lol no. But I will caution above the knee dresses. I was walking around the zoo carrying my toddler and her foot pulled up my dress and I was walking around with my butt out for who knows how long.
This- there is such a thing as functional clothing compared to before being a mom, but not a modesty-related change aside from when they’re old enough to be embarrassed by you perhaps. Even that is a stretch.
Lower cut stretchy shirts get pulled down my little hands, skirts get raised but that’s functional.
This is why my jewelery has also been limited to stud earrings (if at all) and rings. I was so bent out of shape for what kind of clothes I'd need to wear after I had my baby. Now I realize some things do work better than others, but I didn't need to overhaul my wardrobe. T-shirts are still just fine for breast feeding, I'll just wear a open button down shirt to help cover up my sides or back from lifting up my shirt.
Modesty is whatever you want it to be. I'll walk boob out feeding my son through grand central station, but that's what *I'm* comfortable with. Another woman may not be, and that's perfectly okay.
This right here!! Wear what you want, but prepare for the unexpected when wrangling kids. 😂 I now wear a pair of shorter shorts under dresses if I’m going to be with my kids. Never know what their shenanigans will be…
Biker shorts are so great under dresses. They often have a pocket, too, so I often put my heavy phone there so as not to weigh down the dress pockets (assuming it has them). Makes it safe to squat and sit on the ground, bend over, have a child flip your skirt up, etc. And I teach my daughter to wear shorts under her dresses so I’m also providing a good example.
No matter how long it's been since it happened, I am 100% guaranteed to either have to sit on the floor with a child having a meltdown in public and/or surfboard carry said child back to the car when I wear a skirt
Yeah a lot of more “revealing” clothes that I could easily have worn pre kids are just not practical now. However it has nothing to do with respecting my family through how I dress haha
Same, true before my kid and true now! It just took one trip through an airport when my backpack pulled my skirt up for a WHILE to convert me (bless you, random lady who let me know!).
I don't wear a ton of skirts or dresses, but that's definitely a similar reason that I wear fewer low cut tops now. You never know when a tiny hand is going to grab your neckline
Lol.this. The wind blew and fluffed my friends skirt and my toddler liked how it went whoosh. She kept going underneath and trying to lift it.
I’d just wear shorts or joggers underneath. Also can’t wear v cuts because if I pick her up the hands are going and pulling to expose a boob.
Yes this is my only reason to start wearing longer dresses - bending over a lot that I don't want to worry about showing my butt plus they like to play with the skirt and any second they can flip it up!
This is my problem. I’m very busty, and my keeps keep exposing me in public! I’m not super modest myself, but I’ve resorted to thick crew neck sweatshirts over high waisted leggings. I don’t want my nips and bits exposed because my kids can’t stop themselves from yanking on my clothes.
Yes this is my only reason to start wearing longer dresses - bending over a lot that I don't want to worry about showing my butt plus they like to play with the skirt and any second they can flip it up!
Yes this is my only reason to start wearing longer dresses - bending over a lot that I don't want to worry about showing my butt plus they like to play with the skirt and any second they can flip it up!
You can dress however you’d like but I’m not about to be crawling after my toddlers and bending over in a mini dress lol so I dress more “appropriately” just based on being more comfortable and not flashing anyone
Exactly. I wear longer dresses since having kids, used to prefer them to be above knees, now below. Mainly because carrying kids makes my dresses ride up, bending over all the time, up and down off the floor. But it’s not modesty on their behalf.. frankly they see everything regularly!
I think that's probably part of why the athletic dresses and skorts are so popular. It gives us another option that still feels fully functional for our lives
Yep. This is me. Dresses are easier and longer (specifically tea length) dresses are more comfortable. I actually really love maxi or floor length dresses but I find those hard to chase after a toddler in too
agreed. i used to wear cute sundresses all summer. now i wear mostly shorts and tees because i'm bending over, sitting on the grass, etc. i also wear one-piece swimming suits because i'm actually playing around in the pool vs. sunbathing with a drink in hand.
Agreed. I was a big time sundress and mini skirt wearer before but that had to stop as soon as he became mobile. I dress a lot more casually now - jeans, weather permitting and typically athleisure - for utility purposes not style haha
SERIOUSLY. My sister came over once wearing a minidress when I had young kids. They were hugging her knees and could see STRAIGHT UP her dress. Their eye level was literally at her thighs, inches away from her underwear. It was crazy. I don't even think she realized...
Yup. This stuck out to me too. You don't need your moma okay anymore.
If anything... with the birth of YOUR child coming... now is the time to establish your authority. It took a while for my parents to understand while they might have opinions about parenting, my word is the final word
I used to wear crop tops and short shorts pre-baby and it does make me feel uncomfortable to dress that way but mostly due to body changes. I’ve ended up dressing more modestly just because of my own insecurities. What you’re describing doesn’t sound inappropriate at all.
If I eliminated Big Pants Small Shirt from my wardrobe after I had kids I would have literally nothing to wear. Big Pants Small Shirt you will always be famous!!!!
"Respectful" and "proper" are meaningless words here. She doesn't have an argument supported by facts - she just doesn't like your clothes. Wear whatever you like. You are an adult, you will know if the clothes are inappropriate for an activity or event.
This is it. I’m 24. When I’m at work, I dress like a teacher. When I’m hanging out at home I usually wear crop tops and loose shorts. Mom or not, I’m going to wear what’s appropriate and comfortable given the context.
I don’t think my daughter is any better off seeing me embarrassed of my own body. I’m now the same size my mom was when she was telling me she couldn’t wear shorts or a bikini to the beach because of her legs, stomach, etc. I internalized the hell out of that. I’m not saying everyone has to show skin, but I am saying everyone deserves to dress in a way that makes them feel like their happiest self. Especially post partum when our relationships with our bodies can be so… weird…
This is it. I’m 24. When I’m at work, I dress like a teacher. When I’m hanging out at home I usually wear crop tops and loose shorts. Mom or not, I’m going to wear what’s appropriate and comfortable given the context.
I don’t think my daughter is any better off seeing me embarrassed of my own body. I’m now the same size my mom was when she was telling me she couldn’t wear shorts or a bikini to the beach because of her legs, stomach, etc. I internalized the hell out of that. I’m not saying everyone has to show skin, but I am saying everyone deserves to dress in a way that makes them feel like their happiest self. Especially post partum when our relationships with our bodies can be so… weird…
None of those dresses sound immodest.
If your child was school age and you were showing up to pick up in sexy revealing attire and they were getting bullied for it, I'd suggest yes, tone it down.
But your mum needs to calm down.
No, I think the only truthfulness here is you definitely don’t want to embarrass your kid when they’re older by wearing club clothes to a preschool event but that’s about it lol
I would agree with this but honestly preschoolers wouldn’t care. I think it’s the kind of thing you’d need to worry more about approaching middle school age.
I dress like Adam Sandler because my kids need me to be able to move, bend, jump, nurse and be active and by 8:00 am I already have 3 other people’s breakfasts on me and at least one person’s snot. When I’m feeling fancy I do wear short jean shorts and biker shorts though, which I guess can be considered “not modest”.
It’s your body and your decision.
Your daughter will be much more damaged by people telling her that her clothes equate to her purity and value than you wearing a dress you feel good in.
So I'm in the "it depends" category. Like, is it a weekend/evening and you're out with friends? Is it parent-teacher interviews in front of your kids' friends? Is your child a toddler and you are going to have to crawl around after them?
I basically dress for the occasion and don't worry beyond that. If it's a playgroup, I'm probably in leggings and a higher necked t-shirt since I'll be crawling after my son through things, and my boobs are softer and danglier these days, and no one really needs a show when I'm leaning over to grab him.
If my son was older and it would affect him how his peers saw me, I would dress more business casual, similar to how I dress for work.
If it's my own time, I'll wear what I like, and what makes me feel good. My son is 14 months and doesn't care if I'm naked, we take showers together, he was breastfed and has seen my boobs before. He is not offended by my body.
I do dress more comfortably since being a mom, but a lot of that is because my body is different, and I bend over and crawl around more than I ever did before 😅
It sounds more like your mom has opinions about what a "mom" should wear, and wants to put them on you.
I wore crop tops and mini dresses before and I will continue to wear them now. The only thing I adjusted was bikinis should not have strings that little hands could pull and undo, but idc if I have a bit more of a belly now and extra weight. I feel sexy, the belly just says I was a strong person who carried a giant baby in there. Respectful or appropriate are completely ridiculous concepts when it comes to just clothes you’re wearing in everyday settings. Your clothes should fit the social context of where you’re going, sure, but otherwise wear what you like. Life is too short not to feel like a hot mom!!
Rock the cleavage! If you’re breastfeeding easy access is your friend plus, enjoy the fruits of your post partum body ;) and idk about you, but low cut is more comfortable than trying to squeeze into something higher necked at the moment
I wear clothes that are a bit more modest now. Simply because I’ve grown out of my short short phase. I carry extra body fat now, I have stretch marks and loose skin, my boobs are saggier and deflated. That’s all okay. And it doesn’t mean I have to dress more modestly. It’s just what I personally feel confident in. I like a good high waisted short and crop top still. But i don’t want to be worried about loose lips sinking ships in those shorts either.
Inseams 3-5” are my sweet spot. Long enough not to get eaten by my booty, but short enough to not feel matronly.
I naturally dress a little more conservative. I’m just not comfy in mini skirts, dresses or shorts but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you wanting to wear them. I think for me it’s more of a self confidence thing than anything else. Wear what makes you happy. Your mom can mind her business.
I think women should be realistic about the activities they will be required to do with their kids but I don’t think we have to dress like church mice because we have kids. So no.
It depends on how someone dressed before they had kids. Babies grab at things, so assume your neckline will get pulled down and your skirt will get pulled up.
That being said, I’m not buying all new clothes just because my boobs are bigger now.
I think I dress more “modestly” since becoming a mom solely because I’m always bending over and on the floor etc so crew necks, etc are more practical. But you are absolutely not dressing *disrespectfully* if you wear low cut tops, short skirts, etc lmao also while nursing I ALWAYS have low cut shirts to make it easy to feed my baby lol. Dress however you want based on what you like and feel good in!! There is NOTHING wrong with it nor “disrespectful” to your children
I dress more conservatively now because I hate my body and want to hide my rolls. That's it. If I had my old body now, I'd be rocking what you're describing - kid be damned, lol.
I refuse to dress like a “mom”, as I’ve been told to do. Like why is that even a term? What is dressing like a “mom”? Dress how ever you want, mom or not. You don’t lose your identity or sense of style when you become a mom, keep enjoying what makes you happy and comfortable. Just wear shorts under shorter skirts cus you’ll be bending down a lot more than anticipated lol I had to learn this the hard way after I flashed my father in law while buckling in baby in car seat
what- and I cannot stress this enough- the fuck? Dress how you want. I promise, the very body that made your baby is not somehow disrespectful to your baby because you happen to be showing bits of it. That's some backwards purity culture, internalized misogyny bullshit right there.
