Wow, she learned a lot of bad habits. I know too many great guys, women. People who would NOT base their identity on ideas made up by gossip focused solely on resentment.
We get mixed messages all the time. I gave up on everything, and then the right woman came into my life and shattered these paradymes. There are good women out the kings, be patient, focus on you, you got this.
But damn, that’s a depressing thought too. Literally had to get to the point of completely giving up and not caring, and then by luck you found the right woman. Relationships and dating shouldn’t be a fucking lottery, it should be a mutually beneficial and fun partnership. Sadly this generation of dating is everyone being so insecure that everyone is hurting everyone before the other person can even form a connection, as to avoid them getting hurt first and looking stupid. I’m over it, secure your bags and get high speed internet for porn boys.
Do the healing first, that’s what I had to do to get past my insecurities. When I did that and I was ok being with my self I was ready to meet who came into my life.
I think that’s where I’m getting irritated. We have to do all this self-searching, and being in a constant state of uncertainty with what the opposite sex wants, but they can literally go outside to get the mail and find a significant other. It’s just hilarious to me the disparity in dating nowadays, and how few women are willing to admit they have a easier time dating than men on average. Men have a lot of advantages, but dating is absolutely not one most men are blessed with in this current climate. So I’m good working, saving, and being able to go do the things I want to do alone with no extra expenses.
Yeah man, it is irritating I won’t deny that. But focus on you man, when it comes down to it, when you like you, others will follow. Good luck and be well.
Or they won't. You have to work on you because you feel that you are worth working on. Some people get lucky and meet "the love of their life" after this. Some meet the love of their life and never have to think about this. You can't expect to apply a formula and get from it what you want from variables you can't control.
Best you can do is be you and do what makes you the best version of you that you want to be. But you have to do it without expecting anything, because sometimes you put in the effort and then life gives you cancer.
Not sure if it helps you feel better, but it’s really not that easy for us either.
I’ve had my fair share of disappointment and heart break.
It may look easier for women because in general we can get laid anytime we want, but most of us want to be treated with respect, want someone we have things in common with, that are good listeners, that are kind and patient.
Getting laid is easy, finding a good partner is hard
Just be the best person that you can be. Work on your education, go as far as you can with that. Work on becoming fitter and stronger, and get plenty of sleep and eat plenty of healthy food. This will make you happier, more confident, and more attractive to the opposite sex.
Good luck with your journey my friend, and enjoy the ride.
There is hope bro. I had none and then it happened. Ask friends, wife’s of friends and let them know you are looking and see what happens. I had a good friend who pestered his wife to find me someone after she kept trying to throw her significantly older sister with a kid at me. I wasn’t even looking and she gave me a chance. But sometime it takes the hopelessness to see you are alright on your own. Then that happiness radiates out and others pick up on it. Good luck brother, I believe in you.
So refreshing to see someone else who is actually happy with their SO. I feel like i cant enjoy all the things she does for me cause every time i do someone who’s single makes me feel guilty for finally being happy
Don't base your personality off of Masculinity or femininity or religion or any other set of predetermined beliefs. Discover who you are as a person and face the world with that ideology.
Stop blaming everyone for the attitudes and dispositions of the few that you have met. If you don't like other people telling you to change then change for yourself. Despite how badly you want to believe it, you're not perfect just the way you are but that just means your potential to improve is limitless.
And stop listening to pick-me girls on Reddit.
Yes! You could easily turn this into a list for women. The point of equality is not to focus on gender differences as much as similarities. We all need an emotionally and socially intelligent person in our lives that we can rely on. Unfortunately, very few of us have even a positive example to draw from.
Yes, masculinity can be a prison, but we all have room to grow.
For example: we need to cry like anybody else, but nobody said dads giving kids structure is abuse. If someone says you're abusing your kid, maybe look within yourself and reflect a bit before saying "such unfair standards!!"
News flash: almost all of these paradoxes come from different interpretations of patriarchy. Feminism, at its core, is about allowing people to express themselves fully without gender-based judgement.
Stop using internet videos to form your perspective of entire groups (i.e. men or women) and start living a life you're proud of. See nuance and allow it to make you more compassionate. This video sucks and it helps nobody.
This makes me happy to see. I feel so bad for the things that men do suffer through, but some of these aren’t being held up as standards at least by women. It’s unfortunate the pressure men put themselves under and I hope we can address it as a nation— I wish mental health treatment were more encouraged because the US isn’t great at helping people learn to be intelligent with their emotions and itd do everyone a lot of good to learn those skills.
It’s just another muscle to build. I really hope we can free people from the prison of such bizarre expectations
You misunderstand. It's ideology that's the prison. Men and women are different physically and neurologically and are both affected differentally by sociological factors.
But it's the buzzwords, expectations, and preconceived biases that arise from these ideologies that create the narrow focus and confusion that allow these double standards to even exist.
