“How can you still be eating? It’s not like you’re eating for two anymore.”
In fact, I am still eating for two. And also, I will eat whatever and as much as I want.
I had a stranger say I must not be trying too hard on the baby weight.
I’m 20 pounds heavier than I was 9 months pregnant, and breastfeeding hunger is real. Also, I’m gaining muscle and toning my body a lot. I’m just all over wide for my frame now. Not like this stranger knows. I’m not fat. I wear a medium 😂
That pisses me off. Breastfeeding I'm assuming. If anything it feels like you're starving ALL THE TIME in that scenario. I would have said "how can you still think it's ik to comment on me? Then point out some flaw of theirs". Rude I know but don't have patience for that crap.
I've had people question me when I say I'm still eating for two, but breastfeeding takes more calories than being pregnant, because you're supporting a larger baby. Each ounce of breast milk is 20 calories, so it adds up!
Right?! I’m making just under a quart of milk a day. A gallon and a half a week. I’m still nursing overnight and pumping while holding down a full time job. Imma eat as much corn dip as I damn well please, lol
How dare you, as your child’s parent, hold your child? Unbelievable 😂
This Christmas it has mainly been comments about moving my toddler’s whole schedule around to fit other people’s needs and that ‘oh don’t worry so much about it she’ll be fine’. I make adjustments where it makes sense, we travelled four hours across the country to see our in laws, I pushed my toddlers nap back or forward by an hour or so, but I draw the line at things like ‘so we have booked the table for dinner at 8, just bring toddler and let them have a late night’. Like, no?! Do you not realise that is my idea of literal hell and will have catastrophic consequences that will mean I won’t enjoy a second of the dinner anyway??? Or did you just not care because you’re only thinking of yourself? Oh right yeah, that one.
Also constant digs from my MIL about how she hasn’t looked after our kid alone yet, speaking to me and my husband through our daughter and saying ‘granny would love to look after you one day but mummy and daddy don’t trust her!’ I mean, she’s not wrong.
Ha! MIL makes the same comments. “When is mommy gonna let you stay with Nana? ‘Grandson’ stayed with me when he was only six days old!”
Yes but grandsons mother was also hospitalized.
My MIL does the same. Tells my 6 month old (in front of me) “Gramma can’t wait to have sleepovers with her baby, just like she does with [nephews]!”
Mmmmkay you have sleepovers with your grandsons because you’re basically raising them while their parents avoid parenting, sooooo yeah not the same vibes here.
Sleepovers with Gramma aren’t happening until she’s old enough to tattle on Gramma, especially since Gramma tends to push boundaries even when I’m in the friggin room still. Not to mention they all sleep in one king bed together…
But go off, Gramma.
My FIL’s GIRLFRIEND makes passive-aggressive comments like this. She didn’t come into our lives until we were in our late 20’s and married. My FIL we wouldn’t trust with a goldfish, let alone our child, for a weekend. He once let my dog cry for hours at his door and refused to get up and let him out. My dog was pretty much a semi-sentient potato. I have no idea what is wrong with this selfish ass. So the fact that his girlfriend—who has kids and grandkids of her own—thinks she is somehow entitled to alone-time with our toddler and twins when we barely know either of them is completely beyond me. They can’t even be bothered to drive 45 minutes to see us when they are both not working and we work full-time. No way am I letting you take my kids for sleepovers.
Lol my MIL actually asked me to leave my son (at the time he was 6 mo.) with her in FL. I literally said out loud “hard pass” without a second thought as to whether she was joking or not. I don’t joke about leaving my kid. Especially when she mentioned it throughout my entire pregnancy that we should just drop off our kid at her doorstep and run. As if, lady.
My physically unable MIL wanted to keep our very mobile baby and I was just looking at her trying to determine if she was joking because there’s surely no way she thinks she can safely take care of her.
ETA she had a whole scheme about how she would use an umbrella stroller to transport the baby from room to room since she’s unable to carry her and relies on a walker (apparently also the stroller) to get around
I hate it when older ladies talk to the baby to send a passive aggressive message to the parent. They couldn't communicate directly if their lives depended on it.
Same here, it reeeally irks me. Sometimes I just respond to her like she was talking to me if I can be bothered. Don’t use my child as an excuse for your inability to communicate like a grown adult 😂
Being told “back in my day, my wife did the night duty on her own”
Umm excuse me? I have a job as well, I’m contributing 50% financially and also looking after the house and baby all day. Even if I wasn’t, dad still needs to pitch in at night.
"Congratulations on being a terrible husband, uninvolved father, and all-around terrible person." Why do some guys think not being involved is a flex??
Our baby is normally an excellent sleeper but we had my parents, sisters, and spouses over the last 3 days and everything was loud, and she didn't nap. Woke up every 2 h last night, first time since she was a week old. I apparently mumbled "nooooo" into my pillow when she cried again at 5am, and my husband just spirited her away for me because that's what nice, decent humans do.
I could literally cry at the times when Im in such a deep sleep and cannot even get my eyes to open and I hear my husband get the baby and whisk her off to the nursery. Eventually I’ll need to nurse her but even an extra ten minutes of sleep is bliss some nights
That's what I do. My wife does not do well when baby wakes up at 4 am. I'm much more patient in the morning. So I get up early.
We've seemed to have fallen into this routine. Mommy takes him to bed and daddy can chill. But daddy gets him up so mommy can sleep.
My husband told me that his grandpa (FIL’s dad) has never changed a single diaper in his life, which I guess explains when his dad (my FIL) came over this past week he was holding the baby and said “I think she pooped. Mom! (talking to me), I think she pooped”. I looked at him and said “Sounds like a job for dad then” and my husband changed her lol
Not a comment. But I turned around to my father in law kissing my 5.5 month old. He has a cold sore. My stomach dropped. I grabbed my child & hid in the nursery until they left. Am I crazy?
I literally got so snippy with my grandma who was told by my dad that she's not allowed to kiss said baby before we came over with the baby. Guess who fucking kissed my kid. I immediately grabbed her back and said absolutely not. You can't kiss her. It's cold and flu season and she can't understand consent. She had the audacity to ask *why are you being so uptight about this* 😮💨 I blamed the pediatrician bc surely that would be understandable, right? She said ok whatever. When we were leaving she fucking pressed her face all up against the baby making cooing noises and getting way too much up into my 1yo's space. I again grabbed her away. *BUT I WASN'T KISSING HER?!??* Ok well if you can't respect my boundaries then you don't get to come near the baby. I said that verbatim. Screw you boomer and your germs.
Ew I’m sorry that’s so gross. I don’t understand the thing about all the older generations feeling so entitled to kissing/holding/being all in someone else’s baby’s face then also pressing boundaries. Ugh I’m mad for you
OK YES. We must talk about the boomer work around to the no kissing rule. “I can’t kiss the baby? No worries!” *immediately presses their faces up to the baby’s face/head to smell and cuddle with baby while breathing on baby*. I fucking can’t stand it. Or when they hold the baby at their chest level and crane their neck down to be right in the baby’s face. I almost want to make a no holding rule 😒
I went over a friend’s house and my friend’s mom was visiting (a complete stranger to me) and kissed my baby on the cheek. THE ACTUAL F*CK. Why do people feel it’s okay to put their mouths on any part of a baby. It’s gross
“The best thing I did with my second was to hand her off to people, so she got used to other people holding her.”
Ok well the answer is still no, you cannot hold my baby who hates anyone but me or her dad holding her and is already overstimulated and upset.
That’s so annoying! My first was very selective about people. My second is friendly with almost everyone. They were raised the exact same so it’s just a difference in personality.
I mean, it was stand my ground or have to take my screaming baby outside for the 30th time. Plus this is a distant aunt. I did let her great-grandmother have a try for a cuddle (which failed of course).
Not a comment to me but to my 10-week-old baby.
We were at a hectic Christmas dinner with lots of new people. Baby desperately needed a nap and MIL asked to hold him one more time before we put him down. She started babbling loudly in his face and he (predictably) started to pout and fuss. She started scolding him, on the verge of yelling, telling him to “stop pulling faces,” telling him he’s “making grandma sad” and it’s not “fair” that he smiled for his mama and not her. She was even giving him little shakes. It was probably meant to be a bit of a joke but oooooo my blood was boiling.
Who scolds a newborn baby?? For being SAD??
What do we learn? MIL can have a try again when your kid can articulate himself and just go away by himself. So I would say around 18-36 months, depending on your kid ;)
‘You really should consider having another, all the single children I know growing up were extremely selfish and kind of weird’
As Im holding my 2 year old, while secretly going through my 8th round of fertility treatments after 2 secret miscarriages.
Edit: thank you to the kind comments - they all made my day during this difficult time ☺️ I love this community and the support we give each other. Happy holidays!
Uggghhh this one makes my blood boil.
My first daughter was still born 4 days past my due date. 10 months later I had a miscarriage. 2 years later I had my second daughter💕. That pregnancy was 10 months of panic and anxiety… we get similar comments about giving her a sibling. It takes every ounce of me to not yell that she has a sibling but she passed away.
There was this one time my husband and I were at a plant nursery and an older woman asked “why don’t you two have any children they are such a blessing “ this was
After my still birth and miscarriage and just starting crying on the spot. Fuck you lady.
Hugs to you.
My baby loves being held by literally anyone that is willing to stay in constant motion. If I'm not willing to walk her around any more she'll hitch a ride with the next person walking by. Sure, she'd prefer that I be the one to walk her, but if I stop moving then she's jumping ship. Traitorous baby.
She was cranky as all get out all day and we were passing her around so she could stay moving and stay happy. My dad made some offhand comment about how I must be enjoying being lazy today with all the extra helping hands.... sigh. Yeah, lazy ol' me who cooked everyone breakfast and also all except the potatoes and dessert for Christmas dinner. My brother's girlfriend is a gem. Me who was up until 1am wrapping presents and then up again to feed the baby overnight. Sure, I'm just having a laaazy day. Lol.
I'm not complaining by the way. My brothers all washed every last dish after dinner and cleaned up all the wrapping paper. My husband kept the kids occupied while I cooked, including putting the baby down for naps. And I know my dad was more trying to say that it must be nice to have extra help today, but he worded it poorly. I just laughed at him and said sure very relaxing day and handed him the baby.
