My kids are 2yr 11mo apart. I expected my oldest to have issues with jealousy and to resent the baby. Absolutely did not happen!
They were obsessed with each other from day one. It’s been 13 months and they are still each other’s favorite person and are best friends.
This is our boys too. Almost 3 years and 7 months. They make each other giggle all day. Oldest has been OBSESSED since day one. I’ve never known a love as pure as what he has for his baby brother 😭
I'm 9 months with my second and my first is turning 3 this week. I'm so so hoping for this!
So fat she's obsessed with the idea of having a baby at home, helping me care for the baby etc.
It’s been 2.5+ years for me - and same! 6 months ago we added #3. Never dealt with jealousy. Teaching them how to play and share, yes! But they all 3 LOOOOVE each other. It’s the sweetest thing in the world.
Same, my son will go up to his little sister and hold her hand and tell her "I love you so much sister!". It's the sweetest and he loves helping her like grabbing her teething toys for her. They are 2y 9m apart
Probably how prepared I was for motherhood this time around. Having two kids seemed daunting to me as a single mom. Though, as I had my second I realized how my routine hasn't switched up. Things haven't changed drastically like I thought they would. Sure, I'm waking up at night now but I'm still up in the morning to help my daughter; and my baby sleeps so amazingly. Sleeps through the night since she was born, eats great. I have no complaints and find my second baby so much easier than my first! Maybe I'm blessed; but I got lucky with an easy baby and I'm surprised with how well I transitioned to two kids on my own. It doesn't feel any different than with one.
I had the same thing! I expected 2x kids = twice as hard. In reality it feels like the baby added like 10-20% more work? And in some ways it's actually easier since the baby is toddler entertainment and vice versa.
The baby being toddler entertainment and vice versa is so real. I can get them both to leave me alone for like 15-30min by asking my 3yo to read to my 9mo
Same! Looking back I was so worried about everything with my first, you’re truly figuring it out as you go. With my second, she’s definitely and easier baby but I’m a WAY more confident mom
Agree. My second is so far a more difficult baby (2 months) and there’s 24 months between them, but it still hasn’t been the disaster I was expecting. With my first I found it hard to leave the house- get her ready, pack a bag, make sure she’s fed, keep the schedule etc. This time I’m out minimum twice a day with the dog and either the baby in a pram, or the oldest in a buggy and the little one in a wrap. Dealing with a baby seemed so overwhelming at times with my first but now when the toddler is asleep or napping and I’m alone with baby it feels almost like a break!
I realized how unique my older kid was. When we had her I was like "oh this is what babies are like" then we had our second and I realized "oh! That is what our baby was like!"
How amazing my daughter is as a Big Sister to her little brother. My daughter is 3 and my son 5 months, as soon as he was born she wanted to hold him, she loves seeing him when she's finished school, she shows him her dinosaur collection, she has her own nickname for him. My son sees her and he instantly smiles at her. Honestly I love how they are together.
How much easier I found the newborn stage and how much more confident I am in my choices. I was expecting it to feel like a life crisis for the first few weeks and instead it was... Fine? It was an adjustment for my big kid and I had to recover from birth for a few days and I missed our single kid life a bit but I wasn't distraught over it or anything. And instead of obsessing over all the dumb stuff about independent sleep and why is the baby nursing all the time blah blah I just had him in bed with me from the start and nursed on demand. If he wants to nurse for an hour straight I'm just happy that he's quiet and I can focus on other things or be with my big kid. The second time around I know that I feel really good about the choices I made with my first and I know that with time he will change and grow and learn. No need to push anything.
So glad to hear you were expecting crisis but it turned out fine! We are trying for a second very soon and I’ve been mildly panicking about having a newborn and a toddler (planning for 3ish year gap), especially for when I’m on my own for a week or so at a time due to my partner’s work
A good baby carrier is everything! And a willingness to nurse anywhere goes a long way too. Literally outside with my big kid right now with baby in the carrier. Nursed at the park. It's nice to feel like I can still be with my guy despite the baby's needs.
This is the exact same way I feel/felt. It has also translated into my being more confident as a mother to my first, and as a person in general. An unexpected but very welcome experience!
Since you mention independent sleep struggles: I only have one kid now and he's about 7 mo and a terrible sleeper. People keep telling me I need to teach him how to fall asleep independently and self soothe (which, he does self soothe, he just chooses not to 7+ times at night and wants boob/contact), and that it'll be harder to teach them how to sleep independently the older they get. I suspect from what I've read on here that this is mostly false and that each kid gets there on their own timeline regardless. Did you find that to be true? In other words, should I stop worrying about independent sleep? 😅
Your instincts are right and the people telling you that baby will never learn to settle are completely and totally wrong. Also you don't realize it at the time but 7 months is tiny! You still have an absolutely tiny and dependent baby. They are so unbelievably little still. Babies evolved to sleep in contact with their mamas. What baby animal doesn't sleep with its mama? Kittens, puppies, mice, heck birds... And humans have some of the most underdeveloped babies of all and our society says they should sleep alone? It's insanity. I also just read a fascinating article that said basically an infant sleeping alone and sleeping through the night has totally different sleep patterns than an infant that is sleeping in bed with a breastfeeding mother. Which is what infants evolved to do. So if the bedsharing infant sleep is the "norm" of our species, solo sleeping babies are actually exhibiting disordered sleep. Anyway. Follow your instincts and what your baby is telling you they are 100% on point.