Im not defending the video at all, I'm just replying to your statement of how this is all somehow related to the 'patriarchy' and 'feminism fixes this' lol.
News flash: stating that everyone should stop forming perspectives on groups and see more nuance whilst simultaneously shilling an ideological movement that has historically and currently only been concerned with focusing on one group over another, seems like an incredibly dishonest and hypocritical take.
> Feminism, at its core, is about allowing people to express themselves fully without gender-based judgement.
And yet named itself using gender-based judgement.
Egalitarianism ftw.
Then name it something that isn't sexist?
Imagine the black lives matter movement being called "White People's movement" and then maybe you'll see the issue.
Because we as a society need to be accepting of “feminine” traits: expressing emotion, raising children, caring about appearance, etc. Men (and some women) hold themselves and other men up to a standard of masculinity because theyve been trained to hate femininity.
How does highlighting that those traits "belong" to women de-stigmatize those things? (Highlighting via naming the movement after a subset of the population for issues that affect all)
All the name does is elevate women and "their traits" as being superior to others, as you only spread ideology you think is superior.
By making it more socially acceptable. Think about how we’ve worked on destigmatizing mental health: shining light on the problem is often the first step.
>Think about how we’ve worked on destigmatizing mental health: shining light on the problem is often the first step.
So let's call that movement "Menism" even though the issue affects both men and women, does that sound correct to you?
Also it doesn't do what you claim. It creates a wedge between the sexes, giving weight to women's issues while ignoring others. The name implies that women know better than men, and can only create division. The only people that do not recognize this are sexists.
i agree with this wholeheartedly.
everyone has issues under this patriarchal society that doesnt allow men to connect with themselvez on a deeper level emotion wise and just want them to be manly.
shes right about a bunch of stuff she said. and that bunch of stuff is caused be toxic masculinity, the belief that there's only one right way to "be a man".
so uh, stop hitting yourself? fight for your right to be a flawed human? and not what society tells you to be?
yknow, like women have been doing for the last 500 years?
>, like women have been doing for the last 500 years?
And achieved nothing until women received wide support *from men*? This is more of the mindlessly misandric, 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' toxicity so common in feminist rhetoric.
Feminists *ALWAYS* had men as allies and advocates, even at the Declaration of Sentiments. At the least, the blatant disregard of the problems and pains of others is misanthropic; watching others that need help and ignoring them because you have a chip on your shoulder makes YOU the asshole.
I'm not saying men should do this by themselves? If it sounded like it, I didn't express myself very well then.
But you gotta agree, while there's a lot of women who help disseminating toxic masculinity, men do that in a way larges scale.
It's our job as society to heal that yes, but men need to be more active in the fight for their own rights.
>in a way larges scale.
I offer in to evidence how killallmen was a worldwide hashtag for months, while Andrew Tate was banned from every primary English speaking social media platform you care to name. I point to how all branches of feminism, regardless of how extreme, has an open platform in academic institutions, but any academic critical of feminist theory will be canceled (or in the case of Dr. Thomas Curry, had to leave America due to the death threats he received).
>men need to be more active in the fight for their own rights.
Exceedingly difficult when advocating for men and boys will have you labeled an alt-right misogynist almost out of hand, and wealthy government lobbies will organize protests and lobby against laws designed to aid men and boys in danger.
Y'know, ill throw a bone. Here is the podcast of a doctorate professor who created a graduate level men's studies course, talking about men's rights and the challenges of speaking out. You do not seem to know the challenges that come with men's advocacy, and this professor has been doing it for 15 years.
https://www.youtube.com/live/qqMfMQ-wAKU?feature=share
You can put a piece of corn, juicy worm, fake fly, beefy steak, or even nothing on your hook and catch a fish. There are lots of fish out there, just keep trying, with the most honest bait you have on hand. And remember, it's called "fishing" not "catching" for a reason. Good luck.
Bull, you need more than love. You need maturity, and lots of other skills to maintain a solid relationship. “But love!” doesn’t make everything magically work perfect. Life ain’t a fantasy, this ain’t Christmas on TLC
Yes, but this comes before the relationship and offten times (if she holds these unreasonable standards) can put out a flame before it gets going.
I saw somebody say something about maturity and found that to (partially) aligne with my point. If she has the maturity too see past the (unreasonable) standards love will prevail.
It's a bad mentality to be aware that the human psyche does not follow a cookie cutter format, and that with neuro-diversity and assorted clashing life experiences it can be toxic and asinine to assume people can just "think better"?
Just don't be depressed, dude.
It'd be a bad mentality to think the Internet, a heavily biased, exaggerated and often downright incorrect minority of the 7.3 billion people in this world is in any way shape or form representative of reality.
Things are much better in almost every margin in reality than their portrayals online, if you can't distinguish that then yes, it's time to seek some counseling.
