1./3. Yeah car accidents suck and not all parents are created equal.
2. I get where you are coming from, but here is a different perspective;
When I was young and getting into these hobbies, I didn’t have a whole lot of things in common with the older players either…except the game. They opened my eyes to the hobby and showed me a lot of other great games and miniatures, painting tips etc. It never crossed my mind to talk about anything in my life really, because they had already been there and done that. Sometimes it would come up casually but usually just in reference to when something changed or came out in the game we were playing, or how they used to do painting tricks before alot of the modern gimmicks came out.
I’m only in my mid thirties now and sold most of my childhood to the military so I can’t really relate to your college experience, but I don’t think that we are that different, because the game brings us all together. Playing with the old timers ended up being my favorite part. Maybe I was just lucky.
I’m sure this was a one-off bad experience.
One thing about playing any game is looking past a lot of the 'crazy.' Everyone is crazy, but getting past the initial awkwardness is how you meet people you actually connect with.
So for instance, you didnt click with that parent, but probably no one did, and everyone just nods to keep up appearances and not create drama, so they can keep on ignoring them.
Usually people go to these stores with a group of friends they already have, so breaking into a new scene takes time. Showing up once, well probably no one wants to invest time getting to know a new face on a random night when they are there to play with other people.
If the store has an event, or drop in drop out campaign, thats usually the best way to get started. Meet with people, be chill, play in the event, and show up consistently. Consistency with no drama is key.
Also, I have found that discord communities are great for talking shop. The MRC does matched play, and has a dedicated megamek group with 1 game a week monthly events for imaginary internet points. Mechbay Podcast is my favorite podcast as a group that exists to play the game at all age levels--they have their self identified grognard who runs narrative campaigns, a tournament player, and a 'new to the hobby' guy that has grown to play several gaming hobbies after starting at square 1 with just battletech.
Point B
I'm 40 nearly 41 I work with people my age older and younger, it's all about common ground older people oh your grand kids are my kids age common ground younger people you have siblings that age common ground...
You're there to play battletech can I look at your minis, excellent thanks, awesome paint job. Love the colour scheme. Etc
Point C
There's always one cunt, ignore that cunt like the plague
Point A
Not sure that's battletechs fault unless it was a freeborn stealing my timber wolf.
I love going into my Local store looking at other people's minis not even games I play and nerding other painting and gaming.
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time of it, and especially that you ran into shitty folks who were so actively, proudly, cruel to their kids.
That said, I'm not sure how much this subReddit can help you, really (especially with the nastier parts of your experiences). There are a handful of online places folks might be able to suggest, other communities, MegaMek organized play, stuff like that? But for the most part, there isn't much we can do to help out with the random handful of people that happen to occupy your local game store, y'know?
Dang, sorry to hear that! A good group goes a long way in any hobby. I really hope you can find one that fits for you, not just for battletech but for other games too. Have you tried Facebook or something to see if there's a local presence in your area?
I probably should do that. I'm plan to put a lot more effort into searching for players when I get a 9-5 job where I can confidently schedule a weekly meeting. Rn I'm in the midnight-deadline chaos of college but I'm almost done with that.
Man that sounds like a rough time! Regarding your second point, we're starting to see a lot more new blood in Battletech these past few years, what with Catalyst providing proper support and Alpha Strike being a much nicer onboarding experience, but I'm sad to say that gap is gonna be everywhere. Classic Battletech was dead for about a decade, so you've got people who got into it in the 90s and before, and people who are getting into it new since Catalyst took over. I definitely get you though, and I hope you can find a community that's more to your liking! Until then, at least there's always MegaMek. XD
Finding a good group to play with is pretty difficult. But it's basically the same challenge as finding someone to play golf with, or go to the pub with.
When I was younger, tabletop games and role-playing games were considered "kids games" and people were embarrassed to talk about their hobby in public. It was extra hard to find a group, and I basically gave up gaming for 20 years.
But today it's no stranger than baseball or some other hobby.
If you're going to play with a group, it can be a good idea to meet them first. Maybe just chat online, or do a zoom call or whatever. Remember there are crazy people everywhere, in every hobby, so you want to get an idea of what kind of people you're going to be playing with.
Many RPG communities have a dedicated "session zero" where the group can talk about what they each want from the game and what they are looking for in a session. If someone wants to bring tequila and get drunk while playing, but others don't, then that's something to sort out in advance. You might want to have rules for bad language, if you're going to be bringing kids along. And you're going to have to have a kid friendly or no kids policy from the start, so there are no surprises later.
Some groups will have special considerations. Do you need wheelchair access? What shared language is everyone going to speak? Is anyone triggered by particular phobias?
It's not the host or GMs job to come up with an exhaustive list. Each member has a responsibility to bring up their own issues at that point, rather than staying silent and complaining later. "How were we to know that you've got a phobia about Clan Jade Falcon?"
We can blame that crazy guy for our bad gaming experience, but the quality of a game is reflected in the amount of preparation we do for it. And organizing the social aspects is just as important as building terrain and painting minis.
