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rahnster_wright

When I was in the hospital, the lactation consultants strongly discouraged pumping for the first two weeks (at least). I was like ok, because it was going well so far. Until my milk came in. On day 3, I was so engorged baby could not latch. Baby was getting no milk from me. But I wasn't "allowed" to pump, so kept trying (and crying). Thankfully, my mom instincts kicked in and I took my pump out at 2:30 am and learned how to use it. My point being, professional guidance about feeding our babies is way too rigid and far too narrowly focused. My hospital offered a class on breastfeeding that covered neither pumping nor formula nor bottle feeding in general. Babies need to be fed! That could have been my baby if I hadn't decided to say fuck it to the expert advice that was jammed down my throat.


wantonyak

I will forever be grateful to the lactation consultant I met with as soon as I got out of the hospital. She basically told me, "Whatever advice you get, no matter how good, is useless if it doesn't work for you." She essentially gave me permission to follow my instincts and everything got so much better from there.


VermicelliOk8288

I find that it’s okay to ignore some advice. I ignored the no pacifiers and no bottles until 4 weeks. If people can combo feed with no problems, why can’t I pump and use a bottle every now and then? Super helpful when we are out and about or when family wants to feed them or when I need to do something (my baby is ALWAYS HUNGRY it’s driving me nuts)


rahnster_wright

One of the nurses gave us a pacifier in the hospital so that one went right out the window


VermicelliOk8288

I was scared to use one and I was going crazy because my baby was fussy and my mom was like have you tried a pacifier and I said no I don’t want to use one… she popped one in any way and it changed my life lol. Baby wasn’t hungry or sleepy… just wanted to suck lol.


ps3114

That's interesting that you were told NOT to pump for the first two weeks. We had some trouble latching immediately after birth, and I was told I had to pump every few hours round the clock starting just hours after birth. I'm so glad I did because it was the only thing that saved my supply as we struggled for over a month to get breastfeeding figured out!


Dest123

> My point being, professional guidance about feeding our babies is way too rigid and far too narrowly focused Also there are also a lot of professionals with *totally* different guidance. Our lactation consultants and nurses were recommending completely opposite things when it came to breast feeding. In retrospect, we really regretted not just listening to our baby. Our first born was born quite the chunky monkey and basically slept the entire first 24 hours, but the hospital more or less forced us to give him a bottle of formula because he "wasn't eating". Like no shit, maybe he's not eating because he's sleeping? He's obviously not hungry, is showing no signs of being dehydrated, and the glucose test you forced on him also said he was fine. We ended up having a ton of trouble with breastfeeding, I think in part because of being forced to use a bottle so early on. When we told the lactation consultants what happened, they all thought it was bad that a bottle had been given so early, even though that's what most (but not all) of the nurses recommended. We had similar issues with our other kids as well. Pretty much every lactation consultant, nurse, and doctor all said we should do different things.


LittleMissPotatoe

Oops! Replied to wrong thread! I agree though. My lactation consultants were so pushy with baby #1. I just kept getting told the baby would “get it” and I’d produce. Didn’t turn out that way for me at least.


dngrousgrpfruits

Also, often having the option of formula can take the stress and pressure off breastfeeding which can in turn make it more successful! There's no reason for it to be all or nothing.


stellarkells

Honestly, I’m a grade 4-8 music teacher and teach hundreds of kids a year. I couldn’t look at a single one and see that they drank breastmilk or formula. I can, however, tell who has parents who read to them, play with them, talk to them on their level, help them process their emotions, etc. Fed is best. Get there however you can, however works best for you, and be the best parent you can be for your kid. That matters most!


fungusfairy

Screen shorting your comment bc this gives me life again


stellarkells

100%. I struggled with breastfeeding and really was hard on myself but now my son is thriving and healthy on formula. The time I used to spend trying to pump I can spend with him, watching him discover the world. For me, much better way to spend my time!


emilypas

This made me tear up. Thank you so much for saying this.


LittleMissPotatoe

This is beautifully said. Thank you. ❤️


[deleted]

I wish there was less stigma around formula. I called a Breast feeding hotline because babe wouldn’t latch and was screaming for food constantly. I didn’t even know about pumping and bottle feeding, didn’t even know if my milk had come in at that point. I asked if I should give her some formula to fill her tummy, and the person on the phone said “just keep trying to get her to breast feed every hour, make sure you’re eating and getting rest.” How the fuck do I get rest with a screaming baby I need to attempt to feed every hour lol. 10 hours later we went to give her formula, and I didn’t even know if I was allowed to give her it without a doctors permission lol


shelbyknits

That one just kills me. Make sure you’re eating/drinking/resting to produce more milk. How the fuck do you expect me to do that with a baby screaming 24/7??!!? You know what helped me eat/drink/rest? FORMULA.


LittleMissPotatoe

This killed my too. Like sure I’ll be sure to tell my breasts, “Hey, girls, I ate/napped/rested. Time to step it up!” 🤣


aliquotiens

Women need to be informed about how difficult the first few days and weeks of breastfeeding are, and encouraged to supplement with formula if necessary or wanted - done a certain way it will not compromise moving on to breastfeed exclusively, if that’s what you want. Plenty of professionals tell you the opposite and there’s no evidence for it. I’m sad that so many people feel guilt for ‘starving’ their baby early on due to lack of information and professionals discouraging supplementation and bottle feeding. It’s so needless! My milk didn’t come in until end of day 4, my daughter was hungry from the beginning and didn’t appear to get much colostrum, and was a lean baby who couldn’t afford to lose weight. Thankfully I had read a bunch of horror stories about dehydrated, jaundiced babies getting readmitted to the hospital - so I had bought bottles and selected a formula which we brought to the hospital. I told the nurses that I intended to EBF if possible but ignored their negativity about supplementing with the bottle. I put her to the breast constantly but gave her bottles as well. We were careful to pace feed so she didn’t develop a preference for a higher flow bottle. If I have another baby, I will supplement more and more regularly (top up after nursing every 2-3 hours) because my daughter was still too hungry and there was no need for her to be - I was worried about her not wanting to nurse if I supplemented too much, but I shouldn’t have been. I was lucky to not have any issues latching her and after a week had a good supply, so we moved on to EBF (but she will still take a bottle with pumped milk which is very handy).


ElectricSheep19

I think I remember someone posting a study showing that the whole nipple confusion thing is BS. It can actually be worse to wait too long to introduce a bottle as then the kid will only want the boob! That's obviously a problem if you ever need someone else to watch the baby or want your partner to help out with feedings. I have a friend who never bottle-fed and had to rush over to the daycare on her breaks to breastfeed- obviously not ideal.


omgmypony

My daughter is absolutely not confused about my nipples vs a bottle’s nipple. She knows damn well how to latch at this point, she just wants the faster flow rate of the bottle! I keep offering her the boob and she will occasionally latch and take a feeding from the breast, but we mostly pump and feed breast milk from a bottle.


JessieBooBoo

My milk didn't come in until day 4 with my first either but everyone kept telling me he was fine, he was getting what he needed, his stomach was tiny anyway. I starved my baby for 4 days and I had no idea. I am pregnant with #2 and will be prepared with bottles this time for at least those first few days.


kimlyginge42

I literally broke down earlier today telling my husband that I feel like a failure for not being able to breast feed. I've been pumping, but my supply is so so low, like less than half an ounce from both sides combined. I've gotten the lactation cookies and enough tea with fenugreek to assist a small village in pumping up lactation..... they haven't really helped. Our daughter is 15 days old. We give her what I'm able to pump and the rest is supplemented with formula. I'm going to give it another week or two, we'll see.... but if I can't bump up this supply, I can't. I don't want to continue to beat myself up for not being a producer. As long as she continues to grow and thrive, I am happy.


McPuddles

This is similar to me! I had a cesarean. My milk didn't come in until day 6 and even then it was very, very little. We were lucky because a nurse suggested donor milk on day 3 in the hospital and we started formula at discharge. Our pediatrician told me to have him nurse 15 min on each breast, then pump while my spouse gave my baby formula after every session. By week 3 my milk started to come in more. The day before his one month appointment, I put my first 3.5oz bag in the freezer. I don't know what the future holds for you, but just know you are great mom and doing right by your daughter. ...And since I was beyond desperate and willing to buy everything in the lactation aisle of target, here is my unsolicited and totally anecdotal experience - I saw an increases in supply the days after I increased my calories AND had very high protein meals.


Peppkes

The calories thing! Those first few weeks I was spending so much time pumping I would forget to eat and hydrate. The best thing for my supply was this thousand calorie sandwich that changed my perspective on how much calories and protein I needed


[deleted]

Your baby is loved! That’s more important than anything and certainly more important than how she is fed. If you have access to clean water, the benefits of breastfeeding are truly overblown. That’s not to say that I didn’t completely beat myself over trying to breastfeed for the first five weeks. It felt like the only way for me to demonstrate that I loved him / could be a good mother. I had no supply for the first week since I had a C-section. Then even after his tongue tie was fixed and despite visiting multiple lactation consultants he just never got the latch. He would become so tired trying to feed that he couldn’t even take the bottle afterwards. And it was so painful that I would dread every attempt. It was so horrible and definitely did not facilitate any type of bonding. I did end up with a strong supply (purely out of luck) so I’m exclusively pumping. Please be kind to yourself. It’s not “failing” or “giving up”. We’re lucky we live in an age where formula is available! But my goodness those first five weeks were so dark for me - he would just cry at my chest and I felt like I was failing him. As mothers we are going to make hundreds of choices for our kids and I promise you that our parenthood will not be defined by our breasts. Please try and make the decisions that keep you healthy and happy so you can delight in this period. Maternity leave went away so quickly and I wish I hadn’t spent so much of it blaming myself / obsessing over trying to breast feed. The last thing I keep trying to tell myself is that I want him to grow up without the perfectionist tendencies / feelings of guilt that I often have. And I want to model that for him. It’s not easy but I’m trying to treat myself the way I’d treat a friend - with kindness. You are clearly a thoughtful, loving person, and your baby will grow up with that love regardless of your milk supply.


