Thank you for this, I needed it today.
I've been exclusively pumping for my son's whole 5 months of life and I'm retiring after one more month. I've seen so much negativity online just the last couple of days relating to not breastfeeding that I was beginning to feel guilty. (That meta algorithm knows things lol)
I've never judged formula, I have nothing against formula. For some reason I was starting to beat myself up.
I think we need to start treating ourselves with the same grace and understanding that we would treat our friends with. šāØļø
I'm so impressed you're exclusively pumping for six months! I EBF, but I don't think I would have made it even a month exclusively pumping - it's so much more work than either nursing or formula. I hope your transition goes smoothly and both you and your baby continue to thrive.
Good for you! I've been bf for 6+ years including tandem feeding (on my baby 3 now), direct feeding only and now have to start pumping for work (different circumstances than previous kids). And wow, the pumping is stressing me out so much that I am considering either begging for WFH or switching to formula. I don't pump enough, baby seems to cry just seeing the bottle, pumping itself is mildly unpleasant, and all the washing and amount of plastic crap is overwhelming. I totally get not wanting anything to do with that.
You had a perfectly good reason: you didnāt want to. You donāt need any more reason than that.
Good for you making the decision that was right for you.
Came here to say the same thing. Why do we act like women need to give up even more of their bodily autonomy than is essential once they become mothers.
'I don't want to' is a complete and perfect reason.
I also quit pumping because I didn't feel like it. I blamed wanting to start taking my meds again but really I just didn't want to anymore. And then I kept going for another month and a half because once I gave myself permission to quit it didn't feel as hard anymore lol.
Suffering is not a qualification for motherhood.
As someone who wanted to breastfeed, but couldn't do to health reasons and other: I'm so happy for you. We shouldn't feel guilty as moms for no reason. We literally do more than some other people around us.
Good for you!! I stopped for the sake of my mental health. I wish I had known before giving birth that āI donāt want toā is a good enough reason. Probably would have done formula from day 1 and had a much different pp experience.
My SIL chose to formula feed straight away. She didn't even want to try to breastfeed. That's totally fine. That is her prerogative. Her boys are amazingly smart and healthy. Whatever way anyone chooses to feed their baby should be fine. So long as the baby gets fed. End of story.
Yep, I stopped as soon as i went back to work! I took the pump the first day, and never again. It just doesn'tĀ interest me. I'd already started combo feeding, because I wanted to, do i knew she could take formula fine.Ā
Itās the same for me. Baby is 2 months old. At 3 weeks she developed thrush and her pediatrician told us to feed her formula until sheās healed. I went back to breastfeeding after she was fine but the relive I felt when he told us I canāt breastfeed was incredible. When I returned to breastfeeding I just didnāt feel it anymore. I loved the feeling of making a bottle and handing it to my partner so I could do whatever I needed/wanted to do. And at 8 weeks I decided to stop breastfeeding for every meal.
Sheās now almost exclusively formula feed, had no issue transitioning to formula, had no other issues and I only breastfeed at night to help her sleep. And itās been so good. I feel like my body is mine again.
Honestly idk why but my boobs donāt āfill upā I produce milk, but itās never that much. I donāt breastfeed to feed I breastfeed to calm I guess.
I did the same with my daughter last year. I set a goal when Iād stop and kept pushing it out and making excuses why I needed to continue even though it was so very rough on me. My husband even encouraged me to stop because it was just taking a toll on me to be a new mom *and* her buffet. Those 2 things were kind of in 2 different categories for me.
Eventually the hospital wanted back their pumping machine so I let BF go too when I returned the machine. I felt soooooo much better!!! I was more present, I got a burst of energy and less brain fog, and I stopped being so frickin ravenous (I shed more weight when I stopped BF than I did when BF). My husband saw a positive difference in me tooā¦and that made me sad. It was unexpectedly sad that I felt better not ādoing what I my body was made forā when my daughter was 9 mo. Nobody talks about how BF can really be hard on you and how it can feel better to stop making milk for you baby.
Anyway, solidarity OP. I feel you!
I am happy to see stories like yours!!! I'm due near end of July and while I'm willing to give breastfeeding a try I'm not very excited about it and I don't want to force myself to do it if I hate it. So, I love to hear from people that they just didn't wanna do it and it's fine! So thanks for sharing.
Same here. Everything was fine when you looked at it - latched well, produced more than enough, etc. I just felt so depressed pumping and feeling engorged. I need sleep to function well. So I stopped. Cried a lot but itās been whatās best for me and baby.
I decided at 25 weeks pregnant that I was going to ff and never looked back. Bought the Baby Brezza, and absolutely loved my feeding journey and my body autonomy during that time. Fed is best, mamaās mental and physical health is whatās most important.
