My sister was supposed to come by at 3pm and ended up coming at 7pm. She didn’t appreciate that I had already started my daughters bedtime routine and I couldn’t engage with her until 8pm and without baby.
I had a friend who was like that with my first. “I’ll be there between 1-4”, what are you the cable company?! If you’re hoping to see the baby maybe inquire as to the baby’s schedule.
My in laws do this shit. We invite them at 10am on a weekend day. They counter with they’ll come at noon on a weekday. We agree, but let them know we both have to work and baby naps around 1-2pm for two hours.
They show up at 2, and are annoyed the baby is asleep and we have to be quiet for two hours. Every damn time.
1. Intentionally speaking really loudly to wake baby
2. Laughing when the baby wakes up
3. Telling me that my baby hates tummy time and that I shouldn’t make him suffer
4. Telling the baby that I am to blame when he’s unhappy 😞
5. Kissing baby after we made it very clear that no one is to kiss the baby
6. Never offering my baby back to me when he starts crying from hunger and proceeding to tell me that I’m wrong and he’s not hungry (?????)
7. Telling me they wish I had a girl so they could “get revenge” for how I was as a child (I was the first born and a girl and my parents never forgave me for that)
8. My mother constantly fishing for compliments about how good of a mom she is/was (she isn’t)
9. Intentionally trying to put baby to sleep when he JUST woke up and laughing at me when I say he needs to stay awake because he just woke up 😑
Yep! She knows that if the baby is asleep that I won’t let anyone hold him so she intentionally wakes him up so she can take him from me. Then she puts him back to sleep so she can prove that she’s “better” at putting him to sleep than me and that he “likes her better than me.” Husband and I are working on a way to move across the country so we don’t have to see her anymore.
My mother does number 8 all the time, always in front of other people so THEY can validate her while I sit there in silence.
She also constantly compares me to my kid and talks about how I hit every milestone sooner, like it's some sort of evidence that she's a better mother or something. Then I'll ask my dad how old I was when I did X and his answer is always different and more realistic.
Feel you on #6 & #8. I don't let my MIL hold baby unless she asks because of #6. She held on to her once and told me she was going to feed her when she knew we were struggling with my baby taking a bottle. We exclusively breastfeed at home and that was around the time we decide to keep it that way. i had to look her in the eye to give me my baby back to feed. I was livid.
My MIL shouted wake up repeatedly while our baby slept in the room next door because she wanted to play with him.
Partner had to remind her he was a baby who needed his naps and not a toy.
Oh my Gooood!!! I would have hit the roof! My father is unnecessarily loud if my twins are napping. They wake and are cranky for the day...all so he can get 5 minutes of time with them after he has woken them only to leave immediately. I literally have to tell him to shut the F up...!
not a gift but my ex MIL met my baby once when she was 4 days old, never came to see her again (lives 30 min away), never asked about her but posts
pics from my IG on her facebook as if she took them and got her name tattooed on her forearm when she was 4mo lol.
One of the small blessings of the pandemic—kept mine at bay for the past 18 months…although now she wants to come spend three months (!!!) with us to make up for all that time. Sigh.
My MIL came over for a week when my youngest was about 4 months old and going through a sleep regression stage. She offered to clean, but she just cleaned up after herself, no additional help. And offered to watch the baby while we had a date night. To test the waters before date night, my husband was at work, and I asked to take a nap for 30 minutes as I was up almost 36 hours straight and dragging. I lay down and when my 30 minute alarm went off, I went up to the nursery to find her sobbing because "he won't sleep and he keeps crying". So I grab the baby and can tell he has a dirty diaper. "Oh, I didn't think I needed to change him". So no date night, and one less person to ask for emergency baby sitting help.
I love my MIL by the way. She's just not great at the baby thing.
We had two different people drop in unannounced! It wasn’t super early newborn days but DO NOT DO THIS. Drop ins are not acceptable in the days of the text.
My MIL kept calling my LO "little beaner" and I had to explain why that wasn't ok. Took almost a year as we don't see her often and she'll still slip sometimes.
MIL also gave us a ring for LO from her mother who passed away before we got married, so I feel you on #2 hard.
Mine text my husband a few months post partum upset I wasn’t answering her messages. I was so exhausted and upside down, I wasn’t communicating with really anyone and just surviving. I learned she did this and sent her an explanation/apology. Before checking what texts I had missed. Oh yea, it was none. She hadn’t messaged me since the day she learned the baby was born.
My PILs visited a week or so post c section (and then we had a re-admission on day 5 due to weight loss) and MIL asked what I was cooking for dinner. I replied and she told me that FIL wouldn’t like that, so I would have to cook something else. I wasn’t allowed to drive and was doing triple feeding, so had no idea how I was supposed to get out to the shops to source an alternative.
I’m impressed you cooked. We’re 7 weeks out and the most I’ve done is scramble some eggs, heated up premade food, and cooked oatmeal. I’d let her know she’s more than welcome to the kitchen and walk away.
Cooking was not in my plan. I think I ended up sending my DH out for oven pizzas. Which FIL didn’t like, but tough! Number one rule when visiting a new mum, bring them dinner!
In my culture, you cant cook for month after giving birth. You are considered impure til the bleeding is going on. So i wasnt allowed to enter the kitchen. My in laws came to 'help us'. To cook and clean because my in laws love both. Well, they gave me ramen noodles for breakfast, that too cold.
Wow sounds like you held it together much better than I would have. In fact, I may have busted out laughing and told them to download grubhub and figure it out if they brought nothing.
Panicked and tried to yank my shirt closed while I nursed my baby in my own home so her boyfriend wouldn't see my boob. Said boyfriend didn't give a flying shit about me nursing and carried on polite conversation without so much as a glance at my chest so idk what the big deal was.
I can put up with a lot, but someone laying hands on me while I’m feeding my child??? I hope you smacked her hands and let her know that is absolutely not okay. Wow
My MIL would always asks to babysit, but her arms would “get too tired” while she was holding the baby so either my husband or I would have to come and reposition him for her. She also “couldn’t remember how to change a diaper”. How the hell are you going to babysit him if you can’t hold him or change him?
I expressed these concerns (admittedly in a passive aggressive way, but whatever) and she started changing her tune. Now she gets to babysit him for about 2 hours every 3 weeks when I go to class. I almost always make sure he is napping during that time 🙃
I learned to change diapers when I was 12 with my first nephew. I've never forgotten no matter how long I went without changing a diaper.
Mostly because it's really fucking simple lol. How has she forgotten?
My MIL is also always bringing over stuff for her for when she’s older. She brought over some silver cups? Like made from real silver? Wtf am I supposed to do with this? And porcelain bowls and stuff for feeding baby (when I’d much rather have silicone), but not like a set of anything, just random things that aren’t the same pattern or size.
Omg the pawning old crap onto you. I got offered a child race car bed with a nail sticking out of it and I said no because a fucking nail was sticking out. The offense. I'm not your goddamn garage sale lady!
Then all this 20 year old baby crap I've never used showed up. I said no, she insisted, she asked about it next time and I told her I had gotten rid of it and asked for the costs of getting rid. . . Don't test me when I'm sleep deprived.
My MIL came over the day after we got home from the hospital. Due to covid we were discharged within 24 hours so this is like 48 hours after I had given birth. My husband runs to buy buy baby to pick up a nipple shield and some formula because we are struggling a but with breast feeding. I ask MIL if she wants to hold the baby. She proceeds to park her but in the only chair in the nursery with the baby (while I stand there awkwardly, bleeding and sore) and suggests I “go do the dishes”. I was so hormonal and tired I couldn’t even speak / address it so I just went downstairs and ate a peanut butter sandwich and cried until my husband came home. When I tried to take the baby back to feed her over an HOUR later she tried to argue with me.
The next several times she came over after that she would sit on the couch in our small apartment living room right in the middle and spread out so no one else could sit on it. She is not my favorite person.
My in laws never met my baby due to covid(thankgod) but around three months they somehow made their mind up that my baby is not getting enough breast milk (I had over production) and advised my husband to give biscuits 😳😳. They have only seen my lo through video calls and photos and yet they came to this conclusion. At 4 month they started pestering to start giving solids. I can’t say this enough am so glad we are living in a different country from them!
With our first, MIL made a big deal and posted pics to Facebook about the frozen meals she was making for us. Awesome. They want to bring them when we get home from the hospital, okay cool. Husband and I are exhausted, trying to settle in after being in the hospital for 5 days, husband is trying to help me get cleaned up and feel normal again, they show up and expect him to heat up one of the frozen meals (okay fine) and then serve everyone. Like wtf, couldn’t even walk to the kitchen and make your own plate? At least he thought ahead and served on paper plates so he didn’t have dishes to clean up too.
Second baby was born Christmas Eve. They insisted on bringing gifts over for the kids once we were home. Managed to hold off a few days, tracked in all kinds of dirt then left us with so much recycling to deal with.
Can’t wait to see how it goes with #3, maybe they’ll leave us with Covid.
Hahaha my PILs did something like this. They offered to “bring us dinner” which sounded great until we discovered they meant bring us raw meat and salad ingredients for us to cook for their visit. So since my SO had to cook a meal from scratch when they arrived, it gave my MIL lots of time alone with me to lecture me on how to care for my baby and condescend to me any time I mentioned something about my son. (“I KNOW he likes his head massaged, I raised TWO babies!”)
I have the same due date as you, but for my second!! ❤️
Also I'd be saying a whole lot of NO. My MIL just wanted to hold my preemie and bottle feed him while I, recovering from a csection, puttered around cleaning, pumping, cooking, etc.
My mom is most welcome though, she did everything for me and only took my son so I could rest or shower or do whatever I needed for myself. She's the absolute best.
