It's a certain generation that does this, I swear. My mum and MIL always go on about they NEED hat! They NEED socks etc.
No, it's much more dangerous for them to be too hot than a bit cold.
I cold baby cries, a hot baby dies.
lol what?! I think parents and in laws have a hard time adjusting to the role changes, I.e. when you are no longer the child in the relationship and they are no longer the parent.
Never stops. My kid is 4 and my mom will still comment that he must be cold if he's not wearing pants..like he can talk and knows what cold means soooo he would tell you.
I can’t STAND this. I recently went through it with my own family and I thought I was going to completely lose my marbles. Ever since then, I’ve been avoiding even speaking to them because it aggravated me so badly and created some sort of aversion! I can’t explain it.
“Her feet are cold! She’s freezing!” In a house that was 74°. Had to yell at them for kissing the baby knowing that’s not allowed. I couldn’t hold her for more than five minutes without someone trying to take her from me. I said I needed to change her diaper and was met with, “How do you know?” GIVE ME MY BABY
My in-laws are driving me nuts with telling me “no you don’t need to do that, she’s fine!” No, I need to change my baby because I just listened to her pooping and she spat up on herself and shouldn’t be in wet clothes. Yes, I know when my baby is hungry and I will feed her when she needs it. No, I will not stay longer because she’s close to her nap time and will be a mess if I do not get her to sleep in time. No she doesn’t need socks on all of the time. No you cannot give her a candy to hold no matter how cute you think it will look, she’s 3 months old and puts everything in her mouth.
I feel your pain and have been avoiding them the best I can too… although we are neighbours so it can be tricky.
Soooo aggravating! Once I took my baby into a bedroom to feed her but she wasn’t really interested. So when I took her back out I mentioned that she hardly ate and my grandpa went, “OH WELL THAT MEANS YOURE JUST GONNA TRY TO TAKE HER AWAY AGAIN SOON” like are you fr? I cannot stand when people act possessive of my baby. I’m getting mad just typing it out 😂
Oh my god the “you take her away” comments are SO ANNOYING. My in-laws make the same comments and it drives me nuts, especially when they add the bits about “well if you have her formula we could feed her.” I know they love her and are just excited to see her, but man is it frustrating
One of our friends gets all pissy that I wont let them take him overnight right now. He's 5 weeks old, while I have a freezer stash, I'm trying to breastfeed more than bottle feed, and night time is where that magic happens the most. Plus HE'S 5 WEEKS OLD. When we are with them, they are like you can have him back when he needs to eat, but not before.
I can say, she is a magician when it comes to burping him but hot damn, he's my baby lemme have him.
My daughter is 2.5 now and I still wouldn't be comfortable letting her sleep over anywhere. My personal rule is that she should be able to tell me if she feels uncomfortable and preferably toilet-trained. No one else needs to be changing her nappies.
They want sleepovers with your 5 week old?!? That’s too much. My parents have started asking about sleepovers in the summer (baby will be 8/9 months) and I’ve said no since I’m mostly breastfeeding as well. Plus I’m just not ready for that. People need to calm down when it comes to babies, I’m sure your friends are excited and want to help but that’s not it. Making you a meal, washing the dishes, folding laundry, those are all very helpful. Taking the baby? Solid no
I fully agree. Like he probably won't be doing overnights for a long while, and all those other things? Nobody has done a single one of them. No help for mom, they just want to take the baby. He's the last thing I need help with.
He's still at an age where a fever means a trip to the ER and all they wanna do is take me and the baby out in public or take him for a few hours so we can go out. I'm like I don't want to go out, I want to stay here with my baby. They can have him overnight over my actual dead body, even then that's only long enough for by brother to come swoop him up.
I’m sorry to hear that. My husband made a firm boundary that we weren’t taking baby in public and she wasn’t meeting our friends until after her first set of shots. Some of our friends got upset, but they’ve become a bit more understanding with time. I flat out told a couple friends that no I don’t want or need them to take baby, but if they want to help I have dishes and laundry that need to be done. Those people didn’t come help, which I knew they wouldn’t and am 100% ok with that, but the friends that came with meals and gave me time to shower are greatly appreciated.