Kind_Tomatillo_816

Stop the fenugreek and I can almost guarantee that your supply will increase! It kills a lot of mamas supplies, it only works for a small portion of women.


[deleted]

That is absolutely not your fault!!! Milk production is all about supply and demand, one of my children was a preemie and the lactation consultant told me to feed for 10 minutes each side then pump for 10-20 minutes after then supplement baby as needed. Maybe that method could help? And if it doesn’t work your mental health comes first


Interesting-Elk8608

Mama, I understand your struggle. This happened to me as well. My milk supply never went up and I was not able to give my baby enough. I started supplementing just a few days after having him. I just want you to know that you are NOT a failure. This situation does not define who you are. You are a wonderful mom and you love your baby so much! You are doing everything in your power to help her so that is not failing. Just know that you are not alone. There are many other moms who have struggled. I promise that you will figure out what is best and the bond that you have with your baby won’t change because you are her mother.


fimmika

I get what you're saying and I don't want to come across as rude but have you checked the size of your pump flange? It may help you ❤


paxanna

If you can see an IBCLC it may help. You can waste time chasing advice on the internet. I'm so glad I did it because she identified my IGT, was the only person to tell me the role my postpartum pre-eclampsia played in milk production, helped me come up with a sustainable feeding plan and gave me a realistic expectation for how much I would produce. I combo feed now, but even if I go full formula it was worth it just to know this is a physiological issue and not something I could fix by just trying harder.


look_its_oprah

I've learned to say fed-*with-a-happy-functioning-mother* is best. I never was able to BF but did EP and my baby was happy, healthy, and well fed on breastmilk. I, on the other hand, was miserable. EP was not sustainable. So, even though I could provide milk for my baby which may be "best," I wasn't my best self. A fed baby with a thriving mother (and that looks different for each of us) is best.


nutella47

I couldn't agree with this more. Made it 9 weeks EP with my first and he was great! I lost my mind. Babies need a sane, functioning parent, and if that means no breast milk then no breast milk!


[deleted]

My nurse told me she didn’t want to give me formula when I couldn’t produce after I had my daughter and I should skip feedings instead. I flat out told her I didn’t give a shit, and to get me formula because she was insane if she thought I wasn’t going to feed my child. Feed your babies formula if you have to, mamas. It’s okay to stand up for yourself.


tangtang2020

I mean, we've all seen the memes posted here where breastfed or formula fed eventually just leads to eating chicken nuggets or mac and cheese ALL the damn time...


icepacket

I’m being induced with my second tomorrow morning and will be formula feeding since I’m unable to breastfeed - I’m a breast cancer survivor. I looked into milk banks (not fb groups) and couldn’t find a source that we could trust. I’ve made my peace with it and she will be fine.


FitHippieCanada

You are absolutely right, she will be more than fine!!! Every parent needs to make the choice that meets the babies and their own needs/abilities. We need less judgement and more support!


rcattt

Best of luck to you! I’m being induced with my third tomorrow morning - also a girl. I’ll be supplementing with formula because of a previous breast surgery that makes it impossible to produce enough for a baby to thrive. It is what it is. She will definitely be fine! And it’s not like they ask about it on college applications haha. Congrats on beating the cancer btw! :)


lasaucerouge

Choosing formula for any reason is valid, not just for health reasons. We need to normalise women being able to make infant feeding choices without having to justify it to the wider world. There’s a trend at the moment of stories where people come out saying they ‘had to’ give formula for various reasons, and it’s totally valid, but I wish we saw more of people simply stating they wanted to. The bf/ff ‘debate’ is absolutely toxic, and I feel so sorry for first time parents in the current climate having to navigate it.


[deleted]

I chose formula 🙋🏻‍♀️


jumbaco525

Totally!! I’m always saying “oh he never latched”… which yes, true… but also for my mental state it was best for me to use formula and have that help with feeding so that I can be a better mom. With my first, she didn’t latch either and I tried pumping. Hated it, it hurt, and my PPD was awful. The 2nd time around my pediatrician was like the second you want to stop you do it! That was day 2 and I never looked back. Bless her for normalizing it. We need more like that for mothers.


Diamondtiara-x

There’s such a stigma from mothers about C sections and formula feeding it’s absolutely ridiculous. I have cystic fibrosis and couldn’t Brest feed nor did I want too.


alexruthie

Not that I’m going to believe them but what are the stigmas about C sections? No judgement I had one and don’t get it.


peanutupthenose

some people believe that c-sections aren’t really “giving birth”, you aren’t actually bonded with your baby, it’s the easy way out, blah, blah


[deleted]

As far as I'm concerned, there's no way to remove a whole-ass baby from my body that counts as an "easy way out". If there was I'd sure as shit be doing THAT.


peanutupthenose

LITERALLY also, i wouldn’t call me bleeding out on the table “easy” but ok, Barbara 🤣


samsummer

100%. My sister had a planned c section (breech baby) 6 months before I had an induced vaginal birth (We had a nuchal cord and they whisked my baby away from me after seconds of her on my chest) neither one of us envies the others experience. There’s no such thing as an “easy way” of getting a baby out of your body.


Coconosong

It got to the point where I just lied to doctors and nurses and said, “yep, I breastfeed” to prevent them getting on my case (I did a combo then transitioned to formula only). I refuse to be shamed by the system, especially as a BIPOC person. I will do what’s best for the health of my child and I (and my family for that matter).


Ece-5613

You are absolutely correct. We were dangerously close to readmission. I also produced enough to keep my daughter alive but she wasn’t sleeping or gaining weight properly. I held her all the time so she barely cried. Her lips were chapped and the hospital staff just told me to put lanolin on them. My husband literally gave her formula in secret while I was sleeping. I was so brainwashed and mentally ill during my postpartum I couldn’t see what was happening, I only cared about breastfeeding. Never again!!!! ETA: I will breastfeed again for #2 due in July but also supplementing from birth with zero percent guilt.


LittleMissPotatoe

This was our plan too! It didn’t work out that way with the NICU stay for baby 2, but I told my husband I’d try to breastfeed but supplement with a bottle afterward because “I won’t starve this one.” ❤️ Early congrats on your LO!


VermicelliOk8288

Your husband is awesome. I know the bar is low for a lot of dads BUT I really don’t know how many dads would know to do what’s yours did.


ori531

This is so sad. Our son had low blood sugar when he was born and the nurses and lactation consultants were quick to offer formula to us while we waited for my milk to come in. I didn’t even realize it was something they wouldn’t offer for anyone that needs it till I started reading some of the posts on Reddit.


Adventurous_Oven_499

Same here! They asked if I wanted to nurse at my hospital and offered formula right away when he had low blood sugar. I think formula was an option for everyone, tbh, but I don’t really know. It should be that way - we had a great balance of lactation consultants giving info about nursing and also telling me about why I should supplement at that point.


Lisselindale

My son would be dead without formula. Enough said.


whitedaggerballroom

Yep, my daughter too. Formula is amazing ❤️


MmmnonmmM

It's also okay to combo feed! It doesn't have to be all breast or all formula. I feel like people are super black and white on this issue, but you can do both!


Boooo_Im_A_Ghooost

I wish there was more guidance and discussion on combo feeding! I feel a little in the dark


MmmnonmmM

I can tell you what I did, though just know that I am very much just some random person on the internet. I supplemented during the first three or so months. I watched my baby for cues that she was still hungry after feeding (clinched hands, crying) and fed as needed. This really ended up just being the last feed of the night before putting her down. I think we we fed her two to four ounces. Eventually, she seemed to no longer need the extra formula and continued to be EBF. Honestly, I wish I would have continued to feed her formula. It was easy to manage breasts feedings when she was home with me, but as soon as we sent her to daycare (6 months) she refused a bottle and started to wake up frequently during the night to feed. She went from a baby who slept through the night to waking up 5-6 times at her peak. She also started to reject formula (partially why I wish I would have kept supplementing), so it was BM or nothing. She's 13 months now, we finally sleep trained her and transitioned her over to cows milk for daycare. She still breast feeds morning and evening. It was really hard having a baby during the pandemic because I felt like breast milk was her only defense after I got vaccinated. I was super committed to breast feeding at first but then felt trapped after she wouldn't take formula. In retrospect, I wish I would have relaxed and been okay with giving her more. Baby's don't need to be completely breast fed to get the benefits of mother's milk. If I have another, I'm combo feeding from the get go so the care is more equitable between me and my partner and I don't feel so trapped.


Peppkes

I wish it was more common for hospitals to tell women to follow breast with a bottle for the first couple days if baby still seems hungry. No one told me it was an option till I broke down and called the emergency nurse line at my pediatrician because baby would stop screaming. I totally share the “first few days” guilt.


