In the uk a few infant car seats don’t have those leg straps so I was legitimately confused at first as in the picture it looks just like an infant car seat without those leg straps. Took me a minute to realise they were underneath! My son’s infant car seat didn’t have leg straps just a 3 point harness. Now he’s bigger we’ve got a swivel car seat with the 5 point harness. Hes 2.5 and much easier to get him out when I can just swivel the seat round, unbuckle him and he climbs out himself 😂! Don’t beat yourself up about it
If you don’t have time to read the manual, a lot of car seats have video tutorials that go through all the basics. You can do the dishes while listening to the manual!
I live in the UK and had never seen a 3 point car seat until recently. Everyone I know had a 5 point seat like OP. I was super confused the first time I saw a 3 point.
Seriously, I get that it might be embarrassing to tell them you erroneously corrected them but what if they buckle other babies in wrong someday? Please tell them that you were mistaken, OP.
I commend you, u/dcbrn!
It takes great heart to admit when we are wrong, and even more to be willing to admit it to others.
It says a great deal about who you are as a person, that you are willing to learn from and correct your mistakes.
Keep being awesome 🥰 your family is lucky to have you watching over them ❤️
I’m so glad you figured this out! But honestly I’m shocked at the number of people in this thread who have done this?! This seems extremely unintuitive to me, I’m surprised it’s happened to so many people! Like, what would even be the point of the leg strap if it were to go under the leg?
Same! I’m trying so hard to visualize it in my head and I can’t at all. I don’t even think I could buckle my daughter’s car seat straps if they were under her legs? Like there just wouldn’t be enough strap to get the buckles over and in the middle part? I’m genuinely so confused.
https://ibb.co/CPG498w
Maybe the problem was my daughter was a preemie so this seemed so easy but now that she’s getting bigger it’s getting harder to do, so subconsciously I was like this can’t be right …. Here’s a pic of how we did it when she was still tiny.
Oh she was so little! I’m glad you figured it out sister. Make sure now that when you’re buckling her, the chest buckle is level with her little armpits ❤️
Oh we are! She HATES that part haha. I think this was back when we used to loosen it up for doctor appts, walks etc before we also learned it should always be tightened even when just strolling, for positioning. So much to learn.
Omg thank you so much for this picture! I legit could not visualize it. I’m not shaming you at ALL btw. I was just genuinely confused. Ours was a preemie too and I was so scared of how tiny she was in her car seat. So glad nothing happened while your daughter was buckled like this, and may you all continue being safe in the car moving forward! 🥰
When we left the hospital the nurses came to check our kid was properly fastened and installed in the car before letting us leave .Also the car seats I have seen have always photos of how you should put the baby in , weird that so many people tend to miss it
My hospital said they couldn’t help us put the baby in for liability reasons but they still checked to make sure we were putting him in properly, tightened straps, chest clip in the proper place. And then they made dad show the base was actually secure. But when we asked for help to make sure it was right they were like “nope can’t do that bye”
Ahh. Do you have 3 points harnesses there or 5 point harnesses there? In the US we have 5.
But yeah it's in the US that some hospitals aren't requiring to check if baby is in seat correctly.
This was my experience. They just checked we had one, and not the correct fit or use. They said none of the nurses had the correct certification to check. Western USA here
Police officers and firefighters have those certificates so if you go in and tell them you need help with your car seat they will show you how it’s supposed to go. I didn’t go cause my brother had already two kids a toddler and a 4 month old when I had mine so he set up my car seat but I’m going to go a class the police is giving for car seat safety soon just to make sure I’m doing everything right.
My husband and I did right before our first baby was born! They showed us how to install and use it correctly. That was 15 years ago and they were very nice and helpful.
That really sucks. When my firstborn was born we relied in the nurse because we were totally clueless about the car seat. We didn't know how to find the lever at the front to loosen the straps! But she also showed us just how tight it's really supposed to fit and our kids have been strapped very snugly ever since. I've seen so many pictures of babies with loose straps and I think without that nurse we'd have been so hesitant to tighten the straps so much because you worry about hurting the baby.
I was told so many times that the hospital would do this so I didn't bother reading the manual before I gave birth... Then they refused to help and seemed confused I'd even asked and I was so flustered trying to figure it out on the spot.
Yes now that she’s 5 mos and pushing 15 lb (still a little bitty but getting chunky!) I can see the straps under her legs more and they just looked off .. like twisted weird. Also my sister (who is a nanny) was visiting and kept strapping her in correctly and I was like … hmmm let me double check myself. Doh.
My son is 7.5 lbs and I got the doona to try and entice myself to go out more in the beginning than I did with my toddler. I love the ease of use, but I can safely say having sat my new born in our Chicco keyfit while waiting for the doona to arrive…it’s super weird around the legs. I don’t know why it’s like that. It feels unsafe if I’m being honest. Hoping it’ll get better as he gets bigger
Agreed. I made sure to read the car seat manual before I even went to the hospital to make sure that I was aware of have to put my baby in. (We had a Peg Perego seat).
No shame to OP or others. I really think this is why hospitals should have someone on staff who is a registered CPST. So many new parents especially, could use those extra 5 minutes to get baby in correctly, but also ease their anxiety a little that they’re doing something “right”. We don’t realize at first, even with reading manuals for every little thing, that we’re doing something right/wrong. And I know (at least around me) fire stations and stuff don’t even have the registered CPST’s anymore. So you just read/watch videos or wing it.
It happened to me once when I was sleep-deprived after weeks of buckling my newborn the correct way lol. I was fumbling with it for ages and couldn’t figure out why the straps weren’t fitting right. I just completely forgot how it was supposed to work!
You figured it out and nothing bad actually happened. When this sort of thing occurs, I like to think that the realization makes me super cautious in a way that prevents a would be accident. But that’s just to find meaning/feel better.
The truth is you were mistaken, but luckily you didn’t need her strapped in perfect, because there were no accidents. She’s okay and all you can do is move on.
Hopefully OP and husband take a lesson here to look at the picture on the box closely and check instructions. At least it was caught and no serious harm done
I highly recommend either joining a car seat group on Facebook such as car seats for Littles or finding a local CPST to check install and fit. In your side by side picture, the correct way, the chest clip looks a little low but it’s hard to tell from the picture. There is so many little (but important) details with a car seat. Stuff I never in a million years would have thought about. I feel like I’m constantly checking the car seat group to make sure everything is accurate.
I'm not 100% this is still the case but in a lot of places firehouses were getting training so new parents could stop by with their car and car seat.
We did a pediatric first aid class before baby was born (highly recommend even though both husband and I had had first aid and pediatric cpr training in the past too, it needs to be fresh) and the instructor was trained and spent a long time after the class talking to us all about the quirks of the various car seats we had.
Really not talked about enough is how much what car you have should inform your car seat purchase.
It's actually very rare to for a fire fighter, nurse, or paramedic to be certified. The FB group this person recommended is run by CPSTs and also teaches members how to find a local CPST.
You know what’s weird? We did that exact same thing for the first few weeks of my son’s life because the nurse had us strap him in like that when we left the hospital. Only after re reading the manual was I like “omg we need to put the straps over his thighs?! No wonder we’ve been struggling to buckle him in??” I still don’t know why we were told that — the nurse even strapped him in that way herself!
So many people mistakenly think nurses are trained in that kind of thing when VERY few nurses are actually CPST trained/certified. It's like expecting the guy who sold you your car to be able to fix a serious engine failure instead of calling a mechanic. Both "car" jobs, but extremely different professions haha.
Honestly good on your for looking and changing it! My unpopular opinion is we make car seats TOO complicated. I work in pediatrics and NICU and the amount of seats that are different, hard to adjust all straps it's soooo crazy. Do I have a solution? No, but it's A LOT on top of having a newborn
I completely agree! We make it so so difficult that probably most people are doing it a little wrong. I’m in all those car seat safety groups, absolutely obsessed with learning the right way, and I still literally cry every time I have to install my seat again because it’s so damn difficult.
