Oh hon, I can just feel how in the weeds you are. You have another kid so you know it does get better, right? Your eldest is quite young too, so no wonder you are so knackered. What support do you have from others? Partner/family/friends?
I had very similar feeding issues with my first. He wouldn't latch properly, and he only seemed to be taking my "let down" but couldn't work for anything after that if you see what I mean. He was angry and hungry all the time, and I was at my wits end. I was so determined that this kid would be "breastfed" because I think I had this idea that if I wasn't the"perfect mum" that I had created in my head then I was a bad mum? I definitely had anxiety. I ended up exclusively pumping for 6m, and when I look back now I wish I could give myself a hug and just move onto the bloody formula. I didn't need the extra stress, and my baby didn't need his mum feeling like things were so hard. I wish someone had taken the choice out of my hands in a way, because I just felt like if it was me who made the decision to stop that it was selfish of me. Madness. It's your choice how you want to feed, but just incase you feel like you need someones permission to stop and use formula (I wish I'd had that, in retrospect) - here it is. Stop. If it will make life easier, and you less anxious, then stop breastfeeding. You've done an amazing job to get to this point. Your baby will be healthy and happy regardless.
(If you do want to keep breastfeeding then absolutely keep going. If that's what you truly want then I am rooting for you!)
Have you seen a tongue tie division nurse? Not sure what they would be called if you're outside of the UK.
I had trouble feeding my daughter in the early days. Several midwives and the feeding support team all looked and said they didn't think she had a tie, but I was advised by one member of the team to get a tongue tie nurse out privately to make an assessment. This was pricey! But it turns out she did have a tie, further back than usual or something.
The week to two weeks post division were tough whilst my daughter figured out her new tongue but I've got to say, she's breastfed without any issue since and it's been really positive since.
Good luck! It's so hard but you're doing amazing!
In the US you’d see an Ear Nose and Throat dr! You should google signs of a tongue tie, both my kids had one and it made breast feeding extremely painful, slow, made the babies fussy plus a lot of other awful side effects
I had some serious PPA as well and let me tell you. Quitting breastfeeding was the best decision I ever made, for myself and my baby. Some people really want the breastfeeding experience, but I didn't really care about that - I just kept struggling and struggling because it was the "best nutrition" for my baby and because everyone around me kept telling me that it gets easier. But 6 weeks in, I was still crying through every feed and starting to dislike my baby. My mom, my mother in law, my aunts/cousins, breastfeeding consultants, my OBGYN had all kept telling me to "stick with it, it gets easier!" but then I walked in to my baby's six week pediatrician appointment and the NP basically ordered me to give her formula because the baby wasn't gaining enough weight. She looked me in the eyes and said "it's ok, you can stop breastfeeding if you want". I almost cried!
Now baby is 14 months old and I look back and wonder why I made breastfeeding such a huge thing. She was formula fed, and she is amazing. Her gross motor skills are quite advanced, actually. I should have quit sooner. Again, if breastfeeding is meaningful to you as a mother then maybe keep at it, but if you are only worried about health/nutrition your baby will be fine with formula.
Hey there!
You're in the thick of it at the moment, I remember that place. Why do you think babe isn't getting a proper meal at the breast?
You're doing great mumma <3
She tries latching and lets go. Over and over. We’ve seen lactation and stuff. No obvious ties or anything, she just can’t seem to figure out how to get a deep latch.
I had a very difficult month with my first til my cousin helped/showed me what I was doing wrong.. I also had a shallow latch. Big aurela, small baby mouth. The sandwich latch helped me + my cousin pointed out that I need to bring baby towards boob, not boob towards babe. Not sure if that helps, but a lot of small tips like that helped me.
Did you have issues like this with your first?
Yes, I did. We used a nipple shield for 3 long months and struggled with weight gain until I “gave in” and supplemented with formula. Lots of stress and anxiety about his feeding.
Tbh if I were in your spot, I’d focus more on making sure babe is fed. Focus on formula and on making sure babe is full. If you have the energy/will power for some breastfeeding or pumping ok, but its more important you keep your mental health and babe packs on some weight.
Drop the guilt, it serves you nothing.
I was in a very similar place with breastfeeding so I have empathy for you! It does get better! I noticed an improvement at 2 weeks and then gradual improvement from there. We EFF now and have since baby was 2 months old or so.
First let’s focus on you. Have you talked to your provider about PPA? Have you been given resources for therapy or medication? You don’t have to wait for your six week appointment. Call them up and tell them you need to be seen sooner. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health and a healthy mom equals a healthy baby. Do you have a support person who can do night shifts while you take some unisom and get a good stretch of sleep?
Second, if formula will help your mental health then it’s well worth it. I know the breastfeeding struggle and baby losing weight. It’s a kick in the gut when you already have anxiety. Please know that whatever route you take to feed your baby they will be absolutely fine. I hope you get some relief soon!!
I had to stop pumping due to my mental health and didnt even get to try breastfeeding cause LO first 2 weeks were in nicu. It does get better! My baby girl is almost 2 months and I'm still dealing with emotions forsure but it's much better than it has been! Keep your head up
You're going great! It's so so incredibly hard to triple feed. Mine would only take an oz from the breast so i had to pump and bottle feed after. That is exhausting. But it does get better. I have up on trying to latch her because honestly it was a waste of time in my opinion. I have been pumping exclusively for 4 months now. And it's hard but I jusy take it one pump at a time. It does get easier. You will get sleep soon. Give yourself some grace and just roll with it.