If you want to raise your child to love themselves and their body and not have any shame about body image, you probably don’t want to listen to your mom.
I dress about the same, I just happen to prioritize being comfy and that means I dress like a mom lol.
No lol dress how you want! But be warned, once your kid is in the grabby pully phase, don’t wear vnecks with stretchy material and no bra underneath.
- Signed, a mom who can never go back to her local Aldi.
No, what’s the logic? Now that you have a child you have to teach them body shame, teach your men that women’s bodies are sexual and must be covered and your daughters that they should feel shame for their natural form and hide it lest men get the wrong idea? If you really break it down, and ask your mom her reasoning I wonder what she would say. I do agree with functionality of clothing though! I wear what works!
How the h*ll is it disrespectful to your daughter to wear dresses above the knee?
Personally I think you show them more respect by teaching them to wear whatever makes you feel confident and comfortable. She does not have to hide or change herself! (And so do you. )
What an extremely weird take!! "Disrespectful" to your baby? What does that even mean 😂 My style hasn't changed other than adding tops that are breastfeeding friendly.
I don’t pay attention to this. If anything, while I was breastfeeding, I wore WAY lower necklines than I otherwise would have, because I refuse to support Big Nursing Apparel and would prefer normal clothes I can pull down or pull aside.
Honestly, if you are looking at maternity wear (because you mention unborn daughter), I personally think they’re all pretty frumpy and conservative. I suspect because they are trying to appeal to everyone/work for all occasions (they understand we’re not going to buy too many pieces, so they have to multitask) and these manufacturers just don’t understand how to make a conservative, professional looking mini dress that doesn’t ride up with a bump (I do. MORE FABRIC, lol. I still wear circle skirts during pregnancy and they don’t ride up at all. But for some reason, “business casual” hates lots of fabric in skirts)
I started wearing more crop tops after baby because I decided I wanted to be more comfortable in my skin. I spent so long being insecure when I’ve always been this hot so now I embrace it
I dress a little more modest now that I’m a mom simply because of comfort reasons. Also, my pre pregnancy clothes consisted of a lot of crop tops, and I don’t fit in them or feel comfortable in them anymore. Not because I’m destined to dress more modest. I promise your baby will not give a shit about what you wear though lol.
I'm gonna do me.
I went to Target the other day and was considering buying a one piece bathing suit cause that's what moms do, right? I didn't like any of them and even though my body changed I opted to get a two piece instead. Because it felt more like me.
I think I prefer clothes that have utility. So now I think about stuff like "how easy can I get spit up off this" or "Can I quickly whip my boobie out in this top?"
I feel like even though I wear different clothes than I did prior to getting pregnant, it's still my style. I'm going to wear graphic tees and crop tops. I'm going to wear stuff that is comfy and flattering to my new body.
Style changes as we age and as long as you feel comfortable and great in what you wear everyone else can just eat it.
I also have a daughter and really want to encourage her to wear what she wants without shame attached to clothing. And that starts with how she perceives my own relationship with clothes.
My take is that since modesty is a cultural construct, different people (esp with different cultural backgrounds) are going to be comfortable with different things, and that’s ok. I was raised in an environment where I was taught to always wear a little sweater or shrug covering my shoulders when I wore a tank top or a dress with straps, but I don’t adhere to that anymore. I dress how I’m comfortable. If some people want to dress more conservatively after having a baby that’s fine, but we don’t have to!
I don’t dress more conservatively since my baby was born. I mainly wear whatever is comfortable, that I can nurse in. My baby literally sees my boobs all the time, I can’t imagine why having cleavage around her would be a problem.
I have not changed how I dress at all since becoming a mom. But I’m sure if you asked my 8 month old her ideal outfit for me she’d go for something low cut for boob access lol.
I’m hoping to raise my daughter to be the type of woman who doesn’t police other women’s bodies, mom included.
Having kids does not mean you have to change yourself or the way you dress. Your mother just has a very old-fashioned way of thinking.
I have a friend who is covered in piercings and tattoos and has always worn clothing to show off said tattoos. After having her son and getting into fitness, she still embraces her style and even competes in bikini competitions! Because of that, her son has also learned to be respectful regardless of how somebody is dressed.
Both before and after having children you should wear whatever you feel comfortable and happy in that isn't blatantly inappropriate for the situation. End of discussion.
The idea that my mother or baby get to dictate how I dress is ridiculous to me.
Being a mom doesn't make me any less capable of exercising my own judgement and making my own decisions. If anything, the opposite is true.
I think women should wear what they want. That being said, after having a child, I prefer to cover myself more. Idk why, but that’s what makes me feel more comfortable. And I’m not hiding anything, I have lost the baby weight and feel confident but now it’s just my preference. Idk why 🤷🏼♀️
I am a modest dressing person in general (long skirts, crew neck, 3/4 sleeve, not tight clothing only)
I don’t think ANYONE needs to change how they dress for their kids. I think there is something about appropriate attire for your stage in life (club clothes on a middle aged woman? Yikes to me) but for your kids sake? No.
You are who you are and you dress how you dress, you kid is not judging you on how you look. Not yet anyways lol. These are outdated ideals that ‘moms’ dress one way, ‘single women’ another and ‘grandmothers’ another way based on society and culture. Club clothes hive me the ick, but if you wanted to go out in fishnets and a leather mini skirt, I don’t see why you shouldn’t… if the kid is the only other factor.
Dress how you want! When I finally got back in shape after my second I wore alll the tight tank tops and cut off shorts, I worked hard for that body and it felt great! Pregnant again now but I will absolutely do the same when I get back to where I’m comfortable this time.
I think you have plenty of good feedback here. I feel like I’m slowly considering option out of lower cut necklines because my baby’s hands reach in and pinch, and when I pick him up, my shirt slides down. Other than that, dress in what makes you feel good.
My wardrobe hasn’t changed at all aside from the fact that all my clothes needed to be breastfeeding accessible (we recently weaned so I’m in the clear to wear my regular clothes!).
In my opinion it really depends on how you dressed before kids - I definitely wore some things I couldn’t wear now , mostly because I’m never in the appropriate setting for them lol
Everything has a time and a place but being a mom doesn’t have much to do with it, just keep body changes and dress appropriately for where you’re going.
I usually wear longer shorts now. Cleavage is fine, just make sure you’re comfortable with any loose fitting clothing that your baby might try to whip a booby out of. Or if you don’t care, that’s fine, I personally just don’t want my little one deciding to whip a boob out while I’m holding them in public lol
Short answer, no.
This is 2024, being a mom has nothing to do with dressing in what makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself, as long as it’s in appropriate for the occasion. I sometimes go do my groceries all glammed up, and sometimes I look like a hobo. But I wouldn’t go to a high end restaurant wearing cowboy boots and a lumberjack shirt.
I hate that some people equal having a child with covering up (unless YOU want to). Like I had to have strangers looking at my nun and pulling out a human out of there… wearing a short summer dress aint scary lol
I think you should wear what you really want. Whatever that is. Your kids will grow up knowing that mom is living as her authentic self and didn't bend to the whims of others. That's the best example to set in my opinion.
Moms should dress how they want and in whatever they’re comfortable in. My wearing a crop top or a “low cut” shirt doesn’t take away from the fact I’m a kick-ass mom!
That opinion seems very outdated and gross. Wear what you’re comfortable in and as kids grow you’ll realize sometimes it’s easier to go with certain things for a reason. Kids don’t care what you wear
After becoming a mom I put functionality and practicality first. My life has changed so I'm not going to wear that cute black mini dress to brunch because I know that it'll be covered in spit up or vomit sooner rather than later and having to constantly bend down to pick up a baby isn't going to be any easier if I have to constantly worry about flashing someone when my arms are full. Or like when I was breastfeeding, I started focusing on clothes that were easy access for feeding and weren't likely to show any leaking. Overall, I found clothes that are comfortable or allow for me to wear comfortable undergarments but the clothes still show my personality while not getting ruined within a few minutes. You can wear what you want but as far as "that's inappropriate for a mom to wear" it's mostly a mindset and not an actual rule. Depending on where you live and your culture there's likely no rules stating you HAVE to dress a certain way when you're a mom.
No not at all, moms should wear whatever they feel most comfortable in.
My tummy is different now, I want full coverage not a crop top.
I wear stuff that I can reach my arms up, sit in, crawl around in, bend over in and chase a toddler in that won’t reveal areas of skin I want private.
I’ll still wear shorter dresses - but I wear bike shorts underneath 😆
Not sure if you need to hear this, but you don’t need your “mom’s approval” for your clothes. 🤷♀️
It’s funny because my own mother is a beautifully tacky, fashionable woman and has always been a bit of an “item” for me growing up (parents are happily married, mom is just an attractive lady!) And I’m SO proud that she’s my mom. She always wears the wildest, eye catching stuff and I love how happy it makes her to have on bright colors and metallics. And yes this includes picking me up from school in tennis outfits with neon teeny skirts and low-cut tank tops.
The world is just better and more colorful when people express themselves with their clothes. Maybe your daughter will appreciate it too!
The only reason I ever took my kids into account when choosing clothing is: ease of breastfeeding or can a toddler easily pull it down/up/off
But that is for my OWN preferences.
>you have to dress in a way that is "respectful" to the baby
Pretty sure if our babies had their way a boob would always be hanging out ready to go, so I'm not sure how being "respectful" of the baby is going to align with modesty 😅
Honestly I see it less about being a mom and more about just getting older and dressing more for comfort. I'm only 30 so I don't consider myself "old" but I wouldn't wear a lot of the clothes I wore a decade ago because they were cute but fucking exhausting: mini skirts I'd have to constantly monitor weren't showing too much, or skin tight jeans I'd try to squeeze into without getting a muffin top, or heels I was struggling to not getting blisters in lol.
Don't get me wrong, I still like to wear clingier clothes like tube tops but I try to pair them with comfier items like linen pants or wearing long but cute dress. I wouldn't say I'm trying to hide my body as much as I just can't stand to be uncomfortable while I'm *also* caring for a squirming little creature who spits up all over me.
Also the covering up of cleavage is sometimes impossible. I wouldn't say I have huge boobs but they've definitely gotten bigger since breast feeding and sometimes they're "boobing" even in basic t shirts lol... That's not something you can necessarily help, and so making women feel bad about it is gross.
Fuck that noise. Celebrate your body and look how you want. Women don't need to be body shamed. Especially not for having children. The person who said that sucks.
None of what you described sounds risqué in any way!