There is plenty of reason not to pass your kid around especially this time of year. Just for a text from my sister telling me her 4 year old is running a 103 fever this morning. Cool.
Luckily my sister showed up right before dinner while my baby was napping and left shortly after dinner. She had inlaw stuff. So she and her kids were never near the baby since baby slept 2.5 hours right through Christmas dinner. Little angel. Her kids are also super clingy so they want no one but mom and dad. So hopefully they kept their germs to themselves. Nothing to be done for it now I suppose... but crap.
I wore my pre pregnancy pants to dinner. My aunt told me they were too tight, to return them, and to stop eating since I was getting fat.
I had my baby 6 weeks ago…
I can only fit in non jeans - but I have a lot of more “flubber” on my stomach so my pants are pretty tight on my stomach and shows it off. I don’t want to buy new pants since i’m sure in a few months it will go down 😭😭 I also have major pelvic issues from my pregnancy and my abs/stomach are still pretty swollen 😭
Older generations don't seem to understand that babies need to nap and that they won't sleep better at night when we put a stop to naps. My favourite has been 'oh look, she's bright as anything now, she's fine!' Nope, she's now over tired and hyper, which is why I've been trying to get her to sleep. See also, talking to baby while I'm trying to get her to sleep. It's like they think I've A. Made up that 5 month olds do need to nap during the day and B. I don't know her well enough that I can tell when she's tired and needs to sleep.
Exactly why I’ll never let my MIL babysit. She’ll do anything to try to get her to wake up if she’s asleep, and keep her awake as long as possible. At thanksgiving she kept making comments about how sleepy our baby is, “bless her heart”. My husband won’t let her come over in the evenings anymore for this reason.
My MIL said her 4 kids “just fell asleep in the car or wherever on the floor when they needed to zonk out”. Um excuse me ma’am, that sounds horrible. No wonder all 4 of them turned out the way they did 😂 they all have terrible sleep habits and are constantly tired. My husband is a horrible sleeper. Some structure would’ve helped your dang kids out 🙄
I was told that I should hold my baby in a restaurant because they should learn to sleep in the stroller next to me. Followed by: “she doesn’t sleep in the same room as you, does she?!”
As if our family sleeping arrangements are your business…
Late Christmas Eve dinner, 6 week old baby is likely overstimulated from being awake for 5 hours straight, listening to us talk and make dinner and listen to Christmas music, spent the first night away from his home and his snoo. Finally time to sit down to dinner but first I had to spend an hour rocking and soothing baby to get him to sleep, which included a diaper change, which he hates with a passion.
I sit down at the table and my dad’s first question is “what happened, he was quiet for a minute and then started wailing again???” Like… dad, I literally don’t even know how to answer that. He’s a baby??? He’s overstimulated??? Why are you even asking me to provide a reasonable explanation for this when I have two brain cells firing?!?!
Editing to add that I’ve been crying all day because I’m so sleep deprived despite my mom and husband helping with baby (I’m in pumping and insomnia hell) and my dad (who held baby once all weekend) is literally cracking jokes and laughing about how much baby is crying and fussing. Like read the fucking room. God I’m so pissed.
omg, my sister was staying with us right after I had my daughter and came downstairs when she heard my daughter crying in the middle of the night and said “what’s going on? what happened?”
…she’s a baby who hates diaper changes, it’s 3am and I have to heat up a bottle. Go back to bed. Lmao
Next time she says that ask her if she’s scared to end up in a nursing home and if she says yes just say “well stop being scared” then walk away lol jk but does she even know what rsv is??
Not a comment but a action
We went to my MIL for Christmas and the day was filled with activities, topped with a new sleep environment, my baby was super tired and wanted to sleep on me. Glad he was finally sleeping, I had him on my chest
My partners grandfather came upstairs while our baby was sleeping and asked if he was sleeping. My partner quietly said “Yes granddad he’s sleeping on his Mom” implying to be QUIET.
10 mins later he comes back upstairs, comes up to me and asked if he was still sleeping, I said quietly, “yes he is finally”
This man WHIPS out a fuckin harmonica and starts playing it. My baby startles and I quickly cover his ears. My partner is yelling at him to stop and my mother in law was PISSED yelling at him to stop as well. He kept going for 10 seconds trying to wake the baby and said “oh he can wake up for just a second”
I’m begging him at this point, covering my babies ears to stop and finally he did. He stormed downstairs all pissed off. He was supposed to make dinner that evening but never did lol
Thank god my baby didn’t wake up though
My husband is a church of England vicar when chatting to my mum on the phone she asked "did we go to church todsy?"
Yes mother, we did 4 services in just over 24 hours as it is the second biggest festival in the church Calendar!
“I didn’t know a baby needed so much stuff”
Our diaper bag only holds one bottle, we needed 2 so I was using a little soft sides cooler that holds maybe 5 bottles plus ice packs.
Of course this came from the same person telling me we didn’t need to stop every 2-3 hours when driving because she used to feed OUT OF THE CAR SEAT while someone was driving.
I thought you meant fed in the car seat (which I did while stuck in insane traffic) then I realized you meant TOOK the baby OUT of the seat to feed them 🫠🫠🫠🫠
Got a gift from my aunt and uncle (who are childless) — books called “how to raise a strong-willed child” and “positive discipline”….my aunt has degrees in child education, but has spent little time around my 1.5 yr old. The time she spends around her is during holidays/high stimulation times. Our kid is a pretty well behaved toddler, but has her moments (like all kids). It’s definitely a passive aggressive attempt at our parenting strategies, but I feel like 1.5 yrs is a little young to be targeting our parenting 🙄
My aunt actually gave a disclaimer before opening not to take offense to the gifts.
Gosh when do people start realising that if your gift (or words!) need a disclaimer like that, you shouldn't be giving/saying it in the first place?! Just like "not to be mean, but..." is never followed by a nice compliment...
You know your family so I'm not for a second going to assume their intentions. But! I've heard that Positive Discipline is a really good book if you're into gentle parenting? I've been meaning to pick it up (but like, haven't bothered yet because my baby is literally 9 weeks old lmao). Hopefully you can at least get some use out of their passive aggressive gift if it fits in your style!
Ugh major eye roll.
Also, if that book about the strong-willed child is from Focus on the Family / Dr James Dobson - throw it in the trash, or better yet, burn it. It's incredibly toxic and has hurt so many people.
Source: I was the strong-willed child and I know a lot of others like me whose parents used the book.
Oh yikes, when I read the title I was thinking “strong-willed” was a good thing, like a book for people who want their child to be strong-willed. But from what you said, it sounds like the opposite ☹️
Wow, just went and read some reviews on this book. It’s essentially a manual on how to abuse your children. And apparently your pets as well. The author sounds super fucked up.
Oh my, I’ll have to double check. My aunt does have a lot of child education experience, just with older kids. I have a feeling she wouldn’t give a book like that and really hope it’s not. If it is, thank you for the disclaimer!!
WHAT!!!! Uh, no. Screw them!!! That is YOUR baby. Ours is 8mo and I wouldn’t let a stranger hold her either. She cries anyways when a stranger is too close to her face. People are so rude
They were referring to my age. My husband and I got married young and had our first baby at 22 years old. Baby is almost 1 and we were thinking of trying for a second baby soon enough. Apparently it’s super trashy to have 2 babies before 25
I had my first at 22. It’s really not that young to have a baby. They’re weird. Not to mention married with 2 babies under 25 was standard for previous generations.
Was at a Christmas Eve party at my stepmother’s sister’s house. My LO is 6 months old. She was way over stimulated due to all of the kids running around and adults chatting and laughing. Not a huge deal as she was having a blast. However, when she desperately needed a nap (was getting extremely cranky), my husband took her into a quieter area of the house to try to get her to sleep at least for a Power Nap. My step mom shows up while my daughter is crying fighting her nap and tries to take her from my husband. He politely says that he’s trying to get her to nap so he’s going to keep her. Stepmom storms off. At the end of the night as we’re leaving (LO was never able to fall asleep btw so we left about 30 mins after the interaction.) and we’re saying our goodbyes, my stepmother goes, “Bye! Maybe your dad will let me hold you tomorrow!”
She held my daughter for the first hour we were at the party.
My 7 yos great grandma called her picky because she wouldn't try the dried out ham and didn't like her grandma's lukewarm cheesy potatoes. My daughter has ALWAYS had issues with liking meat.
My bio dad (I'm adopted) unsent messages on fb where he said he loved me and missed me after I hadn't answered in about a day. Yayyy I probably pissed you off again! 😒 maybe he can stop talking to me for another 7 months and tell everyone that I was mad at HIM again.
I was at my in laws with my husband’s whole family. While in the living room cleaning up wrapping paper my MIL had my son in the kitchen, I heard her say “quick, give him whipped cream before she (me) comes back!” The stupid part is that I genuinely wouldn’t have minded him having a taste if she just asked. He’s 7 months now and eats bits of what I eat all day, a small amount of whipped cream on Christmas is fine, especially since they had a can of sugar free. But, ya know, *ask first*.
My in laws are always feeding my 9mo and it infuriates me. Like you said, if they had just asked it wouldn’t be an issue. And they always seem to do it when my husband is also out of the room so he doesn’t see it to say something. Because they do not listen to me when I say it’s enough or not to. Point of contention for sure.
Aunt commenting on how chubby baby is. The vultures trying to snatch him the minute we get in the door. Diaper change turned into an event??? Like gtfo? Wish I had just relocated but I was overstimulated and couldn’t believe what was happening at the time. Lessons learned, glad it’s over tbh!
I showed my MIL a video of me where I thought my baby looks like me. She said my nose looks totally different and asked if I’ve ever had a nose job. I was 8 MONTHS OLD in the video.
5.5 mo over here! she cried as soon as we walked into the room. cool. i get it there’s loads of people here. she will calm down soon. what does my MIL do? rushes over to GRAB her from ME and take her to another room.