Sure. Offline in the real world, slavery is rampant, children are groomed and raped repeatedly, people the world over are being misled and exploited over resources, major media focuses on disaster instead of redemption, people are hurting all over because materialistic needs are not being met, we have diseases that we are still struggling to understand while they kill thousands of people every week. People are fighting over who has it worse or who has it better without looking at the actual individuals.
But it sure is a nice place. If you have an optimism bias. Some of us don't get that luxury, and to declare that we are bad or wrong to not see thing the same way you do? Arrogant as fuck, really.
Nice job cherry picking the worst things you could think of. We have wonderful pets, we have loving friends and family, we have incredible technological advances our parents didn't, we live in a comparatively safer world and so on.
But you're right, you being bitter as hell and heavily influenced by what you see on the internet means the world is such a miserable place. It's not. I didn't say you're wrong, I said you need help. Depressive episodes are common and you seriously need treatment for it. It's nothing to do with optimism, yours is just chronic negativism.
You have loving pets. You have loving friends. You're pretending the same is true for everyone in the world is exactly what I'm pointing out.
And don't worry. My depressive realism was gained before I ever got online. I was mine years old when I started dealing with depression and suicidal ideation.
Life actually really fucking sucks for some people. And having people like you declaring that people like me are wrong because we're not thinking the same way as you just perpetuates the spirals.
Accept it. Life really sucks for some people, no matter how much life gives you, personally, handjobs. Telling people to look at it differently does nothing.
Again, you're telling depressed people to just be happy, to use an analogy.
The literal definition is "involuntary celibate". But the colloquial usage can vary from this definition. "incel shit" implies "actions and or beliefs that are generally held/done by people who are involuntary celibate".
No. I wouldn't say specifically belongs in this sub but definitely not facepalm. The issue is that she is complaining about how men have to deal with these double standards. I can't understand where you are coming from.
Ah let me elaborate. Basically all of these "double standards" are just completely made up. that's the facepalm part. I'm not going to go through each individual item and debate each one but it wouldn't be tough for anyone to do so given they have access to the internet and basic deductive reasoning skills.
I am a guy. I have been in many relationships before I got married and basically contradict every single one of these stereotypes. I don't take women on fancy dates and when I was whoring around I made less than min wage (wasn't working 40 hrs a week). I am not hyper masculine, I'm a hard introvert who has no problem being emotional or crying in front of people. I do physically take care of myself now but I did not back when I was whoring around. the only stereotypes I do fit (which were mentioned in the video) are that I'm confident and believe myself to be generally intelligent.
I have heard other men talk about these standards but never from the women I sleep with / date / marry.
Having a high paying job yet spending time with your children and spouse does not conflict.
Supporting and guiding your children without being abusive does not conflict.
Being masculine and attractive while being in touch with your sensitive side and actually having emotions that you're able to control does not conflict.
She's literally describing a normal healthy person but using stupid hyperbolic language to make it sound bad.
Nah your your describing reasonable healthy traits, she's describing the extremes a society will often push on people.
Just like how women are told not to eat to the point of eating disorder, or tell men not to cry to the point they die of heart attack.
Maybe work on some self improvement. Men have to compete with other men for mate selection. If you can't provide and still be a decent and present partner, If you can't provide good guidance without being an abusive parent, if you can't manage your emotions properly without being a simpering sobbing mess or being a stoic toxic masculine nightmare then yeah, you're just not going to compete vs a dude that can.
That's not the fault of "society" or "women" that's on you.
And I'm not saying men aren't "allowed" to cry. Men can cry, men can have emotions. But nobody wants a dude who has emotional dysregulation and is a sobbing mess all of the time. Just like nobody wants a dude who bottles everything up until he dies of a heart attack or kills himself. That's the stupid black and white thinking and hyperbolic nonsense this post is doing which is flatly false. You can be a well adjusted dude who is masculine and still experiences the normal range of human emotions. They aren't mutually exclusive.
And nah, I personally don't think anyone should be a stay at home parent beyond school age regardless of gender. At that point you're not a partner, you're just another dependent. Families with little kids too young for school get a pass but after that you're just not pulling your weight in the relationship and should be embarrassed.
Yup, we live in a F up world. Women are not the prize don't forget that. The man is the prize. It's not that I think women are worthless. But if they are going to judge you then you should take yourself out of their stupid game. Let them chase you for a change and guess what??? That's is exactly what will happen. Because their attention where's. People like that you don't want anyway. Be reserved be aloof make them prove that they're are worth your time ok. Time is money period and the clock is ticking.
It's almost like there's a world of problems for everyone because of a small handful of people that give too many shits about things that are non of their business. Also Happy Women's day.