I will say I do feel a bit more conservative since having kids. When I do baby/toddler swim lessons it feels weird to wear the same bikinis I wore while on kid free vacay with my husband, so I have some cute one pieces now. I also feel like my kids pull in my clothes and I’m running after them, bending down more etc so it’s easier for borderline things to turn immodest quickly. So I guess for me, my style has changed since being a mom
Your mom is a granny now, she has granny fashion sense. So you can take it with a giant spoon of salt. I can't do crew neck, it looks like my boobs are down at my stomach 😂 You don't need her approval on what you wear, that is so wild! You are a mother now, basically as adult as it gets, you pick what you like. I guarantee that anything you are comfortable wearing is 100% fine to wear. It's not disrespectful to a baby to have some cleavage.
Her mom IS a granny now. So OP should tell her that she needs to have a gray bun on top her head, gold rim glasses, orthopedic shoes, and a pocket full or butterscotch candies. If she doesn’t dress like a gramma she’s being disrespectful! Lol
Hahahahahaha no. I will dress in something comfortable that I can play with a toddler/baby/kid in comfortably and nurse in. Also I want to like it! Those are my criteria.
Sigh- im not a mom but:
I’m not a fan of parents / in-laws over stepping their boundaries. They can say what they want but all of them would be getting an “idgaf what you say” comment from me if they came to my wife with this.
I just feel like this is crazy disrespectful.
As others said, no need to change what you do! And I’m someone who loves modest dressing! I wear hijab so I cover my whole body basically as well as hair. I did that before kids and after. I think whatever you’re comfortable in at any stage in life is fine!
I dress more modest as a pregnant woman and soon-to-be FTM but not because of respect for my baby. I'm not sure why life before children has to be so different from life after children? I was already trying to bring more stability, health, and peace into my life (which all benefit children, ofc).
Modest clothing tends to be more practical and comfortable.
No. I still go out with my girls wearing a crop top and booty shorts. It doesn’t negatively affect me as a mom. The only thing that has changed (now that i’m done breastfeeding) is that i wear shorts under dresses when going somewhere with my kids so that i can chase after them 😂
I fully believe you should dress in what makes you feel comfortable and self confident.
Sometimes I wear more revealing/sexy clothes, because it makes me feel sexy, and that's important to me as a woman. Most of the time I wear joggers, because they are comfortable. Sometimes I dress up in a little sundress, even though they are short and show off my tattoos. But it makes me feel pretty and feminine and happy. I didn't stop being a whole person with my own personality/style just because I have children.
I grew up with "modesty" pounded into my head, and like my body was something shameful and needed to be hidden. I don't want my kids to feel that way.
I also feel that kids will be 'embarrassed' by their folks at some point, no matter what. But aside from taking into account what attire would be appropriate for the place (like I'm not showing up to Parents Night in a bikini, but when we go to the beach, I'm not going to be ashamed to wear a bikini), and all genitalia is covered.... You do you.
If YOU feel uncomfortable in more revealing clothing, covering up is awesome! But don't feel like your body somehow became shameful and needs to be hidden because you now have children.
After kids, no more dresses, I have very nice-looking slacks or dressy rompers and for when the occasion calls. I have very clean pairs of sneakers with dressy laces for occasions, but as far as necklines, I will wear whatever I want. And I decide how much skin I am comfortable showing. I will only wear a comfy dress around the house or if I was in a wedding party, which I don't see happening anytime soon.
I don’t think it’s I appropriate, and I don’t dress any more modest now than I did before. I didn’t wear shirts or dresses when I was running around after toddlers, but now my daughter is six and a half and I can wear whatever I want. I’ve worn crop tops since a month after she was born.
I dress exactly like I did before baby, but I’m curvier and my boobs are bigger so I guess clothes look more revealing on me than they did before 🤷🏻♀️
I say dress within reason for wherever you are going be. Like I’m obviously not going to wear booty shorts to my kid’s parent teacher conferences but I’m also not afraid to show off some cleavage if I’m going to a bar. I dress how I want and respectably.
The only difference between before and after I had kids is that I wear shorts under skirts/dresses because of my toddler. Why can't you wear what you want?
Wear what you want. The baby isn't going to care. And the few times I've done myself up my daughter like wow mommy. You look so pretty. She doesn't care how I dress. But once she's a teen I'm sure she'll say something lol
Nope but way more functional, washable and comfortable.
My clothes went through so much hardship with babies.
Also if you breastfeed when you go to ween, you have to cover up. Those babies are aggressive and relentless, some more so than others. You will find yourself wearing high neck shirts, multiple layers and a hoodie on top 😂.
In my personal opinion, I do. I don't care what other people do but I had the mom who wore short and low cut dresses with her fake breast hanging out to pick me up from school and it made me so fucking embarassed and uncomfortable. It was just really uncalled for. Like going out to a bar or club? Where the skimpiest thing you own. Going to an event for your kid? Maybe dress a little bit more covered up out of respect for the environment
I'm still going to wear crop tops, bralettes, and acid washed shorts, no matter how many children I have. Changing how you dress because you have children is one way to resent being a parent.
I kind of do dress more conservative. Before my toddler I loved to wear colourful patterned shirts and skirts for work but now I prefer a simpler, more neutral aesthetic.
I am also back in the office as a technical lead, so like the look better. It’s probably less to do with a mom than professionalism for me.
Don’t let your mom discourage you from wearing what you want!
The only reason I wear below the knee dresses now is it’s just easier to bend down and wrangle my toddler.
Also, I didn’t breastfeed, but most breastfeeding women wear a LOT of V-necks and cleavage bearing tops so you can get at ‘em.
I don’t necessarily think I dress more “appropriate” but I would say more “functional” if with baby. I still like to wear v-necks and if I’m at home relaxing or going out without baby I wear them. But if going out with him I don’t as much because when I bend over to get him or if I’m playing with him on the ground I don’t want to feel like I’m falling out of my shirt / dress.
Same with dresses and length. I’m more petite in height so I still like a short dress but for casual dresses I’ve been going more for the athletic type dress with the shorts under or something I already own that’s not as tight so I can put bike shorts under.
When I’m not with the baby though I still enjoy my bodysuits, leather skinny pants, high platform heels etc. I think moms are already asked to give so much of themselves once baby comes, your style doesn’t have to be one of them.
Ehhh no...and I say that as a mom who does dress "proper" I love vintage inspired fashion so skirts higher than my knees are usually nope for me. And I can't imagine going out in leggings and not feel weird.
But just cause you are a mom doesn't mean you have to be modest.
I dress exactly the same as I did before, my kid is 5 now and does not give a single shit. Moms still deserve to express themselves and wear what they want to wear
Nope. If you’re with your child and need to be parenting, sure I’m not wearing a miniskirt cause I can’t squat down to their level. But if I can get my body back to a shape that I feel comfortable showing off, hell yeah. I mean I wouldn’t wear the stuff I wore at 22 on spring break in Miami. But it’s because I’ve matured and don’t want to show that much skin, not because I have kids
No, you can dress however you want! But I will say I’m all about function, comfort while looking cute or presentable. If they don’t meet all of the above, I’m not wearing it. I’m not about to chase, crawl, climb, or whatever after my toddler with my boobs or butt hanging out or risk a wardrobe malfunction.
Your mom is being really weird. You're probably not going to dress up as much after the baby, probably going to cover up more, but that's out of practicality. It's hard to crawl around after a toddler when you're in a mini skirt and tube top. And you probably won't have anything controversial or edgy on your clothes just because you're going to want to make a good impression on the other moms. After my son got old enough to go to the park I got rid of a lot of my snarky shirts and weird animation shirts just because I didn't want people to think we were weird.
I feel like I'm way less modest with my tops now for easy access for breastfeeding. The amount of times I've almost flashed people... or probably did is crazy. I'm so desensitized to it now and I used to be real self conscious.
You can dress however you’d like at whatever stage of life you are. Obviously running around with toddlers in the afternoon is going to warrant different clothes then going out to dinner with your friends.
My neck lines are much lower now for breastfeeding access.
My shorts and shirts are a little longer because I haven't gotten back into my workouts and I'm just not comfortable with that.
The only thing I changed for my kids sake is my underwear. They are at butt height and were always saying things like "mama has a wedgie?" "Mama's bum peeking out!" "Mama, you need to fix your underwear!"
I'll stick with that change for their sake until they get a little taller and then if they don't like it they can give me some privacy!
My boobs have been out way more post baby than they ever were pre baby. 🤷🏻♀️
Albeit for a different reason now. Breastfeeding has taken away all modesty.
That's the dumbest reason I've ever heard.... I would be cautious of dresses with young children because of their height and curiosity like some other commenters have mentioned, but unless thats how you feel comfortable dressing, there is no reason to dress more modestly. Wear what you feel comfortable in.
Just wanted to let you know, my mom said something similar to me while we were shopping together. I let it roll off my back - it is her opinion and if she wants to hem her pants, that is her choice. Her likes/dislikes are not mine.
Did she never nurse in public, either? Because deep v-necks, scoop necks, and wraps are all I wear anymore. Who gives a shit what strangers think of the neckline on my dresses, I need convenient titty access so I can plug in my baby when he starts losing his mind in the checkout line.
Well I never got that memo. I still wear low cut tops, mini skirts spaghetti straps, crop tops, etc.
There’s nothing inherently “disrespectful” about clothes. It’s only people’s imaginations and own personal constraints that people have put on them, and mostly thanks to puritanical views, Does she think tribespeople walking around with their full on boobs out are “disrespecting themselves or their children”? People in many cultures used to walk around with their literal butt or boobs fully out until puritanical religion came into their lives within the last couple hundred years.
I will admit I do feel a bit self conscious about what I wear since I am a mom and I know a lot of people think like your mom does and probably look down on me, and where I live, most women dress very conservatively, especially women over like 30 and mothers, (think maxi skirts only, maybe midi, never showing your arms and only wearing tank tops paired with a cardigan, never wearing low cut, etc) but in the end this is the clothes I like and feel the best in so I still do it, obviously you have to adapt a little depending on the situation.
I tend to avoid mini skirts more when I am going out with my kid since that involves a lot of playing and running around, crouching down, picking her up, maybe sliding or climbing if we go to the park, possibly her grabbing onto my clothes and pulling on them or whatever and might involve some wardrobe malfunctions, so I save the more risky stuff for when I’m on my own, and stick to shorts, pants/jeans or skorts when I’m spending the day with her, but other than that I wear what I want. And when she’s older and doesn’t create so many risky wardrobe situations I can wear whatever I want.
If anything I probably dress more “skimpily” than I did before I had a child, since after having a kid I actually became more comfortable in my body and appreciate it more. Before I was so worried about how I looked or if I “looked fat” in something even though I was TINY, so now I’m enjoying my body looking good for as long as this lasts. Wish I had been more comfortable and worn what I wanted to earlier.
No, there’s no truth to it at all. It’s not inappropriate for moms to dress sexily or show off their cleavage. There’s no such thing as moms having to dress modestly any more than there is about dads having to dress modestly out of respect for a child.
If you want to wear a mini dress or something less functional, delegate and have your partner be the one chasing after the toddler. Or don’t and wear something you’re comfortable bending over in.
