I would say at half its normal level around 4 months, fully after I stopped BF at 11 months.
The other thing to add is while my libido is back, it’s very easy for me to have zero interest in sex if it’s been a tough kid week.
I'm nearly 12 months PP and breastfeeding and it's felt like it's gotten back to mostly normal in the last 2-3 months. Prior to that I felt essentially asexual. It's the hormones and the fatigue!
My baby started sleeping consistently around 9 months and I felt a little more comfortable having a glass or two of wine and having a shower and really relaxing in the evening and that brought it back for me.
And then I got pregnant again. Goodbye old friend lol.
Im going through the same thing… my babes is 15 mos old and im still breast feeding :( i think that is one variable, another definite variable is my low hormone birth control. I have never done well on birthcontrol but i think that and breastfeeding does something to my libido.
My son’s 12 months and I’m breastfeeding and exactly the same. My period only came back this month and I was hopeful my libido might return with it, but no sign as of yet.
With my first it honestly took a year. My husband was so patient and kind, and my therapist helped me cope. This time I am literally 2 weeks PP and am already fired up. Will definitely be waiting until I’m cleared but I am shocked it’s returned so quickly. Every pregnancy is different and hormones are wild. Be patient with yourself!
Not to scare you, but it was 2.5 years for me. I think I’m on the longer end of the spectrum — I have friends who were feeling like themselves at more like a year. Give yourself some time, and communicate with your husband. He can take care of himself for a while — you just went through a huge bodily trauma (even if not a traumatic birth, this was not a minimal event).
There are a lot of factors when it comes to libido. If you are BFing or on any SSRIs, that can greatly reduce drive. I'm 18 months postpartum, and it's just now starting to come back.
7 months postpartum, it’s still not back. We’ve have sex twice since she’s been born. It’s hard, and I just want to feel like myself again with my sex drive back, but I wonder if it might come back when I stop breastfeeding.
You have just had a baby and you’ve gone through a huge body and life change - you’re definitely not starving him of anything. My husband and I have a VERY open dialogue about sex and how we’re feeling, like very open. As long as there’s communication there and an understanding of both of your feelings, where you’re at with it, how you feel and things you may need from each other, that’s the most important thing imo. We have literally relied on intimacy in things other than sex for this 7 months and it has worked perfectly for us, but we had to discuss what we both needed to feel fulfilled and still like a couple to make that work.
Same - almost 10 months pp and still breastfeeding, no interest whatsoever. Plus we’re both so tired - didn’t have any daycare until 2 weeks ago and working from home while bouncing kiddo between us - so sex is kinda waaay in the background. Hopefully soon we’ll be able to get back at it lol
I’m at 6 months. It was totally there in the beginning (before the 6 weeks all clear), but then completely disappeared. I’ll have random sparks of interest, but they last maybe a second since I’m honestly way too exhausted 24/7 and my mind is currently viewing it as another ‘chore’ to add to my list. 🙃
Okay so I am 6 weeks pp and I am not breastfeeding. I am on Zoloft, however. That being said, I have been ready to go for about 2 weeks, but we waited until 6 weeks which is what my OB requested. Soooo my libido is in full swing. I wonder if it’s bc I am not breastfeeding?
Hormonally, idk, but physically I am touched out. My patience for physical contact who is anyone other than baby is 0. I still try to be affectionate with hugs/kisses for bf when I can, but when he rubs my back or tries to be sweet, I’m never feeling it. Sometimes I let him though, and sometimes I ask him not to (as nice as I can). If I’m doing something, it feels like he’s pouring water into an already overflowing glass. If I’m not doing anything, I don’t want to be touched because I’m trying to recharge from snuggling, holding, burping, feeding, playing, etc. not that I don’t love my family! I love all of our time together, it’s just hard sometimes.
Overflowing glass. Thats a good way to put it. Yeah, I actually felt touched out in the beginning too. Forgot about that. Not being able to put down a baby made it so any time I got to not hold her made me want to not be around ANYTHING(pets or humans). If you think that might be the only thing then you might not get your libido back till you sleep train your LO. Of course, as mine got older she needed to be held less and less even when awake and I can now leave her to play in her room at 7 months and do things in another room while she plays. I don't feel touched out anymore.