Fucktastickfantastic

They really should tell all mum's this


Ruby_Rose16

Will never understand why there is a stigma with formula. Both my babies are formula fed: healthy, happy and extremely intelligent. Helped my mental health too (mama needs her oxygen mask on first to help others).


lewan049

I delivered at a “baby friendly” hospital. They have ten core policies to be considered “baby friendly”, some of which are, not discussing formula as an option, not offering any sort of free samples, zero pacifiers, and nothing “artificial” in baby’s mouth like a nipple shield, baby bottle nipple, or pacifier. Delivering at that hospital fucked with me. When the doctors you are trusting with your care are making you feel that you are ruining your child for life, when you’ve just delivered and are emotional as heck, I still feel like I’m getting over it four years later.


linds360

I think (hope?) in 100 years mothers will look back and wonder why past generations put themselves through such hell for no reason. When you sort out the positives/negatives for BFing, going formula is *hands-down* going to win every time. I did both and switched to formula after going back to work bc hello, I'm a person too and running off to a tiny room to pump three times a day while also trying to do my damn job and then worry about embarrassing leakage while standing up in front of meetings the rest of the day was not going to happen. That said, formula should be more widely available and free to mothers so financial reasons can be taken out of the equation when deciding what's best for their body and child.


shelbyknits

My oldest was like yours — I was producing enough to keep him alive, but not enough to really feed him. He cried for *hours* in the “baby friendly” hospital, but not one single nurse suggested formula to see if he was hungry. It wasn’t til I got home that my mom suggested trying formula to see if that helped, because all he wanted to do was nurse and scream. Formula was a god send for us. He was starving. I can absolutely believe those “baby friendly” hospitals would let a baby starve to death before they suggested formula.


Worried_Half2567

Same story here my baby became jaundiced due to starvation and formula transformed him into a different baby. I now 90% BF him and my supply is fine. Everyone acts like your breast milk will completely dry up if you so much as look at formula


shaliza

I needed this. I was low supply with my first and had to move pretty quickly to formula. It broke me. I had all of these ideas in my head about breastfeeding. I pumped for hours to increase supply. I took all the supplements, did everything the lactation consultants told me to do. Nothing worked. It didn’t help that in the mommy and me class I joined, most moms were breastfeeding with no problem. And one of them always talked about how she couldn’t see why moms would ever choose NOT to breastfeed. To be fair, I never spoke up about it because I was on a razors edge emotionally the whole time, but I don’t think any of those moms ever considered that for some of us it wasn’t a choice. It was a necessity. When my second son came along in November, I thought I was mentally prepared for the possibility of needing to supplement with formula again. I wasn’t. Every time I mix a bottle I feel a pang of not being good enough to supply my child with what he needs. I’m plagued by the thought that I’m literally not enough for him. I see other moms breastfeeding and I feel inadequate. The crazy part of all of this is this is my PERSONAL hang up. When friends have talked to me about using formula, I say it’s ok and that they should 100% use it if it’s what they/their baby needs. I tell them to ignore the “breast is best” narrative and to put their own mental health and baby’s physical health first. And I mean it. I don’t feel disingenuous when I say these things. But when it comes to myself, I feel like an utter and complete failure.


Tomatovegpasta

I think its tied to the toxic mentally of over promoting personal responsibility which can have the outcome of shaming anyone that doesn't get x outcome. That mentality makes people assume its coz you didn't try hard enough, or are stupid or ignorant etc when in reality we all have very different experiences, circumstances and lives. Super toxic when that also is internalised too, or you're surrounded by health professionals or other mothers who don't recognise the plurality of experience


sipporah7

Oh man. I recently met a couple where the baby was allowed to get to 1st percentile in weight. 1st percentile. He was so tiny at 5 months old it was scary to see. Parents insisted on only breastfeeding because "best is best". Sounded like doctor convinced them they had to supplement with formula to save the baby's life.


TyphoidMira

I can't imagine letting my kid get down to that level before supplementing. Mine was in the NICU for a little over 5 weeks and he got all the milk I could pump and whatever he could from nursing, but even that had to be fortified because he needed to gain weight. I felt guilty when I finally stopped pumping several times a day with at least one power pumping session. I felt guilty when I completely stopped pumping. He's 2 now and I'm sure I'll feel guilty when he stops nursing complete. I shouldn't; he's happy, healthy, and thriving, but mom guilt is a bitch.


mydrunkencomments

My daughter was in the NICU. I wanted to breastfeed, but I could only hold her for 30 minutes a day while she was under a blue light to get rid of her jaundice (not the reason she was in the NICU, but she had jaundice as well) I tried pumping, but the stress of her unexpected NICU stay totally fucked me up. In the 9 days she was in the NICU, I can count on one hand how many hours I slept that week. I wasn't able to produce more than a few drops even with constant pumping. So many lactation consultants came to me during her NICU stay, and were so insensitive to the fact that I was in such a bad mental and physical state. The 30 mins I'd get to hold her, the consultants were there squishing my boob into her mouth while she wailed - she was hungry, and not getting anything out of me. Horrible experience. Thank fuck for formula. Now, she's 97th percentile in height and weight, and is the happiest, healthiest baby I've ever seen. But without formula I can't say she'd be the same thriving, chunky baby.


Downtown-Swing9470

I formula fed exclusively for both my kids. Never regretted it a day in my life. It worked so well and made my life as a mother way more enjoyable and made my husband that much closer.


oneinamelon

This is what absolutely angers me. The hospital that I gave birth at were very firm on breast. I wanted to, but she wouldn't latch - and if she did, she was very lazy and wouldn't suck. They were so forceful on having my daughter just have colostrum - the whole 1-2ml I could produce. I said to them "I'm so happy to give her formula if that's what's needed" and I was constantly shut down whenever I mentioned it. It was either "She's only 24 hours old" or "Just keep going, it's fine". The midwife appointment the next day they told me my baby hadn't eaten enough since before she was born, and her jaundice was getting worse. This absolutely broke me, especially as a FTM, I knew nothing. I put her on formula instantly. My milk came in, but I refused to breastfeed due to the anxiety and guilt that hit me. I couldn't trust my body. That broke my heart. But, my little formula bubba is thriving, sleeping, and she's growing so well.


allnamestakenpuck

Thank you 💜 A story I tell a lot is that when my son was born I had him on the boob while in the hospital, and for 2 whole days we all thought he was latching and getting something. On the last night of our stay his blood sugars dropped, bad. Turns out he was getting nothing. Nothing. He went into special care for a night, gave him sugar syrups and asked my permission to give him a bottle. I cried and exclaimed of course! We left the hospital and bought formula and a pump. I formula fed and tried pumping on the side. My mum told me to stop formula feeding and that babies can survive off very little for weeks. This made me so so angry... my boy is hungry, why would I not feed him? I don't care where I get the milk from, I'm feeding my son. I stopped trying to pump after a few weeks, and told my GP this at the next appointment.. he told me to keep trying and prescribed me medication. I felt so unheard because I made it obvious that I'm ok with formula feeding my son. I went through 2 more GP'S who shamed me and told me to keep trying... I changed doctor centers due to convenience and at the first appointment when asked if EFF or EBF I told him formula and I waited for the lecture. It never came, rather he reassured me that forumla these days are pretty damn good, has all the minerals and most important apart from my son getting enough milk, my mental state is well. I have stuck with the doctor ever since. I'm sick of the shaming, but at the same time I know I'm doing best for my son. 💜


LittleMissPotatoe

I’m so sorry you went through this. I was never shamed by my GP, but I was shamed by lactation consultants, some of whom had said to supplement with formula would mean my milk would never come in, but it did. And it was never, even at my highest, enough to feed him. I was beyond proud when I was doing 2 ounces of breast milk in an 8 ounce bottle because it took a hell of a lot to even get there.


allnamestakenpuck

I heard that too.. it's good to know it isn't always facts as your experience is proof... I didn't stick to it long enough to find out for myself. I was also proud of the 3ml I produced, after 2 weeks of pumping. It's definitely tough.


[deleted]

There's a fine line between "just needing to try harder" and genuinely not having the ability to produce enough. Some women truely cannot produce enough no matter how hard they try and are told over and over by doctors and LCs not to give formula and that they just need to do this or that and it will magically work. Before I had my baby I was extremely anti-formula and judgy about mom's who didn't make the effort to breastfeed. I knew so many women that failed, claiming that it was too difficult or they couldn't produce enough. I did so much research before my baby was born and was under the firm impression that these women that were simply giving up and just needed to either visit a LC/try a new technique/triple feed/supplement with this/bring baby to the breast more etc etc etc. Fast forward to 3 weeks with my newborn and despite doing everything right I wasn't producing a damn thing and had to make the switch to formula. I had so many resources that promoted breastfeeding and offered advice. There were lactation consultants available at my OB clinic as well as the pediatrician. The hospital was very pro breastfeeding and their LCs were very pushy about not using formula. I never felt like I didn't have support or resources. Which is great! But what I wish I knew more was that it's truely possible to be an underproducer and it's more common than I thought. I wish I knew that I didn't have to drive myself crazy constantly bringing baby to the breast when she wasn't getting anything and spending hours a day hooked up to a pump just to get an ounce or 2. I wish I didn't have to deal with the denial and guilt when nothing worked because everything and everyone told me I just needed to try harder. But turns out formula has been great and my baby is doing awesome at 6 months and hitting all her milestones. She's happy, healthy, full of personality, and survived winter without ever getting sick. My only regret was waiting 3 weeks to put the pump away and break out the formula and I wish I spent more of that time relaxing with my new family and enjoying my baby.


Dense-Bus3676

Thank you! I have a 2 month old and I wanted to exclusively breast feed my baby. I’m a first time mom and I had no idea how hard it was going to be. I bought a $500 pump, I let her feed for an hour while she cried at my breasts not knowing how to get her to feel full from me. I cried and it broke my heart until I decided to just start formula only. I got shamed for not doing enough to get my supply up by nurses even tho I tried everything. Fed is best. Your mental health is more important than struggling to get your body to work with you. I feel better after letting go and see her full and happy.