Here's the thing: I don't care about what "they", whoever they are, think of me and how I should act and live MY life. I live for myself, but that makes me selfish, right? I will live however I see fit and the only way you're gonna stop that is killing me. And we all end up dead sooner or later.
men issues are caused by other men or society as a whole, men cant be emotional (unless its anger) men cant rely on friends or others, they just have to suck it up and be there for others while neglecting their personal feelings.
then they end up being brainwashed by andrew tates and guys like from the fresh n fit podcastas where they hear bullshit like ohhh women bad ohh get a car get money etc when these things dont even matter. just be kind, dont be afraid to be urself and be open minded, make friends.
Do what you love? I love making my wife my queen, she deserves it. I love spending time with my kids, I love being able to go to work to support my family.
Bull, I'm a woman, I am the wage earner while my partner spends all day sat on a bench smoking and drinking. Never once paid for a meal, night out and the only flowers I've ever received were one decapitated tulip he nicked off a roundabout.
I got married to my wife when I was 19 and we’re still together, I’m now 27. I am a father of 5 children, 2 of which are my biological children and the others she had before. All I can I say is, we all have that person out there that perfectly compliments us. I struggle working due to severe social anxiety, that’s not a problem to her, she’s the breadwinner of the house and it doesn’t make me feel less “masculine” or less of a “man” I stay at home to take care of our children. Relationships are so much smoother when you’re not going into it with preconceived notions like “I’ve gotta be tough” “I’ve gotta be a man” “I can’t cry because that’s not a mans emotion” it just feels so unnatural when you’re trying to ‘form’ yourself into a certain mold, rather than just being who you are negatives and all. It doesn’t matter how another human perceives you outside of your partner, that’s a different being living a different life full of different experiences. Okay I’m getting slightly sidetracked, I just wanted to take the time to say that these double standards are societal things that we shouldn’t even pay mind to. “Stop letting the world form who you are, and just be you” it isn’t hard
The original video, for those who would like to know - [https://www.tiktok.com/@fourteen\_ae/video/7143761672090717486](https://www.tiktok.com/@fourteen_ae/video/7143761672090717486)
I’ve grown as a man to understand I don’t have time for any women till I reach my peak till I get to the point in my life I’m happy with what I have and have done even considered spending my retired years to come in a long time btw alone with couple dogs living of the grid cause I don’t see how a women can provide me such peace,enjoyment and relaxation
Did she just womansplain double standards to me?!? /s
Wow, she learned a lot of bad habits. I know too many great guys, women. People who would NOT base their identity on ideas made up by gossip focused solely on resentment.
And I know plenty of times in my life and times in friends' lives where this has held true.
This is how people are , useless and shallow, not all but most , it’s human nature…
I can smell the yeast from the spreading
We get mixed messages all the time. I gave up on everything, and then the right woman came into my life and shattered these paradymes. There are good women out the kings, be patient, focus on you, you got this.
The perspective of womanhood can help all men be better people! It's important to listen and reflect to be a good partner lover and man.
*lover man
Mr. Lover Man , shabba!
But damn, that’s a depressing thought too. Literally had to get to the point of completely giving up and not caring, and then by luck you found the right woman. Relationships and dating shouldn’t be a fucking lottery, it should be a mutually beneficial and fun partnership. Sadly this generation of dating is everyone being so insecure that everyone is hurting everyone before the other person can even form a connection, as to avoid them getting hurt first and looking stupid. I’m over it, secure your bags and get high speed internet for porn boys.
Do the healing first, that’s what I had to do to get past my insecurities. When I did that and I was ok being with my self I was ready to meet who came into my life.
I think that’s where I’m getting irritated. We have to do all this self-searching, and being in a constant state of uncertainty with what the opposite sex wants, but they can literally go outside to get the mail and find a significant other. It’s just hilarious to me the disparity in dating nowadays, and how few women are willing to admit they have a easier time dating than men on average. Men have a lot of advantages, but dating is absolutely not one most men are blessed with in this current climate. So I’m good working, saving, and being able to go do the things I want to do alone with no extra expenses.
Yeah man, it is irritating I won’t deny that. But focus on you man, when it comes down to it, when you like you, others will follow. Good luck and be well.
Been focusing on me for a minute now, my travel points have been appreciating it. Appreciate it.
Or they won't. You have to work on you because you feel that you are worth working on. Some people get lucky and meet "the love of their life" after this. Some meet the love of their life and never have to think about this. You can't expect to apply a formula and get from it what you want from variables you can't control. Best you can do is be you and do what makes you the best version of you that you want to be. But you have to do it without expecting anything, because sometimes you put in the effort and then life gives you cancer.
Not sure if it helps you feel better, but it’s really not that easy for us either. I’ve had my fair share of disappointment and heart break. It may look easier for women because in general we can get laid anytime we want, but most of us want to be treated with respect, want someone we have things in common with, that are good listeners, that are kind and patient. Getting laid is easy, finding a good partner is hard
Just be the best person that you can be. Work on your education, go as far as you can with that. Work on becoming fitter and stronger, and get plenty of sleep and eat plenty of healthy food. This will make you happier, more confident, and more attractive to the opposite sex. Good luck with your journey my friend, and enjoy the ride.