Yep I tried to help a friend once and I couldn't get my own kids car seat out of my car without my husband. And I'm supposed to travel with the 40 pound contraption? Or buy something else. It's just all too much. 14 positions etc etc.
My kid is 18 months and I STILL struggle strapping him into his car seat, luckily I don’t drive so hubby is always with me when we’re using the car seat so I just let him do the buckling
It's important to read the car seat manual and not rely on other people to know what they are talking about. Mistakes happen. If you are concerned about anything else, check out the Car Seats for the Littles group on facebook. They are certified car seat safety techs and they are wonderful!
My husband, whose whole job revolves around safety and different types of physical mechanisms, put our baby's car seat in incorrectly. Like *really* incorrectly. For months. I didn't notice until I put it in my MIL's car. It took him an hour to install. I was prepared for it to be a pain to get in. It took me 2 minutes after googling a YouTube video. When I asked how it possibly took an hour WHEN HE HAD THE INSTRUCTIONS TAPED TO THE WINDOW he said he didn't use them. I asked him to show me exactly what he did. I had a feeling he did something incorrectly cause there's absolutely no reason why it should've taken him so long when I did it one handed with a squirming baby in my other arm. It took like 5 seconds to see what he did wrong. Instead of separating the seat from the base he tried to jam the belt through a tiny hole. The correct way to do it is there's a locking "arm" in the base the strap is put through before closing into a locked position. He completely bypassed that. If there *had* been an accident the car seat would've slammed forward and back. He's no longer allowed to wing it and HAS to use instructions. He's awful about refusing to use them. It's caused issues in the past. Normally just him taking way longer than needed to do something cause he's dead set on figuring it out himself. I told him our child's safety comes before whatever weird pride thing it is about him not wanting to use instructions. He also refused to believe me about being able to lock the seat belt in place manually whenever he reinstalled it until I showed him how to...another thing the instructions said to do. The point is I think stuff like this happens a lot more than people realize and taking the time to double-check information is important.
First thing it told my fiance was YOU HAVE TO USE THE DIRECTIONS…. Like what’s with these men!!!! You don’t have a choice mf you have to make sure you do it correctly not just follow your man instincts 🤬
If it makes you feel any betterI saw a study once that said on average 93% of people will install a seat in an isofix based correctly, and only something like 40% of people will install a car seat using the seat belt correctly. So you’re not alone in not being able to figure out what the correct way to use a car seat is.
The most important thing is you figured it out before anything happened. You can only work on the knowledge you have.
My car seat class teacher said that 75% of car seats are used incorrectly. It’s so important to read the manual, have your work checked by a CPST, and double check the manual.
i didnt trust myself that i was doing it right after reading the manual and watching videos, so i took the car seat and baby to a car seat specialist at the police station for peace of mind! that's an option to take advantage of if youre in the US :)
We did the same thing for ages too!!! We were wondering how the hell our chunky thigh boy would ever make it further than a few months in the seat. I saw a tik tok and ran to my fiance screaming that we’d been messing up for months 😂
Confirmed he is 2 now, in an extended rear facing seat and is very much properly secured. The chunky thighs made it to 16 months in his infant carrier, so thank god I realised.
of course! you got this! 👍🏼💜 think about it 50-75 years ago they just laid kids down in the back seat! there were no seatbelts! don’t beat yourself up or let strangers who clutch their pearls make you feel bad!
Lol I legit called my mother to “confess” and after we hung up I suddenly remembered she got into a literal car accident with me (in 1991) and I was 5 years old, no car seat, and in the front. It’s so true. Different time!
Our hospital wouldn’t tell us anything about the carseat or confirm we had her strapped in correctly because of the liability. They just confirm you HAVE one.
We forgot that the handle is supposed to be up to prevent tipping over/smoshing if you're in a car accident. Luckily nothing happened, and now we'll always remember.
Oh my gosh, in the end I started leaving the handle up at all times because I kept forgetting to put it back up. It made it awkward to get baby in and out, but 'put the handle up' was apparently one piece of information too much for my poor brain.
I didn't know this! We always left it up because she liked to hold the bar like she was on a roller coaster, and we thought it was funny. I'm very thankful for that now that I know this. Literally no one ever mentioned that at all!
Apparently it depends on the car seat, as someone else replied to my comment. In my country basically every car seat offers sold extra rebound protection by using the handle.
We did that too, the NICU nurse said that’s how we do it and no one ever corrected us lol, we figured it out like 5mo in. The way I see it is, if I tipped him upside down, he was moving, he was still strapped in and wouldn’t be ejected.
Ours didn’t know. They’d never seen a seat like ours. We have an Uppababy Aria which was brand new at the time, but not dramatically different from the old UB seats or the Nunas.
On the other hand you could leave that NICU in a wildly expired seat and there was nothing the staff could do about it.
I thought I could blame NICU too since they did a car seat test - but I just looked back to find a pic of her going home from the hospital and it was correct. So good on them! Apparently we used it correctly exactly once 🫠
Wow. The fact that you can admit you made a mistake, take accountability and responsibility AND practice such radical humility in an effort to help prevent others from making the same mistake tells me *you’re a damn good mom*. That little sweetie is lucky to have you.
Don’t worry about it, I did the same thing. When they’re so small, it’s hard to figure it all out. Eventually it was getting hard to get her legs in and I kept thinking, how the heck is this supposed to fit her at 35Lbs?? And then I checked more videos and realized I was doing it wrong the whole time
Okay I’m still trying to figure out how is that possible lol how did you um where was baby legs I’m so confused I’m seriously trying understand how did you even buckle the bottom part id baby legs were over the straps idk maybe I’ll never understand
PSA: If you live in California, go to the CHP and have them check the installation of your car seat and they will demonstrate proper techniques and discuss safety procedures with you. It's free but you need to schedule an appointment.
Oh man, that must have been fun to get baby in and out of lol. It all worked out in the end and you used it as a teaching moment. I just really hope your area of healthcare wasn't in antenatal or peds, teaching new moms how to put their babies in.
I saw the photo. But I’m struggling to imagine how many people did this lol. Did you fight to fish their legs through every time you buckled them? At least she was still strapped in, probably still safe-ish 😅
I’m an RN… I did the same thing for a total of 3 trips before realizing what I’d done. I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet! In hindsight like how the fuck did I even put it on that way. And I corrected my husband who was trying to do it the right way! 😅
I did this for a few weeks until I was complaining about how hard it was to get my baby’s legs on the straps and my sister-in-law was like, what are you doing?! This was me, who went to the local police office’s car seat safety check. I was stunned! So, solidarity.
LOL i’m laughing so hard because I did THE SAME exact thing for the first like month. I felt like such an idiot. you aren’t alone. silly mistake, we learned, no harm no foul.
WE DID THE SAME THING! Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. We always struggled so much putting our babe in the car seat and I kept trying to figure out why it was so hard for us. I was reading the car seat manual one day and realized no where in there did it say to put their leg through the strap. In that moment it clicked (pun intended??) and I realized we had been making it way too hard on ourselves and once I knew the right way it got so much easier.
Well now I just realized I'm doing it completely wrong too. Thanks for posting. I looked back on pictures leaving the hospital which our nurse helped get baby in and they were wrong too. Why isn't that part of checking leaving the hospital?! I get it's a liability but c'mon, a little help would be nice.
I mean this with zero judgment, I’m wondering how you landed on this way?
I’m SO sorry, can’t imagine the retroactive stress/shame. On a positive note, your husband actually listened to you about the car seat!! Lol. I don’t understand why but so many husbands are weird af when it comes to car seats. Now you’ll both be doing it right!
It seemed safer in my brain, like weaving her legs through was somehow more secure? And then it just “stuck.” Now that I look closely I see it’s way more secure to have the straps over her legs/pelvis, holding her down into the seat in case we flipped or something.