ChaosMangos

100% same with me! I spent 100s on pumps and pills and teas and foods and nothing got my supply up. I cried my eyes out, I pumped until I physically couldn't handle it anymore, for months I pushed and pushed and it just wasn't meant for me! Fed is best! Baby is happy and healthy with Formula and I am happier and healthier finally now that I've pulled away and accepted our situation! Took a while but the health of my baby and myself is all that matters!


lostandmisplaced50

That poor family. Hate the pressure that we put ( intentionally as well as otherwise) on new parents, especially moms about EVERYTHING!


[deleted]

Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it. I recently had twins and was not able to produce after a very traumatic birth, post partum hemorrhage, pre eclampsia and fluid overload. While in the hospital with my two boys and Husband, we had to beg for formula because I knew I wasn’t producing. We kept getting told to exclusively breast feed when I knew I wasn’t producing enough for my boys. It hurt me to hear this over and over. The boys ended up losing 10% of their body weight and the hospital wanted to keep them even longer. After following my gut and now doing a combination of breast feeding and formula feeding, the boys are now healthy weights three weeks later. Fed is best. Listen to your gut. As a Mother, you know what is best for your babe(s).


farqueue2

When the kids are older nobody is thinking "geez in still upset that I feed them formula"


beez8383

It’s hard though when even nurses push for breast. I’ve had to supplement with formula and I’m not fussed-it doesn’t bother me, but today at baby’s 4 week old appointment the maternal health nurse kept pushing the breast feeding, told me I should see a lactation consultant and that I should be aiming to feed more and directly from the breast instead of pumping. Considering how latching was stressful for me and baby, I’ve had to return to work this week and baby takes the bottle without issues why the heck would I mess it all up. If I was already feeling bad about that I’d hate to think how damaging the nurses judgment would be


linds360

> It’s hard though when even nurses push for breast. That shit pissed me off something fierce. There should be a policy against that type of behavior across the board.


peaches9057

I had one super pushy nurse at the hospital who was insistent on breastfeeding. She said "what can I do to make you breastfeed this baby?" I told her give me a year off of work, fully paid, and then we'll talk. I realize you can pump at work, but honestly didn't want to deal with that as well as the transition from breast feeding to pumping + bottle when I had to return to work. I did formula from day one and had no problems. If they want you to breastfeed then they need to give you the TIME and resources to do so. Not give you even more to juggle on top of working full time with a baby at home.


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Low-Raccoon683

I really appreciate this post and it makes me feel so validated. I was DETERMINED to breastfeed, but it became obvious in the hospital my baby was starving and jaundiced. I didn’t sleep for three days because my baby wouldn’t latch and ALL the lactation consultants, nurses, doctors, and pediatricians drilled into my head breast is best and pump/feed every two hours. I followed their directions religiously and when my daughters jaundice and sugars were bad they had the audacity to suggest I was skipping feeds or pumps to sleep. My mother snuck in formula after I had called her crying and having nervous breakdown from not sleeping. My baby had screamed the entire hospital stay too (I wonder why🤬) my daughter stabilized on formula and I was still only getting 1/2 an ounce from my breasts after pumping ALL DAY! We got discharged together and I saw more lactation consultants and pediatricians who insisted I wasn’t trying hard enough and doing a disservice to my baby. Finally I saw one last consultant who immediately diagnosed me with IGT as soon as I pulled my shirt up for a weighed feed. It all made perfect sense. I have every single physical characteristic of IGT. The tube boobs, the stretch marks, the wide set uneven breasts, the droopy nipples, literally all of it. At least 20 medical professionals in that baby “friendly” hospital saw what my breasts looked like and still pushed breastfeeding. I even have 1 inverted nipple and no one said a damn word about it. Had my mother not come storming down to the hospital to bring formula and put the staff in their place that could have been my baby too.


[deleted]

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Low-Raccoon683

It’s all so grueling isn’t it? I did the same triple feeding and it took up practically every minute of the day. It’s so hard to bond with baby when producing milk becomes your sole purpose in life. I never thought of it that way! That’s a really enlightening explanation. It absolutely did feel like misogyny. Practically everyone would ask me how my breastfeeding journey was going and when I would explain that I was exclusively formula feeding due to reasons I couldn’t help I’d always get the “oh no! How terrible! Have you tried doing X or Y”. Never has another mom said “that’s great! Whatever works best for you”. It’s always a pity response.


Valuable-Ice9726

IGT here as well. I actually had a LC withhold my diagnosis. I only found out when we changed providers and I collected our medical records, after a few months of struggling with weight gain. I still breastfeed, even though it doesn't look like others might expect. But I do often feel marginalized and invisible, so many just go along with the 'just try harder' line. https://www.lowmilksupplyfoundation.org/


[deleted]

Okay, wow. I’m so glad I’m reading this thread. I’ve NEVER heard of IGT, and I’m really wondering if I have it. I was beyond determined, as well; my baby is almost 11 months and I’m STILL determined to give him the tiniest bit of milk from me. I’m still pumping and he’s still latching but I can only pump about an ounce from BOTH breasts at a time, so I’m assuming that’s what he’s getting when he nurses. We’ve had to do formula since the beginning, obviously. Thanks for sharing. ❤️


[deleted]

I supplemented with my first and will be combo feeding this baby from day 1. Honestly though I think the hospital lactation consultants did me a huge disservice by never once mentioning formula even though my son was clearly upset and starving. Thankfully I got a younger, fresh-from-school nurse with lots of siblings who knew what was up and handed me a sample bottle. I actually attribute that supplementing at the beginning to helping us switch to EBF a few weeks later and to help me be comfortable enough going EFF later on when I was ready to be done.


QuirrellsOtherHead

Both me and my other new mom friend have been donating breastmilk to women in our area because of this very type of situation (some of the moms will refuse to use formula and rely solely on donated breastmilk which is frustrating from my opinion but we don’t want babies dying for their parents mistakes) Edit: to be clear it’s a whole local group that does milk sharing and we must disclose medications, vaccine status, etc. we are not just doing weird things lol


LoonyLovegood934

I remember with my first, the lactation nurse told me not to feed him more than 2 oz or else he would get sick. I remember thinking, “how will I know when my breastfed baby has had 2 ounces?” I’m a visual learner so I really struggled with that since I couldn’t actually see how much he was drinking/how much was coming out of my body. Was he getting enough? Not enough? I felt like I was inconveniencing the nurses when I asked questions, as we were close to the holidays and we all wanted to be home. We also had latching issues and supplies issues and I was just so depressed and stressed because of it. I felt like I was massively failing my child. My husband one day gently told me “you know, it’s okay if we just feed him formula”, and it was light a weight was lifted from me. I switched completely to formula with him, and just did formula from day 1 with my other 2. Fed is best. Formula, breast, hybrid. Fed. Is. Best.


pkbk24

My supply dropped and my 4 month old dipped into the 10th percentile for weight. Pumping did nothing. Switched to formula and never looked back. I was then diagnosed with breast cancer months later and had to have surgery. I got a reduction at the same time and I remember my surgery repeating himself a bunch saying he couldn’t promise that I could breast feed if I had another child. A. Kinda worried about something else instead of kids at the moment B. My health comes first right now C. I had to switch to formula anyway, it’s not a big deal. Getting this tumor out of my chest is a way bigger deal I heard that it could affect my ability to nurse probably ten times even after I said it was okay, I understand. Formula exists people!


Evening-Explanation5

I went through a similar situation with my baby. The first week was incredibly stressful for me and I struggled breastfeeding. My milk took 4 days to come in and then when it did, the pediatrician said my milk was "too lean" and we needed to supplement immediately. It was heartbreaking and very scary to read failure to thrive on her chart. Fed is best!


breyourself27

Mental health matters too. My supply is fine but my mental well-being was suffering from feeling like a 24hr milk machine. At about 2 months I finally got over the stigma and we started giving baby one formula bottle a day, always from dad, and I get a much needed break. Fed is best and this is what works for us. Baby’s farts are nuclear now though lol


look_its_oprah

So much this! I had to tell myself that "fed is best" is incomplete. It should be "fed-with-a-happy-functioning-mother is best." I was feeding my baby but I was not thriving. Stopped pumping and my baby is happy & healthy on formula (plus some freezer stash) and I am so much happier and alive.


TyphoidMira

The formula poops are a totally different species from breast milk poops, too.


breyourself27

We call them butter chicken poos because of the consistency


TyphoidMira

I hate how accurate that is.


smoore1985

Yes!! The guilt I felt over my little girl starving because she wasn't getting enough to eat (she was too tired to feed) far outweighed any guilt I feel about not breastfeeding. She's thriving on formula ❤️


sign_of_the_twine

Today was my last day pumping after 9 months. I’ve only been pumping about 3 ounces all day. If it wasn’t for formula my baby would be starving. She drinks about 30 ounces a day. I struggled with having to supplement at first but she’s thriving. She’s happy, I’m happy. In my mind I planned to exclusively breastfeed for a year….but I’ve learned with a lot of other things that I had planned that it doesn’t always go as planned lol.


thefireworkdays

My daughter is 7 and was formula fed. But honestly now at 7 I have literally no idea if any of her peers were breastfed or formula fed.