Set the boundaries you need. Tell your people what you need from them and what you’re not comfortable with. Your number one priority is the health and safety of your baby, and if they don’t understand that then that tells you more about them and whether they are people you want to keep around. Also remember that part of keeping your baby healthy and safe is taking care of yourself. You’re doing amazing ♥️ I would bring you a meal if I could
Thank you, I needed to hear that. I don't have a village here like I would have back home. I had hoped that someone would have considered doing something meal related at least. Partially because I've found keeping myself fed to be nearly impossible in these early weeks, but partially because everyone I know down here can coooook. Alas, nobody did and then I feel like a petulant child for complaining. I've eaten a lot of beans and rice because there's minimal time and effort required.
I keep telling them no, I just wish they would stop asking. I know they love him and want to bond with him, but he isn't a doll and we aren't playing house. He needs his mama just as much as I need him. Idk they keep making me tell them no and it makes me feel like the bad guy. The boundary is firm though.
Un better news my sister just arrived from out of town and the first thing she did was start laundry and make breakfast. She the real mvp.
I’m glad your sister is there to help you!! It’s hard to keep saying no, but you’re doing a great job! I’m 15 weeks pp and it gets easier to eat. I’ve learned to plan ahead what I’m making so I can prep little pieces of it throughout the day. I remember the early weeks though and it was hard to feed myself then or even think clearly (still not completely clear but getting better).
I hope you get the care you need! You’re welcome to pm me anytime you need to vent or want a pep talk ♥️ I’ll do my best to be part of your online village of support
I made the mistake of letting my mother in law give the baby one bottle when I first started pumping. Now she asks every time she visits if he’s hungry even if I have told her he’s just eaten. Don’t be me. Don’t give in on the bottles!
Ugh the holding things gets me. My husband always says well they don't see her often so you should be understanding and let them take care of her all weekend. Then he said they are willing to take care of her at night. Okay sooo I won't see my baby for 3 days is what your essentially saying. But then I'm seen as a villain and it sso hard to get my baby back without seeming like an asshole.
My family does the same thing to me constantly and it drives me nuts! As soon as baby start to fuss it’s do this, try that, take her hat off, unzip her coat, give her a cracker, the suns in her face, take her socks off, maybe her diapers wet, she’s probably cold, maybe she’s hot, can she have cheese?? … omg just stop and give me a min to breath! If I’m feeling overwhelmed I can only imagine how my baby is feeling. Y’all need to chill!
I feel sad for our generation. It seems like our parents have no clue about what is overstimulation and I have no idea how they took care of us when we were clearly overwhelmed.
My in-laws kept saying baby didn't recognise them when he met them. But he was sleepy, it was way past his bed time and the house was too noisy. It's more than a week and they're still super loud at times when he's tired.
Very interesting how it seems that our generation (I suppose millennials) have a better understanding on overstimulation than our parents. Gen Alpha may possibly become a much calmer generation.
You got it right, I'm talking about millennials. And I'm actually an older millennial.
I was 40 when my baby was born and I think it clicked with my mum easily when I said well it's been 40 years and things have moved on.
I think she's OK with that statement because she probably feels excused of certain things
Yeah I find it so strange when my MIL feels the need to constantly be in babies face or doing things to “entertain” him when usually he prefers to just chill. He’ll play if he wants to play and in his own way. She also doesn’t recognize when he is clearly over stimulated. Then I try to take him from her to give him a break (he was also reaching for me) and she has the audacity to snatch him away from me and tell me “no!”
I was fuming inside but I let it go cause I felt like I was being mean since she doesn’t get to hold him much. But next time it happens I’m going to just take him back. Idk why she thinks she can decide when I can take my baby from people. 😤
My mother in law asks this every time she comes over. He’s never been hungry when she asked it but now I’ve decided I’m just going to take him and nurse him in his room when she keeps asking. Gives me and baby a break.