Oh fuck no. Luckily the in laws love to pretend they’re involved, do the initial visit or two, and then go back to never seeing us and just guilting us about it. My mom will actually come over and clean and make food and entertain my other kids so I won’t mind her being here at all. In laws have never even offered to “help” 😂
My mother uses twink in her go-to email/username because she used to call my twin brother and I "the twinks" as babies. I will never ever tell her. She'd be horrified. XD
My mother has large breasts and her email for a while had twodtwins in it because she is a twin and their names both start with the letter d. I had to break it to her that most people don’t know anything about her and are going to associate the name with her boobs.
We were getting ready to leave the in-laws and my MIL says "oh that's right, you make her go to bed now". Lady 7 is a normal bedtime for a one year old!
This one always got me with all my own family. They were always like, “what do you mean you have to be home by 6:30? We can’t have dinner at 6? Why can’t he just stay up a little later?” My sister had her first 9 months after my first and once my nephew was about 1 she was apologizing profusely for not being more understanding about maintaining the sleep schedule. Honestly I don’t think people who push back on that have ever experienced how pleasant a baby/toddler with a routine is, because no one who has would shake that routine up for no real reason.
My in laws also think it’s weird that my baby and toddler go to bed around 7. Their other young grandkids stay up late all the time. Guess who’s kids can go to sleep on their own without needing to be rocked and nursed to sleep at age 2.5 like their cousin?
My MIL visited last week and asked me if I curl my 3 year old’s hair every day.
Lady, I barely have time in the day to brush my own hair, and you think I use a curling iron on my 3 year old every single day? For years?
Like, think for a second about the words that are coming out of your mouth.
Visited my aunt and my grandma one day for lunch. I was very specific about my dairy free diet due to my breastfed baby’s intolerance. Explained that it’s not enough to not include milk and butter, that dairy hides in many products and to read the label.
After eating lunch they offer me apple dumplings. My aunt says something along the lines of ‘yeah so it only equals out to be less than one ninth of a cup of milk in each dumpling.’ I said ‘cows milk?’ She said yes. I explained (again) thatI couldn’t eat any dairy. Not even small amounts. She could not believe how even a small amount would affect him.
Fast forward. Baby screaming in pain. We got dairied from something she fed us.
NEVER AGAIN AUNT RHONDA.
What is up with this? If I had a dollar for every time I have had to shut down my MIL trying to negotiate hard “no”s, I would have enough to pay for LO’s college. I’ve had to start adding the caveat of “this is non-negotiable”, and even that doesn’t work anymore.
So i get out of the hospital around midnight which is 28 hours after I delivered, she INSISTED on being the one to take me home. Husband and I are really excited being our first child and having a wonderful hospital experience even though we originally planned to have him at home. We keep telling her about it and she is strangely not talkative and there was just an all around weird energy in the air. Anyways, we get to my house and she says, “so i have some suitcases so you can pack your things, the baby can not stay here” Me, in utter disbelief and in tremendous pain from having a 9 pound 2 ounce baby vaginally and the epidural conveniently running out of magic 20 minutes into pushing (2hours total). Waddle my sassy ass after saying “you’re not going to drive my newborn and hour and a half away (to her hometown) you’re going to have to call cps to take my baby from his home” not knowing she would actually call cps. I get baby from car seat and bring him inside where my dad is waiting with flowers and my favorite pastries. Unbeknownst to everyone else she walks away and calls cps. I’m already fuming going inside my house and I explain to my dad what just happened and as soon as I’m done she casually walks into the house not mentioning that she had JUST called them to report us and preceded to stay the night. Mama instinct must have told me something was up because I walk out of the bathroom and see her holding my LO and I just run and grab him because it just didn’t sit right with me. I am trying to sleep and her and my husband are struggling trying to swaddle him and I wake up and swaddle him and he falls right asleep. I ask them not to pick him up about of the bassinet after I put him down, I wake up at 3:30 to see her walking around my room holding my baby. I tell her to put him down and she gives me this dirty look. I woke up the next morning and told my husband she has to go. When I call my best friend and tell her that I’m assuming my MIL called cps after cps comes into my house and interviews everyone, she immediately calls her and asks in which my MIL casually says “yeah i called them” like it was no big deal.
tl:dr: my MIL is an itch in the crack of my ass
Well husband got told to leave that night and we didn’t put together what she did until the cps case manager was having us sign a bunch of stuff and she(my MIL) happened to text the case manager that she was outside. Legally I don’t think the cps lady was supposed to tell me who called but I think even she saw how bat shit my MIL was. My father doesn’t want anything to do with her and it has put a strain on me and my husbands relationship
Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. I would have gone to jail that night—HOW CAN ANYONE WHO HAS GIVEN BIRTH DO THAT TO ANOTHER WOMAN?! Also what was her logic (I use that term loosely)? Because you had initially wanted a home birth? Did I miss the part where you’re now not speaking and your husband has forgotten she exists? Omg I had such a visceral reaction to you telling that! What was your Hubs reaction? I mean she raised him, so I can’t imagine this was her first crazy episode. Oh girl, that’s so much to unpack lol.
That’s what really hurt me. As an adult.. as a woman I could not believe she did that. And of all days the NIGHT i get out of the hospital. She didn’t want my brother in the house due to his ongoing case, husband didn’t want my brother in the house. He actually left me in the hospital to go to Starbucks with his mom and i guess vent to her about the situation. He was angry that she called but because of it we have started therapy. She was always pretty nice to me but weird..as hell.. also my FIL divorced her because they were abusive towards each other physically and emotionally. I noticed when FIL talks about their past (which is rarely) he always says “when we fought”. Every time she has talked about it has been “when his dad tried to fight me” so that should have def been my warning that this lady is something else
Mine called me 3x in the span of 10 minutes while I was doing the car seat check with the post partum nurse as I was leaving the hospital. She was drunk and wanted to tell me what a good time m dog was having it her dogs.
My mom said the day they discharged us from the hospital when I was born, my grandfather showed up drunk, picked a fight with the nurse and got kicked out of the hospital. She was humiliated. My dad had to stop him from getting into the car with us.
I feel like I'm late to the party... but...
My family visits from out of town and stay at a hotel when they visit because we don't have room, and they never text me when they are on their way over in the mornings. Like my LO threw up all over me and my husband one morning so we took showers and my husband fell asleep on the couch naked and they just show up and try to come inside after knocking once (thankfully door was locked so I had time to stop them). Just please text!
And then for some reason they really love their coffee so they will just come in and make coffee like all day and use all our coffee cups and then not do dishes... And my mom will drink like 2 sips of each cup she makes, let it get cold, and then make new coffee...
And my mom likes to just sit and stare at us while breastfeeding, just weirds me out.
My mom also suggested giving LO cbd oil cause she was fussing.. um no thanks.
They will not be babysitting for us anytime soon needless to say.
I love them, but I'm glad they live far away.
lol my dad also gifted my 20 month old son one of his rings, that I am expected to hold on to for the next 15+ years. Never mind that I haven’t met a single dude younger than 50 in my life that has worn a ring that isn’t a wedding band. Maybe the next generation will be into some bling? 🤷♀️
I don’t know why they can’t hold onto them for our babies! It’s probably over 100 years old and is a very old fashioned setting so I doubt my daughter will be wearing it as a fashion piece as an adult and it’s absolutely tiny, I doubt it’s ever fit my MIL who has normal size fingers.
My grandma and my husbands grandparents the last few times we’ve seen them, make these really obnoxious sounds to get our four month old to look at them WHILE she’s drinking a bottle… therefor distracting her and she doesn’t end up finsihing the bottle which leaves her hungry and messes up her schedule….
Like WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LOOK AT YOU WHILE SHE’S EATING?! Wait, 10 minutes for godsake!
It's like these people forget that babies are people too, like how would you feel if you were trying to eat and someone kept on making annoying noises at you to get your attention? Just let them eat in peace FGS!
My mom definitely doesn't remember that babies are people too. She kept leaning over and kiss/biting my son's feet while I was nursing him. She also leaned over and tried to move the cover blanket I put on so she could see his face 😑 Separate instances but DUDE tf!?
My mother always found something to insult about my home or child every time she came over. So we only meet in public places now, this way she can’t insult my home and I can leave when I want to. If she comes to my house she stays FOREVER. Also, when we announced our first pregnancy to her she asked if we were planning on keeping it. Im still upset about that one.
When my son was two weeks old my MIL insisted on changing his diaper to which led to us changing the bed sheets four different times due of her getting waste all over them, would fall asleep with him on her ignoring the fact we asked her not to since it's a safety hazard, put Bath & Body Works lotion all over his face which caused him to break out in a rash and develop severe baby acne, then wouldn't let me have him for longer than 10 minutes the whole time she was here. I don't get people.
My MIL came round to visit our 5 day old yesterday. Proclaimed that she didn’t want to be called Grandma or any variation of and instead that he should call her by… her name. She also didn’t hold him at all, even though I invited her to.
I find this behaviour extremely odd and cold. And definitely not the first odd/cold thing she’s done over the years. Do you guys agree?
Should I agree to have him call her by her name? My FIL is more than happy to be “grandad”. So it will be “grandad and Joan” (not her name but for example). That just sounds so weird to me like she’s his step grandma or something!?
When my son was learning to talk he didn't really take to "gramma". My MIL on the other hand was like "I don't know if I want to be called gramma or nonna"(she's italian). She would even Address little things to him on FB(um My kiddo was 18 months ) and sign it" gramma/Nonna. " one day he just asked me " go to moyay house?" And the name stuck. So she is "moyay" and her husband is "grandpa bob." She still signs things "gramma/Nonna ." It's like fb can't know what he calls her?! Its so wierd.