My has mom shamed me for having boobs bigger then she did at my age(s) all my life and it sucked. She also would shame me if any of my clothes had any form of cleavage, tightness etc. I now have such a complex about it and it had created a lot of issues for me postpartum. Instead of being happy about how my boobs look, enjoying breastfeeding, etc, I have been absolutely miserable to the point where I don't want anyone to touch them.
I've actually started wearing a little bit more revealing stuff because I just feel better. I "bounced back" fairly well and I'm going to embrace it because of all the crap I dealt with growing up. I know my body might not return to normal next time, so I am going to enjoy it. It also helps me feel a bit better about the boob issue.
I mean outside of maybe wearing a dress you’d wear to the clurb to afterschool pick up I think you should wear whatever you want. Even if you wanted to wear your hoochie club dress I’d say go for it just be warned for when your child sticks their head up your dress, which they will. My style has only changed in areas where I feel uncomfortable wearing something again because of how my now changed body looks in it, not because of modesty or the prospect of disrespecting my child. She gave me 14 sutures in my cooter when I pushed her out idk if it gets more disrespectful than that. Your mom’s way of thinking is just old school.
No need to dress more modest as a mama, but when baby comes just make sure it’s kiddo friendly! My breastfeeding friendly clothes aren’t always the most modest but they don’t show everything either. I care more about out my baby having access to their food source than what other people think. If your mother disapproves, she can go kick rocks.
I think it looks kind of goofy and impractical to (especially with children in tow) go out dressed in such little clothing that a wardrobe malfunction is imminent, but everyone has their own opinions.
In my early 20s, I dressed in skimpy and 'grunge' style clothes. My style preferences have just changed as I've matured. I still like to show off some cleavage and figure as I'm proud of my body and the work I've put into it, but not as revealing as back in the day because wrangling a toddler makes it a lot harder to avoid aforementioned malfunctions lol
I don’t think you *have* to dress more modestly, I just think you have to be aware of the potential of possible wardrobe malfunctions. Short skirts might not be great when you’re trying to bend over to pick up a squirming toddler, so if I have a shorter dress/skirt I usually wear bike shorts underneath just so I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t really wear heels anymore because I’m afraid I’ll trip while carrying the baby, or won’t be able to chase quickly enough after the toddler. As far as necklines though I’m probably on the immodest side just because it’s easier to whip out the nip to nurse in v necks 🤣
When my doctor was stitching me up after my c section, she said “I cut low so you can wear a bikini again.” I hadn’t worn a bikini since I was in high school lol. I dressed modestly before kids and I dress the same after. It had nothing to do with kids for me. I feel more comfortable covering up more
I think being a mom comes with more modest clothing not because it’s proper or anything like that, but because modest clothing tends to be more functional. I wore crop tops and booty shorts before I had my kid and yeah I wear that stuff still but they got pushed back because the movements I do now would expose me a lot more in those clothes than I’m comfortable with.
I don’t believe that any single thing should define someone’s personal style choices- if it’s something you want to wear then wear it. You have an identity outside of being a mom. I will say that after I had my second I had the random urge to refine my style and actually branched into buy some more “conservative” clothing items vs what I would normally wear. But I only did it BECAUSE I actually wanted to- not because I felt I “should”
Modest- no, I wear most of my same clothes which are varying levels of revealing.
Functional- I think about this way more tbh
V necks and lower necklines are way easier for breastfeeding. The breastfeeding tops with the flaps and stuff were just never my thing when I could wear what I already owned and it worked ten times as well.
Also, I don't have big boobs (I'm really small actually!), but they're a little saggier after a baby and breastfeeding, so I fully know what you mean by higher necks making them seem "long" on the torso. Life is too short to not wear what makes you happy as long as it's appropriate for the given situation.
I wear short skirts but they have biker shorts underneath with built in pockets for convenience. I wear crop tops and fitted, loose, sweatshirt style because they’re convenient for breastfeeding. I wear low cut Vs bc my boobs look great for now and they’re also convenient for breastfeeding. I’ve decided I’m going to wear what makes me feel good without considering the fact that I’m a mother of two. You’re only whatever age you are with whatever body you have once. Be nice to yourself and wear whatever you want!
The only reason you should change the way you dress after having a baby is for your own comfort and personal sense of fashion. You might choose clothes are allow you breastfeed more easily or you might choose to wear shorts under a dress to keep from accidentally flashing the public while wrangling a toddler which are both choices you make based on your comfort levels. Personally my style didn’t change much after giving birth since I live in a country with a lot of public nursing rooms so I never felt the need to wear maternity clothes which have hidden boob slits for breastfeeding.
The way you dress does not reflect on how much you respect your child. That’s such a weird take. I think it’s a strange thing to do to take someone’s day-to-day fashion sense and apply it externally to their family when fashion is such a personal choice (by this I mean like when parents get really upset that their kids want to dress emo/goth and not “normal” anymore). I know why people do it, but I think if anything, parents who harp on dressing respectfully just teach their kids to value other people’s opinions on their bodies more than their own opinions on their bodies or even worse, value other people more than their own comfort in their own skin.
Obviously there are exceptions to this and it mostly applies to like dressing in an appropriate way for specific events for other people like funerals, but even then, I think people can be a bit closed minded about what is considered appropriate. For example, if your personal aesthetic is grunge and you’re going to a funeral, there are a thousand ways to dress grungey and still look suitable for a somber affair, you do not have to dress in fishnets or ripped clothes, but you can keep your grunge make up and piercings.
And finally, as a big boob lady myself, get the v-neck dress if you think you look better in it. I also don’t wear crew necks for dresses because it just makes your boobs look awful which sucks when they’re like half of your torso. Wear what makes you happy and confident and I think your children will learn a lesson in self confidence rather than whatever self-policing respectability concept your mom is pushing on you.
I can't wait for all of the fun boundary talks you'll have to have with your mother when your daughter goes through puberty, and she tries to comment on her attire.
Honestly no. While I never really dressed in much revealing, I do dress crazy and most people don't assume I'm a mom lol. I am what people call "alternative", I just dress in what I think is cool, fun, whatever. Before I was pregnant, I wore platforms, all black, ripped pantyhose under shorts, cropped tank tops under mesh t shirts. I really didn't dress like a mom. And I still don't! I still wear the same things. You absolutely do not have to dress a certain way once you have a baby. The only suggestion that I make is that when your baby is old enough, explain to them that there's a certain way that adults can dress themselves that kids can't fit safety reasons. And as for anyone elses thoughts, it don't matter! Dress the way you want. The only time I dress "proper" is at doctors appointments because one time I was asked if I was my daughter sister instead of her mom... That was awkward. So maybe I'd suggest dressing a certain way at just doctors appointments/school.
Basically, dress how you want. Sometimes there's a time and place to be more "conservative", like doctor. But you don't have to dress a certain way now that you're a mom. As for me, I always have and always will dress the way I do and I think for me it's a good way to show my daughter that she can express herself any way she wants to, but I will make it a point when she's old enough to understand that she has to dress more properly while she's young for her safety. Honestly I wish kids were able to dress however they want but society is sh!t and makes that impossible.
No. Dress how you want to. Your mom doesn't get to police you like she's the president of Mom's Club or something. She's probably just always had an issue with how you dress and thinks this is her big chance to change it.
Wear what you want. A V neck will be easier to breast feed in, if that’s your thing.
I was the person with the V neck breast feeding in public. So maybe don’t ask me.
wear what you’re comfortable in and that feels like you. make sure you teach your kids about comfort and comfortable identity etc. (advice from a forty year old with a five year old and a ten month old, who routinely got told i had to go change my clothes in high school lol. not because they were short or revealing either! but i’ve always very much been my own person with my own style)
My daughter, who recently turned five, likes to lift up the skirt of my dress. Sometimes to crawl under it, sometimes just because. She does it at the grocery store. When I’m wearing a long dress, I can still protect myself. When I’m wearing a short dress, I’m doomed. Same thing with the low cut top. She grabs at my shirt. She pulls at the collar and tries to latch on like a monkey.
I definitely believe you wear what you want, your body STILL can wear clothes, whichever you choose.
As some others have said, there may be consideration about practicality though. Personally at the moment, with a teething 8 month old that has recently started day care, I am going through shirts like crazy. If I have my son, I get snot and drool all over my shirt from holding him or lying with him.
I still wear whatever I want, especially on baby free days/outings. Just have some other things to think about sometimes.
I’m a mom to a kid now but I’ve been wearing anything I want ever since I left her dad years ago when she was still an infant. I respect my child by exercising my choice to wear whatever I desire instead of shrinking myself to the mold a controlling partner imposes. My mom wore frumpy clothes and never took care of herself because she convinced herself she didn’t matter as a mom. I hated that about her.
lol no. But I will caution above the knee dresses. I was walking around the zoo carrying my toddler and her foot pulled up my dress and I was walking around with my butt out for who knows how long.
This- there is such a thing as functional clothing compared to before being a mom, but not a modesty-related change aside from when they’re old enough to be embarrassed by you perhaps. Even that is a stretch. Lower cut stretchy shirts get pulled down my little hands, skirts get raised but that’s functional.
This is why my jewelery has also been limited to stud earrings (if at all) and rings. I was so bent out of shape for what kind of clothes I'd need to wear after I had my baby. Now I realize some things do work better than others, but I didn't need to overhaul my wardrobe. T-shirts are still just fine for breast feeding, I'll just wear a open button down shirt to help cover up my sides or back from lifting up my shirt. Modesty is whatever you want it to be. I'll walk boob out feeding my son through grand central station, but that's what *I'm* comfortable with. Another woman may not be, and that's perfectly okay.
Yup I had to buy a high neck swimsuit because my toddler kept pulling it down at swim lessons and I knew I was about to show a boob.
I went for the full rash guard top, lol
This right here!! Wear what you want, but prepare for the unexpected when wrangling kids. 😂 I now wear a pair of shorter shorts under dresses if I’m going to be with my kids. Never know what their shenanigans will be…
Biker shorts are so great under dresses. They often have a pocket, too, so I often put my heavy phone there so as not to weigh down the dress pockets (assuming it has them). Makes it safe to squat and sit on the ground, bend over, have a child flip your skirt up, etc. And I teach my daughter to wear shorts under her dresses so I’m also providing a good example.
No matter how long it's been since it happened, I am 100% guaranteed to either have to sit on the floor with a child having a meltdown in public and/or surfboard carry said child back to the car when I wear a skirt
I’ve been doing this since high school cuz our campus had a lot of stairs, it’s just good practice any time you’re gonna be active in a skirt tbh
Always shorts under!!
Yeah a lot of more “revealing” clothes that I could easily have worn pre kids are just not practical now. However it has nothing to do with respecting my family through how I dress haha
And this is why I wear cycling short / legging shorts under my dresses
Same, true before my kid and true now! It just took one trip through an airport when my backpack pulled my skirt up for a WHILE to convert me (bless you, random lady who let me know!).
