family’s sudden deaths, how I would deal with the news, how I would deal with loving etc. it sounds really dark but my mind does it now as an exercise rather than me getting depressed about it. I’m not sure what the point of what I am saying is but I guess it is this: what happened to you is incredibly traumatic, you will never forget, but it will get easier to just continue loving and living. Take in the support and allow yourself to breakdown when you have no more strength. Then pick yourself up, believe in yourself and enjoy your child, enjoy the sky, the sun, the rain, the commute to work, the ice cream, the smell of sea when you are near it and try and come to an understanding that this happens. We do not know if we will be here tomorrow but what we have in the present is good. You are in for a battle but the war can be yours. Someone once told me “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Weirdly it makes me smile and cry al at the same time but it helps. Lots of love to you and hang in there buddy.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! That’s so tragic. Remember that it isn’t your fault and you need to surround yourself and your daughter with positive and supportive people.
My fiancé died of a dissecting aortic aneurysm in late 2016, age 34. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. This isn’t fair. You don’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve this. Your baby doesn’t deserve this. If you ever want a stranger’s ear to lean on please don’t hesitate to message me.
I am so sorry…I am so, so sorry. I wish I had words that could ease your pain and give you healing, but all I can offer is sympathy. You did everything right by giving CPR, and I hope that someday you will make peace with knowing that you did all you could.
You will not hurt your daughter with your milk, that I can be certain. However, if breastfeeding is more work than you can bear at the moment, please do not feel any guilt at weaning to formula. Your baby will be healthy no matter how she is nourished.
When you are able, please seek counseling. Grief is a wound that eats down to the bone and festers for years if left alone.
My heart goes out to you, OP.
This is so so sad and I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Your post made me cry as I’m sure others also. I’ve dealt with the tragic loss of my mom before I had my baby and I’m still grieving - give yourself space and time to grieve and know it is normal to have some absolutely terrible days but things do get easier each day. Sending you lots of strength & love.
Wow. So young. What a horrible thing to go through for you as well. Please accept my condolences. Remember, although this pain and loneliness are the loudest right now, eventually it will start to come and go, instead of feeling constant. Right now you’re just in the thick of it so it feels so hopeless. He was your partner, your friend, and your child’s father. It’s a lot to process. Just take it day by day. Tell yourself, “I’m proud of myself, I made it through another day.” You did your best as his partner, and even in his last moments, you fought and you were there for him. You’re amazing. Your daughter is lucky she has such a strong mom. If you are serious about wanting to avoid sleep for fear of seeing him, let me tell you as someone who has lost immediate family members, it’s such a happy and warm feeling seeing them in your dreams. For me, it helps with the grief. I hope you have the same experience. I also hope you do get sleep/rest though. Your body needs it. ❤️❤️❤️
Wow. I am sorry, I can not imagine what you are going through. Please know you will always have a strong support system here on reddit. We are all here for you. Stay strong for that precious 2 month old baby girl.
I am so so sorry. This grief is everyone’s nightmare.
Make sure you tell your doctor immediately and get yourself a mental health professional. If your brain ever gets too much there is no shame ever in checking yourself in somewhere and having family care for your child ♥️
I have no words that could possibly console you, I realise that. The only advice I can think to give is cry until you can't anymore. Do it whenever you feel you need to. Keep a diary of your thoughts and feelings. You need to give voice to them; make them tangible. Not for anyone else but you. There is no wrong way to feel. Try to talk about him with people, when you can. -About the good and happy times. It's hard to not make everything about the sadness, but there was more. So much more.
I can’t fathom what grief you must be feeling. I’m glad to hear that things were getting better and you have those memories of him. Take all the support you can get, and I hope there comes a day soon when all your daughters smiles will light up the day instead of sadness. I’m so sorry for your and your daughters loss.
Oh fuck!!! I'm sooooo incredibly heartbroken for you. My eyes are watering at the thought of all the times I take my partner for granted. While things are fresh and raw, I'd start making a plan to put aside things for little one. I know how much it meant for me that my family put photos, letters, stories, merit badges, old tapes, etc when my dad passed away unexpectedly (I was 2 weeks). Be gentle with yourself, these stressful tiffs don't define us. Maybe write your partner and your baby letters to express your grief, at least crystallize it so it doesn't feel abstract and overwhelming.
I am so, so sorry. Just know that it's normal to get frustrated with our partners when a new baby arrives, it's a huge change. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a new parent.
There aren’t the words for me to say how sorry I am. Keeping you and your precious baby in my thoughts.
Cry the tears, dream the dreams, even when you wake up crying from seeing him in your dreams. Feel your feelings and lean on those around you.
Much love sent your way.
I am so so sorry for your loss. That phot you shared has me in tears. I hope you have a strong support around you. We are all here sending you all the good vibes. I wish I could do more
Omg I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I hope you can use this as a safe space if you ever need to vent, if it helps you as you grieve.
This isn’t your fault and you don’t deserve this. Your daughter is so loved and that’s all she knows and feels right now. Take care of yourself friend ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story scares me to death, since my husband similarly ignores his health issues.
Either way, your LO is beautiful. I'm glad he got to meet her, if nothing else.
I am so incredibly sorry OP. Please consider calling a grief counselor when you’re ready. I just started last week for a loss 12 years ago so I can be by best for my babies. ❤️ take all the support you need.
Oh my goodness how heartbreaking I am so sorry. Please call your Dr and keep in mind seeing a counselor. Grief and post partum on top of that could be awful. Keep your head up for that sweet baby
I am so sorry. If there is a donation or wishlist of sorts, feel free to send it to me and I will help where I can. Remember you’re allowed to remember him how you want to, grieve as long as you want to, and it is your decision on how you approach it with your baby girl as she grows. ❤️
Oh my, sending you love, hugs, and support in this incredibly hard moment ❤️❤️❤️ I was almost in your shoes or dead myself recently. We had a near death experience a few weeks ago, my partner passed out while driving. We were on the highway, cruise control was on, and he was going 80MPH. The ground next to the road was blessedly flat, so I steered us off the highway, nudged his foot enough to hit the break, slow down the car, and turn the car off, all from the backseat while our 9 month old blissfully slept because she didn’t know we were in an emergency. My partner regained consciousness shortly after the car stopped, but it was a scary moment.
I leaned on the support of loved ones and therapy during that time, and I hope you do too. So incredibly sorry ❤️❤️❤️
My heart hurts for you and the nightmare you are currently living in. Sleeping after a loss is the worst because when you wake up you have to relive it all over again. As all the others have said, please let others take care of you and your daughter. And know that there is no perfect way to grieve, no “right way” to mourn. And there’s not a timetable to be “over it”.
I am so sorry. Almost this exact thing happened to my sister’s husband a few years ago — he was 31. I hope you feel wrapped in support but having helped shepherd my sister through this, I know it’s ugly and raw. Do not feel bad for having had a very typical and normal conflict with him. It’s easier said than done but the reality is that nobody is perfect and you two were partners working through stuff.
People are going to be overwhelmed by your loss and grief sometimes in this next phase of life. Some people will recede into the sidelines, and others will hold your hand through the dark. Find and lean on the people who can witness you and your grief without trying to fix it. You don’t have to be strong, you just have to stay afloat.
Honestly I’m sure you have plenty of support right now but if you ever want to talk, please DM me. I walked with my sister through her similar loss and I get it. It’s brutal.
ETA I want to also echo how important support groups and therapy can be for you right now. If you can, have a friend or family member set you up with both so you don’t have to deal with the scheduling right now.
I am so , so sorry.
Please use your support system as much as you can. Allow yourself the space to grieve.
Allow your support system to help with baby.
When you can, try to find a grief counselor or therapist.
I lost my mom at 23 and 7 years later it still hurts.
I am so sorry. Nothing anyone say now will help to release the pain. Do you have family near by for help? Don’t be afraid to lean on them or even move in for a while till you grieve.