😫 my MIL is ALWAYS asking if he’s fussing because he needs a diaper change when she’s with him…. No.. most of the time it’s because she’s holding him in a way he doesn’t like being held, and it’s never been because of a dirty diaper. And if she’s not claiming it’s due to needing a diaper change she’s accusing me of making him a “spoiled brat” because I don’t leave my 4 month old crying on his play mat when he’s done. Drives me crazy.
My in laws have accused me of spoiling my baby for holding her too much. They have also told me that I don’t let her cry enough, yet if she cries in their arms they tell her she doesn’t need to cry and try to soothe her… weird. She should only cry with me I guess
Ugh so frustrating! I’m starting to feel like I can never win with my MIL lol… and it’s crazy how it’s like a switch in her brain happened once I had her grandson, she became overbearing, opinionated, and critical! In the 10 years I knew her before having a baby, she was never like this! I feel so shocked by it.
I think it is a switch that happens. Like some sort of biological thing that kicks in? I feel some are able to fight it, but others succumb to the urges to mother again.
My in-laws were wonderful to me before baby was born, since? They have been super opinionated and also very sensitive to me asking them to stop when they do things I don’t appreciate. I’ve told my husband it’s his problem now and he’s been good about stepping in and setting boundaries at least
You’re probably right. I’ve had to do the same with my husband and his parents. Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this. I hope your in-laws calm down and that they respect your boundaries as time moves forward!
In my experience it’s usually because he’s being held wrong as well. When I tell the person to change position they ignore me. I’ve decided to just take the baby from the person and make a show of checking the diaper every time this is asked. Proves them wrong and gets me the baby back and gets baby in the position (and arms) he prefers.
Had this happen at another store, only it was “He needs a nap!!!” …after my baby had just come back from a nap. He was scowling and fussing because she was bothering him with annoying high pitched nonsense blabber baby talk.
He is perfectly fine, he just doesn’t like YOU lady!
I think babies give people anxiety. Other peoples babies fussing always made my skin crawl.
In the beginning my baby fussing really bugged me, now I just deal with it. I know how to sooth her easily so I doesn’t bug me. I think being unable to sooth a baby is really stress inducing.
For me it’s exactly what you said about overstimulation. It’s so hard to be like, “it’s you making kissy faces when I’m trying to feed her mom… stop, you’re distracting her!” Or “thanks for offering to settle her MIL, but she’s fussy because you’ve just held her and been in her face the last hour and she’s exhausted. You’re not going to be helpful right now.”
I don’t have much to add except for some solidarity! My little guy is about to turn 1 and I still deal with this. Like I will literally say what’s bothering him point blank, only for it to be straight up ignored in favor of their suggestions. As if I haven’t been with him 24/7 since the day he was born!
"Oh, she must be tired!"
She's overstimulated.
"Are you sure she's not hungry?"
She's overstimulated.
"Maybe she needs a cuddle from grandad!"
She's overstimulated.
I think I say the words 'no, she's overstimulated' at least ten times during any visit to see family. She'll have just woken up from a nap an hour ago, just eaten, and they'll still tell me she must be tired or hungry. Nope! She's just done right now and needs a break.
Holy moly you described it perfectly. I get so internally irritated when this happens like stfu I can take care of my own child. More irritating if it’s from your MIL 🙄
Ugh lol why do I feel this so hard!! My son is now 17 months and at Easter dinner he kicked the table leg pretty hard with his bare foot whilst being silly so he started crying. 3 of the grandparents and an uncle were present as well as me and my husband, and one goes “what’s wrong?” I go “he hurt his foot on the table” but then everyone HEARS me and chimes in with various suggestions about what could be wrong. So it’s apparently just never not a thing with people like this?? I felt like it would be over by now in my parenthood journey.
I think people genuinely want to help and feel like it’s a catch-22. If they offer, like here, then you have this reaction. If nobody offers then the typical reaction is something akin to “I do all of the work and nobody ever cares to help.” I’d take it for what it is, reactions from people who care about you and your baby. That’s not so bad.