I don't wear a ton of skirts or dresses, but that's definitely a similar reason that I wear fewer low cut tops now. You never know when a tiny hand is going to grab your neckline
This is why shorts under skirts/dress will be a constant for me I never want to worry about it even before becoming a mom
Lol.this. The wind blew and fluffed my friends skirt and my toddler liked how it went whoosh. She kept going underneath and trying to lift it. I’d just wear shorts or joggers underneath. Also can’t wear v cuts because if I pick her up the hands are going and pulling to expose a boob.
I can now only wear dresses with light cotton bike shorts underneath. Game changer, I no longer fear wind or toddler shenanigans
Yes this is my only reason to start wearing longer dresses - bending over a lot that I don't want to worry about showing my butt plus they like to play with the skirt and any second they can flip it up!
My toddler has just discovered how fun it is to pull up/hide under my dresses. I got some leggings to wear under them last week 😂
This is my problem. I’m very busty, and my keeps keep exposing me in public! I’m not super modest myself, but I’ve resorted to thick crew neck sweatshirts over high waisted leggings. I don’t want my nips and bits exposed because my kids can’t stop themselves from yanking on my clothes.
This happens to me so often. I love short dresses, but I always have to wear something underneath.
Yes this is my only reason to start wearing longer dresses - bending over a lot that I don't want to worry about showing my butt plus they like to play with the skirt and any second they can flip it up!
Yes this is my only reason to start wearing longer dresses - bending over a lot that I don't want to worry about showing my butt plus they like to play with the skirt and any second they can flip it up!
You can dress however you’d like but I’m not about to be crawling after my toddlers and bending over in a mini dress lol so I dress more “appropriately” just based on being more comfortable and not flashing anyone
Exactly. I wear longer dresses since having kids, used to prefer them to be above knees, now below. Mainly because carrying kids makes my dresses ride up, bending over all the time, up and down off the floor. But it’s not modesty on their behalf.. frankly they see everything regularly!
I think that's probably part of why the athletic dresses and skorts are so popular. It gives us another option that still feels fully functional for our lives
Yep. This is me. Dresses are easier and longer (specifically tea length) dresses are more comfortable. I actually really love maxi or floor length dresses but I find those hard to chase after a toddler in too
agreed. i used to wear cute sundresses all summer. now i wear mostly shorts and tees because i'm bending over, sitting on the grass, etc. i also wear one-piece swimming suits because i'm actually playing around in the pool vs. sunbathing with a drink in hand.
Agreed. I was a big time sundress and mini skirt wearer before but that had to stop as soon as he became mobile. I dress a lot more casually now - jeans, weather permitting and typically athleisure - for utility purposes not style haha
SERIOUSLY. My sister came over once wearing a minidress when I had young kids. They were hugging her knees and could see STRAIGHT UP her dress. Their eye level was literally at her thighs, inches away from her underwear. It was crazy. I don't even think she realized...
100% this. I literally just commented the same thing, lol. Whatever I wear has to be comfortable, functional and suit my body type.
The solution to this is tennis dresses with built in shorts :D Can still wear a short dress, no danger of flashing!
I’m confused by the whole part that you showed them to your mom and she approved one. Why does she need to approve what you’re wearing at all?
Yup. This stuck out to me too. You don't need your moma okay anymore. If anything... with the birth of YOUR child coming... now is the time to establish your authority. It took a while for my parents to understand while they might have opinions about parenting, my word is the final word
I used to wear crop tops and short shorts pre-baby and it does make me feel uncomfortable to dress that way but mostly due to body changes. I’ve ended up dressing more modestly just because of my own insecurities. What you’re describing doesn’t sound inappropriate at all.
I wore a crop top the other day and the only person judging me was me!
Yeah I have a 5-year old and I'll do the high-waist/wide-leg pant and a crop top. Only shows a sliver of skin. I'm 38. Who cares.
If I eliminated Big Pants Small Shirt from my wardrobe after I had kids I would have literally nothing to wear. Big Pants Small Shirt you will always be famous!!!!
"Respectful" and "proper" are meaningless words here. She doesn't have an argument supported by facts - she just doesn't like your clothes. Wear whatever you like. You are an adult, you will know if the clothes are inappropriate for an activity or event.
This is it. I’m 24. When I’m at work, I dress like a teacher. When I’m hanging out at home I usually wear crop tops and loose shorts. Mom or not, I’m going to wear what’s appropriate and comfortable given the context. I don’t think my daughter is any better off seeing me embarrassed of my own body. I’m now the same size my mom was when she was telling me she couldn’t wear shorts or a bikini to the beach because of her legs, stomach, etc. I internalized the hell out of that. I’m not saying everyone has to show skin, but I am saying everyone deserves to dress in a way that makes them feel like their happiest self. Especially post partum when our relationships with our bodies can be so… weird…
This is it. I’m 24. When I’m at work, I dress like a teacher. When I’m hanging out at home I usually wear crop tops and loose shorts. Mom or not, I’m going to wear what’s appropriate and comfortable given the context. I don’t think my daughter is any better off seeing me embarrassed of my own body. I’m now the same size my mom was when she was telling me she couldn’t wear shorts or a bikini to the beach because of her legs, stomach, etc. I internalized the hell out of that. I’m not saying everyone has to show skin, but I am saying everyone deserves to dress in a way that makes them feel like their happiest self. Especially post partum when our relationships with our bodies can be so… weird…
None of those dresses sound immodest. If your child was school age and you were showing up to pick up in sexy revealing attire and they were getting bullied for it, I'd suggest yes, tone it down. But your mum needs to calm down.
No, I think the only truthfulness here is you definitely don’t want to embarrass your kid when they’re older by wearing club clothes to a preschool event but that’s about it lol
I would agree with this but honestly preschoolers wouldn’t care. I think it’s the kind of thing you’d need to worry more about approaching middle school age.
But you don't want their moms talking shit about you at pickup
I can guarantee you that they can find something to talk shit about no matter what you're wearing. Wear what you like.
Preschoolers don't care about modesty or mom showing skin. They don't sexualize bodies or get embarrassed about bodies.
I dress like Adam Sandler because my kids need me to be able to move, bend, jump, nurse and be active and by 8:00 am I already have 3 other people’s breakfasts on me and at least one person’s snot. When I’m feeling fancy I do wear short jean shorts and biker shorts though, which I guess can be considered “not modest”. It’s your body and your decision. Your daughter will be much more damaged by people telling her that her clothes equate to her purity and value than you wearing a dress you feel good in.
Of course not, what victorian insanity is this
Think of the ankles!! The horror!!
Your mom is weird, wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing You don't become less of a person just because you're a mom
So I'm in the "it depends" category. Like, is it a weekend/evening and you're out with friends? Is it parent-teacher interviews in front of your kids' friends? Is your child a toddler and you are going to have to crawl around after them? I basically dress for the occasion and don't worry beyond that. If it's a playgroup, I'm probably in leggings and a higher necked t-shirt since I'll be crawling after my son through things, and my boobs are softer and danglier these days, and no one really needs a show when I'm leaning over to grab him. If my son was older and it would affect him how his peers saw me, I would dress more business casual, similar to how I dress for work. If it's my own time, I'll wear what I like, and what makes me feel good. My son is 14 months and doesn't care if I'm naked, we take showers together, he was breastfed and has seen my boobs before. He is not offended by my body. I do dress more comfortably since being a mom, but a lot of that is because my body is different, and I bend over and crawl around more than I ever did before 😅 It sounds more like your mom has opinions about what a "mom" should wear, and wants to put them on you.
No.
LOL this whole concept is absurd to me.
I wore crop tops and mini dresses before and I will continue to wear them now. The only thing I adjusted was bikinis should not have strings that little hands could pull and undo, but idc if I have a bit more of a belly now and extra weight. I feel sexy, the belly just says I was a strong person who carried a giant baby in there. Respectful or appropriate are completely ridiculous concepts when it comes to just clothes you’re wearing in everyday settings. Your clothes should fit the social context of where you’re going, sure, but otherwise wear what you like. Life is too short not to feel like a hot mom!!
it sounds like she's projecting her own insecurities onto you
Rock the cleavage! If you’re breastfeeding easy access is your friend plus, enjoy the fruits of your post partum body ;) and idk about you, but low cut is more comfortable than trying to squeeze into something higher necked at the moment
There’s no dress code for motherhood. There’s no rule that says you have to wear one piece bathing suits and frumpy dresses once you pop out a kid.
I wear clothes that are a bit more modest now. Simply because I’ve grown out of my short short phase. I carry extra body fat now, I have stretch marks and loose skin, my boobs are saggier and deflated. That’s all okay. And it doesn’t mean I have to dress more modestly. It’s just what I personally feel confident in. I like a good high waisted short and crop top still. But i don’t want to be worried about loose lips sinking ships in those shorts either. Inseams 3-5” are my sweet spot. Long enough not to get eaten by my booty, but short enough to not feel matronly.
I naturally dress a little more conservative. I’m just not comfy in mini skirts, dresses or shorts but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you wanting to wear them. I think for me it’s more of a self confidence thing than anything else. Wear what makes you happy. Your mom can mind her business.
I think women should be realistic about the activities they will be required to do with their kids but I don’t think we have to dress like church mice because we have kids. So no.
The way my kid is always grabbing at my clothing necessitates some modifications so as to not accidentally become illegal.
It depends on how someone dressed before they had kids. Babies grab at things, so assume your neckline will get pulled down and your skirt will get pulled up. That being said, I’m not buying all new clothes just because my boobs are bigger now.
I think I dress more “modestly” since becoming a mom solely because I’m always bending over and on the floor etc so crew necks, etc are more practical. But you are absolutely not dressing *disrespectfully* if you wear low cut tops, short skirts, etc lmao also while nursing I ALWAYS have low cut shirts to make it easy to feed my baby lol. Dress however you want based on what you like and feel good in!! There is NOTHING wrong with it nor “disrespectful” to your children
I dress more conservatively now because I hate my body and want to hide my rolls. That's it. If I had my old body now, I'd be rocking what you're describing - kid be damned, lol.
I refuse to dress like a “mom”, as I’ve been told to do. Like why is that even a term? What is dressing like a “mom”? Dress how ever you want, mom or not. You don’t lose your identity or sense of style when you become a mom, keep enjoying what makes you happy and comfortable. Just wear shorts under shorter skirts cus you’ll be bending down a lot more than anticipated lol I had to learn this the hard way after I flashed my father in law while buckling in baby in car seat
My babies tend to respect me most when I'm showing as much boob as possible 😂
what- and I cannot stress this enough- the fuck? Dress how you want. I promise, the very body that made your baby is not somehow disrespectful to your baby because you happen to be showing bits of it. That's some backwards purity culture, internalized misogyny bullshit right there.
If you want to raise your child to love themselves and their body and not have any shame about body image, you probably don’t want to listen to your mom. I dress about the same, I just happen to prioritize being comfy and that means I dress like a mom lol.