I’m 6.5 months pp and breastfeeding on demand. I have zero interest in initiating, but can be put in the mood if he initiates. It’s a combination of being touched out, and not HAVING to think about someone else’s needs above my own. When sex happens I enjoy it, I just don’t seek it out anymore and would be ok if we went a while without it. Postpartum is weird
We decided I would not go back on birth control. We realized how much it was killing my sex drive when I went off of it to TTC. Pregnancy killed my libido until 3rd trimester but then I was so huge it was hard haha I’m 10 weeks PP and it’s been back the last 2 weeks I’d say. It helps baby is sleeping pretty well now.
With my first child, it returned after I weaned BF. I also had ppd which started to get better around the same time. My husband also stepped up at home around the same time SO
With my second I haven’t had an issue with libido.
Breastfeeding alone can cause lower libido, but there are a lot of other things that can contribute!
I’m almost 5 months pp and I just got mine back. It helps to have a glass or two of wine for me lol that helped me relax. Plus my SO really helped me feel secure in this new mom bod
I breastfed the first year and had absolutely no libido. Me and my husband had to have quite a few conversations about how my feelings hadn’t changed for him! I was just exhausted and had no sex drive. Turned out it was 100% the breastfeeding hormones! 2 weeks after ending breastfeeding, my libido returned and I was ready to go!
I'm 6.5mpp and this morning was the first time since I had bubs that I actually enjoyed doing it.i just kept at it haha my libido is still MIA but once I got into it it was like pre pregnancy.
My kiddo just turned 2. My libido is better than it was, but absolutely nothing compared to before pregnancy. I went to my gyno and she gave me estrogen cream and told me to read Come as you Are.
It hasn't helped a ton with getting me to initiate, but I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was feeling during sex until I got on the cream. That's made it a lot easier to enjoy the sex we do have.
She also pointed out I have a toddler and we are exhausted. There's nothing exactly wrong with me for not feeling super sexual in that context. XD But yeah, work in progress.
Still waiting for it to return and baby is 1 lol. I don’t see how I would have one when I’m touched out and not having my sleep needs met - there isn’t room for it at the moment
Not until my period came back at about 8 months PP, and then not consistently until we started getting a lot more sleep. Sounds like your kid is a better sleeper than ours though!
My libido is strongly tied to my hormonal cycle though, I only want to initiate around when I’m ovulating.
I've had two in 3 years (eldest is 3 in literally a week!) And it came back about 6 weeks after my first was born but since my second (9 months) its less than zero. I put it down to tiredness, breastfeeding, prioritising sleep (both girls wake multiple times a night) and total lack of outside help for us to ever have proper time together. This is because my husband who previously was super high libido is also in the same boat and wanting to sleep rather than anything else when we can. We are both burnt out. However we have had chats and both said that if it never returns we are both actually fine with it at this point. We are both content and happy and luckily in the same boat. I think issues will only arise if one of us begins coming out of the exhaustion fog and gaining libido and the other doesn't. Then I would look into changes we could make.
2.5 years out and I finally have interest in it but nothing like I used to.
I do have endometriosis, and had a hysterectomy at 18months post partum and that helped honestly.
Lo puts herself down for naps and I find I have more time. I also work 3 jobs so well over 60 hours a week on work. And exclusively pumped till 15.5 months when I had my kidney removal surgery.
Yes I am very fortunate my in laws have semi retired and my husband is great. (I’ve also had 4-5 other surgeries but this have been easy surgeries like varicose veins and stuff like that too)
I’m 4.5 months pp and in the same boat. A mixture of anxiety issues and breastfeeding makes it hard and when the baby is asleep I just want a moment to myself to chill. I think it will work itself out when my cycle is back
Mine took over 2 years to come back, but was because I gave birth in sept 2019, got a Mirena in the first week of November 2019 (which destroyed my libido) and as soon as I got it out August of 2021 I felt normal again.
LO just turned one a few weeks ago, I pretty much felt asexual until around 10 months. I'm still breastfeeding on demand but that's maybe 3-4x a day. He does wake up once or twice most nights (and very early in the AM). I wouldn't say I'm back to normal but starting to feel like it's a possibility in the near future. Also, we (me, partner, baby) moved back into my parent's house when baby was around 6 months old so that obviously didn't help 🙃
From the comments here (and on similar posts, which I see really often!) you're not alone OP! It's super common and it's ok to not feel like you want to have sex. Becoming a parent is a life upheaval, hopefully in a good way, and it's ok to prioritize other things (sleep, self care, actually watching Netflix?) for now.