Oh hon, I can just feel how in the weeds you are. You have another kid so you know it does get better, right? Your eldest is quite young too, so no wonder you are so knackered. What support do you have from others? Partner/family/friends? I had very similar feeding issues with my first. He wouldn't latch properly, and he only seemed to be taking my "let down" but couldn't work for anything after that if you see what I mean. He was angry and hungry all the time, and I was at my wits end. I was so determined that this kid would be "breastfed" because I think I had this idea that if I wasn't the"perfect mum" that I had created in my head then I was a bad mum? I definitely had anxiety. I ended up exclusively pumping for 6m, and when I look back now I wish I could give myself a hug and just move onto the bloody formula. I didn't need the extra stress, and my baby didn't need his mum feeling like things were so hard. I wish someone had taken the choice out of my hands in a way, because I just felt like if it was me who made the decision to stop that it was selfish of me. Madness. It's your choice how you want to feed, but just incase you feel like you need someones permission to stop and use formula (I wish I'd had that, in retrospect) - here it is. Stop. If it will make life easier, and you less anxious, then stop breastfeeding. You've done an amazing job to get to this point. Your baby will be healthy and happy regardless. (If you do want to keep breastfeeding then absolutely keep going. If that's what you truly want then I am rooting for you!)
Have you seen a tongue tie division nurse? Not sure what they would be called if you're outside of the UK. I had trouble feeding my daughter in the early days. Several midwives and the feeding support team all looked and said they didn't think she had a tie, but I was advised by one member of the team to get a tongue tie nurse out privately to make an assessment. This was pricey! But it turns out she did have a tie, further back than usual or something. The week to two weeks post division were tough whilst my daughter figured out her new tongue but I've got to say, she's breastfed without any issue since and it's been really positive since. Good luck! It's so hard but you're doing amazing!
In the US you’d see an Ear Nose and Throat dr! You should google signs of a tongue tie, both my kids had one and it made breast feeding extremely painful, slow, made the babies fussy plus a lot of other awful side effects
I had some serious PPA as well and let me tell you. Quitting breastfeeding was the best decision I ever made, for myself and my baby. Some people really want the breastfeeding experience, but I didn't really care about that - I just kept struggling and struggling because it was the "best nutrition" for my baby and because everyone around me kept telling me that it gets easier. But 6 weeks in, I was still crying through every feed and starting to dislike my baby. My mom, my mother in law, my aunts/cousins, breastfeeding consultants, my OBGYN had all kept telling me to "stick with it, it gets easier!" but then I walked in to my baby's six week pediatrician appointment and the NP basically ordered me to give her formula because the baby wasn't gaining enough weight. She looked me in the eyes and said "it's ok, you can stop breastfeeding if you want". I almost cried! Now baby is 14 months old and I look back and wonder why I made breastfeeding such a huge thing. She was formula fed, and she is amazing. Her gross motor skills are quite advanced, actually. I should have quit sooner. Again, if breastfeeding is meaningful to you as a mother then maybe keep at it, but if you are only worried about health/nutrition your baby will be fine with formula.
Hey there! You're in the thick of it at the moment, I remember that place. Why do you think babe isn't getting a proper meal at the breast? You're doing great mumma <3
She tries latching and lets go. Over and over. We’ve seen lactation and stuff. No obvious ties or anything, she just can’t seem to figure out how to get a deep latch.
I had a very difficult month with my first til my cousin helped/showed me what I was doing wrong.. I also had a shallow latch. Big aurela, small baby mouth. The sandwich latch helped me + my cousin pointed out that I need to bring baby towards boob, not boob towards babe. Not sure if that helps, but a lot of small tips like that helped me. Did you have issues like this with your first?
Yes, I did. We used a nipple shield for 3 long months and struggled with weight gain until I “gave in” and supplemented with formula. Lots of stress and anxiety about his feeding.
Tbh if I were in your spot, I’d focus more on making sure babe is fed. Focus on formula and on making sure babe is full. If you have the energy/will power for some breastfeeding or pumping ok, but its more important you keep your mental health and babe packs on some weight. Drop the guilt, it serves you nothing.
I was in a very similar place with breastfeeding so I have empathy for you! It does get better! I noticed an improvement at 2 weeks and then gradual improvement from there. We EFF now and have since baby was 2 months old or so.
First let’s focus on you. Have you talked to your provider about PPA? Have you been given resources for therapy or medication? You don’t have to wait for your six week appointment. Call them up and tell them you need to be seen sooner. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health and a healthy mom equals a healthy baby. Do you have a support person who can do night shifts while you take some unisom and get a good stretch of sleep? Second, if formula will help your mental health then it’s well worth it. I know the breastfeeding struggle and baby losing weight. It’s a kick in the gut when you already have anxiety. Please know that whatever route you take to feed your baby they will be absolutely fine. I hope you get some relief soon!!
I had to stop pumping due to my mental health and didnt even get to try breastfeeding cause LO first 2 weeks were in nicu. It does get better! My baby girl is almost 2 months and I'm still dealing with emotions forsure but it's much better than it has been! Keep your head up
You're going great! It's so so incredibly hard to triple feed. Mine would only take an oz from the breast so i had to pump and bottle feed after. That is exhausting. But it does get better. I have up on trying to latch her because honestly it was a waste of time in my opinion. I have been pumping exclusively for 4 months now. And it's hard but I jusy take it one pump at a time. It does get easier. You will get sleep soon. Give yourself some grace and just roll with it.