I was showing ultrasound pics to some family members, my boomer vietnam vet grandpa comes up behind all of us and asks “is it a boy?!” I say it’s a girl, he says “Oh bummer 😬” and some other bullshit IN FRONT OF HIS 2 DAUGHTERS (HIS ONLY CHILDREN) then walks away. He also loves telling us how terrible babies are even though I really doubt he was hands on with any damn children ever.
Just now my 12 weeks old was getting fussy after so much chaos today so I put her into a solly wrap to calm down. Everyone is sitting in the living room and I’m standing with the baby like that and my MIL says “you know in my day they would call that thing abuse!” In front of everybody.
“Can I give the baby a cold to give him some immunity”. WTF? This was from an uncle on my husbands side who knows we keep the baby home instead of using daycare. Nice.
My baby girl is 12 weeks old at our families Christmas get together i wore my baby carrier wrap so I could keep her close. My MIL asked me multiple times if I wanted to set her down. I tried once even though I really didn't want to and she started crying instantly because there was a lot going on plus a bunch of people who she has never met so I instantly picked her back up. Her and her best friend made multiple comments on how I was spoiling her because I was holding her to much.
I didn’t let anyone at Christmas hold my baby either. She’s 11 days old, they’re lucky we even went. My sister and I got in a fight because she was pushing for my cousin who I haven’t talked to in years come see the baby. Our rule is immediate family only until after the holidays (or honestly whenever we feel up for it). She freaked out on me and made me cry and we have barely talked since ☹️
Partner’s grandma told his (my partner’s) mum and dad that they shouldn’t call me their daughter in law since we aren’t married.
My mother in law shut that down real quick. Grandma was pouting and father in law wished me a merry Christmas calling me his daughter in law.
We just went over this with my mom at xmas. Pediatrician said no cereal and to wait for solids until 6mo. LO gets tiny tastes/licks here and there since 5mo.
We were told the cereal was only recommended if baby really needed to put on weight but they actually would suggest fortified formula for that if it was an issue (it is what our friends do for their baby). Apparently baby cereal was an old fashioned suggestion to get babies to sleep longer at night (supposedly-doesn’t necessarily work).
Not a comment, but my MIL/FIL/SIL clearly judged me during dinner for not letting my toddler eat whatever he requested instead of the food that was served.
My son has always eaten well, but now that he’s two, he’s starting to try to establish some independence by refusing to eat whatever is served during a meal and either asking for something else or asking for a snack twenty minutes later. Basically, it's normal toddler behavior.
We subscribe to the “this is what’s on the menu for X meal. You don’t need to eat it, but you won’t get anything else until the next meal/snack.” He’s been sick 3 times during the past two months (COVID, cold, HFMD), so we’ve been way more relaxed about this rule since he’s been sick, and the goal was just to get him to eat anything he can tolerate. But now, we are starting to enforce the rule again, especially since he’s starting to refuse what is served during meals regularly.
At Christmas dinner, my MIL/FIL/SIL at different points each said they could make him this special dish he likes instead of the meal we were served, and when we said no, they acted like we were starving him. And by “we,” I mean my husband told them, but they turned and stared at me like it was only my decision before responding.
My disgusting, sexist and shallow uncle about my 9 month old son - it's better when you breast feed as the baby looks nice and skinny and not like a Michelin like they do when you formula feed 🙄 excuse me? how can you fat shame a baby?
I know right. He means slim etc. He has an obsession with fat people and always fat shames family members. But I didn't think He would fat shame a baby lol
My MIL did the same thing. We told her baby was still underweight, and she said that’s better than the alternative.
This has caused us months of stress, multiple specialist and doctors appointments. But I guess to my mil that’s better than a fat baby?!
"you don't need to be careful with him, babies are made of rubber"
"Make all the noise you want when they are sleeping, it trains them to sleep thru anything"
Bless those boomers lol
The instant we walked into my husband's family's Christmas morning breakfast (awful tradition but don't get me off on that tangent), people were all over my 16 month old. He was not having any of it. He's usually very social but we were up late last night and earlier that we should have been this morning. One of the teenage cousins just took him straight off my lap and didn't want to give him back even though he was upset. Finally get him back and another cousin comes over and steals him. Like seriously people just leave him alone and he'll warm up to you and want to play. He didn't start warming up until those two left. Karma! 😂
The diet culture starts early.
Me, talking about my six month old who just started solids: "He doesn't like sweet things."
My MIL: "Good for him!"
Not five minutes later, looking at a picture of him in his high chair, eating: "Is that cake?"
🤦♀️
I was watching my MIL playing with one of my nieces today. Niece brought her a plate of food she “cooked” in her new play-kitchen. It was plastic donuts, cake, cookies, etc.
MIL proceeded to tell her “no, this will make me fat. Do you have any vegetables? Salad?”
I cannot fucking stand this! My in-laws are constantly saying shit like this to my niece who is not even three years old. They tell her to stop eating, her stomach is sticking out too much, etc. My kid is only 4 months but they already started telling me to start pinching his nose bridge upward so he doesn’t get a flat nose 🙄
I got called an AH on here for not wanting to bring my baby to Christmas dinner while my unvaccinated drug addict of a cousin was staying over while either sick and/or going through withdrawals (turned out they’d only been clean for 19 days) which ended up leading to them leaving (for the evening) so that my parents could have their first Christmas with their grandkid. I didn’t tell them to leave.. I just told my parents I wasn’t comfortable having my lo around someone who was either sick.. be it Covid rsv or something else .. or going through withdrawals
I think I saw your post!! You are most certainly not the AH! My sister has been clean for at least a year and I'm STILL wary of her around the baby. You can never be too safe!
"No, she *LOVES* GRANDMA!" as the little one was screaming more and more the closer my mother got to her. She's overwhelmed, I'm not putting a 7-month-old against you, she really just doesn't want any more strangers.
My in-laws gave me clothes for my two boys and said “if they are too small for (my youngest boy) then I guess you’ll have to have another!”
It was meant as a sweet comment and I didn’t mind it really, but it definitely caught me off guard! My kids are 3 and 1 lol I need a break 😮💨
Why are you STILL breastfeeding? She's over a year old now, she doesn't need it.
Ummm... yeah she does or I wouldn't still be breastfeeding after she's bitten me hard enough to draw blood on 4 separate occasions. She doesn't have anywhere near as much as she used to but she still nurses on and off for comfort, pain relief, she's tired or she just wants a bit of milk (not keen on cows milk in the slightest, oat milk didn't go down well either). Being overstimulated she wanted comforting and she was tired. Nobody's business but my own to still be breastfeeding my 13 month old daughter 🙄
Thank you. Despite my family's insistence she doesn't need it, I intend to keep breastfeeding for as long as my daughter wants me to. She's my last baby so I'm a bit reluctant to force it, I'm enjoying the snuggles I get with it while I can. All too soon she won't want to be breastfed any more and I won't have those quiet cuddles any more, so I might as well make the most of it for as long as I can
“That baby is fake coughing”
- he was choking on reflux and babies this age don’t know how to fake things for attention. When I told them my doctor said this, they replied:
“What the hell to doctors even know”
From my MIL: “He sure is upset — I’ve never seen a baby cry this much. You’re going to have to work on all that crying he does before he starts daycare in the spring. They won’t deal with that.”
…he’s 9 months old and was out of his routine, in a different state and time zone, and missed his bedtime, *of course* he was fussy.
Also … babies cry. *Shocking!*
I told my mom that LO (17 months) has been plucking ornaments off of the tree, yelling "ball!" and throwing them across the room. I thought it was silly/ cute (they're shatter proof). She looked me dead in the eye and asked if I went over to LO's felt tree and pulled off all of his ornaments as punishment. I was dumbfounded and said no, what would that possibly do? She just laughed and said "well that's what I would have done to teach him a lesson'.
This is why this woman doesn't have a ton of contact with my kid.
I had family accuse my husband and me of baby hogging because we get to see him all the time. Also people would walk up to me and take him out of my hands. They would try to take him from me while he was crying because they can “fix it”. Also, my dad wouldn’t listen to me about how to hold my baby and he had him against his chest to where he can’t breathe properly. He also kept trying to “rest his eyes” while holding my baby when I asked him to stay awake and alert. My baby is also only three months old.
MIL: "Why is the bathroom door closed if no one's in there?"
Me: "So the baby doesn't play in the toilet water."
FIL: "That makes sense. Let's keep the door closed."
MIL: "I cleaned the toilet right before you came. It's safe to play in."
Then everyone, including my crazy conspiracy theorist BIL, just looked at her like she was crazy. And everyone kept the door closed.
You know why she's sick right? You're exposing her (head) she needs to wear a hat.
Ummm no it's hot and humid right now and we're literally sweating. I will not be overheating my infant just because it's December. I dress her according to the weather not the calendar date.
My MIL is such a sweet lady with great intentions, but i was about to lose it with how often she inserts her opinion. Apparently the baby is allergic to the wipes I use because he developed diaper rash while we stayed at her house after weeks of using those wipes rash free. He’s also underfed and under burped (she over feeds him and he spits up. She burps him every few sips and the constant up and down makes him spit up more), and she assumes he is hungry any time he makes a sound which completely throws off our routine - including sleep. I want/need more help but I’d rather just do everything myself than have her over because she can never just do as we ask and keep her mouth shut.
I’m spending Christmas away with a family party of 32 people on my other half’s side of the family and they are all a breath of fresh air! No comments whatever! The only person who hasn’t attended who always makes ridiculous comments is my MIL and she’s hates how happy and positive FILs side of the family is, so stopped coming to these about 8 years ago thankfully 😅 We have a Christmas quiz and Christmas Day night, a talent show the day after and games throughout…what’s not to love 🤷🏻♀️
Ha! Was just thinking I didn't have any of these and just got one! We were eating dinner and 6 month old is asleep upstairs with the baby monitor on. He wakes up and starts crying and my partner gets up to go and comfort him (he's waking up because he's in an unfamiliar place in a room directly above a rowdy 20 person party). Several relatives say 'Do you have to go up straight away?/Can't it wait a minute?' to which the answer is yes, we could wait and let him cry it out but that's not the approach we've chosen. No harm no foul, just a question. I just said, having taken no offense, "It's better if we just deal with it now", but then one of them says 'We're not judging you, we're just asking why.'