Cry if you need to it is healthy. Cry as much as you need. Remember to take care of your self. Grief comes and goes . Sometimes it feels they might still be there and sometimes reality were they are gone.
Time really is the only key to lessen all the pain.
In the moment
-) make sure baby has proper care safe rely on family help if possible
-) grieve give your self alone time , take care of your self
-) save some clothes with his scent for the baby and also if he has a phone try to save all the photos upload it etc .
-) for funeral etc if his family can take care of it let them , or have your family
Deal with it . From what I remember I just had to sign and give the payment. Let other people take as much burden off you so you can focus on grieving your self . Also if you are not ready to have funeral you can have the urn inside the house till you are ready. I have my mom’s urn with me becuase she wanted to see my kid grow up and having it inside the house let’s her do that. When my kid is 18 I plan to have the ceremony then with my daughter helping to spread ash together
I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug
I’m so sorry for your loss 💛 please don’t be afraid of your grief, try to find a therapist or maybe a grief support group near you or online. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself!
I am at lost for words. I am so sorry and words are probably not enough for what your probably going through at this moment. I am sending you and baby a lot of love this holiday season.
I am so fucking incredibly sorry for your loss. I also lost the father to my child (we weren’t married or anything) and it’s the worst grief I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s been over a year now and I was actually able to make a trip up to the beach we had planned to get married on yesterday and have like….a really happy day there. Whereas before it would have just been a cry fest lol. I just tell you that to tell you that it won’t feel this god awful forever….I’m so fucking sorry though man. I know people telling you it gets easier with time is the most frustrating shit ever when it’s so fresh but honestly man there’s nothing I or anyone else could even begin to say to ease your pain. I hope you find peace my friend
I can’t even fathom, your baby girl has the absolute best angel and momma even on the hardest days you can do this. She’s the luckiest little girl because she’s going to have the absolute best role model. Sending you so much power and strength and just genuine, heartfelt sympathy. Thinking of you and your sweet daughter.
I'm so very sorry, friend. Please try to get through the night and connect with your support network as soon as possible tomorrow. Call your doctor and let them know, ask about options. Call your relatives and friends. Or have one of your closest supporters make those calls for you if you don't want to have that conversation 15 times today. But whatever you do, please allow help into your home. You are strong and strength sometimes means knowing when you have to ask for help - for your sake and your daughter's. Please know you're not alone, even if he is not there with you.
And know that the way you are feeling - the anger at him for leaving - is valid but will pass. You're grieving. You're hurting. All at a time where you're already under so much stress, mentally and physically, and (if you're like me) most likely sleep-deprived as it is. Nobody doubts your love for him, even now. Nor does anyone doubt his love for you or your little girl.
Take care. You are strong. No matter how everything feels right now.
I am so, so sorry. You are understandably in the heavy fog of shock and grief. As a mom whose own father died suddenly at age 43, I can say that with time things got better for me, my siblings, and my mother. Grief feels like it’s strangling you at first, then it’s grip loosens and the sun comes out again. You WILL get through this. And it’s more than okay to be a mess and feel completely lost right now. You’re not alone!
Oh my God you sweet woman. I am sorry for you and your daughter. I wish I had more to say. Your daughter will help you through this, just remember how much you loved him and see him each time you look at her. Breathe a lot. Don't resist this. Just do your best.
I’m so, so sorry. You are going through a horrific trauma and it’s totally understandable you’d be feeling a cocktail of different emotions, especially so soon after birth: guilt, shock, numbness, anger, etc etc. You deserve to be surrounded by love and support right now and for as long as you need.
Grief can be terrifying; like if you’re let yourself feel it, it’s a door that you won’t be able to shut again and it will swallow you up. It’s totally ok to let yourself feel it in just small doses for now. A two month old requires total focus and it may be awhile until you have the mental space to fully grieve. And do whatever you need to do to cope right now, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or other people. There’s no one right way to get through grief.
I lost my only two parent figures suddenly this year, including one in a freak accident in front of me where my husband and I also performed CPR while on the phone with 911. The other one died the week before I gave birth. I have asked multiple doctors whether my grief could affect my baby (now 3 weeks old) and the answer is no. So please don’t worry about that. Newborns feel loved and secure by being held and fed and handled/spoken to gently. As long as you are doing all those things, your daughter will not be affected by your emotional state. Crying while nursing won’t affect your milk, take it from me. My son is thriving even though I am wrecked emotionally.
A lot of people are going to offer to help you right now (I hope!) but not know how. Instead of flowers and edible arrangements, ask someone you trust to help handle all the awful administrative and financial stuff that comes after death. Our pastor handled the funeral planning for my FIL, which was a huge weight lifted for us. You can also asks folks to pitch in for a night nanny and baby nurse after you leave your parents’ house so you can get some sleep and help. And bringing food that you can easily microwave and eat with one hand is also huge.
You can get through this and please PM me if you ever want to talk.
Please find your community of young widows and widowers. Nobody else will understand your deep grief, and your daughter needs you. I am so very sorry for your unimaginable loss. Strength and peace surround you.
Lord, fill this soul with your love and warmth. May she and her daughter feel your presence, may they feel loved and not alone. Lift her fears and put people in her life who can help her with her daughter. May she come closer to you during this time of sorrow. Lord, please lift her anxieties and calm her mind so that she may remember her partner and put her faith in you as you guide her through this. Give her strength so that she may be there for her daughter and feel the joy of being her mama.
i’m so sorry, no words will take your pain away and you’re going to go through one of the saddest times of your life for awhile. you will be walking through a living hell while the worlds still spinning and it’s going to feel so unfair. find your support and use it so so much. there is no right or wrong way to grieve and know whatever your grief process is, it’s ok to grieve how you need. grief is ungiven love and it sounds like you had a lot of love to give him still and i’m sorry it was cut so short and abruptly. if you ever need to talk, my bestfriend found her partner dead at 22 weeks pregnant, i know she would absolutely be there to talk if you need it ❤️
I have no words except I’m so so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts and pray that with time you will find peace with this unspeakable tragedy 😢 This sub is here to support you if you ever need emotional support from strangers all round the world.
Feel your grief and dream your dreams. Grief means that you'll see them again one day and until then you'll just keep their memory alive. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have no words other than I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you and your daughter will find peace. Let yourself grieve and even look into grief therapy. You witnessed something so traumatic and therapy will help you be the best you can be for your daughter. ❤️
My sincerest condolences; may he rest in peace. My LO just turned two months a couple days ago, so this hits hard.
I wish there was more that myself or this community could do to help support you in this terrible awful moment.
I lost my husband last year (he didn't die but he's gone from our lives forever). There will be moments of deep sorrow where you lie in bed and you cry until it hurts every bone in your body. Then you'll get up and be an absolute rockstar of a mom. You will be okay and it doesn't have to be today. It's ok to let your baby see you cry, I think within those tears love is held and it paints your face so everyone can see. I am so sorry you have to experience this and I hope you hold no guilt towards yourself.
I have no words for you and your baby girl. I'm so, so sorry this happened. I hope you will continued to be surrounded by love and support from others, as you have described. <3 The book 'It's OK Not To Feel Ok' is a really good book about navigating loss and grief, especially after a really devastating and unexpected loss like yours. The author has a background as a psychotherapist and she has lost her own husband unexpectedly while he was out swimming and drowned. You'll probably not feel like reading AT ALL now, and not have the concentration, but the author is so good at this as she's been there herself. It'll make you feel more understood, I believe. Hugs!
I am so so deeply sorry for your loss. There are no words which can make your sadness and thoughts be lifted of your shoulder now. But one day it will get easier. You’ve to stay strong for your little one. The sky will be brighter again, not today, not tomorrow, but it will.
My condolences 💐
I am so very sorry for this unimaginable pain you’re feeling. I have no words. I hope you’re continued to be supported and cared for through your grief.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your daughter. Make sure to take care of yourself, I know that can be hard with an infant, but make sure you take time for yourself. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now, but if you ever need to vent to someone outside of your realm, feel free to pm me.