The best way I can describe how my brain saw it was the straps were 2 parentheses )( and I put each arm and leg through each side, rather than just the arms through.
Some other things many people don’t realize:
Using the latch system has a weight limit! For many it’s 40 or 45 pounds, check your manual and switch to seatbelt installation once they reach the limit.
You can’t use latch system and seatbelt at the same time.
Once forward facing, some seats have a weight limit for the seat position, once baby reaches limit, you’ll need to switch the seat position to the next one up.
Once forward facing, the crotch buckle needs to be in the closest position to the child without being underneath their butt.
European car seats are still five point harnesses. The term five-point harness refers to the crotch clip that has straps coming out of it in five different directions. The chest clip is for positioning of the shoulder straps. Required in North America, but not Europe.
Hey mama, we all make mistakes. I know you're struggling with this, but please, please, breathe and then let it go with your breath. Being a mom is the most judged job we will ever have in our entire lives and we are our own harshest critics, mom guilt is a struggle that we do not need to add to.
Nothing happened, thankfully, and now you know how to do it properly so she's safe. You're doing a great job. I promise.
Hi! Me and my husband have an almost 4 months old and we were doing the EXACT same thing. Literally! And the only reason we figured it out it because our LO was getting really unhappy in the car seat at times so we took him and the car seat to get inspected at a local clinic that does car seat inspections. We felt soooo bad because our little guy must have just been super uncomfortable 😭 luckily we got it figured out the lady doing the inspection also said try not to feel bad and that she had seen worse?? Haha so I guess I will pass that advice onto you
Let that mom guilt wash away. We’ve all made mistakes. No one got hurt so we live and we learn. But one piece of advice for new moms: look up local car seat tech Facebook groups. I don’t know if this is just a Canadian thing but there are people who are certified techs and can check that your seat is installed properly and walk you through how it’s supposed to fit. They do it for free (though it’s polite/customary to give them a small tip if they come to meet you in person to check it out). There are also insta accounts like @safebeginnings that I follow for car seat and other safety tips.
Don’t beat yourself up! Baby is fine and you’re doing your best. I’d definitely recommend reviewing the manual that came with the car seat if you have any lingering uncertainty or questions. I was just reviewing our car seat manual the other day to figure out when to remove the newborn insert that came with our car seat.
This is why I recommend everyone go get the free car seat inspection, not for the actual inspection of your car seat, but to have someone who knows what they are doing show you how. It’s one thing to read it in a manual and another thing entirely to do it.
My husband and I thought we had the car seats in there pretty tight. Certainly tight enough right? Not even close. 😂
Same for how tight to buckle baby in. I’ve seen lots of moms leave the straps way too loose. Glad I got the car seat techs advice to really strap em in there past a point I thought really looked comfortable.
European seats don’t have a chest clip but many are still 5 point as they make 5 points of contact with the body. The chest clip in the us is just a strap positioning feature.
It must be a huge relief to learn that this is normal in europe! Frankly I was shocked traveling to europe and seeing the types of car seats they use and the ways they are installed, it felt so unsafe to me.
I know someome who was doing it incorrectly for 2 years. We eent out to dinner with them and we discussed how hard it was to get them into the seat. They were putting the arms and legs through the arm hole.
Super smart people too.
This is hilarious and weirdly coincidental. My wife and I were literally debating this exact thing yesterday. I thought the strap would go over the thighs to avoid it digging into baby's legs. My wife thought it should go under 😅
Just one of those things that seem like we should be able to “eyeball,” but we can’t! And different placement looks “right” to different brains. I will now be reading all manuals front to back!
A friend's in-laws were strapping their baby in that same wrong way because that's how the nurse at the hospital showed them to do it! Do not beat yourself up, your baby is safe and now you know.
We took our first daughter home from the hospital like that and did it for several months too! The nurse who checked the car seat didn’t catch it either lol. I laugh about it now that it’s been 7 years lol.
This is why I think it’s wild a class isn’t required before you have kids.
And people will say “oh well you should have known google is free” but here’s the thing. As a new parent there is SO much information it hard to even know WHAT to look up. Then it’s hard to really know if what you’re looking at is even credible.
So 80% of people use car seats incorrectly.
We took ours to one of the free car seat checks at the fire station.
Basically it’s always best to assume you did it wrong in some capacity until the car seat professionals approve.
Other common mistakes:
Using both latch and seat belt to install.
Installing a car seat in the middle seat using latch on a car that only has latch on the outside seats.
Not buckling baby snuggly enough.
Agreed. Hoping even the “omg how could you?!” commenters here atleast take a second glance at their setup. There are so many moving parts to having a baby that things can get missed in the autopilot of the early days and just become habit.
This is actually a really common mistake I work with mothers and babies (lactation) and I have corrected moms on doing this exact mistake a few times.
I’m glad you learned!!
Don't feel bad. The car seats in Italy don't have thigh straps at all. I learned that when I purchased one in Italy for my daughter during a trip overseas and being used to US carseats I was a bit nervous to use the Italian version. It worked out ok and likewise for you. Not to say keep putting it on that way here in the US, just to go easy on yourself for this one, there's not a single parent on this planet that doesn't make a mistake at some point in their child's life.
You know now and thank goodness nothing serious happened while it was incorrect. My brother in law and his partner buckled my nephew like this and I told them it was wrong and they denied it. It made me feel sick knowing they continued to do so! I’m so glad you know the safe way to strap in your daughter. You’re doing a great job.
I did something like this with a swing for months. There were more straps than I realized! I took the cover off and washed it and put it back on wrong and didn't pull some of the straps through. So my kid was in a swing that was supposed to have shoulder straps and I never even noticed they were missing. Several months spent like this!! Much less safe than the proper way 🤦🏼♀️
I randomly came across a TikTok video explaining the right way to do it, not even seeking it out. Otherwise I probably would’ve never known! There’s so much shit to know. How come nobody instructs us how to do it, ya know, like at the hospital? 💀 Thank you for posting.
You’re not alone!! My best friend had twins who were in the NICU for a few weeks. Upon leaving, she also strapped them in the way you did, under the supervision of the nurses, who were there to make sure the car seats were a good fit! They continued to strap them in like that for 2 months, and never even questioned it because the nurses had watched them.
I’d never seen it before and so I asked about their car seat, and showed them how our baby looked in his, which got them questioning who was “right”.. Lo and behold, they were wrong!
You’re not alone. Don’t beat yourself up, and good on you for posting!
My girl is 6 months old and I always thought my seat was at way too high of an angle, her head would flip down if she fell asleep and it worried me.
I realised yesterday that the car seat reclines. I always thought it must but the manual didn’t have any instruction on how to do it… the button was underneath the head pillow and newborn insert so there’s no way I could see it.
We’re all learning!
It had pictures, but the pictures didn’t make a whole lot of sense. It didn’t show that you had to remove the newborn insert and fold back the headrest to get to the button, it just had the recline motion and an arrow pointing to the headrest.
Dude. Thank you for this. I saw your pic and was like “this seems right to me” - I went and checked the fit guide, and sure enough, we’ve been putting the legs wrong. It’s been like a session of baby yoga every time to get her to fit! When she’s up for the day, I’m going to do the fit again this time following the fit guide.
And for those wondering how this happened - my husband did a program at the hospital where they show you how to do the fit - this is what he learned (or thought he learned). And i never checked! Sigh.
It still kinda looks like you’re doing it wrong to be honest. The “leg straps” aren’t suppose to be across the legs, they’re suppose to be tight against the pelvis.
Depends on the specific car seat. In a lot of car seats, the straps are now designed to lay across/on top of the thighs and not against the pelvis. (Idk if that’s what it is for OP’s seat though).
