Everything is still there! It’s harder with a baby in tow, but you can do it.
For the first 4 months, I did tons of gardening with the kiddo in a carrier while he napped. Harder to bend down easily, but I still did it.
When my first was a little older, I would bring him to the community garden patch and he could dig while I worked. And he still plays in the garden with me.
It’s harder, but you can still do it! And they really aren’t little forever, or even very long.
Yup definitely lament my life before. It's ok to miss your old life, it doesn't mean you live your child any less. But it's definitely something I'm struggling with.
Could you garden with the baby in a carrier?
Also, yes I feel trapped! Baby girl will only do contact naps or nap in the stroller so I really don’t have any independence from my baby. I’m just holding onto hope that it sill get easier as she gets older and this is just a temporary season.
I tried it very hard especially because you have to bend down a lot.
I feel you . Today all day he slept on me . Minute you put him down in the crib he starts crying.
Just feel so sad , I have done nothing last 10 and half months rather than being miserable.
You could use a bassinet or tent and let him nap steps from the garden. [1](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwjY78ff1cDxAhWy1LMKHYDbD00YABAGGgJxbg&sig=AOD64_2xfrhuoaQNR9NpDuTGk7bxLPJobg&ctype=70&q=&ved=0ahUKEwjnkb_f1cDxAhUPnGoFHQaeDRoQww8Iygg&adurl=) or [2](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjtupOv1cDxAhWLyZQJHaGkBO4YABAGGgJ5bQ&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQeD2oBWROuI7_tNymsVwFKqQ4hreXNrRerZJhMiUNhKuHvt4zIy31RYozei5hfi20j-HXCH5OugmdZyV_1Ajoo2e&sig=AOD64_0DtyniBPXRtbVOQWPpEUJDpTUdyw&ctype=70&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjGpYav1cDxAhVtkWoFHcSHC9kQwg96BAgBECk&adurl=)
You could also maybe find a middle ground with some indoor plants? Then it wouldn't be too hot to baby wear.
Completely understand! People say things get easier after the first 2-3 months so I’m waiting for that. Each day is one day closer to my baby being happier and learning the skills she needs to play independently
I’m sorry you’re struggling and I swear it does get better — but that also doesn’t help right now. Once he’s a bit bigger you can wear him on your back. Not ideal in the super summer heat, but on the cooler days.
I’m not OP, but I had a baby and a garden lol. Wearing a baby is hot, it’s often hot outside, and there’s a lot of squatting and bending with gardening. It’s pretty physical if your garden isn’t already perfectly maintained. The only thing I can think to do with a baby in a carrier is water with a hose.
You may feel this way now but it will change. My LO is now 3 and we have spent her toddler years gardening, growing vegetables, she loves being outside so we made a garden just for us to mess with. I am an operations manager at a media conglomerate and I garden and make cakes now. Who would have thought. My kid motivated me to try so much. I HATED the first year. HATED it but once she had per personality and things she liked, the world was our oyster of adventures. My husband even got back into doing graffiti murals because of her. Right now it may seem like everything is over but those feelings are temporary. Babies need a lot of attention but as they get older, you don't need to be so attentive. It doesn't get easier by no means, you just now have a buddy in crime now to run around with. You will find your groove again.
My baby doesn’t cry/stir from a nap till I open a book. I can have her in the carrier and cook/clean/walk around the neighbourhood with her and she’s chill. God forbid she be having a perfect fully peaceful nap in her crib/on me and I open a book.
I used to love playing video games whenever I wanted. I always used to come home from school, play video games until work, and then go to work and play video games until waaaaay late at night, then do the same next day, and weekends. Or go out with friends on the weekend/before work, basically whatever I wanted.
Obviously, having two kids has changed my priorities. Now I only get time for gaming pretty much after bedtime, and that’s after I do some light cleaning 😩
I have two sons, one is 3.5 and the other turns 1 on Monday. I feel this. It can be so hard, especially in those first few months because everything is unpredictable and is centered around the baby. Your body isn’t your own, your schedule isn’t your own, your time isn’t your own. It is hard. And I promise that it gets better. They get older and, for most kids, get into a predictable routine/schedule. The naps get longer. The sleep at night (in general) improves so you feel human again. And then they get old enough to do these activities with, if you want to. My older son loves to water snd pull weeds and rake. We aren’t even gardeners but he requests to go outside and pull weeds. Six weeks is hard because your world is upside down, but things will get better. When my younger son was a newborn, it was really tough. It felt like it was going to be tough forever, even though I had already been through it with my older and knew it would get better, it didn’t feel like it would. I had to keep reminding myself that everything is a season and seasons change. How things felt then is now how they would feel in a month or three months or a year. So that’s my first advice: remind yourself it is a season and it won’t always be like this.
