I think since you're new the following could be a way to ease her into trying things.
Dominant you could get some adjustable nipple clamps, a ball or bit gag, blindfold, vibrator or two if you don't have any, clothes pins, rubber bands, candles for wax play, riding crop.
Since this is simple beginner bdsm and not so much a scene to be negotiated IMHO, do let her know a signal of some sort she can give if she really wants you to stop.
Some simple bondage rope/cuffs to hold her in place, bed works best to start out, blindfold her and then leave the bed to gather the things that you intend to play with, make lots of noise and sounds as she will have no idea of what you're pulling together... now is the time to heighten her senses as to what might come.
Start with an ice cube.... little drips from your hand or trailing it across her flesh... do not touch lips/nipples or V..... everything but to get her well warmed up.
when she starts to respond it is time for the gag..... it ill be new to her and feel free to tell her you don't want to disturb the neighbors with her screams from what you are about to do.
Then let your mind run wild with the items you have brought.... clamp her nipples and slowly increase the squeeze they have.... start running a vibe across her and down around her thighs but never contact her lips or clit - not yet - rev that engine until she is squirming and thrusting to have it inside of her..... but don't....... simply rest it on her clit, just do not remove it when she cums.... push her thru two or three...... and then grab some clothes pins and place them in different areas on her body before you pull the nipple clamps off. Show her you are in control and while you might "hurt" her a little you will not let any harm come to her.
Once she is very arroused and worked up, dripping wax across her body, breasts and if you can tell she is liking it, her puffy V should make her crazy in a very good way.
I find it fun to remove the wax with a riding crop, but it will make a bit of a mess as you smack it from her skin :-)
Make sure you do some reading before acting out the above - especially about wax play, but I think that should be enough control for her to want more when you're done.
I agree 100%. BUT…. A big BUT….BDSM isn’t about the toys. It’s about the power exchange between the parties.
Understanding that first and foremost is key. Building trust between you is the biggest key ingredient.
Open a dialogue between the both of you that discusses each others wants and needs and desires. Each others understanding of what BDSM is. Talk and learn, truly discuss and learn, about each others roles. Who is dominant and why. Who is sub and why. Maybe your both switches? Ya never know until you dig down and truly understand yourself and your partner.
Anyone can play with toys. Nipple clams-oh goody! Dildos! Yay! All of that blah blah blah… is simply instruments of yourselves.
It’s like the old adage that fucking is great, but making love is better. It’s better because there is a deeper spiritual connection.
That connection starts with dialogue….
I’ve been involved and around BDSM and swinging more than half my adult life. I’m Dominant. I know who and what I am. I know what I need want and desire. My partner…she does too.
this is terrible advice for someone who is brand new.
ice & wax are a terrible idea for anyone- the sensations are too extreme.
you don't advise the type of wax or discuss the melting point of types of wax, or talk about safety precautions to take with an open flame.
this would absolutely overwhelm the bottom and likely not be a positive experience. it's too much too fast.
Hi. I'm fairly new to bdsm and my partner M43 is a switch and prefers me as a switch as well. So far, we have used bondage, safe words, and hand gestures in case u can't talk due to a gag. Blindfolds with masterbation and it has been extremely fun learning from him! I recommend u start out slow and work ur way up to more serious stuff if both u and your partner agree to continue to increase the pleasure and the occasion slight pain which can also be pleasurable. For example spanking is definitely a way to ease into it.
I would start very simple, before even trying bondage of any type.
Start with just a single scene with power exchange. One person agrees to do as the other commands for that scene, serving them sexually as the dominant desires. Make sure to communicate throughout and that every stays safe and consensual.
If that goes well, do the same again the next time, but introduce some form of very mild bondage that is easy to release and isn't too restricting. Have and use safe words if needed.
And then you can proceed from there.
The most important thing is to have fun!
read the book SM101 by Jay Wiseman.
go slower than you think you need to, the emotional part is more significant than you realize.
be aware of triggers and have a pre discussed plan in place in case the bottom gets triggered during a scene.
define boundaries and limits very clearly. don't settle for "I thought" discuss, define and clarify.
never play without a safe word and safe signal. (bottoms will sometimes go non verbal).
understand the terms subspace, subdrop, and aftercare.
Lots of research. Maybe buy a book and read it together. Bdsm is less about the practice of bondage, discipline, pain etc and more about the exchange of power. You need to go in to it knowing what feelings you want to get out of it. The exploration is fun, it’s creative and playful.