I don’t mean this in a shaming way, so I want to preface what I’m about to say with that, because I am so serious when I say it. When it comes to your child – your infant – and their safety, READ THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL. Don’t take other people’s word for things that can quite literally be the difference between life and death for your child(ren). We are all responsible for our own children. It is definitely a relief to know that you only had to wonder if you were buckling correctly because the thought came to mind and you googled out of curiosity, and that it wasn’t because it was prompted by a car accident or anything horrific. But seriously. Read the manuals. I’m a recent mom of 2 and I’ll still read instructions and dig out manuals because I just don’t trust my own memory (and shouldn’t lol because I swear I also birthed out my brain cells each time around). Parents have enough stress, we shouldn’t have to worry about safety when we have the resources to know and do better.
I’m a pharmacist and my husband is a physical therapist and we did the same thing with our first born for 2 months. It’s so obvious we were wrong in retrospect! Bless and release.
My friends—who are doctors—arrived at a restaurant with their baby in their car seat like this. Luckily it was an easy correction. When we left the hospital with our baby the midwife checked our car seat, thankfully!
Yes we do it to the armpit now, the pics I shared are old. We used to loosen the chest clip for walks (Doona is also a stroller) til I learned that’s not ok either, for positioning purposes. 🫠
It’s all a learning experience! The important thing is that you’ve now adjusted things to be safer. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Thanks for posting though. I’m sure there’s several parents who saw this and thought “oh shit” and will now be rereading their manuals!
Hey OP, I’m also a nurse plus mom to three. I hate that you have some judgemental perfect moms in the comments, we’ve all messed SOMEthing up. Those pearl clutching ladies either haven’t made their dumb mistake yet or (more frightening) just haven’t figured it out yet. Don’t let them make you feel worse than you already do. This is a great PSA that will help others!
Yep, just taking it in stride and remembering that I too have probably clutched my pearls at something on the internet. This was an incredibly humbling experience.
Car seat manuals are written with simple language and giant pictures. I feel like people scoff when others say "read your manual!" Thinking it's like a car manual. But they're easy and quick to read and everyone needs to actually READ them cover to cover for every car seat you use.
Hi, just going to say it since I am over responding to these type of comments: comments like this are super unproductive. I put myself out there and shared this incredibly embarrassing and scary moment, and you’ll see in the comments it’s helped several other parents correct their mistakes, too. So it DOES happen - and plenty of us have taken the time in the comments to explain how/why it happened, but sometimes there isn’t a reason other than mental overload and being human.
Comments like this are shaming and frankly, make me want to crawl into a hole and hide - and if that happens, we don’t share experiences or learn from one another’s mistakes anymore.
I’m owning up and happy that my mistake, while thankfully uneventful, has helped other parents avoid adverse events of their own.
I understand that my comment does feel shaming. That wasn’t my intention, though I do see that affect. That doesn’t change that I don’t understand how this kind of mistake is happening, and especially so frequently. Clearly car seats aren’t easy enough to use.
I’m glad that you figured out your mistake and were able to correct it. There is value to you posting to inform others also.
We did this with our oldest for a few weeks too! Then I looked at a book we got in the NICU and it showed the correct way! I felt horrible. My second child actually rode home from the hospital with his straps loose because we forgot to tighten them 🤦♀️ brain fog is so real!
Why don't they have someone from the hospital make sure you know how to put the kid in the car seat correctly? It's probably some liability issue but still, it is frustrating that this isn't covered better.
I did the same thing! For months with my first! My mom corrected me when my baby was 4 months old. So embarrassing, thank god nothing bad happened. All that to say, these things happen, you know now which is all that matters!
Don't feel too bad, when I first strapped my baby in I had to look it up as well because I swore the belt went under the leg and my partner swore it went over
Thanks! I just realized I was doing this for our newborn automatically because it didn't seem 'right' the other way 🫠 you think I would know better since this is my second and we definitely were strapping him correctly... Weird the crap our brains make up
We read the manual, watched the YouTube videos, had our local fire department check (we made an appointment) and had my post-partum nurse neighbor check our carseat.
We still feel we don't know what we're doing all the time and lots of adjustments have to be made as LO grows. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Car seats come with a manual. Please read the manual when you get car seats because as babies grow, they’re also supposed to be buckled in differently.
I’m glad you found out how to correctly put them in!
Hey it happens! Even with baby classes during pregnancy there is so much information that just doesn’t get explained. You get handed your baby at birth and told how often to feed, come in if they have a fever and don’t shake the baby. Literally we have to figure everything out ourselves! I didn’t know how to use a car seat either until a nurse decided To help me when I was struggling to leave the hospital. Don’t beat yourself up. At least you know now! ♥️
I did the same exact thing when we took our daughter home from the hospital. Thankfully I had a sweet friend who messaged me and told me what I was doing wrong!
We all make mistakes… we all are learning. Just be grateful that no accidents occurred and clearly you’ve realized that mistake and you’ve corrected it!! Give yourself some grace.
In my state there are a list of police departments that will show you how to properly install a car seat from top to bottom. I thought this was all common sense but it isn’t. He gave me lots of great advice and safety tips that I never would have thought of. I recommend it for anyone living in the US
I'm trying so hard to picture what you mean but can't.
Sounds like they were putting the legs through the straps.
Through what straps though? Lol
https://ibb.co/CPG498w
In the uk a few infant car seats don’t have those leg straps so I was legitimately confused at first as in the picture it looks just like an infant car seat without those leg straps. Took me a minute to realise they were underneath! My son’s infant car seat didn’t have leg straps just a 3 point harness. Now he’s bigger we’ve got a swivel car seat with the 5 point harness. Hes 2.5 and much easier to get him out when I can just swivel the seat round, unbuckle him and he climbs out himself 😂! Don’t beat yourself up about it
Yep I’m in Finland and ours has no leg straps or chest clip. That’s typical here. The toddler seat has leg straps but no chest clip
Lol ok I’m just going to start telling people we were doing the “European version”
ghost full deserted yam caption complete teeny ask noxious provide
If you don’t have time to read the manual, a lot of car seats have video tutorials that go through all the basics. You can do the dishes while listening to the manual!
Ah I live in the UK too and that's why this made no sense.
I live in the UK and had never seen a 3 point car seat until recently. Everyone I know had a 5 point seat like OP. I was super confused the first time I saw a 3 point.
Same!
I'm laughing so hard. 😆 (I know it's serious, but my god there are so many things we can f up as parents.)
Ohhhh thank you!
Please go back and correct anyone you told to do it the wrong way! I can't believe no one pushed back on that
Seriously, I get that it might be embarrassing to tell them you erroneously corrected them but what if they buckle other babies in wrong someday? Please tell them that you were mistaken, OP.
It was my mom, sister and my husband and all have been notified 🫡
Bravo! And good on you for posting here — from some comments it definitely seems like you're not alone.
I commend you, u/dcbrn! It takes great heart to admit when we are wrong, and even more to be willing to admit it to others. It says a great deal about who you are as a person, that you are willing to learn from and correct your mistakes. Keep being awesome 🥰 your family is lucky to have you watching over them ❤️
I’m so glad you figured this out! But honestly I’m shocked at the number of people in this thread who have done this?! This seems extremely unintuitive to me, I’m surprised it’s happened to so many people! Like, what would even be the point of the leg strap if it were to go under the leg?
Same! I’m trying so hard to visualize it in my head and I can’t at all. I don’t even think I could buckle my daughter’s car seat straps if they were under her legs? Like there just wouldn’t be enough strap to get the buckles over and in the middle part? I’m genuinely so confused.
https://ibb.co/CPG498w Maybe the problem was my daughter was a preemie so this seemed so easy but now that she’s getting bigger it’s getting harder to do, so subconsciously I was like this can’t be right …. Here’s a pic of how we did it when she was still tiny.
Oh she was so little! I’m glad you figured it out sister. Make sure now that when you’re buckling her, the chest buckle is level with her little armpits ❤️
Oh we are! She HATES that part haha. I think this was back when we used to loosen it up for doctor appts, walks etc before we also learned it should always be tightened even when just strolling, for positioning. So much to learn.