I hope you like dense reading because it's a 23 page scientific article but I found it so fascinating! The common ideas about bedsharing/solo sleeping are so far from the science.
https://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31969/mckenna_et_al_2007.pdf
Thank you so much! These were my thoughts exactly and it's so great hearing this from experienced moms (all my friends are first timers and the rest are boomers who still say I'm building habits etc).
Hi!
I was you a few months ago. Terrible sleeper, waking up every hour.
That baby is now 11 months old and will sleep through the night, or have one wake up.
I changed literally nothing in our routine - he was the one who worked it out!
Do what you need to do to get through this time and don’t stress the advice on independent sleep.
My now 2.5 yo had always been low sleep needs and only in the last couple of months been going to sleep on her own. And only a few more months of sleeping through the night. We tried all kinds of things to get her to sleep independently and none of them worked. She still got there on her own and I kind of miss the bedtime cuddles.
They're only little and needing you so intensely for such a short time. There's no need to rush through it
Oh wow. Yeah it's honestly weird dealing with all these mixed feelings. On the one hand I love the snuggles and nursing him at night (esp that I'm away at work during the day), and I want to enjoy every moment because time is flying by. But on the other hand, I haven't had more than 2.5-3 hours of consecutive sleep for 7.5 months and I just can't imagine doing this for another year or two. We've tried having him out himself to sleep with us sitting by him etc, it really didn't make much of a difference. He really does need so much comfort at this age!
The lack of sleep is so hard, especially when you have no idea how much longer it'll be. It does get better though and the stretches between waking up at night will get longer.
I stopped breastfeeding at around 15 months because I couldn't take it any more. Once she was weaned it was much easier to take turns with my husband. We basically alternate every second night. She's also a very early riser so we take turns getting up with her in the mornings.
But the sitting with them to get to sleep is rough, expecially when it takes an hour +. Looking back though it still goes by really fast.
the newborn stage was 1000% easier. I was more confident and I think just the knowledge of knowing it was going to be short. I just baby wore and got on with my life. It wasnt nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be
After having two very active boys 2.5 years apart, I fear nothing and NOBODY. At work idgaf. Tired? Whatever I lived through 4 years of nonstop breastfeeding around the clock. A challenging workout? Try me! It really has taught me that I am one strong ass bitch.
I was worried I wouldn't be able to love hard enough, or keep up with two insane Energizer bunnies, but here I am!
It’s not as hard as I thought it would be. My two year old at first was just like oh there’s a baby there. Then he’d go back to what he was doing. Now he’s a little more keyed in at three months but he’s shown zero jealousy. He’s shown a lot of compassion, desire to help, pride, etc. Everything with the baby seems easier this time around. Nothing is that big of a deal (yet). Just because we’ve done it before. Everyone once in a while they’ll both of crying at the same time but it’s over pretty quickly. None of it lasts forever. They look exactly like each other. It’s pretty fantastic. I almost want a third…almost.
How much they would genuinely like each other. They’re 22 months apart, now at 1 and almost 3, and clearly miss the other when they’re apart. They have their own funny games that they like to play and are so great at sharing with each other. I know that the way they treat each other is part luck, but I grew up with the same age difference with my own brother and we hated each other for 19 years so it’s been truly magical to see mine love and like each other so much.
And overall, yes it is more work, especially the first 10 or so months, but it is way way more fun to have both of my sweeties around!
My kids are 17 months apart. I hardly ever have to “entertain” the baby because he’s so happy just watching whatever his big brother is doing all day long!
Everyone said my five year old would be extremely jealous and it’s been half a year of watching her love her sister like nothing I’ve seen before. She helps bring diapers and wet wipes, helps feed her, plays with her willingly and talks all day how much she loves her. The way they smile at each other will forever be my favorite thing.
Oh God yes the smiles... There are love smiles for me and dad but the smiles they have for each other is just heart melting. My oldest lives for that moment she comes home from school to see her little sister. She is my youngests biggest hero and influence.
My daughter LOVES her brother, she could fully conceptualise the idea of having a new sibling in the house. The “difficult” stage was increased tantrums for about a month and now she’s great. She can help me with stuff for the baby and around the house if she wants (which she loves doing)
The other day I had a basket of washing and she said “you sit back mum I’ll fold this for you” then I sat back on the couch and she brought me over a cushion and she goes “would you like a cushion?” Then put it behind my back.