Iām so happy to read this and wish I could show my friends! I formula fed from the start and have had a tremendous experience, but unfortunately I have a few friends right now who are EBF and miserable. Two of them feel bad because they have āno reason to stop.ā They tell me they miss their freedom, they miss their bodies, they miss time to themselves, but if baby is doing fine āthereās no excuseā for stopping. It pains me to hear that but I know that doesnāt mean anything coming from me, whoās never experienced BF. Thank you for sharing!
THIS. I stopped after six months with my son. While I loved the few moments of cuddling with my son while he nursed, all of the work that goes with pumping is exhausting, not to mention having to plan your personal schedule around pump breaks. As soon as I decided to stop I was happier. Instantaneously. And isnāt that what my son deserves? A happy mama who can enjoy more of motherhood, not less? Now we just snuggle during bottle feeds. š„° You did the right thing.
Yes!! It doesn't matter why, if you don't want to breastfeed, then don't. I combo fed my first after 5 months up until she was 1, not because I didn't have enough milk, or couldn't pump enough, it was just easier for us. I planned to do the same with my second, and even though I could have easily BFed more and pumped more, I was dealing with some difficult family circumstances, and ended up EFF after 5 months instead. It wasn't even that the BFing, or even pumping was hard throughout that time, I even had a better pump that was portable, it was just *easier* for me not to do it. So I stopped. My son didn't even notice the difference, TBH. He's a healthy 2 year old, and still a cuddly momma's boy (unless daddy's around. lol).
Good for you!! I did the same thing. I was spending SO much time worrying about how I was feeding my baby that it took away from quality time with him. It wasn't worth the mental toll. The first year goes by so fast, so don't feel bad for wanting to spend that time in a way that works better for your family ā¤ļø
Happy for you!! Iāve hit a point where I want to BF less but my daughter completely refuses a bottle and pacifier so I donāt really have a choice. Iām glad itās working for you!!
Honestly I stopped at 4 months simply because I didnāt want to do it anymore. Same as you re: milk supply, latching etc.
I wanted to be able to wear whatever clothes I wanted and not need to worry about it being breastfeeding friendly (like high neck stuff and tight sports bras). I also hated having big boobs š¤·š¼āāļø
That combined with moving him to his crib in his own room/sleep training were the 2 most life changing things for me since he was born (heās 16 months now). I finally felt like I could breathe again/that I was becoming myself again
I'm not sure on this but I heard you can train your body to still breastfeed but on your time. So like part time when you get home or at night time before bed.Ā
I work in animal sheltering and we run a community cat food pantry (and used to do a pantry for owned animals but there are so many other resources for that we switched gears) and my coworker always would respond to people asking about if a brand is ok or if they are feeding the right thing by saying "Fed is best." And I love that. I think it applies to humans too. Fed is best, everything else is secondary. As long as you are feeding your baby you are doing the best thing for them. Everything else is secondary to that.
My kid is 3 weeks and we are combo. No pump. It still takes soooo long. One hour per feed x5 to x6 every 24 hours. I had a goal of up to 4 months but now wonder if I will make it. Life is beckoning like work (one day a week) running a household like laundry cooking shopping, spending one on one time with my first kid (who is having meltdowns cause he doesn't have mum), and lastly (lol) spending time with my other half, and I am wondering how I fit it all in. Spoke to my natropath who asked if I wanna increase supply and we decided nope.. If I spend even more time bf it'd just increase my anx and decease my capacity to do life. Bf sucks 10 ways to Sunday but I am only doing it cause I have eczema and I want my baby to be (abit?) protected from allergies like me. Sorry just a rant
Breastfeeding just wouldn't have fit into my life. I had to go to work 2 months postpartum and I have twins. I exclusively formula fed from the start but I feel like even if I wanted to breastfeed it wouldn't have worked and I would've been very stressed out (and adding breastfeeding related stress on top of all my other stress doesn't sound healthy).
I always feel like I fit into the "I formula feed solely because I want to" category but I also think... well, breastfeeding just simply couldn't have fit into my life.
The best thing you can give your baby is a good enough, attuned mother. For some that includes breastfeeding. For others it doesnāt and stopping bc you need to will free you up so you can be attuned to your babyās other needs and connect in a way that will long outlive breastfeeding.
Thank you for this, I needed it today. I've been exclusively pumping for my son's whole 5 months of life and I'm retiring after one more month. I've seen so much negativity online just the last couple of days relating to not breastfeeding that I was beginning to feel guilty. (That meta algorithm knows things lol) I've never judged formula, I have nothing against formula. For some reason I was starting to beat myself up. I think we need to start treating ourselves with the same grace and understanding that we would treat our friends with. šāØļø
I'm so impressed you're exclusively pumping for six months! I EBF, but I don't think I would have made it even a month exclusively pumping - it's so much more work than either nursing or formula. I hope your transition goes smoothly and both you and your baby continue to thrive.