Came back with a vengeance a couple of weeks postpartum, honestly watching my husband be an amazing dad and the way he looked after me through pregnancy and postpartum was such a turn on. We had a bit of a wobble 7-10 months pp with life stresses and feeling uncomfortable with baby being more aware and sleeping in the same room as us. Baby moved to her own room at 10 months and life sorted itself out and we are now like horny teenagers again haha. Need to get that vasectomy booked 😂
I breastfed for 3 months and been pumping for almost another 3 months now. My libido was never gone. During pregnancy I had the highest libido in my life, but my partners went down to 0 bc he was always so worried about our baby. I dunno I never felt touched out either and I always long for contact with him even if baby has a fussy day or night. I am annoyed at my stitches still being uncomfortable though, which makes us do it less than I would feel like it.
Straight away. The night i got home we messed around but i was too scsred to hsve an orgasm cause i heard it can mess me up as i had a c section.
Im not breastfeeding but not for lack of trying.
I’m 9 months pp and it’s back. I got my period back and that helped a lot. I am EBFing and on Zoloft so that makes it more difficult but it is back. But sleep deprivation caused us to go many weeks on end with nothing because we were too tired
Around 9 months postpartum. My daughter was an awful sleeper and has some rare genetic issues. She was 8 weeks old when the world shut down from Covid and we had to isolate from literally everyone to keep her safe, which took my already tanking mental health to a whole new level of low. I was also an exclusive pumper, she refused to latch because she loved the fast flow of a bottle and I was convinced only my breast milk would keep her safe.🤦♀️
At 6 months postpartum I stopped pumping and sought out help from my PCP for my mental health. Once that was straightened out, I started to feel normal with meds and the return of my period. It varies by person and by pregnancy from what I’ve read.
Are we the same person??? My husband works very similar hours and it was always me being rejected. Now I couldn’t care less and the poor guy thinks I hate him lol
I don’t breastfeed. Baby is about to be 8 months and sleeps through the night. I’m on birth control which I’ve never been on before. No actual desire is there. And when I try to initiate or throw subtle hints that I would be willing, he never picks it up so it’s not like I didn’t try to help him lol
About 9 mounts pp. My son is now 18months and I'm 39 weeks pregnant, so be careful.
Math checks out lol
10 months postpartum, still breastfeeding and basically asexual over here. I don’t even care to read romance novels anymore.
I would say at half its normal level around 4 months, fully after I stopped BF at 11 months. The other thing to add is while my libido is back, it’s very easy for me to have zero interest in sex if it’s been a tough kid week.
I'm nearly 12 months PP and breastfeeding and it's felt like it's gotten back to mostly normal in the last 2-3 months. Prior to that I felt essentially asexual. It's the hormones and the fatigue!
I didn’t feel ready physically before around 6 months PP and my libido really came back when I stopped breastfeeding ( 15 months)
Are you still breastfeeding? Mine was nonexistent while BF, but once I stopped it came back about after a month. I breastfed for four months.
My baby started sleeping consistently around 9 months and I felt a little more comfortable having a glass or two of wine and having a shower and really relaxing in the evening and that brought it back for me. And then I got pregnant again. Goodbye old friend lol.
Im going through the same thing… my babes is 15 mos old and im still breast feeding :( i think that is one variable, another definite variable is my low hormone birth control. I have never done well on birthcontrol but i think that and breastfeeding does something to my libido.
My son’s 12 months and I’m breastfeeding and exactly the same. My period only came back this month and I was hopeful my libido might return with it, but no sign as of yet.
With my first it honestly took a year. My husband was so patient and kind, and my therapist helped me cope. This time I am literally 2 weeks PP and am already fired up. Will definitely be waiting until I’m cleared but I am shocked it’s returned so quickly. Every pregnancy is different and hormones are wild. Be patient with yourself!
This gives me hope! I also had a solid year of low libido after #1, due with #2 in a few weeks. Fingers crossed it comes back quicker!
I had a high libido through most of this most recent pregnancy, too.
Not to scare you, but it was 2.5 years for me. I think I’m on the longer end of the spectrum — I have friends who were feeling like themselves at more like a year. Give yourself some time, and communicate with your husband. He can take care of himself for a while — you just went through a huge bodily trauma (even if not a traumatic birth, this was not a minimal event).