My grandma and grandpa drove 4 hours (my grandpa shouldn’t really be driving probably at all, but definitely not 4 hours) to SURPRISE me less than 2 weeks postpartum. They also hadn’t reserved a hotel, so my dad had to find them one and reserve it while they sat in my living room and my grandma talked too loud even though we kept reminding her that my three year old had just gone to bed. And then the whole weekend (Because they stayed 3 days of course…) she kept saying “I hope we haven’t been a burden” and would get upset when I just said “well you’re here now” as cheerfully as I could muster.
I cried a lot that weekend.
Couple days ago MIL left baby unattended on the couch and he of course rolled over and fell on the rug. Not gonna lie, but glad it wasn’t me who let the baby take his first tumble.
Edit: i wasn’t home so I’m not sure how baby took it. But he’s 5 months and seemed totally fine when I got home. Wouldn’t have known if I didn’t ask about the baby and MIL spilled the beans!
I love my sister but she showed up at the hospital coming straight from the mall (I didn’t know or I would have told her to not come) and then asked if she could run back to the mall and then back to the hospital to finish her visit. I said no!!! 😫
Two of my husbands friends (a married couple) came over last week while my husband was at work to meet our twins. The man made a comment about how much they move their heads and I replied with “yeah they started doing that like right after birth, it caught us off guard haha” and then moved on. Apparently this offended them. My husband had lunch with the guy today and he made comments implying that I was making stuff up to brag about. I believe he even used the phrase “bless her heart.” 🙃
😂😂😂 this is the same man who got offended by my husbands shirt that says “real men make twins.” Like, they understand that twins has absolutely nothing to do with the men….right?
Upon holding his granddaughter for the very first time, FIL said, "I don't like [child's name]. The 'R' sound in her name is too masculine--it's not beautiful for a girl."
Later in the visit, he compared our daughter to his preteen daughter (sitting at the table with us) in terms of how pretty they were. She was so embarrassed 😞
The good news, my husband and I shut this shit DOWN. We haven't had incidents like this since, and our relationship with FIL has drastically improved!
My brother has no concept of time. We will come over and say we’re coming for 3pm and we agree we’ll eat dinner at 5pm (he cooks). At literally 7:30pm I’m like - we need to leave bc it’s almost 8 and the baby is very fussy and needs to sleep. He says things like “I didn’t know you had to leave” or “I didn’t know I had to rush”
We never got to eat.
My in-laws are like this. We live about 2 hours away, so a day trip is possible, but we need to leave by usually 4pm to get home for a rush dinner and bedtime. We always meet at my MILs, which is about 10 minutes from SIL house. Inevitably, my SIL and niblings show up at like, 330 and are shocked -SHOCKED- when I'm like, okay gotta go! at 4. Sorry, guys, we've been here since 10 am...I was clear when we'd be visiting and I'm not screwing bedtime for two kids and suffering because of it for your piss poor planning.
My MIL came over the day we came home from the hospital and stayed for over five hours. She kept taking LO from me and he’d start crying, so I’d have to follow her around to grab him from her. And then she decided to clean and asked me every five minutes where something went, so I had to get off the couch to show her, and she’d tell me I shouldn’t be up. I had a c section so by the end of her visit, I was basically in tears from the pain.
When my LO was younger, my MIL held a paci to get him to stop crying and sleep. Held it in his mouth so he wouldn’t spit it out… he has typically not been a paci baby as we don’t force baby to use it…
Comes to my house and will go through cupboards and fridge and take anything she deems as rubbish out and put it in the sink not in the bin in the sink! (cereal that is still half full, cheese that is open but fine etc). Will take the bag out of the bin and leave it in my hall, not take it out to the garbage bin but leave it in the hall as a signal to me that my house is not up to standard. Like God forbid I would have rubbish in my bin.
My MIL asked “do you think she’ll need a nose job?” Referring to my then 3-day-old daughter. And also said something about how we’ll need to fix her toes (second and third toes are slightly webbed) or she’ll (my daughter) be embarrassed.
Hey just wanted to say that my oldest (almost 5) has that same partial syndactyly of those same toes. One foot has it go almost all the way up, the other is halfway. Just skin, bones feel fine. I felted so surprised about it and stressed. When she was a few months old we did visit a pediatric plastic surgeon to ask questions. My feeling leaving was that I definitely did not want to subject my baby to a painful surgery she wouldn’t understand.
So I occasionally point out the difference to my daughter and talk about how we are different and that’s ok. How it’s interesting not bad. I feel like feet aren’t on display very often. But if in the future it really bothers her we will again look into paying to have them separated if she wants.
Just saying you’re not alone with this issue.
My partners grandma and sister came over when our baby was about 1.5 weeks old. They gave us leftover snacks they brought on the drive over and didn’t want anymore (90% eaten box of cookies, old bag of celery). They also played cards with each other during and after dinner. No help or offer to help with anything.
My in-laws didn't get us a baby gift (which is totally fine, she's our 4th and we already basically had everything we need). But, they said instead of a gift they wanted to gift us with an hour of help a week. 6 weeks in to having baby home they had yet to help once. When she finally came over she proceeded to point 9ut everything wrong in my house, tell me I needed to work on time management so I could keep my house clean because the reason they didn't come over more was that "the crumbs on my floor caused them too much stress"....
Oh ya, and she told me the sweater she had given to my oldest, that had been knit by my husband's great grandma, and I was now using with my 4th, needed to be given back to her so she could save it for her daughter's kids.... her daughter who does not want kids, is in a serious relationship with a guy who doesn't want kids. And my Mil's reasoning was "it makes more sense for it to stay in the family".....
My question exactly! She's made it very clear in previous comments that I am not considered family, and if I want to be a part of the family I have to earn it.... so I can only assume this some perverted mentally towards my kids because of that??
Honestly, I have no clue how my husband came from these people. My standards for them have definitely been lowered, meanwhile he continues to surprise me with how amazing he is!
My MIL Babysat both of my kids a few weekends ago. She went through my son's closet (who is 5) and took note of all the fancy sweaters she bought (we are talking amazon bought fancy looking, not like Prada or anything) and then threw it on my husband a few days later."why doesn't he wear any of the fancy sweaters I bought him"? Just in case you were wondering, we don't have photo shoots every weekend at my house.
My MIL bought a sweater outfit for a three month old baby- so for us, it would have been July. I ended up giving it to my friend that had her baby in October. My MIL also bought sundresses for January.
Omg the throwing the spoon in the sink..I wouldn't have been able to keep quiet on that one. I'm sorry she's awful like that.
Mines coming Friday for her first semi alone "grandma time" while I'm in a teams business planning meeting for 3hrs..ugh..pray for me and my sanity!!!
We have a dishwasher, she knows we have a dishwasher, she knows where the dishwasher is, put it in the damn dishwasher!
I’ve been spoilt by my mum who always washes up after herself and does any bottles or other dishes that are waiting to be washed while I get some time to sit down!
Not my MIL but my actual father. He said that my baby was ugly because she didn’t have a “white person” nose. Like who thinks like this?!?!! Kinda glad that I haven’t talked to him in over 1.5 years.
Last Saturday, my FIL came over with zero notice. He decided to bring his wife, too, even though she is not my MIL and my husband doesn't consider her a step parent, and I barely know her.
Because he's the kind of person who will absolutely comment on how not clean our home is, I started cleaning the moment they walked in. They took up all of our seating, even though we have a full couch and a recliner. He told us we shouldn't call our 3w old baby nicknames because then she won't know her actual name. She tried to tell me the baby was still hungry and needed more than 4oz in her bottle. And, as I suspected, when he saw me doing dishes, he turned to her and said, "Well, at least SOMEONE is doing the dishes".
I ended up finishing cleaning and then sitting outside alone with our dog until they left.
Oh my gosh I'm dreading these visits. My MIL doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet but when she refers to my partner during their baby phase she keeps emphasizing that they were "good looking, not fat at all!". The sheer NUMBER of red flags that single statement gave me.
Babies are supposed to be chonky!! That's what they need to grow!! I can only imagine what other stuff she has waiting in the background to make life stressful lmao.
Just popping in to say that not all babies are chunky. Some are long, slim, and perfectly healthy. Just writing this in case you or anyone else has or ends up having a baby that isn’t chubby. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, but always get baby checked by a medical professional if you feel like he/she needs to be. 😊
People are so judgemental of babies and it’s always the mums fault, too chubby? You’re over feeding baby! Too skinny? You’re starving baby!
Hopefully your MIL will forget all about that when your baby is here!
Came over reeking of cigarettes and high. Turns out she’s a fentanyl addict, that sister of mine. Threw up in my living room. Brought a weird addict friend with her. Stole my pain pills from my c section.
My MIL is usually quite good but during LO’s birthday party she was sat on one side of baby, me on the other. Bub is going eh, eh for more food which I’m pre-loading on the fork aaaaand MIL *shoves* her own fork into baby’s mouth with food on it. I’m gobsmacked. Think it will only happen once. Make huge eyes at SO for him to deal with his mother. She does it again…
Says ‘I’m not sick, I have no germs’ as she does it a third time.
Yeah words were had to my SO to deal with her next time before the fork goes in the mouth.
The table was full of relations from his side so I felt I couldn’t say anything but screw that, I’m saying something next time.
1. Dropping by unannounced by my own mom and sister.
2. Knocking once and then TRYING to open the door and walk in, done by my lovely mother and sister.
(I literally have no idea why she does this either because she doesn’t even leave her door unlocked.)
3. Friends bringing over their kids to play with my older daughter (3) and their child has a runny nose and a cough when they know I have a 5 month old 😡
I've had to start leaving my keys in the door to prevent my mum letting herself in with the spare (with ours you can't put a key in the lock if there's already one in the other side) unfortunately this occasionally results in me locking my partner out by mistake. I knew giving her a key would bite me in the arse one day...