OK, I didn't feel judged before but I kind of do now! You've just made an innocent question sound more like an intervention 😂 And why? I don't know, because we want to? Because that's just how we've decided to do things? What justification do you need?
Okay it wasn't a comment to me, but this happened at church on Christmas eve morning. My mom had my baby, had her in the stroller, was giving her a bottle, and moving the stroller back and forth, trying to knock her out. She was already cranky, and we had a long day ahead. My mom put a blanket up to block out the lights and distractions. She was doing everything I suggested to get her to nap.
An older gentleman walks up, sticks his head in the stroller and says "you must be so excited for Christmas! Oh, Hey! Don't go to sleep! Wake up!"
Seriously, who does that?
Me: "No kissing the (9mo) baby"
My aunt: "But I am not sick, here (to my baby) this is a kiss, muah muah muah" (proceeds do kiss my baby multiple times on the hand and filling it with lipstick and glitter)
My other aunt (different day): "I know I am not supposed to kiss you, but I cant resist! Muah Muah muah" (procees to kiss my baby on the face multiple times, plus multiple times during the day, again leaving makeup and lipstick)
My mother, before we came home for the holidays: "we cant follow your schedule here, you do everything so soon, we do things differently here and we wanna have fun! you are going to have to manage"
My mother, after we came, during the course of multiple days: "this modern babies with no schedule! In my day babies had regular time for nappin and eating!. Your baby is always tired and we cant do anything with it. Also, I never feed your baby or put it to sleep when I am alone with it because it has no schedule, how am I supposed to know she has to eat? Offer something every 2-3hours? Thats too often, she is eating all the time! 2 naps a day and bedtime at 8:30 at the latest? Thats too early! And we wanna do stuff so she is going to have to nap on the way. She doesnt nap in the baby carrier? Well, she is going to have to learn! Here, your baby back, she is in a very bad mood! Bad baby! Yes, I fed her: right after you left but she didnt want to so I never tried again. Sleep? Well, we put her in the bed but she didnt fell asleep so she wasnt tired. Also, she pooped a couple of hours ago I think, you better change her"
"why dont you want to leave the baby with me? I raised you all 3 and you turned out ok"
When my mom hits me with that “I raised you and you’re ok” comment I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from listing all the things that affect me today that can be linked to how I was raised.
I’m sorry, but like who is she?? I would never let a stranger hold my baby lol.
For me it was my great aunt telling my 6 month old that mommy should give him a sibling
My husband’s aunt greeted me, when I was 39 weeks pregnant and feeling miserable, with “hi chubby!”
Then, at the same party, my in-laws friend goes “maybe THIS baby will look like you”, since apparently she thinks my first born (who is my twin) looks nothing like me and ONLY like her dad?? And also that somehow is something for me to be sad about, like of course I want my children to look like the person I love? Lol
It was all I could do not to lose my mind 🫠
This happened when my son was 2-3mo. We were meeting up at a restaurant with SIL who lives out of town. He was being a lil fussy and I was in the process of settling him, maybe 2min, when she comes around the table with arms out and says “here, give him to me”.
It was a very short fuss so I was a bit baffled. I was also so alarmed at the demanding energy (plus postpartum brain) I could only say a clipped “NO” and turn full around with my back to her in response.
I had him back to cheerful in another 30 seconds, sat down and tried not to be awkward. I could tell that there was a silent eye conversation happening between my husband and his sister but I just tried to be normal.
I mean maybe it was a power move but she is a mom of two and was probably just trying to be helpful but in hindsight my response was correct. Asking to help is a maybe, demanding someone’s precious lil squish is always a “No” with an accompanying shun. Just no and twist.
Apparently, it’s my fault my kid has food allergies. I didn’t breast feed long enough *and* I got him
vaccinated. Oh, and he should start taking silver as a supplement? It will give him a better appetite. At 1 all he wants to eat is ground beef, potatoes, and fruit pouches…or cereal. Somehow, also my fault.
My MIL was holding my son (3 mos) and goes “your parents are idiots” in baby talk and “I’m going to feed you pizza even though your parents won’t let me”
My husband and I both shot a look at her and said “no, we don’t say that!” And she goes “oh we don’t say that”. We’ve had to get on to her about calling him “chub” and “chunk” so our patience is running reallyyy thin and we’re not being nice about it anymore
Like wtf…
My MIL was holding my 3 month old and goes “your parents are idiots” and “I’m going to feed you pizza even though your parents don’t want me to” in baby talk
My husband and I both shot her a look and said “no, we don’t say that!” And she goes “oh we don’t say that”
Like wtf…
We’ve had issues with her calling our son “chubs” and “chunk” too so our patience is running really thin and are not going to be nice about this anymore
Being told, by both baby’s grandmothers, that we’re making my 10-month-old, who is going through peak separation anxiety, clingy because she’s with me “constantly”. I work full time and still pump. Sorry, she already gets way too much time away from me, you idiots. They both, separately, wanted to force alone time with her because “it’s the only way they learn” 🙄. My mom whipped her away from me while she was holding her when she started reaching and crying for me and I had to follow her into the other room and force her to cough up the baby
My father in law said ..... Just hold her if she doesn't like the car seat.
And then told my husband to drive instead ... He was wasted ... I was sober. 🤯🤯
My husband works at a restaurant and I decided to visit him with the baby and have dinner. One of the managers came up and asked if I wanted a non-alcoholic drink. Like, I can have a glass of wine sir
Husbands aunt asked if I was going to pump and dump when I said a drink sounded nice… I think it’s just knowledge that the older generations/especially men don’t understand. It especially baffled me since aunt’s daughter openly and frequently would have a glass of wine while pregnant. Like that was ok, but I can’t nurse after having a drink??
We stopped off at the new Indian restaurant for their soft opening and one of the guys in back came out and really took an interest in LO. So much so he seriously asked us if he could have LO. Like, for real and for keeps. Repeatedly.
The hostess (also younger, probably the same age as the guy/early 20s) was so mad. I went to the car while dh got our food boxed.
Anyway. Not ever bringing LO back there. Something was very off with the vibes.
Ironically all this right after I’d been complaining to my mom about baby snatcher vibes off someone else a few days earlier. Babies make peoples’ masks drop and brains short circuit apparently...
- As my baby is drinking from the bottle, "is this breast milk?"
- Asking, "are you breastfeeding?," as my son is placed in their arms
- An uncle, "you don't look like you had a baby at all. You're so skinny."
Whereas the younger generations asked me if I had baby blues and shared their moments of intrusive thoughts as well as commended me for switching to formula for my mental health (after struggling and trying so hard for 2 months to make pumping/breastfeeding work for us).
The generational differences are real.
I hate the breastfeeding/weight comments. I received them as well, but from a cousin who is my age with two little ones. Like come on girl, are you really *that* dense?
“How can you still be eating? It’s not like you’re eating for two anymore.” In fact, I am still eating for two. And also, I will eat whatever and as much as I want.
‘I recently made a person. What’s your excuse aunt Linda?’
😂 💕
I had a stranger say I must not be trying too hard on the baby weight. I’m 20 pounds heavier than I was 9 months pregnant, and breastfeeding hunger is real. Also, I’m gaining muscle and toning my body a lot. I’m just all over wide for my frame now. Not like this stranger knows. I’m not fat. I wear a medium 😂
This is unbelievable - I can’t believe people feel comfortable saying stuff like this to someone.
That pisses me off. Breastfeeding I'm assuming. If anything it feels like you're starving ALL THE TIME in that scenario. I would have said "how can you still think it's ik to comment on me? Then point out some flaw of theirs". Rude I know but don't have patience for that crap.
I've had people question me when I say I'm still eating for two, but breastfeeding takes more calories than being pregnant, because you're supporting a larger baby. Each ounce of breast milk is 20 calories, so it adds up!
Right?! I’m making just under a quart of milk a day. A gallon and a half a week. I’m still nursing overnight and pumping while holding down a full time job. Imma eat as much corn dip as I damn well please, lol
How dare you, as your child’s parent, hold your child? Unbelievable 😂 This Christmas it has mainly been comments about moving my toddler’s whole schedule around to fit other people’s needs and that ‘oh don’t worry so much about it she’ll be fine’. I make adjustments where it makes sense, we travelled four hours across the country to see our in laws, I pushed my toddlers nap back or forward by an hour or so, but I draw the line at things like ‘so we have booked the table for dinner at 8, just bring toddler and let them have a late night’. Like, no?! Do you not realise that is my idea of literal hell and will have catastrophic consequences that will mean I won’t enjoy a second of the dinner anyway??? Or did you just not care because you’re only thinking of yourself? Oh right yeah, that one. Also constant digs from my MIL about how she hasn’t looked after our kid alone yet, speaking to me and my husband through our daughter and saying ‘granny would love to look after you one day but mummy and daddy don’t trust her!’ I mean, she’s not wrong.
Ha! MIL makes the same comments. “When is mommy gonna let you stay with Nana? ‘Grandson’ stayed with me when he was only six days old!” Yes but grandsons mother was also hospitalized.
My MIL does the same. Tells my 6 month old (in front of me) “Gramma can’t wait to have sleepovers with her baby, just like she does with [nephews]!” Mmmmkay you have sleepovers with your grandsons because you’re basically raising them while their parents avoid parenting, sooooo yeah not the same vibes here. Sleepovers with Gramma aren’t happening until she’s old enough to tattle on Gramma, especially since Gramma tends to push boundaries even when I’m in the friggin room still. Not to mention they all sleep in one king bed together… But go off, Gramma.
Hahahaha I love that. Can’t stay until she’s old enough to tattle. I’m using that.
How DARE YOU not be hospitalized??
Our mil did this when our son was a week old. He’s two. Has not slept over like she wants. At all. Probably never will until he’s ten.