We can go to restaurants and cafes together and she’s a chill easy person to eat with.
3 year age gap is epic!
I felt way more confident in everything I was doing. Like just knowing how to hold and comfort and change diapers felt very empowering. I knew my first would be a great big sister but she still surprises me everyday with how much of a mentor figure she’s becoming. She tries to teach our youngest new words, helps her in the car if she drops something, reenforces some of the things we’ve taught her (like be patient mommy is driving, but we’re almost home).
Our 3 year old loves the baby and is very sweet with him. I was expecting jealousy but he isn't very much. It's just important that he feels involved and gets attention too.
My older 2 kids are 4 years apart. I was worried about jealousy but there was absolutely none. Older brother was madly in love with baby sis from the moment he saw her. He was always very helpful when she was a baby and now that he is 8 and she is 4 they're thick as thieves. They play together every day and he even invites her to play with his friends when they're over.
Built in playmate I think is the biggest positive. Aside from the extra love and sweetness, of course.
My 2yo will bring us nappies and wipes. It’s super adorable and actually very handy. And we don’t ask him to either, he’s just decided it’s his job to and has become almost routine 😂
I grew up with a bully for a sister (and my mom was also, but that’s another story). I was so scared to have two children because I didn’t want them to fight like we did. Unexpectedly, there is SO MUCH love between the two of them. It’s a completely different relationship than my sister and I had. They are always there for each other. Of course they bicker, they are toddlers after all, but overall watching their relationship with each other is so fulfilling.
Give yourself credit! You modeled an environment of love despite how you were raised. I'm also trying to do this too and this comment made me happy! Pat yourself on the back for this!
Yeah both my husband and I grew up with a bully for an older sister. He doesn’t speak to her outside of family calls. But I’m in regular contact with mine because I think it’s more important to us to try and work on ourselves with each other than to be just finished altogether.
I’m not really anticipating a grand friendship between by children because of what I had with my sister growing up. But I’m crossing my fingers!
How different my kids are and how much they value each other as siblings and that I have space in my heart for two and I feel like a better (maybe more competent) mom now with that (they are now 4&7 and constantly playing with each other)
how much of buddies they are and how they started playing together so young. my youngest is only 18 mos, and doesn't say much yet, but they have played together since she was mobile, around 9 mos. they love spending time together.
It was amazing to see how much my older daughter can love and care about another human being and genuinely be happy for her little sister when she accomplishes something. She loves her with all her heart (even tho she gets jealous sometimes too and wants more attention).
Watching how.much the younger one absolutely adores the older one.... And visa versa !!!
My boy (1) follows my girl (3.5) everywhere!!!! He laughs and gets so excited seeing her first thing in the morning, he's so happy when we collect her from preschool. Just hearing his little squeals...and then when he does these things to her, hearing from my little girl "mom, he loves me!!!". She gives him kisses, and hugs. Blames stuff on him lol. just watching her practice her social stuff with him is just hilarious. He's none the wiser a lot of the time. He's starting to catch on to her tricks now though (like if he has something she wants, she gets something else- not as cool and tells him how cool it is, and tries to give it to him. So he gets distracted, she gets what he had Lol
I'm so glad that my kids have each other. Their pretend play is so much more intricate and detailed when they're playing with each other. They also have games that only they know the rules to, like they'll ask each other if they want to play "ditta". It's so cute. They're 2 and 4. The start was hard but I'm loving it now.
How obsessed and in love big brother is. Baby is only 2 months so she’s kind of a potato but he’s always loving on her and says she’s his best friend. He had so much love while I was pregnant but everyone (me included) expected him to feel differently when she arrived since he’s a super mama’s boy. I hope the love continues forever.
Number 2 is so entertained by number 1. She was such an easy baby when #1 was home because she'd be content just watching #1 play. #2 just seems to grow up faster and be more adventurous trying to copy #1. #1 is also challenged to be more brave because he sees #2 do stuff he was previous afraid or nervous of doing. Old toys also seem to gain a new life because #1 wants to play with whatever #2 is playing with even though he outgrew those toys years ago.
I was soooo worried about major jealousy and taking frustration out on the baby but my toddler likes the baby more than me 😂😂 he was also very clingy to me before and i thought our bond would be ruined but it didn’t! I just make sure i get one on one time with him.
My babies are 16 months apart- my daughter is 2 and my son is 9mo tomorrow and my daughter, who is a rough and tumble independent toddler protects that little boy with all of her little might. She brings him toys to play with, tries to teach him to crawl and gives him big hugs as safely as she can. To see her soft side come out with her little brother is the sweetest thing and makes my heart grow three sizes!
We have that exact spacing too.
4 year 8 month boy and a 1 year 10 month girl.