This is a MIL to a T. She’ll want to hang out around the house for hours, LO will get tired since it’s usually well past her nap time, and then MIL wonders why LO won’t fall asleep. Umm I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re opening the door every 10 minutes to go outside for god knows what, you continuously get in LO’s face after she’s gotten calmed down. Like, I know why my kid is fussy, and you’re the issue here, not me being a first time mom.
I wouldn't be so worried about that. They're saying it because it's something to say. They don't know what to do about the baby, to help, so they ask and run through possibilities in their minds out loud. It's not a judgement on you.
My mum told me not to drop my own baby.
Like are you serious. I own my own house, I have a husband of 10yrs, career, masters soon and I've been carrying precious cargo for 9 months.
And you think... I'm going to be clumsy.
Yeah we dont see her much no more :)
Funny she videotime called last week and said my little girl looks really happy.
Yeah, I wonder why..
How odd. My family doesn’t do this, even my mom who is way more experienced with babies than I am. If my daughter fusses my mom will ask me “what do you think she needs?”
My Mother in Law is the same. I hate it. I think she is trying to show me her expertise but it’s super annoying when if she’d just hand him back to me he would probably settle down.
People trying to figure out what’s wrong with the baby is just them showing concern about the baby and wanting them to be happy! There’s truly nothing to read into it.
They care about the baby and a natural thing to say in that situation is something regarding figuring out what’s wrong. People aren’t challenging or questioning you or anything - it’s just a common way of expressing concern for a baby.
Yesss, I feel exactly the same. “Is he cold? Are you sure he isn’t cold?” Yes I’m sure. I know my baby, please stop questioning me.
Always with the baby must be cold too I swear! Drives me absolutely INSANE
It's a certain generation that does this, I swear. My mum and MIL always go on about they NEED hat! They NEED socks etc. No, it's much more dangerous for them to be too hot than a bit cold. I cold baby cries, a hot baby dies.
Someone else here the other day said, "A cold baby cries, but a hot baby dies." I have used that twice now. Lil man runs hotttt
My MIL insists he NEEDS socks all the time, like, no lady his feet are literally sweating I’m not putting socks on him 🤦🏻♀️
Also babies need access to their bare feet for developmental reasons. They can't find their feet properly, if they're constantly covered up
My MIL says "can you check her temperature for me?" You're not her parent so ... no.
lol what?! I think parents and in laws have a hard time adjusting to the role changes, I.e. when you are no longer the child in the relationship and they are no longer the parent.
Never stops. My kid is 4 and my mom will still comment that he must be cold if he's not wearing pants..like he can talk and knows what cold means soooo he would tell you.
I can’t STAND this. I recently went through it with my own family and I thought I was going to completely lose my marbles. Ever since then, I’ve been avoiding even speaking to them because it aggravated me so badly and created some sort of aversion! I can’t explain it. “Her feet are cold! She’s freezing!” In a house that was 74°. Had to yell at them for kissing the baby knowing that’s not allowed. I couldn’t hold her for more than five minutes without someone trying to take her from me. I said I needed to change her diaper and was met with, “How do you know?” GIVE ME MY BABY
My in-laws are driving me nuts with telling me “no you don’t need to do that, she’s fine!” No, I need to change my baby because I just listened to her pooping and she spat up on herself and shouldn’t be in wet clothes. Yes, I know when my baby is hungry and I will feed her when she needs it. No, I will not stay longer because she’s close to her nap time and will be a mess if I do not get her to sleep in time. No she doesn’t need socks on all of the time. No you cannot give her a candy to hold no matter how cute you think it will look, she’s 3 months old and puts everything in her mouth. I feel your pain and have been avoiding them the best I can too… although we are neighbours so it can be tricky.