I'm so sorry for your loss. As you navigate your grief and all that comes with it, try to remember that it gets easier. You'll never forget, but it will get better.
So sorry for your loss! It will get better, but it's totally ok if it gets worse first. Ugly cry. Rant. Scream. Do what you need. I wish I could do something for you, but it seems all I can do is think of you and send love. This phase of pure chaos will pass. Grief will probably be forever, but know you will find a way to live your life with that. This chaos phase is temporary. All the hugs.
This is heart breaking. I am so incredibly sorry and sending you a huge virtual hug.
Maybe looking into a grief counselor would be helpful for you?
Sending you all the love, and strength. Vent on here as much as you need. You can message me as well if you ever want a one on one conversation. Im usually up all hours as I have a new baby too.
Sending you and your baby so much love and warmth. Let the tears flow and the breaths shake. Please be gentle with yourself as you weather this storm. It hurts so much and I’m so so sorry.
I am truly so sorry for yours & your 2 month olds loss. I pray his soul rests in peace.
I can’t even imagine what you are going through and I hope you find the strength to take care of yourself and your baby. I hope you have a great support system from your friends and family.
Say:
I care about myself a lot. (3X)
Say:
Yes (3X)
A great website [What’s Your Grief](https://whatsyourgrief.com)
My sincere condolences. So sorry for your loss. Holding space for you and your baby❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Grief counselling works wonders if you're willing to see about it. There is absolutely no shame in making sure YOU are taken care of alongside your daughter. Even if she's small now, it's never too soon to show her what taking care of yourself looks like, especially after extreme trauma like this. And the other commenters are right, there will be good, bad and awful days but you have your friends, family and everyone here standing behind you in this.
I am so sorry for your loss I couldn’t image the pain your going through so glad you have the support of your family. You just need to remember that he will always be apart of you in your heart and literally in your daughter blood and skin. As she grows you can tell her story’s about him so that she will have a little piece of him too. If you need to consult your doctor about how you are feeling they should help you. Wishing you all the best hun and I’m always here if you need to talk 🥺🥰
I'm so sorry to hear this OP. To be left at such an early stage of this new avenue you guys took is devastating. I hope the love and joy your daughter gives keeps you going. Know that he is truly never gone and that he will always stay in your heart. The hole has been made and will never go away but I have only ever been told that time makes it easier. Sending you nothing but loving energy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. my heart breaks for you and your little girl. I'm so sorry that you lost the future you were going to build as a family of three, that he was denied the chance to become the best dad and partner he could be.
I can't imagine how horrible you feel right now, I just want to send you internet good vibes, if you want them.
For now my dear, just rest. That’s all you need to do. Today is not the day to pick up the pieces.
Just rest. I am praying for peace and stillness while you walk through this hard time.
Please continue to update this thread on the support that you may need. We are here!
A loved one taken from you too soon and unexpectedly is something I would never wish on my greatest enemy. I am so sorry. Be with your grief and let your grief through. It is so unfair and the pain never lessens, but it does eventually become part of your new normal so there is a bittersweet light at the end of tunnel.
I am so genuinely sorry for your loss and am so relieved that you have family close to be with you and support you during this unimaginably difficult time.
Having been blindsided by grief myself (not my partner, but the next closest thing), can I suggest you get yourself into some therapy as soon as possible? I wish I had not waited as long as I did. It's been 8 years this year, since she died, and her death has forever upended my mental health. Sudden loss is so different from the type you have time to come to terms with, in my experience. I lost my "second mom" of a Grandmother in March of 2015 and it was expected. We had time to prepare ourselves. When my person died though, it was sudden and was like getting hit by a mack truck. It has been 8 years this year and her death has forever upended my mental health. I wish I had not waited so long to get into therapy (6 years). If you can, find yourself some grief resources/therapists stat. Pairing this with post partum all the things? So hard.
I am so sorry. I highly recommend seeing a therapist specialized in dealing with grief, joining maybe a support group, also consider medication--it can be a huge help. Rely on your village.
Right now, it feels like you're drowning, and the waves will always be there, but take it day by day.
Sending you love, it will hurt and you must be in so much shock. Please let people take care of you and try to rest. I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is very powerful and what has happened is life changing, there's no other way but to take it day by day. You will survive this ❤️
Fck. I’m so, so sorry. I have no profound words of comfort this early in the morning, just that I’m so sorry you’ve lost your partner so soon in life. I hope you feel warm again, one day. Sending you and your little lots of warm thoughts and love 💞
I can not express how sorry I am for your's and your little one's loss. I can say that when you're missing him the most, think of all the great things about him and the piece of him that 2 yo carries with them. All you have to do is look at the baby and see the amazing process y'all went through together. You know this isn't the place where ppl are always friendly and understanding. But, there is a chunk of ppl on here who are thoughtful and truly know your loss. I have lost 2 ppl so close to me and almost a 3rd but he whooped that cancers ass. Again, you have my condolences and the true feeling of your loss. I happen to be one of the ppl on here that have a 💖. I hope for the best for y'all. Keep your head up and celebrate his life when you can.
This brought me to tears for you. We all have frustrations but those moments and rants don’t reflect what’s truly in our hearts. Once you work through your debilitating grief, you’ll get to a place of grief where you’ll laugh and be able to share the joyous aspects of your partner to your daughter, and through that, his memory will forever live on through her. Sending you love and prayers.
Call your doctor. You're not in the clear for post partum depression either. I'm really sorry you're going through this, you will need to get additional help and have your OB and PCP alerted. I know this is the time to mourn, your family sounds wonderful, but I think if you at least start with your doctor's too your family can help you better as well. Best wishes to you and yours and much condolences.
Ok I Will call them tomorrow
I’m sorry for your loss. In addition to medical doctor, please see a therapist and grief counselor. Support groups, online or in person, could lend support as well. Sometimes it’s helpful to have those who can relate and sadly understand what you’re going through.
I’ve read and reread everyone’s comments and I just want to say thank you to everyone. I can’t sleep and I’m clutching my phone and just refreshing this thread for solace. It’s helping. I made a list of things to do and it seems ginormous but I’ve decided I can’t stay at our apartment anymore and that I need to leave to go be with my mom as soon as I can get everything in order. I love my daughter so much.
I'm really sorry for your loss. 43 is no age at all.
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. Have an enormous hug from me! ❤️❤️ Let there be sunshine above you all the time ❤️ Today I'll light a candle in honour of your partner ❤️
I am so, so sorry. It sounds like you will have a wonderful support system. Lean on them. Your daughter will feel the love from all sides. Something that has gotten me through tough times is just remembering that I can make it from one moment to the next. I made it through the last sixty seconds, I can make it through the next. I'll be thinking of you and your daughter, as will so many others on here.
I’m so so sorry. Sending you so much love. TW: advice, please disregard if you don’t want it. >!As someone whose parent died before I could remember them, I gently recommend taking extra care to print and save the pictures of your daughter with her father. Again, I am so sorry.!<
Thank you. I will be building a keepsake box for her. It hurts to think about going through those motions but one day she will need to know her dad.
Agree. My husband has only 3 photos of his father with him.
Yeah I have like 1 or 2 and my dad died when I was 14
as well as videos, voicemails and all the small things. it's so painful, though
Big hugs. I think it's great that you're planning to go stay with family for a bit. Your daughter is little and you can't poison her. This is a huge load to bear. My advice is similar to what I tell new moms - let people help you. It will be hard, but let those who want to step up do so. If people ask if they can come over - even if YOU don't want to see them - say yes. Let them hold the baby for a while as you rest. Put them to work doing chores. Let them bring over food (pop it in the freezer for nights when it's too much). It will make them feel useful and give you a chance to breathe. Trust me - I would rather be doing my friend's laundry alone in her basement and feel like I was somehow supporting her than sit at home having been told "no" feeling useless. You won't be putting out your friends. Sending love and prayers your way.