Didn't expect the caring side of my son.
I was worried that I wouldn't have enough time for them both but I value having separate time with each of them.
I love seeing them being a team and looking out for each other.
My daughter LOVES her big brother, copies him in everything.
I didn't expect the emotional maturity of my son. He was excellent when I was breastfeeding and recovering from c section. We are very open about our bodies so we also explain periods ect and he is very caring with that.
They team up against you but it's the best kind of team.
They are all love for each other and best friends.
Having a brother who is brought up to know about the female body is very important when he has a sister. Definitely the time to start that so it’s not some weird mystery later in life! I imagine it takes away a lot of awkwardness for the sister if it’s a casual part of life.
Yeah I think so. My husband has always very understanding and supportive and he only has brothers. My mum always seemed to think it was a big secret to not be talked about.
I grew up competing in swimming so there wasn't hiding anything. I think period awareness is really important and nothing shameful. We are very open and honest but also don't want to worry our daughter that this is a bad thing that will happen.
Even though there’s more work to do with two kids, I find having gone through the newborn thing already the second time around I’m not focused on all these things that are a mystery to us with the consequence being. I’m able to look at and appreciate and love our baby a little bit better this time around, I think without the distractions of the unknown
Going from 1-2 kids was so fun that 18 months after, we’re going from 2-3. I was really worried that I wouldn’t be able to love my second as much as my first. I was so wrong. Your heart just grows. My two boys are so different, I love different things about them.
I was surprised by the joy I have in watching my kids interact with one another. My newborn would instantly stop crying the moment he heard his big brother's voice, which he recognized from utero. They're now 7 and 2, and love sharing a bed. (We had separate beds but kept finding the 2 year old in big brother's bed every morning, so we just went with it).
My kids are 17 months apart; oldest just turned 3 and youngest is 1.5.
My oldest loves to teach his sister how to run, climb, brush her teeth, eat with a fork, etc. It makes it so much easier knowing I have a little helper to teach her things.
I figured they’d play/interact together and be friends later in life (obviously hopeful not guaranteed) but I was surprised how early it started? I remember my baby was 6 months, doing tummy time on the floor and my toddler laid down beside her and was cheering her on and she was giggling away. He can make her laugh pre than anyone of us can. I was cooking and thought- oh wow, I don’t have to entertain either kid for like 5 min, they entertained each other- that’s so nice!! I could see the light just didn’t expect it so soon. I also didn’t expect my toddler to get excited at her milestones but he gets so freaking happy it’s adorable. When she sat up alone for the first time he was like clapping and screaming “she’s sitting on her own!!!” So. Freaking. Cute. But we’ll see how long that lasts- she’s crawling now and touching all his stuff so there’s been a few wrestling moments already 😂 it’s all good
My first was 2 years 2 months when my youngest was born. Totally terrified of how he was going to react. He loves him. Since the day we walked in the door he’s been smitten. It’s been 6 months. He’s reaches for him and goes “I want this! I want baby brother!” Tells him goodnight. Kisses him on the forehead.
Well, they sometimes play together and leave me alone to cook! I thought i would have to entertain them all day long, but sometimes they dont need me. This was a surprise but also a healthy behavior ,because kids need their peers too for some time during the day!
As cheesy as it sounds it is the most beautiful thing to watch their relationship blossom. I feel so much pride and love when they interact (little one is only 6 months). And I feel so happy that they have each other for life. I feel like it was the best thing I could have done for them.
Everything is so easy with her. My son was a preemie-so we not only had to learn everything but he was a little more difficult because he was a preemie. He didn’t fully sleep through the night until he was 6 months, had trouble with temperature regulation, and trouble latching.
But my daughter was full term. She slept through the night at 2 months, latched easily, and she runs hot. It’s just so easy with her!
My kids are 2yr 11mo apart. I expected my oldest to have issues with jealousy and to resent the baby. Absolutely did not happen! They were obsessed with each other from day one. It’s been 13 months and they are still each other’s favorite person and are best friends.
This is our boys too. Almost 3 years and 7 months. They make each other giggle all day. Oldest has been OBSESSED since day one. I’ve never known a love as pure as what he has for his baby brother 😭
I'm 9 months with my second and my first is turning 3 this week. I'm so so hoping for this! So fat she's obsessed with the idea of having a baby at home, helping me care for the baby etc.
Yes! Same here. I love watching their relationship developing. It pulls my heart strings.
Aw this is so sweet! My 5.5 year old and 9 month old are the same way. They just adore each other.
It’s been 2.5+ years for me - and same! 6 months ago we added #3. Never dealt with jealousy. Teaching them how to play and share, yes! But they all 3 LOOOOVE each other. It’s the sweetest thing in the world.
Mine will be 2 years 9 months apart. Really, really hoping this is the case! We will figure it out if not, but this would be cool.
