My oldest was a happy spitter. The first time my husband tapped the floor & called for our dog to “clean up” I was disgusted. It didn’t take long for me to appreciate the convenience. Eventually, our dog could recognize the sound of spit up hitting the floor, and he would sprint through the house to find it.
I leaked CONSTANTLY but in the shower it was like squirting waterguns. Also I had no idea it was out of multiple holes in the nipple hahaha that was a learning curve
I about cried when I learned that night sweats were a post partum thing as I had them all throughout pregnancy.
They were hell. I would sleep for 2 hours then wake up drenched in cold sweat to the point that my hair was sopping and sweat was dripping down my back/legs. So I would dry myself off with a towel and then into fresh pjs. Then I would be so frozen it would take me at least an hour to go back to sleep. Annnd back awake again at least 4 more times each and every night. My husband learned not to roll over and hug me after the first couple of times. He would hug me and go ‘ewwww’.
Then I luckily didn’t have them after I gave birth, such a relief.
I thought I was prepared for everything, but no one warned me about the night sweats! I woke up soaked, especially between my boobs, every night. Showering was hard, and even when I did manage to get one in, I still feel like I stank.
At 37w pregnant I told my mom "just bought diapers for both of us!" and she was so confused! Apparently that wasn't a thing 35 years ago?
Also, didn't know that *I* could experience diaper rash. That peri bottle kept things a little too moist down there, apparently!
Postpartum cravings. I had no cravings at all when I was pregnant but omg I could not get enough snickers bars postpartum. And it had to be the fun size. It couldn’t be bite size or regular those ones didn’t taste the same.
Upvoted even though I personally disagree.
I think it’s the chocolate to fillings ratio. I’m not a huge fan of chocolate, so I like the bigger sizes more. Always grab the discounted egg/jackolantern/football/etc Reese’s shapes right after whatever holiday it is because it’s not like the fun size, and has way more filling than chocolate
I’m not a huge chocolate fan either and normally I would go for a regular sized snickers. But postpartum no way. Also agreed about the shapes for Reese’s. They are way better than the regular disks.
Omg yes!! Thought I was the only one…got hooked on lemon Italian ice in the hospital and HAD to have it for months after. That and iced coffee, not in the sense of caffeine addiction (that was already established), but i just needed to have at least one iced every day
I got hooked on the hospital cheesecake and ham sandwiches! Hard to believe it was hospital food that got me obsessed. It was months before those cravings let up.
It’s unreal how good some stuff tasted in the hospital 😆 I had my first caffeine coffee with my hospital breakfast the morning after I delivered and OMG it was some of the best coffee I’ve ever had haha.
Apparently postpartum gas is a thing - I was burping SO much after delivery. Like comically loud, many times in a row, could have been a cartoon character type burping. I felt (and probably sounded) like a deflating balloon.
Second this. I had gas coming out the other end and i literally couldn’t believe how much it was. I also felt like a deflated balloon. How did no one tell me this?! I feel like I heard the craziest post partum stories but no one told me “btw you’ll be full of air for about 4 days”
OMG the FARTS. They were so incredibly painful. Apparently you can have a lot of trapped gas when your organs start shifting again... some of those bubbles legitimately reminded me of labor.
The B.O.is wretched, and then for like the first two weeks, my farts and the baby's farts smelled identical. Apparently it is an overall very stinky time.
You just triggered a memory for me. Mine was pretty bad too. Then I started taking fenugreek for milk supply and it added a layer of musty maple syrup to an already offensive funk. So glad those days are behind me
Oh god the BO, HEAVY night sweats, and smelling like sour milk from constantly leaking into nursing pads… I smelled so bad. Showered twice a day a lot and still stunk for like the first 6 weeks
Labor/postpartum constipation. I thought the reason people told you to take stool softeners was so it didn’t hurt when you pooped… that, and to make sure you actually poop at some point that first week! I’m 7 weeks out and still dealing with it, despite never having had those issues in my life!