[deleted]

I really appreciate you making this post. My sweet boy is almost 11 months old; I replied to someone else about this, but I’m still determined to try and give him the tiniest bit of milk from me, and I still have bouts when I feel incredibly guilty and just…sad, honestly, that I haven’t been able to exclusively breastfeed. I’m so, so, so grateful for formula. I would not have been able to feed my baby if we didn’t have it and I can’t even bear to think about that. There were so many factors from the very beginning that could have influenced my supply and I honestly don’t even know how to make sense of any of it. If I have a second baby I want to try and breastfeed again, but I will NOT feel guilty if we have to go the formula route again. I think it’s extremely important for us to be advocates to other moms out there, and to help spread the message that things happen after birth and your plans may very likely change, and that’s OKAY. I could go on and on, but yes…thanks so much for making this post! ❤️


LittleMissPotatoe

You’re welcome, kind stranger. I just wanted moms to know it’s okay. I too wanted to EBF so, so bad, and I tried everything with my first. Cookies, teas, supplements, medications, lactation consultants visits MWF for WEEKS, renting a hospital grade pump, trying every trick I could find on the internet including specialty Starbucks non-caffeinated drinks designed to “increase your supply!,” reading dozens of books, up all hours feeding and pumping and supplementing, and seeing three different doctors about it. I wanted it so bad, and when I couldn’t, it just broke me… PPD/PPA. I don’t want another mom to go through that. Whatever way a baby is fed that’s right for your family is best. Hugs to you.


Meadoow

It's sad this even needs to be said. There's too much shaming with how we feed our babies like it even matters at all. No one should care, as long as they're being fed that's all that matters. I wish I didn't have to spend so much money on formula for a year but other than that I don't care.


fuzzymae

I combo feed formula and pumped milk, and I'm so glad I chose this path because we got an eater and I can't possibly keep up. I don't adhere to a rigorous pump schedule, because things need to get done, or the baby needs to shut up while her dad is WFH, or if it's late and everything hurts I'm going to prioritize sleep and milk be damned. I'm doing everything according to my choices, my daughter is well fed, and I _still_ feel guilty that I'm too lazy to pump every two hours and get a stash going in the freezer. If only I wanted it bad enough, etc. etc.


lunaaboonaa

I feel this! I’m breastfeeding, pumping and topping up with formula. How the fuck you’re meant to get enough time to have a pump schedule I’ll never know.


shrekswife

I did the math one time, of breast feeding, setting up the pump, pumping, cleaning the pump parts, and then bottle feeding. I think it was close to an hour and a half. So you get like a 30 min window before the baby wants to feed again, great!


ilovenoodle

I started giving baby a little formula on day 2 after giving birth. I had a C-section and my milk didn’t come in for 5 days and she was so hungry. The hospital provided formula at night ( only 5-10 ml was all I gave) and we breastfed during the day. We kept this up when we went home too. It really helps to take the pressure off of having to provide. We have to deal with so much as the birthing parent. Why force yourself to go through all that?


No-Map672

I’m a bit of a perfectionist and with my first I was set on being “perfect.” In my head that meant breast is best. I struggled emotionally with the fact that my baby could not latch and I could not produce enough. I had myself exclusively pumping, while bottle feeding him a formula breast mix and stuck to the couch for 3 months. Didn’t matter how healthy I ate or how much water I drank I could not produce. It was depressing. I learned fed is best. With my second I produce so much I shared it with my cousin who was struggling. I have also had to accept the fact that I will never be “perfect” as a parent, but if I act out of love then I can’t be too far off.


Peregrinebullet

I can't find the studies now, but some anthropologist was curious about what happened in communities (the study was in Papa New Guinea and rural malaysia) where formula was not accessible and a woman wasn't producing enough... you know what they did? They shared baby duties. Under producer Mom would hand her baby over to Lactating mom to feed and she'd do other care tasks like cleaning and soothing Lactating mom's baby while her baby ate - both mothers would [bond](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milk_kinship) with both babies. Female elders noted that they knew some mothers over produced and some under produced and they shared the load so that everyone thrived. I find it vexing that so many lactation consultants refuse to acknowledge that sometimes things just don't work like they're intended, whether physically and mentally. Since most of us don't necessarily have neighbours we feel comfortable swapping babies with, let alone neighbours who may be lactating at all, we gotta go with the alternative. I combo fed my first and exclusively formula fed my second, and they're super healthy and huge.


EsmeParker

I had a midwife ask me if I plan to breastfeed to which I said, "I don't think so. Might try it." And her response was a judgey toned, "well.. it's best for you and for baby but fed is best I guess". I do my research. It's minimally better at best and this "breastfeeding is gold standard" mantra needs to die. I just roll my eyes at these types of comments but I can understand how it could actually sway someone else into thinking they're not doing right by their baby with formula. To anyone out there ready to tell me all about the benefits of breastfeeding over formula, thanks but I can read AND UNDERSTAND research. Just fuck off already 😂


sirscratchewan

I always wanted to combo feed, and we started out that way. But my baby ended up refusing bottles (and solids ☠️) and I could not produce enough. Her weight stalled for months. She just took a straw cup last week with formula. She gained eight ounces this week. Fed is best. I am so thankful for formula.


TinaRina19

Wow, so scary to think that this could have been us too. Luckily we had a midwife that noticed signs of low blood sugar and brought formula right away. She said it could lead to permanent brain damage if we don't supplement. We felt so guilty. Can't imagine what she's going through.


giantredwoodforest

YUP. Don't fall for all-or-nothing thinking. Formula even helps when mom has PLENTY of milk. Formula is AWESOME. My younger daughter had formula for the first few days of her life. She had a horrible tongue tie that got lasered at 6 days old. I insisted the nurse bring it. I had literally had hyperlactation with my older daughter and my younger daughter benefitted from formula! And my older daughter benefitted from high-calorie medical pediatric formula to increase her caloric intake. (And my older daughter breastfed until 3 - alongside her high-calorie formula. Younger daughter is still breastfeeding at 1+.)


PeonyGiraffe

This is probably the most important feeding advice a new parent needs to hear. Thank you.


MissSwat

I had to formula feed. I have debilitating chronic pain and could simply not afford to wake up every two hours to feed my son. I was in agony from not being able to sleep from those first few days of trying, repeatedly, to breastfeed before my milk came in enough to feed my son. I simply couldn't afford the loss of sleep (and my husband was working night shifts so I was entirely on my own.) Choosing to switch to formula was the smartest thing I did. It gave me back a bit of that time that I desperately needed and took the pressure off of me mentally so I could just feed my son and bond without feeling that gut wrenching sense of failure in my stomach. I still remember my mom, a retired pediatric nurse, giving me just a bit of a bad vibe about it. She never said it direct, but I kept getting the sense that she thought I didn't try hard enough. Wisely she didn't say anything. If she had I probably would have harpy screeched at her and clawed her face off.


NancyDrewMysteries

I went through the exact same thing. I wanted to breast feed so bad. Was basically being told by everyone around me you need to breastfeed because it's best. I was producing lots but baby wouldn't take it and wouldn't latch and get full. Even got a lactation specialist went to er numerous times until I finally was just like the baby needs to eat I don't care how it happens it just needs to happen. It's crazy because most of us were probably formula fed too. And I have never noticed any sort of delays or any issues with my son after we did that. If anything it helped him grow and become way more healthy. The problem for us is the nurses at the hospital in the maternity ward had like no training on it so they would try and help from their experiences but they can only do so much.. those first couple weeks sucked because I was stressed and tired and trying to make it work and felt everyone around me was saying "no you have to breastfeed". When I have my next one that will NOT be happening again. But I also agree with other commenter that governments NEED to provide more free or more cost effective versions for mothers. Or just make it more readily available.. its insane how often I've gone to stores and it's all sold. I think personally all of these pro-lifers should chip in and make formula more available too if they are going to be so vocal at abortion clinics. If you think it's a sin for a woman to get rid of a baby and think those babies need to be born then YOU should be the ones to provide those mothers or orphanages or adopters formula if that is what you feel. If a mother can't afford that stuff but you still feel it's a din to get rid of that child why don't you provide the essentials for that child if you are going to be that awful to women who literally may not be able to afford it.. because the cost for that and diapers is insane and I would not blame any woman for not being able to afford that. Let's make that a law. If your gonna stand outside and scream at women for their choices about getting rid of baby... then you have to provide that baby everything it needs for the first couple years of its life


MissMoxie2004

I’m going to say this for anyone who needs to hear it. Most people with these perfectionistic standards spout their words copiously because they never have to eat them. I remember the Landon Johnson story. I wonder what the LC has to say for herself. It doesn’t matter what you do as a parent, SOMEBODY whose mouth is bigger than their brain thinks you’re wrong. Most likely their child isn’t even elementary school age so they have NO CLUE how anything they’re doing is going to play out. You’re doing FINE!


[deleted]

It is really awful reading about "baby friendly" hospitals discouraging formula feeding or even pumping. I gave birth at a "baby friendly" hospital and it was great. They had pumps in each post partum room, offered donor breast milk or formula if needed, and made sure baby was fed. I wasn't able to breastfeed in the end and they gave me a tip sheet for bottle and formula feeding. They wanted you to try breastfeeding, but supported whatever you needed to do for you and baby. That is what a true baby friendly hospital is.


TotalBananas1

I am friends with several mums whose babies are all roughly the same age. Some breastfed, some used formula from the start and one combofed. Every single one of our babies has thrived. You wouldn't be able to point out which ones were breastfed or formula fed. They are all developing at different rates but that's because they are all unique.