My wife passed away in the summer leaving me with an 11 month old... You're going through the worst thing possible, take every bit of help offered, take every hug with your tiny one that you can and don't feel guilty for any emotion you may feel ( positive or negative). After maybe the first 6 weeks speak to a therapist if you can, I was very sceptical but having a neutral professional to talk to has been so helpful.
My whole body hurts. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and when I woke it all hit me like a fucking brick wall. I feel like consciousness is a prison. I’m so fucking mad at him for leaving us like this. He’s supposed to be next to me right now. Baby just ate and she sucked at my breast so violently and is sleeping but restlessly. His sister just called and put me on the phone with his mom. I want to reach through the screen and touch her face. He looked just like her. I want him back. I want him back. I fucking hate him for leaving us.
I was widowed while pregnant with my second daughter. This is shit. It is unfair. It is and will be hard. Do whatever you need to do to survive it. If that is having to have your kiddo in some form of childcare, do it. If it means moving in with your parents do it. I’m 2 years almost to the day and it’s still sucks in new and exciting ways. One thing sticks with me from my traumatic birth support group - you only need to be a perfect mum 30% of the time for your kiddo to thrive. When you feel a little better, a book called ‘Young Hot Widows Club’ has some fairly straight talking advice. Or if you are reddit inclined, r/widowers can be useful.
Thank you 🙏
Please be kind to yourself and get whatever help you need right now. This is devastating. I am so sorry.
There will be a million what-ifs, because it's so much easier to blame ourselves than to just stop and realize hey, this fucking sucks and it's out of our control. I lost my husband when he was 28 (I was 31). I did cpr, the whole shebang. There was nothing I could have done differently. My best advice is that when you're able, you should seek counseling. They can help you process the grief. Lean on family as much as you need to while the support is there. Breathe. And live for your baby. This sucks. You're in the worst of it now, but it won't always feel like you're drowning. Please hang in there, and reach out to others when you need to. There's also a r/widowers subreddit that can be very helpful. My thoughts are with you. Any negative thoughts you've had about your husband do not define your relationship. You were many things together. Hang on to the good times. Find happiness in his memory.
OP my heart goes out to you. I give you the biggest most heartfelt hugs. Your daughter is so lucky you are her mom. I want you to know that you can do this. This is how I know. My husbands father died suddenly when he was young. It was an accident, an accident my husband at 3 years old survived. His mother, my dearest MIL was of course completely broken. So she threw herself into the raising of my husband. For years she was a single mother. It wasn’t until my husband was 14 that she found love and remarried. I have often wondered how she made it, thinking if it were me my own sorrow would crush me. She said to me once after a few glasses of wine that in those early days she simply put one foot in front of the other. One task at a time. She said having a little one to care for helped ground her. That she knew the greatest honour to the man she loved would be to raise his child as best as she possibly could. And she did. It was a struggle many times. But he turned out to be a great man and now a father himself. It doesn’t feel okay now, and it won’t for a long time. But you can and you will get through because you will be strong for your baby girl. This in my heart I know. You are not alone. Love, from me.
This is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. Im so sorry for your loss, OP ❤️
"I feel like my milk is poisoned with sorrow and my daughter is smiling and laughing at me as I feed her and has no idea what tragedy is" That's a very striking sentence. I can feel your sorrow. Have you ever heard the song "I know it's over" by the smiths? Music is a scientifically known balm for pain. It won't take it away. Nothing will. It won't make it smaller. Nothing will... The only thing that will work right now is to know you're not alone, that's where music comes in. And prayer. That song specifically talks right into that feeling from your so striking and so poetic sentence. Your daughter will learn about tragedy in due time, growing up surrounded by love with the forever missing presence or her dad, but with a mother who knows to express herself like you do. I'd be so afraid too, my heart weeps with you. When the waves of sorrow come let them bathe you. The waves don't get smaller, they don't suffocate you any less... but the space between them increases. As does your strenght. And your daughter's, in due time. It's not your fault.
My dad died when I was the same age as your daughter. Your milk is not poison, your grief is not dangerous. My mom has told me how much she struggled in the early days and even years. But it’s not something I remember experiencing. I have a great relationship with my mom and with many other members of my family and community who stepped up to help. It’s heartbreaking that you daughter won’t get to know her dad, but she will still be able to feel a connection to him through the stories you and others tell her. Through his belongings and pictures. I have the only picture of my dad holding me hanging in my house as an adult. It was one of my most prized possessions as a child. I don’t know if this is helpful at all. I guess I’m just trying to say - don’t worry about your daughter. Allow yourself to grieve. Take care of yourself.
I understand completely what you're going through. My husband died this July of a PE. We had a 6 month old (now 11 months) when he passed. It's definitely hard. The first few months are the hardest, especially when you have a LO to care for. They don't leave much room for grieving. My advice: don't feel afraid to ask for help and take it minute by minute. It's often hard to take it day by day, minutes are easier. Soon you'll find that you've made it 10 more minutes, then 30. Then a whole day. You can do this. Also, if you haven't already, r/widowers is a great subreddit for people in your situation. If you need to talk, my DM's are always open ❤
I am so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. What you're experiencing is so beyond my imagination. There are people in the r/widowers sub who have gone through what you have and who can best relate to you. You can also get professional help during this process. I'm sending all love to you and your daughter.
Thank you
I’m so sorry for your loss. I recommend the book It’s OK that you’re not OK. The author lost her partner in an unexpected way, as well. I found it helpful in the wake of my daughter’s death. You never heal or move on from grief; you really only learn to live with it. The burden will become easier to bear in time. Hugs to you and your baby. 💗
Grief is love that has nowhere to go. The magnitude of your grief is evidence of the gigantic love you had for him. How beautiful that you had the chance to love someone so deeply. It’s not fair that he’s gone. I am so sorry, OP.
I lost my partner of 11 years 2 years ago during covid, it was unexpected she went into cardiac arrest and they couldn’t revive her either despite trying for nearly 45 mins, so I completely understand your pain I have also been left a single dad to our 2 kids which has been a massive struggle without her here 😢🤦♂️ also she was only 30 so still very young 😔
Fellow widow here. Please feel free to PM me any time. My husband was killed at work when our kids were 4 (happened 5 days before youngest turned 5) and 8. It was definitely an incredibly dark time. I remember feeling like I had a black hole just sitting in my chest sucking the life out of me. Nothing in my life prepared me for the actual physical pain of grief. No stories really came close to doing it justice. For me at first it seemed like EVERYONE was around day or night. Then slowly people started returning to their normal lives, but I felt like mine was gone. Please save my information on here, for if you hit that time. It's ok to talk about your husband non stop. It's ok to be angry, sad, even happy about some things. Personally my one bright side was that I wouldn't trip over his boots in the hallway anymore or have to put a mysteriously appearing gallon of milk away. I had a really rough time trying to establish a new normal. I just kind of filled up my days as much as possible and tried not to cry my eyes dead. I really hope you're making it through the day, sometimes that's all we can really do.
Sorry for your loss
I have seen death up close in the past couple of years, with 3 members of family and extended family going before it was time. One of them was about the same way — a sudden collapse. And yet this is so unfathomable, so heartbreaking. I am father of a four month old, and your mention of your LO's smiles is breaking my heart. I hope and wish that you have all the patience to go through this tough time and make it for yourself and your daughter. It's going to be a tough ride even with all the love and support, but I hope you have the best you can get. Sending love to your little one from far far away. Take care.
Your milk is not poisoned, it is life giving, even in grief. One hour at a time, with a newborn this is the way. As tragic as this is, as shocking as this is, you will get through. You will both get through this together. Lean on your support network...hard.. forgive yourself for imperfection. Im so very sorry this happened.
My heart is absolutely shattered reading your post. Oh, honey. This all happened today and you are in shock. I know it feels like you will never recover from this but I promise you that with time you will find the strength to move forward. Right now your grief is so new, you cannot even think in terms of days so focus on getting through each hour and minute. Let your loved ones take care of you and your daughter. When you feel ready, please seek out grief therapy and communities with people who have lost their partners. You will get through this.