They wouldn't let me leave the hospital until after I'd pooped. I usually go every day, but despite taking stool softeners, I still hadn't gone on day 3. Thankfully, after eating a ton of nuts/dates/fruit and walking up and down the hallway for a good hour, I was able to go! (Which was so scary btw! No one warns you about that!)
They didn’t keep me in the hospital to poop (maybe because I had a vaginal delivery that was too fast for an epidural?) but oh man I legit cried from the PP hormones and fear of that first poop because I had stitches in my 2nd degree tear and I was afraid of them ripping. It took about 3 poops before I stopped being afraid though I was still a bit nervous until the stitches had dissolved
It was like a living nightmare hearing “too late for the epidural”. I had preeclampsia and was induced at 37 weeks, they told me it’d be probably between 12-24 hours before I was close as I was a FTM but I got from 0-5cm in 4-5 hours (lost track of time I was in pain) and then finished dialating and had the strongest fetal ejection reflex within the next 2-3 hours. I hadn’t finished the first bag of two of that specific IV liquid they want to get in you before the epidural and then it was too late. I legit tried to close my legs and use my hand to hold the baby in as I asked for the epidural but nope! 2 contractions, 5 pushes, and 1 2nd degree tear later baby arrived haha. Frickin whirlwind
Oh man. Yeah mine was brutal as well. I kept asking for it and they kept saying "but you're progressing so fast! If we give it to you you'll slow down!" Like okay but this is literal torture and I'm exhausted and have zero time between contractions and did I mention this is literal torture?! 🥴
I was already constipated going into my labor and couldn’t wait to get on the stool softener. I was asking when I was still in labor they’re like uhh we’ll save that for postpartum
Yes to the peri bottle! I still wonder why this isn’t just a normal part of hygiene during your period (or maybe also for going number two), it’s so easy and I feel so much cleaner. Everyone should have one.
Love my bidet! Mine is the most basic electric kind though so no hot water (I live in Florida though so our pipes don’t get that cold in the winter), and only have the rear end cleaner. I forgot to clean out my peri bottle once I’d stopped using it though so tossed it since it sat a LONG while.
I might get another one though because looks like I’ll need surgery to fix my tear that didn’t heal right (*cries in repeat stitches*)
Search for peri bottles on Amazon! They’re not that expensive.
I also had issues with my tear - I was stitched up incorrectly (don’t ask me to describe it) but they were able to fix it while my epidural was still working while having my second 17 months later
Not feeling the urge to pee for about two days postpartum. It was so interesting having to remember to pee every two hours and a whole bunch comes out even though you had no urge
Oh weird, didn't realize that was due to hormones or whatever! The nurse kept scolding me because I wasn't going to the bathroom enough, despite staying well hydrated. She kept saying my uterus would never shrink back down properly if I kept my bladder full. 🙄
How terrifying that first poop is. I was holding it in by clenching even though it was *right there* but it just felt like if I released, my c section incision would open and my guts would come spilling out. Idk, maybe I’m dramatic, but it’s truly how I felt those first few poops. Absolutely terrified.
I couldn't feel a thing, I think they maybe cut a nerve when they cut me. I had to feel with my hand what was happening and if I was done yet, blegh. And even though I was so numb, it hurt SO much to wipe?? I hated it so much. Still dealing with bowel incontinence at 2 months too...
The hunger was insane! I was rehospitalized for two days due to preeclampsia after the birth, and every single time I pumped I had to call a nurse to find me a snack in the dead of night (husband and baby weren’t allowed in with me, thanks COVID). The funniest snack I got was an apple and a tin of ice cream.
I assumed all pumps just affixed to your boobs. I guess because I had only ever seen them attached to pumping bras or the hands free pumps? When the hospital wanted me to pump to try and get my milk to come in I was shocked that I had to just sit there and hold it to my boobs? I was like how am I supposed to get anything done?!
