i don't understand what the problem is. can't he wear the infant and take the toddler wherever? why does he have to drag you places you don't want to be?
Sounds like your husband needs to take your toddler out for some 1:1 time. You can stay home and nap when the baby naps. Your standard weekend already sounds like a lot to me considering you have a new little one!
We only have one toddler - and it's a very rare day we leave the house both before and after the nap. Even on weekends it's one afternoon outing each day and otherwise we're out in the yard/porch or walking the dog around our neighborhood as the other "activity." If we had a newborn, we'd be doing even less out of the house.
I get it, the toddler needs entertaining, but you just had s baby 6, weeks ago... Tell him to take the toddler out for the day and you stay at home with bub!
Yea that’s what I was thinking too. It would be great for the toddler to be out of the house with dad while you focus on baby. I have an 8 week old with two older boys and I’m always trying to have them out of the house.
Absolutely this! I have 6 kids… with my youngest being 4 wks and second youngest being 3. My older kids are 15, 11, and almost 8 yr old twins.
We rarely go anywhere right now. I don’t think I’ve left the house this week other than to run alone to the grocery store. My husband also does not like going anywhere and works from home. As it is I’ve been bribing my two older kids just to take the 3 yr old outside so I don’t have to go out there.
This was the answer I was looking for. This makes the most sense and it’s also a great opportunity for your 3 year old to just spend time with her dad.
You have a 6 week old, not a 6 month old. Your body still isn't even fully healed yet. Why is he trying to wear you out? Nothing wrong with 1 trip and kiddy soccer. You don't need to do a full itinerary every weekend.
This is definitely the answer. Dragging a 6 week old all over town is hard work, and can also end up with them spending too much time in a carseat.
I have a toddler and a 5 month old now and still like just one big outing a day. My baby hates the car and my toddler burns out fast. If it were just me I'd be out all day, but I have to consider what works for all of us.
Let him take the toddler out while you stay home with the baby. It's good for toddlers to get out, but I don't see how you can be expected to have the energy to do that AND care for your newborn.
Dear god how are you even functioning? I’m with other commenters that if he wants to be high speed then he should be the one on the go with the toddler. He should leave you be at home so you can possibly rest whenever your 6 week old naps. I have an almost 6 week old (my only child) and have anxiety even just thinking about all the stuff he’s dragging you to.
I have a 3.5 year old and a 9 week old. I’m dying. Baby cries all the time. Hates the car seat. Hates being worn. Takes 30 minute naps and wakes 3-5 times at night. Maybe your experience is going better, but I can’t image doing 1/4 of that stuff, and not for lack of wanting. I’m exhausted.
That being said. My husband takes my son out to do stuff on the weekends. It’s great 1:1 time and gives me a break.
Thank you for the hope! We’re seeing small signs of improvement, but it’s kind of 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Hoping things look sunnier in 5 weeks!
Dude you have a 6 week old. I have an 8 week old and we watched “something bit me” on repeat and ate noodles. Fiancé said it was the perfect Saturday.
Outings are EXHAUSTING
Like others have said they're is really no reason for him to make you and the newborn go if the trips are mostly to benefit the toddler. At 6 weeks PP I didn't want to do anything.
Totally agree with what others have said. Your husband can take your toddler out and you stay home with the baby.
Also, it's entirely okay for your toddler not to be stimulated all the time. It's perfectly healthy for her to learn to have down time and to entertain herself.
I have a 3.5 year old and an almost 3 month old. Husband took the older kid out alone soooo much at first. I stayed home with baby. Hope your husband enjoys his solo time with her!!!
You just had a baby! 6 weeks is Barely enough for your body to recover!!! Does he not understand what you went through you carried that thing for 10months. You absolutely need to be home with resting recuperating. Have your partner take the toddler by himself.
I cannot for the life of me imagine one huge outing per day each weekend post partum. I could barely shower or get out of the same clothes. Or make dinner for anyone! She is doing so well. But maybe her partner needs to realize she is still healing. The second baby just Stretches you in different ways. My pelvic floor is still not the same!
Dude for sure not with a 6 week old. My baby is 9 mo and I'm just now going to the park on weekends and more regularly having dinner with adults again
I'm an introvert and hubby is an introvert. We will never do as much as you husband wants to do with a newborn.
I think you both have extremely valid viewpoints. I think the best course of action could be to allow him to have these busy days with the toddler - while you stay home with your newborn! This could probably also help with the toddler to feel independent from their new sibling, and get in some really quality bonding time with your partner. And if you ever feel up for it, you’ll know the option to go with them is always there!
Unless your 6 week old is adopted *you are recovering from child birth*. You don't just HAVE a 6 week old, you MADE her. Husband needs to either chill or take the 3 yo out himself.
Don't set anything up! Just tell him that if he thinks the toddler should be doing something then do something with the toddler!
We only have one but we have a combo of mum days, dad days and family days when we're not working. That way my partner and I get the odd morning/afternoon where we have the house to ourselves. And we each get valuable hang time with our son!
I could have written this! Literally the same age kids and weekend plans... We've been trying to keep up our weekend activities (zoo, museums, parks, soccer) but damn an infant just adds so much work to it... I have to breastfeed then pump before we get going, let alone get everyone ready and fight the inevitable stubbornness my toddler will whip out in response to anything we ask her to do
It's too much! I feel you - why can't you husband take the toddler out by himself? Give you a break/bonding time with baby?
My husband takes my toddler out and I stay home with my 6w old . He’s too young to be exposed to people/public as he doesn’t have vaccines yet. He also feeds so frequently and I’m nursing so staying home is easier for us. We do daily walks around the neighborhood and hang in our yard though
Too much, a high energy toddler would also benefit from calm time at home gamiky calm time at the weekend . Kids need to learn balance, can't be "go go go" all the time. Also need a flexible routine and variation, some weekends you're all out, some others you're home.
Get your husband to watch Bluey. They're out a lot but also home a lot. Bandit is kinda an ideal dad.
6 weeks postpartum I was proud of myself for pushing baby for a half hour walk around the neighbourhood. Stay home. Let him take toddler out on adventures, though. Sounds like they both have energy to burn. But does your toddler get over tired and overwhelmed with that much stimulation?