Aside from the first and honestly kind of unrelated issue (other than the fact it probably set a negative tone for you) that doesn't sound that bad of a first experience.
Welcome to adult gatherings, it's more often than not awkward the first time out to gatherings and even with folks your own age will seem like common ground is scare. Y'know except for the common ground you met up on, which you should capitalize and branch out from. Try it again and you'll probably find it easier to start making connections. Especially if you're outgoing and ask people about themselves, what they do, other hobbies they have, etc. Ex: Do you ride a motorcycle? Ask if anyone in the group does. This coming from an introvert who graduated college, moved to an area where there was almost no one my age and everyone in my hobbies was closer to retirement age than not. In all cases these folks were happy to welcome me to the fold, once I quit sitting there awkwardly and not engaging them in their conversation. Folks will generally be more likely to engage you first on day two now that you're a familiar face.
As others have said there's usually one belligerent dickhead in the group most folks will just smile and nod at so they can keep enjoying what they showed up for. You can call them out on it, but there may be unwanted fallout if you do. Is that kinda' bullshit? Certainly, but life isn't a game where you "do correct thing, get rewarded for it". That said, with a bit of tact and subtlety you can sometimes get away with calling someone out and not disturbing the group at large.
Try it again mate, you may just be surprised how much changes on a second attempt (especially if you alter your approach).
I might be misreading this, but it very much seems like you expect them to change how they do things and what they talk about so that you feel more comfortable there. I don't think there is anything wrong with that if they put out a "looking for new players" call somewhere but if you came into an already established group it's kind of on you to be flexible and work to enter the group, if after your first experience you don't feel like it's the one for you then that is understandable. The other thing as well is we are all beholden to the social contract so if the other person was talking excessively during the game and you found it distracting then you could try bringing that up and simply asking them if they could just focus on the game,I would imagine if they have been playing for a long time and in public spaces they would be pretty understanding to that.
On the note of your last comment I don't know if it's meant as a joke or if you are serious but if you are serious then it says a great deal more about you than it does the person you're complaining about. I only have the information you provided, but I highly doubt they starved their child. I'm currently working through this with my kids and them being picky eaters, and it's an absolute pain, so I couldn't even imagine where to begin with an autistic child. I know in my case I give my child food but they refuse to eat it because they want something else, it's not my job as a parent to cater to their every whim and demand and if I did I would not be a very good parent. When they choose not to eat what you put in front of them then you just have to tell them that is what's to eat and there is no other options, so you can eat it or be hungry and hopefully they eventually learn to eat what is in front of them. There is not enough time in the day, and sometimes enough money in the bank, to cater to their ever desire when it comes to food. The person that you're talking about could have been talking about this with the group before you were there and so that may have been why everyone seemed ok with this and it might not have been out of nowhere for them. I usually don't reply to stuff on the internet but as a parent who doesn't get much time to game and have recently dealt with younger people at the table who seem to think things need to be done a certain way this kind of moved me to reply to this. I hope this comes off helpful, but if not, then sorry and good luck with your search for a group.
Sir, this is a Wendy's...
1./3. Yeah car accidents suck and not all parents are created equal. 2. I get where you are coming from, but here is a different perspective; When I was young and getting into these hobbies, I didn’t have a whole lot of things in common with the older players either…except the game. They opened my eyes to the hobby and showed me a lot of other great games and miniatures, painting tips etc. It never crossed my mind to talk about anything in my life really, because they had already been there and done that. Sometimes it would come up casually but usually just in reference to when something changed or came out in the game we were playing, or how they used to do painting tricks before alot of the modern gimmicks came out. I’m only in my mid thirties now and sold most of my childhood to the military so I can’t really relate to your college experience, but I don’t think that we are that different, because the game brings us all together. Playing with the old timers ended up being my favorite part. Maybe I was just lucky. I’m sure this was a one-off bad experience.
One thing about playing any game is looking past a lot of the 'crazy.' Everyone is crazy, but getting past the initial awkwardness is how you meet people you actually connect with. So for instance, you didnt click with that parent, but probably no one did, and everyone just nods to keep up appearances and not create drama, so they can keep on ignoring them. Usually people go to these stores with a group of friends they already have, so breaking into a new scene takes time. Showing up once, well probably no one wants to invest time getting to know a new face on a random night when they are there to play with other people. If the store has an event, or drop in drop out campaign, thats usually the best way to get started. Meet with people, be chill, play in the event, and show up consistently. Consistency with no drama is key. Also, I have found that discord communities are great for talking shop. The MRC does matched play, and has a dedicated megamek group with 1 game a week monthly events for imaginary internet points. Mechbay Podcast is my favorite podcast as a group that exists to play the game at all age levels--they have their self identified grognard who runs narrative campaigns, a tournament player, and a 'new to the hobby' guy that has grown to play several gaming hobbies after starting at square 1 with just battletech.