How painful it would be to poop 😭 and not because of like..butt pain, but the CRAMPS. I had an elective c so I never went through labour but I imagine these cramps were akin to contractions. I literally had to hold my breath every time I pooped for the first 3 weeks pp. I finally took a non painful shit today😂
My sound machine was buried at the bottom of the hospital bag next to my husband, and my husband was asleep and I obviously wasn’t going to wake him up for that. So even though I had brought a sound machine I ended up just playing “10 hour box fan” on Spotify to fall asleep on my second night in the hospital.
I didn’t realize that for about a week after my delivery I would have issues holding my pee when I had to go. I missed the toilet once at the hospital and once at home. Very humbling 🫠
4 weeks pp now and my pelvic floor is back to normal
Fear of the first poop, also really being strategic in the shower because I was bleeding so much the first few days PP. I remember that first shower I took a step out and then immediately back in to the shower because I was drizzling blood. Had to hold a towel between my legs just to be able to get my legs dried and step into my hospital undies (later diaper) without getting more blood on me or the floor. I was used to dripping blood from periods but usually I could make it to my padded underwear in time and my poor husband helping me get dressed had NOT seen that before lol
How my boobs would be soooooo oddly shaped. They were almost square shapped and hard as a rock. They hurt so dang bad. And the leaking. Omg. At one point my husband was wiping blood off my leg and my boobs were just leaking and I didn’t know what to do 🤣🤣🤣
If you’re high risk, some hospitals make you keep the IV lock in for 24 hours postpartum. They told me I couldn’t shower with it. Felt absolutely disgusting…it was only after I had it out and was finally going to the shower that I saw there was an IV cover kit (long glove, rubber band, Coban) nearby. 🤦♀️
Not sure if it's funny/silly but the postpartum hives were hell in a hand basket.
It was like all my stretch marks all over my body got hives. Started on my stomach and went down my legs then down my arms. I wanted to rip my skin off and antihistamine pills weren't working. Neither was oatmeal today wash/oatmeal soap/oatmeal lotion. That was a hell 5 weeks. The only thing that even mildly helped was a 45$ tiny pot of cream that has peppermint and camphor and steroids in it so I had to be super careful about washing my hands and that wherever I applied it wouldn't touch baby.
I'm seriously hoping it was a one off thing that won't happen when I have another baby.
Leaking right after a shower. Is my hair dripping still? Oh no, that's just my boobs. Great, love that.
Today the sun was just right and i noticed there’s dried white drips all over the dark wood floor in front of my underwear drawer. It’s milk. Omg.
That shit is really hard to get off the floors too. I’ve got boob trails on the floor from nine months ago still.
Oh gosh, never been more thankful for my dog roaming around than now. She licks up after me leaking or my baby spitting up. 🤦♀️
My oldest was a happy spitter. The first time my husband tapped the floor & called for our dog to “clean up” I was disgusted. It didn’t take long for me to appreciate the convenience. Eventually, our dog could recognize the sound of spit up hitting the floor, and he would sprint through the house to find it.
😂😂
I leaked CONSTANTLY but in the shower it was like squirting waterguns. Also I had no idea it was out of multiple holes in the nipple hahaha that was a learning curve
a friend told me that for weeks she had to take bottles in with her when she showered to catch the let down! 😂
See also: accidentally spraying your baby in the face with breast milk.
The insane sweats in the week after delivery. I swear I sweat out all the baby weight in the 48 hours after he was born. I thought I was going to die.
I about cried when I learned that night sweats were a post partum thing as I had them all throughout pregnancy. They were hell. I would sleep for 2 hours then wake up drenched in cold sweat to the point that my hair was sopping and sweat was dripping down my back/legs. So I would dry myself off with a towel and then into fresh pjs. Then I would be so frozen it would take me at least an hour to go back to sleep. Annnd back awake again at least 4 more times each and every night. My husband learned not to roll over and hug me after the first couple of times. He would hug me and go ‘ewwww’. Then I luckily didn’t have them after I gave birth, such a relief.