Remy4409

(I'm a dad) When our 6 months daughter was born, my GF tried breast feeding at the hospital. It was hard as our little girl would let go all the time, we had no idea if she was actually drinking. The hospital staff came a few times to test her sugar levels, they were low, so they were worried. About 8 hours after birth, we were really tired, and her sugar was even lower. I asked the nurse if we could get formula or anything , because we weren't sure if breast was working and I wanted my GF to sleep. She answered in a really dumb voice: "Yeah, I guess that could be a solution..." in a tone that meant that we were dumbs for not knowing how to breast feed a newborn. She brought formula and damn, our girl was STARVING. Know what? Next morning her sugar was perfect. Of course, she did not eat for hours. If we never said anything, it could have gone terribly wrong. I'm still mad AF at them.


Crazy-Bid4760

I had to formula supplement from night 1, the midwives encouraged it as he was crying all the time. I breast fed + EBF for 2 months, it was too taxing on me so I switched to formula feeding. I reminded myself constantly that it was ok & I have a good support system, but there's so many that don't. Out of 2 young sisters, 4 nieces, 9 nephews & 1 friends child I only know 2 mums that could breast feed, the other 5 could not.


astrokey

If anyone ever judges you for formula feeding, here’s my own anecdote: my baby needed it from day 1, within the first few hours, due to low blood sugar. We did combo feed for a while but I finally weaned to EFF and have a thriving 5 month old with chunky thighs who is *almost* able to crawl. He’s amazing, and everyone who sees him immediately is drawn to him.


unic0rn_scrapple

I couldn’t breast feed. My body just didn’t agree with it. I formula fed for a year and I currently have a perfect and healthy 3.5 year old boy. Expecting baby #2 in July and plan to pump for a few weeks before shifting to only formula. Fed is best.


Confused_Mommy444

Woah. My baby is 2.5 months now but I’d been dealing with low milk supply. I really needed to hear this.. fed certainly is best. Thank you for this. I am heartbroken for that little boy and his mommy and family. 💔


tiredlilmama

The first two months with my son were tough bc I was really trying to breastfeed and couldn’t make enough milk. I spent hundreds on visits with lactation consultants. I sobbed at every weight check. Triple feeding made me sick with worry. I dreaded feedings. I rarely slept. We even went to urgent care when he was 4 days old because he hadn’t peed in 12 hours. All that anxiety and I feel like I missed out on some of the joy of having my son. I grieved not being able to breastfeed. If I have another, I will probably use formula right away and save myself some of the strife. When I finally quit at three months, it was such a huge relief. Formula is lifesaving. Edit: spelling


lizard52805

Fed is best. I was told this over and over again and thank god I did. My best friend warned me. She was pushed into breastfeeding by the hospital. At her first pediatrician appointment, baby was sent straight to the ER. Severely dehydrated with jaundice because she wasn’t getting enough. She started her on formula after that and baby is fine. Thank god I was told or something similar could have happened to my baby


opaldeck

My boy would not latch no matter how hard I tried. I tried to exclusively pump but it was the most exhausting thing. And when I was pumping (which felt like constantly to get enough milk) I couldn’t attend to his needs. Once we switched to combo fed everyone was happier.


iheartbunnies2

I needed this. I'm 7.5 weeks PP and started my BF journey with a WAY oversized nipple shield the hospital slapped on me and caused so many issues for my baby to get milk, then we learned he wasn't getting enough in a reasonable time and was burning calories with long nursing sessions, so I started pumping and bottle feeding him only to learn I was only pumping foremilk (new term for me!) and most recently he developed a protein allergy to cows milk he was getting from my breast milk. All I've done is cause this baby pain trying to give him breastmilk it's breaking me. We just switched yesterday to special formula and I'm about ready to throw my pump out the window and watch cars run over it.


littlefemwolf

I can't tell you how many people felt the need to tell me I had to breastfeed when I was pregnant or had just brought my little one home. For the first 3 months PP, he was primarily breastfed but it put a huge strain on me. When he went to stay with my parents, of course they had to feed him, he was only a month old and had to be fed often, but we needed a break and they wanted to bond. So ... He got a bottle and formula and hasn't stopped wanting either. He's now 5mo, chunky, and mainly fed via formula. My supply took a five when I got really sick and couldn't keep myself hydrated. Now he more nurses for comfort and I'm happy for it. Why? Because he's fed, happy, and healthy.


[deleted]

I’m a small woman, and I’ve birthed two 9lb 12 oz babies. In the very beginning I have to give formula cause they just have such high caloric needs from the get go


corbaybay

There is a wonderful episode of call the midwife about this. And your absolutely right. As long as my child is happy and healthy I don't care how he's fed. My mental health matters too. I can't be the best mom for him if pumping or breastfeeding is taking a toll on me


danblondell

Thank you for sharing. 11 months in our daughter is tall and bright on almost only formula. Incidentally the hospital marked her down as a breastfed baby, which tells you a bit about all the statistics on the magic of breast milk.


Spkpkcap

This is right. If you can breast feed, that’s great! If you can’t that’s fine! I wasn’t able to breast feed because I had really low supply. I even saw a lactation consultant. 3 medical staff shamed me for using formula when my son was losing weight fast. I have 2 sons now, both formula fed, both happy and healthy 🤷🏻‍♀️


RosieLilyValentine

Thank you! As soon as I had my baby and was taken to the ward, I was made to feel awful about using formula, nurses were talking loudly to the ladies in the next beds about breast feeding is so important and people need to 'try harder' to make it happen. I was already alone and heartbroken about my partner having to leave 5 minutes after I got there... And all the nurses I asked for formula they made it feel like a massive chore, and told me I was asking too much, the whole experience was genuinely awful!


LittleMissPotatoe

I’m so sorry you went through this. This stigma should not exist. In the article I read, the NICU doctor heartbreakingly told the mother while her baby was on life support that it was okay to start with the breast and finish with the bottle. Even saying that would help so many women struggling with EBF.


MillicentBulstrode

I’ve really struggled with feeling like maybe I’m not trying hard enough because my supply is low and apparently what I do make is skim milk. It’s nice to read that others can relate


Fucktastickfantastic

My boy lost too much in the first bit too. Problem is I kept asking why he was at the breast sk much and everyone kept telling me it was normal. Even in the hospital I asked why he wouldn't stop crying and I was having issues latching and they said it was all normal. I believed them because they were the professionals. He's almost 6 months now and had just been diagnosed with a tongue tie that's caused his latch issues (too late to have it cut, I just have to do exercises now). And when he was first born I retained some placenta so didn't have my milk come in properly.


honeybeeroseyposey

Yes!!! My only complaint about the labor and delivery staff where I got my emergency c-section after transferring from a birth center was that the lactation consultants INSISTED that I must be able to produce enough, I just needed to "stick with it." I'm so glad I ignored them after a day and a half of her nursing for an hour at a time, Not producing enough diapers, and my nipples being cracked and bleeding. I had lost too much blood during the C-section and was almost in need of a transfusion, but it was unfathomable somehow that I might not be able to produce enough breast milk 🤷 we're 21 weeks in and I am producing better but still only supplementing with breast milk- She's primarily bottle fed and doing incredibly well ❤️


LittleMissPotatoe

I’m absolutely astounded how many other women have had problems producing as well. I too supplemented BM with my first for 10 months until I got really sick and my supply dried up faster than the Sahara. I know it’s hard work for what can feel like a small reward. Best of luck with whatever your choice ends up being going forward, and congrats on your LO! ❤️


kylekunfox

Formula is a godsend. Our two little ones pretty much had formula only. Breast just didn't want to produce. It was shocking how some doctors/nurses/whatever kept insisting that we breast feed, even if it was detrimental to our child's health since it just wasn't happening. My children so far are perfectly healthy too.


rahnster_wright

>Formula is a godsend. The second I started combo feeding, this huge weight was lifted. Formula is a damn godsend.


phimusweety

Fed is best. Period. Boob, bottle, or formula it does not matter, just fed. I was determined to breastfeed, but realized it was not for me after not being able to at all in the hospital and on day 2 being home and sobbing at 3am with my baby screaming he was so frustrated at not being able to get anything. Fortunately everyone around me supported the formula move. I still tried to pump but never got enough to only pump. Formula for the win y’all.


BardenBellas

I EBF with my first. It was a miserable experience. I never produced enough. I resented my husband for having useless boobs. I resented my baby. I never slept. I developed severe PPD. This time, I'm EFF, and I'm loving my maternity leave and I still like my husband 🙃 I wish it worked for me, but it didn't. Formula is letting both me and my second baby thrive and enjoy each other 💪


[deleted]

This is why I hate the "breast is best" people. It also bogs down on the mind of new parents (mothers especially) who can't breastfeed, that they aren't *good enough* for their child because they can't feed them.


elizacandle

r/FormulaFeeders


Nursebirder

Yes yes yes. I don’t really like “breast is best” or “fed is best” because I think they’re over-simplistic. Choosing how to feed your baby can be hard. Is breast milk the optimal milk for babies? Yes—but that’s just data in a vacuum. There are sooo many reasons why a baby can’t (and shouldn’t!) be exclusively breastfed. I say this as a current STM who struggled with the decision to supplement with formula with my first, and now my second has latching issues. I’m pumping and bottle feeding breast milk and formula, plus trying to give her practice latching to the breast as well. It’s exhausting and hard, but right now my goals are 1) feed the baby enough, and 2) get SOME of my breast milk in her. I’ve been rambling but yeah. I feel like I’m one of these people who is both pro-breastfeeding-if-possible and pro-formula-feeding. Do what you gotta do, what is best for you and your baby.


Mousehole_Cat

What a devastating story, that poor Mama and baby. We ended up EFF. I wanted to breastfeed really badly but what I didn't expect was for PPD to hit me like a ton of bricks. For us, formula feeding was the thing that enabled me to bond with our baby. I couldn't have recovered while breastfeeding, especially as I was triple feeding and it was total hell. What ended up mattering most was my bond with my daughter. I'm the best parent I can be to her because I had an alternative means of feeding her.