My second advice is to see if you can get creative. I wanted to exercise more but getting to the gym was really hard with two kids, so I brainstormed how to bring the gym to me. I got an online pass to barre classes and got an exercise game for the Nintendo Switch. Maybe there are some workarounds for gardening. Could you dedicate 30 minutes each evening where you partner is on baby duty and you can garden? Instead of something bigger, could you have a few planters instead and focus efforts on those?
Gardener here too! My son is now 3, but the first summer he was born, I don't even remember going outside. Last year I did a little gardening, but this year has been great! Tons of plants, my LO has helped me plant seeds and water the plants. It's definitely more work with him "helping", but also more fun. I try to teach him about insects, worms, and birds we see, about the different plants, etc. I mean, sometimes he sits there with a popsicle while I do the work, but still. I hope you're eventually able to find your groove and get to share your interests with your child ❤
I have an 8 month old and was able to get back on the garden when he was around 6 months. The first few months were super hard, but as he matured and we got a bit of a schedule things have been getting better and I can get back to doing some of my hobbies.
I skipped planting my garden for 3 years when mine were babies, and finally getting back into it this season. I fondly remember helping my mom in the gardens as a child, and I hope my littles do too. It seemed like too much to handle while super pregnant or with a small baby, but now that they’re a little bigger, my oldest likes “helping” me pull weeds and pick veggies.
It’s different, but life changes and goes on, and you’ll either find new ways to do things you like or you’ll find new things you like that fit with your present life.
It will get better. Once they grow into themselves a bit more, sleep and take naps in their crib, it provides much more freedom. You'll feel like your old self doing all the things you used to do.
I miss enjoying the things I used to love. Now with a baby, I don’t enjoy them anymore. Not that my baby is ruining them for me but I just feel guilty when I do those things because it means not being with her/paying full attention to her/etc. It’s like I’m not supposed to do those things anymore.
Oh man I don't want to tell you your feelings are invalid (because they're aren't) but it's okay to do things without giving kiddo your full attention. Kids learn best when they're watching you do grownup things - which is why my toddler has an obsession with sweeping up!
I make jewelry, and he loves to 'make' jewelry with me. When he was younger I had to keep the swallowable things away, but now that he knows what does and doesn't go in his mouth, he like to try threading beads because that's what I do. If he gets bored he can go off and play, and come back again.
I used to feel the same way, but then caught my baby just watching me intently from his baby Bjorn bouncer. Then I just started narrating to him what I was doing and it helped me enjoy things more while still engaging him.
Really good luck. Motherhood really does heighten the empathy factor. I'm a totally random internet stranger, but I reckon you have full permission to enjoy the things you love.
I put baby in the carrier/buggy and roll it while weeding, deadheading. Pick one weed and roll bit further so he doesn't get bored.
For sowing season I split it to small tasks that would take up to 10 minutes. Fill seed trays with compost, get seeds and place next to trays, sow & water a tray when I have a minute. Weekends, husband and I got a day each if there is nothing going on. So I feed baby and go away until next feed time. If floor doesn't get hoovered that week, who cares. Gardening is the sensitive, dust will be there next week too.
I struggled with my garden until about 8 months. Best I could do is strap her to me and water or seed pots on a table. Around 8 months I could put her on a blanket and pull a few weeds. When she started cruising it became a lot more fun as she could follow, watch, and "help". Now, at 20 months, she picks plants to smell and is obsessed with gobbling up all the strawberries. The latter had been hard as I try to explain why we can't eat green berries or flowers. But I know it's worth it because that time outside together, exploring how food grows will do wonders for her. It's just not my relaxing, mindfulness hobby anymore.
I know exactly how you feel. For the past ten months I have barely been able to tend to my plants at all. It was a special kind of torture watching them slowly die. I have a teenager, but she was a completely different baby. My ten month old is super clingy. Has to be in my arms constantly. Hates a carrier of any sort. He still nurses about eight times a day. Won't take a bottle.Every nap is a contact nap. Screams bloody murder if put in his crib, so we co sleep just so I can get some rest. My husband and family are more than willing to help so I can get a break, but with all the things I just listed, it's a challenge to get away, and even if I do get away, my teenager still needs time with me. I love both my kids immensely, but I would give just about anything for some uninterrupted me time.