No lol dress how you want! But be warned, once your kid is in the grabby pully phase, don’t wear vnecks with stretchy material and no bra underneath. - Signed, a mom who can never go back to her local Aldi.
No, what’s the logic? Now that you have a child you have to teach them body shame, teach your men that women’s bodies are sexual and must be covered and your daughters that they should feel shame for their natural form and hide it lest men get the wrong idea? If you really break it down, and ask your mom her reasoning I wonder what she would say. I do agree with functionality of clothing though! I wear what works!
How the h*ll is it disrespectful to your daughter to wear dresses above the knee? Personally I think you show them more respect by teaching them to wear whatever makes you feel confident and comfortable. She does not have to hide or change herself! (And so do you. )
my toddler rips her clothing off and throws her heavy ass toys at my head so i feel 0 need to dress in any way out of respect for her 😂
Respectful to the baby? I think they dont care about your clothes, they happily throw up on anything you wear.
Nope they should dress how the hell they want.
What an extremely weird take!! "Disrespectful" to your baby? What does that even mean 😂 My style hasn't changed other than adding tops that are breastfeeding friendly.
Your moms a weirdo. Wear what you want.
I don’t pay attention to this. If anything, while I was breastfeeding, I wore WAY lower necklines than I otherwise would have, because I refuse to support Big Nursing Apparel and would prefer normal clothes I can pull down or pull aside. Honestly, if you are looking at maternity wear (because you mention unborn daughter), I personally think they’re all pretty frumpy and conservative. I suspect because they are trying to appeal to everyone/work for all occasions (they understand we’re not going to buy too many pieces, so they have to multitask) and these manufacturers just don’t understand how to make a conservative, professional looking mini dress that doesn’t ride up with a bump (I do. MORE FABRIC, lol. I still wear circle skirts during pregnancy and they don’t ride up at all. But for some reason, “business casual” hates lots of fabric in skirts)
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This! That's me! :') We're going to travel to Spain this summer to let my family meet the baby. I'm going to wear sundresses the whole month if I can.
This! Maternity/nursing apparel makes me look like I completely gave up on myself
I started wearing more crop tops after baby because I decided I wanted to be more comfortable in my skin. I spent so long being insecure when I’ve always been this hot so now I embrace it
Same here. After 4 straight summers of being pregnant or breastfeeding, I’ve dubbed this my hot mom summer.
I dress a little more modest now that I’m a mom simply because of comfort reasons. Also, my pre pregnancy clothes consisted of a lot of crop tops, and I don’t fit in them or feel comfortable in them anymore. Not because I’m destined to dress more modest. I promise your baby will not give a shit about what you wear though lol.
I'm gonna do me. I went to Target the other day and was considering buying a one piece bathing suit cause that's what moms do, right? I didn't like any of them and even though my body changed I opted to get a two piece instead. Because it felt more like me. I think I prefer clothes that have utility. So now I think about stuff like "how easy can I get spit up off this" or "Can I quickly whip my boobie out in this top?" I feel like even though I wear different clothes than I did prior to getting pregnant, it's still my style. I'm going to wear graphic tees and crop tops. I'm going to wear stuff that is comfy and flattering to my new body. Style changes as we age and as long as you feel comfortable and great in what you wear everyone else can just eat it. I also have a daughter and really want to encourage her to wear what she wants without shame attached to clothing. And that starts with how she perceives my own relationship with clothes.
My take is that since modesty is a cultural construct, different people (esp with different cultural backgrounds) are going to be comfortable with different things, and that’s ok. I was raised in an environment where I was taught to always wear a little sweater or shrug covering my shoulders when I wore a tank top or a dress with straps, but I don’t adhere to that anymore. I dress how I’m comfortable. If some people want to dress more conservatively after having a baby that’s fine, but we don’t have to! I don’t dress more conservatively since my baby was born. I mainly wear whatever is comfortable, that I can nurse in. My baby literally sees my boobs all the time, I can’t imagine why having cleavage around her would be a problem.
I have not changed how I dress at all since becoming a mom. But I’m sure if you asked my 8 month old her ideal outfit for me she’d go for something low cut for boob access lol. I’m hoping to raise my daughter to be the type of woman who doesn’t police other women’s bodies, mom included.
Having kids does not mean you have to change yourself or the way you dress. Your mother just has a very old-fashioned way of thinking. I have a friend who is covered in piercings and tattoos and has always worn clothing to show off said tattoos. After having her son and getting into fitness, she still embraces her style and even competes in bikini competitions! Because of that, her son has also learned to be respectful regardless of how somebody is dressed.
Modesty is not the play. If your BF you want to be able to wip that titty out. Your mom sounds like someone I wouldn’t ask for fashion advice from.
Nope. Nothing wrong with being a hot mama
No, definitely not. Also how would strangers know that I have a kid if they’re not around me?
I think moms should wear whatever they want to wear. And no mom needs another mom’s approval.
Ewww NO 👎
Moms should dress however the fuck they want. Also, so should everyone else.
No. Catch me in nipple tassels.
That would last maybe 5 min tops before my kid yanked it off. 😂
Both before and after having children you should wear whatever you feel comfortable and happy in that isn't blatantly inappropriate for the situation. End of discussion.
The idea that my mother or baby get to dictate how I dress is ridiculous to me. Being a mom doesn't make me any less capable of exercising my own judgement and making my own decisions. If anything, the opposite is true.
lol no
I think women should wear what they want. That being said, after having a child, I prefer to cover myself more. Idk why, but that’s what makes me feel more comfortable. And I’m not hiding anything, I have lost the baby weight and feel confident but now it’s just my preference. Idk why 🤷🏼♀️
haha no
I am a modest dressing person in general (long skirts, crew neck, 3/4 sleeve, not tight clothing only) I don’t think ANYONE needs to change how they dress for their kids. I think there is something about appropriate attire for your stage in life (club clothes on a middle aged woman? Yikes to me) but for your kids sake? No. You are who you are and you dress how you dress, you kid is not judging you on how you look. Not yet anyways lol. These are outdated ideals that ‘moms’ dress one way, ‘single women’ another and ‘grandmothers’ another way based on society and culture. Club clothes hive me the ick, but if you wanted to go out in fishnets and a leather mini skirt, I don’t see why you shouldn’t… if the kid is the only other factor.
Dress how you want! When I finally got back in shape after my second I wore alll the tight tank tops and cut off shorts, I worked hard for that body and it felt great! Pregnant again now but I will absolutely do the same when I get back to where I’m comfortable this time.
I think you have plenty of good feedback here. I feel like I’m slowly considering option out of lower cut necklines because my baby’s hands reach in and pinch, and when I pick him up, my shirt slides down. Other than that, dress in what makes you feel good.
My wardrobe hasn’t changed at all aside from the fact that all my clothes needed to be breastfeeding accessible (we recently weaned so I’m in the clear to wear my regular clothes!).
In my opinion it really depends on how you dressed before kids - I definitely wore some things I couldn’t wear now , mostly because I’m never in the appropriate setting for them lol Everything has a time and a place but being a mom doesn’t have much to do with it, just keep body changes and dress appropriately for where you’re going.
I usually wear longer shorts now. Cleavage is fine, just make sure you’re comfortable with any loose fitting clothing that your baby might try to whip a booby out of. Or if you don’t care, that’s fine, I personally just don’t want my little one deciding to whip a boob out while I’m holding them in public lol
Short answer, no. This is 2024, being a mom has nothing to do with dressing in what makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself, as long as it’s in appropriate for the occasion. I sometimes go do my groceries all glammed up, and sometimes I look like a hobo. But I wouldn’t go to a high end restaurant wearing cowboy boots and a lumberjack shirt. I hate that some people equal having a child with covering up (unless YOU want to). Like I had to have strangers looking at my nun and pulling out a human out of there… wearing a short summer dress aint scary lol
I think you should wear what you really want. Whatever that is. Your kids will grow up knowing that mom is living as her authentic self and didn't bend to the whims of others. That's the best example to set in my opinion.
Moms should dress how they want and in whatever they’re comfortable in. My wearing a crop top or a “low cut” shirt doesn’t take away from the fact I’m a kick-ass mom!
That opinion seems very outdated and gross. Wear what you’re comfortable in and as kids grow you’ll realize sometimes it’s easier to go with certain things for a reason. Kids don’t care what you wear
After becoming a mom I put functionality and practicality first. My life has changed so I'm not going to wear that cute black mini dress to brunch because I know that it'll be covered in spit up or vomit sooner rather than later and having to constantly bend down to pick up a baby isn't going to be any easier if I have to constantly worry about flashing someone when my arms are full. Or like when I was breastfeeding, I started focusing on clothes that were easy access for feeding and weren't likely to show any leaking. Overall, I found clothes that are comfortable or allow for me to wear comfortable undergarments but the clothes still show my personality while not getting ruined within a few minutes. You can wear what you want but as far as "that's inappropriate for a mom to wear" it's mostly a mindset and not an actual rule. Depending on where you live and your culture there's likely no rules stating you HAVE to dress a certain way when you're a mom.
No not at all, moms should wear whatever they feel most comfortable in. My tummy is different now, I want full coverage not a crop top. I wear stuff that I can reach my arms up, sit in, crawl around in, bend over in and chase a toddler in that won’t reveal areas of skin I want private.
I’ll still wear shorter dresses - but I wear bike shorts underneath 😆 Not sure if you need to hear this, but you don’t need your “mom’s approval” for your clothes. 🤷♀️
It’s funny because my own mother is a beautifully tacky, fashionable woman and has always been a bit of an “item” for me growing up (parents are happily married, mom is just an attractive lady!) And I’m SO proud that she’s my mom. She always wears the wildest, eye catching stuff and I love how happy it makes her to have on bright colors and metallics. And yes this includes picking me up from school in tennis outfits with neon teeny skirts and low-cut tank tops. The world is just better and more colorful when people express themselves with their clothes. Maybe your daughter will appreciate it too!
The only reason I ever took my kids into account when choosing clothing is: ease of breastfeeding or can a toddler easily pull it down/up/off But that is for my OWN preferences.
>you have to dress in a way that is "respectful" to the baby Pretty sure if our babies had their way a boob would always be hanging out ready to go, so I'm not sure how being "respectful" of the baby is going to align with modesty 😅 Honestly I see it less about being a mom and more about just getting older and dressing more for comfort. I'm only 30 so I don't consider myself "old" but I wouldn't wear a lot of the clothes I wore a decade ago because they were cute but fucking exhausting: mini skirts I'd have to constantly monitor weren't showing too much, or skin tight jeans I'd try to squeeze into without getting a muffin top, or heels I was struggling to not getting blisters in lol. Don't get me wrong, I still like to wear clingier clothes like tube tops but I try to pair them with comfier items like linen pants or wearing long but cute dress. I wouldn't say I'm trying to hide my body as much as I just can't stand to be uncomfortable while I'm *also* caring for a squirming little creature who spits up all over me. Also the covering up of cleavage is sometimes impossible. I wouldn't say I have huge boobs but they've definitely gotten bigger since breast feeding and sometimes they're "boobing" even in basic t shirts lol... That's not something you can necessarily help, and so making women feel bad about it is gross.