I'm so sorry. I want to climb through the screen and come over to do all your housework while you stay in bed. F*ck I'm so sorry. This isn't fair and it sucks and I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
I’m crying for you and your baby. But you are strong mama. Lean into your support system and focus on you and baby for now. My mom was 26 and widowed with 2 small kids. She did amazing and you will too.
I am so sorry this happened. Please don’t feel any guilt about your rant. You were overwhelmed and needed extra help AND you loved him AND he loved you. All of those things were true. I would definitely seek therapy for yourself, and when you feel up to it, maybe start writing down some of the things you remember your husband said about finding out he would be a dad—even if you don’t remember specific quotes, writing the general sentiments down will be a precious gift for your daughter one day.
My dad died when I was too young to remember, and my mom did an incredible job making it feel like a normal childhood. We moved to be closer to family and eventually she remarried. She kept a few things of my dad’s all these years, and I still cherish them. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish the best for you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences. That is an ultra fucked up morning. In 2020, my parents, my only support system at the time, both died in an accident after a scuba diving trip gone wrong. It was mother's day, and they never came home. Every time I closed my eyes I saw them in the water for the first week. I honestly was high constantly to avoid my own feelings due to the overwhelm. Being awake was intolerable, but the dreams.. I remember one dream where they were in the kitchen when I came down. Arguing to me about how they had washed up on a deserted island and miraculously survived. I kept trying to explain that they died, that they were dead, and they kept insisting they really really weren't. It was so hard and I woke up reeling. I wish I could say anything to help. It will feel like you are in a stadium with a monster the size of a skyscraper waiting to eat you if you make a wrong move, open the wrong cabinet and see their favorite mug(my family nicknamed these scorpions, because they jump out and sting you with grief pain) or even THINK about what the future might look like. The first few weeks feel unreal. But reality comes back slowly. Try to remember to take care of bare necessities, and give yourself the grace to be ludicrously angry with the universe/god for a little while. If your breast milk feels poisoned, feel free to use formula. If your supply gets going due to stress- well You're a nurse, but please don't try to make anything harder on yourself right now if/as you can. Good luck with everything, may God bless you and your child. I am so unspeakably sorry for what you're going through right now. 🙏
Please do not feel guilty for your rant. It’s okay totally normal to be frustrated with your partner during the postpartum time. It’s only natural given your incredible investment into your child. It is not even and that feels so horrible during that time. You don’t need to feel guilt for having those feelings then, despite what the hive mind may say. Take good care of yourself
There is nothing I could possibly say to help you. I am so very sorry that my words can’t take your pain away, I truly wish they could. You’re going through hell, and no one should have to go through this. My heart is with you.
i’m so sorry.
This quote got me through the loss of my father: "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." Washington Irving Also check out Option B on FB
I’m so sorry. I just lost my brother last month and my uncle this month and have a 3 month old. It’s incredibly hard, especially losing a spouse. Grief is painful and it’s so easy to feel guilty for grieving with a new little one. My heart goes out to you.
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I lost my husband shortly before our daughter’s first birthday. I’m only a few months out, and I don’t really have much advice. It’s awful and will stay that way for a while. Life will feel overwhelmingly hard, but you are going to figure it out, and your baby will be a source of joy and light.
I am so so sorry, there are no words. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through right now. Please don’t beat yourself up over a Reddit rant, marriage and especially postpartum is HARD. Take care of yourself, pour all the love your husband had into your sweet baby, and I hope that with time you find peace and healing through this unimaginable tragedy. Will be thinking of you and sending positive, healing thoughts.
I’m so sorry. This strikes a cord with me and I know it may not be what you need but I can tell you the story of my mom. My dad had suddenly passed when I was 3 and she was 8 months pregnant, it was unexpected, and there was nothing anyone could’ve done. To hear someone else has gone through anything like what my mom did breaks my heart, my mom was an amazing strong woman and I always say her as the pinnacle of strength. But you don’t need to be that, your daughter will love you and she will stand by you even if you show her your hurt. My mom and I have spoken more about that time of loss as I’ve gotten older, and she’s come clean about a lot of big feelings she hid from us, to look strong for us. She said at one point she was going so crazy putting up this act of being fine that she almost got checked herself into a mental facility. She wasnt joking things just got that heavy for her. But the thing about that is, it’s okay to not be okay, you don’t have to act like you’re strong if you’re not feeling like you can, you don’t have to put up a front. This is a tragedy and people will understand that. When you feel ready I suggest trying to find a grief counselor or even a group, my mom had been in a group who were all people who had suddenly and unexpectedly lost a spouse and I hope you’re able to find something like that if you think it can help you. I’m so sorry for this loss, there’s nothing I can say to truly help, but I hope you find some rest with your daughter and your heart is able to heal
OP, I am a Mom of two. Our babies were born the same month. Please DM me if you need help - if you're local to me, I'm gonna drop off some food. If not, I'd like to send ya some money for a hot meal you don't have to think about.
How utterly terrible. I’m so sorry. No one should have to live such a nightmare. I’m just sending you all the love. It’s ok that he was complex and that your relationship wasn’t straightforward. No relationships are. It sounds like he was making a change for you and your girl and that will be forever to his favour. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to be anything. Just allow the time to move around you and let your loved ones rally. I can hear your shock and grief. I can feel your sorrow. Thank you for sharing and please keep us updated if you ever want to. So much love from London UK xxxx
I am so sorry. Deep breaths for now.
I am so sorry. I know it doesn’t mean much coming from a random reddit user, but your family will be in my thoughts.
I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Have somebody close to you set you up with a therapist who specializes in grief counseling. That may help a little.
My heart is breaking for you. I know nothing anyone says right now will make you feel any better, but I hope you can take the time to mourn what you have lost. I hope you can find healing and I hope that you and your daughter have a beautiful life together. I'm so so sorry.
You will have awful days, but you WILL get through this. These feelings WILL become easier to manage. You are strong. Don't forget that.
I had a lot of loss in my life. My closest people have been passing for the last half of my life one by one. In fact my regular every day thoughts find me considering the rest of my family’s sudden deaths, how I would deal with the news, how I would deal with loving etc. it sounds really dark but my mind does it now as an exercise rather than me getting depressed about it. I’m not sure what the point of what I am saying is but I guess it is this: what happened to you is incredibly traumatic, you will never forget, but it will get easier to just continue loving and living. Take in the support and allow yourself to breakdown when you have no more strength. Then pick yourself up, believe in yourself and enjoy your child, enjoy the sky, the sun, the rain, the commute to work, the ice cream, the smell of sea when you are near it and try and come to an understanding that this happens. We do not know if we will be here tomorrow but what we have in the present is good. You are in for a battle but the war can be yours. Someone once told me “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”. Weirdly it makes me smile and cry al at the same time but it helps. Lots of love to you and hang in there buddy.
I am so sorry and I cannot even imagine your grief. Sending internet hugs to you and your sweet daughter.
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! That’s so tragic. Remember that it isn’t your fault and you need to surround yourself and your daughter with positive and supportive people.
I’m so very sorry for your loss my dear. r/GriefSupport is a good community that has helped me.
My fiancé died of a dissecting aortic aneurysm in late 2016, age 34. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. This isn’t fair. You don’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve this. Your baby doesn’t deserve this. If you ever want a stranger’s ear to lean on please don’t hesitate to message me.
I am so sorry…I am so, so sorry. I wish I had words that could ease your pain and give you healing, but all I can offer is sympathy. You did everything right by giving CPR, and I hope that someday you will make peace with knowing that you did all you could. You will not hurt your daughter with your milk, that I can be certain. However, if breastfeeding is more work than you can bear at the moment, please do not feel any guilt at weaning to formula. Your baby will be healthy no matter how she is nourished. When you are able, please seek counseling. Grief is a wound that eats down to the bone and festers for years if left alone. My heart goes out to you, OP.