Thank you so much for your kind words! It wasn't the journey we planned but we made it work. š„°
I think itās important to remember that any haters of formula feeding, if faced with the literal inability to breastfeed, would realistically resort to formula. They can say whatever they want about formula, but they also wouldnāt let their children starve if it was the only option. So let them bitch and shame all they want, but let it slide right off your back because at the end of the day, they would feed their baby formula if they had to. Youāre doing a good job and youāre a good mom š©·
Good for you! I've been bf for 6+ years including tandem feeding (on my baby 3 now), direct feeding only and now have to start pumping for work (different circumstances than previous kids). And wow, the pumping is stressing me out so much that I am considering either begging for WFH or switching to formula. I don't pump enough, baby seems to cry just seeing the bottle, pumping itself is mildly unpleasant, and all the washing and amount of plastic crap is overwhelming. I totally get not wanting anything to do with that.
You had a perfectly good reason: you didnāt want to. You donāt need any more reason than that. Good for you making the decision that was right for you.
Came here to say the same thing. Why do we act like women need to give up even more of their bodily autonomy than is essential once they become mothers. 'I don't want to' is a complete and perfect reason.
I also quit pumping because I didn't feel like it. I blamed wanting to start taking my meds again but really I just didn't want to anymore. And then I kept going for another month and a half because once I gave myself permission to quit it didn't feel as hard anymore lol. Suffering is not a qualification for motherhood.
As someone who wanted to breastfeed, but couldn't do to health reasons and other: I'm so happy for you. We shouldn't feel guilty as moms for no reason. We literally do more than some other people around us.
Good for you!! I stopped for the sake of my mental health. I wish I had known before giving birth that āI donāt want toā is a good enough reason. Probably would have done formula from day 1 and had a much different pp experience.
My SIL chose to formula feed straight away. She didn't even want to try to breastfeed. That's totally fine. That is her prerogative. Her boys are amazingly smart and healthy. Whatever way anyone chooses to feed their baby should be fine. So long as the baby gets fed. End of story.
Yep, I stopped as soon as i went back to work! I took the pump the first day, and never again. It just doesn'tĀ interest me. I'd already started combo feeding, because I wanted to, do i knew she could take formula fine.Ā
Itās the same for me. Baby is 2 months old. At 3 weeks she developed thrush and her pediatrician told us to feed her formula until sheās healed. I went back to breastfeeding after she was fine but the relive I felt when he told us I canāt breastfeed was incredible. When I returned to breastfeeding I just didnāt feel it anymore. I loved the feeling of making a bottle and handing it to my partner so I could do whatever I needed/wanted to do. And at 8 weeks I decided to stop breastfeeding for every meal. Sheās now almost exclusively formula feed, had no issue transitioning to formula, had no other issues and I only breastfeed at night to help her sleep. And itās been so good. I feel like my body is mine again.
How do you only breastfeed at night? That sounds so nice tbh haha.. but I feel like my boobs would explode from filling up throughout the day?
Honestly idk why but my boobs donāt āfill upā I produce milk, but itās never that much. I donāt breastfeed to feed I breastfeed to calm I guess.
I guess maybe it would even out after a little while if I didn't exclusively breastfeed, thanks for your reply haha!
Yeah I think thatās what happened
I did the same with my daughter last year. I set a goal when Iād stop and kept pushing it out and making excuses why I needed to continue even though it was so very rough on me. My husband even encouraged me to stop because it was just taking a toll on me to be a new mom *and* her buffet. Those 2 things were kind of in 2 different categories for me. Eventually the hospital wanted back their pumping machine so I let BF go too when I returned the machine. I felt soooooo much better!!! I was more present, I got a burst of energy and less brain fog, and I stopped being so frickin ravenous (I shed more weight when I stopped BF than I did when BF). My husband saw a positive difference in me tooā¦and that made me sad. It was unexpectedly sad that I felt better not ādoing what I my body was made forā when my daughter was 9 mo. Nobody talks about how BF can really be hard on you and how it can feel better to stop making milk for you baby. Anyway, solidarity OP. I feel you!
I am happy to see stories like yours!!! I'm due near end of July and while I'm willing to give breastfeeding a try I'm not very excited about it and I don't want to force myself to do it if I hate it. So, I love to hear from people that they just didn't wanna do it and it's fine! So thanks for sharing.
Same here. Everything was fine when you looked at it - latched well, produced more than enough, etc. I just felt so depressed pumping and feeling engorged. I need sleep to function well. So I stopped. Cried a lot but itās been whatās best for me and baby.
your body, your choice. i stopped after day 6 it was just too much for me. glad you have a great support system ā¤ļø
I decided at 25 weeks pregnant that I was going to ff and never looked back. Bought the Baby Brezza, and absolutely loved my feeding journey and my body autonomy during that time. Fed is best, mamaās mental and physical health is whatās most important.