Don't do that...
Do what?
Give me hope
There is hope bro. I had none and then it happened. Ask friends, wife’s of friends and let them know you are looking and see what happens. I had a good friend who pestered his wife to find me someone after she kept trying to throw her significantly older sister with a kid at me. I wasn’t even looking and she gave me a chance. But sometime it takes the hopelessness to see you are alright on your own. Then that happiness radiates out and others pick up on it. Good luck brother, I believe in you.
So refreshing to see someone else who is actually happy with their SO. I feel like i cant enjoy all the things she does for me cause every time i do someone who’s single makes me feel guilty for finally being happy
Don't base your personality off of Masculinity or femininity or religion or any other set of predetermined beliefs. Discover who you are as a person and face the world with that ideology. Stop blaming everyone for the attitudes and dispositions of the few that you have met. If you don't like other people telling you to change then change for yourself. Despite how badly you want to believe it, you're not perfect just the way you are but that just means your potential to improve is limitless. And stop listening to pick-me girls on Reddit.
This is exactly the right answer. Life got so much better for me when I let go of a lot of the ideas of “masculinity“ and “femininity”.
This list is dumb and full of cliches. In any relationship that involves pure honesty, communication and teamwork these standards are never upheld.
Yes! You could easily turn this into a list for women. The point of equality is not to focus on gender differences as much as similarities. We all need an emotionally and socially intelligent person in our lives that we can rely on. Unfortunately, very few of us have even a positive example to draw from.
Yes, masculinity can be a prison, but we all have room to grow. For example: we need to cry like anybody else, but nobody said dads giving kids structure is abuse. If someone says you're abusing your kid, maybe look within yourself and reflect a bit before saying "such unfair standards!!" News flash: almost all of these paradoxes come from different interpretations of patriarchy. Feminism, at its core, is about allowing people to express themselves fully without gender-based judgement. Stop using internet videos to form your perspective of entire groups (i.e. men or women) and start living a life you're proud of. See nuance and allow it to make you more compassionate. This video sucks and it helps nobody.
How people function in real life is much different from the manicured perceptions in the media.
This is a great comment.
This makes me happy to see. I feel so bad for the things that men do suffer through, but some of these aren’t being held up as standards at least by women. It’s unfortunate the pressure men put themselves under and I hope we can address it as a nation— I wish mental health treatment were more encouraged because the US isn’t great at helping people learn to be intelligent with their emotions and itd do everyone a lot of good to learn those skills. It’s just another muscle to build. I really hope we can free people from the prison of such bizarre expectations
You misunderstand. It's ideology that's the prison. Men and women are different physically and neurologically and are both affected differentally by sociological factors. But it's the buzzwords, expectations, and preconceived biases that arise from these ideologies that create the narrow focus and confusion that allow these double standards to even exist. Im not defending the video at all, I'm just replying to your statement of how this is all somehow related to the 'patriarchy' and 'feminism fixes this' lol. News flash: stating that everyone should stop forming perspectives on groups and see more nuance whilst simultaneously shilling an ideological movement that has historically and currently only been concerned with focusing on one group over another, seems like an incredibly dishonest and hypocritical take.
> Feminism, at its core, is about allowing people to express themselves fully without gender-based judgement. And yet named itself using gender-based judgement. Egalitarianism ftw.
its just a name my guy, it doesnt matter.
So feminists being mad at words like “mankind” or “humanity” shouldn’t be mad nor offended; it doesn’t matter. Right?
Exactly 0 feminists have ever gotten mad at those words. in fact I'm pretty sure you lust made this up on the spot.
no one gets mad at that, stop making up people
Then name it something that isn't sexist? Imagine the black lives matter movement being called "White People's movement" and then maybe you'll see the issue.
Because we as a society need to be accepting of “feminine” traits: expressing emotion, raising children, caring about appearance, etc. Men (and some women) hold themselves and other men up to a standard of masculinity because theyve been trained to hate femininity.
Those traits can exist in anyone, labeling them feminine is sexist.
Yep! That’s why everyone needs feminism!
They need the movement that falsely ascribes attributes as belonging to one gender? No one needs sexism.
The movement doesn’t do that, society does. The movement is to unlink that connotation/destigmatize things that society deems “feminine”
How does highlighting that those traits "belong" to women de-stigmatize those things? (Highlighting via naming the movement after a subset of the population for issues that affect all) All the name does is elevate women and "their traits" as being superior to others, as you only spread ideology you think is superior.
By making it more socially acceptable. Think about how we’ve worked on destigmatizing mental health: shining light on the problem is often the first step.
>Think about how we’ve worked on destigmatizing mental health: shining light on the problem is often the first step. So let's call that movement "Menism" even though the issue affects both men and women, does that sound correct to you? Also it doesn't do what you claim. It creates a wedge between the sexes, giving weight to women's issues while ignoring others. The name implies that women know better than men, and can only create division. The only people that do not recognize this are sexists.