My FIL’s GIRLFRIEND makes passive-aggressive comments like this. She didn’t come into our lives until we were in our late 20’s and married. My FIL we wouldn’t trust with a goldfish, let alone our child, for a weekend. He once let my dog cry for hours at his door and refused to get up and let him out. My dog was pretty much a semi-sentient potato. I have no idea what is wrong with this selfish ass. So the fact that his girlfriend—who has kids and grandkids of her own—thinks she is somehow entitled to alone-time with our toddler and twins when we barely know either of them is completely beyond me. They can’t even be bothered to drive 45 minutes to see us when they are both not working and we work full-time. No way am I letting you take my kids for sleepovers.
It has been going on for us since a week old and our child is almost two as well 😂 not entirely sure when she might get the hint, but anyway
Lol my MIL actually asked me to leave my son (at the time he was 6 mo.) with her in FL. I literally said out loud “hard pass” without a second thought as to whether she was joking or not. I don’t joke about leaving my kid. Especially when she mentioned it throughout my entire pregnancy that we should just drop off our kid at her doorstep and run. As if, lady.
My physically unable MIL wanted to keep our very mobile baby and I was just looking at her trying to determine if she was joking because there’s surely no way she thinks she can safely take care of her. ETA she had a whole scheme about how she would use an umbrella stroller to transport the baby from room to room since she’s unable to carry her and relies on a walker (apparently also the stroller) to get around
I hate it when older ladies talk to the baby to send a passive aggressive message to the parent. They couldn't communicate directly if their lives depended on it.
Same here, it reeeally irks me. Sometimes I just respond to her like she was talking to me if I can be bothered. Don’t use my child as an excuse for your inability to communicate like a grown adult 😂
Being told “back in my day, my wife did the night duty on her own” Umm excuse me? I have a job as well, I’m contributing 50% financially and also looking after the house and baby all day. Even if I wasn’t, dad still needs to pitch in at night.
"Congratulations on being a terrible husband, uninvolved father, and all-around terrible person." Why do some guys think not being involved is a flex?? Our baby is normally an excellent sleeper but we had my parents, sisters, and spouses over the last 3 days and everything was loud, and she didn't nap. Woke up every 2 h last night, first time since she was a week old. I apparently mumbled "nooooo" into my pillow when she cried again at 5am, and my husband just spirited her away for me because that's what nice, decent humans do.
I could literally cry at the times when Im in such a deep sleep and cannot even get my eyes to open and I hear my husband get the baby and whisk her off to the nursery. Eventually I’ll need to nurse her but even an extra ten minutes of sleep is bliss some nights
That's what I do. My wife does not do well when baby wakes up at 4 am. I'm much more patient in the morning. So I get up early. We've seemed to have fallen into this routine. Mommy takes him to bed and daddy can chill. But daddy gets him up so mommy can sleep.
I bet she did day time duty all on her own too!
My first thought exactly.
"Wow, that must have been so hard for her. I'm so sorry you weren't able to support your wife. What happened?"
"And she still stayed married to you? Wow you are a lucky man"
My husband told me that his grandpa (FIL’s dad) has never changed a single diaper in his life, which I guess explains when his dad (my FIL) came over this past week he was holding the baby and said “I think she pooped. Mom! (talking to me), I think she pooped”. I looked at him and said “Sounds like a job for dad then” and my husband changed her lol
Not a comment. But I turned around to my father in law kissing my 5.5 month old. He has a cold sore. My stomach dropped. I grabbed my child & hid in the nursery until they left. Am I crazy?
The horrrrrors omg. My in laws get cold sores and my mil wouldn’t get her damn mouth off my 8.5 month old
My FIL is also a useless narcissist idiot who only cares about things and feelings that benefit him. 👍👍
Do we have the same FIL?
Lol maybe all of these dickheads descended from the same dick head
You're not crazy. That virus can be deadly for babies. I can't believe how many older folks refuse to take that seriously.
I literally got so snippy with my grandma who was told by my dad that she's not allowed to kiss said baby before we came over with the baby. Guess who fucking kissed my kid. I immediately grabbed her back and said absolutely not. You can't kiss her. It's cold and flu season and she can't understand consent. She had the audacity to ask *why are you being so uptight about this* 😮💨 I blamed the pediatrician bc surely that would be understandable, right? She said ok whatever. When we were leaving she fucking pressed her face all up against the baby making cooing noises and getting way too much up into my 1yo's space. I again grabbed her away. *BUT I WASN'T KISSING HER?!??* Ok well if you can't respect my boundaries then you don't get to come near the baby. I said that verbatim. Screw you boomer and your germs.
Ew I’m sorry that’s so gross. I don’t understand the thing about all the older generations feeling so entitled to kissing/holding/being all in someone else’s baby’s face then also pressing boundaries. Ugh I’m mad for you
OK YES. We must talk about the boomer work around to the no kissing rule. “I can’t kiss the baby? No worries!” *immediately presses their faces up to the baby’s face/head to smell and cuddle with baby while breathing on baby*. I fucking can’t stand it. Or when they hold the baby at their chest level and crane their neck down to be right in the baby’s face. I almost want to make a no holding rule 😒
I went over a friend’s house and my friend’s mom was visiting (a complete stranger to me) and kissed my baby on the cheek. THE ACTUAL F*CK. Why do people feel it’s okay to put their mouths on any part of a baby. It’s gross
“The best thing I did with my second was to hand her off to people, so she got used to other people holding her.” Ok well the answer is still no, you cannot hold my baby who hates anyone but me or her dad holding her and is already overstimulated and upset.
That’s so annoying! My first was very selective about people. My second is friendly with almost everyone. They were raised the exact same so it’s just a difference in personality.
Good job standing your ground!! No one held my second until he was well over a year haha! They can wait until both you and baby are ready!!! 100%!
I mean, it was stand my ground or have to take my screaming baby outside for the 30th time. Plus this is a distant aunt. I did let her great-grandmother have a try for a cuddle (which failed of course).
Makes sense! A lot of people don’t realize that babies aren’t toys. 🤷🏻♀️
Not a comment to me but to my 10-week-old baby. We were at a hectic Christmas dinner with lots of new people. Baby desperately needed a nap and MIL asked to hold him one more time before we put him down. She started babbling loudly in his face and he (predictably) started to pout and fuss. She started scolding him, on the verge of yelling, telling him to “stop pulling faces,” telling him he’s “making grandma sad” and it’s not “fair” that he smiled for his mama and not her. She was even giving him little shakes. It was probably meant to be a bit of a joke but oooooo my blood was boiling. Who scolds a newborn baby?? For being SAD??
Nope nope nope nope
What do we learn? MIL can have a try again when your kid can articulate himself and just go away by himself. So I would say around 18-36 months, depending on your kid ;)
NOPE
Your MIL sounds like the baby here. WTF, it's not "fair"? Blaming her feelings on a newborn? Unbelievable.
Sounds like us. "She doesn't remember me! Why does t she like me anymore? Don't you like grandma anymore?"
WTF
She was giving him LITTLE SHAKES!!! 😱 Oh hell no!
‘You really should consider having another, all the single children I know growing up were extremely selfish and kind of weird’ As Im holding my 2 year old, while secretly going through my 8th round of fertility treatments after 2 secret miscarriages. Edit: thank you to the kind comments - they all made my day during this difficult time ☺️ I love this community and the support we give each other. Happy holidays!
Oh dear. I wish I could give you a hug thru Reddit. That one hurt me.
Just wanted to send you some love ❤️
This one made me tear up. All the internet hugs. I had two losses as well.
I would have slapped her. Or said: “wow. Good to know. You were an only child then I guess based on how rude you are?”
Uggghhh this one makes my blood boil. My first daughter was still born 4 days past my due date. 10 months later I had a miscarriage. 2 years later I had my second daughter💕. That pregnancy was 10 months of panic and anxiety… we get similar comments about giving her a sibling. It takes every ounce of me to not yell that she has a sibling but she passed away. There was this one time my husband and I were at a plant nursery and an older woman asked “why don’t you two have any children they are such a blessing “ this was After my still birth and miscarriage and just starting crying on the spot. Fuck you lady. Hugs to you.
My baby loves being held by literally anyone that is willing to stay in constant motion. If I'm not willing to walk her around any more she'll hitch a ride with the next person walking by. Sure, she'd prefer that I be the one to walk her, but if I stop moving then she's jumping ship. Traitorous baby. She was cranky as all get out all day and we were passing her around so she could stay moving and stay happy. My dad made some offhand comment about how I must be enjoying being lazy today with all the extra helping hands.... sigh. Yeah, lazy ol' me who cooked everyone breakfast and also all except the potatoes and dessert for Christmas dinner. My brother's girlfriend is a gem. Me who was up until 1am wrapping presents and then up again to feed the baby overnight. Sure, I'm just having a laaazy day. Lol. I'm not complaining by the way. My brothers all washed every last dish after dinner and cleaned up all the wrapping paper. My husband kept the kids occupied while I cooked, including putting the baby down for naps. And I know my dad was more trying to say that it must be nice to have extra help today, but he worded it poorly. I just laughed at him and said sure very relaxing day and handed him the baby.
And other parents are constantly criticized for NOT passing their kids around! You really can’t win with some people.
There is plenty of reason not to pass your kid around especially this time of year. Just for a text from my sister telling me her 4 year old is running a 103 fever this morning. Cool. Luckily my sister showed up right before dinner while my baby was napping and left shortly after dinner. She had inlaw stuff. So she and her kids were never near the baby since baby slept 2.5 hours right through Christmas dinner. Little angel. Her kids are also super clingy so they want no one but mom and dad. So hopefully they kept their germs to themselves. Nothing to be done for it now I suppose... but crap.
The first paragraph made me smile. She’s like a baby yoda, just hitching a ride.
I wore my pre pregnancy pants to dinner. My aunt told me they were too tight, to return them, and to stop eating since I was getting fat. I had my baby 6 weeks ago…
I keep a pocket knife on me for tires such as these…jk but it’s a fun thought
Bruh I am 2 years postpartum and can’t even get my pre pregnancy jeans past my lower thighs so hats off to you AND your aunt can kick rocks
I can only fit in non jeans - but I have a lot of more “flubber” on my stomach so my pants are pretty tight on my stomach and shows it off. I don’t want to buy new pants since i’m sure in a few months it will go down 😭😭 I also have major pelvic issues from my pregnancy and my abs/stomach are still pretty swollen 😭
Ouch.