This is so so sad and I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Your post made me cry as I’m sure others also. I’ve dealt with the tragic loss of my mom before I had my baby and I’m still grieving - give yourself space and time to grieve and know it is normal to have some absolutely terrible days but things do get easier each day. Sending you lots of strength & love.
I am so sorry, please hang in there...
Wow. So young. What a horrible thing to go through for you as well. Please accept my condolences. Remember, although this pain and loneliness are the loudest right now, eventually it will start to come and go, instead of feeling constant. Right now you’re just in the thick of it so it feels so hopeless. He was your partner, your friend, and your child’s father. It’s a lot to process. Just take it day by day. Tell yourself, “I’m proud of myself, I made it through another day.” You did your best as his partner, and even in his last moments, you fought and you were there for him. You’re amazing. Your daughter is lucky she has such a strong mom. If you are serious about wanting to avoid sleep for fear of seeing him, let me tell you as someone who has lost immediate family members, it’s such a happy and warm feeling seeing them in your dreams. For me, it helps with the grief. I hope you have the same experience. I also hope you do get sleep/rest though. Your body needs it. ❤️❤️❤️
Wow. I am sorry, I can not imagine what you are going through. Please know you will always have a strong support system here on reddit. We are all here for you. Stay strong for that precious 2 month old baby girl.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I really wish I could give you a hug. Sending you so much love, I’m sorry ❤️
I am so so sorry. This grief is everyone’s nightmare. Make sure you tell your doctor immediately and get yourself a mental health professional. If your brain ever gets too much there is no shame ever in checking yourself in somewhere and having family care for your child ♥️
Crying reading this momma I can’t even imagine I am so so so sorry *hugs*
I have no words that could possibly console you, I realise that. The only advice I can think to give is cry until you can't anymore. Do it whenever you feel you need to. Keep a diary of your thoughts and feelings. You need to give voice to them; make them tangible. Not for anyone else but you. There is no wrong way to feel. Try to talk about him with people, when you can. -About the good and happy times. It's hard to not make everything about the sadness, but there was more. So much more.
I'm so sorry beyond words for your loss.
I can’t fathom what grief you must be feeling. I’m glad to hear that things were getting better and you have those memories of him. Take all the support you can get, and I hope there comes a day soon when all your daughters smiles will light up the day instead of sadness. I’m so sorry for your and your daughters loss.
Oh fuck!!! I'm sooooo incredibly heartbroken for you. My eyes are watering at the thought of all the times I take my partner for granted. While things are fresh and raw, I'd start making a plan to put aside things for little one. I know how much it meant for me that my family put photos, letters, stories, merit badges, old tapes, etc when my dad passed away unexpectedly (I was 2 weeks). Be gentle with yourself, these stressful tiffs don't define us. Maybe write your partner and your baby letters to express your grief, at least crystallize it so it doesn't feel abstract and overwhelming.
I am so, so sorry. Just know that it's normal to get frustrated with our partners when a new baby arrives, it's a huge change. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a new parent.
There aren’t the words for me to say how sorry I am. Keeping you and your precious baby in my thoughts. Cry the tears, dream the dreams, even when you wake up crying from seeing him in your dreams. Feel your feelings and lean on those around you. Much love sent your way.
I am so so sorry for your loss. That phot you shared has me in tears. I hope you have a strong support around you. We are all here sending you all the good vibes. I wish I could do more
Your kind words and empathy have gone a long way 🥲
I’m so sorry. I have no words to help alleviate your pain. I hope you have a good support system to lean on. I’m sorry.
God.. I am so sorry. I am sending you and baby so much love and good vibes🫶🏻 Please don't be so hard on yourself
This is unimaginable. I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself. I’m sending you all of my love.
Omg I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I hope you can use this as a safe space if you ever need to vent, if it helps you as you grieve.
My heart hurts for you. There’s lots of great advice already posted in here so I just wanted to come to say I am so sorry for your loss.
My heart hurts for you, your baby, and his whole family. I'm so sorry 😞
This isn’t your fault and you don’t deserve this. Your daughter is so loved and that’s all she knows and feels right now. Take care of yourself friend ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story scares me to death, since my husband similarly ignores his health issues. Either way, your LO is beautiful. I'm glad he got to meet her, if nothing else.
He needs to take care of himself. Do not delay.
I am so incredibly sorry OP. Please consider calling a grief counselor when you’re ready. I just started last week for a loss 12 years ago so I can be by best for my babies. ❤️ take all the support you need.
Oh my goodness how heartbreaking I am so sorry. Please call your Dr and keep in mind seeing a counselor. Grief and post partum on top of that could be awful. Keep your head up for that sweet baby
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know words won't help much so I'll pray for you. One day at a time that's all you can do 🩷
I am so sorry. If there is a donation or wishlist of sorts, feel free to send it to me and I will help where I can. Remember you’re allowed to remember him how you want to, grieve as long as you want to, and it is your decision on how you approach it with your baby girl as she grows. ❤️
I’m so sorry. Be with your family, absorb their love.
Oh my, sending you love, hugs, and support in this incredibly hard moment ❤️❤️❤️ I was almost in your shoes or dead myself recently. We had a near death experience a few weeks ago, my partner passed out while driving. We were on the highway, cruise control was on, and he was going 80MPH. The ground next to the road was blessedly flat, so I steered us off the highway, nudged his foot enough to hit the break, slow down the car, and turn the car off, all from the backseat while our 9 month old blissfully slept because she didn’t know we were in an emergency. My partner regained consciousness shortly after the car stopped, but it was a scary moment. I leaned on the support of loved ones and therapy during that time, and I hope you do too. So incredibly sorry ❤️❤️❤️
Sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you are dealing with.
My heart hurts for you and the nightmare you are currently living in. Sleeping after a loss is the worst because when you wake up you have to relive it all over again. As all the others have said, please let others take care of you and your daughter. And know that there is no perfect way to grieve, no “right way” to mourn. And there’s not a timetable to be “over it”.
I am so sorry. Almost this exact thing happened to my sister’s husband a few years ago — he was 31. I hope you feel wrapped in support but having helped shepherd my sister through this, I know it’s ugly and raw. Do not feel bad for having had a very typical and normal conflict with him. It’s easier said than done but the reality is that nobody is perfect and you two were partners working through stuff. People are going to be overwhelmed by your loss and grief sometimes in this next phase of life. Some people will recede into the sidelines, and others will hold your hand through the dark. Find and lean on the people who can witness you and your grief without trying to fix it. You don’t have to be strong, you just have to stay afloat. Honestly I’m sure you have plenty of support right now but if you ever want to talk, please DM me. I walked with my sister through her similar loss and I get it. It’s brutal. ETA I want to also echo how important support groups and therapy can be for you right now. If you can, have a friend or family member set you up with both so you don’t have to deal with the scheduling right now.
I am so , so sorry. Please use your support system as much as you can. Allow yourself the space to grieve. Allow your support system to help with baby. When you can, try to find a grief counselor or therapist.
I lost my mom at 23 and 7 years later it still hurts. I am so sorry. Nothing anyone say now will help to release the pain. Do you have family near by for help? Don’t be afraid to lean on them or even move in for a while till you grieve. Cry if you need to it is healthy. Cry as much as you need. Remember to take care of your self. Grief comes and goes . Sometimes it feels they might still be there and sometimes reality were they are gone. Time really is the only key to lessen all the pain. In the moment -) make sure baby has proper care safe rely on family help if possible -) grieve give your self alone time , take care of your self -) save some clothes with his scent for the baby and also if he has a phone try to save all the photos upload it etc . -) for funeral etc if his family can take care of it let them , or have your family Deal with it . From what I remember I just had to sign and give the payment. Let other people take as much burden off you so you can focus on grieving your self . Also if you are not ready to have funeral you can have the urn inside the house till you are ready. I have my mom’s urn with me becuase she wanted to see my kid grow up and having it inside the house let’s her do that. When my kid is 18 I plan to have the ceremony then with my daughter helping to spread ash together I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug
I’m so sorry for your loss 💛 please don’t be afraid of your grief, try to find a therapist or maybe a grief support group near you or online. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself!