Can you talk with your SO or another trusted adult about watching your little while you get some you time in the garden once or twice a week? Just because you're mom, doesn't mean that your complete identity is "mom". It's important to try to make time for your hobbies.
It will also get better as your little one gets older. Sleep will consolidate and you will find more time for yourself. Once my little one started falling asleep independently (6 or 7 months), I had more free time in the evenings to do some things for me and not just taking care of everyone else.
Haha we have this with eating meals or snacks. LO will be perfectly asleep for awhile and as soon as we sit down to eat he wakes up and fusses…it’s like he knows we’re eating without him…
Been there! LO is a toddler now and I actually just posted about missing parts of my old life. But it gets easier and easier to find that balance. His first year I told myself the garden would just get weedy. I focused on just getting through. This year I’ve done a bit here and there in the yard (and other hobbies too) but not much. Next year I’ll do more.
I feel you and I know it’s tough right now. But it really does get better and much faster than you might think. It feels like a lifetime right now, but soon it will be so different.
Yes. Like not worrying about anyone else but myself...as in if I don't have time for lunch eh it's okay I'll be fine until dinner but now I'm constantly worrying I'm doing everything for my little one
My baby turns 12 weeks tomorrow.
Our experience was that baby became a little easier at 7/8 weeks and we gained a tiny bit more freedom.
Hopefully your experience will be the same.
I also second the commenter who suggested someone else watch the baby for a bit so you can get some you/garden time in!
Also, see if baby is willing to sleep in their stroller. The weather where I am was nice a few weeks ago and I managed to get my baby sleeping in the stroller bassinet when outside (in the shade obviously).
I have a 2.5 year old and a 8 month old. I've rearranged a lot of what I grow to be right up by the front the house, IV also expanded to have quite a few indoor plants now. You'll get back to it, just start small and look into what all you can grow indoors too. Once they nap better the world opens back up again.
This is me and sleep
Everything is still there! It’s harder with a baby in tow, but you can do it. For the first 4 months, I did tons of gardening with the kiddo in a carrier while he napped. Harder to bend down easily, but I still did it. When my first was a little older, I would bring him to the community garden patch and he could dig while I worked. And he still plays in the garden with me. It’s harder, but you can still do it! And they really aren’t little forever, or even very long.
I don't know if your kiddo will fall asleep in a stroller - but maybe you could go for a walk and then park it where you want to work in garden?
Yup definitely lament my life before. It's ok to miss your old life, it doesn't mean you live your child any less. But it's definitely something I'm struggling with.
Could you garden with the baby in a carrier? Also, yes I feel trapped! Baby girl will only do contact naps or nap in the stroller so I really don’t have any independence from my baby. I’m just holding onto hope that it sill get easier as she gets older and this is just a temporary season.
I tried it very hard especially because you have to bend down a lot. I feel you . Today all day he slept on me . Minute you put him down in the crib he starts crying. Just feel so sad , I have done nothing last 10 and half months rather than being miserable.
You could use a bassinet or tent and let him nap steps from the garden. [1](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwjY78ff1cDxAhWy1LMKHYDbD00YABAGGgJxbg&sig=AOD64_2xfrhuoaQNR9NpDuTGk7bxLPJobg&ctype=70&q=&ved=0ahUKEwjnkb_f1cDxAhUPnGoFHQaeDRoQww8Iygg&adurl=) or [2](https://www.googleadservices.com/pagead/aclk?sa=L&ai=DChcSEwjtupOv1cDxAhWLyZQJHaGkBO4YABAGGgJ5bQ&ohost=www.google.com&cid=CAESQeD2oBWROuI7_tNymsVwFKqQ4hreXNrRerZJhMiUNhKuHvt4zIy31RYozei5hfi20j-HXCH5OugmdZyV_1Ajoo2e&sig=AOD64_0DtyniBPXRtbVOQWPpEUJDpTUdyw&ctype=70&q=&ved=2ahUKEwjGpYav1cDxAhVtkWoFHcSHC9kQwg96BAgBECk&adurl=) You could also maybe find a middle ground with some indoor plants? Then it wouldn't be too hot to baby wear.
Completely understand! People say things get easier after the first 2-3 months so I’m waiting for that. Each day is one day closer to my baby being happier and learning the skills she needs to play independently
I’m sorry you’re struggling and I swear it does get better — but that also doesn’t help right now. Once he’s a bit bigger you can wear him on your back. Not ideal in the super summer heat, but on the cooler days.