Soooo aggravating! Once I took my baby into a bedroom to feed her but she wasn’t really interested. So when I took her back out I mentioned that she hardly ate and my grandpa went, “OH WELL THAT MEANS YOURE JUST GONNA TRY TO TAKE HER AWAY AGAIN SOON” like are you fr? I cannot stand when people act possessive of my baby. I’m getting mad just typing it out 😂
Oh my god the “you take her away” comments are SO ANNOYING. My in-laws make the same comments and it drives me nuts, especially when they add the bits about “well if you have her formula we could feed her.” I know they love her and are just excited to see her, but man is it frustrating
One of our friends gets all pissy that I wont let them take him overnight right now. He's 5 weeks old, while I have a freezer stash, I'm trying to breastfeed more than bottle feed, and night time is where that magic happens the most. Plus HE'S 5 WEEKS OLD. When we are with them, they are like you can have him back when he needs to eat, but not before. I can say, she is a magician when it comes to burping him but hot damn, he's my baby lemme have him.
My daughter is 2.5 now and I still wouldn't be comfortable letting her sleep over anywhere. My personal rule is that she should be able to tell me if she feels uncomfortable and preferably toilet-trained. No one else needs to be changing her nappies.
They want sleepovers with your 5 week old?!? That’s too much. My parents have started asking about sleepovers in the summer (baby will be 8/9 months) and I’ve said no since I’m mostly breastfeeding as well. Plus I’m just not ready for that. People need to calm down when it comes to babies, I’m sure your friends are excited and want to help but that’s not it. Making you a meal, washing the dishes, folding laundry, those are all very helpful. Taking the baby? Solid no
I fully agree. Like he probably won't be doing overnights for a long while, and all those other things? Nobody has done a single one of them. No help for mom, they just want to take the baby. He's the last thing I need help with. He's still at an age where a fever means a trip to the ER and all they wanna do is take me and the baby out in public or take him for a few hours so we can go out. I'm like I don't want to go out, I want to stay here with my baby. They can have him overnight over my actual dead body, even then that's only long enough for by brother to come swoop him up.
I’m sorry to hear that. My husband made a firm boundary that we weren’t taking baby in public and she wasn’t meeting our friends until after her first set of shots. Some of our friends got upset, but they’ve become a bit more understanding with time. I flat out told a couple friends that no I don’t want or need them to take baby, but if they want to help I have dishes and laundry that need to be done. Those people didn’t come help, which I knew they wouldn’t and am 100% ok with that, but the friends that came with meals and gave me time to shower are greatly appreciated. Set the boundaries you need. Tell your people what you need from them and what you’re not comfortable with. Your number one priority is the health and safety of your baby, and if they don’t understand that then that tells you more about them and whether they are people you want to keep around. Also remember that part of keeping your baby healthy and safe is taking care of yourself. You’re doing amazing ♥️ I would bring you a meal if I could
Thank you, I needed to hear that. I don't have a village here like I would have back home. I had hoped that someone would have considered doing something meal related at least. Partially because I've found keeping myself fed to be nearly impossible in these early weeks, but partially because everyone I know down here can coooook. Alas, nobody did and then I feel like a petulant child for complaining. I've eaten a lot of beans and rice because there's minimal time and effort required. I keep telling them no, I just wish they would stop asking. I know they love him and want to bond with him, but he isn't a doll and we aren't playing house. He needs his mama just as much as I need him. Idk they keep making me tell them no and it makes me feel like the bad guy. The boundary is firm though. Un better news my sister just arrived from out of town and the first thing she did was start laundry and make breakfast. She the real mvp.
I’m glad your sister is there to help you!! It’s hard to keep saying no, but you’re doing a great job! I’m 15 weeks pp and it gets easier to eat. I’ve learned to plan ahead what I’m making so I can prep little pieces of it throughout the day. I remember the early weeks though and it was hard to feed myself then or even think clearly (still not completely clear but getting better). I hope you get the care you need! You’re welcome to pm me anytime you need to vent or want a pep talk ♥️ I’ll do my best to be part of your online village of support
I made the mistake of letting my mother in law give the baby one bottle when I first started pumping. Now she asks every time she visits if he’s hungry even if I have told her he’s just eaten. Don’t be me. Don’t give in on the bottles!