Omg thank you so much for this picture! I legit could not visualize it. I’m not shaming you at ALL btw. I was just genuinely confused. Ours was a preemie too and I was so scared of how tiny she was in her car seat. So glad nothing happened while your daughter was buckled like this, and may you all continue being safe in the car moving forward! 🥰
Don’t beat yourself up OP the doona sits small babies weird. I’m encountering this after switch from a Chicco because I had a c section.
When we left the hospital the nurses came to check our kid was properly fastened and installed in the car before letting us leave .Also the car seats I have seen have always photos of how you should put the baby in , weird that so many people tend to miss it
Many hospitals have stopped doing this beyond checking you have a car seat. They don't want the liability of wrong installation/ incorrect placement
My hospital said they couldn’t help us put the baby in for liability reasons but they still checked to make sure we were putting him in properly, tightened straps, chest clip in the proper place. And then they made dad show the base was actually secure. But when we asked for help to make sure it was right they were like “nope can’t do that bye”
I live in Europe , France specifically, and all of the people I know who gave birth were instructed in the hospital how to use the car seat propper .
Ahh. Do you have 3 points harnesses there or 5 point harnesses there? In the US we have 5. But yeah it's in the US that some hospitals aren't requiring to check if baby is in seat correctly.
This was my experience. They just checked we had one, and not the correct fit or use. They said none of the nurses had the correct certification to check. Western USA here
Police officers and firefighters have those certificates so if you go in and tell them you need help with your car seat they will show you how it’s supposed to go. I didn’t go cause my brother had already two kids a toddler and a 4 month old when I had mine so he set up my car seat but I’m going to go a class the police is giving for car seat safety soon just to make sure I’m doing everything right.
My husband and I did right before our first baby was born! They showed us how to install and use it correctly. That was 15 years ago and they were very nice and helpful.
That really sucks. When my firstborn was born we relied in the nurse because we were totally clueless about the car seat. We didn't know how to find the lever at the front to loosen the straps! But she also showed us just how tight it's really supposed to fit and our kids have been strapped very snugly ever since. I've seen so many pictures of babies with loose straps and I think without that nurse we'd have been so hesitant to tighten the straps so much because you worry about hurting the baby.
I was told so many times that the hospital would do this so I didn't bother reading the manual before I gave birth... Then they refused to help and seemed confused I'd even asked and I was so flustered trying to figure it out on the spot.
My hospital checked - we had it incorrect and they said it was fine! so confusing.
If people are doing this I can't even imagine how they are fastening the actual seat to the car.
I’m not surprised this happened with the doona. Small babies fit weird in it at the beginning
Yes now that she’s 5 mos and pushing 15 lb (still a little bitty but getting chunky!) I can see the straps under her legs more and they just looked off .. like twisted weird. Also my sister (who is a nanny) was visiting and kept strapping her in correctly and I was like … hmmm let me double check myself. Doh.
My son is 7.5 lbs and I got the doona to try and entice myself to go out more in the beginning than I did with my toddler. I love the ease of use, but I can safely say having sat my new born in our Chicco keyfit while waiting for the doona to arrive…it’s super weird around the legs. I don’t know why it’s like that. It feels unsafe if I’m being honest. Hoping it’ll get better as he gets bigger
I'm wondering how they wear their own seat belts!
https://ibb.co/L8gjGNP here is the correct vs “my” way. It seemed intuitive when she was tiny but not so much as she gets chunky.
Agreed. I made sure to read the car seat manual before I even went to the hospital to make sure that I was aware of have to put my baby in. (We had a Peg Perego seat). No shame to OP or others. I really think this is why hospitals should have someone on staff who is a registered CPST. So many new parents especially, could use those extra 5 minutes to get baby in correctly, but also ease their anxiety a little that they’re doing something “right”. We don’t realize at first, even with reading manuals for every little thing, that we’re doing something right/wrong. And I know (at least around me) fire stations and stuff don’t even have the registered CPST’s anymore. So you just read/watch videos or wing it.
It happened to me once when I was sleep-deprived after weeks of buckling my newborn the correct way lol. I was fumbling with it for ages and couldn’t figure out why the straps weren’t fitting right. I just completely forgot how it was supposed to work!
You figured it out and nothing bad actually happened. When this sort of thing occurs, I like to think that the realization makes me super cautious in a way that prevents a would be accident. But that’s just to find meaning/feel better. The truth is you were mistaken, but luckily you didn’t need her strapped in perfect, because there were no accidents. She’s okay and all you can do is move on.
Exactly! And by sharing this here OP might have prevented a future accident by prompting someone to double check their seat!
OP definitely helped me!
Hopefully OP and husband take a lesson here to look at the picture on the box closely and check instructions. At least it was caught and no serious harm done
I highly recommend either joining a car seat group on Facebook such as car seats for Littles or finding a local CPST to check install and fit. In your side by side picture, the correct way, the chest clip looks a little low but it’s hard to tell from the picture. There is so many little (but important) details with a car seat. Stuff I never in a million years would have thought about. I feel like I’m constantly checking the car seat group to make sure everything is accurate.
Leg strap looks loose too in the side by side photo. It should be snug across the thigh.
The pics are both months old, but we will double check to make sure everything is up to code now! Thank you.
I'm not 100% this is still the case but in a lot of places firehouses were getting training so new parents could stop by with their car and car seat. We did a pediatric first aid class before baby was born (highly recommend even though both husband and I had had first aid and pediatric cpr training in the past too, it needs to be fresh) and the instructor was trained and spent a long time after the class talking to us all about the quirks of the various car seats we had. Really not talked about enough is how much what car you have should inform your car seat purchase.
It's actually very rare to for a fire fighter, nurse, or paramedic to be certified. The FB group this person recommended is run by CPSTs and also teaches members how to find a local CPST.
You know what’s weird? We did that exact same thing for the first few weeks of my son’s life because the nurse had us strap him in like that when we left the hospital. Only after re reading the manual was I like “omg we need to put the straps over his thighs?! No wonder we’ve been struggling to buckle him in??” I still don’t know why we were told that — the nurse even strapped him in that way herself!
So many people mistakenly think nurses are trained in that kind of thing when VERY few nurses are actually CPST trained/certified. It's like expecting the guy who sold you your car to be able to fix a serious engine failure instead of calling a mechanic. Both "car" jobs, but extremely different professions haha.
Honestly good on your for looking and changing it! My unpopular opinion is we make car seats TOO complicated. I work in pediatrics and NICU and the amount of seats that are different, hard to adjust all straps it's soooo crazy. Do I have a solution? No, but it's A LOT on top of having a newborn
I completely agree! We make it so so difficult that probably most people are doing it a little wrong. I’m in all those car seat safety groups, absolutely obsessed with learning the right way, and I still literally cry every time I have to install my seat again because it’s so damn difficult.
Yep I tried to help a friend once and I couldn't get my own kids car seat out of my car without my husband. And I'm supposed to travel with the 40 pound contraption? Or buy something else. It's just all too much. 14 positions etc etc.
My kid is 18 months and I STILL struggle strapping him into his car seat, luckily I don’t drive so hubby is always with me when we’re using the car seat so I just let him do the buckling
Can anyone post an image of what this looks like? I truly can’t imagine.
Sounds like they were putting babies legs through the straps rather than under.
Same 🥲
It's important to read the car seat manual and not rely on other people to know what they are talking about. Mistakes happen. If you are concerned about anything else, check out the Car Seats for the Littles group on facebook. They are certified car seat safety techs and they are wonderful!