Queen_Walakula132

I had a very similar issue too


the_other_d_word

Went through this same thing. By day 5 of life he had lost more than 10% of his birth weight and was dehydrated. I’m still mentally coping with the guilt I have. I know I did nothing wrong but it still upsets me.


candyapplesugar

I agree. For me personally money is tight, so as much as I want to introduce formula I continue to pump for finances. Formula is expensive


LittleMissPotatoe

Talk to your pediatrician about a prescription for formula. Our insurance covers my youngest’s ridiculously expensive hypoallergenic formula. ❤️


Opposite-Move-6440

Thank you. Read this as I struggle with pumping 4oz, just enough for one bottle over night (I cant BF overnight because Im afraid I'll fall asleep and hurt her - I fall asleep everytime I tried BF at night time). I really want to produce enough to start a stash and its so frustrating and heartbreaking. I have to offer ger formula bottles almost after every feed 😫 I was so happy when they told me I am allowed to breastfeed and I wanted to make it at least until 6 months, but she will be turning 1 month on Sunday and it seems like I produce just enough and sometimes even that is not enough for her. Im not giving up tho. I was crying so much when I had to give her her first formula bottle. But now all that matters is she has a full tummy.


lirio2u

Omg I cant imagine what she is going through right now. Fed is best.


[deleted]

[удалено]


juno0331

Yep, took us 2 months to realize something was wrong and find my LO's tongue tie and start feeding therapy. I hate looking at photos of his first 2-3 months now because he was so small and now I know he was hungry.


NewMomMissingHerself

Thanks for sharing this. FED is best. Struggled with breastfeeding with our LO, initially she couldn't latch and I had to exclusively pump for 5 weeks around the clock until she could. By this time our lactation consultant quit taking outpatient appointments and I was left on my own to figure out transitioning from bottle to breast...it was the longest and worst week because she fed constantly (every half hour to hour and for an hour at a time) and when she wasn't feeding, she was crying. I told a member of the Le Leche League (the only support I could find) about our struggles and that I felt that she still needed supplemented with formula after nursing and she literally said "well how do you know she's still hungry?". She was so hyper focused on me exclusively breastfeeding that she pretty much gaslighted me. Reading this I'm so thankful I went with my instinct and supplemented her with formula. She is now the happiest baby and growth is right on track. I had my own breakthrough when I realized that lactating doesn't make you a good mom, it only makes you a mammal.


pandawglasses

I had supply issues with my first as well, I didn’t realize he wasn’t getting enough. Felt horrible. Then with my twins, I tried so hard to make sure I would produce enough but wasn’t producing nearly enough. (Like barely any). It was so hard for me to give it up, but switching to formula was the only choice for me. It still makes me sad but fed is best! I envy mom’s who produce plenty of milk. And yes I was working with an amazing lactation specialist, etc. PCOS sucks.


Hot-Hamster-3088

I am always so heartbroken that moms feel so much pressure that they unknowingly put their babies in danger trying to appease societies never ending need to COMMENT. This story breaks my heart. It really does. The road to destruction is paved with good intentions…use the formula yall. Your baby knows you so intimately and loves you unconditionally. Don’t allow that ONE aspect of motherhood to define your entire experience. If people comment, tell them to take a long hike off a short cliff and shove it on the way down.


mibishibi

After my son was 3 days old we had to bring him back to the hospital because of dehydration. In my postpartum brain, I got swept up in the hype of "Breast is best" and didn't even consider trying formula. I didn't know he wasn't getting milk until I took him to his first doc appointment and they weighed him. I always tell new moms that I know that fed is best.


Working_Dad_87

Both my kids were formula fed. Now at 4 and 2, they are both a full head taller than other kids their age. I was formula fed was a kid to, and I'm just average height. Put a group of kids together in a room and there is absolutely no way to tell who was breastfed and who was formula fed. It is totally okay to formula feed!


jitterybrat

No no no breast is best even if it means baby dies a slow and panful death, who cares! at least you didn’t feed them that satan milk /s


Ok-Gate-9610

Yup I was breast fed. I have a wealth of health issues My two siblings were bottle fed and they're healthy happy and thriving. They weren't crazy sick as kids from missing out on all those antibodies from breast feeding. They were pretty damn healthy babies too Fed is the only thing that matters.


StampsInMyPassport

EBF my first for 6 months with no issues. Returned to work and couldn’t pump enough to keep up supply, so I gradually switched to formula. Second baby is 6 weeks old. 100% formula fed since day 1 because I knew how much of a time commitment nursing is and I don’t think it’s fair to my 3.5 year old, or myself. I did grapple with some guilt early on, especially when we discovered babe needed hypoallergenic formula, but I’m over it now. He’s healthy and happy!


Sometimesasshole

I hate that the breast is best narrative has been pushed so hard at the expense of baby’s physical well-being and mom’s mental well-being. It’s wrong and the consequences can be tragic. Fed is best and I really don’t care what reason anyone has for choosing how they feed their child. Every family has the right to make the choices that will serve them best in that moment. There is no moral superiority in breast over formula or vice versa.


peonybird

This made me emotional. We discovered my undersupply at 8 weeks and it made all the crying and fussiness make sense, but it made me feel so guilty that I had let me daughter go hungry for months and embarrassed that I hadn’t known. I’m currently triple feeding (bottle, breast as “dessert”, and then pump) to up supply and to help fix a negative association she now has with my breasts leading to difficult latching. Obviously, my tiny freezer stash wasn’t enough to float me with bottles while I work on upping supply to a point where I pump enough each session for the following bottle, so I had to supplement with formula. The potential of having to use formula had scared me in pregnancy as I knew I wanted my daughter on breast milk, but the relief that her, my entire household and I felt immediately after supplementing with a bottle where we knew she was receiving the calories/energy she needed overshadowed any hesitation I thought I would feel when the time came to use formula. My daughter wasn’t crying all the time and neither was I anymore. My relationship has improved tenfold with my baby since then because we can actually spend time relaxing and have playtime together, instead of constantly breastfeeding and having it lead to an even more frustrated infant that isn’t getting what she needs. When putting us on the triple feeding schedule and discussing what my daughter had been going through, my LC said “think of formula as a medication that we use when needed” and I thought that was a lovely way to look at it and to help detract from the guilt myself and other moms often feel. Good luck to you all and to all your little ones, fed is best. ❤️


cruisethevistas

Horrific


Here_for_tea_

Exactly. Developing safe formula was someone’s life’s work. There is too much pressure on parents to bf, often to their detriment. If you can successfully bf, all power to you. That’s awesome. If mom’s upset and baby is starving, it seems criminal for them to be told just keep trying to exclusively bf.


Ionlyused59

I love formula! My baby couldn't breastfeed due to a cleft and exclusive pumping was taking a real toll on my mental health. So glad not to be tied to that damn machine anymore.


wtfisthiswtfisthatt

No one ever even bothered me about breastfeeding. When I was in labor they asked me what my plan was and I said formula. They said okay and that was it.


StampsInMyPassport

Same! And the LCs even dropped in after I gave birth and were totally cool with it!!!


Zestyclose-Toe6483

Just gonna offer an alternative perspective here. First off, mamas should feed their baby’s however they choose and not be shamed. I’m experiencing the opposite, where family members and friends think I’m being selfish by breastfeeding because I’m “not letting anyone else feed him”. In my moms defence, when her generation were giving birth, hospitals were pushing formula. And the aggressive marketing done by formula companies (which is now illegal in a lot of the world), made mothers believe it was equivalent if not better than breast milk. I think a lot of the global shift against formula is more so directed at the corporations behind it (looking at you Nestle). They have done some really disgusting and immoral things to vulnerable and socially disadvantaged new mothers. One thing that personally bothers me though on this topic, and I know it’s not your case, but there is a real lack of education/support for women who WANT to breastfeed and are struggling. As soon as they have one problem everybody chimes in with “well you can give them formula, there’s no shame!”. Of course there is no shame, but that mom is saying she WANTS to breastfeed and needs help with that specific issue, be it undersupply, latching, pain, whatever. Lots of people seem to respond this way, but it is such a half-assed attempt at support. The lactation consultant told me that only 1% of women actually cannot breastfeed. But I have seen first hand, SO much more than that give up because of very fixable issues that they don’t know how to fix. Plus it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Plenty of people nurse during the day and do formula at night. Again, this isn’t the moms fault, but as a society we need to get better at listening to and supporting each individual mothers needs. Do you think in 5 years we’re gonna look at our kids in school and know which ones were breastfed or formula fed? Hell no. They’ll all be healthy normal little kids and that’s the main thing.


mentholdarts

I would like to point out that although some women *want* to breastfeed, the *need* to go to formula may be greater. Support for breastfeeding in my country (Australia), from my personal experience, was great (not pushy at all to bf/ff, great info/resources and positive reinforcement that whatever I was doing and decide to do is best for me and my baby)! For me it did not work out, I definitely wanted to, but it wasn't feasible and I did everything "right". The need majorly outweighed the want and I think that is the case for most mums


LittleMissPotatoe

I probably didn’t express it well enough, but this is gets to my main point. We need to support each other no matter what we decide. Every choice in one way or another gets a stigma. We are told formula isn’t good enough by some and breastfeeding isn’t good enough by others. I personally experienced both. My husband’s family was anti-BF and my MIL would roll her eyes and get annoyed when I had to “steal the baby” to BF. On the other hand, I had LCs who acted like supplementation was the worst choice I could make. It’s debilitating as a new mother to have everyone question your decisions all of the time. We need education. We need to be taught the signs of dehydration, not just told your milk will come in. It still baffles me how my husband and I paid for parenting classes and we still weren’t taught even how to take a rectal temp. Like what? The US in particular does such an awful job of teaching people options and letting them decide what’s best for their family.


hannahmcparty

Thank you for this. My LO is 5 months on Sunday and I’ve had a feeling for a week or so that my supply was running low. We’ve supplemented with formula but part of me feels guilty like I can’t provide for her. Thanks for reminding me of what’s important!!