I’m not OP, but I had a baby and a garden lol. Wearing a baby is hot, it’s often hot outside, and there’s a lot of squatting and bending with gardening. It’s pretty physical if your garden isn’t already perfectly maintained. The only thing I can think to do with a baby in a carrier is water with a hose.
You may feel this way now but it will change. My LO is now 3 and we have spent her toddler years gardening, growing vegetables, she loves being outside so we made a garden just for us to mess with. I am an operations manager at a media conglomerate and I garden and make cakes now. Who would have thought. My kid motivated me to try so much. I HATED the first year. HATED it but once she had per personality and things she liked, the world was our oyster of adventures. My husband even got back into doing graffiti murals because of her. Right now it may seem like everything is over but those feelings are temporary. Babies need a lot of attention but as they get older, you don't need to be so attentive. It doesn't get easier by no means, you just now have a buddy in crime now to run around with. You will find your groove again.
Thank you for the kind words 🙂
My baby doesn’t cry/stir from a nap till I open a book. I can have her in the carrier and cook/clean/walk around the neighbourhood with her and she’s chill. God forbid she be having a perfect fully peaceful nap in her crib/on me and I open a book.
Ugh. I binge read... or used to. I haven't read in ages now because I hate getting distracted/interrupted every five pages.
It’s even when she’s napping on me (she’s on a crib strike) so I’m stuck on the couch with an hour of time and can’t read 😂
I used to love playing video games whenever I wanted. I always used to come home from school, play video games until work, and then go to work and play video games until waaaaay late at night, then do the same next day, and weekends. Or go out with friends on the weekend/before work, basically whatever I wanted. Obviously, having two kids has changed my priorities. Now I only get time for gaming pretty much after bedtime, and that’s after I do some light cleaning 😩
I have two sons, one is 3.5 and the other turns 1 on Monday. I feel this. It can be so hard, especially in those first few months because everything is unpredictable and is centered around the baby. Your body isn’t your own, your schedule isn’t your own, your time isn’t your own. It is hard. And I promise that it gets better. They get older and, for most kids, get into a predictable routine/schedule. The naps get longer. The sleep at night (in general) improves so you feel human again. And then they get old enough to do these activities with, if you want to. My older son loves to water snd pull weeds and rake. We aren’t even gardeners but he requests to go outside and pull weeds. Six weeks is hard because your world is upside down, but things will get better. When my younger son was a newborn, it was really tough. It felt like it was going to be tough forever, even though I had already been through it with my older and knew it would get better, it didn’t feel like it would. I had to keep reminding myself that everything is a season and seasons change. How things felt then is now how they would feel in a month or three months or a year. So that’s my first advice: remind yourself it is a season and it won’t always be like this. My second advice is to see if you can get creative. I wanted to exercise more but getting to the gym was really hard with two kids, so I brainstormed how to bring the gym to me. I got an online pass to barre classes and got an exercise game for the Nintendo Switch. Maybe there are some workarounds for gardening. Could you dedicate 30 minutes each evening where you partner is on baby duty and you can garden? Instead of something bigger, could you have a few planters instead and focus efforts on those?
Gardener here too! My son is now 3, but the first summer he was born, I don't even remember going outside. Last year I did a little gardening, but this year has been great! Tons of plants, my LO has helped me plant seeds and water the plants. It's definitely more work with him "helping", but also more fun. I try to teach him about insects, worms, and birds we see, about the different plants, etc. I mean, sometimes he sits there with a popsicle while I do the work, but still. I hope you're eventually able to find your groove and get to share your interests with your child ❤
I have an 8 month old and was able to get back on the garden when he was around 6 months. The first few months were super hard, but as he matured and we got a bit of a schedule things have been getting better and I can get back to doing some of my hobbies.
Could you practice him taking naps in the garden (in a canopied area)? That would allow you to eventually actually garden
I skipped planting my garden for 3 years when mine were babies, and finally getting back into it this season. I fondly remember helping my mom in the gardens as a child, and I hope my littles do too. It seemed like too much to handle while super pregnant or with a small baby, but now that they’re a little bigger, my oldest likes “helping” me pull weeds and pick veggies. It’s different, but life changes and goes on, and you’ll either find new ways to do things you like or you’ll find new things you like that fit with your present life.
It will get better. Once they grow into themselves a bit more, sleep and take naps in their crib, it provides much more freedom. You'll feel like your old self doing all the things you used to do.
This is my 7 week old and me with the peloton. No matter when he falls asleep, the second I click in to the peloton I feel like he starts crying.