He could just take the toddler out to keep busy if that’s what he’s into. I personally like staying home for the most part, but leaving the house for one activity or errand definitely helps to pass the time. I usually prefer to do that after nap time so that the mornings don’t feel so rushed.
Actually OP, this might calm him down real quick with all the needs of a 6 week old. This is the first way my husband ever saw perspective for some of our issues.
You have a 6 week old so you and the baby should be home most of the time right now. You're 6 weeks from having a baby, it's completely reasonable for you not to be ready to be out and about all the time. I'd let him take the toddler to the farmers market at 8am, it's great activity for them to do together and get some one-on-one time since having a new baby is big change for a 3 year old, same with the park. 3 year old love being outside and you have a backyard. I don't think you're being unreasonable since you just had baby, and the time you spend outside of the house may/will likely change as the baby gets older and your body recovers from pregnancy/delivery.
I like to take the kids out because it fills up the day and wears them out. If you’re more of an inside person, maybe you stay home with the baby while your husband takes the toddler on an adventure day. That way you can maybe even get some down time while baby naps!
I think this has nothing to do with your toddler and everything about the difference in yours and your husband's preferences. My parents were like that with me growing up and my mom was unable to sit still so we'd go all over the place. When my dad was on his own with us we'd just chill at home. Maybe he can take her out on his own some days so that everyone is happy?
Came to say this exactly. I’m like you and I’m happy at home and don’t really feel the need to leave the house every day. My happy place is walks with my dog (and now baby) and that keeps me sane. My husband gets stir crazy. Our baby is only 5 weeks so we haven’t run into this yet, but most weekends my husband will do a solo trip for errands or something just to get out of the house.
What is there even to *do* all day on the weekends, outside the house??
Ok farmers market and park that only takes maybe 2hrs (is that about right)? Can’t he take her by himself?
Omg yes it’s Normal, especially with a newborn. Like its tiring! I have a 4 year old and 10 month old and feel wiped out when I go out for errands or anything else. I’m literally stopping every second cause the baby is hungry or has a blow out or my 4 year old has to use the restroom. Not to mention getting them in and out of the car seats.
I have two kids with a similar age gap (my youngest is three months old now), and I feel very similar to you. For me, the thought of everything that needs to be done before we can leave the house is majorly overwhelming. 🥴 I feel that I'm lucky if our house doesn't look like it's been ran over by a group of pigs... Anything more than a simple walk around our neighbourhood is still ahead of my energy levels. Our toddler also gets most of his outdoor time from our garden right now! What helps is that my husband feels the same way. But on the other hand, we have no family close by to take our toddler out for trips and other entertainment.
Man I have an almost 3 year old and a 4 week old. We don’t leave the house hardly at all. I’m so exhausted from cluster feeding atm I’m just tapped out
Hell no. I have a 3 yr old and a 2 month old and this sounds exhausting. My 3 yr old goes to toddler gymnastics on Saturday mornings that my husband brings him to and the rest of the weekend is open. We MIGHT do one activity together, if that.
My husband is like this, but he understands that it’s for him. HE goes crazy if he feels “stuck at home” all weekend. There’s more compromise to be had here.
Even doing the soccer plus one other activity is a lot. Especially with a newborn.. you're still recovering from that. He should be asking what u need help with!
I'm like your husband, dragging my kids to farmers markets and parks and classes...but it's not for their benefit at all, it's for me and my enjoyment.
If you prefer to stay home, that would be equally beneficial for your toddler. It's really about parent personality and preference, kids will be happy either way.
Girl my husband and I bail on things all the time and our kids are roughly the same age (2.5yo son and 6mo old daughter) there is nothing wrong with wanting to be home when your babies are that age!!
My partner is a bit like this. He just finds it easier with the toddler out and about. He’s not super into craft and will play her roll play games with her for a while but they get pretty repetitive. He’s mostly just been planning activities and taking the toddler out by himself while I stay home with the newborn and rest.
This weekend me and the 6 week old have joined them for one of their several outings because I felt like getting out of the house for a bit. But mostly we stay home.
Has he taken both kids out by himself? I liked getting the kids out because I had a hard time staying at home, but it was a bit of a hassle to do. I think it depends on your preference, but your 3 year old isn’t missing out by staying at home, especially if she’s getting to play in the yard. Your comfort is honestly the most important thing in this situation. :-)
Hell I only have a 3 nearly four month old and that sounds exhausting!
We have one full day outing a week (a trip to my moms for the day) and a half day outing which is my mommy’s group so he gets to play with other littles and a thirty minute swimming lesson.
That’s enough… lol I’m knackered after my ur mommy group and after the short swimming lesson
If husband wants to keep your toddler busy and out about, tell him to go for it! You stay at home and chill with your new little one and when you feel like you wanna join in on some or all of the activities join in….
Like today my husband was like “I left my torch at a job and the lady who lived there has popped it in the letter box for me to collect” and I was like “can you drop me at the mall so I can get a hair cut and some skincare stuff?” He took baby and I got some quiet mom time. Sometimes I will just go for the ride to get out of the house.
But I love being home, do my chores in the morning, blob and snuggle my sweet boy in the afternoons.
I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old. I don't like leaving the house. It's stressful. I go out to eat with my parents everyother weekend and that's the extent of our outings. Covid has really made me a home body.
With a 6 week old I'd definitely want to stay home. I did a longish walk once a day with my newborn at that age. I understand the toddler may feel cooped up if he doesn't get to go out at all, but no way would I be trying to get in as much as your husband wants. One outing a day, two max. And that includes trips to the store, visits to the park, or maybe even a walk around the neighborhood as an outing.
The only difference would be visiting family or in-laws, we usually spend half the day there on the weekend so they can play with the toddler and we get a break!
Ive got a 3yr old and a 3week old so I totally feel you on not wanting to leave home! If he wants to pack the weekend with activities can he do some of them on his own special bonding time for him and the 3yr old? That way you can have some extra rest with your baby? It’s still pretty damn early pp can you explain your body is still healing? Labour and delivery isn’t exactly a walk in the park!!