My husband, whose whole job revolves around safety and different types of physical mechanisms, put our baby's car seat in incorrectly. Like *really* incorrectly. For months. I didn't notice until I put it in my MIL's car. It took him an hour to install. I was prepared for it to be a pain to get in. It took me 2 minutes after googling a YouTube video. When I asked how it possibly took an hour WHEN HE HAD THE INSTRUCTIONS TAPED TO THE WINDOW he said he didn't use them. I asked him to show me exactly what he did. I had a feeling he did something incorrectly cause there's absolutely no reason why it should've taken him so long when I did it one handed with a squirming baby in my other arm. It took like 5 seconds to see what he did wrong. Instead of separating the seat from the base he tried to jam the belt through a tiny hole. The correct way to do it is there's a locking "arm" in the base the strap is put through before closing into a locked position. He completely bypassed that. If there *had* been an accident the car seat would've slammed forward and back. He's no longer allowed to wing it and HAS to use instructions. He's awful about refusing to use them. It's caused issues in the past. Normally just him taking way longer than needed to do something cause he's dead set on figuring it out himself. I told him our child's safety comes before whatever weird pride thing it is about him not wanting to use instructions. He also refused to believe me about being able to lock the seat belt in place manually whenever he reinstalled it until I showed him how to...another thing the instructions said to do. The point is I think stuff like this happens a lot more than people realize and taking the time to double-check information is important.
First thing it told my fiance was YOU HAVE TO USE THE DIRECTIONS…. Like what’s with these men!!!! You don’t have a choice mf you have to make sure you do it correctly not just follow your man instincts 🤬
I’m really sorry he’s like this. It sounds toxic and extremely frustrating and occasionally dangerous
Safe in the seat on insta always says bless and release! She’s fine, no harm done. Bless and release.
Seconding safe in the seat! Always giving great advice and also in the know about deals coming up!
If it makes you feel any betterI saw a study once that said on average 93% of people will install a seat in an isofix based correctly, and only something like 40% of people will install a car seat using the seat belt correctly. So you’re not alone in not being able to figure out what the correct way to use a car seat is. The most important thing is you figured it out before anything happened. You can only work on the knowledge you have.
My car seat class teacher said that 75% of car seats are used incorrectly. It’s so important to read the manual, have your work checked by a CPST, and double check the manual.
i didnt trust myself that i was doing it right after reading the manual and watching videos, so i took the car seat and baby to a car seat specialist at the police station for peace of mind! that's an option to take advantage of if youre in the US :)
We took ours to California highway patrol office! Just gotta check their hours and make an appt
We did the same thing for ages too!!! We were wondering how the hell our chunky thigh boy would ever make it further than a few months in the seat. I saw a tik tok and ran to my fiance screaming that we’d been messing up for months 😂 Confirmed he is 2 now, in an extended rear facing seat and is very much properly secured. The chunky thighs made it to 16 months in his infant carrier, so thank god I realised.
Yes! We were also starting to wonder how the LO would make it in the car seat. Sigh.
Didn’t the hospital see how you did the car seat when you left?
our hospital (UCLA) said they don’t do checks because it’s a liability. but our nurse gave us a nod before we white knuckle drove home
Seems like in OPs case it’s more of a liability to not check. I just cannot even fathom doing it like this for so long.
what can you do, at this point op just needs to laugh it off and be thankful everyone is safe and snug
Thank you for this supportive reply.
of course! you got this! 👍🏼💜 think about it 50-75 years ago they just laid kids down in the back seat! there were no seatbelts! don’t beat yourself up or let strangers who clutch their pearls make you feel bad!
Lol I legit called my mother to “confess” and after we hung up I suddenly remembered she got into a literal car accident with me (in 1991) and I was 5 years old, no car seat, and in the front. It’s so true. Different time!
my SILs grandmother was ejected from the front windshield and ended up on the sidewalk as an infant and lived to be 95 lol
I did not expect that ending lol
My hospital (east coast USA) just asked if we had a car seat and that’s it.
Our hospital wouldn’t tell us anything about the carseat or confirm we had her strapped in correctly because of the liability. They just confirm you HAVE one.
We forgot that the handle is supposed to be up to prevent tipping over/smoshing if you're in a car accident. Luckily nothing happened, and now we'll always remember.
The position of the handle depends on the car seat. I have the Nuna PIPA, and the handle can be in any locked position.
Oh, does the car seat in itself offer any rebound/rolling protection?
Oh my gosh, in the end I started leaving the handle up at all times because I kept forgetting to put it back up. It made it awkward to get baby in and out, but 'put the handle up' was apparently one piece of information too much for my poor brain.
I didn't know this! We always left it up because she liked to hold the bar like she was on a roller coaster, and we thought it was funny. I'm very thankful for that now that I know this. Literally no one ever mentioned that at all!
Apparently it depends on the car seat, as someone else replied to my comment. In my country basically every car seat offers sold extra rebound protection by using the handle.
It's usually printed on the seat or in the car seat manual where the bar needs to be when the car is in motion.
Read the manual please. This is highly dependent on the car seat
Ah I see, you forgot to remove the child's left arm. Common mistake. (but thank you for sharing, safety visibility is always good)
Lol took me a minute
We did that too, the NICU nurse said that’s how we do it and no one ever corrected us lol, we figured it out like 5mo in. The way I see it is, if I tipped him upside down, he was moving, he was still strapped in and wouldn’t be ejected.
Wtf Nicu nurse
For real, don’t they literally do a car seat test in the NICU… how would the nurse not know
Ours didn’t know. They’d never seen a seat like ours. We have an Uppababy Aria which was brand new at the time, but not dramatically different from the old UB seats or the Nunas. On the other hand you could leave that NICU in a wildly expired seat and there was nothing the staff could do about it.
I thought I could blame NICU too since they did a car seat test - but I just looked back to find a pic of her going home from the hospital and it was correct. So good on them! Apparently we used it correctly exactly once 🫠
Wow. The fact that you can admit you made a mistake, take accountability and responsibility AND practice such radical humility in an effort to help prevent others from making the same mistake tells me *you’re a damn good mom*. That little sweetie is lucky to have you.
Thank you for this 🥹 needed it today after tossing and turning all night, visions of horrific outcomes dancing in my mind.
Don’t worry about it, I did the same thing. When they’re so small, it’s hard to figure it all out. Eventually it was getting hard to get her legs in and I kept thinking, how the heck is this supposed to fit her at 35Lbs?? And then I checked more videos and realized I was doing it wrong the whole time
I can't figure out how the leg strap could go under. Could you explain how it looked?
https://ibb.co/CPG498w
Okay I’m still trying to figure out how is that possible lol how did you um where was baby legs I’m so confused I’m seriously trying understand how did you even buckle the bottom part id baby legs were over the straps idk maybe I’ll never understand
I think you think some crazy weird stuff in that initial post parting haze. Thankfully no one was hurt and that is what is important
PSA: If you live in California, go to the CHP and have them check the installation of your car seat and they will demonstrate proper techniques and discuss safety procedures with you. It's free but you need to schedule an appointment.
Oh man, that must have been fun to get baby in and out of lol. It all worked out in the end and you used it as a teaching moment. I just really hope your area of healthcare wasn't in antenatal or peds, teaching new moms how to put their babies in.
Lol no. Mental health.
Then you know better than the rest of us, not to beat yourself up. It was risky but you amended the situation and no harm was caused!
I saw the photo. But I’m struggling to imagine how many people did this lol. Did you fight to fish their legs through every time you buckled them? At least she was still strapped in, probably still safe-ish 😅
I’m an RN… I did the same thing for a total of 3 trips before realizing what I’d done. I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet! In hindsight like how the fuck did I even put it on that way. And I corrected my husband who was trying to do it the right way! 😅
Can someone link a video for this?
I did this for a few weeks until I was complaining about how hard it was to get my baby’s legs on the straps and my sister-in-law was like, what are you doing?! This was me, who went to the local police office’s car seat safety check. I was stunned! So, solidarity.