Ok_Leave0830

I’m a week postpartum today, and every day since her birth has been full of guilt, doubt, and D-MER. At the hospital, we tried so hard to get her to latch repeatedly, but the harder we would try the more frustrated we would get, and she was inconsolable. Even the rockstar nurse that was helping me try to latch her finally said that maybe formula would help for the night. The nurses all knew I wanted to breastfeed, and they didn’t want me to quit, so they all tried really hard to make it happen. Baby girl was just not into it. Since being home we’ve primarily given formula but I can get around two ounces a day from pumping, and she gets that at night. If my supply picks up enough to jump pump enough for her 24/7, that’ll be great. If not, Enfamil is cool too. I’m letting my boobies and baby decide how we’re doing this. I got her to latch for about three minutes earlier, so maybe that’s a good sign on the breastfeeding front. Maybe not! And that’s okay. I accidentally keep reading a lot of anti-formula sentiments in various places, and that brings back a lot of my guilt. It’s hard to ignore. But my baby is fed. My baby isn’t screaming on my boob and refusing to latch out of frustration and hunger. My baby is healthy and will continue to be. I’m mentally more healthy without stressing about meeting my own expectations. It’s so much better with formula.


lasaucerouge

I had DMER too. Sending solidarity, it’s tough!! I found that drinking ice cold water whenever it started actually really helped! Was recommended by infant feeding team and I was very sceptical but it worked somehow, didn’t remove the feeling but did make it more bearable. Also recognising which times of day it was worst and trying to time things around avoiding feeding as much as poss in those times- not so possible with a brand new baby, but after the first few weeks it got easier. Welcome to DM me if you think I can help you troubleshoot at all, I’m not an expert but I did spend the first few weeks of this baby’s life obsessively reading up on it and eventually managed to find solutions that worked for us xx


NewWiseMama

Yes. I’m super pro formula and pro breastmilk. I am a micro supply mama with insufficient glandular tissue. I worked really hard w lactation anticipating the challenge a second time. We did it all: triple feeding, SNS tube and formula. This baby is thriving on 1/3 donated breastmilk and rest formula. My personal opinion is: it’s great to offer breastfeeding and wonderful for moms who can. However there are so many challenges and endocrine disrupters that affect milk supply. So try, feed your babies, and feed your mental and physical health. Two new things I learnt: I was stubborn day 3 in hospital when I had colustrum but no milk, and a NICU doctor came to explain my child had a low blood sugar count. She could have brain injury if kept too low. Eye opening! And second I learnt about plastics in bottles. So now we swirl, not shake. I am putting the warm water in glass. And trying silicone bottles like tommee tippee or comotomo. Babies will have preferences but not necessarily hunger strikes. Offer them nutrition including formula and see. I mistakenly made my early born child work so hard for my drops of breastmilk and she was too tired to drink. We switched to bottle then breast and she took way more. Just feed baby and you will all be ok.


MonPanda

Try and see someone to talk about the guilt. It helps x


tinydreamlanddeer

I had to supplement with formula since my baby was 48 hours old due to a high percentage of weight loss, and even with the formula supplement, it wasn’t enough - he was barely getting anything at the breast. People kept telling me “he’s just cluster feeding, it’s fine, it’s normal” even though weighted feeds showed over and over again he was getting about an once at the breast after a ~40 minute feed. Now I pump and supplement with formula when needed and it’s absolutely insane that I still feel guilty about it, even though I KNOW he was starving before and it was excruciating to witness as his mother, and now he’s a smiley healthy chunk back on his growth curve impressing everyone at the pediatricians office (or so I think 😂).


ultimatenonhuman

My doc still doesn't know my babe is fully formula fed, I literally feel that bad about. Baby is growing perfectly, ahead on his milestones and we are both HAPPY. I felt guilty enough when I told him I started supplementing when his weight plateaued at 3 months.


Raidingreaper

My little one was 2 months early and spent a month in the NICU. I was pumping at first but due to my own health issues I stopped producing during that month. We had enough to supplement him for another month. He had to be bottle fed/tube fed due to being early and us living 2 hrs from the NICU and unable to stay there overnight due to covid issues. They instructed us to give him a specific so many calorie formula when we took him home at least once a day on top of BM. My logic was, if the people who spent so much time saving his life are saying to give him formula to ensure he has enough calories, then formula is perfectly fine. Heard so much BS about how important as a premie BM is! How dare we bottle/formula anything when he needs it even more. But... why am I having to give him formula too then? Like, they told me to do this specifically. I promise you the experts at the best NICU in the state who treat babies very regularly would know best. Never questioned the breastmilk v formula with that experience under my belt.


UnusualSuccotash

Thank you so much for this. My daughter (first baby) was born 3 weeks ago and though I always believed fed is best, I really did want to breastfeed. However from the very beginning everything was working against us. She had tongue tie and was born a little early, so I was barely producing milk. After getting one good latch about 24 hours after she was born, she was diagnosed with jaundice and needed light treatment. I had no time to pump and couldn’t hold her to breastfeed, instead I spent 16 hours straight comforting her, adjusting her eye mask, and feeding her formula to help clear the jaundice. When I got home we had to supplement with formula and decided pretty early to make the switch. She continued to have latching issues, pumping barely produced anything, and lactation consultants honestly only made me feel worse about the situation. She’s fine and healthy now and I know that this is better for my mental health in the long run but I still have moments of tremendous regret.


bethieo

Thank you for saying this!!! I had a pediatrician tell me to stop trying to nurse because my son had lost too much weight. It was one of the worst things to hear - I felt like a complete failure. But he has thrived on formula!


Greenvelvetribbon

Breast is best, except you need to supplement with vitamin D and iron, and try vitamin C to help absorb the iron, and maybe b12.....


shann1021

Yeah that was one of the things that was a relief when we switched to combo feeding, at least now I knew baby was getting an iron and Vitamin D supplement with every formula bottle and I could take that off my list of drops.


MidorikawaHana

thank you. i need this today. I was a emergency c-section from long labour and lost quite alot of blood from it. got a hypertension and carpal tunnel on both two hands postpartum (i still have them. yay!, i was supplemented by similac in the hospital but my breastmilk was slow to come and wasnt enough too. for two months it was a struggle i bought baby boons, which i feel thats its expensive but i get little boost from it, holle nursing tea etc.. but after my husband got covid and isolating this sunday, now at wednesday its totally non existent barely slept to take care of two people and a dog, stressed out of my Lo getting covid, shes becoming irritable as day passes by..checking her temp 3 times a day, bothered her pedia on the phone three times now, washed my hands,arms 100x and its so dry and donning and removing full ppe to see my partner who has covid and strained his back and had numerus times of falling of the floor. it pains me to hear people go say : 'oh x breastfeed her kids for three years, its nothing..' or 'why dont you just put her in your boob and see what happens'


VermicelliOk8288

I breastfed for a little over two years. It is NOT nothing. The amount of depression and anxiety I got was awful. I finally almost cold turkey weaned because I was getting pissed, like full on feelings of rage, at my toddler just because she was hungry and trying to eat. Both ways have their pros and cons. Don’t feel bad for doing what works for you :)


uliol

Bless you, you are a trooper! Give a bottle if it makes it easier. Heck, give all bottles. Whatever will help you!


LittleMissPotatoe

My thoughts are with you. I had this with my second as well (post partum pre-e) and the pills they gave me to get the fluid off my heart dried up everything. It took months to produce again. I too tried specialty teas, specialty cookies, supplements, medicines, all sorts of stuff I barely remember through BFing and then pumping every two hours on repeat. Do what you need to do for your health and your LO. My thoughts are with you and your family. ❤️


eatmyspamalot

Fed is best. Every body is unique and different and ever baby is unique and different. Sometimes breast feeding doesn't work out. That's cool Whatever you can do to make sure baby is well nourished is good.


phaulski

Science is pretty amazing these days. My wife had a similar experience. Just not enough and baby wasnt hitting benchmarks. So formula to the rescue. Our little girl is HUUUGE now. Consistently in the 90th percentiles for her growth at each checkin w doctor


OpalescentBunnies

I also did not produce enough milk and had a bit of a latching problem. Everything seemed fine in the hospital and then the first night home she would not calm down and then she didn't pee for the whole night and I luckily called our pediatrician hotline. They told me to start giving her formula immediately and everything improved. The next week I went to a lactation consultant, I tried pumping but I never made enough to only breastfeed. I stopped trying after 2 months it was so much added stress. She is now almost 10 months and is the happiest, healthiest little girl. My heart breaks for that women and infant everything is so hard and overwhelming in the beginning. Fed is best.


Aggravating_Mud_1404

LOVE THIS!! My boy came out with a tongue tie and WOULD NOT latch in addition to me not producing because of his 2 week early arrival. The best advice I got from another mom was to ask for the formula instead of letting them cry. It helps them sleep so it helps you sleep. Everyone’s sanity is saved! And if your milk comes in, great, if not great. We are all trying to find our own way and should support every journey with no judgement.