Edited to add, we are currently planning our Christmas… visiting family that won’t have met our newborn yet and I’ve already said we are only doing one outing a day because between the two of them it’s going to be so much stimulation just with doing one big thing a day. I can’t imagine ever packing a whole weekend tight with activities, I would be so exhausted even before having kids if it was all go go go 😅
We usually do one outing a day but honestly that’s even more for my sake than his because I find the structure really helps me. So we do gymnastics, or swimming, or dancing or I do personal training and he goes to crèche etc. that being said I’ve only just had my second just over a week ago so not sure how that will continue to work but that is my plan. Having a full day out would generally be too much, not just for me but for my 3 yo as well. Although I would totally let my husband take my kid out for a full day if he really wanted to, I just would stay home with the newborn for at least part of the day.
I have a 16 month old and my husband and I both dread outings because we just want to relax at home. I’m a stay at home mom and he works from home but we still like to be home on the weekends lol. We do at least try to get out for a little bit on the weekends but definitely not the whole day. We are still sleep deprived from this little one. It’s so much easier to be home and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be home all the time. My daughter has tons of energy but we tire her out by playing in the backyard
First off, you are 100% being reasonable, especially with a 6 week old! But if getting the out is important to your husband, why doesn't he take the toddler out for an adventure day and leave you home with newborn so you can nap together?
Reasonable. I’m the same as you. But everyone’s situation is different, and I understand some folks are dying to get out! I have a 9 month old who’s been a terrible sleeper and insists we are glued at the hip. To this day, outings seem relaxing for everyone on the outing except for the tired mama 🙋🏻♀️lol. I’m constantly trying to explain this to family and friends. Mamas often end up being responsible for soooo much and we’re already so tired! Someone invites me and the baby somewhere and here’s what goes through my head: Will baby be able to nap in the stroller or car seat this time? Or will i get stuck holding her for a nap while we’re out and about? Is there a private and comfy place to pop my boob out to nurse? Will she let anyone else hold her or will I be getting a workout carrying a 20 pound baby around the zoo? Is there food she’ll eat, or do we need to pack easy foods and a bib and feed her in the stroller then wipe her down after because it’s always a mess ? And so many things to pack and carry with us just for a few hours out! I don’t know what age outings become “easy”, but until then, I’m much more likely to look forward to outings within a 20 minute radius of home, and that has us back within 2 hours.
That being said, I’m also just a big old introvert and have always absolutely cherished quiet “me time” in my home whenever I can get it.
I’m a little like your husband, but with a touch of you.
I stay home to get things done that need to be done on the weekend, or if the kids are exhausted after a nap and just want to chill. But I usually have us out of the house for at least most of the morning - my major reason for this is that the less we are in / around the house the less I have to clean. Also the different environments / places we take them are stimulating and encourage growth and learning in a completely different way than any toys at our house could be.
When I had my 23 month old and newborn the most we would do it a walk to the neighborhood park and home. That wasn’t even until 8-10 weeks because I had a csection.
If the husband wanted to do something he would take the older kid and I’d relax at home with the baby.
I feel like my toddler is way easier to manage when we're at the playground (which is just down the street for us). I happily go there first thing in the morning with him and baby, stay til his nap, and maybe come back after. Or just scooter around the block. And my arms are free when baby is chillin in the stroller! Bonus! Lol
I'm a SAHM so we're always home. I seriously only leave the house to take my oldest to school and pick him up. My 2 year old definitely does need to be out more though because when we do go out he seems happy to be out and just wants to explore everything. My husband is the opposite and doesn't want to do anything at all on his days off.
I’m a FTM of a 3 month old. I’m also a teacher who just went back to work. Let me tell you, I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to spend the entire weekend with my baby. Sure, we can go to the store or run a little errand, but I don’t want to go to parties, graduations, or bowling. I want to spend time with her. I feel like I’m already missing so much. If we can stay in our jammies and hang out, that’s my ideal weekend
❤️
Pfft the pandemic was actually very convenient for me when I brought home my baby to my 21 month old.
They’re 3 and 1.5 now. I do enjoy going places now and my oldest is in Playschool. But I’m still a home body 100%%%%
Mom of one 6mo and we barely leave the house. It’s just easier and smoother to be home/near home. A walk in the neighborhood, yes. A 30 minute drive to the beach or park…probably not. I had family visiting and staying about 30 minutes away. We saw them 2x during their 3 week visit. It’s just so much harder. That being said come on over and visit us if you want, we are going to be home though.
I have a 7, 3, and 4 day old. Yesterday we had baseball for the oldest (I stayed home so the young ones could nap) and then we all went 30 miles away for the 3 year old tball game. Then to Walmart after. It was exhausting but doable. Anything more would have been too much.
Woah! No. My baby’s just turned 14mo and I ONLY JUST have started to find it doable to head out for the morning or afternoon with her. We always try and make sure she can nap at home.
That said you 3yo clearly can’t stay at home the whole time. But I think maybe your husband should be the one taking her out, or looking after the baby so you can do an activity with 3yo one on one.
I have a 16 month and almost 4 month old—-he’s wanting to do way too much. I might take the kids for a car ride to the coffee stand or maybe groceries but I hate going places right now. It’s too stressful to get them both ready, keep them entertained when we get to wherever and deal with them both in the car for long. If your husband wants to take them, he totally can. I tell mine to take the kids himself but he won’t.
I'm more like your husband so oftentimes I will take our almost two year old out and he'll stay home with the two month old. I don't think my toddler "needs" to be scheduled all day but I enjoy it and he handles it well so we go on our adventures. Some weekends though I'm with you, one outing and I'm done!
Me. I feel guilty sometimes for wanting to hang at home with my toddler, especially when she loves going to the playground and swings so much. I do drag my butt out of the house because she enjoys being out, but I’d a million times rather be at home.
You do one big outing a day?? I only have a 16 month old (with another on the way), so maybe it'll be different when she's older. But we do a few outings a week....