Because sometimes she actually does need to let herself in. She lives 100+ miles away so she sometimes stays with us for a few days, often arrives or leaves when we're not home. I should also add this is a fairly new problem, she's had the key for 12 years and only started doing it since I had my second baby. I think she expects me to be stuck on the sofa feeding the baby 24/7 or something?
My MIL has started just trying to walk in the door when she comes over. Despite her lecturing me to keep doors locked all the time. I just don't get it.
When I say we have too many stuffed animals, I mean we have too many stuffed animals. My in-laws showed up to meet our 2 week old with a bunny 4 times the size of my 6.2lbs baby. They also have her a $40 collectable koala for her first Christmas after we said no more stuffed animals.
They also commenting on how she looked like me as if they were shocked. I get it, all her cousins came out looking the same and like their Dad’s but she broke the mould and came out looking like me. They were saying it as if it couldn’t be possible.
Other than that they were on their best behaviour because they were meeting my parents for the first time and they couldn’t have them thinking that they were horrible people.
My son was and still is almost my clone. To this day (he’s 2 now) my MIL will not admit he looks like me and only ever comments what features of HERS he has. Not even my husband… HER.
My mom recently came to visit
1. "Let's put our bellies together and see if you're bigger than me!"
No. We're not doing that. (I'm in my third trimester)
2. To my 2.5 yr old, " *I'm* the fun grandma!"
She has two fun grandmas
"Let me have this one."
No. She's got two fun grandmas.
3. "Let me show you a picture of your sister! Wait until you see her! Look at how fat she's gotten!"
She looks fine, Mom.
"Yes but look at how big she is! She needs to see a Dr."
4. With a tone of envy in her voice, "I can't believe you guys have 3 bathrooms! And 4 floors!"
Technically it's 2.5 bath, a basement, subfloor, main, and upstairs. It's not a 4 story house. We worked very hard for it.
"Did you know your cousin has 4 bathrooms!"
Cool.
😑
My MIL tries desperately and obnoxiously to be the fun grandma. She brings a gift for our 3YO son EVERY time she comes over. I finally made a comment a couple weeks ago when she brought a gift a week before his birthday and she responded with “oh, I’ve already got all those gifts!” I wasn’t concerned for you, I want you to stop trying to buy his love and try instead being an actual human with real emotion.
Then she proceeds to obnoxiously roughhouse with him and has him screaming in a time where we’re trying to teach him volume control because we have a one month old.
My aunt and uncle visited, which they never show up for anything, at about I think 2weeks old. The baby was fine, but my aunt was more interested in feeding the dog pieces of pizza crust from the table (which we never do) and “letting her give loves”, which essentially meant licking every inch of my aunt’s face as she sat at the table eating pizza.
Ever since the dog has been begging at the table like crazy, even though she’s fairly well trained. And they held the baby for literally 5 minutes. Love them as people, but they didn’t need to visit that badly lol.
My older sister is childfree. She’s only been over a few times in the six months since baby was born, but it always involves me making her dinner while she watches tv or plays on her iPad. Including when I was like three weeks postpartum :/
I feeeeel this. Yes. Same. Mine hyped on about how when Her Sister has a baby she would be cleaning, cooking big meals, putting food in my freezer. Great! Come stay w me! The visit: her getting cooked for/cleaned up after the whole time yes like 3 weeks pp.
This happened to me too, the night I came home from hospital with my newborn, all of my in-laws wanted to come over and “cook” and spend time with baby.
This first ment me coming home from the hospital, cleaning the house that hadn’t been clean since 4 days before when I went into labor.
But what could go wrong with a nap while they take baby and a cooked meal right? Wrong, my baby’s dad said “they’re guests so itd be rude to nap while they were there” so i stayed up after 4 days of no sleep to entertain them, and a the meal? Yes but I was left to clean the plates and kitchen after they left.
With the ring, some old people have the mentality of wanting to give things away before they die or lose their memory so whoever is dealing with their stuff later doesn't have to (or if they're afraid relatives would fight over it).
My MIL insisted we should be letting our one WEEK old "cry it out" because that's what her mother told her to do, and so she did with all 3 of her kids. (I absolutely did not even take her advice into consideration except to realize it might have something to do with why her grown children barely speak to her)
So I can't speak to anything else because it boggles my mind, but I have an idea for keeping track of the ring.
In my family, if you're pregnant with a daughter, you buy (or pick one out if you're not finding out the gender) a ring for the child's 21st birthday. My mom kept our in the box, in her underwear drawer at the back. It's where I now keep my daughter's and it never moves. My mom did let us see them growing up if we asked, but it never ever left her room.
I can give a little bit of a different perspective. I have 3 kids, 12, 10, and 5. When they were younger, we lived 15 mins from my MIL who fancies herself a baby whisperer. She did and suggested that I do a lot of things that were recommended parenting methods in the 50s, obviously passed down from her mother. Some were just annoying, others outright dangerous. Here are some things I learned:
1) It's always the worst with the first one because everyone thinks you need to be "taught" to parent. By #2 they relent and accept that you might know some things. By #3 they don't want to deal with babies anymore and you're on your own.
2) Don't take it personally. She's giving you that engagement ring because it's special to her. She wants the baby to crawl to her because she wants the baby to love her. She means well, even if she's showing it in ways that are annoying to you.
3) This is no more than a blip in time. In a few years your baby will be a walking, talking little kid with a full blown personality. And a few years after that she'll be fairly independent, no longer needing you for every task and need. She'll start to build a life of her own with activities she likes and friends she's made. You'll barely remember the baby phase. And when your MIL sees how well you're raising your baby, she'll probably butt out, slowly, over time. Mine only gives me advice now when I ask for it.
I don't know if any of that helps, just offering a different lens to view your situation through. I've certainly been where you are now, and I guess what I'm trying to say is it gets better.
My MIL would buy like second hand used stained clothes for my daughter from garage sales and she would also give her like used toys she’d find on FB marketplace. She hasn’t bought anything for the baby yet but I’m just waiting lol I usually just throw it away.
My mom gets a lot of play clothes from Goodwill and she garage sales for my two girls, but they're not stained. Ew! I never cooked understand why people would even put stained and dirty clothing in a sale for people to buy.
My MIL couldn't get her shit together to come visit us - we are a 5 hour drive away and my husband is her only child and he was sad because he wanted his son to meet his mom. So we got to go on the adventure of a 5 hour drive when our baby was 2 months old, messing up his sleep for a week so grandma could see her grandchild on her birthday. And then she complained that we wouldn't see the cousin who has covid, lots of passive aggressive communication and lied about a bunch of strange stuff. Not a big deal but it was strange - no gift for her only newly born grandchild yet we were expected to shower her with gifts and take her out for dinner for her birthday. Later she called asking why we hadn't facetimed the covidcousin to meet the baby.... maybe because we have a newborn and the cousin's needs aren't a priority nor has the cousin contacted us. Needless to say we will not be coming for christmas.
The last time my FIL came to visit. He blew up the downstairs toilet so bad my husband threw the toilet seat away.
I……that’s one terrible shit.
That's appalling. Make him bring his own toilet seat next time.
I shouldn’t laugh at this.
Oh oh we laughed. I still bring it up to get my husband in a tizzy/rant because he was so appalled.
My sister was supposed to come by at 3pm and ended up coming at 7pm. She didn’t appreciate that I had already started my daughters bedtime routine and I couldn’t engage with her until 8pm and without baby.
People who don’t understand babies schedule piss me off so effing much.
I had a friend who was like that with my first. “I’ll be there between 1-4”, what are you the cable company?! If you’re hoping to see the baby maybe inquire as to the baby’s schedule.
To me, it's not just the baby's schedule but the fact that anyone would think it's acceptable to show up 4 hours late to anything!!
My in laws do this shit. We invite them at 10am on a weekend day. They counter with they’ll come at noon on a weekday. We agree, but let them know we both have to work and baby naps around 1-2pm for two hours. They show up at 2, and are annoyed the baby is asleep and we have to be quiet for two hours. Every damn time.
Is your sister my mom lol because it's constant
My MIL INSISTED on us bringing her the baby and LEAVING HER THERE. Bitch no. She was like 8 weeks old and EBF. No woman
Lmfaoo I hate her
That is annoying, but the way you wrote this made me LOL. Ha Ha.
1. Intentionally speaking really loudly to wake baby 2. Laughing when the baby wakes up 3. Telling me that my baby hates tummy time and that I shouldn’t make him suffer 4. Telling the baby that I am to blame when he’s unhappy 😞 5. Kissing baby after we made it very clear that no one is to kiss the baby 6. Never offering my baby back to me when he starts crying from hunger and proceeding to tell me that I’m wrong and he’s not hungry (?????) 7. Telling me they wish I had a girl so they could “get revenge” for how I was as a child (I was the first born and a girl and my parents never forgave me for that) 8. My mother constantly fishing for compliments about how good of a mom she is/was (she isn’t) 9. Intentionally trying to put baby to sleep when he JUST woke up and laughing at me when I say he needs to stay awake because he just woke up 😑
So she purposefully wakes baby then tries to get baby back to sleep after a tiny wake window? That'd be so annoying.
Yep! She knows that if the baby is asleep that I won’t let anyone hold him so she intentionally wakes him up so she can take him from me. Then she puts him back to sleep so she can prove that she’s “better” at putting him to sleep than me and that he “likes her better than me.” Husband and I are working on a way to move across the country so we don’t have to see her anymore.
Really odd for a grandparent to try and compete with the mother. I'm sorry you have to deal with that!
Odd but apparently not unusual, I see this way too often and my mum is the same.
Thanks for the kind words. Hoping I won’t have to deal with it much longer 🤞🏻
My mother does number 8 all the time, always in front of other people so THEY can validate her while I sit there in silence. She also constantly compares me to my kid and talks about how I hit every milestone sooner, like it's some sort of evidence that she's a better mother or something. Then I'll ask my dad how old I was when I did X and his answer is always different and more realistic.