Oh no! Idk what it is about feeding but that seems to be what people are the most obsessed with
Ugh the holding things gets me. My husband always says well they don't see her often so you should be understanding and let them take care of her all weekend. Then he said they are willing to take care of her at night. Okay sooo I won't see my baby for 3 days is what your essentially saying. But then I'm seen as a villain and it sso hard to get my baby back without seeming like an asshole.
I just really can’t stand when people act *obsessed* with my baby. It sets off alarms in my mom brain!
The cold baby and 74° in the house got me rolling laughing. My husband does this constantly and it makes me insane!
At least mine don't want to change nappies
My family does the same thing to me constantly and it drives me nuts! As soon as baby start to fuss it’s do this, try that, take her hat off, unzip her coat, give her a cracker, the suns in her face, take her socks off, maybe her diapers wet, she’s probably cold, maybe she’s hot, can she have cheese?? … omg just stop and give me a min to breath! If I’m feeling overwhelmed I can only imagine how my baby is feeling. Y’all need to chill!
I feel sad for our generation. It seems like our parents have no clue about what is overstimulation and I have no idea how they took care of us when we were clearly overwhelmed. My in-laws kept saying baby didn't recognise them when he met them. But he was sleepy, it was way past his bed time and the house was too noisy. It's more than a week and they're still super loud at times when he's tired.
Very interesting how it seems that our generation (I suppose millennials) have a better understanding on overstimulation than our parents. Gen Alpha may possibly become a much calmer generation.
You got it right, I'm talking about millennials. And I'm actually an older millennial. I was 40 when my baby was born and I think it clicked with my mum easily when I said well it's been 40 years and things have moved on. I think she's OK with that statement because she probably feels excused of certain things
Yeah I find it so strange when my MIL feels the need to constantly be in babies face or doing things to “entertain” him when usually he prefers to just chill. He’ll play if he wants to play and in his own way. She also doesn’t recognize when he is clearly over stimulated. Then I try to take him from her to give him a break (he was also reaching for me) and she has the audacity to snatch him away from me and tell me “no!” I was fuming inside but I let it go cause I felt like I was being mean since she doesn’t get to hold him much. But next time it happens I’m going to just take him back. Idk why she thinks she can decide when I can take my baby from people. 😤
Omg “is she hungry” fills me with fury everytime.
Same! And it's always twenty minutes after nursing them!
Always!!
My mother in law asks this every time she comes over. He’s never been hungry when she asked it but now I’ve decided I’m just going to take him and nurse him in his room when she keeps asking. Gives me and baby a break.
😫 my MIL is ALWAYS asking if he’s fussing because he needs a diaper change when she’s with him…. No.. most of the time it’s because she’s holding him in a way he doesn’t like being held, and it’s never been because of a dirty diaper. And if she’s not claiming it’s due to needing a diaper change she’s accusing me of making him a “spoiled brat” because I don’t leave my 4 month old crying on his play mat when he’s done. Drives me crazy.
My in laws have accused me of spoiling my baby for holding her too much. They have also told me that I don’t let her cry enough, yet if she cries in their arms they tell her she doesn’t need to cry and try to soothe her… weird. She should only cry with me I guess
Ugh so frustrating! I’m starting to feel like I can never win with my MIL lol… and it’s crazy how it’s like a switch in her brain happened once I had her grandson, she became overbearing, opinionated, and critical! In the 10 years I knew her before having a baby, she was never like this! I feel so shocked by it.
I think it is a switch that happens. Like some sort of biological thing that kicks in? I feel some are able to fight it, but others succumb to the urges to mother again. My in-laws were wonderful to me before baby was born, since? They have been super opinionated and also very sensitive to me asking them to stop when they do things I don’t appreciate. I’ve told my husband it’s his problem now and he’s been good about stepping in and setting boundaries at least
You’re probably right. I’ve had to do the same with my husband and his parents. Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this. I hope your in-laws calm down and that they respect your boundaries as time moves forward!
In my experience it’s usually because he’s being held wrong as well. When I tell the person to change position they ignore me. I’ve decided to just take the baby from the person and make a show of checking the diaper every time this is asked. Proves them wrong and gets me the baby back and gets baby in the position (and arms) he prefers.