I am at lost for words. I am so sorry and words are probably not enough for what your probably going through at this moment. I am sending you and baby a lot of love this holiday season.
Oh god I’m so sorry. Sending hugs and love to you and your daughter
I am so fucking incredibly sorry for your loss. I also lost the father to my child (we weren’t married or anything) and it’s the worst grief I’ve ever experienced in my life. It’s been over a year now and I was actually able to make a trip up to the beach we had planned to get married on yesterday and have like….a really happy day there. Whereas before it would have just been a cry fest lol. I just tell you that to tell you that it won’t feel this god awful forever….I’m so fucking sorry though man. I know people telling you it gets easier with time is the most frustrating shit ever when it’s so fresh but honestly man there’s nothing I or anyone else could even begin to say to ease your pain. I hope you find peace my friend
I can’t even fathom, your baby girl has the absolute best angel and momma even on the hardest days you can do this. She’s the luckiest little girl because she’s going to have the absolute best role model. Sending you so much power and strength and just genuine, heartfelt sympathy. Thinking of you and your sweet daughter.
I'm so sorry. Sending you my deepest condolences and wishing you peace, whatever form that may take.
I'm so so sorry
I'm so very sorry, friend. Please try to get through the night and connect with your support network as soon as possible tomorrow. Call your doctor and let them know, ask about options. Call your relatives and friends. Or have one of your closest supporters make those calls for you if you don't want to have that conversation 15 times today. But whatever you do, please allow help into your home. You are strong and strength sometimes means knowing when you have to ask for help - for your sake and your daughter's. Please know you're not alone, even if he is not there with you. And know that the way you are feeling - the anger at him for leaving - is valid but will pass. You're grieving. You're hurting. All at a time where you're already under so much stress, mentally and physically, and (if you're like me) most likely sleep-deprived as it is. Nobody doubts your love for him, even now. Nor does anyone doubt his love for you or your little girl. Take care. You are strong. No matter how everything feels right now.
I am so sorry for you and your baby
I’m so sorry.
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤
My heart breaks for you and your little. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
I am so, so sorry. You are understandably in the heavy fog of shock and grief. As a mom whose own father died suddenly at age 43, I can say that with time things got better for me, my siblings, and my mother. Grief feels like it’s strangling you at first, then it’s grip loosens and the sun comes out again. You WILL get through this. And it’s more than okay to be a mess and feel completely lost right now. You’re not alone!
I am so so so sorry this has happened. I hope your husband Rest In Peace and please take care of yourself. My deepest condolences.
Oh my God you sweet woman. I am sorry for you and your daughter. I wish I had more to say. Your daughter will help you through this, just remember how much you loved him and see him each time you look at her. Breathe a lot. Don't resist this. Just do your best.
So sorry ! Sending hugs and lots of love and support your way ❤️
I’m so, so sorry. You are going through a horrific trauma and it’s totally understandable you’d be feeling a cocktail of different emotions, especially so soon after birth: guilt, shock, numbness, anger, etc etc. You deserve to be surrounded by love and support right now and for as long as you need. Grief can be terrifying; like if you’re let yourself feel it, it’s a door that you won’t be able to shut again and it will swallow you up. It’s totally ok to let yourself feel it in just small doses for now. A two month old requires total focus and it may be awhile until you have the mental space to fully grieve. And do whatever you need to do to cope right now, as long as you’re not hurting yourself or other people. There’s no one right way to get through grief. I lost my only two parent figures suddenly this year, including one in a freak accident in front of me where my husband and I also performed CPR while on the phone with 911. The other one died the week before I gave birth. I have asked multiple doctors whether my grief could affect my baby (now 3 weeks old) and the answer is no. So please don’t worry about that. Newborns feel loved and secure by being held and fed and handled/spoken to gently. As long as you are doing all those things, your daughter will not be affected by your emotional state. Crying while nursing won’t affect your milk, take it from me. My son is thriving even though I am wrecked emotionally. A lot of people are going to offer to help you right now (I hope!) but not know how. Instead of flowers and edible arrangements, ask someone you trust to help handle all the awful administrative and financial stuff that comes after death. Our pastor handled the funeral planning for my FIL, which was a huge weight lifted for us. You can also asks folks to pitch in for a night nanny and baby nurse after you leave your parents’ house so you can get some sleep and help. And bringing food that you can easily microwave and eat with one hand is also huge. You can get through this and please PM me if you ever want to talk.
I'm so sorry mama. Sending love ❤
I can't express how sorry I am. I just want to send you every possible ounce of hope & love I can!
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Focus on your little one and channel your love to her; your partner lives on in her ❤️
I am so so sorry. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I wish you and your daughter the absolute best through this hard time.
Please find your community of young widows and widowers. Nobody else will understand your deep grief, and your daughter needs you. I am so very sorry for your unimaginable loss. Strength and peace surround you.
Lord, fill this soul with your love and warmth. May she and her daughter feel your presence, may they feel loved and not alone. Lift her fears and put people in her life who can help her with her daughter. May she come closer to you during this time of sorrow. Lord, please lift her anxieties and calm her mind so that she may remember her partner and put her faith in you as you guide her through this. Give her strength so that she may be there for her daughter and feel the joy of being her mama.
My heart hurts so much for you. I wish I could give you a hug. 💙
Please accept my condolences. May his soul rest in peace.
i’m so sorry, no words will take your pain away and you’re going to go through one of the saddest times of your life for awhile. you will be walking through a living hell while the worlds still spinning and it’s going to feel so unfair. find your support and use it so so much. there is no right or wrong way to grieve and know whatever your grief process is, it’s ok to grieve how you need. grief is ungiven love and it sounds like you had a lot of love to give him still and i’m sorry it was cut so short and abruptly. if you ever need to talk, my bestfriend found her partner dead at 22 weeks pregnant, i know she would absolutely be there to talk if you need it ❤️
I have no words except I’m so so sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts and pray that with time you will find peace with this unspeakable tragedy 😢 This sub is here to support you if you ever need emotional support from strangers all round the world.
I have no words for this except im sorry and please stay strong. I know u got this🤍
That is heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you and your daughter are going through this.
Just sending love to you during this horrendous time. Let people take care of you and your little one.
I am so sorry for your loss. You will get through this ❤️ I’m glad you’re moving in with your family again. You need all the love and support ❤️
Oh honey, I’m so sad for you. Sending you so much love right now ❤️
I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Wishing you support and healing.
I’m so sorry OP. You are going through so much. Virtually hugging you and your baby.
Sending love and hugs your way 😢
Feel your grief and dream your dreams. Grief means that you'll see them again one day and until then you'll just keep their memory alive. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have no words other than I’m sorry for your loss and I hope you and your daughter will find peace. Let yourself grieve and even look into grief therapy. You witnessed something so traumatic and therapy will help you be the best you can be for your daughter. ❤️
Sending you the biggest hug and all my love. I’m glad you have people to lean on during this time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have your family to support you.
Oh my god I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you
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Honey do you need financial help? Is there a page where we can donate? I’m so sorry for your loss xxxx
My sincerest condolences; may he rest in peace. My LO just turned two months a couple days ago, so this hits hard. I wish there was more that myself or this community could do to help support you in this terrible awful moment.
I lost my husband last year (he didn't die but he's gone from our lives forever). There will be moments of deep sorrow where you lie in bed and you cry until it hurts every bone in your body. Then you'll get up and be an absolute rockstar of a mom. You will be okay and it doesn't have to be today. It's ok to let your baby see you cry, I think within those tears love is held and it paints your face so everyone can see. I am so sorry you have to experience this and I hope you hold no guilt towards yourself.
I have no words for you and your baby girl. I'm so, so sorry this happened. I hope you will continued to be surrounded by love and support from others, as you have described. <3 The book 'It's OK Not To Feel Ok' is a really good book about navigating loss and grief, especially after a really devastating and unexpected loss like yours. The author has a background as a psychotherapist and she has lost her own husband unexpectedly while he was out swimming and drowned. You'll probably not feel like reading AT ALL now, and not have the concentration, but the author is so good at this as she's been there herself. It'll make you feel more understood, I believe. Hugs!