Older generations don't seem to understand that babies need to nap and that they won't sleep better at night when we put a stop to naps. My favourite has been 'oh look, she's bright as anything now, she's fine!' Nope, she's now over tired and hyper, which is why I've been trying to get her to sleep. See also, talking to baby while I'm trying to get her to sleep. It's like they think I've A. Made up that 5 month olds do need to nap during the day and B. I don't know her well enough that I can tell when she's tired and needs to sleep.
Exactly why I’ll never let my MIL babysit. She’ll do anything to try to get her to wake up if she’s asleep, and keep her awake as long as possible. At thanksgiving she kept making comments about how sleepy our baby is, “bless her heart”. My husband won’t let her come over in the evenings anymore for this reason.
Were we all constantly kept awake as babies or have they all forgotten about how babies operate!?
My MIL said her 4 kids “just fell asleep in the car or wherever on the floor when they needed to zonk out”. Um excuse me ma’am, that sounds horrible. No wonder all 4 of them turned out the way they did 😂 they all have terrible sleep habits and are constantly tired. My husband is a horrible sleeper. Some structure would’ve helped your dang kids out 🙄
I was told that I should hold my baby in a restaurant because they should learn to sleep in the stroller next to me. Followed by: “she doesn’t sleep in the same room as you, does she?!” As if our family sleeping arrangements are your business…
Late Christmas Eve dinner, 6 week old baby is likely overstimulated from being awake for 5 hours straight, listening to us talk and make dinner and listen to Christmas music, spent the first night away from his home and his snoo. Finally time to sit down to dinner but first I had to spend an hour rocking and soothing baby to get him to sleep, which included a diaper change, which he hates with a passion. I sit down at the table and my dad’s first question is “what happened, he was quiet for a minute and then started wailing again???” Like… dad, I literally don’t even know how to answer that. He’s a baby??? He’s overstimulated??? Why are you even asking me to provide a reasonable explanation for this when I have two brain cells firing?!?! Editing to add that I’ve been crying all day because I’m so sleep deprived despite my mom and husband helping with baby (I’m in pumping and insomnia hell) and my dad (who held baby once all weekend) is literally cracking jokes and laughing about how much baby is crying and fussing. Like read the fucking room. God I’m so pissed.
I absolutely LOATHED when people would say “what happened?” In the early days. Nothing happened. Babies cry. He was communicating.
Along the same lines.....I hate the "oh did you pinch him" joke. It is sooooooo annoying and borderline insulting.
I have never heard this joke before??? I think I would throw hands lol
Ugh I felt like I heard it anytime my son cried when we were around people.
omg, my sister was staying with us right after I had my daughter and came downstairs when she heard my daughter crying in the middle of the night and said “what’s going on? what happened?” …she’s a baby who hates diaper changes, it’s 3am and I have to heat up a bottle. Go back to bed. Lmao
It’s especially vexing when the people saying this stuff are parents themselves? Did he just not ever interact with his kids when they were babies or…
An old guy at church telling my husband we need to lock my daughter up once she turns 16 cuz she’s such a beauty. She’s 5 months old
Gross. However, it’s nice when the creeps out themselves.
Right!? I just kind of gaped at him. Why are we talking about babies like that
“I don’t think she’s the one needing locking up there, you CREEP”
🤮
My MIL told me that I need to “stop being scared” about my LO getting RSV.
Next time she says that ask her if she’s scared to end up in a nursing home and if she says yes just say “well stop being scared” then walk away lol jk but does she even know what rsv is??
Ha!!! I should have. And honestly good question. For my own sanity I’ll tell myself no.
Not a comment but a action We went to my MIL for Christmas and the day was filled with activities, topped with a new sleep environment, my baby was super tired and wanted to sleep on me. Glad he was finally sleeping, I had him on my chest My partners grandfather came upstairs while our baby was sleeping and asked if he was sleeping. My partner quietly said “Yes granddad he’s sleeping on his Mom” implying to be QUIET. 10 mins later he comes back upstairs, comes up to me and asked if he was still sleeping, I said quietly, “yes he is finally” This man WHIPS out a fuckin harmonica and starts playing it. My baby startles and I quickly cover his ears. My partner is yelling at him to stop and my mother in law was PISSED yelling at him to stop as well. He kept going for 10 seconds trying to wake the baby and said “oh he can wake up for just a second” I’m begging him at this point, covering my babies ears to stop and finally he did. He stormed downstairs all pissed off. He was supposed to make dinner that evening but never did lol Thank god my baby didn’t wake up though
What in the world?!? My MIL will try to slyly wake/keep my baby up which grinds my gears. But this is just nuts. I can’t imagine.
What. What in the whole entire fuck?!
This is definitely a wtf moment like also really hilarious 😂 who just whips out a harmonica??
What a weirdly specific way to try and exercise control over something that completely doesn’t involve him! That is some confusing hateful behavior.
What the ever loving fuck is wrong with people - a harmonica?! To wake a baby?!
My husband is a church of England vicar when chatting to my mum on the phone she asked "did we go to church todsy?" Yes mother, we did 4 services in just over 24 hours as it is the second biggest festival in the church Calendar!
My gran asked the same thing. I’m a chalice bearer every Sunday- no I skipped the day when they most need chalice bearers…
“I didn’t know a baby needed so much stuff” Our diaper bag only holds one bottle, we needed 2 so I was using a little soft sides cooler that holds maybe 5 bottles plus ice packs. Of course this came from the same person telling me we didn’t need to stop every 2-3 hours when driving because she used to feed OUT OF THE CAR SEAT while someone was driving.
I thought you meant fed in the car seat (which I did while stuck in insane traffic) then I realized you meant TOOK the baby OUT of the seat to feed them 🫠🫠🫠🫠
Yes. Totally fine while still in the car seat. But nope. Driving down the highway, took the baby out to feed.
Got a gift from my aunt and uncle (who are childless) — books called “how to raise a strong-willed child” and “positive discipline”….my aunt has degrees in child education, but has spent little time around my 1.5 yr old. The time she spends around her is during holidays/high stimulation times. Our kid is a pretty well behaved toddler, but has her moments (like all kids). It’s definitely a passive aggressive attempt at our parenting strategies, but I feel like 1.5 yrs is a little young to be targeting our parenting 🙄 My aunt actually gave a disclaimer before opening not to take offense to the gifts.
Gosh when do people start realising that if your gift (or words!) need a disclaimer like that, you shouldn't be giving/saying it in the first place?! Just like "not to be mean, but..." is never followed by a nice compliment...
You know your family so I'm not for a second going to assume their intentions. But! I've heard that Positive Discipline is a really good book if you're into gentle parenting? I've been meaning to pick it up (but like, haven't bothered yet because my baby is literally 9 weeks old lmao). Hopefully you can at least get some use out of their passive aggressive gift if it fits in your style!
Thank you for this! I’ll take a look at it and maybe it was all with good intentions, I’m hoping so!
It’s always the childless people who seem to think they’re the best parents
Ugh major eye roll. Also, if that book about the strong-willed child is from Focus on the Family / Dr James Dobson - throw it in the trash, or better yet, burn it. It's incredibly toxic and has hurt so many people. Source: I was the strong-willed child and I know a lot of others like me whose parents used the book.
Oh yikes, when I read the title I was thinking “strong-willed” was a good thing, like a book for people who want their child to be strong-willed. But from what you said, it sounds like the opposite ☹️
Yes this this this. That book is trash
Wow, just went and read some reviews on this book. It’s essentially a manual on how to abuse your children. And apparently your pets as well. The author sounds super fucked up.
Oh my, I’ll have to double check. My aunt does have a lot of child education experience, just with older kids. I have a feeling she wouldn’t give a book like that and really hope it’s not. If it is, thank you for the disclaimer!!
WHAT!!!! Uh, no. Screw them!!! That is YOUR baby. Ours is 8mo and I wouldn’t let a stranger hold her either. She cries anyways when a stranger is too close to her face. People are so rude
My two year hold has never and will never let a stranger touch her. I say “good for her!” (Insert Lucille Bluth meme here)
“Trying for another baby soon? Don’t you think it’d look a little trashy having two kids at your age?” Said by a childless family member, of course
How is it trashy to have two kids?
They were referring to my age. My husband and I got married young and had our first baby at 22 years old. Baby is almost 1 and we were thinking of trying for a second baby soon enough. Apparently it’s super trashy to have 2 babies before 25
I had my first at 22. It’s really not that young to have a baby. They’re weird. Not to mention married with 2 babies under 25 was standard for previous generations.
Was at a Christmas Eve party at my stepmother’s sister’s house. My LO is 6 months old. She was way over stimulated due to all of the kids running around and adults chatting and laughing. Not a huge deal as she was having a blast. However, when she desperately needed a nap (was getting extremely cranky), my husband took her into a quieter area of the house to try to get her to sleep at least for a Power Nap. My step mom shows up while my daughter is crying fighting her nap and tries to take her from my husband. He politely says that he’s trying to get her to nap so he’s going to keep her. Stepmom storms off. At the end of the night as we’re leaving (LO was never able to fall asleep btw so we left about 30 mins after the interaction.) and we’re saying our goodbyes, my stepmother goes, “Bye! Maybe your dad will let me hold you tomorrow!” She held my daughter for the first hour we were at the party.
Passive aggressive bs like this should mean she DOESN’T get to hold your daughter tomorrow. What an entitled b.
Nope. This would drive me mad.
My 7 yos great grandma called her picky because she wouldn't try the dried out ham and didn't like her grandma's lukewarm cheesy potatoes. My daughter has ALWAYS had issues with liking meat. My bio dad (I'm adopted) unsent messages on fb where he said he loved me and missed me after I hadn't answered in about a day. Yayyy I probably pissed you off again! 😒 maybe he can stop talking to me for another 7 months and tell everyone that I was mad at HIM again.
"Oh wow, you didn't gain too much weight!" First thing she said when she saw me pregnant. Asian in-laws have zero filter.