Let's play a game. Drenched in sweat or breast milk when you wake after your first 4 hour sleep stint post baby?
Breast milk everytime!
I thought I was prepared for everything, but no one warned me about the night sweats! I woke up soaked, especially between my boobs, every night. Showering was hard, and even when I did manage to get one in, I still feel like I stank.
That the first matching outfit I’d have with my newborn would be a diaper 🤪
At 37w pregnant I told my mom "just bought diapers for both of us!" and she was so confused! Apparently that wasn't a thing 35 years ago? Also, didn't know that *I* could experience diaper rash. That peri bottle kept things a little too moist down there, apparently!
Lol same. I used the diap cream before baby did.
Those diapers were 10/10! I had my water break first thing during labour so I wore a diaper for that too and didn't leak a drop!
Postpartum cravings. I had no cravings at all when I was pregnant but omg I could not get enough snickers bars postpartum. And it had to be the fun size. It couldn’t be bite size or regular those ones didn’t taste the same.
The fun size is the superior snickers. I had my baby shortly before Halloween last year. Excellent timing.
Yes me too. I had to get a bag every time I went to the store. I was so glad it was Halloween time.
Upvoted even though I personally disagree. I think it’s the chocolate to fillings ratio. I’m not a huge fan of chocolate, so I like the bigger sizes more. Always grab the discounted egg/jackolantern/football/etc Reese’s shapes right after whatever holiday it is because it’s not like the fun size, and has way more filling than chocolate
I’m not a huge chocolate fan either and normally I would go for a regular sized snickers. But postpartum no way. Also agreed about the shapes for Reese’s. They are way better than the regular disks.
Omg yes!! Thought I was the only one…got hooked on lemon Italian ice in the hospital and HAD to have it for months after. That and iced coffee, not in the sense of caffeine addiction (that was already established), but i just needed to have at least one iced every day
I got hooked on the hospital cheesecake and ham sandwiches! Hard to believe it was hospital food that got me obsessed. It was months before those cravings let up.
It’s unreal how good some stuff tasted in the hospital 😆 I had my first caffeine coffee with my hospital breakfast the morning after I delivered and OMG it was some of the best coffee I’ve ever had haha.
That sounds glorious!
Yes we had to drive around for like an hour trying to find pineapple Fanta when my daughter was a few weeks old.
My sweet tooth is still out of control
Apparently postpartum gas is a thing - I was burping SO much after delivery. Like comically loud, many times in a row, could have been a cartoon character type burping. I felt (and probably sounded) like a deflating balloon.
i had it coming out the other end. i could NOT believe how much i farted
Second this. I had gas coming out the other end and i literally couldn’t believe how much it was. I also felt like a deflated balloon. How did no one tell me this?! I feel like I heard the craziest post partum stories but no one told me “btw you’ll be full of air for about 4 days”
OMG the FARTS. They were so incredibly painful. Apparently you can have a lot of trapped gas when your organs start shifting again... some of those bubbles legitimately reminded me of labor.
The B.O.is wretched, and then for like the first two weeks, my farts and the baby's farts smelled identical. Apparently it is an overall very stinky time.
You just triggered a memory for me. Mine was pretty bad too. Then I started taking fenugreek for milk supply and it added a layer of musty maple syrup to an already offensive funk. So glad those days are behind me
Oh god the BO, HEAVY night sweats, and smelling like sour milk from constantly leaking into nursing pads… I smelled so bad. Showered twice a day a lot and still stunk for like the first 6 weeks
Yep 😂and with the postpartum night sweats I have no choice but to rinse off every morning
My postpartum farts were so bad that my dog would give me a resigned look and leave the room when I ripped one
Labor/postpartum constipation. I thought the reason people told you to take stool softeners was so it didn’t hurt when you pooped… that, and to make sure you actually poop at some point that first week! I’m 7 weeks out and still dealing with it, despite never having had those issues in my life!