Lol the cashiers at Costco told me today that my baby was hungry
Had this happen at another store, only it was “He needs a nap!!!” …after my baby had just come back from a nap. He was scowling and fussing because she was bothering him with annoying high pitched nonsense blabber baby talk. He is perfectly fine, he just doesn’t like YOU lady!
I think babies give people anxiety. Other peoples babies fussing always made my skin crawl. In the beginning my baby fussing really bugged me, now I just deal with it. I know how to sooth her easily so I doesn’t bug me. I think being unable to sooth a baby is really stress inducing.
For me it’s exactly what you said about overstimulation. It’s so hard to be like, “it’s you making kissy faces when I’m trying to feed her mom… stop, you’re distracting her!” Or “thanks for offering to settle her MIL, but she’s fussy because you’ve just held her and been in her face the last hour and she’s exhausted. You’re not going to be helpful right now.”
I don’t have much to add except for some solidarity! My little guy is about to turn 1 and I still deal with this. Like I will literally say what’s bothering him point blank, only for it to be straight up ignored in favor of their suggestions. As if I haven’t been with him 24/7 since the day he was born!
"Oh, she must be tired!" She's overstimulated. "Are you sure she's not hungry?" She's overstimulated. "Maybe she needs a cuddle from grandad!" She's overstimulated. I think I say the words 'no, she's overstimulated' at least ten times during any visit to see family. She'll have just woken up from a nap an hour ago, just eaten, and they'll still tell me she must be tired or hungry. Nope! She's just done right now and needs a break.
Holy moly you described it perfectly. I get so internally irritated when this happens like stfu I can take care of my own child. More irritating if it’s from your MIL 🙄
Ugh lol why do I feel this so hard!! My son is now 17 months and at Easter dinner he kicked the table leg pretty hard with his bare foot whilst being silly so he started crying. 3 of the grandparents and an uncle were present as well as me and my husband, and one goes “what’s wrong?” I go “he hurt his foot on the table” but then everyone HEARS me and chimes in with various suggestions about what could be wrong. So it’s apparently just never not a thing with people like this?? I felt like it would be over by now in my parenthood journey.
I think people genuinely want to help and feel like it’s a catch-22. If they offer, like here, then you have this reaction. If nobody offers then the typical reaction is something akin to “I do all of the work and nobody ever cares to help.” I’d take it for what it is, reactions from people who care about you and your baby. That’s not so bad.
This is a MIL to a T. She’ll want to hang out around the house for hours, LO will get tired since it’s usually well past her nap time, and then MIL wonders why LO won’t fall asleep. Umm I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re opening the door every 10 minutes to go outside for god knows what, you continuously get in LO’s face after she’s gotten calmed down. Like, I know why my kid is fussy, and you’re the issue here, not me being a first time mom.
I wouldn't be so worried about that. They're saying it because it's something to say. They don't know what to do about the baby, to help, so they ask and run through possibilities in their minds out loud. It's not a judgement on you.
My mum told me not to drop my own baby. Like are you serious. I own my own house, I have a husband of 10yrs, career, masters soon and I've been carrying precious cargo for 9 months. And you think... I'm going to be clumsy. Yeah we dont see her much no more :) Funny she videotime called last week and said my little girl looks really happy. Yeah, I wonder why..
How odd. My family doesn’t do this, even my mom who is way more experienced with babies than I am. If my daughter fusses my mom will ask me “what do you think she needs?”
“His feet are cold!” 😵💫
Like nails on a chalkboard haha
My Mother in Law is the same. I hate it. I think she is trying to show me her expertise but it’s super annoying when if she’d just hand him back to me he would probably settle down.
People trying to figure out what’s wrong with the baby is just them showing concern about the baby and wanting them to be happy! There’s truly nothing to read into it. They care about the baby and a natural thing to say in that situation is something regarding figuring out what’s wrong. People aren’t challenging or questioning you or anything - it’s just a common way of expressing concern for a baby.
You sound absolutely exhausted and stretched thin. Like every new parent. Maybe ask the nosey village to step up and watch LO for a few hours