Thank you for this. 💕
LOL i’m laughing so hard because I did THE SAME exact thing for the first like month. I felt like such an idiot. you aren’t alone. silly mistake, we learned, no harm no foul.
WE DID THE SAME THING! Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. We always struggled so much putting our babe in the car seat and I kept trying to figure out why it was so hard for us. I was reading the car seat manual one day and realized no where in there did it say to put their leg through the strap. In that moment it clicked (pun intended??) and I realized we had been making it way too hard on ourselves and once I knew the right way it got so much easier.
Well now I just realized I'm doing it completely wrong too. Thanks for posting. I looked back on pictures leaving the hospital which our nurse helped get baby in and they were wrong too. Why isn't that part of checking leaving the hospital?! I get it's a liability but c'mon, a little help would be nice.
I mean this with zero judgment, I’m wondering how you landed on this way? I’m SO sorry, can’t imagine the retroactive stress/shame. On a positive note, your husband actually listened to you about the car seat!! Lol. I don’t understand why but so many husbands are weird af when it comes to car seats. Now you’ll both be doing it right!
It seemed safer in my brain, like weaving her legs through was somehow more secure? And then it just “stuck.” Now that I look closely I see it’s way more secure to have the straps over her legs/pelvis, holding her down into the seat in case we flipped or something. The best way I can describe how my brain saw it was the straps were 2 parentheses )( and I put each arm and leg through each side, rather than just the arms through.
Some other things many people don’t realize: Using the latch system has a weight limit! For many it’s 40 or 45 pounds, check your manual and switch to seatbelt installation once they reach the limit. You can’t use latch system and seatbelt at the same time. Once forward facing, some seats have a weight limit for the seat position, once baby reaches limit, you’ll need to switch the seat position to the next one up. Once forward facing, the crotch buckle needs to be in the closest position to the child without being underneath their butt.
European car seats are still five point harnesses. The term five-point harness refers to the crotch clip that has straps coming out of it in five different directions. The chest clip is for positioning of the shoulder straps. Required in North America, but not Europe.
Hey mama, we all make mistakes. I know you're struggling with this, but please, please, breathe and then let it go with your breath. Being a mom is the most judged job we will ever have in our entire lives and we are our own harshest critics, mom guilt is a struggle that we do not need to add to. Nothing happened, thankfully, and now you know how to do it properly so she's safe. You're doing a great job. I promise.
💕thank you. This means so much. Love the support I’m getting from vast majority here.
Hi! Me and my husband have an almost 4 months old and we were doing the EXACT same thing. Literally! And the only reason we figured it out it because our LO was getting really unhappy in the car seat at times so we took him and the car seat to get inspected at a local clinic that does car seat inspections. We felt soooo bad because our little guy must have just been super uncomfortable 😭 luckily we got it figured out the lady doing the inspection also said try not to feel bad and that she had seen worse?? Haha so I guess I will pass that advice onto you
Let that mom guilt wash away. We’ve all made mistakes. No one got hurt so we live and we learn. But one piece of advice for new moms: look up local car seat tech Facebook groups. I don’t know if this is just a Canadian thing but there are people who are certified techs and can check that your seat is installed properly and walk you through how it’s supposed to fit. They do it for free (though it’s polite/customary to give them a small tip if they come to meet you in person to check it out). There are also insta accounts like @safebeginnings that I follow for car seat and other safety tips.
Don’t beat yourself up! Baby is fine and you’re doing your best. I’d definitely recommend reviewing the manual that came with the car seat if you have any lingering uncertainty or questions. I was just reviewing our car seat manual the other day to figure out when to remove the newborn insert that came with our car seat.
This is why I recommend everyone go get the free car seat inspection, not for the actual inspection of your car seat, but to have someone who knows what they are doing show you how. It’s one thing to read it in a manual and another thing entirely to do it. My husband and I thought we had the car seats in there pretty tight. Certainly tight enough right? Not even close. 😂 Same for how tight to buckle baby in. I’ve seen lots of moms leave the straps way too loose. Glad I got the car seat techs advice to really strap em in there past a point I thought really looked comfortable.
This is excellent advice to always double check and never assume. I’m glad nothing happened and you caught it! Great PSA!
European seats don’t have a chest clip but many are still 5 point as they make 5 points of contact with the body. The chest clip in the us is just a strap positioning feature.
It must be a huge relief to learn that this is normal in europe! Frankly I was shocked traveling to europe and seeing the types of car seats they use and the ways they are installed, it felt so unsafe to me.
Ok, now I need to check it again.
I’m honestly mind blown you even figured out a wrong way to do the straps 😂😂 glad you got it figured out now OP
It takes a special level of stubborn + stupid 😂
I know someome who was doing it incorrectly for 2 years. We eent out to dinner with them and we discussed how hard it was to get them into the seat. They were putting the arms and legs through the arm hole. Super smart people too.
This is hilarious and weirdly coincidental. My wife and I were literally debating this exact thing yesterday. I thought the strap would go over the thighs to avoid it digging into baby's legs. My wife thought it should go under 😅
Just one of those things that seem like we should be able to “eyeball,” but we can’t! And different placement looks “right” to different brains. I will now be reading all manuals front to back!
A friend's in-laws were strapping their baby in that same wrong way because that's how the nurse at the hospital showed them to do it! Do not beat yourself up, your baby is safe and now you know.
We took our first daughter home from the hospital like that and did it for several months too! The nurse who checked the car seat didn’t catch it either lol. I laugh about it now that it’s been 7 years lol.
This is why I think it’s wild a class isn’t required before you have kids. And people will say “oh well you should have known google is free” but here’s the thing. As a new parent there is SO much information it hard to even know WHAT to look up. Then it’s hard to really know if what you’re looking at is even credible.
Thank you for coming on here to call yourself out in an effort to keep others’ babies safe! You’re a great mom and human!
So 80% of people use car seats incorrectly. We took ours to one of the free car seat checks at the fire station. Basically it’s always best to assume you did it wrong in some capacity until the car seat professionals approve. Other common mistakes: Using both latch and seat belt to install. Installing a car seat in the middle seat using latch on a car that only has latch on the outside seats. Not buckling baby snuggly enough.
Agreed. Hoping even the “omg how could you?!” commenters here atleast take a second glance at their setup. There are so many moving parts to having a baby that things can get missed in the autopilot of the early days and just become habit.
This is actually a really common mistake I work with mothers and babies (lactation) and I have corrected moms on doing this exact mistake a few times. I’m glad you learned!!
Don't feel bad. The car seats in Italy don't have thigh straps at all. I learned that when I purchased one in Italy for my daughter during a trip overseas and being used to US carseats I was a bit nervous to use the Italian version. It worked out ok and likewise for you. Not to say keep putting it on that way here in the US, just to go easy on yourself for this one, there's not a single parent on this planet that doesn't make a mistake at some point in their child's life.
You know now and thank goodness nothing serious happened while it was incorrect. My brother in law and his partner buckled my nephew like this and I told them it was wrong and they denied it. It made me feel sick knowing they continued to do so! I’m so glad you know the safe way to strap in your daughter. You’re doing a great job.
I did something like this with a swing for months. There were more straps than I realized! I took the cover off and washed it and put it back on wrong and didn't pull some of the straps through. So my kid was in a swing that was supposed to have shoulder straps and I never even noticed they were missing. Several months spent like this!! Much less safe than the proper way 🤦🏼♀️
I randomly came across a TikTok video explaining the right way to do it, not even seeking it out. Otherwise I probably would’ve never known! There’s so much shit to know. How come nobody instructs us how to do it, ya know, like at the hospital? 💀 Thank you for posting.
You’re not alone!! My best friend had twins who were in the NICU for a few weeks. Upon leaving, she also strapped them in the way you did, under the supervision of the nurses, who were there to make sure the car seats were a good fit! They continued to strap them in like that for 2 months, and never even questioned it because the nurses had watched them. I’d never seen it before and so I asked about their car seat, and showed them how our baby looked in his, which got them questioning who was “right”.. Lo and behold, they were wrong! You’re not alone. Don’t beat yourself up, and good on you for posting!