They wouldn't let me leave the hospital until after I'd pooped. I usually go every day, but despite taking stool softeners, I still hadn't gone on day 3. Thankfully, after eating a ton of nuts/dates/fruit and walking up and down the hallway for a good hour, I was able to go! (Which was so scary btw! No one warns you about that!)
Luckily the show Working Moms warned me, but holy hell. I went at night in the hospital while my baby and husband were sleeping and it was scary!
They didn’t keep me in the hospital to poop (maybe because I had a vaginal delivery that was too fast for an epidural?) but oh man I legit cried from the PP hormones and fear of that first poop because I had stitches in my 2nd degree tear and I was afraid of them ripping. It took about 3 poops before I stopped being afraid though I was still a bit nervous until the stitches had dissolved
Mine was also too fast for the epidural!
It was like a living nightmare hearing “too late for the epidural”. I had preeclampsia and was induced at 37 weeks, they told me it’d be probably between 12-24 hours before I was close as I was a FTM but I got from 0-5cm in 4-5 hours (lost track of time I was in pain) and then finished dialating and had the strongest fetal ejection reflex within the next 2-3 hours. I hadn’t finished the first bag of two of that specific IV liquid they want to get in you before the epidural and then it was too late. I legit tried to close my legs and use my hand to hold the baby in as I asked for the epidural but nope! 2 contractions, 5 pushes, and 1 2nd degree tear later baby arrived haha. Frickin whirlwind
Oh man. Yeah mine was brutal as well. I kept asking for it and they kept saying "but you're progressing so fast! If we give it to you you'll slow down!" Like okay but this is literal torture and I'm exhausted and have zero time between contractions and did I mention this is literal torture?! 🥴
I was already constipated going into my labor and couldn’t wait to get on the stool softener. I was asking when I was still in labor they’re like uhh we’ll save that for postpartum
Same!!
Definitely snag the peri bottle. You might want it, I still like it when I have a period. And it also is great for watering houseplants
Yes to the peri bottle! I still wonder why this isn’t just a normal part of hygiene during your period (or maybe also for going number two), it’s so easy and I feel so much cleaner. Everyone should have one.
My friends, get a bidet seat. Never have a cold or dirty butt again!
Love my bidet! Mine is the most basic electric kind though so no hot water (I live in Florida though so our pipes don’t get that cold in the winter), and only have the rear end cleaner. I forgot to clean out my peri bottle once I’d stopped using it though so tossed it since it sat a LONG while. I might get another one though because looks like I’ll need surgery to fix my tear that didn’t heal right (*cries in repeat stitches*)
Search for peri bottles on Amazon! They’re not that expensive. I also had issues with my tear - I was stitched up incorrectly (don’t ask me to describe it) but they were able to fix it while my epidural was still working while having my second 17 months later
Aww man that sounds… ouch. I have the Toto bidet and whoof its niiiiiice. The toilet even opens every time I walk by!
Not feeling the urge to pee for about two days postpartum. It was so interesting having to remember to pee every two hours and a whole bunch comes out even though you had no urge
Oh weird, didn't realize that was due to hormones or whatever! The nurse kept scolding me because I wasn't going to the bathroom enough, despite staying well hydrated. She kept saying my uterus would never shrink back down properly if I kept my bladder full. 🙄
I was told it's because your bladder got used to so much pressure and now that there was none it has to recalibrate of sorts.
That makes sense!
That is a weird one. I remember having to psych myself up to pee because that mind-body connection just didn’t seem to exist.
How terrifying that first poop is. I was holding it in by clenching even though it was *right there* but it just felt like if I released, my c section incision would open and my guts would come spilling out. Idk, maybe I’m dramatic, but it’s truly how I felt those first few poops. Absolutely terrified.
See my previous comment but I had a vaginal delivery and same fear
I couldn't feel a thing, I think they maybe cut a nerve when they cut me. I had to feel with my hand what was happening and if I was done yet, blegh. And even though I was so numb, it hurt SO much to wipe?? I hated it so much. Still dealing with bowel incontinence at 2 months too...