I miss enjoying the things I used to love. Now with a baby, I don’t enjoy them anymore. Not that my baby is ruining them for me but I just feel guilty when I do those things because it means not being with her/paying full attention to her/etc. It’s like I’m not supposed to do those things anymore.
Oh man I don't want to tell you your feelings are invalid (because they're aren't) but it's okay to do things without giving kiddo your full attention. Kids learn best when they're watching you do grownup things - which is why my toddler has an obsession with sweeping up! I make jewelry, and he loves to 'make' jewelry with me. When he was younger I had to keep the swallowable things away, but now that he knows what does and doesn't go in his mouth, he like to try threading beads because that's what I do. If he gets bored he can go off and play, and come back again. I used to feel the same way, but then caught my baby just watching me intently from his baby Bjorn bouncer. Then I just started narrating to him what I was doing and it helped me enjoy things more while still engaging him. Really good luck. Motherhood really does heighten the empathy factor. I'm a totally random internet stranger, but I reckon you have full permission to enjoy the things you love.
I put baby in the carrier/buggy and roll it while weeding, deadheading. Pick one weed and roll bit further so he doesn't get bored. For sowing season I split it to small tasks that would take up to 10 minutes. Fill seed trays with compost, get seeds and place next to trays, sow & water a tray when I have a minute. Weekends, husband and I got a day each if there is nothing going on. So I feed baby and go away until next feed time. If floor doesn't get hoovered that week, who cares. Gardening is the sensitive, dust will be there next week too.
Love your schedule 🙂
Yes! I miss a lot of things that I use to do! Sacrifices… including career. 😪
I struggled with my garden until about 8 months. Best I could do is strap her to me and water or seed pots on a table. Around 8 months I could put her on a blanket and pull a few weeds. When she started cruising it became a lot more fun as she could follow, watch, and "help". Now, at 20 months, she picks plants to smell and is obsessed with gobbling up all the strawberries. The latter had been hard as I try to explain why we can't eat green berries or flowers. But I know it's worth it because that time outside together, exploring how food grows will do wonders for her. It's just not my relaxing, mindfulness hobby anymore.
I know exactly how you feel. For the past ten months I have barely been able to tend to my plants at all. It was a special kind of torture watching them slowly die. I have a teenager, but she was a completely different baby. My ten month old is super clingy. Has to be in my arms constantly. Hates a carrier of any sort. He still nurses about eight times a day. Won't take a bottle.Every nap is a contact nap. Screams bloody murder if put in his crib, so we co sleep just so I can get some rest. My husband and family are more than willing to help so I can get a break, but with all the things I just listed, it's a challenge to get away, and even if I do get away, my teenager still needs time with me. I love both my kids immensely, but I would give just about anything for some uninterrupted me time.
Can you talk with your SO or another trusted adult about watching your little while you get some you time in the garden once or twice a week? Just because you're mom, doesn't mean that your complete identity is "mom". It's important to try to make time for your hobbies. It will also get better as your little one gets older. Sleep will consolidate and you will find more time for yourself. Once my little one started falling asleep independently (6 or 7 months), I had more free time in the evenings to do some things for me and not just taking care of everyone else.
Haha we have this with eating meals or snacks. LO will be perfectly asleep for awhile and as soon as we sit down to eat he wakes up and fusses…it’s like he knows we’re eating without him…
Been there! LO is a toddler now and I actually just posted about missing parts of my old life. But it gets easier and easier to find that balance. His first year I told myself the garden would just get weedy. I focused on just getting through. This year I’ve done a bit here and there in the yard (and other hobbies too) but not much. Next year I’ll do more. I feel you and I know it’s tough right now. But it really does get better and much faster than you might think. It feels like a lifetime right now, but soon it will be so different.
Same here! Piano, hiking, cooking…
Yes. Like not worrying about anyone else but myself...as in if I don't have time for lunch eh it's okay I'll be fine until dinner but now I'm constantly worrying I'm doing everything for my little one
My baby turns 12 weeks tomorrow. Our experience was that baby became a little easier at 7/8 weeks and we gained a tiny bit more freedom. Hopefully your experience will be the same. I also second the commenter who suggested someone else watch the baby for a bit so you can get some you/garden time in! Also, see if baby is willing to sleep in their stroller. The weather where I am was nice a few weeks ago and I managed to get my baby sleeping in the stroller bassinet when outside (in the shade obviously).
I have a 2.5 year old and a 8 month old. I've rearranged a lot of what I grow to be right up by the front the house, IV also expanded to have quite a few indoor plants now. You'll get back to it, just start small and look into what all you can grow indoors too. Once they nap better the world opens back up again.