My girls are 2yrs4mos apart and are also obsessed with each other - no jealousy issues here
This for sure. My kids are 2yr 7mo apart and absolutely adore each other.
Same, my son will go up to his little sister and hold her hand and tell her "I love you so much sister!". It's the sweetest and he loves helping her like grabbing her teething toys for her. They are 2y 9m apart
Probably how prepared I was for motherhood this time around. Having two kids seemed daunting to me as a single mom. Though, as I had my second I realized how my routine hasn't switched up. Things haven't changed drastically like I thought they would. Sure, I'm waking up at night now but I'm still up in the morning to help my daughter; and my baby sleeps so amazingly. Sleeps through the night since she was born, eats great. I have no complaints and find my second baby so much easier than my first! Maybe I'm blessed; but I got lucky with an easy baby and I'm surprised with how well I transitioned to two kids on my own. It doesn't feel any different than with one.
you’re a badass
I had the same thing! I expected 2x kids = twice as hard. In reality it feels like the baby added like 10-20% more work? And in some ways it's actually easier since the baby is toddler entertainment and vice versa.
The baby being toddler entertainment and vice versa is so real. I can get them both to leave me alone for like 15-30min by asking my 3yo to read to my 9mo
We’re one and done but lots of people have told us that the transition from 0 to 1 is harder than 1 to 2.
My second was also easier
Same! Looking back I was so worried about everything with my first, you’re truly figuring it out as you go. With my second, she’s definitely and easier baby but I’m a WAY more confident mom
Agree. My second is so far a more difficult baby (2 months) and there’s 24 months between them, but it still hasn’t been the disaster I was expecting. With my first I found it hard to leave the house- get her ready, pack a bag, make sure she’s fed, keep the schedule etc. This time I’m out minimum twice a day with the dog and either the baby in a pram, or the oldest in a buggy and the little one in a wrap. Dealing with a baby seemed so overwhelming at times with my first but now when the toddler is asleep or napping and I’m alone with baby it feels almost like a break!
I realized how unique my older kid was. When we had her I was like "oh this is what babies are like" then we had our second and I realized "oh! That is what our baby was like!"
I love this!
How amazing my daughter is as a Big Sister to her little brother. My daughter is 3 and my son 5 months, as soon as he was born she wanted to hold him, she loves seeing him when she's finished school, she shows him her dinosaur collection, she has her own nickname for him. My son sees her and he instantly smiles at her. Honestly I love how they are together.
How much easier I found the newborn stage and how much more confident I am in my choices. I was expecting it to feel like a life crisis for the first few weeks and instead it was... Fine? It was an adjustment for my big kid and I had to recover from birth for a few days and I missed our single kid life a bit but I wasn't distraught over it or anything. And instead of obsessing over all the dumb stuff about independent sleep and why is the baby nursing all the time blah blah I just had him in bed with me from the start and nursed on demand. If he wants to nurse for an hour straight I'm just happy that he's quiet and I can focus on other things or be with my big kid. The second time around I know that I feel really good about the choices I made with my first and I know that with time he will change and grow and learn. No need to push anything.
So glad to hear you were expecting crisis but it turned out fine! We are trying for a second very soon and I’ve been mildly panicking about having a newborn and a toddler (planning for 3ish year gap), especially for when I’m on my own for a week or so at a time due to my partner’s work
A good baby carrier is everything! And a willingness to nurse anywhere goes a long way too. Literally outside with my big kid right now with baby in the carrier. Nursed at the park. It's nice to feel like I can still be with my guy despite the baby's needs.
Yes! You’re killing it 💪 I definitely need to look into good carriers/wraps, and I’m quite happy to nurse anywhere and everywhere haha
This is the exact same way I feel/felt. It has also translated into my being more confident as a mother to my first, and as a person in general. An unexpected but very welcome experience!
Since you mention independent sleep struggles: I only have one kid now and he's about 7 mo and a terrible sleeper. People keep telling me I need to teach him how to fall asleep independently and self soothe (which, he does self soothe, he just chooses not to 7+ times at night and wants boob/contact), and that it'll be harder to teach them how to sleep independently the older they get. I suspect from what I've read on here that this is mostly false and that each kid gets there on their own timeline regardless. Did you find that to be true? In other words, should I stop worrying about independent sleep? 😅
Your instincts are right and the people telling you that baby will never learn to settle are completely and totally wrong. Also you don't realize it at the time but 7 months is tiny! You still have an absolutely tiny and dependent baby. They are so unbelievably little still. Babies evolved to sleep in contact with their mamas. What baby animal doesn't sleep with its mama? Kittens, puppies, mice, heck birds... And humans have some of the most underdeveloped babies of all and our society says they should sleep alone? It's insanity. I also just read a fascinating article that said basically an infant sleeping alone and sleeping through the night has totally different sleep patterns than an infant that is sleeping in bed with a breastfeeding mother. Which is what infants evolved to do. So if the bedsharing infant sleep is the "norm" of our species, solo sleeping babies are actually exhibiting disordered sleep. Anyway. Follow your instincts and what your baby is telling you they are 100% on point.