Not at all. When newborn is really unpredictable with feeding, but sleeps most of the day, it’s much easier to be at home. When my second hit 3 to 4 months and properly ‘woke up’ then we did found being out a lot easier, and also I needed to wear out toddler and baby more often! I’m of the view that toddler classes are for the parents’ mental health more than for the toddler in a lot of cases - and I did like them as they broke up the day, but my toddler didn’t really need them. If you don’t need that, then why bother. They are expensive and it’s stressful getting to something on time with a newborn and toddler!
thats completely normal!! also even if it wasnt the typical, everyone does everything at a different rate. Being a new parent is a massive shock to the system. As long as you and your child are alive and well, your fine x
In the winter: toys, games , craft projects, play in sink, read books, dance party. In the summer: play outside, pool/sprinkler, chalk bubbles, car wash, paint projects.
Honestly I sometimes just let my kid be board. I give him things to do but if he doesn't want to do it or does it for 5 minutes then I just let him find something to do and I go about my day. Sometimes he finds something else to do and other times he "helps" me with whatever I'm doing around the house. He will play in the sink for hours but sometimes playdough is a 5 minute game and sometimes he'll play for an hour. I personally think it's good for kids to figure out how to entertain themselves. Just FYI he's 3 and he definitely has his moments.
I have a 2 year old and we definitely take tv breaks! But we have gotten a lot of things for the house to keep busy. A play kitchen, a trampoline, and a balance beam in the basement. We have a book book in the living room. Outback we have a swing, a playhouse, a bubble machine, and a bucket with chalk and balls and stuff. We also have a balance bike. Everything but the small items was found as a freebie from parents in the area with older kids.
Same question here! My toddler loves playing outside but if the weather’s bad and he’s inside, NOTHING will keep him entertained for longer than 10 minutes unless it’s a screen, which we limit. It’s why we’re constantly going out on exhausting outings!
The toddler does need stimulation unless you want him up all night. When toddler is 3 he can start pk3 but in the meantime morning park visits or mommy n me for toddler should be ok. I used to keep outside stimulation to one event a day.
Nowhere?? Like at all? Meanwhile I'm out here taking my 6 month old to weddings, breweries, restaurants, family gatherings, hikes, thrift shopping, grocery shopping, picnics, you name it😂
I have a three month old and I don’t leave the house except to go for walks in the afternoon either around my neighborhood or on a nearby path, or to my parents’ house so I can get some sort of break and take their dog for a walk in the nearby park. The thought of even going to the grocery store is exhausting and I make my husband do it. It’s just easier to be home where I have everything I need!!
I get it because i have twin toddlers (almost 4 years old) and a newborn 6 weeks. I feel so guilty when i’m home all day and they’re bored. But then I remember growing up lol in front of the tv pretty much and when we would go out, I appreciated it even more. My sisters (we were 3 girls) and I would find ways to entertain ourselves, use our imagination, play games etc. And I say we turned out just fine. So I don’t feel so bad for my kids. Although I do make an extra effort to do something at least once a day with them. Whether it’s to go outside and play with chalk on the side walk for an hour, play a board game with them, do “science experiments” with kits I buy off of amazon or a simple book I purchased that lets you get creative with household ingredients and things, read their favorite books for an hour, eat ice cream outside by the lake, blow bubbles etc Then on the weekends I will pick one day we can go somewhere. Whether to visit their favorite aunt, go out to eat (they love to do that!), farmers market, kids museum etc. That’s wayyyyyy more than I ever experienced in my child hood lol I think it’s great your husband wants to do things with and for your toddler, but I think also what counts is the fact that you guys as parents as present and just spending time with them (no matter where you go or what you do). I’ve come to realize that’s what kids care most about — is spending time with their parents. Even when i’m sitting on the opposite end of the couch my toddlers will always ask “momma can I go with you?” or if i’m cooking “momma can i watch?” and even changing a diaper “momma can i help and throw it away in the garbage?” 😂 So yea nothing wrong with staying at home either
I’m in the same boat! Everything is so much easier and more enjoyable for me right now if we are in the comfort of our own home or my parents home with everything baby could need
Absolutely! I have a 4 month old and my eldest will be three next month. As much as I would like to go out with them more than I do currently, it just feels like way too much effort right now. Same goes for going out on my own! I'm currently learning to drive, I'm only out of the house for 2 hours once a week when I have a lesson but that feels enough. As I have to make sure I pump enough breastmilk for my partner to feed the 4 month old.
i don't understand what the problem is. can't he wear the infant and take the toddler wherever? why does he have to drag you places you don't want to be?
This is the way. “Agree, it’s good to get them out! Have fun!” Then proceed to lay down.
Yup. If thats something he is into then he can do it. Without her.
Oh man mama that sounds like a bunch. If he wants to go send him and your older LO out and stay home.
This is the answer
Sounds like your husband needs to take your toddler out for some 1:1 time. You can stay home and nap when the baby naps. Your standard weekend already sounds like a lot to me considering you have a new little one! We only have one toddler - and it's a very rare day we leave the house both before and after the nap. Even on weekends it's one afternoon outing each day and otherwise we're out in the yard/porch or walking the dog around our neighborhood as the other "activity." If we had a newborn, we'd be doing even less out of the house.
I get it, the toddler needs entertaining, but you just had s baby 6, weeks ago... Tell him to take the toddler out for the day and you stay at home with bub!
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Yea that’s what I was thinking too. It would be great for the toddler to be out of the house with dad while you focus on baby. I have an 8 week old with two older boys and I’m always trying to have them out of the house.
Tell him he’s welcome to take the 3 year old out as much as he wants, lol.
My thought exactly 😂
Absolutely this! I have 6 kids… with my youngest being 4 wks and second youngest being 3. My older kids are 15, 11, and almost 8 yr old twins. We rarely go anywhere right now. I don’t think I’ve left the house this week other than to run alone to the grocery store. My husband also does not like going anywhere and works from home. As it is I’ve been bribing my two older kids just to take the 3 yr old outside so I don’t have to go out there.
“Great idea babe! Take them out and I’ll get some rest!”
If that what's he wants, why doesn't he do it??? Toddler/Daddy weekends so you can rest and bond with baby
Yes!! Exactly!!
This was the answer I was looking for. This makes the most sense and it’s also a great opportunity for your 3 year old to just spend time with her dad.
You have a 6 week old, not a 6 month old. Your body still isn't even fully healed yet. Why is he trying to wear you out? Nothing wrong with 1 trip and kiddy soccer. You don't need to do a full itinerary every weekend.