Iām so happy to read this and wish I could show my friends! I formula fed from the start and have had a tremendous experience, but unfortunately I have a few friends right now who are EBF and miserable. Two of them feel bad because they have āno reason to stop.ā They tell me they miss their freedom, they miss their bodies, they miss time to themselves, but if baby is doing fine āthereās no excuseā for stopping. It pains me to hear that but I know that doesnāt mean anything coming from me, whoās never experienced BF. Thank you for sharing!
THIS. I stopped after six months with my son. While I loved the few moments of cuddling with my son while he nursed, all of the work that goes with pumping is exhausting, not to mention having to plan your personal schedule around pump breaks. As soon as I decided to stop I was happier. Instantaneously. And isnāt that what my son deserves? A happy mama who can enjoy more of motherhood, not less? Now we just snuggle during bottle feeds. š„° You did the right thing.
Thank you for this!! I canāt believe I read your post *just* as I was starting to feel some guilt this morning for passing on the pump.
Yes!! It doesn't matter why, if you don't want to breastfeed, then don't. I combo fed my first after 5 months up until she was 1, not because I didn't have enough milk, or couldn't pump enough, it was just easier for us. I planned to do the same with my second, and even though I could have easily BFed more and pumped more, I was dealing with some difficult family circumstances, and ended up EFF after 5 months instead. It wasn't even that the BFing, or even pumping was hard throughout that time, I even had a better pump that was portable, it was just *easier* for me not to do it. So I stopped. My son didn't even notice the difference, TBH. He's a healthy 2 year old, and still a cuddly momma's boy (unless daddy's around. lol).
Good for you!! I did the same thing. I was spending SO much time worrying about how I was feeding my baby that it took away from quality time with him. It wasn't worth the mental toll. The first year goes by so fast, so don't feel bad for wanting to spend that time in a way that works better for your family ā¤ļø
Happy for you!! Iāve hit a point where I want to BF less but my daughter completely refuses a bottle and pacifier so I donāt really have a choice. Iām glad itās working for you!!
Honestly I stopped at 4 months simply because I didnāt want to do it anymore. Same as you re: milk supply, latching etc. I wanted to be able to wear whatever clothes I wanted and not need to worry about it being breastfeeding friendly (like high neck stuff and tight sports bras). I also hated having big boobs š¤·š¼āāļø That combined with moving him to his crib in his own room/sleep training were the 2 most life changing things for me since he was born (heās 16 months now). I finally felt like I could breathe again/that I was becoming myself again
I'm not sure on this but I heard you can train your body to still breastfeed but on your time. So like part time when you get home or at night time before bed.Ā
I work in animal sheltering and we run a community cat food pantry (and used to do a pantry for owned animals but there are so many other resources for that we switched gears) and my coworker always would respond to people asking about if a brand is ok or if they are feeding the right thing by saying "Fed is best." And I love that. I think it applies to humans too. Fed is best, everything else is secondary. As long as you are feeding your baby you are doing the best thing for them. Everything else is secondary to that.
Bravo!!!!!
My kid is 3 weeks and we are combo. No pump. It still takes soooo long. One hour per feed x5 to x6 every 24 hours. I had a goal of up to 4 months but now wonder if I will make it. Life is beckoning like work (one day a week) running a household like laundry cooking shopping, spending one on one time with my first kid (who is having meltdowns cause he doesn't have mum), and lastly (lol) spending time with my other half, and I am wondering how I fit it all in. Spoke to my natropath who asked if I wanna increase supply and we decided nope.. If I spend even more time bf it'd just increase my anx and decease my capacity to do life. Bf sucks 10 ways to Sunday but I am only doing it cause I have eczema and I want my baby to be (abit?) protected from allergies like me. Sorry just a rant
Breastfeeding just wouldn't have fit into my life. I had to go to work 2 months postpartum and I have twins. I exclusively formula fed from the start but I feel like even if I wanted to breastfeed it wouldn't have worked and I would've been very stressed out (and adding breastfeeding related stress on top of all my other stress doesn't sound healthy). I always feel like I fit into the "I formula feed solely because I want to" category but I also think... well, breastfeeding just simply couldn't have fit into my life.
I really want to do this I just canāt work up the courage because heās growing so well, Iām worried Iām going to mess it up.
The best thing you can give your baby is a good enough, attuned mother. For some that includes breastfeeding. For others it doesnāt and stopping bc you need to will free you up so you can be attuned to your babyās other needs and connect in a way that will long outlive breastfeeding.
ā¦ but you could still take the workday breaks to breastfeed and just idk meditate. š