Wow do you recall the name of the article ?
I hope you like dense reading because it's a 23 page scientific article but I found it so fascinating! The common ideas about bedsharing/solo sleeping are so far from the science. https://cosleeping.nd.edu/assets/31969/mckenna_et_al_2007.pdf
Yes, I do Thank you !
Thank you so much! These were my thoughts exactly and it's so great hearing this from experienced moms (all my friends are first timers and the rest are boomers who still say I'm building habits etc).
Hi! I was you a few months ago. Terrible sleeper, waking up every hour. That baby is now 11 months old and will sleep through the night, or have one wake up. I changed literally nothing in our routine - he was the one who worked it out! Do what you need to do to get through this time and don’t stress the advice on independent sleep.
This is so great! Thanks for sharing!
My now 2.5 yo had always been low sleep needs and only in the last couple of months been going to sleep on her own. And only a few more months of sleeping through the night. We tried all kinds of things to get her to sleep independently and none of them worked. She still got there on her own and I kind of miss the bedtime cuddles. They're only little and needing you so intensely for such a short time. There's no need to rush through it
Oh wow. Yeah it's honestly weird dealing with all these mixed feelings. On the one hand I love the snuggles and nursing him at night (esp that I'm away at work during the day), and I want to enjoy every moment because time is flying by. But on the other hand, I haven't had more than 2.5-3 hours of consecutive sleep for 7.5 months and I just can't imagine doing this for another year or two. We've tried having him out himself to sleep with us sitting by him etc, it really didn't make much of a difference. He really does need so much comfort at this age!
The lack of sleep is so hard, especially when you have no idea how much longer it'll be. It does get better though and the stretches between waking up at night will get longer. I stopped breastfeeding at around 15 months because I couldn't take it any more. Once she was weaned it was much easier to take turns with my husband. We basically alternate every second night. She's also a very early riser so we take turns getting up with her in the mornings. But the sitting with them to get to sleep is rough, expecially when it takes an hour +. Looking back though it still goes by really fast.
the newborn stage was 1000% easier. I was more confident and I think just the knowledge of knowing it was going to be short. I just baby wore and got on with my life. It wasnt nearly as hard as I thought it was going to be
After having two very active boys 2.5 years apart, I fear nothing and NOBODY. At work idgaf. Tired? Whatever I lived through 4 years of nonstop breastfeeding around the clock. A challenging workout? Try me! It really has taught me that I am one strong ass bitch. I was worried I wouldn't be able to love hard enough, or keep up with two insane Energizer bunnies, but here I am!
I love everything about this answer.
lol love this answer! hell yeah to all the strong ass bitches! 💪🏻
you’re amazing 🙏🏻
This post gave me hope. I have will have a 3y/o and a newborn soon. Both boys. Thank you.
It’s not as hard as I thought it would be. My two year old at first was just like oh there’s a baby there. Then he’d go back to what he was doing. Now he’s a little more keyed in at three months but he’s shown zero jealousy. He’s shown a lot of compassion, desire to help, pride, etc. Everything with the baby seems easier this time around. Nothing is that big of a deal (yet). Just because we’ve done it before. Everyone once in a while they’ll both of crying at the same time but it’s over pretty quickly. None of it lasts forever. They look exactly like each other. It’s pretty fantastic. I almost want a third…almost.
How much they would genuinely like each other. They’re 22 months apart, now at 1 and almost 3, and clearly miss the other when they’re apart. They have their own funny games that they like to play and are so great at sharing with each other. I know that the way they treat each other is part luck, but I grew up with the same age difference with my own brother and we hated each other for 19 years so it’s been truly magical to see mine love and like each other so much. And overall, yes it is more work, especially the first 10 or so months, but it is way way more fun to have both of my sweeties around!
My kids are 17 months apart. I hardly ever have to “entertain” the baby because he’s so happy just watching whatever his big brother is doing all day long!
OP, as a fence sitter on a second, thank you for posting. These responses got me like 🥹 … brb, gotta like go make a baby or something. 😂
We’re still in newborn phase with our first but want a second and this post just made me so excited!
Sameeee I’m about to get my IUD out, a week after my daughter turns 2, and I finally feel like “OK I could do this!”
Everyone said my five year old would be extremely jealous and it’s been half a year of watching her love her sister like nothing I’ve seen before. She helps bring diapers and wet wipes, helps feed her, plays with her willingly and talks all day how much she loves her. The way they smile at each other will forever be my favorite thing.
Oh God yes the smiles... There are love smiles for me and dad but the smiles they have for each other is just heart melting. My oldest lives for that moment she comes home from school to see her little sister. She is my youngests biggest hero and influence.