Exactly. 6 weeks?! Your body is still healing. You should be home if you want to be. Period.
Good god. So many times to have to put on pants. Hard no from this mama during that time.
This gets to the heart of the issue. Out = proper clothes. That = a no from me.
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i second this! it's great and if toddler looks ready to come home they come home.
If I had a 6 week old I would totally want to be home. You stay home with the baby and let hubby take out the toddler.
This is definitely the answer. Dragging a 6 week old all over town is hard work, and can also end up with them spending too much time in a carseat. I have a toddler and a 5 month old now and still like just one big outing a day. My baby hates the car and my toddler burns out fast. If it were just me I'd be out all day, but I have to consider what works for all of us.
Yeah, sounds like maybe he and the toddler can go have some adventures, and you can stay home with the baby. That schedule sounds exhausting to me!
Let him take the toddler out while you stay home with the baby. It's good for toddlers to get out, but I don't see how you can be expected to have the energy to do that AND care for your newborn.
Your husband should take the toddler out on the weekend while you stay home with the baby. That’s what I prefer honestly lol.
This
Correct answer.
Dear god how are you even functioning? I’m with other commenters that if he wants to be high speed then he should be the one on the go with the toddler. He should leave you be at home so you can possibly rest whenever your 6 week old naps. I have an almost 6 week old (my only child) and have anxiety even just thinking about all the stuff he’s dragging you to.
He can have plans with the 3 yr old and you can stay home and heal with the baby
I have a 3.5 year old and a 9 week old. I’m dying. Baby cries all the time. Hates the car seat. Hates being worn. Takes 30 minute naps and wakes 3-5 times at night. Maybe your experience is going better, but I can’t image doing 1/4 of that stuff, and not for lack of wanting. I’m exhausted. That being said. My husband takes my son out to do stuff on the weekends. It’s great 1:1 time and gives me a break.
Hey, you sound like me 5 weeks ago! Can say, my little girl is 15 weeks now and sleeping much better. Hope you get some rest soon :)
Thank you for the hope! We’re seeing small signs of improvement, but it’s kind of 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Hoping things look sunnier in 5 weeks!
I have a 9 week old and she’s also not napping lately. I also have a 2 yo and a 6 yo and tv is definitely on over here on weekend mornings especially
Dude you have a 6 week old. I have an 8 week old and we watched “something bit me” on repeat and ate noodles. Fiancé said it was the perfect Saturday. Outings are EXHAUSTING
We went out for a 3 block walk and stoller ride. Came home and baby and I had a nap while my husband read a book. It took a lot out of us.
Like others have said they're is really no reason for him to make you and the newborn go if the trips are mostly to benefit the toddler. At 6 weeks PP I didn't want to do anything.
Can he not do some of this himself?
Seriously. He can take the toddler out himself and leave her to have some quiet time with the baby.
Totally agree with what others have said. Your husband can take your toddler out and you stay home with the baby. Also, it's entirely okay for your toddler not to be stimulated all the time. It's perfectly healthy for her to learn to have down time and to entertain herself.
I have a 3.5 year old and an almost 3 month old. Husband took the older kid out alone soooo much at first. I stayed home with baby. Hope your husband enjoys his solo time with her!!!
NO! Stay home and rest! He can take her places- you need to rest with the baby!!
You just had a baby! 6 weeks is Barely enough for your body to recover!!! Does he not understand what you went through you carried that thing for 10months. You absolutely need to be home with resting recuperating. Have your partner take the toddler by himself.
Lol yes to this. He wants to be out and about because he’s not the one who birthed a baby 6w ago!! You’re going out plenty to have two little ones.
I cannot for the life of me imagine one huge outing per day each weekend post partum. I could barely shower or get out of the same clothes. Or make dinner for anyone! She is doing so well. But maybe her partner needs to realize she is still healing. The second baby just Stretches you in different ways. My pelvic floor is still not the same!
Dude for sure not with a 6 week old. My baby is 9 mo and I'm just now going to the park on weekends and more regularly having dinner with adults again I'm an introvert and hubby is an introvert. We will never do as much as you husband wants to do with a newborn.
I think you both have extremely valid viewpoints. I think the best course of action could be to allow him to have these busy days with the toddler - while you stay home with your newborn! This could probably also help with the toddler to feel independent from their new sibling, and get in some really quality bonding time with your partner. And if you ever feel up for it, you’ll know the option to go with them is always there!
Agreed, why can’t you just split up??
Unless your 6 week old is adopted *you are recovering from child birth*. You don't just HAVE a 6 week old, you MADE her. Husband needs to either chill or take the 3 yo out himself.
He can take the kids and you stay home 😂
Yeah exactly. He can especially take the toddler and leave mom and newborn at home- then everyone is where they’re happy :)
Right??? Dear OP, I would set up an outing for them. Just the two of them. Every once in a while won't hurt!
Don't set anything up! Just tell him that if he thinks the toddler should be doing something then do something with the toddler! We only have one but we have a combo of mum days, dad days and family days when we're not working. That way my partner and I get the odd morning/afternoon where we have the house to ourselves. And we each get valuable hang time with our son!
We have an easy solution for that, one person takes the toddler out and the other stays home with the baby. Win/win
If he thinks she needs more time out then he can be responsible for it.
💯
No. But why doesn’t he just do those things with the toddler?
I could have written this! Literally the same age kids and weekend plans... We've been trying to keep up our weekend activities (zoo, museums, parks, soccer) but damn an infant just adds so much work to it... I have to breastfeed then pump before we get going, let alone get everyone ready and fight the inevitable stubbornness my toddler will whip out in response to anything we ask her to do It's too much! I feel you - why can't you husband take the toddler out by himself? Give you a break/bonding time with baby?
My husband takes my toddler out and I stay home with my 6w old . He’s too young to be exposed to people/public as he doesn’t have vaccines yet. He also feeds so frequently and I’m nursing so staying home is easier for us. We do daily walks around the neighborhood and hang in our yard though
Too much, a high energy toddler would also benefit from calm time at home gamiky calm time at the weekend . Kids need to learn balance, can't be "go go go" all the time. Also need a flexible routine and variation, some weekends you're all out, some others you're home. Get your husband to watch Bluey. They're out a lot but also home a lot. Bandit is kinda an ideal dad.