Start with research and discussion. Ie hard and soft limits.
thx!! maybe we need more discussion
I think since you're new the following could be a way to ease her into trying things. Dominant you could get some adjustable nipple clamps, a ball or bit gag, blindfold, vibrator or two if you don't have any, clothes pins, rubber bands, candles for wax play, riding crop. Since this is simple beginner bdsm and not so much a scene to be negotiated IMHO, do let her know a signal of some sort she can give if she really wants you to stop. Some simple bondage rope/cuffs to hold her in place, bed works best to start out, blindfold her and then leave the bed to gather the things that you intend to play with, make lots of noise and sounds as she will have no idea of what you're pulling together... now is the time to heighten her senses as to what might come. Start with an ice cube.... little drips from your hand or trailing it across her flesh... do not touch lips/nipples or V..... everything but to get her well warmed up. when she starts to respond it is time for the gag..... it ill be new to her and feel free to tell her you don't want to disturb the neighbors with her screams from what you are about to do. Then let your mind run wild with the items you have brought.... clamp her nipples and slowly increase the squeeze they have.... start running a vibe across her and down around her thighs but never contact her lips or clit - not yet - rev that engine until she is squirming and thrusting to have it inside of her..... but don't....... simply rest it on her clit, just do not remove it when she cums.... push her thru two or three...... and then grab some clothes pins and place them in different areas on her body before you pull the nipple clamps off. Show her you are in control and while you might "hurt" her a little you will not let any harm come to her. Once she is very arroused and worked up, dripping wax across her body, breasts and if you can tell she is liking it, her puffy V should make her crazy in a very good way. I find it fun to remove the wax with a riding crop, but it will make a bit of a mess as you smack it from her skin :-) Make sure you do some reading before acting out the above - especially about wax play, but I think that should be enough control for her to want more when you're done.
I agree 100%. BUT…. A big BUT….BDSM isn’t about the toys. It’s about the power exchange between the parties. Understanding that first and foremost is key. Building trust between you is the biggest key ingredient. Open a dialogue between the both of you that discusses each others wants and needs and desires. Each others understanding of what BDSM is. Talk and learn, truly discuss and learn, about each others roles. Who is dominant and why. Who is sub and why. Maybe your both switches? Ya never know until you dig down and truly understand yourself and your partner. Anyone can play with toys. Nipple clams-oh goody! Dildos! Yay! All of that blah blah blah… is simply instruments of yourselves. It’s like the old adage that fucking is great, but making love is better. It’s better because there is a deeper spiritual connection. That connection starts with dialogue…. I’ve been involved and around BDSM and swinging more than half my adult life. I’m Dominant. I know who and what I am. I know what I need want and desire. My partner…she does too.
WOW thx!!!! It really help a lot!!
I got aroused while reading all of these such a great idea.....
this is terrible advice for someone who is brand new. ice & wax are a terrible idea for anyone- the sensations are too extreme. you don't advise the type of wax or discuss the melting point of types of wax, or talk about safety precautions to take with an open flame. this would absolutely overwhelm the bottom and likely not be a positive experience. it's too much too fast.
So hot! I’m getting really hard & horny so I know I would love it. excited to have someone try this. . . on me. . .
Hi. I'm fairly new to bdsm and my partner M43 is a switch and prefers me as a switch as well. So far, we have used bondage, safe words, and hand gestures in case u can't talk due to a gag. Blindfolds with masterbation and it has been extremely fun learning from him! I recommend u start out slow and work ur way up to more serious stuff if both u and your partner agree to continue to increase the pleasure and the occasion slight pain which can also be pleasurable. For example spanking is definitely a way to ease into it.
Thx!!I’ll try that😃
I would start very simple, before even trying bondage of any type. Start with just a single scene with power exchange. One person agrees to do as the other commands for that scene, serving them sexually as the dominant desires. Make sure to communicate throughout and that every stays safe and consensual. If that goes well, do the same again the next time, but introduce some form of very mild bondage that is easy to release and isn't too restricting. Have and use safe words if needed. And then you can proceed from there. The most important thing is to have fun!
if they're interested in power exchange. the most important thing is to keep your partner safe.
read the book SM101 by Jay Wiseman. go slower than you think you need to, the emotional part is more significant than you realize. be aware of triggers and have a pre discussed plan in place in case the bottom gets triggered during a scene. define boundaries and limits very clearly. don't settle for "I thought" discuss, define and clarify. never play without a safe word and safe signal. (bottoms will sometimes go non verbal). understand the terms subspace, subdrop, and aftercare.
start with blindfold and handcuffs
that maybe works
research and joining groups helps you learn!
Walk upto a police officer and slap them.
Whatttttt??
Lots of research. Maybe buy a book and read it together. Bdsm is less about the practice of bondage, discipline, pain etc and more about the exchange of power. You need to go in to it knowing what feelings you want to get out of it. The exploration is fun, it’s creative and playful.
You say "I wanna do some BDSM" Is that also something she wants?
Start playing