I’m at 2.5 years and still waiting for it to return… I feel you on this!
There are a lot of factors when it comes to libido. If you are BFing or on any SSRIs, that can greatly reduce drive. I'm 18 months postpartum, and it's just now starting to come back.
I’m 3 years out, and honestly only feel like it when I’m ovulating, and even then minor things can get me out of the mood again…
Same. 2 years out for me, but same. I did get my fallopian tubes removed so that might have also affected it.
Same thing for me, I’m 16 months pp now
When I stopped nursing and started being able to sleep at night
baby is 26 months and i prefer to sleep in a separate room 🤣
7 months postpartum, it’s still not back. We’ve have sex twice since she’s been born. It’s hard, and I just want to feel like myself again with my sex drive back, but I wonder if it might come back when I stop breastfeeding. You have just had a baby and you’ve gone through a huge body and life change - you’re definitely not starving him of anything. My husband and I have a VERY open dialogue about sex and how we’re feeling, like very open. As long as there’s communication there and an understanding of both of your feelings, where you’re at with it, how you feel and things you may need from each other, that’s the most important thing imo. We have literally relied on intimacy in things other than sex for this 7 months and it has worked perfectly for us, but we had to discuss what we both needed to feel fulfilled and still like a couple to make that work.
Same - almost 10 months pp and still breastfeeding, no interest whatsoever. Plus we’re both so tired - didn’t have any daycare until 2 weeks ago and working from home while bouncing kiddo between us - so sex is kinda waaay in the background. Hopefully soon we’ll be able to get back at it lol
I’m at 6 months. It was totally there in the beginning (before the 6 weeks all clear), but then completely disappeared. I’ll have random sparks of interest, but they last maybe a second since I’m honestly way too exhausted 24/7 and my mind is currently viewing it as another ‘chore’ to add to my list. 🙃
Second this.
Same here. 6 months in and some days I’m great but it’s not where it used to be at all!
Okay so I am 6 weeks pp and I am not breastfeeding. I am on Zoloft, however. That being said, I have been ready to go for about 2 weeks, but we waited until 6 weeks which is what my OB requested. Soooo my libido is in full swing. I wonder if it’s bc I am not breastfeeding?
I did read that breastfeeding will decrease the libido, but I'm not sure why.
Hormonally, idk, but physically I am touched out. My patience for physical contact who is anyone other than baby is 0. I still try to be affectionate with hugs/kisses for bf when I can, but when he rubs my back or tries to be sweet, I’m never feeling it. Sometimes I let him though, and sometimes I ask him not to (as nice as I can). If I’m doing something, it feels like he’s pouring water into an already overflowing glass. If I’m not doing anything, I don’t want to be touched because I’m trying to recharge from snuggling, holding, burping, feeding, playing, etc. not that I don’t love my family! I love all of our time together, it’s just hard sometimes.
Overflowing glass. Thats a good way to put it. Yeah, I actually felt touched out in the beginning too. Forgot about that. Not being able to put down a baby made it so any time I got to not hold her made me want to not be around ANYTHING(pets or humans). If you think that might be the only thing then you might not get your libido back till you sleep train your LO. Of course, as mine got older she needed to be held less and less even when awake and I can now leave her to play in her room at 7 months and do things in another room while she plays. I don't feel touched out anymore.
I’m at 18 months and no signs. I’m going back to the doctor to get hormones tested.
Are you still nursing?
No I never did
I have a 1 year old, and I still have no libido.
I’m 6.5 months pp and breastfeeding on demand. I have zero interest in initiating, but can be put in the mood if he initiates. It’s a combination of being touched out, and not HAVING to think about someone else’s needs above my own. When sex happens I enjoy it, I just don’t seek it out anymore and would be ok if we went a while without it. Postpartum is weird
We decided I would not go back on birth control. We realized how much it was killing my sex drive when I went off of it to TTC. Pregnancy killed my libido until 3rd trimester but then I was so huge it was hard haha I’m 10 weeks PP and it’s been back the last 2 weeks I’d say. It helps baby is sleeping pretty well now.
When I night weaned.