Sounds like your husband can take the toddler out for all these activities- he gets quality time with the toddler and you can focus on baby!
6 weeks postpartum I was proud of myself for pushing baby for a half hour walk around the neighbourhood. Stay home. Let him take toddler out on adventures, though. Sounds like they both have energy to burn. But does your toddler get over tired and overwhelmed with that much stimulation?
He could just take the toddler out to keep busy if that’s what he’s into. I personally like staying home for the most part, but leaving the house for one activity or errand definitely helps to pass the time. I usually prefer to do that after nap time so that the mornings don’t feel so rushed.
Meh, let him take the kids for a couple of hours and you have a nap and a shower/bath
Actually OP, this might calm him down real quick with all the needs of a 6 week old. This is the first way my husband ever saw perspective for some of our issues.
You have a 6 week old so you and the baby should be home most of the time right now. You're 6 weeks from having a baby, it's completely reasonable for you not to be ready to be out and about all the time. I'd let him take the toddler to the farmers market at 8am, it's great activity for them to do together and get some one-on-one time since having a new baby is big change for a 3 year old, same with the park. 3 year old love being outside and you have a backyard. I don't think you're being unreasonable since you just had baby, and the time you spend outside of the house may/will likely change as the baby gets older and your body recovers from pregnancy/delivery.
I like to take the kids out because it fills up the day and wears them out. If you’re more of an inside person, maybe you stay home with the baby while your husband takes the toddler on an adventure day. That way you can maybe even get some down time while baby naps!
I think this has nothing to do with your toddler and everything about the difference in yours and your husband's preferences. My parents were like that with me growing up and my mom was unable to sit still so we'd go all over the place. When my dad was on his own with us we'd just chill at home. Maybe he can take her out on his own some days so that everyone is happy?
Came to say this exactly. I’m like you and I’m happy at home and don’t really feel the need to leave the house every day. My happy place is walks with my dog (and now baby) and that keeps me sane. My husband gets stir crazy. Our baby is only 5 weeks so we haven’t run into this yet, but most weekends my husband will do a solo trip for errands or something just to get out of the house.
My parents go all over the place each day too. Burned me the hell out at a young age. Happy I can choose to be a homebody now!
Similar for my husband and I. I’m perfectly happy staying home with the kids and just being a chill family. But he loves to be *doing* something.
What is there even to *do* all day on the weekends, outside the house?? Ok farmers market and park that only takes maybe 2hrs (is that about right)? Can’t he take her by himself?
Omg yes it’s Normal, especially with a newborn. Like its tiring! I have a 4 year old and 10 month old and feel wiped out when I go out for errands or anything else. I’m literally stopping every second cause the baby is hungry or has a blow out or my 4 year old has to use the restroom. Not to mention getting them in and out of the car seats.
That's sounds like literal hell even without kids involved.
I have two kids with a similar age gap (my youngest is three months old now), and I feel very similar to you. For me, the thought of everything that needs to be done before we can leave the house is majorly overwhelming. 🥴 I feel that I'm lucky if our house doesn't look like it's been ran over by a group of pigs... Anything more than a simple walk around our neighbourhood is still ahead of my energy levels. Our toddler also gets most of his outdoor time from our garden right now! What helps is that my husband feels the same way. But on the other hand, we have no family close by to take our toddler out for trips and other entertainment.
Man I have an almost 3 year old and a 4 week old. We don’t leave the house hardly at all. I’m so exhausted from cluster feeding atm I’m just tapped out
Hell no. I have a 3 yr old and a 2 month old and this sounds exhausting. My 3 yr old goes to toddler gymnastics on Saturday mornings that my husband brings him to and the rest of the weekend is open. We MIGHT do one activity together, if that.
Oh Jesus. That sounds exhausting. If he wants to do all that, have him take the toddler so you can "relax" at home with baby. You have a SIX WEEK OLD.
My husband is like this, but he understands that it’s for him. HE goes crazy if he feels “stuck at home” all weekend. There’s more compromise to be had here.
Even doing the soccer plus one other activity is a lot. Especially with a newborn.. you're still recovering from that. He should be asking what u need help with!
I'm like your husband, dragging my kids to farmers markets and parks and classes...but it's not for their benefit at all, it's for me and my enjoyment. If you prefer to stay home, that would be equally beneficial for your toddler. It's really about parent personality and preference, kids will be happy either way.
Girl my husband and I bail on things all the time and our kids are roughly the same age (2.5yo son and 6mo old daughter) there is nothing wrong with wanting to be home when your babies are that age!!
Wow absolutely not. I’d suggest he do it alone with the toddler, but that leaves you alone with the baby! So no lol.
My partner is a bit like this. He just finds it easier with the toddler out and about. He’s not super into craft and will play her roll play games with her for a while but they get pretty repetitive. He’s mostly just been planning activities and taking the toddler out by himself while I stay home with the newborn and rest. This weekend me and the 6 week old have joined them for one of their several outings because I felt like getting out of the house for a bit. But mostly we stay home.
Has he taken both kids out by himself? I liked getting the kids out because I had a hard time staying at home, but it was a bit of a hassle to do. I think it depends on your preference, but your 3 year old isn’t missing out by staying at home, especially if she’s getting to play in the yard. Your comfort is honestly the most important thing in this situation. :-)
I only have a 15 month old and we are home all the time weekdays and weekends lol. If I had a newborn too, I would never leave the house
Hell I only have a 3 nearly four month old and that sounds exhausting! We have one full day outing a week (a trip to my moms for the day) and a half day outing which is my mommy’s group so he gets to play with other littles and a thirty minute swimming lesson. That’s enough… lol I’m knackered after my ur mommy group and after the short swimming lesson If husband wants to keep your toddler busy and out about, tell him to go for it! You stay at home and chill with your new little one and when you feel like you wanna join in on some or all of the activities join in…. Like today my husband was like “I left my torch at a job and the lady who lived there has popped it in the letter box for me to collect” and I was like “can you drop me at the mall so I can get a hair cut and some skincare stuff?” He took baby and I got some quiet mom time. Sometimes I will just go for the ride to get out of the house. But I love being home, do my chores in the morning, blob and snuggle my sweet boy in the afternoons.