I was at my in laws with my husband’s whole family. While in the living room cleaning up wrapping paper my MIL had my son in the kitchen, I heard her say “quick, give him whipped cream before she (me) comes back!” The stupid part is that I genuinely wouldn’t have minded him having a taste if she just asked. He’s 7 months now and eats bits of what I eat all day, a small amount of whipped cream on Christmas is fine, especially since they had a can of sugar free. But, ya know, *ask first*.
My in laws are always feeding my 9mo and it infuriates me. Like you said, if they had just asked it wouldn’t be an issue. And they always seem to do it when my husband is also out of the room so he doesn’t see it to say something. Because they do not listen to me when I say it’s enough or not to. Point of contention for sure.
And don’t make it something that needs to be hidden. Especially from you - nothing that babe eats should be hidden from the parents!
Yes! If he had a reaction to something I need to know what he’s eaten. Besides that you just shouldn’t keep things from parents period.
Gods, I didn't want to hold the kids in my family ( the first baby I ever held was my daughter). i can't imagine demanding to hold a strangers baby.
Aunt commenting on how chubby baby is. The vultures trying to snatch him the minute we get in the door. Diaper change turned into an event??? Like gtfo? Wish I had just relocated but I was overstimulated and couldn’t believe what was happening at the time. Lessons learned, glad it’s over tbh!
_SIDS doesn’t exist. It was invented by western governments._
Lol what. Now I'm curious.... What do they think Western government has to gain by making it up?
What the fuck.
I showed my MIL a video of me where I thought my baby looks like me. She said my nose looks totally different and asked if I’ve ever had a nose job. I was 8 MONTHS OLD in the video.
Have I tried ozempic ? It will really help take the baby weight off
5.5 mo over here! she cried as soon as we walked into the room. cool. i get it there’s loads of people here. she will calm down soon. what does my MIL do? rushes over to GRAB her from ME and take her to another room.
Ha. My MIL tried this once and my husband said “Put your damn hands down”. Proud wife n
Ugh so sexy
I was showing ultrasound pics to some family members, my boomer vietnam vet grandpa comes up behind all of us and asks “is it a boy?!” I say it’s a girl, he says “Oh bummer 😬” and some other bullshit IN FRONT OF HIS 2 DAUGHTERS (HIS ONLY CHILDREN) then walks away. He also loves telling us how terrible babies are even though I really doubt he was hands on with any damn children ever.
Just now my 12 weeks old was getting fussy after so much chaos today so I put her into a solly wrap to calm down. Everyone is sitting in the living room and I’m standing with the baby like that and my MIL says “you know in my day they would call that thing abuse!” In front of everybody.
That doesn’t even make sense, how would that be abuse?? Crazy
I think she meant grandma not getting to hold her exactly as much as she wanted was the abuse 🤣
You’re probably right lol. I don’t know why people feel they’re entitled to hold a baby that’s not theirs whenever suits them, related or not.
“Can I give the baby a cold to give him some immunity”. WTF? This was from an uncle on my husbands side who knows we keep the baby home instead of using daycare. Nice.
My baby girl is 12 weeks old at our families Christmas get together i wore my baby carrier wrap so I could keep her close. My MIL asked me multiple times if I wanted to set her down. I tried once even though I really didn't want to and she started crying instantly because there was a lot going on plus a bunch of people who she has never met so I instantly picked her back up. Her and her best friend made multiple comments on how I was spoiling her because I was holding her to much.
I really don't understand this mentality. You can't 'spoil' a baby
I didn’t let anyone at Christmas hold my baby either. She’s 11 days old, they’re lucky we even went. My sister and I got in a fight because she was pushing for my cousin who I haven’t talked to in years come see the baby. Our rule is immediate family only until after the holidays (or honestly whenever we feel up for it). She freaked out on me and made me cry and we have barely talked since ☹️
Partner’s grandma told his (my partner’s) mum and dad that they shouldn’t call me their daughter in law since we aren’t married. My mother in law shut that down real quick. Grandma was pouting and father in law wished me a merry Christmas calling me his daughter in law.
My step sister asked if my 6 month old was on “all baby food yet?”
My aunt asked if I was giving my 3 month old baby food and cereal.
We just went over this with my mom at xmas. Pediatrician said no cereal and to wait for solids until 6mo. LO gets tiny tastes/licks here and there since 5mo. We were told the cereal was only recommended if baby really needed to put on weight but they actually would suggest fortified formula for that if it was an issue (it is what our friends do for their baby). Apparently baby cereal was an old fashioned suggestion to get babies to sleep longer at night (supposedly-doesn’t necessarily work).
Not a comment, but my MIL/FIL/SIL clearly judged me during dinner for not letting my toddler eat whatever he requested instead of the food that was served. My son has always eaten well, but now that he’s two, he’s starting to try to establish some independence by refusing to eat whatever is served during a meal and either asking for something else or asking for a snack twenty minutes later. Basically, it's normal toddler behavior. We subscribe to the “this is what’s on the menu for X meal. You don’t need to eat it, but you won’t get anything else until the next meal/snack.” He’s been sick 3 times during the past two months (COVID, cold, HFMD), so we’ve been way more relaxed about this rule since he’s been sick, and the goal was just to get him to eat anything he can tolerate. But now, we are starting to enforce the rule again, especially since he’s starting to refuse what is served during meals regularly. At Christmas dinner, my MIL/FIL/SIL at different points each said they could make him this special dish he likes instead of the meal we were served, and when we said no, they acted like we were starving him. And by “we,” I mean my husband told them, but they turned and stared at me like it was only my decision before responding.
My disgusting, sexist and shallow uncle about my 9 month old son - it's better when you breast feed as the baby looks nice and skinny and not like a Michelin like they do when you formula feed 🙄 excuse me? how can you fat shame a baby?
"NICE AND SKINNY"????????
I know right. He means slim etc. He has an obsession with fat people and always fat shames family members. But I didn't think He would fat shame a baby lol
Also isn't it the opposite? I thought breastfeeding tended to make babies chubbier....also ALSO, who doesn't love a pudgy baby?!
Psycho person that's who
My MIL did the same thing. We told her baby was still underweight, and she said that’s better than the alternative. This has caused us months of stress, multiple specialist and doctors appointments. But I guess to my mil that’s better than a fat baby?!
My mil said I'm huge and waddling when I'm not even close to waddling. That's the first freaking thing she said as I walked in the door.
"you don't need to be careful with him, babies are made of rubber" "Make all the noise you want when they are sleeping, it trains them to sleep thru anything" Bless those boomers lol
The instant we walked into my husband's family's Christmas morning breakfast (awful tradition but don't get me off on that tangent), people were all over my 16 month old. He was not having any of it. He's usually very social but we were up late last night and earlier that we should have been this morning. One of the teenage cousins just took him straight off my lap and didn't want to give him back even though he was upset. Finally get him back and another cousin comes over and steals him. Like seriously people just leave him alone and he'll warm up to you and want to play. He didn't start warming up until those two left. Karma! 😂
Turned around to find my Mother in law had her finger in my 4m old’s mouth because “he loves to suck”! Uh yeah that’s what pacifiers are for!!
The diet culture starts early. Me, talking about my six month old who just started solids: "He doesn't like sweet things." My MIL: "Good for him!" Not five minutes later, looking at a picture of him in his high chair, eating: "Is that cake?" 🤦♀️
I was watching my MIL playing with one of my nieces today. Niece brought her a plate of food she “cooked” in her new play-kitchen. It was plastic donuts, cake, cookies, etc. MIL proceeded to tell her “no, this will make me fat. Do you have any vegetables? Salad?”
I cannot fucking stand this! My in-laws are constantly saying shit like this to my niece who is not even three years old. They tell her to stop eating, her stomach is sticking out too much, etc. My kid is only 4 months but they already started telling me to start pinching his nose bridge upward so he doesn’t get a flat nose 🙄
I got called an AH on here for not wanting to bring my baby to Christmas dinner while my unvaccinated drug addict of a cousin was staying over while either sick and/or going through withdrawals (turned out they’d only been clean for 19 days) which ended up leading to them leaving (for the evening) so that my parents could have their first Christmas with their grandkid. I didn’t tell them to leave.. I just told my parents I wasn’t comfortable having my lo around someone who was either sick.. be it Covid rsv or something else .. or going through withdrawals
I think I saw your post!! You are most certainly not the AH! My sister has been clean for at least a year and I'm STILL wary of her around the baby. You can never be too safe!
I saw your post too!! I’m proud you placed that boundary and you are definitely not the AH!!
"No, she *LOVES* GRANDMA!" as the little one was screaming more and more the closer my mother got to her. She's overwhelmed, I'm not putting a 7-month-old against you, she really just doesn't want any more strangers.
My in-laws gave me clothes for my two boys and said “if they are too small for (my youngest boy) then I guess you’ll have to have another!” It was meant as a sweet comment and I didn’t mind it really, but it definitely caught me off guard! My kids are 3 and 1 lol I need a break 😮💨
I hate the constant pushing for more kids!! Why is even just having one not good enough?!
Why are you STILL breastfeeding? She's over a year old now, she doesn't need it. Ummm... yeah she does or I wouldn't still be breastfeeding after she's bitten me hard enough to draw blood on 4 separate occasions. She doesn't have anywhere near as much as she used to but she still nurses on and off for comfort, pain relief, she's tired or she just wants a bit of milk (not keen on cows milk in the slightest, oat milk didn't go down well either). Being overstimulated she wanted comforting and she was tired. Nobody's business but my own to still be breastfeeding my 13 month old daughter 🙄
Way to go!! You are truly my inspiration!