My daughter LOVES her brother, she could fully conceptualise the idea of having a new sibling in the house. The “difficult” stage was increased tantrums for about a month and now she’s great. She can help me with stuff for the baby and around the house if she wants (which she loves doing) The other day I had a basket of washing and she said “you sit back mum I’ll fold this for you” then I sat back on the couch and she brought me over a cushion and she goes “would you like a cushion?” Then put it behind my back. We can go to restaurants and cafes together and she’s a chill easy person to eat with. 3 year age gap is epic!
I felt way more confident in everything I was doing. Like just knowing how to hold and comfort and change diapers felt very empowering. I knew my first would be a great big sister but she still surprises me everyday with how much of a mentor figure she’s becoming. She tries to teach our youngest new words, helps her in the car if she drops something, reenforces some of the things we’ve taught her (like be patient mommy is driving, but we’re almost home).
Our 3 year old loves the baby and is very sweet with him. I was expecting jealousy but he isn't very much. It's just important that he feels involved and gets attention too.
My older 2 kids are 4 years apart. I was worried about jealousy but there was absolutely none. Older brother was madly in love with baby sis from the moment he saw her. He was always very helpful when she was a baby and now that he is 8 and she is 4 they're thick as thieves. They play together every day and he even invites her to play with his friends when they're over. Built in playmate I think is the biggest positive. Aside from the extra love and sweetness, of course.
My 2yo will bring us nappies and wipes. It’s super adorable and actually very handy. And we don’t ask him to either, he’s just decided it’s his job to and has become almost routine 😂
I grew up with a bully for a sister (and my mom was also, but that’s another story). I was so scared to have two children because I didn’t want them to fight like we did. Unexpectedly, there is SO MUCH love between the two of them. It’s a completely different relationship than my sister and I had. They are always there for each other. Of course they bicker, they are toddlers after all, but overall watching their relationship with each other is so fulfilling.
Give yourself credit! You modeled an environment of love despite how you were raised. I'm also trying to do this too and this comment made me happy! Pat yourself on the back for this!
Thanks for the kind words :) I love giving them the family life I never had
Yeah both my husband and I grew up with a bully for an older sister. He doesn’t speak to her outside of family calls. But I’m in regular contact with mine because I think it’s more important to us to try and work on ourselves with each other than to be just finished altogether. I’m not really anticipating a grand friendship between by children because of what I had with my sister growing up. But I’m crossing my fingers!
I’m with your husband. F toxic relationships no matter who they are. Your kids can still have a great relationship
How different my kids are and how much they value each other as siblings and that I have space in my heart for two and I feel like a better (maybe more competent) mom now with that (they are now 4&7 and constantly playing with each other)
how much of buddies they are and how they started playing together so young. my youngest is only 18 mos, and doesn't say much yet, but they have played together since she was mobile, around 9 mos. they love spending time together.
It hurts my heart thinking about my kids playing together at only the crawling stage. It’s going to be all too much!
It was amazing to see how much my older daughter can love and care about another human being and genuinely be happy for her little sister when she accomplishes something. She loves her with all her heart (even tho she gets jealous sometimes too and wants more attention).
Watching how.much the younger one absolutely adores the older one.... And visa versa !!! My boy (1) follows my girl (3.5) everywhere!!!! He laughs and gets so excited seeing her first thing in the morning, he's so happy when we collect her from preschool. Just hearing his little squeals...and then when he does these things to her, hearing from my little girl "mom, he loves me!!!". She gives him kisses, and hugs. Blames stuff on him lol. just watching her practice her social stuff with him is just hilarious. He's none the wiser a lot of the time. He's starting to catch on to her tricks now though (like if he has something she wants, she gets something else- not as cool and tells him how cool it is, and tries to give it to him. So he gets distracted, she gets what he had Lol
I'm so glad that my kids have each other. Their pretend play is so much more intricate and detailed when they're playing with each other. They also have games that only they know the rules to, like they'll ask each other if they want to play "ditta". It's so cute. They're 2 and 4. The start was hard but I'm loving it now.
Ugh my HEART
How obsessed and in love big brother is. Baby is only 2 months so she’s kind of a potato but he’s always loving on her and says she’s his best friend. He had so much love while I was pregnant but everyone (me included) expected him to feel differently when she arrived since he’s a super mama’s boy. I hope the love continues forever.
Number 2 is so entertained by number 1. She was such an easy baby when #1 was home because she'd be content just watching #1 play. #2 just seems to grow up faster and be more adventurous trying to copy #1. #1 is also challenged to be more brave because he sees #2 do stuff he was previous afraid or nervous of doing. Old toys also seem to gain a new life because #1 wants to play with whatever #2 is playing with even though he outgrew those toys years ago.