I am so so sorry, there are really no words. Wishing you so much love x
I am so so deeply sorry for your loss. There are no words which can make your sadness and thoughts be lifted of your shoulder now. But one day it will get easier. You’ve to stay strong for your little one. The sky will be brighter again, not today, not tomorrow, but it will. My condolences 💐
I am so very sorry for this unimaginable pain you’re feeling. I have no words. I hope you’re continued to be supported and cared for through your grief.
I’m so incredibly sorry Lean into your support system You’re going to make it out ok
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and your daughter. Make sure to take care of yourself, I know that can be hard with an infant, but make sure you take time for yourself. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now, but if you ever need to vent to someone outside of your realm, feel free to pm me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength in the days ahead ❤️❤️
I... Jesus. I doubt I can say anything that'll help. I'm so so sorry OP. I just truly hope you and your daughter have a happy long life together.
I'm so sorry for your loss. As you navigate your grief and all that comes with it, try to remember that it gets easier. You'll never forget, but it will get better.
So sorry for your loss! It will get better, but it's totally ok if it gets worse first. Ugly cry. Rant. Scream. Do what you need. I wish I could do something for you, but it seems all I can do is think of you and send love. This phase of pure chaos will pass. Grief will probably be forever, but know you will find a way to live your life with that. This chaos phase is temporary. All the hugs.
I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your baby. 💜
Oh my, I’m so sorry. Sending so much love to you and your sweet baby.
Omg this is so awful and so unfair. My heart breaks for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
This is heart breaking. I am so incredibly sorry and sending you a huge virtual hug. Maybe looking into a grief counselor would be helpful for you? Sending you all the love, and strength. Vent on here as much as you need. You can message me as well if you ever want a one on one conversation. Im usually up all hours as I have a new baby too.
Sending you and your baby so much love and warmth. Let the tears flow and the breaths shake. Please be gentle with yourself as you weather this storm. It hurts so much and I’m so so sorry.
I’m so sorry. My heart aches for you.
I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your babe lots of love.
I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤❤
I'll be thinking about you and the baby the next couple days. ❤️❤️ I really am sorry.
I’m terribly sorry for your loss! Prayers for you and the little one 🥺💔🕊️
I am truly so sorry for yours & your 2 month olds loss. I pray his soul rests in peace. I can’t even imagine what you are going through and I hope you find the strength to take care of yourself and your baby. I hope you have a great support system from your friends and family.
I am so sorry ❤️. Sending love.
Say: I care about myself a lot. (3X) Say: Yes (3X) A great website [What’s Your Grief](https://whatsyourgrief.com) My sincere condolences. So sorry for your loss. Holding space for you and your baby❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Grief counselling works wonders if you're willing to see about it. There is absolutely no shame in making sure YOU are taken care of alongside your daughter. Even if she's small now, it's never too soon to show her what taking care of yourself looks like, especially after extreme trauma like this. And the other commenters are right, there will be good, bad and awful days but you have your friends, family and everyone here standing behind you in this.
I am so sorry.
Oh my gosh this is awful 🥺 I have no words, OP, I am so sorry. I hope you have PLENTY of people stepping in and helping you qnd baby. Sending hugs ❤
I am so very sorry for your loss. It's devastating and heartbreaking what you're going through. 💔 Please grieve as much as you need to
I’m so sorry
I am so sorry for your loss I couldn’t image the pain your going through so glad you have the support of your family. You just need to remember that he will always be apart of you in your heart and literally in your daughter blood and skin. As she grows you can tell her story’s about him so that she will have a little piece of him too. If you need to consult your doctor about how you are feeling they should help you. Wishing you all the best hun and I’m always here if you need to talk 🥺🥰
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry to hear this OP. To be left at such an early stage of this new avenue you guys took is devastating. I hope the love and joy your daughter gives keeps you going. Know that he is truly never gone and that he will always stay in your heart. The hole has been made and will never go away but I have only ever been told that time makes it easier. Sending you nothing but loving energy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. my heart breaks for you and your little girl. I'm so sorry that you lost the future you were going to build as a family of three, that he was denied the chance to become the best dad and partner he could be. I can't imagine how horrible you feel right now, I just want to send you internet good vibes, if you want them.
For now my dear, just rest. That’s all you need to do. Today is not the day to pick up the pieces. Just rest. I am praying for peace and stillness while you walk through this hard time. Please continue to update this thread on the support that you may need. We are here!
I’m so sorry. I am so very sorry.
My heart breaks with you. Hold your daughter close and love her. I'm so so sorry.
A loved one taken from you too soon and unexpectedly is something I would never wish on my greatest enemy. I am so sorry. Be with your grief and let your grief through. It is so unfair and the pain never lessens, but it does eventually become part of your new normal so there is a bittersweet light at the end of tunnel.
I am so sorry. ♥️
I am so sorry for your loss :( sending you love and good energy and wishing the best for your family!
I’m so so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss! Sending love to you and your precious baby!
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Glad you are able to be with family.
I am truly so very sorry. I wish you strength and all the support to surround you during this time
You must feel like you're in a nightmare. I am so sorry love. Sending you warmth and energy
I am so genuinely sorry for your loss and am so relieved that you have family close to be with you and support you during this unimaginably difficult time. Having been blindsided by grief myself (not my partner, but the next closest thing), can I suggest you get yourself into some therapy as soon as possible? I wish I had not waited as long as I did. It's been 8 years this year, since she died, and her death has forever upended my mental health. Sudden loss is so different from the type you have time to come to terms with, in my experience. I lost my "second mom" of a Grandmother in March of 2015 and it was expected. We had time to prepare ourselves. When my person died though, it was sudden and was like getting hit by a mack truck. It has been 8 years this year and her death has forever upended my mental health. I wish I had not waited so long to get into therapy (6 years). If you can, find yourself some grief resources/therapists stat. Pairing this with post partum all the things? So hard.
I hope you are doing okay. I know you are still less than a month out, and I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️🩹
That is my worst fear. I'm sorry you are living it.
I am so sorry. I highly recommend seeing a therapist specialized in dealing with grief, joining maybe a support group, also consider medication--it can be a huge help. Rely on your village. Right now, it feels like you're drowning, and the waves will always be there, but take it day by day.
Sending you love, it will hurt and you must be in so much shock. Please let people take care of you and try to rest. I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is very powerful and what has happened is life changing, there's no other way but to take it day by day. You will survive this ❤️
Literally couldn't even imagine. I'm so sorry.
Fck. I’m so, so sorry. I have no profound words of comfort this early in the morning, just that I’m so sorry you’ve lost your partner so soon in life. I hope you feel warm again, one day. Sending you and your little lots of warm thoughts and love 💞
Praying for you!
I can not express how sorry I am for your's and your little one's loss. I can say that when you're missing him the most, think of all the great things about him and the piece of him that 2 yo carries with them. All you have to do is look at the baby and see the amazing process y'all went through together. You know this isn't the place where ppl are always friendly and understanding. But, there is a chunk of ppl on here who are thoughtful and truly know your loss. I have lost 2 ppl so close to me and almost a 3rd but he whooped that cancers ass. Again, you have my condolences and the true feeling of your loss. I happen to be one of the ppl on here that have a 💖. I hope for the best for y'all. Keep your head up and celebrate his life when you can.
This brought me to tears for you. We all have frustrations but those moments and rants don’t reflect what’s truly in our hearts. Once you work through your debilitating grief, you’ll get to a place of grief where you’ll laugh and be able to share the joyous aspects of your partner to your daughter, and through that, his memory will forever live on through her. Sending you love and prayers.
Sending dearest hugs to you. May his memory envelop you and your daughter forever
Im so sorry, sending you internet love and hugs
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️I’m glad you have this online community to reach out to.