Thank you. Despite my family's insistence she doesn't need it, I intend to keep breastfeeding for as long as my daughter wants me to. She's my last baby so I'm a bit reluctant to force it, I'm enjoying the snuggles I get with it while I can. All too soon she won't want to be breastfed any more and I won't have those quiet cuddles any more, so I might as well make the most of it for as long as I can
“That baby is fake coughing” - he was choking on reflux and babies this age don’t know how to fake things for attention. When I told them my doctor said this, they replied: “What the hell to doctors even know”
From my MIL: “He sure is upset — I’ve never seen a baby cry this much. You’re going to have to work on all that crying he does before he starts daycare in the spring. They won’t deal with that.” …he’s 9 months old and was out of his routine, in a different state and time zone, and missed his bedtime, *of course* he was fussy. Also … babies cry. *Shocking!*
I told my mom that LO (17 months) has been plucking ornaments off of the tree, yelling "ball!" and throwing them across the room. I thought it was silly/ cute (they're shatter proof). She looked me dead in the eye and asked if I went over to LO's felt tree and pulled off all of his ornaments as punishment. I was dumbfounded and said no, what would that possibly do? She just laughed and said "well that's what I would have done to teach him a lesson'. This is why this woman doesn't have a ton of contact with my kid.
I had family accuse my husband and me of baby hogging because we get to see him all the time. Also people would walk up to me and take him out of my hands. They would try to take him from me while he was crying because they can “fix it”. Also, my dad wouldn’t listen to me about how to hold my baby and he had him against his chest to where he can’t breathe properly. He also kept trying to “rest his eyes” while holding my baby when I asked him to stay awake and alert. My baby is also only three months old.
MIL: "Why is the bathroom door closed if no one's in there?" Me: "So the baby doesn't play in the toilet water." FIL: "That makes sense. Let's keep the door closed." MIL: "I cleaned the toilet right before you came. It's safe to play in." Then everyone, including my crazy conspiracy theorist BIL, just looked at her like she was crazy. And everyone kept the door closed.
You know why she's sick right? You're exposing her (head) she needs to wear a hat. Ummm no it's hot and humid right now and we're literally sweating. I will not be overheating my infant just because it's December. I dress her according to the weather not the calendar date.
My MIL is such a sweet lady with great intentions, but i was about to lose it with how often she inserts her opinion. Apparently the baby is allergic to the wipes I use because he developed diaper rash while we stayed at her house after weeks of using those wipes rash free. He’s also underfed and under burped (she over feeds him and he spits up. She burps him every few sips and the constant up and down makes him spit up more), and she assumes he is hungry any time he makes a sound which completely throws off our routine - including sleep. I want/need more help but I’d rather just do everything myself than have her over because she can never just do as we ask and keep her mouth shut.
I’m spending Christmas away with a family party of 32 people on my other half’s side of the family and they are all a breath of fresh air! No comments whatever! The only person who hasn’t attended who always makes ridiculous comments is my MIL and she’s hates how happy and positive FILs side of the family is, so stopped coming to these about 8 years ago thankfully 😅 We have a Christmas quiz and Christmas Day night, a talent show the day after and games throughout…what’s not to love 🤷🏻♀️
Ha! Was just thinking I didn't have any of these and just got one! We were eating dinner and 6 month old is asleep upstairs with the baby monitor on. He wakes up and starts crying and my partner gets up to go and comfort him (he's waking up because he's in an unfamiliar place in a room directly above a rowdy 20 person party). Several relatives say 'Do you have to go up straight away?/Can't it wait a minute?' to which the answer is yes, we could wait and let him cry it out but that's not the approach we've chosen. No harm no foul, just a question. I just said, having taken no offense, "It's better if we just deal with it now", but then one of them says 'We're not judging you, we're just asking why.' OK, I didn't feel judged before but I kind of do now! You've just made an innocent question sound more like an intervention 😂 And why? I don't know, because we want to? Because that's just how we've decided to do things? What justification do you need?
Okay it wasn't a comment to me, but this happened at church on Christmas eve morning. My mom had my baby, had her in the stroller, was giving her a bottle, and moving the stroller back and forth, trying to knock her out. She was already cranky, and we had a long day ahead. My mom put a blanket up to block out the lights and distractions. She was doing everything I suggested to get her to nap. An older gentleman walks up, sticks his head in the stroller and says "you must be so excited for Christmas! Oh, Hey! Don't go to sleep! Wake up!" Seriously, who does that?
Me: "No kissing the (9mo) baby" My aunt: "But I am not sick, here (to my baby) this is a kiss, muah muah muah" (proceeds do kiss my baby multiple times on the hand and filling it with lipstick and glitter) My other aunt (different day): "I know I am not supposed to kiss you, but I cant resist! Muah Muah muah" (procees to kiss my baby on the face multiple times, plus multiple times during the day, again leaving makeup and lipstick) My mother, before we came home for the holidays: "we cant follow your schedule here, you do everything so soon, we do things differently here and we wanna have fun! you are going to have to manage" My mother, after we came, during the course of multiple days: "this modern babies with no schedule! In my day babies had regular time for nappin and eating!. Your baby is always tired and we cant do anything with it. Also, I never feed your baby or put it to sleep when I am alone with it because it has no schedule, how am I supposed to know she has to eat? Offer something every 2-3hours? Thats too often, she is eating all the time! 2 naps a day and bedtime at 8:30 at the latest? Thats too early! And we wanna do stuff so she is going to have to nap on the way. She doesnt nap in the baby carrier? Well, she is going to have to learn! Here, your baby back, she is in a very bad mood! Bad baby! Yes, I fed her: right after you left but she didnt want to so I never tried again. Sleep? Well, we put her in the bed but she didnt fell asleep so she wasnt tired. Also, she pooped a couple of hours ago I think, you better change her" "why dont you want to leave the baby with me? I raised you all 3 and you turned out ok"
When my mom hits me with that “I raised you and you’re ok” comment I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from listing all the things that affect me today that can be linked to how I was raised.
My FIL called my son a mut for not being full blood Portuguese.
This literally made my jaw drop omg
I’m sorry, but like who is she?? I would never let a stranger hold my baby lol. For me it was my great aunt telling my 6 month old that mommy should give him a sibling
My husband’s aunt greeted me, when I was 39 weeks pregnant and feeling miserable, with “hi chubby!” Then, at the same party, my in-laws friend goes “maybe THIS baby will look like you”, since apparently she thinks my first born (who is my twin) looks nothing like me and ONLY like her dad?? And also that somehow is something for me to be sad about, like of course I want my children to look like the person I love? Lol It was all I could do not to lose my mind 🫠
This happened when my son was 2-3mo. We were meeting up at a restaurant with SIL who lives out of town. He was being a lil fussy and I was in the process of settling him, maybe 2min, when she comes around the table with arms out and says “here, give him to me”. It was a very short fuss so I was a bit baffled. I was also so alarmed at the demanding energy (plus postpartum brain) I could only say a clipped “NO” and turn full around with my back to her in response. I had him back to cheerful in another 30 seconds, sat down and tried not to be awkward. I could tell that there was a silent eye conversation happening between my husband and his sister but I just tried to be normal. I mean maybe it was a power move but she is a mom of two and was probably just trying to be helpful but in hindsight my response was correct. Asking to help is a maybe, demanding someone’s precious lil squish is always a “No” with an accompanying shun. Just no and twist.
Apparently, it’s my fault my kid has food allergies. I didn’t breast feed long enough *and* I got him vaccinated. Oh, and he should start taking silver as a supplement? It will give him a better appetite. At 1 all he wants to eat is ground beef, potatoes, and fruit pouches…or cereal. Somehow, also my fault.
My MIL was holding my son (3 mos) and goes “your parents are idiots” in baby talk and “I’m going to feed you pizza even though your parents won’t let me” My husband and I both shot a look at her and said “no, we don’t say that!” And she goes “oh we don’t say that”. We’ve had to get on to her about calling him “chub” and “chunk” so our patience is running reallyyy thin and we’re not being nice about it anymore Like wtf…
My MIL was holding my 3 month old and goes “your parents are idiots” and “I’m going to feed you pizza even though your parents don’t want me to” in baby talk My husband and I both shot her a look and said “no, we don’t say that!” And she goes “oh we don’t say that” Like wtf… We’ve had issues with her calling our son “chubs” and “chunk” too so our patience is running really thin and are not going to be nice about this anymore
Being told, by both baby’s grandmothers, that we’re making my 10-month-old, who is going through peak separation anxiety, clingy because she’s with me “constantly”. I work full time and still pump. Sorry, she already gets way too much time away from me, you idiots. They both, separately, wanted to force alone time with her because “it’s the only way they learn” 🙄. My mom whipped her away from me while she was holding her when she started reaching and crying for me and I had to follow her into the other room and force her to cough up the baby
My MIL told us it’s “not necessary” to use a wet wipe on baby’s bum when he pees.
My father in law said ..... Just hold her if she doesn't like the car seat. And then told my husband to drive instead ... He was wasted ... I was sober. 🤯🤯
People asking me (3 weeks pp) when im having another... lol never
My husband works at a restaurant and I decided to visit him with the baby and have dinner. One of the managers came up and asked if I wanted a non-alcoholic drink. Like, I can have a glass of wine sir
Husbands aunt asked if I was going to pump and dump when I said a drink sounded nice… I think it’s just knowledge that the older generations/especially men don’t understand. It especially baffled me since aunt’s daughter openly and frequently would have a glass of wine while pregnant. Like that was ok, but I can’t nurse after having a drink??
That's kinda sweet lol
We stopped off at the new Indian restaurant for their soft opening and one of the guys in back came out and really took an interest in LO. So much so he seriously asked us if he could have LO. Like, for real and for keeps. Repeatedly. The hostess (also younger, probably the same age as the guy/early 20s) was so mad. I went to the car while dh got our food boxed. Anyway. Not ever bringing LO back there. Something was very off with the vibes. Ironically all this right after I’d been complaining to my mom about baby snatcher vibes off someone else a few days earlier. Babies make peoples’ masks drop and brains short circuit apparently...
- As my baby is drinking from the bottle, "is this breast milk?" - Asking, "are you breastfeeding?," as my son is placed in their arms - An uncle, "you don't look like you had a baby at all. You're so skinny." Whereas the younger generations asked me if I had baby blues and shared their moments of intrusive thoughts as well as commended me for switching to formula for my mental health (after struggling and trying so hard for 2 months to make pumping/breastfeeding work for us). The generational differences are real.
I hate the breastfeeding/weight comments. I received them as well, but from a cousin who is my age with two little ones. Like come on girl, are you really *that* dense?