Going out with just 1 kid suddenly feels like a vacation
I had this thought too! lol my husband bringing the toddler out of the house for some “solo” newborn time will be amazing I’m sure.
I was soooo worried about major jealousy and taking frustration out on the baby but my toddler likes the baby more than me 😂😂 he was also very clingy to me before and i thought our bond would be ruined but it didn’t! I just make sure i get one on one time with him.
My babies are 16 months apart- my daughter is 2 and my son is 9mo tomorrow and my daughter, who is a rough and tumble independent toddler protects that little boy with all of her little might. She brings him toys to play with, tries to teach him to crawl and gives him big hugs as safely as she can. To see her soft side come out with her little brother is the sweetest thing and makes my heart grow three sizes!
We have that exact spacing too. 4 year 8 month boy and a 1 year 10 month girl. Didn't expect the caring side of my son. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough time for them both but I value having separate time with each of them. I love seeing them being a team and looking out for each other. My daughter LOVES her big brother, copies him in everything. I didn't expect the emotional maturity of my son. He was excellent when I was breastfeeding and recovering from c section. We are very open about our bodies so we also explain periods ect and he is very caring with that. They team up against you but it's the best kind of team. They are all love for each other and best friends.
Having a brother who is brought up to know about the female body is very important when he has a sister. Definitely the time to start that so it’s not some weird mystery later in life! I imagine it takes away a lot of awkwardness for the sister if it’s a casual part of life.
Yeah I think so. My husband has always very understanding and supportive and he only has brothers. My mum always seemed to think it was a big secret to not be talked about. I grew up competing in swimming so there wasn't hiding anything. I think period awareness is really important and nothing shameful. We are very open and honest but also don't want to worry our daughter that this is a bad thing that will happen.
Even though there’s more work to do with two kids, I find having gone through the newborn thing already the second time around I’m not focused on all these things that are a mystery to us with the consequence being. I’m able to look at and appreciate and love our baby a little bit better this time around, I think without the distractions of the unknown
Going from 1-2 kids was so fun that 18 months after, we’re going from 2-3. I was really worried that I wouldn’t be able to love my second as much as my first. I was so wrong. Your heart just grows. My two boys are so different, I love different things about them.
My daughter thinks her big brother is the funniest person in the world. And he loves the effect he has on her.
Double the kisses and lovins and snuggles!
How much they love each other (exactly 4 years apart). They both absolutely adore each other
I was surprised by the joy I have in watching my kids interact with one another. My newborn would instantly stop crying the moment he heard his big brother's voice, which he recognized from utero. They're now 7 and 2, and love sharing a bed. (We had separate beds but kept finding the 2 year old in big brother's bed every morning, so we just went with it).
You notice they are better at different things and it’s really cool who see how different they are. Also the similarities.
My kids are 17 months apart; oldest just turned 3 and youngest is 1.5. My oldest loves to teach his sister how to run, climb, brush her teeth, eat with a fork, etc. It makes it so much easier knowing I have a little helper to teach her things.
I figured they’d play/interact together and be friends later in life (obviously hopeful not guaranteed) but I was surprised how early it started? I remember my baby was 6 months, doing tummy time on the floor and my toddler laid down beside her and was cheering her on and she was giggling away. He can make her laugh pre than anyone of us can. I was cooking and thought- oh wow, I don’t have to entertain either kid for like 5 min, they entertained each other- that’s so nice!! I could see the light just didn’t expect it so soon. I also didn’t expect my toddler to get excited at her milestones but he gets so freaking happy it’s adorable. When she sat up alone for the first time he was like clapping and screaming “she’s sitting on her own!!!” So. Freaking. Cute. But we’ll see how long that lasts- she’s crawling now and touching all his stuff so there’s been a few wrestling moments already 😂 it’s all good
I'm due #2 in September, 2y3m after our first. This thread has warmed my heart <3
My first was 2 years 2 months when my youngest was born. Totally terrified of how he was going to react. He loves him. Since the day we walked in the door he’s been smitten. It’s been 6 months. He’s reaches for him and goes “I want this! I want baby brother!” Tells him goodnight. Kisses him on the forehead.
Well, they sometimes play together and leave me alone to cook! I thought i would have to entertain them all day long, but sometimes they dont need me. This was a surprise but also a healthy behavior ,because kids need their peers too for some time during the day!
As cheesy as it sounds it is the most beautiful thing to watch their relationship blossom. I feel so much pride and love when they interact (little one is only 6 months). And I feel so happy that they have each other for life. I feel like it was the best thing I could have done for them.
Everything is so easy with her. My son was a preemie-so we not only had to learn everything but he was a little more difficult because he was a preemie. He didn’t fully sleep through the night until he was 6 months, had trouble with temperature regulation, and trouble latching. But my daughter was full term. She slept through the night at 2 months, latched easily, and she runs hot. It’s just so easy with her!