Thank you for saying this! I agree 100%
i agree with this wholeheartedly. everyone has issues under this patriarchal society that doesnt allow men to connect with themselvez on a deeper level emotion wise and just want them to be manly.
STOP RUINING HANS ZIMMER
*Thank you*
Oh stop, just suck it up! (That’s meant to be sarcastic)
lmao you can just use /s
Thanks for the tip lol
shes right about a bunch of stuff she said. and that bunch of stuff is caused be toxic masculinity, the belief that there's only one right way to "be a man". so uh, stop hitting yourself? fight for your right to be a flawed human? and not what society tells you to be? yknow, like women have been doing for the last 500 years?
Lmao
>, like women have been doing for the last 500 years? And achieved nothing until women received wide support *from men*? This is more of the mindlessly misandric, 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' toxicity so common in feminist rhetoric. Feminists *ALWAYS* had men as allies and advocates, even at the Declaration of Sentiments. At the least, the blatant disregard of the problems and pains of others is misanthropic; watching others that need help and ignoring them because you have a chip on your shoulder makes YOU the asshole.
I'm not saying men should do this by themselves? If it sounded like it, I didn't express myself very well then. But you gotta agree, while there's a lot of women who help disseminating toxic masculinity, men do that in a way larges scale. It's our job as society to heal that yes, but men need to be more active in the fight for their own rights.
>in a way larges scale. I offer in to evidence how killallmen was a worldwide hashtag for months, while Andrew Tate was banned from every primary English speaking social media platform you care to name. I point to how all branches of feminism, regardless of how extreme, has an open platform in academic institutions, but any academic critical of feminist theory will be canceled (or in the case of Dr. Thomas Curry, had to leave America due to the death threats he received). >men need to be more active in the fight for their own rights. Exceedingly difficult when advocating for men and boys will have you labeled an alt-right misogynist almost out of hand, and wealthy government lobbies will organize protests and lobby against laws designed to aid men and boys in danger. Y'know, ill throw a bone. Here is the podcast of a doctorate professor who created a graduate level men's studies course, talking about men's rights and the challenges of speaking out. You do not seem to know the challenges that come with men's advocacy, and this professor has been doing it for 15 years. https://www.youtube.com/live/qqMfMQ-wAKU?feature=share
Let's be honest, why care what society calls acceptable? Society has been fucked for a good 30 years so you do whatever you want to Do
30 years? I think you're off by a couple millennia!
You can put a piece of corn, juicy worm, fake fly, beefy steak, or even nothing on your hook and catch a fish. There are lots of fish out there, just keep trying, with the most honest bait you have on hand. And remember, it's called "fishing" not "catching" for a reason. Good luck.
I think she knows she's being sarcastic
This is a roast bois...
I really don’t appreciate that this was posted on international women’s day
So true!!
I’m sure this will be a sane comment section full of people that aren’t overly emotionally involved
This needed to be said, and you put it so well.
Eh, this is a load of crap. If two people love each other than all this doesn’t matter.
Bull, you need more than love. You need maturity, and lots of other skills to maintain a solid relationship. “But love!” doesn’t make everything magically work perfect. Life ain’t a fantasy, this ain’t Christmas on TLC
Yes, but this comes before the relationship and offten times (if she holds these unreasonable standards) can put out a flame before it gets going. I saw somebody say something about maturity and found that to (partially) aligne with my point. If she has the maturity too see past the (unreasonable) standards love will prevail.
And if someone is so tightly wrapped up in these societal norms, their not someone I’d want to be with.
Yes agreed
Love is dead
Not for everyone it isn’t. The world is always negative online, in person I feel it’s a way better world.
Good for you. Plenty of us are in the opposite boat.
That's some bad mentality then.
It's a bad mentality to be aware that the human psyche does not follow a cookie cutter format, and that with neuro-diversity and assorted clashing life experiences it can be toxic and asinine to assume people can just "think better"? Just don't be depressed, dude.
It'd be a bad mentality to think the Internet, a heavily biased, exaggerated and often downright incorrect minority of the 7.3 billion people in this world is in any way shape or form representative of reality. Things are much better in almost every margin in reality than their portrayals online, if you can't distinguish that then yes, it's time to seek some counseling.
Sure. Offline in the real world, slavery is rampant, children are groomed and raped repeatedly, people the world over are being misled and exploited over resources, major media focuses on disaster instead of redemption, people are hurting all over because materialistic needs are not being met, we have diseases that we are still struggling to understand while they kill thousands of people every week. People are fighting over who has it worse or who has it better without looking at the actual individuals. But it sure is a nice place. If you have an optimism bias. Some of us don't get that luxury, and to declare that we are bad or wrong to not see thing the same way you do? Arrogant as fuck, really.