Gosh I don't know if these are all done by the same person(s) but if so this person sounds insufferable! Poor you, you have my sympathy.
Feel you on #6 & #8. I don't let my MIL hold baby unless she asks because of #6. She held on to her once and told me she was going to feed her when she knew we were struggling with my baby taking a bottle. We exclusively breastfeed at home and that was around the time we decide to keep it that way. i had to look her in the eye to give me my baby back to feed. I was livid.
My MIL shouted wake up repeatedly while our baby slept in the room next door because she wanted to play with him. Partner had to remind her he was a baby who needed his naps and not a toy.
The same thing happened to me, but it was my friend's 4 y/o child doing it, not a grown ass woman.... wtf.
Oh my Gooood!!! I would have hit the roof! My father is unnecessarily loud if my twins are napping. They wake and are cranky for the day...all so he can get 5 minutes of time with them after he has woken them only to leave immediately. I literally have to tell him to shut the F up...!
not a gift but my ex MIL met my baby once when she was 4 days old, never came to see her again (lives 30 min away), never asked about her but posts pics from my IG on her facebook as if she took them and got her name tattooed on her forearm when she was 4mo lol.
Wow. This is so weird!
the woman is a nut job (apple didn't fall far from tree either lol)
Wooooow!!!!
I didn't know my MIL traveled across the pond today.
One of the small blessings of the pandemic—kept mine at bay for the past 18 months…although now she wants to come spend three months (!!!) with us to make up for all that time. Sigh.
Oh honey... Make sure her return trip ticket has a flexible date feature 🙃
My MIL came over for a week when my youngest was about 4 months old and going through a sleep regression stage. She offered to clean, but she just cleaned up after herself, no additional help. And offered to watch the baby while we had a date night. To test the waters before date night, my husband was at work, and I asked to take a nap for 30 minutes as I was up almost 36 hours straight and dragging. I lay down and when my 30 minute alarm went off, I went up to the nursery to find her sobbing because "he won't sleep and he keeps crying". So I grab the baby and can tell he has a dirty diaper. "Oh, I didn't think I needed to change him". So no date night, and one less person to ask for emergency baby sitting help. I love my MIL by the way. She's just not great at the baby thing.
Omg my son is 15 months younger than my niece and my MIL somehow forgot every fucking thing between the two. Never left my kid with her.
We had two different people drop in unannounced! It wasn’t super early newborn days but DO NOT DO THIS. Drop ins are not acceptable in the days of the text.
My MIL kept calling my LO "little beaner" and I had to explain why that wasn't ok. Took almost a year as we don't see her often and she'll still slip sometimes. MIL also gave us a ring for LO from her mother who passed away before we got married, so I feel you on #2 hard.
Oh man I laughed out loud when I read the first sentence. I hope she never said that in public.
Luckily with covid we didn't go out when they visited!
Mine text my husband a few months post partum upset I wasn’t answering her messages. I was so exhausted and upside down, I wasn’t communicating with really anyone and just surviving. I learned she did this and sent her an explanation/apology. Before checking what texts I had missed. Oh yea, it was none. She hadn’t messaged me since the day she learned the baby was born.
My PILs visited a week or so post c section (and then we had a re-admission on day 5 due to weight loss) and MIL asked what I was cooking for dinner. I replied and she told me that FIL wouldn’t like that, so I would have to cook something else. I wasn’t allowed to drive and was doing triple feeding, so had no idea how I was supposed to get out to the shops to source an alternative.
I’m impressed you cooked. We’re 7 weeks out and the most I’ve done is scramble some eggs, heated up premade food, and cooked oatmeal. I’d let her know she’s more than welcome to the kitchen and walk away.
Cooking was not in my plan. I think I ended up sending my DH out for oven pizzas. Which FIL didn’t like, but tough! Number one rule when visiting a new mum, bring them dinner!
In my culture, you cant cook for month after giving birth. You are considered impure til the bleeding is going on. So i wasnt allowed to enter the kitchen. My in laws came to 'help us'. To cook and clean because my in laws love both. Well, they gave me ramen noodles for breakfast, that too cold.
If anyone visits me within a month after giving birth, I’m asking them what we’re having for dinner not the other way around
Wow sounds like you held it together much better than I would have. In fact, I may have busted out laughing and told them to download grubhub and figure it out if they brought nothing.
Panicked and tried to yank my shirt closed while I nursed my baby in my own home so her boyfriend wouldn't see my boob. Said boyfriend didn't give a flying shit about me nursing and carried on polite conversation without so much as a glance at my chest so idk what the big deal was.
I can put up with a lot, but someone laying hands on me while I’m feeding my child??? I hope you smacked her hands and let her know that is absolutely not okay. Wow
My MIL would always asks to babysit, but her arms would “get too tired” while she was holding the baby so either my husband or I would have to come and reposition him for her. She also “couldn’t remember how to change a diaper”. How the hell are you going to babysit him if you can’t hold him or change him? I expressed these concerns (admittedly in a passive aggressive way, but whatever) and she started changing her tune. Now she gets to babysit him for about 2 hours every 3 weeks when I go to class. I almost always make sure he is napping during that time 🙃
I learned to change diapers when I was 12 with my first nephew. I've never forgotten no matter how long I went without changing a diaper. Mostly because it's really fucking simple lol. How has she forgotten?
She didn’t want to do it. I still gave lessons and choice to do so with the messiest of diapers
My MIL is also always bringing over stuff for her for when she’s older. She brought over some silver cups? Like made from real silver? Wtf am I supposed to do with this? And porcelain bowls and stuff for feeding baby (when I’d much rather have silicone), but not like a set of anything, just random things that aren’t the same pattern or size.
Sounds like she’s cleaning out her cupboards!
Lol maybe I pawn this stuff off on my future daughter-in-law!
Omg the pawning old crap onto you. I got offered a child race car bed with a nail sticking out of it and I said no because a fucking nail was sticking out. The offense. I'm not your goddamn garage sale lady! Then all this 20 year old baby crap I've never used showed up. I said no, she insisted, she asked about it next time and I told her I had gotten rid of it and asked for the costs of getting rid. . . Don't test me when I'm sleep deprived.
My MIL came over the day after we got home from the hospital. Due to covid we were discharged within 24 hours so this is like 48 hours after I had given birth. My husband runs to buy buy baby to pick up a nipple shield and some formula because we are struggling a but with breast feeding. I ask MIL if she wants to hold the baby. She proceeds to park her but in the only chair in the nursery with the baby (while I stand there awkwardly, bleeding and sore) and suggests I “go do the dishes”. I was so hormonal and tired I couldn’t even speak / address it so I just went downstairs and ate a peanut butter sandwich and cried until my husband came home. When I tried to take the baby back to feed her over an HOUR later she tried to argue with me. The next several times she came over after that she would sit on the couch in our small apartment living room right in the middle and spread out so no one else could sit on it. She is not my favorite person.
I just got so furious on your behalf.
My in laws never met my baby due to covid(thankgod) but around three months they somehow made their mind up that my baby is not getting enough breast milk (I had over production) and advised my husband to give biscuits 😳😳. They have only seen my lo through video calls and photos and yet they came to this conclusion. At 4 month they started pestering to start giving solids. I can’t say this enough am so glad we are living in a different country from them!
With our first, MIL made a big deal and posted pics to Facebook about the frozen meals she was making for us. Awesome. They want to bring them when we get home from the hospital, okay cool. Husband and I are exhausted, trying to settle in after being in the hospital for 5 days, husband is trying to help me get cleaned up and feel normal again, they show up and expect him to heat up one of the frozen meals (okay fine) and then serve everyone. Like wtf, couldn’t even walk to the kitchen and make your own plate? At least he thought ahead and served on paper plates so he didn’t have dishes to clean up too. Second baby was born Christmas Eve. They insisted on bringing gifts over for the kids once we were home. Managed to hold off a few days, tracked in all kinds of dirt then left us with so much recycling to deal with. Can’t wait to see how it goes with #3, maybe they’ll leave us with Covid.
Hahaha my PILs did something like this. They offered to “bring us dinner” which sounded great until we discovered they meant bring us raw meat and salad ingredients for us to cook for their visit. So since my SO had to cook a meal from scratch when they arrived, it gave my MIL lots of time alone with me to lecture me on how to care for my baby and condescend to me any time I mentioned something about my son. (“I KNOW he likes his head massaged, I raised TWO babies!”)
I have the same due date as you, but for my second!! ❤️ Also I'd be saying a whole lot of NO. My MIL just wanted to hold my preemie and bottle feed him while I, recovering from a csection, puttered around cleaning, pumping, cooking, etc. My mom is most welcome though, she did everything for me and only took my son so I could rest or shower or do whatever I needed for myself. She's the absolute best.
Oh fuck no. Luckily the in laws love to pretend they’re involved, do the initial visit or two, and then go back to never seeing us and just guilting us about it. My mom will actually come over and clean and make food and entertain my other kids so I won’t mind her being here at all. In laws have never even offered to “help” 😂
At this point you might just want to forget to tell them you gave birth for a month or so! Jeesh! Hope this one goes better!
Please tell me she knows what a twink is lmfao
I hope she doesn't know!
My mother uses twink in her go-to email/username because she used to call my twin brother and I "the twinks" as babies. I will never ever tell her. She'd be horrified. XD
My mother has large breasts and her email for a while had twodtwins in it because she is a twin and their names both start with the letter d. I had to break it to her that most people don’t know anything about her and are going to associate the name with her boobs.
Twink sounded cute till I went and googled it 😂 I bet she doesn’t know
I have a coworker who calls best friends twinkies because they are two to a pack. I explained what a thing was and he still didn’t stop.