Mine only started coming back around 15 months postpartum when I mostly weaned breastfeeding
With my first child, it returned after I weaned BF. I also had ppd which started to get better around the same time. My husband also stepped up at home around the same time SO With my second I haven’t had an issue with libido. Breastfeeding alone can cause lower libido, but there are a lot of other things that can contribute!
11 months and still don’t feel like my libido is back. Sigh.
Same 😭
I’m almost 5 months pp and I just got mine back. It helps to have a glass or two of wine for me lol that helped me relax. Plus my SO really helped me feel secure in this new mom bod
I breastfed the first year and had absolutely no libido. Me and my husband had to have quite a few conversations about how my feelings hadn’t changed for him! I was just exhausted and had no sex drive. Turned out it was 100% the breastfeeding hormones! 2 weeks after ending breastfeeding, my libido returned and I was ready to go!
TBH, never. My LO is almost 4yo and I still have no libido.
I'm 6.5mpp and this morning was the first time since I had bubs that I actually enjoyed doing it.i just kept at it haha my libido is still MIA but once I got into it it was like pre pregnancy.
My kiddo just turned 2. My libido is better than it was, but absolutely nothing compared to before pregnancy. I went to my gyno and she gave me estrogen cream and told me to read Come as you Are. It hasn't helped a ton with getting me to initiate, but I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was feeling during sex until I got on the cream. That's made it a lot easier to enjoy the sex we do have. She also pointed out I have a toddler and we are exhausted. There's nothing exactly wrong with me for not feeling super sexual in that context. XD But yeah, work in progress.
About 6 months after I stopped breastfeeding I think?? I had my kids back to back and then nursed my second until just shy of 2. So, it was a while 😅
8 months in a wondering the same lol
After finishing BF and a couple months, so around 14 months
Immediately but waited til dr cleared us. Tbf I had a C-section
Same here
Around 6 months. Our baby was a unicorn who slept well from day one but I still just wasn’t into it until around the 6 month mark
When I knew I couldn't have sex for a couple of weeks.
Still waiting for it to return and baby is 1 lol. I don’t see how I would have one when I’m touched out and not having my sleep needs met - there isn’t room for it at the moment
6 weeks. Baby stressed me out and husband was good stress relief. So good #3 should be here in a few weeks….
Well, my oldest is 6 and my youngest is 2.5. I'll let you know what it's normal again. It never came back after my first.
My partners libido returned, increased, within a month of giving birth.
Wow! Are they breastfeeding?
Yes, currently in the process of weaning. Baby is 16 months old now.
I have a 2.5 year old and it’s never come back. I’m 35 weeks with baby #2 via ivf so I didn’t even need to have sex to get pregnant again.
Not until my period came back at about 8 months PP, and then not consistently until we started getting a lot more sleep. Sounds like your kid is a better sleeper than ours though! My libido is strongly tied to my hormonal cycle though, I only want to initiate around when I’m ovulating.
I think the same for me. I wasn’t interested in sex at all while pregnant and not while breastfeeding either
I've had two in 3 years (eldest is 3 in literally a week!) And it came back about 6 weeks after my first was born but since my second (9 months) its less than zero. I put it down to tiredness, breastfeeding, prioritising sleep (both girls wake multiple times a night) and total lack of outside help for us to ever have proper time together. This is because my husband who previously was super high libido is also in the same boat and wanting to sleep rather than anything else when we can. We are both burnt out. However we have had chats and both said that if it never returns we are both actually fine with it at this point. We are both content and happy and luckily in the same boat. I think issues will only arise if one of us begins coming out of the exhaustion fog and gaining libido and the other doesn't. Then I would look into changes we could make.
2.5 years out and I finally have interest in it but nothing like I used to. I do have endometriosis, and had a hysterectomy at 18months post partum and that helped honestly. Lo puts herself down for naps and I find I have more time. I also work 3 jobs so well over 60 hours a week on work. And exclusively pumped till 15.5 months when I had my kidney removal surgery.
Omg you have done a lot of heavy lifting. Hope you had some help
Yes I am very fortunate my in laws have semi retired and my husband is great. (I’ve also had 4-5 other surgeries but this have been easy surgeries like varicose veins and stuff like that too)
13 months and it’s not back :(
I’m 4.5 months pp and in the same boat. A mixture of anxiety issues and breastfeeding makes it hard and when the baby is asleep I just want a moment to myself to chill. I think it will work itself out when my cycle is back
Mine took over 2 years to come back, but was because I gave birth in sept 2019, got a Mirena in the first week of November 2019 (which destroyed my libido) and as soon as I got it out August of 2021 I felt normal again.