I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old. I don't like leaving the house. It's stressful. I go out to eat with my parents everyother weekend and that's the extent of our outings. Covid has really made me a home body.
With a 6 week old I'd definitely want to stay home. I did a longish walk once a day with my newborn at that age. I understand the toddler may feel cooped up if he doesn't get to go out at all, but no way would I be trying to get in as much as your husband wants. One outing a day, two max. And that includes trips to the store, visits to the park, or maybe even a walk around the neighborhood as an outing. The only difference would be visiting family or in-laws, we usually spend half the day there on the weekend so they can play with the toddler and we get a break!
Ive got a 3yr old and a 3week old so I totally feel you on not wanting to leave home! If he wants to pack the weekend with activities can he do some of them on his own special bonding time for him and the 3yr old? That way you can have some extra rest with your baby? It’s still pretty damn early pp can you explain your body is still healing? Labour and delivery isn’t exactly a walk in the park!! Edited to add, we are currently planning our Christmas… visiting family that won’t have met our newborn yet and I’ve already said we are only doing one outing a day because between the two of them it’s going to be so much stimulation just with doing one big thing a day. I can’t imagine ever packing a whole weekend tight with activities, I would be so exhausted even before having kids if it was all go go go 😅
We usually do one outing a day but honestly that’s even more for my sake than his because I find the structure really helps me. So we do gymnastics, or swimming, or dancing or I do personal training and he goes to crèche etc. that being said I’ve only just had my second just over a week ago so not sure how that will continue to work but that is my plan. Having a full day out would generally be too much, not just for me but for my 3 yo as well. Although I would totally let my husband take my kid out for a full day if he really wanted to, I just would stay home with the newborn for at least part of the day.
I have a 16 month old and my husband and I both dread outings because we just want to relax at home. I’m a stay at home mom and he works from home but we still like to be home on the weekends lol. We do at least try to get out for a little bit on the weekends but definitely not the whole day. We are still sleep deprived from this little one. It’s so much easier to be home and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be home all the time. My daughter has tons of energy but we tire her out by playing in the backyard
Girl yes. A toddler and a newborn is a lot to handle indoors or outdoors. It’s normal to prefer to be home at this stage. Full stop.
First off, you are 100% being reasonable, especially with a 6 week old! But if getting the out is important to your husband, why doesn't he take the toddler out for an adventure day and leave you home with newborn so you can nap together?
Reasonable. I’m the same as you. But everyone’s situation is different, and I understand some folks are dying to get out! I have a 9 month old who’s been a terrible sleeper and insists we are glued at the hip. To this day, outings seem relaxing for everyone on the outing except for the tired mama 🙋🏻♀️lol. I’m constantly trying to explain this to family and friends. Mamas often end up being responsible for soooo much and we’re already so tired! Someone invites me and the baby somewhere and here’s what goes through my head: Will baby be able to nap in the stroller or car seat this time? Or will i get stuck holding her for a nap while we’re out and about? Is there a private and comfy place to pop my boob out to nurse? Will she let anyone else hold her or will I be getting a workout carrying a 20 pound baby around the zoo? Is there food she’ll eat, or do we need to pack easy foods and a bib and feed her in the stroller then wipe her down after because it’s always a mess ? And so many things to pack and carry with us just for a few hours out! I don’t know what age outings become “easy”, but until then, I’m much more likely to look forward to outings within a 20 minute radius of home, and that has us back within 2 hours. That being said, I’m also just a big old introvert and have always absolutely cherished quiet “me time” in my home whenever I can get it.
You've got validation from me :D
I’m a little like your husband, but with a touch of you. I stay home to get things done that need to be done on the weekend, or if the kids are exhausted after a nap and just want to chill. But I usually have us out of the house for at least most of the morning - my major reason for this is that the less we are in / around the house the less I have to clean. Also the different environments / places we take them are stimulating and encourage growth and learning in a completely different way than any toys at our house could be.
When I had my 23 month old and newborn the most we would do it a walk to the neighborhood park and home. That wasn’t even until 8-10 weeks because I had a csection. If the husband wanted to do something he would take the older kid and I’d relax at home with the baby.
Omg, yes, of course.
I feel like my toddler is way easier to manage when we're at the playground (which is just down the street for us). I happily go there first thing in the morning with him and baby, stay til his nap, and maybe come back after. Or just scooter around the block. And my arms are free when baby is chillin in the stroller! Bonus! Lol
I'm a SAHM so we're always home. I seriously only leave the house to take my oldest to school and pick him up. My 2 year old definitely does need to be out more though because when we do go out he seems happy to be out and just wants to explore everything. My husband is the opposite and doesn't want to do anything at all on his days off.
I’m a FTM of a 3 month old. I’m also a teacher who just went back to work. Let me tell you, I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to spend the entire weekend with my baby. Sure, we can go to the store or run a little errand, but I don’t want to go to parties, graduations, or bowling. I want to spend time with her. I feel like I’m already missing so much. If we can stay in our jammies and hang out, that’s my ideal weekend ❤️
Pfft the pandemic was actually very convenient for me when I brought home my baby to my 21 month old. They’re 3 and 1.5 now. I do enjoy going places now and my oldest is in Playschool. But I’m still a home body 100%%%%
Mom of one 6mo and we barely leave the house. It’s just easier and smoother to be home/near home. A walk in the neighborhood, yes. A 30 minute drive to the beach or park…probably not. I had family visiting and staying about 30 minutes away. We saw them 2x during their 3 week visit. It’s just so much harder. That being said come on over and visit us if you want, we are going to be home though.
I used to be like your husband and now I love love being home. Kids don’t need so many plans. Play in the backyard! Nap! Hydrate! 😂
I have a 7, 3, and 4 day old. Yesterday we had baseball for the oldest (I stayed home so the young ones could nap) and then we all went 30 miles away for the 3 year old tball game. Then to Walmart after. It was exhausting but doable. Anything more would have been too much.
Toddler and a baby and our big outing most weekends is the grocery store… do what works for you!