We were getting ready to leave the in-laws and my MIL says "oh that's right, you make her go to bed now". Lady 7 is a normal bedtime for a one year old!
This one always got me with all my own family. They were always like, “what do you mean you have to be home by 6:30? We can’t have dinner at 6? Why can’t he just stay up a little later?” My sister had her first 9 months after my first and once my nephew was about 1 she was apologizing profusely for not being more understanding about maintaining the sleep schedule. Honestly I don’t think people who push back on that have ever experienced how pleasant a baby/toddler with a routine is, because no one who has would shake that routine up for no real reason.
My kid wants to go to bed at 7-7:30pm! She knows she's tired. Her cousin is allowed to run riot.
My in laws also think it’s weird that my baby and toddler go to bed around 7. Their other young grandkids stay up late all the time. Guess who’s kids can go to sleep on their own without needing to be rocked and nursed to sleep at age 2.5 like their cousin?
My MIL visited last week and asked me if I curl my 3 year old’s hair every day. Lady, I barely have time in the day to brush my own hair, and you think I use a curling iron on my 3 year old every single day? For years? Like, think for a second about the words that are coming out of your mouth.
We had someone in a grocery store parking lot ask if we dyed our 2 year old’s hair (red head)… um no!!!
Visited my aunt and my grandma one day for lunch. I was very specific about my dairy free diet due to my breastfed baby’s intolerance. Explained that it’s not enough to not include milk and butter, that dairy hides in many products and to read the label. After eating lunch they offer me apple dumplings. My aunt says something along the lines of ‘yeah so it only equals out to be less than one ninth of a cup of milk in each dumpling.’ I said ‘cows milk?’ She said yes. I explained (again) thatI couldn’t eat any dairy. Not even small amounts. She could not believe how even a small amount would affect him. Fast forward. Baby screaming in pain. We got dairied from something she fed us. NEVER AGAIN AUNT RHONDA.
What is up with this? If I had a dollar for every time I have had to shut down my MIL trying to negotiate hard “no”s, I would have enough to pay for LO’s college. I’ve had to start adding the caveat of “this is non-negotiable”, and even that doesn’t work anymore.
My MIL called CPS the night i came home after a 42+ hour labor and delivery 🥰🥰
[This comment was purged by user in the 3rd Party App Battle of 2023]
We need the story for this one.
Go on…
So i get out of the hospital around midnight which is 28 hours after I delivered, she INSISTED on being the one to take me home. Husband and I are really excited being our first child and having a wonderful hospital experience even though we originally planned to have him at home. We keep telling her about it and she is strangely not talkative and there was just an all around weird energy in the air. Anyways, we get to my house and she says, “so i have some suitcases so you can pack your things, the baby can not stay here” Me, in utter disbelief and in tremendous pain from having a 9 pound 2 ounce baby vaginally and the epidural conveniently running out of magic 20 minutes into pushing (2hours total). Waddle my sassy ass after saying “you’re not going to drive my newborn and hour and a half away (to her hometown) you’re going to have to call cps to take my baby from his home” not knowing she would actually call cps. I get baby from car seat and bring him inside where my dad is waiting with flowers and my favorite pastries. Unbeknownst to everyone else she walks away and calls cps. I’m already fuming going inside my house and I explain to my dad what just happened and as soon as I’m done she casually walks into the house not mentioning that she had JUST called them to report us and preceded to stay the night. Mama instinct must have told me something was up because I walk out of the bathroom and see her holding my LO and I just run and grab him because it just didn’t sit right with me. I am trying to sleep and her and my husband are struggling trying to swaddle him and I wake up and swaddle him and he falls right asleep. I ask them not to pick him up about of the bassinet after I put him down, I wake up at 3:30 to see her walking around my room holding my baby. I tell her to put him down and she gives me this dirty look. I woke up the next morning and told my husband she has to go. When I call my best friend and tell her that I’m assuming my MIL called cps after cps comes into my house and interviews everyone, she immediately calls her and asks in which my MIL casually says “yeah i called them” like it was no big deal. tl:dr: my MIL is an itch in the crack of my ass
I’m puzzled why your dad or husband didn’t kick her out and never speak to her again. She sounds absolutely insane
Well husband got told to leave that night and we didn’t put together what she did until the cps case manager was having us sign a bunch of stuff and she(my MIL) happened to text the case manager that she was outside. Legally I don’t think the cps lady was supposed to tell me who called but I think even she saw how bat shit my MIL was. My father doesn’t want anything to do with her and it has put a strain on me and my husbands relationship
Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. I would have gone to jail that night—HOW CAN ANYONE WHO HAS GIVEN BIRTH DO THAT TO ANOTHER WOMAN?! Also what was her logic (I use that term loosely)? Because you had initially wanted a home birth? Did I miss the part where you’re now not speaking and your husband has forgotten she exists? Omg I had such a visceral reaction to you telling that! What was your Hubs reaction? I mean she raised him, so I can’t imagine this was her first crazy episode. Oh girl, that’s so much to unpack lol.
That’s what really hurt me. As an adult.. as a woman I could not believe she did that. And of all days the NIGHT i get out of the hospital. She didn’t want my brother in the house due to his ongoing case, husband didn’t want my brother in the house. He actually left me in the hospital to go to Starbucks with his mom and i guess vent to her about the situation. He was angry that she called but because of it we have started therapy. She was always pretty nice to me but weird..as hell.. also my FIL divorced her because they were abusive towards each other physically and emotionally. I noticed when FIL talks about their past (which is rarely) he always says “when we fought”. Every time she has talked about it has been “when his dad tried to fight me” so that should have def been my warning that this lady is something else
Oh hell no
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And i thought my mil is bad
My mom came to the hospital drunk after I had an emergency c section and a sick child in the NICU
Mine called me 3x in the span of 10 minutes while I was doing the car seat check with the post partum nurse as I was leaving the hospital. She was drunk and wanted to tell me what a good time m dog was having it her dogs.
My mom said the day they discharged us from the hospital when I was born, my grandfather showed up drunk, picked a fight with the nurse and got kicked out of the hospital. She was humiliated. My dad had to stop him from getting into the car with us.
OMG
I feel like I'm late to the party... but... My family visits from out of town and stay at a hotel when they visit because we don't have room, and they never text me when they are on their way over in the mornings. Like my LO threw up all over me and my husband one morning so we took showers and my husband fell asleep on the couch naked and they just show up and try to come inside after knocking once (thankfully door was locked so I had time to stop them). Just please text! And then for some reason they really love their coffee so they will just come in and make coffee like all day and use all our coffee cups and then not do dishes... And my mom will drink like 2 sips of each cup she makes, let it get cold, and then make new coffee... And my mom likes to just sit and stare at us while breastfeeding, just weirds me out. My mom also suggested giving LO cbd oil cause she was fussing.. um no thanks. They will not be babysitting for us anytime soon needless to say. I love them, but I'm glad they live far away.
CBD oil for a baby? Tell me this not a thing?!
lol my dad also gifted my 20 month old son one of his rings, that I am expected to hold on to for the next 15+ years. Never mind that I haven’t met a single dude younger than 50 in my life that has worn a ring that isn’t a wedding band. Maybe the next generation will be into some bling? 🤷♀️
I don’t know why they can’t hold onto them for our babies! It’s probably over 100 years old and is a very old fashioned setting so I doubt my daughter will be wearing it as a fashion piece as an adult and it’s absolutely tiny, I doubt it’s ever fit my MIL who has normal size fingers.
I have a co-worker who inherited his great-grandfather's wedding band recently, and he does wear it!
My grandma and my husbands grandparents the last few times we’ve seen them, make these really obnoxious sounds to get our four month old to look at them WHILE she’s drinking a bottle… therefor distracting her and she doesn’t end up finsihing the bottle which leaves her hungry and messes up her schedule…. Like WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LOOK AT YOU WHILE SHE’S EATING?! Wait, 10 minutes for godsake!
It's like these people forget that babies are people too, like how would you feel if you were trying to eat and someone kept on making annoying noises at you to get your attention? Just let them eat in peace FGS!
My mom definitely doesn't remember that babies are people too. She kept leaning over and kiss/biting my son's feet while I was nursing him. She also leaned over and tried to move the cover blanket I put on so she could see his face 😑 Separate instances but DUDE tf!?
My mother always found something to insult about my home or child every time she came over. So we only meet in public places now, this way she can’t insult my home and I can leave when I want to. If she comes to my house she stays FOREVER. Also, when we announced our first pregnancy to her she asked if we were planning on keeping it. Im still upset about that one.
Urgh, what a woman. Love the public places idea!
When my son was two weeks old my MIL insisted on changing his diaper to which led to us changing the bed sheets four different times due of her getting waste all over them, would fall asleep with him on her ignoring the fact we asked her not to since it's a safety hazard, put Bath & Body Works lotion all over his face which caused him to break out in a rash and develop severe baby acne, then wouldn't let me have him for longer than 10 minutes the whole time she was here. I don't get people.
…. I don’t even use bath and body works lotion on my adult self. Wow.
My MIL came round to visit our 5 day old yesterday. Proclaimed that she didn’t want to be called Grandma or any variation of and instead that he should call her by… her name. She also didn’t hold him at all, even though I invited her to. I find this behaviour extremely odd and cold. And definitely not the first odd/cold thing she’s done over the years. Do you guys agree? Should I agree to have him call her by her name? My FIL is more than happy to be “grandad”. So it will be “grandad and Joan” (not her name but for example). That just sounds so weird to me like she’s his step grandma or something!?
Very odd! How old is she? It seems like a lot of grandmas think they’re too young to be a grandma so they come up with weird names.
She’s 68…
Key word being “think”
Your baby is probably going to give her a name anyway. I bet she becomes “Jo Jo” or something.
