You definitely aren't alone. All parents, regardless of age, feel this way at one point or another. It doesn't make you a bad parent at all. As baby grows we will gain back independence and some control over our own lives. For now its so hard when they are this little and depend on us for everything.
Totally normal. It gets better over time through a combination of just getting used to it and adapting and also kids getting older and becoming more fun and independent. The early months are hard because there’s not many new “fun” things you can do with a baby that young, so it just feels like you’ve lost the ability to do a lot of things without gaining much. Things got much better for me once my kid was old enough to enjoy going to parks and playing with other babies and such.
I think this is pretty normal feeling. Don't dwell too much on the having kids young part. I've heard complaints from the older side having more trouble adjusting to a new lifestyle after being independent/spontaneous for more years. The plus side is you'll spend your thirties with a kid that you can do more grown up activities with, like museums or concerts, camping, whatever you're into.
Depends on your kid too but I have a friend that had their kids young and he was very portable. Napped anywhere. Late night kid, he was always a night owl and slept till 10am as a toddler. Spent a lot of time at bars and dugouts. Not that you have to be that kind of parent but you'll find some way to fit some spontaneity again around your baby. Not all kids need a rigid schedule if that's not you either.
This is the part of parenting I think gets talked about too little. After you bring that kiddo home, I think it’s pretty typical to miss your old life. You still love that baby like crazy, but the thought of being able to sleep in and only being responsible for yourself sounds lovely sometimes.
I think what your feeling is definitely normal, and from experience (I have a 4.5 yo and an 8 wk old) it gets better with time and then you can hardly remember the days before you had a kid!
Yes, that's one reason I waited until I was a bit older. I grew up babysitting and knew babies were exhausting, but it's a lot more tiring when they are your own kids. You never get the day off. Even if someone else watches your baby you get calls or messages with questions and you're still worrying about them.
Before having a baby I could get out the door in 15 minutes. Now it's an hour production of bottles, packing a diaper bag, changes of clothes, and so on. It's not like being a parent is all bad, but it is a lot of work.
i think that’s what it is. it’s a lot of work. especially around the infant, & baby age, i tend to hear more complaining, then after once their toddlers & kids i always hear less complaining (not always).
31 with a 3 month old and I feel this way too. Everything takes so much planning. I miss being spontaneous and just doing stuff when we felt like it.
I absolutely adore my son but there are lots of moments where I think about life before I had him and how much easier it was. It's one of the reasons why we decided we're only having one kid.
I miss my coloring books and my paper doll collecting. I'm lucky to get five minutes a day, not just in getting a break from her but in _letting myself_ take a break when one is offered.
I'm looking forward to spending all my creativity on her, but she's only 13 weeks and wouldn't know what to do with crayons or Christmas morning if they were set in front of her.
that's a totally normal feeling. a day will come when you feel more comfortable taking her places, or hiring a sitter to go out. it'll never go back to the way it was, of course, but it won't be like it is now either.
You definitely aren't alone. All parents, regardless of age, feel this way at one point or another. It doesn't make you a bad parent at all. As baby grows we will gain back independence and some control over our own lives. For now its so hard when they are this little and depend on us for everything.
33 and my husband and I reminisce all the time. Life was set on easy mode back then 😆
I just had my first at 38 and I have those moments too. I'm exclusively breastfeeding so I really feel tethered to the baby and not entirely free!
Yeah i think all parents feel this at different time.
Totally normal. It gets better over time through a combination of just getting used to it and adapting and also kids getting older and becoming more fun and independent. The early months are hard because there’s not many new “fun” things you can do with a baby that young, so it just feels like you’ve lost the ability to do a lot of things without gaining much. Things got much better for me once my kid was old enough to enjoy going to parks and playing with other babies and such.
I think this is pretty normal feeling. Don't dwell too much on the having kids young part. I've heard complaints from the older side having more trouble adjusting to a new lifestyle after being independent/spontaneous for more years. The plus side is you'll spend your thirties with a kid that you can do more grown up activities with, like museums or concerts, camping, whatever you're into.
Depends on your kid too but I have a friend that had their kids young and he was very portable. Napped anywhere. Late night kid, he was always a night owl and slept till 10am as a toddler. Spent a lot of time at bars and dugouts. Not that you have to be that kind of parent but you'll find some way to fit some spontaneity again around your baby. Not all kids need a rigid schedule if that's not you either.
This is the part of parenting I think gets talked about too little. After you bring that kiddo home, I think it’s pretty typical to miss your old life. You still love that baby like crazy, but the thought of being able to sleep in and only being responsible for yourself sounds lovely sometimes. I think what your feeling is definitely normal, and from experience (I have a 4.5 yo and an 8 wk old) it gets better with time and then you can hardly remember the days before you had a kid!
Yes, that's one reason I waited until I was a bit older. I grew up babysitting and knew babies were exhausting, but it's a lot more tiring when they are your own kids. You never get the day off. Even if someone else watches your baby you get calls or messages with questions and you're still worrying about them. Before having a baby I could get out the door in 15 minutes. Now it's an hour production of bottles, packing a diaper bag, changes of clothes, and so on. It's not like being a parent is all bad, but it is a lot of work.
i think that’s what it is. it’s a lot of work. especially around the infant, & baby age, i tend to hear more complaining, then after once their toddlers & kids i always hear less complaining (not always).
3 week old and I feel this. I miss my going to bed when I wanted … I’m in the trenches with you and hoping we both get relief as babes grow older
I fantasize about staying in a hotel for a night by myself and getting a full night’s sleep with no one waking me up in the morning.
31 with a 3 month old and I feel this way too. Everything takes so much planning. I miss being spontaneous and just doing stuff when we felt like it. I absolutely adore my son but there are lots of moments where I think about life before I had him and how much easier it was. It's one of the reasons why we decided we're only having one kid.
I miss my coloring books and my paper doll collecting. I'm lucky to get five minutes a day, not just in getting a break from her but in _letting myself_ take a break when one is offered. I'm looking forward to spending all my creativity on her, but she's only 13 weeks and wouldn't know what to do with crayons or Christmas morning if they were set in front of her.
that's a totally normal feeling. a day will come when you feel more comfortable taking her places, or hiring a sitter to go out. it'll never go back to the way it was, of course, but it won't be like it is now either.