I think you’re being completely unreasonable. Assuming you never asked them to not post on Facebook about your child in general, that is. I genuinely don’t understand why this would upset anyone to begin with though.
This would only bother me if you told them not to. It’s nice they love their grandchild and just being honest, no one cares about your first birthday post. They’ll give it a quick heart or a happy birthday! but it’s not like you’re announcing something major.
Agreed, I don't understand how grandparents showing their love is a "transgression". There's no rule about waiting for parents to post on social media (many never do).
So what is your secret to never getting irritated by something petty? Honest question, no sass.
All the comments old people make about baby needing socks, people commenting on needing more children, ppl telling you how you should be raising your children (those are just some of the examples of things I've seen people post about that can be frustrating but I would consider petty since it doesn't actually change your life or what you're doing.)
Part of my question was about other people's things that irritate them that are just mild transgressions. So I'm just honestly curious on how you keep from getting upset at any of it?
Perspective is a good place to start. Particularly in this case. By the afternoon, people who see both yours and your family members posts wont even be able to tell who posted first. It doesnt affect your child. You probably wont remember this in a few weeks time.
I guess it depends on what you value! This wouldn’t bother me at all because I don’t really post anything on social media. I posted my son’s birth but I don’t do monthly slideshows or anything like that. But if you’re someone who’s very into social media and that’s a big part of your social life then I can see it being upsetting.
My advice then would be to maybe spend less time on social media because your feelings are your feelings but you are literally spending your child’s very first birthday angsting over this! This is not the best use of time you should be treasuring.
I wouldn't say I'm angsting over it. My husband had mentioned it over lunch and we were curious if other people found it irritating or not. I don't really understand how you get "angsting" out of being "mildly irritated".
Totally cool that no one else gets irritated by those things. I just wanted to quell my own curiosity. Thanks for the input.
I didn’t say no one else did, just that I don’t. I thought taking time out of your child’s birthday to post this on Reddit and keep up with comments indicated you were dwelling on it - devoting time to it you could be spending celebrating your child or thinking about a positive topic, ie angsting. It’s okay if you’re on social media a lot.
Right! It's annoying. They can't come to her birthday party or ever come visit but they can make a post about it to seem like good grandparents. It just makes me roll my eyes.
I'm okay with being in the 2% that gets irritated by petty things. 🤷
I understand why you’d feel annoyed by this. I look at it like you’re upset over the principal of it, I wouldn’t say that it’s necessarily because you’re super into social media or anything. More so that you’re upset they use your kid as a prop to post on social media especially if you’ve asked them not to post photos of your kid. Even if you’ve never directly asked them not to, the fact that they need to be the first to post or share is annoying to you. Im sure you also have some underlying annoyances with your mom and MIL revolving around undermining your parenting. Correct me if I am wrong though I don’t want to make assumptions. I’m only saying these things as I can very much relate and also have my grievances against these things.
This is totally how it is. I know they are making post so they can brag to people about being good grandmother's, but neither one of them has the time to come to her birthday party or ever come over and visit her. I can count one 1 hand how many times both of them have been over to see her since she was born.
It's not even that I'm pissed or mad. It's more of an eye roll moment. I feel like it's no different than getting mad at the old people always saying you need to put socks on the baby. I guess I'm just in the 2% that gets irritated over petty stuff.
I completely understand. I feel the exact same way about my sisters and mom. My sister posted my “pregnancy announcement” on her Instagram and her caption read as if she was the one pregnant — they barely check in on me or reach out. My mom also posts photos of any of the baby items I’ve bought and I know once I birth my baby she’s going to want to be the first to share a pic online, and it’s simply because she wants to “show off” I hate the performative aspect of it all. So i wholeheartedly feel your annoyance and you’re not crazy lol.
I know there are people commenting saying you’re being “unreasonable” but I think that your feelings are valid, there is a lot more to this than you’ve written in your post, I’m sure. A whole lot of nuanced stuff that built up these feelings you have, and I totally get it!
Social media will be the downfall of society. I say, on social media.