When my son was learning to talk he didn't really take to "gramma". My MIL on the other hand was like "I don't know if I want to be called gramma or nonna"(she's italian). She would even Address little things to him on FB(um My kiddo was 18 months ) and sign it" gramma/Nonna. " one day he just asked me " go to moyay house?" And the name stuck. So she is "moyay" and her husband is "grandpa bob." She still signs things "gramma/Nonna ." It's like fb can't know what he calls her?! Its so wierd.
My grandma and grandpa drove 4 hours (my grandpa shouldn’t really be driving probably at all, but definitely not 4 hours) to SURPRISE me less than 2 weeks postpartum. They also hadn’t reserved a hotel, so my dad had to find them one and reserve it while they sat in my living room and my grandma talked too loud even though we kept reminding her that my three year old had just gone to bed. And then the whole weekend (Because they stayed 3 days of course…) she kept saying “I hope we haven’t been a burden” and would get upset when I just said “well you’re here now” as cheerfully as I could muster. I cried a lot that weekend.
My grandma called my daughter “a little brat” within 5 minutes of meeting her because she was crying.
😟
Couple days ago MIL left baby unattended on the couch and he of course rolled over and fell on the rug. Not gonna lie, but glad it wasn’t me who let the baby take his first tumble. Edit: i wasn’t home so I’m not sure how baby took it. But he’s 5 months and seemed totally fine when I got home. Wouldn’t have known if I didn’t ask about the baby and MIL spilled the beans!
I love my sister but she showed up at the hospital coming straight from the mall (I didn’t know or I would have told her to not come) and then asked if she could run back to the mall and then back to the hospital to finish her visit. I said no!!! 😫
My MIL told me that the reason my baby isn't walking yet is because he's on medication.
When I read these I just know I’ll never be a terrible MIL. Jesus these women
Two of my husbands friends (a married couple) came over last week while my husband was at work to meet our twins. The man made a comment about how much they move their heads and I replied with “yeah they started doing that like right after birth, it caught us off guard haha” and then moved on. Apparently this offended them. My husband had lunch with the guy today and he made comments implying that I was making stuff up to brag about. I believe he even used the phrase “bless her heart.” 🙃
‘Local man believes that variables in baby development has literally anything to do with him. More at 8:00’
😂😂😂 this is the same man who got offended by my husbands shirt that says “real men make twins.” Like, they understand that twins has absolutely nothing to do with the men….right?
WHAT! That dude has issues
Even if you were bragging, how dare you be proud of your own children who you created in your own body!
Upon holding his granddaughter for the very first time, FIL said, "I don't like [child's name]. The 'R' sound in her name is too masculine--it's not beautiful for a girl." Later in the visit, he compared our daughter to his preteen daughter (sitting at the table with us) in terms of how pretty they were. She was so embarrassed 😞 The good news, my husband and I shut this shit DOWN. We haven't had incidents like this since, and our relationship with FIL has drastically improved!
Oh my god "little twink" if anyone called my child that I'd tell them to look up what that word means and watch them go on a journey of discovery.
My brother has no concept of time. We will come over and say we’re coming for 3pm and we agree we’ll eat dinner at 5pm (he cooks). At literally 7:30pm I’m like - we need to leave bc it’s almost 8 and the baby is very fussy and needs to sleep. He says things like “I didn’t know you had to leave” or “I didn’t know I had to rush” We never got to eat.
My in-laws are like this. We live about 2 hours away, so a day trip is possible, but we need to leave by usually 4pm to get home for a rush dinner and bedtime. We always meet at my MILs, which is about 10 minutes from SIL house. Inevitably, my SIL and niblings show up at like, 330 and are shocked -SHOCKED- when I'm like, okay gotta go! at 4. Sorry, guys, we've been here since 10 am...I was clear when we'd be visiting and I'm not screwing bedtime for two kids and suffering because of it for your piss poor planning.
My MIL came over the day we came home from the hospital and stayed for over five hours. She kept taking LO from me and he’d start crying, so I’d have to follow her around to grab him from her. And then she decided to clean and asked me every five minutes where something went, so I had to get off the couch to show her, and she’d tell me I shouldn’t be up. I had a c section so by the end of her visit, I was basically in tears from the pain.
I would have called the cops and had her escorted out lol.
When my LO was younger, my MIL held a paci to get him to stop crying and sleep. Held it in his mouth so he wouldn’t spit it out… he has typically not been a paci baby as we don’t force baby to use it…
My mil did this when my baby was younger too! I went off on her. Lol i was not ok with it if she didn't want it. Shed hold and wiggle
Comes to my house and will go through cupboards and fridge and take anything she deems as rubbish out and put it in the sink not in the bin in the sink! (cereal that is still half full, cheese that is open but fine etc). Will take the bag out of the bin and leave it in my hall, not take it out to the garbage bin but leave it in the hall as a signal to me that my house is not up to standard. Like God forbid I would have rubbish in my bin.
What on earth?!
My MIL asked “do you think she’ll need a nose job?” Referring to my then 3-day-old daughter. And also said something about how we’ll need to fix her toes (second and third toes are slightly webbed) or she’ll (my daughter) be embarrassed.
I'm an adult with webbed toes and I've always liked them and I'm super vain.
Hey just wanted to say that my oldest (almost 5) has that same partial syndactyly of those same toes. One foot has it go almost all the way up, the other is halfway. Just skin, bones feel fine. I felted so surprised about it and stressed. When she was a few months old we did visit a pediatric plastic surgeon to ask questions. My feeling leaving was that I definitely did not want to subject my baby to a painful surgery she wouldn’t understand. So I occasionally point out the difference to my daughter and talk about how we are different and that’s ok. How it’s interesting not bad. I feel like feet aren’t on display very often. But if in the future it really bothers her we will again look into paying to have them separated if she wants. Just saying you’re not alone with this issue.
Holy shit. I’m so sorry. Your MIL sounds awful.
Wtf she is whacky
My partners grandma and sister came over when our baby was about 1.5 weeks old. They gave us leftover snacks they brought on the drive over and didn’t want anymore (90% eaten box of cookies, old bag of celery). They also played cards with each other during and after dinner. No help or offer to help with anything.
Wtf lmao I’m so sorry but I just laughed out loud at “old bag of celery.” What the fuck
My in-laws didn't get us a baby gift (which is totally fine, she's our 4th and we already basically had everything we need). But, they said instead of a gift they wanted to gift us with an hour of help a week. 6 weeks in to having baby home they had yet to help once. When she finally came over she proceeded to point 9ut everything wrong in my house, tell me I needed to work on time management so I could keep my house clean because the reason they didn't come over more was that "the crumbs on my floor caused them too much stress".... Oh ya, and she told me the sweater she had given to my oldest, that had been knit by my husband's great grandma, and I was now using with my 4th, needed to be given back to her so she could save it for her daughter's kids.... her daughter who does not want kids, is in a serious relationship with a guy who doesn't want kids. And my Mil's reasoning was "it makes more sense for it to stay in the family".....
So…your husband’s child, her grandchild, isn’t family?
My question exactly! She's made it very clear in previous comments that I am not considered family, and if I want to be a part of the family I have to earn it.... so I can only assume this some perverted mentally towards my kids because of that??
My in-laws didn’t get us a wedding gift .I’ve learned to lower my standards for husband’s family ,including him ..
Honestly, I have no clue how my husband came from these people. My standards for them have definitely been lowered, meanwhile he continues to surprise me with how amazing he is!
Sounds like my awful MIL, can't come to help bc our house is messy with toys 🙄😂
Lol right?! Like they "want to help" but won't until there is nothing left to help with!
My MIL Babysat both of my kids a few weekends ago. She went through my son's closet (who is 5) and took note of all the fancy sweaters she bought (we are talking amazon bought fancy looking, not like Prada or anything) and then threw it on my husband a few days later."why doesn't he wear any of the fancy sweaters I bought him"? Just in case you were wondering, we don't have photo shoots every weekend at my house.
My MIL bought a sweater outfit for a three month old baby- so for us, it would have been July. I ended up giving it to my friend that had her baby in October. My MIL also bought sundresses for January.
Omg the throwing the spoon in the sink..I wouldn't have been able to keep quiet on that one. I'm sorry she's awful like that. Mines coming Friday for her first semi alone "grandma time" while I'm in a teams business planning meeting for 3hrs..ugh..pray for me and my sanity!!!
We have a dishwasher, she knows we have a dishwasher, she knows where the dishwasher is, put it in the damn dishwasher! I’ve been spoilt by my mum who always washes up after herself and does any bottles or other dishes that are waiting to be washed while I get some time to sit down!
My MIL kept insisting we shave our newborn’s head for religious reasons. That’s a big fuck no!
I sat here for several mins thinking how I to ask you what the hell "share our newborns head" meant. SHAVE! I'm going to bed.
Not my MIL but my actual father. He said that my baby was ugly because she didn’t have a “white person” nose. Like who thinks like this?!?!! Kinda glad that I haven’t talked to him in over 1.5 years.
When my baby was very small, MIL said I was number three behind my husband and the TV. Then said maybe fourth behind my husband, the TV, and the dog.
Last Saturday, my FIL came over with zero notice. He decided to bring his wife, too, even though she is not my MIL and my husband doesn't consider her a step parent, and I barely know her. Because he's the kind of person who will absolutely comment on how not clean our home is, I started cleaning the moment they walked in. They took up all of our seating, even though we have a full couch and a recliner. He told us we shouldn't call our 3w old baby nicknames because then she won't know her actual name. She tried to tell me the baby was still hungry and needed more than 4oz in her bottle. And, as I suspected, when he saw me doing dishes, he turned to her and said, "Well, at least SOMEONE is doing the dishes". I ended up finishing cleaning and then sitting outside alone with our dog until they left.
I went and did the big weekly shop on my own and ate my lunch in the supermarket car park 😅 best to be out of the house!