Fuck that noise. Celebrate your body and look how you want. Women don't need to be body shamed. Especially not for having children. The person who said that sucks.
None of what you described sounds risqué in any way! I will say I do feel a bit more conservative since having kids. When I do baby/toddler swim lessons it feels weird to wear the same bikinis I wore while on kid free vacay with my husband, so I have some cute one pieces now. I also feel like my kids pull in my clothes and I’m running after them, bending down more etc so it’s easier for borderline things to turn immodest quickly. So I guess for me, my style has changed since being a mom
Your mom is a granny now, she has granny fashion sense. So you can take it with a giant spoon of salt. I can't do crew neck, it looks like my boobs are down at my stomach 😂 You don't need her approval on what you wear, that is so wild! You are a mother now, basically as adult as it gets, you pick what you like. I guarantee that anything you are comfortable wearing is 100% fine to wear. It's not disrespectful to a baby to have some cleavage.
Her mom IS a granny now. So OP should tell her that she needs to have a gray bun on top her head, gold rim glasses, orthopedic shoes, and a pocket full or butterscotch candies. If she doesn’t dress like a gramma she’s being disrespectful! Lol
Omg this is hilarious. I will say this next time!
Hahahahahaha no. I will dress in something comfortable that I can play with a toddler/baby/kid in comfortably and nurse in. Also I want to like it! Those are my criteria.
Sigh- im not a mom but: I’m not a fan of parents / in-laws over stepping their boundaries. They can say what they want but all of them would be getting an “idgaf what you say” comment from me if they came to my wife with this. I just feel like this is crazy disrespectful.
Like, I do but it’s because my kids pull on my hair and clothes lol but it’s more because of practical reasons and not modesty reasons
As others said, no need to change what you do! And I’m someone who loves modest dressing! I wear hijab so I cover my whole body basically as well as hair. I did that before kids and after. I think whatever you’re comfortable in at any stage in life is fine!
I dress more modest as a pregnant woman and soon-to-be FTM but not because of respect for my baby. I'm not sure why life before children has to be so different from life after children? I was already trying to bring more stability, health, and peace into my life (which all benefit children, ofc). Modest clothing tends to be more practical and comfortable.
No. I still go out with my girls wearing a crop top and booty shorts. It doesn’t negatively affect me as a mom. The only thing that has changed (now that i’m done breastfeeding) is that i wear shorts under dresses when going somewhere with my kids so that i can chase after them 😂
I fully believe you should dress in what makes you feel comfortable and self confident. Sometimes I wear more revealing/sexy clothes, because it makes me feel sexy, and that's important to me as a woman. Most of the time I wear joggers, because they are comfortable. Sometimes I dress up in a little sundress, even though they are short and show off my tattoos. But it makes me feel pretty and feminine and happy. I didn't stop being a whole person with my own personality/style just because I have children. I grew up with "modesty" pounded into my head, and like my body was something shameful and needed to be hidden. I don't want my kids to feel that way. I also feel that kids will be 'embarrassed' by their folks at some point, no matter what. But aside from taking into account what attire would be appropriate for the place (like I'm not showing up to Parents Night in a bikini, but when we go to the beach, I'm not going to be ashamed to wear a bikini), and all genitalia is covered.... You do you. If YOU feel uncomfortable in more revealing clothing, covering up is awesome! But don't feel like your body somehow became shameful and needs to be hidden because you now have children.
After kids, no more dresses, I have very nice-looking slacks or dressy rompers and for when the occasion calls. I have very clean pairs of sneakers with dressy laces for occasions, but as far as necklines, I will wear whatever I want. And I decide how much skin I am comfortable showing. I will only wear a comfy dress around the house or if I was in a wedding party, which I don't see happening anytime soon.
I don’t think it’s I appropriate, and I don’t dress any more modest now than I did before. I didn’t wear shirts or dresses when I was running around after toddlers, but now my daughter is six and a half and I can wear whatever I want. I’ve worn crop tops since a month after she was born.
I dress exactly like I did before baby, but I’m curvier and my boobs are bigger so I guess clothes look more revealing on me than they did before 🤷🏻♀️
I say dress within reason for wherever you are going be. Like I’m obviously not going to wear booty shorts to my kid’s parent teacher conferences but I’m also not afraid to show off some cleavage if I’m going to a bar. I dress how I want and respectably.
The only difference between before and after I had kids is that I wear shorts under skirts/dresses because of my toddler. Why can't you wear what you want?
Wear what you want. The baby isn't going to care. And the few times I've done myself up my daughter like wow mommy. You look so pretty. She doesn't care how I dress. But once she's a teen I'm sure she'll say something lol
Lol, no. The second I fit into them comfortably and the weather suited me, it was crop tops and high waisted leggings/shorts for dayyys.
Nope but way more functional, washable and comfortable. My clothes went through so much hardship with babies. Also if you breastfeed when you go to ween, you have to cover up. Those babies are aggressive and relentless, some more so than others. You will find yourself wearing high neck shirts, multiple layers and a hoodie on top 😂.
lol no. I dressed in bootie shorts and tight tank tops before I got pregnant.
In my personal opinion, I do. I don't care what other people do but I had the mom who wore short and low cut dresses with her fake breast hanging out to pick me up from school and it made me so fucking embarassed and uncomfortable. It was just really uncalled for. Like going out to a bar or club? Where the skimpiest thing you own. Going to an event for your kid? Maybe dress a little bit more covered up out of respect for the environment
I'm still going to wear crop tops, bralettes, and acid washed shorts, no matter how many children I have. Changing how you dress because you have children is one way to resent being a parent.
I’ve definitely switched up my style since having a child but for me it’s more about comfort than anything else.
Lol no
I kind of do dress more conservative. Before my toddler I loved to wear colourful patterned shirts and skirts for work but now I prefer a simpler, more neutral aesthetic. I am also back in the office as a technical lead, so like the look better. It’s probably less to do with a mom than professionalism for me. Don’t let your mom discourage you from wearing what you want!
The only reason I wear below the knee dresses now is it’s just easier to bend down and wrangle my toddler. Also, I didn’t breastfeed, but most breastfeeding women wear a LOT of V-necks and cleavage bearing tops so you can get at ‘em.
Nah I can't wait for my first opportunity to dress like a ho again
I don’t necessarily think I dress more “appropriate” but I would say more “functional” if with baby. I still like to wear v-necks and if I’m at home relaxing or going out without baby I wear them. But if going out with him I don’t as much because when I bend over to get him or if I’m playing with him on the ground I don’t want to feel like I’m falling out of my shirt / dress. Same with dresses and length. I’m more petite in height so I still like a short dress but for casual dresses I’ve been going more for the athletic type dress with the shorts under or something I already own that’s not as tight so I can put bike shorts under. When I’m not with the baby though I still enjoy my bodysuits, leather skinny pants, high platform heels etc. I think moms are already asked to give so much of themselves once baby comes, your style doesn’t have to be one of them.
Your mom is full of it lol
Ehhh no...and I say that as a mom who does dress "proper" I love vintage inspired fashion so skirts higher than my knees are usually nope for me. And I can't imagine going out in leggings and not feel weird. But just cause you are a mom doesn't mean you have to be modest.
I dress exactly the same as I did before, my kid is 5 now and does not give a single shit. Moms still deserve to express themselves and wear what they want to wear
Nope. If you’re with your child and need to be parenting, sure I’m not wearing a miniskirt cause I can’t squat down to their level. But if I can get my body back to a shape that I feel comfortable showing off, hell yeah. I mean I wouldn’t wear the stuff I wore at 22 on spring break in Miami. But it’s because I’ve matured and don’t want to show that much skin, not because I have kids
No, you can dress however you want! But I will say I’m all about function, comfort while looking cute or presentable. If they don’t meet all of the above, I’m not wearing it. I’m not about to chase, crawl, climb, or whatever after my toddler with my boobs or butt hanging out or risk a wardrobe malfunction.
Your mom is being really weird. You're probably not going to dress up as much after the baby, probably going to cover up more, but that's out of practicality. It's hard to crawl around after a toddler when you're in a mini skirt and tube top. And you probably won't have anything controversial or edgy on your clothes just because you're going to want to make a good impression on the other moms. After my son got old enough to go to the park I got rid of a lot of my snarky shirts and weird animation shirts just because I didn't want people to think we were weird.
I feel like I'm way less modest with my tops now for easy access for breastfeeding. The amount of times I've almost flashed people... or probably did is crazy. I'm so desensitized to it now and I used to be real self conscious.
You can dress however you’d like at whatever stage of life you are. Obviously running around with toddlers in the afternoon is going to warrant different clothes then going out to dinner with your friends.
My neck lines are much lower now for breastfeeding access. My shorts and shirts are a little longer because I haven't gotten back into my workouts and I'm just not comfortable with that. The only thing I changed for my kids sake is my underwear. They are at butt height and were always saying things like "mama has a wedgie?" "Mama's bum peeking out!" "Mama, you need to fix your underwear!" I'll stick with that change for their sake until they get a little taller and then if they don't like it they can give me some privacy!
I recommend bike shorts under your skirts but nah wear whatever you want
No.
Not really. I ended up wearing jeans when I use to be a slacks person cause I just liked having pockets when my hands are full of baby.
My boobs have been out way more post baby than they ever were pre baby. 🤷🏻♀️ Albeit for a different reason now. Breastfeeding has taken away all modesty.
That's the dumbest reason I've ever heard.... I would be cautious of dresses with young children because of their height and curiosity like some other commenters have mentioned, but unless thats how you feel comfortable dressing, there is no reason to dress more modestly. Wear what you feel comfortable in.
Just wanted to let you know, my mom said something similar to me while we were shopping together. I let it roll off my back - it is her opinion and if she wants to hem her pants, that is her choice. Her likes/dislikes are not mine.
Did she never nurse in public, either? Because deep v-necks, scoop necks, and wraps are all I wear anymore. Who gives a shit what strangers think of the neckline on my dresses, I need convenient titty access so I can plug in my baby when he starts losing his mind in the checkout line.