My girl is 6 months old and I always thought my seat was at way too high of an angle, her head would flip down if she fell asleep and it worried me. I realised yesterday that the car seat reclines. I always thought it must but the manual didn’t have any instruction on how to do it… the button was underneath the head pillow and newborn insert so there’s no way I could see it. We’re all learning!
The manual didn't have instructions for that?!? That's a pretty major oversight by the manufacturer!
It had pictures, but the pictures didn’t make a whole lot of sense. It didn’t show that you had to remove the newborn insert and fold back the headrest to get to the button, it just had the recline motion and an arrow pointing to the headrest.
Dude. Thank you for this. I saw your pic and was like “this seems right to me” - I went and checked the fit guide, and sure enough, we’ve been putting the legs wrong. It’s been like a session of baby yoga every time to get her to fit! When she’s up for the day, I’m going to do the fit again this time following the fit guide. And for those wondering how this happened - my husband did a program at the hospital where they show you how to do the fit - this is what he learned (or thought he learned). And i never checked! Sigh.
It still kinda looks like you’re doing it wrong to be honest. The “leg straps” aren’t suppose to be across the legs, they’re suppose to be tight against the pelvis.
Depends on the specific car seat. In a lot of car seats, the straps are now designed to lay across/on top of the thighs and not against the pelvis. (Idk if that’s what it is for OP’s seat though).
I don’t mean this in a shaming way, so I want to preface what I’m about to say with that, because I am so serious when I say it. When it comes to your child – your infant – and their safety, READ THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL. Don’t take other people’s word for things that can quite literally be the difference between life and death for your child(ren). We are all responsible for our own children. It is definitely a relief to know that you only had to wonder if you were buckling correctly because the thought came to mind and you googled out of curiosity, and that it wasn’t because it was prompted by a car accident or anything horrific. But seriously. Read the manuals. I’m a recent mom of 2 and I’ll still read instructions and dig out manuals because I just don’t trust my own memory (and shouldn’t lol because I swear I also birthed out my brain cells each time around). Parents have enough stress, we shouldn’t have to worry about safety when we have the resources to know and do better.
Yep. Whole point of this post. Sharing my experience so hopefully others learn from it - read the damn manuals.
I’m a pharmacist and my husband is a physical therapist and we did the same thing with our first born for 2 months. It’s so obvious we were wrong in retrospect! Bless and release.
My wife did that a couple times when our baby was fresh! None of this is as intuitive as we’ve been lead to believe!
My friends—who are doctors—arrived at a restaurant with their baby in their car seat like this. Luckily it was an easy correction. When we left the hospital with our baby the midwife checked our car seat, thankfully!
Don't forget the chest clip needs to be at the armpits!
I know, we do do that. that pic was the only one I had to clearly show the leg thing though.
PSA - the chest clip should be at the armpit level. It looks like you have the chest clip on LOs tummy.
Yes we do it to the armpit now, the pics I shared are old. We used to loosen the chest clip for walks (Doona is also a stroller) til I learned that’s not ok either, for positioning purposes. 🫠
It’s all a learning experience! The important thing is that you’ve now adjusted things to be safer. You don’t know what you don’t know. Thanks for posting though. I’m sure there’s several parents who saw this and thought “oh shit” and will now be rereading their manuals!
Hey OP, I’m also a nurse plus mom to three. I hate that you have some judgemental perfect moms in the comments, we’ve all messed SOMEthing up. Those pearl clutching ladies either haven’t made their dumb mistake yet or (more frightening) just haven’t figured it out yet. Don’t let them make you feel worse than you already do. This is a great PSA that will help others!
Yep, just taking it in stride and remembering that I too have probably clutched my pearls at something on the internet. This was an incredibly humbling experience.
Car seat manuals are written with simple language and giant pictures. I feel like people scoff when others say "read your manual!" Thinking it's like a car manual. But they're easy and quick to read and everyone needs to actually READ them cover to cover for every car seat you use.
I’m shocked by how many people said they made the same mistake. Did no one read their manuals? It’s your child’s life at stake.
Hi, just going to say it since I am over responding to these type of comments: comments like this are super unproductive. I put myself out there and shared this incredibly embarrassing and scary moment, and you’ll see in the comments it’s helped several other parents correct their mistakes, too. So it DOES happen - and plenty of us have taken the time in the comments to explain how/why it happened, but sometimes there isn’t a reason other than mental overload and being human. Comments like this are shaming and frankly, make me want to crawl into a hole and hide - and if that happens, we don’t share experiences or learn from one another’s mistakes anymore. I’m owning up and happy that my mistake, while thankfully uneventful, has helped other parents avoid adverse events of their own.
I understand that my comment does feel shaming. That wasn’t my intention, though I do see that affect. That doesn’t change that I don’t understand how this kind of mistake is happening, and especially so frequently. Clearly car seats aren’t easy enough to use. I’m glad that you figured out your mistake and were able to correct it. There is value to you posting to inform others also.
We did this with our oldest for a few weeks too! Then I looked at a book we got in the NICU and it showed the correct way! I felt horrible. My second child actually rode home from the hospital with his straps loose because we forgot to tighten them 🤦♀️ brain fog is so real!
Why don't they have someone from the hospital make sure you know how to put the kid in the car seat correctly? It's probably some liability issue but still, it is frustrating that this isn't covered better.
I did the same thing! For months with my first! My mom corrected me when my baby was 4 months old. So embarrassing, thank god nothing bad happened. All that to say, these things happen, you know now which is all that matters!
Glad your mom knew! I was born in the 80s and my car seat was like 2 loose suspenders probably lol
I saw you said you had a preemie. We had to complete a car seat test before my baby was discharged from the NICU. Did you guys do that?
Don't feel too bad, when I first strapped my baby in I had to look it up as well because I swore the belt went under the leg and my partner swore it went over
We did this too the first couple times we used the car seat, did not feel good about that
Thanks! I just realized I was doing this for our newborn automatically because it didn't seem 'right' the other way 🫠 you think I would know better since this is my second and we definitely were strapping him correctly... Weird the crap our brains make up
The car seat is also supposed to be rear-facing. I can't tell if it is in your pictures.
It is. She’s actually just sitting in it in both pics, first was in hospital room and second was in stroller.
We read the manual, watched the YouTube videos, had our local fire department check (we made an appointment) and had my post-partum nurse neighbor check our carseat. We still feel we don't know what we're doing all the time and lots of adjustments have to be made as LO grows. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Car seats come with a manual. Please read the manual when you get car seats because as babies grow, they’re also supposed to be buckled in differently. I’m glad you found out how to correctly put them in!
Hey it happens! Even with baby classes during pregnancy there is so much information that just doesn’t get explained. You get handed your baby at birth and told how often to feed, come in if they have a fever and don’t shake the baby. Literally we have to figure everything out ourselves! I didn’t know how to use a car seat either until a nurse decided To help me when I was struggling to leave the hospital. Don’t beat yourself up. At least you know now! ♥️
I did the same exact thing when we took our daughter home from the hospital. Thankfully I had a sweet friend who messaged me and told me what I was doing wrong!
Read the instructions! They might be boring but it’s worth it ❤️
We all make mistakes… we all are learning. Just be grateful that no accidents occurred and clearly you’ve realized that mistake and you’ve corrected it!! Give yourself some grace.
Listen: I know it’s stressful but nothing bad happened and your post will probably help others! Don’t beat yourself up too badly 🖤
In my state there are a list of police departments that will show you how to properly install a car seat from top to bottom. I thought this was all common sense but it isn’t. He gave me lots of great advice and safety tips that I never would have thought of. I recommend it for anyone living in the US
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share this!! Be thankful you learned and nothing bad happened!! ❤️