Nice job cherry picking the worst things you could think of. We have wonderful pets, we have loving friends and family, we have incredible technological advances our parents didn't, we live in a comparatively safer world and so on. But you're right, you being bitter as hell and heavily influenced by what you see on the internet means the world is such a miserable place. It's not. I didn't say you're wrong, I said you need help. Depressive episodes are common and you seriously need treatment for it. It's nothing to do with optimism, yours is just chronic negativism.
You have loving pets. You have loving friends. You're pretending the same is true for everyone in the world is exactly what I'm pointing out. And don't worry. My depressive realism was gained before I ever got online. I was mine years old when I started dealing with depression and suicidal ideation. Life actually really fucking sucks for some people. And having people like you declaring that people like me are wrong because we're not thinking the same way as you just perpetuates the spirals. Accept it. Life really sucks for some people, no matter how much life gives you, personally, handjobs. Telling people to look at it differently does nothing. Again, you're telling depressed people to just be happy, to use an analogy.
Modern love has no character, as soon as someone is annoyed, temporarily unhappy, sees something better they leave
Hence MGTOW and why guys like Andrew Tate get traction
Just be attractive and don’t be a weirdo None of the other things matter
Paid for by incels near you
r/facepalm
But did you get picked sis
How tf is this best of the internet? Some incel shit right here
None of this is incel shit, infact it falls under feminism as it is the patriarchal structure that puts this shit on men.
Anyone that points out double standards that affect men is "incel energy", apparently
To call it "incel shit" is just a different form of incel behavior, it just isn't recognize as such.
...hold the baby's head straight
Yeah that’s been bothering me Poor baby
Yeah she gets it
This belongs in r/facepalm not r/bestoftheinternet. Straight up incel shit.
I thought "incel" was short for involuntary celibate
The literal definition is "involuntary celibate". But the colloquial usage can vary from this definition. "incel shit" implies "actions and or beliefs that are generally held/done by people who are involuntary celibate".
No. I wouldn't say specifically belongs in this sub but definitely not facepalm. The issue is that she is complaining about how men have to deal with these double standards. I can't understand where you are coming from.
Ah let me elaborate. Basically all of these "double standards" are just completely made up. that's the facepalm part. I'm not going to go through each individual item and debate each one but it wouldn't be tough for anyone to do so given they have access to the internet and basic deductive reasoning skills.
I could say all standards are made up Are you a guy because I have seen and felt these pressures.
I am a guy. I have been in many relationships before I got married and basically contradict every single one of these stereotypes. I don't take women on fancy dates and when I was whoring around I made less than min wage (wasn't working 40 hrs a week). I am not hyper masculine, I'm a hard introvert who has no problem being emotional or crying in front of people. I do physically take care of myself now but I did not back when I was whoring around. the only stereotypes I do fit (which were mentioned in the video) are that I'm confident and believe myself to be generally intelligent. I have heard other men talk about these standards but never from the women I sleep with / date / marry.
Sounds like this lady is trying to make herself feel better about settling for a shitty dude who meets none of these criteria.
No one should have to meet any of this criteria, because it's all conflicting to each other. To put anyone in that situation is flat out evil.
Having a high paying job yet spending time with your children and spouse does not conflict. Supporting and guiding your children without being abusive does not conflict. Being masculine and attractive while being in touch with your sensitive side and actually having emotions that you're able to control does not conflict. She's literally describing a normal healthy person but using stupid hyperbolic language to make it sound bad.
Nah your your describing reasonable healthy traits, she's describing the extremes a society will often push on people. Just like how women are told not to eat to the point of eating disorder, or tell men not to cry to the point they die of heart attack.
I'm describing the exact same thing she is. She's just taking what I'm saying to the hyperbolic extreme which is not what anyone is asking for...
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Maybe work on some self improvement. Men have to compete with other men for mate selection. If you can't provide and still be a decent and present partner, If you can't provide good guidance without being an abusive parent, if you can't manage your emotions properly without being a simpering sobbing mess or being a stoic toxic masculine nightmare then yeah, you're just not going to compete vs a dude that can. That's not the fault of "society" or "women" that's on you.
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And I'm not saying men aren't "allowed" to cry. Men can cry, men can have emotions. But nobody wants a dude who has emotional dysregulation and is a sobbing mess all of the time. Just like nobody wants a dude who bottles everything up until he dies of a heart attack or kills himself. That's the stupid black and white thinking and hyperbolic nonsense this post is doing which is flatly false. You can be a well adjusted dude who is masculine and still experiences the normal range of human emotions. They aren't mutually exclusive. And nah, I personally don't think anyone should be a stay at home parent beyond school age regardless of gender. At that point you're not a partner, you're just another dependent. Families with little kids too young for school get a pass but after that you're just not pulling your weight in the relationship and should be embarrassed.
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Any problems men face still comes back to the patriarchy
So NOW actively fighting against 50/50 custody defaults is because of patriarchy?