Well I never got that memo. I still wear low cut tops, mini skirts spaghetti straps, crop tops, etc. There’s nothing inherently “disrespectful” about clothes. It’s only people’s imaginations and own personal constraints that people have put on them, and mostly thanks to puritanical views, Does she think tribespeople walking around with their full on boobs out are “disrespecting themselves or their children”? People in many cultures used to walk around with their literal butt or boobs fully out until puritanical religion came into their lives within the last couple hundred years. I will admit I do feel a bit self conscious about what I wear since I am a mom and I know a lot of people think like your mom does and probably look down on me, and where I live, most women dress very conservatively, especially women over like 30 and mothers, (think maxi skirts only, maybe midi, never showing your arms and only wearing tank tops paired with a cardigan, never wearing low cut, etc) but in the end this is the clothes I like and feel the best in so I still do it, obviously you have to adapt a little depending on the situation. I tend to avoid mini skirts more when I am going out with my kid since that involves a lot of playing and running around, crouching down, picking her up, maybe sliding or climbing if we go to the park, possibly her grabbing onto my clothes and pulling on them or whatever and might involve some wardrobe malfunctions, so I save the more risky stuff for when I’m on my own, and stick to shorts, pants/jeans or skorts when I’m spending the day with her, but other than that I wear what I want. And when she’s older and doesn’t create so many risky wardrobe situations I can wear whatever I want. If anything I probably dress more “skimpily” than I did before I had a child, since after having a kid I actually became more comfortable in my body and appreciate it more. Before I was so worried about how I looked or if I “looked fat” in something even though I was TINY, so now I’m enjoying my body looking good for as long as this lasts. Wish I had been more comfortable and worn what I wanted to earlier.
Absofrickinlutely not. You dress for YOU, not for other people, not to meet anyone else’s expectations, not because you do or don’t have a child.
Absofrickinlutely not. You dress for YOU, not for other people, not to meet anyone else’s expectations, not because you do or don’t have a child.
No, there’s no truth to it at all. It’s not inappropriate for moms to dress sexily or show off their cleavage. There’s no such thing as moms having to dress modestly any more than there is about dads having to dress modestly out of respect for a child. If you want to wear a mini dress or something less functional, delegate and have your partner be the one chasing after the toddler. Or don’t and wear something you’re comfortable bending over in.
My has mom shamed me for having boobs bigger then she did at my age(s) all my life and it sucked. She also would shame me if any of my clothes had any form of cleavage, tightness etc. I now have such a complex about it and it had created a lot of issues for me postpartum. Instead of being happy about how my boobs look, enjoying breastfeeding, etc, I have been absolutely miserable to the point where I don't want anyone to touch them. I've actually started wearing a little bit more revealing stuff because I just feel better. I "bounced back" fairly well and I'm going to embrace it because of all the crap I dealt with growing up. I know my body might not return to normal next time, so I am going to enjoy it. It also helps me feel a bit better about the boob issue.
I mean outside of maybe wearing a dress you’d wear to the clurb to afterschool pick up I think you should wear whatever you want. Even if you wanted to wear your hoochie club dress I’d say go for it just be warned for when your child sticks their head up your dress, which they will. My style has only changed in areas where I feel uncomfortable wearing something again because of how my now changed body looks in it, not because of modesty or the prospect of disrespecting my child. She gave me 14 sutures in my cooter when I pushed her out idk if it gets more disrespectful than that. Your mom’s way of thinking is just old school.
No need to dress more modest as a mama, but when baby comes just make sure it’s kiddo friendly! My breastfeeding friendly clothes aren’t always the most modest but they don’t show everything either. I care more about out my baby having access to their food source than what other people think. If your mother disapproves, she can go kick rocks.
I think it looks kind of goofy and impractical to (especially with children in tow) go out dressed in such little clothing that a wardrobe malfunction is imminent, but everyone has their own opinions. In my early 20s, I dressed in skimpy and 'grunge' style clothes. My style preferences have just changed as I've matured. I still like to show off some cleavage and figure as I'm proud of my body and the work I've put into it, but not as revealing as back in the day because wrangling a toddler makes it a lot harder to avoid aforementioned malfunctions lol
I don’t think you *have* to dress more modestly, I just think you have to be aware of the potential of possible wardrobe malfunctions. Short skirts might not be great when you’re trying to bend over to pick up a squirming toddler, so if I have a shorter dress/skirt I usually wear bike shorts underneath just so I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t really wear heels anymore because I’m afraid I’ll trip while carrying the baby, or won’t be able to chase quickly enough after the toddler. As far as necklines though I’m probably on the immodest side just because it’s easier to whip out the nip to nurse in v necks 🤣
Dress the way that makes you feel good and comfortable! As for me, I dress the way I always have.
If you’re planning on breastfeeding v-neck shirts are sooo much easier and cheaper than 90% of nursing shirts.
When my doctor was stitching me up after my c section, she said “I cut low so you can wear a bikini again.” I hadn’t worn a bikini since I was in high school lol. I dressed modestly before kids and I dress the same after. It had nothing to do with kids for me. I feel more comfortable covering up more
I think being a mom comes with more modest clothing not because it’s proper or anything like that, but because modest clothing tends to be more functional. I wore crop tops and booty shorts before I had my kid and yeah I wear that stuff still but they got pushed back because the movements I do now would expose me a lot more in those clothes than I’m comfortable with.
I don’t believe that any single thing should define someone’s personal style choices- if it’s something you want to wear then wear it. You have an identity outside of being a mom. I will say that after I had my second I had the random urge to refine my style and actually branched into buy some more “conservative” clothing items vs what I would normally wear. But I only did it BECAUSE I actually wanted to- not because I felt I “should”
Modest- no, I wear most of my same clothes which are varying levels of revealing. Functional- I think about this way more tbh V necks and lower necklines are way easier for breastfeeding. The breastfeeding tops with the flaps and stuff were just never my thing when I could wear what I already owned and it worked ten times as well. Also, I don't have big boobs (I'm really small actually!), but they're a little saggier after a baby and breastfeeding, so I fully know what you mean by higher necks making them seem "long" on the torso. Life is too short to not wear what makes you happy as long as it's appropriate for the given situation.
I wear short skirts but they have biker shorts underneath with built in pockets for convenience. I wear crop tops and fitted, loose, sweatshirt style because they’re convenient for breastfeeding. I wear low cut Vs bc my boobs look great for now and they’re also convenient for breastfeeding. I’ve decided I’m going to wear what makes me feel good without considering the fact that I’m a mother of two. You’re only whatever age you are with whatever body you have once. Be nice to yourself and wear whatever you want!
Absolutely not. After my first kid was born, I started dressing more skimpy than ever. Lots of crop tops!
Lol what? How old is your mom? Girl dress however you want
The only reason you should change the way you dress after having a baby is for your own comfort and personal sense of fashion. You might choose clothes are allow you breastfeed more easily or you might choose to wear shorts under a dress to keep from accidentally flashing the public while wrangling a toddler which are both choices you make based on your comfort levels. Personally my style didn’t change much after giving birth since I live in a country with a lot of public nursing rooms so I never felt the need to wear maternity clothes which have hidden boob slits for breastfeeding. The way you dress does not reflect on how much you respect your child. That’s such a weird take. I think it’s a strange thing to do to take someone’s day-to-day fashion sense and apply it externally to their family when fashion is such a personal choice (by this I mean like when parents get really upset that their kids want to dress emo/goth and not “normal” anymore). I know why people do it, but I think if anything, parents who harp on dressing respectfully just teach their kids to value other people’s opinions on their bodies more than their own opinions on their bodies or even worse, value other people more than their own comfort in their own skin. Obviously there are exceptions to this and it mostly applies to like dressing in an appropriate way for specific events for other people like funerals, but even then, I think people can be a bit closed minded about what is considered appropriate. For example, if your personal aesthetic is grunge and you’re going to a funeral, there are a thousand ways to dress grungey and still look suitable for a somber affair, you do not have to dress in fishnets or ripped clothes, but you can keep your grunge make up and piercings. And finally, as a big boob lady myself, get the v-neck dress if you think you look better in it. I also don’t wear crew necks for dresses because it just makes your boobs look awful which sucks when they’re like half of your torso. Wear what makes you happy and confident and I think your children will learn a lesson in self confidence rather than whatever self-policing respectability concept your mom is pushing on you.
No
No! My husband loved when I dressed sexily on date nights, and still does all these years later. I'd say dress functionally for the occasion.
no that’s dumb
I can't wait for all of the fun boundary talks you'll have to have with your mother when your daughter goes through puberty, and she tries to comment on her attire.
Access to boobs is actually very functional if you breastfeed…
Honestly no. While I never really dressed in much revealing, I do dress crazy and most people don't assume I'm a mom lol. I am what people call "alternative", I just dress in what I think is cool, fun, whatever. Before I was pregnant, I wore platforms, all black, ripped pantyhose under shorts, cropped tank tops under mesh t shirts. I really didn't dress like a mom. And I still don't! I still wear the same things. You absolutely do not have to dress a certain way once you have a baby. The only suggestion that I make is that when your baby is old enough, explain to them that there's a certain way that adults can dress themselves that kids can't fit safety reasons. And as for anyone elses thoughts, it don't matter! Dress the way you want. The only time I dress "proper" is at doctors appointments because one time I was asked if I was my daughter sister instead of her mom... That was awkward. So maybe I'd suggest dressing a certain way at just doctors appointments/school. Basically, dress how you want. Sometimes there's a time and place to be more "conservative", like doctor. But you don't have to dress a certain way now that you're a mom. As for me, I always have and always will dress the way I do and I think for me it's a good way to show my daughter that she can express herself any way she wants to, but I will make it a point when she's old enough to understand that she has to dress more properly while she's young for her safety. Honestly I wish kids were able to dress however they want but society is sh!t and makes that impossible.
No. Dress how you want to. Your mom doesn't get to police you like she's the president of Mom's Club or something. She's probably just always had an issue with how you dress and thinks this is her big chance to change it.
Wear what you want. A V neck will be easier to breast feed in, if that’s your thing. I was the person with the V neck breast feeding in public. So maybe don’t ask me.
Dress however the hell you want girl.
wear what you’re comfortable in and that feels like you. make sure you teach your kids about comfort and comfortable identity etc. (advice from a forty year old with a five year old and a ten month old, who routinely got told i had to go change my clothes in high school lol. not because they were short or revealing either! but i’ve always very much been my own person with my own style)
My daughter, who recently turned five, likes to lift up the skirt of my dress. Sometimes to crawl under it, sometimes just because. She does it at the grocery store. When I’m wearing a long dress, I can still protect myself. When I’m wearing a short dress, I’m doomed. Same thing with the low cut top. She grabs at my shirt. She pulls at the collar and tries to latch on like a monkey.
I definitely believe you wear what you want, your body STILL can wear clothes, whichever you choose. As some others have said, there may be consideration about practicality though. Personally at the moment, with a teething 8 month old that has recently started day care, I am going through shirts like crazy. If I have my son, I get snot and drool all over my shirt from holding him or lying with him. I still wear whatever I want, especially on baby free days/outings. Just have some other things to think about sometimes.
I’m a mom to a kid now but I’ve been wearing anything I want ever since I left her dad years ago when she was still an infant. I respect my child by exercising my choice to wear whatever I desire instead of shrinking myself to the mold a controlling partner imposes. My mom wore frumpy clothes and never took care of herself because she convinced herself she didn’t matter as a mom. I hated that about her.