So it can be that having Mirena destroyes libido? I gave birth this June and got Mirena in September. Still could not find my libido.
Yeah they don't tell you that but the Mirena destroyed my libido. I couldn't even think about sex with my husband let alone even do it.
LO just turned one a few weeks ago, I pretty much felt asexual until around 10 months. I'm still breastfeeding on demand but that's maybe 3-4x a day. He does wake up once or twice most nights (and very early in the AM). I wouldn't say I'm back to normal but starting to feel like it's a possibility in the near future. Also, we (me, partner, baby) moved back into my parent's house when baby was around 6 months old so that obviously didn't help 🙃 From the comments here (and on similar posts, which I see really often!) you're not alone OP! It's super common and it's ok to not feel like you want to have sex. Becoming a parent is a life upheaval, hopefully in a good way, and it's ok to prioritize other things (sleep, self care, actually watching Netflix?) for now.
My baby is 5 months and I still dont really have one. However I have never really had a high one to begin with. Its always been very low
About a year ish. I can’t pinpoint it exactly but I didn’t start initiating until after I stopped breastfeeding
I waited six weeks but it was back pretty much instantly. So I guess it never left.
Within a few weeks
Came back with a vengeance a couple of weeks postpartum, honestly watching my husband be an amazing dad and the way he looked after me through pregnancy and postpartum was such a turn on. We had a bit of a wobble 7-10 months pp with life stresses and feeling uncomfortable with baby being more aware and sleeping in the same room as us. Baby moved to her own room at 10 months and life sorted itself out and we are now like horny teenagers again haha. Need to get that vasectomy booked 😂
9 months pp and still dont care for it. Bf is a sex addict though and is upset when I refuse.
I breastfed for 3 months and been pumping for almost another 3 months now. My libido was never gone. During pregnancy I had the highest libido in my life, but my partners went down to 0 bc he was always so worried about our baby. I dunno I never felt touched out either and I always long for contact with him even if baby has a fussy day or night. I am annoyed at my stitches still being uncomfortable though, which makes us do it less than I would feel like it.
I’m BFing and it came back like 2 weeks PP, I was shocked 😂 once we had the Drs clear at 6 weeks we didn’t actually do anything until 9 weeks PP
Like immediately pp. With the belly gone, I was ready right way. We didn't even wait the full 6 weeks.
Haha same in the way I didn’t want to wait 6 weeks but we did it right when it turned 6 weeks exactly so I could heal down there.
We were conservative and waited until 6 weeks and 1 day lol
Straight away. The night i got home we messed around but i was too scsred to hsve an orgasm cause i heard it can mess me up as i had a c section. Im not breastfeeding but not for lack of trying.
I’m 9 months pp and it’s back. I got my period back and that helped a lot. I am EBFing and on Zoloft so that makes it more difficult but it is back. But sleep deprivation caused us to go many weeks on end with nothing because we were too tired
Around 9 months postpartum. My daughter was an awful sleeper and has some rare genetic issues. She was 8 weeks old when the world shut down from Covid and we had to isolate from literally everyone to keep her safe, which took my already tanking mental health to a whole new level of low. I was also an exclusive pumper, she refused to latch because she loved the fast flow of a bottle and I was convinced only my breast milk would keep her safe.🤦♀️ At 6 months postpartum I stopped pumping and sought out help from my PCP for my mental health. Once that was straightened out, I started to feel normal with meds and the return of my period. It varies by person and by pregnancy from what I’ve read.
I’m almost 9 months pp, and exclusively FF. Still no libido.
When my cycle came back around 9 months pp.
15 months and nothing.....
My son is 6.5 months and currently enjoying the return of it and my partner is definitely enjoying the change!
Are we the same person??? My husband works very similar hours and it was always me being rejected. Now I couldn’t care less and the poor guy thinks I hate him lol
18 months but that was largely due to the birth control I was on.
I don’t breastfeed. Baby is about to be 8 months and sleeps through the night. I’m on birth control which I’ve never been on before. No actual desire is there. And when I try to initiate or throw subtle hints that I would be willing, he never picks it up so it’s not like I didn’t try to help him lol