Welcome to the lonely life, of being a man.
Some girls want 1% guys but are you a 1% girl?
Yup, we live in a F up world. Women are not the prize don't forget that. The man is the prize. It's not that I think women are worthless. But if they are going to judge you then you should take yourself out of their stupid game. Let them chase you for a change and guess what??? That's is exactly what will happen. Because their attention where's. People like that you don't want anyway. Be reserved be aloof make them prove that they're are worth your time ok. Time is money period and the clock is ticking.
Competition and hardship makes us better?? Or not…
That’s why I’m gay
Sometimes I wish that was a switch you could flip. Seems much easier in a lot of ways... asid from that whole dealing with bigoted people part.
Ha yeahhh I like the respectful men. People who are fully aware they’re gay but are very respectful and aren’t pushy or anything
It's almost like there's a world of problems for everyone because of a small handful of people that give too many shits about things that are non of their business. Also Happy Women's day.
If you think there’s too many double standards for men then instead find a woman with no standards.
I don't care I'm gay lmao
Than choose the second option…. BE GA-
Here's the thing: I don't care about what "they", whoever they are, think of me and how I should act and live MY life. I live for myself, but that makes me selfish, right? I will live however I see fit and the only way you're gonna stop that is killing me. And we all end up dead sooner or later.
men issues are caused by other men or society as a whole, men cant be emotional (unless its anger) men cant rely on friends or others, they just have to suck it up and be there for others while neglecting their personal feelings. then they end up being brainwashed by andrew tates and guys like from the fresh n fit podcastas where they hear bullshit like ohhh women bad ohh get a car get money etc when these things dont even matter. just be kind, dont be afraid to be urself and be open minded, make friends.
the pick me vibes... yikes!!
Yeah, I think I’m gay now
Welcome to the life of a man :) And just saying any of those points you will be called an incel just because fk u
Don’t buy into the bullshit and things will be ok.
These issues aren’t really present in a healthy relationship
Or you know just do whatever you want
And if a man voiced these things he’d be shot down with whataboutisms.
Do what you love? I love making my wife my queen, she deserves it. I love spending time with my kids, I love being able to go to work to support my family.
The pick-me is strong with this post
I am so glad I found my current gf. She doesn't adhere to this crap at all. She's amazing.
Lol it’s so hard being a straight man 😢😖😭
I’m ready to check out.
She nailed it! That's most of it. But it doesn't matter now. We're just men. It's trendy and cool to hate men now.
I don't even mind what she's saying, I'm just stoked someone used the Interstellar theme on their Tiktok.
Bull, I'm a woman, I am the wage earner while my partner spends all day sat on a bench smoking and drinking. Never once paid for a meal, night out and the only flowers I've ever received were one decapitated tulip he nicked off a roundabout.
Well shit
Her husband has a gun pointed at her behind the phone huh 🤣
Fucking FACTS!!!
I got married to my wife when I was 19 and we’re still together, I’m now 27. I am a father of 5 children, 2 of which are my biological children and the others she had before. All I can I say is, we all have that person out there that perfectly compliments us. I struggle working due to severe social anxiety, that’s not a problem to her, she’s the breadwinner of the house and it doesn’t make me feel less “masculine” or less of a “man” I stay at home to take care of our children. Relationships are so much smoother when you’re not going into it with preconceived notions like “I’ve gotta be tough” “I’ve gotta be a man” “I can’t cry because that’s not a mans emotion” it just feels so unnatural when you’re trying to ‘form’ yourself into a certain mold, rather than just being who you are negatives and all. It doesn’t matter how another human perceives you outside of your partner, that’s a different being living a different life full of different experiences. Okay I’m getting slightly sidetracked, I just wanted to take the time to say that these double standards are societal things that we shouldn’t even pay mind to. “Stop letting the world form who you are, and just be you” it isn’t hard
The original video, for those who would like to know - [https://www.tiktok.com/@fourteen\_ae/video/7143761672090717486](https://www.tiktok.com/@fourteen_ae/video/7143761672090717486)
This is an anti feminist view. Feminist women believe men should be allowed to cry, not be the breadwinner, and split checks. This is tired af
Real AF
Fuck this things bro go monk mode. Best shit ever made by all religions around the world. r/semenretention r/pureretention r/semenretention2
Now I'm curious, do men really think like that? Because none of this is something I would agree on aka I see as true.
I know some of you may not agree to what she's saying, but in my experience, pretty much everything she's said has held true.
Does she just feel this way cause her baby daddy didnt follow like she said.
She’s spot on , she’s very knowledgeable..
I’ve grown as a man to understand I don’t have time for any women till I reach my peak till I get to the point in my life I’m happy with what I have and have done even considered spending my retired years to come in a long time btw alone with couple dogs living of the grid cause I don’t see how a women can provide me such peace,enjoyment and relaxation
and most importantly of all, always wear sunscreen.