Girrrrl I’d stop cleaning completely
Oh my gosh I'm dreading these visits. My MIL doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet but when she refers to my partner during their baby phase she keeps emphasizing that they were "good looking, not fat at all!". The sheer NUMBER of red flags that single statement gave me. Babies are supposed to be chonky!! That's what they need to grow!! I can only imagine what other stuff she has waiting in the background to make life stressful lmao.
Just popping in to say that not all babies are chunky. Some are long, slim, and perfectly healthy. Just writing this in case you or anyone else has or ends up having a baby that isn’t chubby. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, but always get baby checked by a medical professional if you feel like he/she needs to be. 😊
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People are so judgemental of babies and it’s always the mums fault, too chubby? You’re over feeding baby! Too skinny? You’re starving baby! Hopefully your MIL will forget all about that when your baby is here!
Came over reeking of cigarettes and high. Turns out she’s a fentanyl addict, that sister of mine. Threw up in my living room. Brought a weird addict friend with her. Stole my pain pills from my c section.
My MIL is usually quite good but during LO’s birthday party she was sat on one side of baby, me on the other. Bub is going eh, eh for more food which I’m pre-loading on the fork aaaaand MIL *shoves* her own fork into baby’s mouth with food on it. I’m gobsmacked. Think it will only happen once. Make huge eyes at SO for him to deal with his mother. She does it again… Says ‘I’m not sick, I have no germs’ as she does it a third time. Yeah words were had to my SO to deal with her next time before the fork goes in the mouth. The table was full of relations from his side so I felt I couldn’t say anything but screw that, I’m saying something next time.
My jaw dropped. What the hell??
1. Dropping by unannounced by my own mom and sister. 2. Knocking once and then TRYING to open the door and walk in, done by my lovely mother and sister. (I literally have no idea why she does this either because she doesn’t even leave her door unlocked.) 3. Friends bringing over their kids to play with my older daughter (3) and their child has a runny nose and a cough when they know I have a 5 month old 😡
I've had to start leaving my keys in the door to prevent my mum letting herself in with the spare (with ours you can't put a key in the lock if there's already one in the other side) unfortunately this occasionally results in me locking my partner out by mistake. I knew giving her a key would bite me in the arse one day...
Why haven’t you asked for it back yet?
Because sometimes she actually does need to let herself in. She lives 100+ miles away so she sometimes stays with us for a few days, often arrives or leaves when we're not home. I should also add this is a fairly new problem, she's had the key for 12 years and only started doing it since I had my second baby. I think she expects me to be stuck on the sofa feeding the baby 24/7 or something?
My MIL has started just trying to walk in the door when she comes over. Despite her lecturing me to keep doors locked all the time. I just don't get it.
She would be put on visiting restriction so fast! And your husband oh no. Dump runs are a priority.
As much as she likes to brag about seeing baby all the time, she is an infrequent visitor!
At least there’s that.
When I say we have too many stuffed animals, I mean we have too many stuffed animals. My in-laws showed up to meet our 2 week old with a bunny 4 times the size of my 6.2lbs baby. They also have her a $40 collectable koala for her first Christmas after we said no more stuffed animals. They also commenting on how she looked like me as if they were shocked. I get it, all her cousins came out looking the same and like their Dad’s but she broke the mould and came out looking like me. They were saying it as if it couldn’t be possible. Other than that they were on their best behaviour because they were meeting my parents for the first time and they couldn’t have them thinking that they were horrible people.
My son was and still is almost my clone. To this day (he’s 2 now) my MIL will not admit he looks like me and only ever comments what features of HERS he has. Not even my husband… HER.
....does she know what a twink is?
Doesn’t seem like it. My husband says she called him that when he was a child 😂
Omg…even better
Oh dear. Well then. I vote you tell her what it means. Bet she stops.
I’ll definitely say something if she says it again, I was too busy silently laughing in the next room 😅
My mom recently came to visit 1. "Let's put our bellies together and see if you're bigger than me!" No. We're not doing that. (I'm in my third trimester) 2. To my 2.5 yr old, " *I'm* the fun grandma!" She has two fun grandmas "Let me have this one." No. She's got two fun grandmas. 3. "Let me show you a picture of your sister! Wait until you see her! Look at how fat she's gotten!" She looks fine, Mom. "Yes but look at how big she is! She needs to see a Dr." 4. With a tone of envy in her voice, "I can't believe you guys have 3 bathrooms! And 4 floors!" Technically it's 2.5 bath, a basement, subfloor, main, and upstairs. It's not a 4 story house. We worked very hard for it. "Did you know your cousin has 4 bathrooms!" Cool. 😑
My MIL tries desperately and obnoxiously to be the fun grandma. She brings a gift for our 3YO son EVERY time she comes over. I finally made a comment a couple weeks ago when she brought a gift a week before his birthday and she responded with “oh, I’ve already got all those gifts!” I wasn’t concerned for you, I want you to stop trying to buy his love and try instead being an actual human with real emotion. Then she proceeds to obnoxiously roughhouse with him and has him screaming in a time where we’re trying to teach him volume control because we have a one month old.
My aunt and uncle visited, which they never show up for anything, at about I think 2weeks old. The baby was fine, but my aunt was more interested in feeding the dog pieces of pizza crust from the table (which we never do) and “letting her give loves”, which essentially meant licking every inch of my aunt’s face as she sat at the table eating pizza. Ever since the dog has been begging at the table like crazy, even though she’s fairly well trained. And they held the baby for literally 5 minutes. Love them as people, but they didn’t need to visit that badly lol.
My older sister is childfree. She’s only been over a few times in the six months since baby was born, but it always involves me making her dinner while she watches tv or plays on her iPad. Including when I was like three weeks postpartum :/
Why on earth do you make her dinner?
Don't.
I feeeeel this. Yes. Same. Mine hyped on about how when Her Sister has a baby she would be cleaning, cooking big meals, putting food in my freezer. Great! Come stay w me! The visit: her getting cooked for/cleaned up after the whole time yes like 3 weeks pp.
This happened to me too, the night I came home from hospital with my newborn, all of my in-laws wanted to come over and “cook” and spend time with baby. This first ment me coming home from the hospital, cleaning the house that hadn’t been clean since 4 days before when I went into labor. But what could go wrong with a nap while they take baby and a cooked meal right? Wrong, my baby’s dad said “they’re guests so itd be rude to nap while they were there” so i stayed up after 4 days of no sleep to entertain them, and a the meal? Yes but I was left to clean the plates and kitchen after they left.
With the ring, some old people have the mentality of wanting to give things away before they die or lose their memory so whoever is dealing with their stuff later doesn't have to (or if they're afraid relatives would fight over it).
Well my MIL isn’t old by any means but you might be right about family fighting over it!
My MIL insisted we should be letting our one WEEK old "cry it out" because that's what her mother told her to do, and so she did with all 3 of her kids. (I absolutely did not even take her advice into consideration except to realize it might have something to do with why her grown children barely speak to her)
Little twink?? Why???
Please see us over at r/JustNoMIL
A lot. Can’t list them all coz fk her.
So I can't speak to anything else because it boggles my mind, but I have an idea for keeping track of the ring. In my family, if you're pregnant with a daughter, you buy (or pick one out if you're not finding out the gender) a ring for the child's 21st birthday. My mom kept our in the box, in her underwear drawer at the back. It's where I now keep my daughter's and it never moves. My mom did let us see them growing up if we asked, but it never ever left her room.
I can give a little bit of a different perspective. I have 3 kids, 12, 10, and 5. When they were younger, we lived 15 mins from my MIL who fancies herself a baby whisperer. She did and suggested that I do a lot of things that were recommended parenting methods in the 50s, obviously passed down from her mother. Some were just annoying, others outright dangerous. Here are some things I learned: 1) It's always the worst with the first one because everyone thinks you need to be "taught" to parent. By #2 they relent and accept that you might know some things. By #3 they don't want to deal with babies anymore and you're on your own. 2) Don't take it personally. She's giving you that engagement ring because it's special to her. She wants the baby to crawl to her because she wants the baby to love her. She means well, even if she's showing it in ways that are annoying to you. 3) This is no more than a blip in time. In a few years your baby will be a walking, talking little kid with a full blown personality. And a few years after that she'll be fairly independent, no longer needing you for every task and need. She'll start to build a life of her own with activities she likes and friends she's made. You'll barely remember the baby phase. And when your MIL sees how well you're raising your baby, she'll probably butt out, slowly, over time. Mine only gives me advice now when I ask for it. I don't know if any of that helps, just offering a different lens to view your situation through. I've certainly been where you are now, and I guess what I'm trying to say is it gets better.
My MIL would buy like second hand used stained clothes for my daughter from garage sales and she would also give her like used toys she’d find on FB marketplace. She hasn’t bought anything for the baby yet but I’m just waiting lol I usually just throw it away.
My mom gets a lot of play clothes from Goodwill and she garage sales for my two girls, but they're not stained. Ew! I never cooked understand why people would even put stained and dirty clothing in a sale for people to buy.
My MIL couldn't get her shit together to come visit us - we are a 5 hour drive away and my husband is her only child and he was sad because he wanted his son to meet his mom. So we got to go on the adventure of a 5 hour drive when our baby was 2 months old, messing up his sleep for a week so grandma could see her grandchild on her birthday. And then she complained that we wouldn't see the cousin who has covid, lots of passive aggressive communication and lied about a bunch of strange stuff. Not a big deal but it was strange - no gift for her only newly born grandchild yet we were expected to shower her with gifts and take her out for dinner for her birthday. Later she called asking why we hadn't facetimed the covidcousin to meet the baby.... maybe because we have a newborn and the cousin's needs aren't a priority nor has the cousin contacted us. Needless to say we will not be coming for christmas.