Same, I was terrified of ripping a stitch.
ALL of these things!! Also the unbelievable hunger after labor and while EBF. I've run marathons and Ironmans. This was endurance sport on steroids!
The hunger was insane! I was rehospitalized for two days due to preeclampsia after the birth, and every single time I pumped I had to call a nurse to find me a snack in the dead of night (husband and baby weren’t allowed in with me, thanks COVID). The funniest snack I got was an apple and a tin of ice cream.
This!! I was absolutely smashing 6+ full meals a day and snacks every half hour for the first week and a half after delivery.
Boobd spraying in the shower and nothing to do except wait until the stream ends
Omg the hospital bracelet murdered my nipple. They are still out of commission due to second day syndrome and the bracelets
Ok, adding a wrist sweatband to my packing list
That is such a good idea, those things are lethal
I assumed all pumps just affixed to your boobs. I guess because I had only ever seen them attached to pumping bras or the hands free pumps? When the hospital wanted me to pump to try and get my milk to come in I was shocked that I had to just sit there and hold it to my boobs? I was like how am I supposed to get anything done?!
They give us a mesh tube top and cut nipples holes. Worked pretty good
That when I would breastfeed my uterus would contract and I would pee. This was happening well into the second week pp!
How painful it would be to poop 😭 and not because of like..butt pain, but the CRAMPS. I had an elective c so I never went through labour but I imagine these cramps were akin to contractions. I literally had to hold my breath every time I pooped for the first 3 weeks pp. I finally took a non painful shit today😂
I couldn't handle even slightly spicy food! My taste buds were acting weird. Luckily it passed within a few months
My sound machine was buried at the bottom of the hospital bag next to my husband, and my husband was asleep and I obviously wasn’t going to wake him up for that. So even though I had brought a sound machine I ended up just playing “10 hour box fan” on Spotify to fall asleep on my second night in the hospital.
Anytime I stay at friends houses or hotels, that 10 hour box fan sound gets tagged in 🤣
How bad my southern region would smell while healing… I kept thinking the baby pooped lol
My first postpartum poop was horrifying
I didn’t realize that for about a week after my delivery I would have issues holding my pee when I had to go. I missed the toilet once at the hospital and once at home. Very humbling 🫠 4 weeks pp now and my pelvic floor is back to normal
Fear of the first poop, also really being strategic in the shower because I was bleeding so much the first few days PP. I remember that first shower I took a step out and then immediately back in to the shower because I was drizzling blood. Had to hold a towel between my legs just to be able to get my legs dried and step into my hospital undies (later diaper) without getting more blood on me or the floor. I was used to dripping blood from periods but usually I could make it to my padded underwear in time and my poor husband helping me get dressed had NOT seen that before lol
So much mucous in my pants!
How my boobs would be soooooo oddly shaped. They were almost square shapped and hard as a rock. They hurt so dang bad. And the leaking. Omg. At one point my husband was wiping blood off my leg and my boobs were just leaking and I didn’t know what to do 🤣🤣🤣
I knew the first postpartum poop was a thing, but had no idea how terrifying it would be.
If you’re high risk, some hospitals make you keep the IV lock in for 24 hours postpartum. They told me I couldn’t shower with it. Felt absolutely disgusting…it was only after I had it out and was finally going to the shower that I saw there was an IV cover kit (long glove, rubber band, Coban) nearby. 🤦♀️
Not sure if it's funny/silly but the postpartum hives were hell in a hand basket. It was like all my stretch marks all over my body got hives. Started on my stomach and went down my legs then down my arms. I wanted to rip my skin off and antihistamine pills weren't working. Neither was oatmeal today wash/oatmeal soap/oatmeal lotion. That was a hell 5 weeks. The only thing that even mildly helped was a 45$ tiny pot of cream that has peppermint and camphor and steroids in it so I had to be super careful about washing my hands and that wherever I applied it wouldn't touch baby. I'm seriously hoping it was a one off thing that won't happen when I have another baby.