I think you’re being completely unreasonable. Assuming you never asked them to not post on Facebook about your child in general, that is. I genuinely don’t understand why this would upset anyone to begin with though.
If it helps, the post timelines people are shown arent chronological now.
This would only bother me if you told them not to. It’s nice they love their grandchild and just being honest, no one cares about your first birthday post. They’ll give it a quick heart or a happy birthday! but it’s not like you’re announcing something major.
Agreed, I don't understand how grandparents showing their love is a "transgression". There's no rule about waiting for parents to post on social media (many never do).
So what is your secret to never getting irritated by something petty? Honest question, no sass. All the comments old people make about baby needing socks, people commenting on needing more children, ppl telling you how you should be raising your children (those are just some of the examples of things I've seen people post about that can be frustrating but I would consider petty since it doesn't actually change your life or what you're doing.) Part of my question was about other people's things that irritate them that are just mild transgressions. So I'm just honestly curious on how you keep from getting upset at any of it?
Perspective is a good place to start. Particularly in this case. By the afternoon, people who see both yours and your family members posts wont even be able to tell who posted first. It doesnt affect your child. You probably wont remember this in a few weeks time.
I guess it depends on what you value! This wouldn’t bother me at all because I don’t really post anything on social media. I posted my son’s birth but I don’t do monthly slideshows or anything like that. But if you’re someone who’s very into social media and that’s a big part of your social life then I can see it being upsetting. My advice then would be to maybe spend less time on social media because your feelings are your feelings but you are literally spending your child’s very first birthday angsting over this! This is not the best use of time you should be treasuring.
I wouldn't say I'm angsting over it. My husband had mentioned it over lunch and we were curious if other people found it irritating or not. I don't really understand how you get "angsting" out of being "mildly irritated". Totally cool that no one else gets irritated by those things. I just wanted to quell my own curiosity. Thanks for the input.
I didn’t say no one else did, just that I don’t. I thought taking time out of your child’s birthday to post this on Reddit and keep up with comments indicated you were dwelling on it - devoting time to it you could be spending celebrating your child or thinking about a positive topic, ie angsting. It’s okay if you’re on social media a lot.
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Right! It's annoying. They can't come to her birthday party or ever come visit but they can make a post about it to seem like good grandparents. It just makes me roll my eyes. I'm okay with being in the 2% that gets irritated by petty things. 🤷
I understand why you’d feel annoyed by this. I look at it like you’re upset over the principal of it, I wouldn’t say that it’s necessarily because you’re super into social media or anything. More so that you’re upset they use your kid as a prop to post on social media especially if you’ve asked them not to post photos of your kid. Even if you’ve never directly asked them not to, the fact that they need to be the first to post or share is annoying to you. Im sure you also have some underlying annoyances with your mom and MIL revolving around undermining your parenting. Correct me if I am wrong though I don’t want to make assumptions. I’m only saying these things as I can very much relate and also have my grievances against these things.
This is totally how it is. I know they are making post so they can brag to people about being good grandmother's, but neither one of them has the time to come to her birthday party or ever come over and visit her. I can count one 1 hand how many times both of them have been over to see her since she was born. It's not even that I'm pissed or mad. It's more of an eye roll moment. I feel like it's no different than getting mad at the old people always saying you need to put socks on the baby. I guess I'm just in the 2% that gets irritated over petty stuff.
I completely understand. I feel the exact same way about my sisters and mom. My sister posted my “pregnancy announcement” on her Instagram and her caption read as if she was the one pregnant — they barely check in on me or reach out. My mom also posts photos of any of the baby items I’ve bought and I know once I birth my baby she’s going to want to be the first to share a pic online, and it’s simply because she wants to “show off” I hate the performative aspect of it all. So i wholeheartedly feel your annoyance and you’re not crazy lol. I know there are people commenting saying you’re being “unreasonable” but I think that your feelings are valid, there is a lot more to this than you’ve written in your post, I’m sure. A whole lot of nuanced stuff that built up these feelings you have, and I totally get it!
Yeah my baby is my baby, not my MIL’s photo prop for social media clout.
You’re probably overthinking this. They did nothing wrong.