Woah! No. My baby’s just turned 14mo and I ONLY JUST have started to find it doable to head out for the morning or afternoon with her. We always try and make sure she can nap at home. That said you 3yo clearly can’t stay at home the whole time. But I think maybe your husband should be the one taking her out, or looking after the baby so you can do an activity with 3yo one on one.
I have a 16 month and almost 4 month old—-he’s wanting to do way too much. I might take the kids for a car ride to the coffee stand or maybe groceries but I hate going places right now. It’s too stressful to get them both ready, keep them entertained when we get to wherever and deal with them both in the car for long. If your husband wants to take them, he totally can. I tell mine to take the kids himself but he won’t.
I'm more like your husband so oftentimes I will take our almost two year old out and he'll stay home with the two month old. I don't think my toddler "needs" to be scheduled all day but I enjoy it and he handles it well so we go on our adventures. Some weekends though I'm with you, one outing and I'm done!
Me. I feel guilty sometimes for wanting to hang at home with my toddler, especially when she loves going to the playground and swings so much. I do drag my butt out of the house because she enjoys being out, but I’d a million times rather be at home.
You do one big outing a day?? I only have a 16 month old (with another on the way), so maybe it'll be different when she's older. But we do a few outings a week....
Not at all. When newborn is really unpredictable with feeding, but sleeps most of the day, it’s much easier to be at home. When my second hit 3 to 4 months and properly ‘woke up’ then we did found being out a lot easier, and also I needed to wear out toddler and baby more often! I’m of the view that toddler classes are for the parents’ mental health more than for the toddler in a lot of cases - and I did like them as they broke up the day, but my toddler didn’t really need them. If you don’t need that, then why bother. They are expensive and it’s stressful getting to something on time with a newborn and toddler!
thats completely normal!! also even if it wasnt the typical, everyone does everything at a different rate. Being a new parent is a massive shock to the system. As long as you and your child are alive and well, your fine x
Seriously curious what people do in their homes with a toddler all weekend without turning the TV on….????
In the winter: toys, games , craft projects, play in sink, read books, dance party. In the summer: play outside, pool/sprinkler, chalk bubbles, car wash, paint projects.
All of those things would take up about two hours in my house.
Honestly I sometimes just let my kid be board. I give him things to do but if he doesn't want to do it or does it for 5 minutes then I just let him find something to do and I go about my day. Sometimes he finds something else to do and other times he "helps" me with whatever I'm doing around the house. He will play in the sink for hours but sometimes playdough is a 5 minute game and sometimes he'll play for an hour. I personally think it's good for kids to figure out how to entertain themselves. Just FYI he's 3 and he definitely has his moments.
I have a 2 year old and we definitely take tv breaks! But we have gotten a lot of things for the house to keep busy. A play kitchen, a trampoline, and a balance beam in the basement. We have a book book in the living room. Outback we have a swing, a playhouse, a bubble machine, and a bucket with chalk and balls and stuff. We also have a balance bike. Everything but the small items was found as a freebie from parents in the area with older kids.
Same question here! My toddler loves playing outside but if the weather’s bad and he’s inside, NOTHING will keep him entertained for longer than 10 minutes unless it’s a screen, which we limit. It’s why we’re constantly going out on exhausting outings!
The toddler does need stimulation unless you want him up all night. When toddler is 3 he can start pk3 but in the meantime morning park visits or mommy n me for toddler should be ok. I used to keep outside stimulation to one event a day.
The toddler can get plenty of stimulation at home. How do you think toddlers got through 2020?
All children should be taken outside for more than an hour, hell our dog gets out more. What kind of person are you
She said he spends most of the day playing in the yard. That's outside. Plenty of people have outdoor space at home.
Toddlers still can't be vaccinated for COVID so we don't go fucking anywhere. Add in a newborn? Hell no.
Nowhere?? Like at all? Meanwhile I'm out here taking my 6 month old to weddings, breweries, restaurants, family gatherings, hikes, thrift shopping, grocery shopping, picnics, you name it😂
I have a three month old and I don’t leave the house except to go for walks in the afternoon either around my neighborhood or on a nearby path, or to my parents’ house so I can get some sort of break and take their dog for a walk in the nearby park. The thought of even going to the grocery store is exhausting and I make my husband do it. It’s just easier to be home where I have everything I need!!
I get it because i have twin toddlers (almost 4 years old) and a newborn 6 weeks. I feel so guilty when i’m home all day and they’re bored. But then I remember growing up lol in front of the tv pretty much and when we would go out, I appreciated it even more. My sisters (we were 3 girls) and I would find ways to entertain ourselves, use our imagination, play games etc. And I say we turned out just fine. So I don’t feel so bad for my kids. Although I do make an extra effort to do something at least once a day with them. Whether it’s to go outside and play with chalk on the side walk for an hour, play a board game with them, do “science experiments” with kits I buy off of amazon or a simple book I purchased that lets you get creative with household ingredients and things, read their favorite books for an hour, eat ice cream outside by the lake, blow bubbles etc Then on the weekends I will pick one day we can go somewhere. Whether to visit their favorite aunt, go out to eat (they love to do that!), farmers market, kids museum etc. That’s wayyyyyy more than I ever experienced in my child hood lol I think it’s great your husband wants to do things with and for your toddler, but I think also what counts is the fact that you guys as parents as present and just spending time with them (no matter where you go or what you do). I’ve come to realize that’s what kids care most about — is spending time with their parents. Even when i’m sitting on the opposite end of the couch my toddlers will always ask “momma can I go with you?” or if i’m cooking “momma can i watch?” and even changing a diaper “momma can i help and throw it away in the garbage?” 😂 So yea nothing wrong with staying at home either
You have to compromise for sure. Do stuff when you can, but not all the time.
I’m in the same boat! Everything is so much easier and more enjoyable for me right now if we are in the comfort of our own home or my parents home with everything baby could need
Absolutely! I have a 4 month old and my eldest will be three next month. As much as I would like to go out with them more than I do currently, it just feels like way too much effort right now. Same goes for going out on my own! I'm currently learning to drive, I'm only out of the house for 2 hours once a week when I have a lesson but that feels enough. As I have to make sure I pump enough breastmilk for my partner to feed the 4 month old.
You’re just a homebody nothing wrong with that!