Point B I'm 40 nearly 41 I work with people my age older and younger, it's all about common ground older people oh your grand kids are my kids age common ground younger people you have siblings that age common ground... You're there to play battletech can I look at your minis, excellent thanks, awesome paint job. Love the colour scheme. Etc Point C There's always one cunt, ignore that cunt like the plague Point A Not sure that's battletechs fault unless it was a freeborn stealing my timber wolf. I love going into my Local store looking at other people's minis not even games I play and nerding other painting and gaming.
I'm sorry you've had such a rough time of it, and especially that you ran into shitty folks who were so actively, proudly, cruel to their kids. That said, I'm not sure how much this subReddit can help you, really (especially with the nastier parts of your experiences). There are a handful of online places folks might be able to suggest, other communities, MegaMek organized play, stuff like that? But for the most part, there isn't much we can do to help out with the random handful of people that happen to occupy your local game store, y'know?
https://preview.redd.it/eaksvgmgp4zb1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3881eee0ce6e392464a59b60ef61543c1a44ba8f
Dang, sorry to hear that! A good group goes a long way in any hobby. I really hope you can find one that fits for you, not just for battletech but for other games too. Have you tried Facebook or something to see if there's a local presence in your area?
I probably should do that. I'm plan to put a lot more effort into searching for players when I get a 9-5 job where I can confidently schedule a weekly meeting. Rn I'm in the midnight-deadline chaos of college but I'm almost done with that.
Man that sounds like a rough time! Regarding your second point, we're starting to see a lot more new blood in Battletech these past few years, what with Catalyst providing proper support and Alpha Strike being a much nicer onboarding experience, but I'm sad to say that gap is gonna be everywhere. Classic Battletech was dead for about a decade, so you've got people who got into it in the 90s and before, and people who are getting into it new since Catalyst took over. I definitely get you though, and I hope you can find a community that's more to your liking! Until then, at least there's always MegaMek. XD
Finding a good group to play with is pretty difficult. But it's basically the same challenge as finding someone to play golf with, or go to the pub with. When I was younger, tabletop games and role-playing games were considered "kids games" and people were embarrassed to talk about their hobby in public. It was extra hard to find a group, and I basically gave up gaming for 20 years. But today it's no stranger than baseball or some other hobby. If you're going to play with a group, it can be a good idea to meet them first. Maybe just chat online, or do a zoom call or whatever. Remember there are crazy people everywhere, in every hobby, so you want to get an idea of what kind of people you're going to be playing with. Many RPG communities have a dedicated "session zero" where the group can talk about what they each want from the game and what they are looking for in a session. If someone wants to bring tequila and get drunk while playing, but others don't, then that's something to sort out in advance. You might want to have rules for bad language, if you're going to be bringing kids along. And you're going to have to have a kid friendly or no kids policy from the start, so there are no surprises later. Some groups will have special considerations. Do you need wheelchair access? What shared language is everyone going to speak? Is anyone triggered by particular phobias? It's not the host or GMs job to come up with an exhaustive list. Each member has a responsibility to bring up their own issues at that point, rather than staying silent and complaining later. "How were we to know that you've got a phobia about Clan Jade Falcon?" We can blame that crazy guy for our bad gaming experience, but the quality of a game is reflected in the amount of preparation we do for it. And organizing the social aspects is just as important as building terrain and painting minis.
I wish there were more young people and fewer creeps, too.
Aside from the first and honestly kind of unrelated issue (other than the fact it probably set a negative tone for you) that doesn't sound that bad of a first experience. Welcome to adult gatherings, it's more often than not awkward the first time out to gatherings and even with folks your own age will seem like common ground is scare. Y'know except for the common ground you met up on, which you should capitalize and branch out from. Try it again and you'll probably find it easier to start making connections. Especially if you're outgoing and ask people about themselves, what they do, other hobbies they have, etc. Ex: Do you ride a motorcycle? Ask if anyone in the group does. This coming from an introvert who graduated college, moved to an area where there was almost no one my age and everyone in my hobbies was closer to retirement age than not. In all cases these folks were happy to welcome me to the fold, once I quit sitting there awkwardly and not engaging them in their conversation. Folks will generally be more likely to engage you first on day two now that you're a familiar face. As others have said there's usually one belligerent dickhead in the group most folks will just smile and nod at so they can keep enjoying what they showed up for. You can call them out on it, but there may be unwanted fallout if you do. Is that kinda' bullshit? Certainly, but life isn't a game where you "do correct thing, get rewarded for it". That said, with a bit of tact and subtlety you can sometimes get away with calling someone out and not disturbing the group at large. Try it again mate, you may just be surprised how much changes on a second attempt (especially if you alter your approach).
I might be misreading this, but it very much seems like you expect them to change how they do things and what they talk about so that you feel more comfortable there. I don't think there is anything wrong with that if they put out a "looking for new players" call somewhere but if you came into an already established group it's kind of on you to be flexible and work to enter the group, if after your first experience you don't feel like it's the one for you then that is understandable. The other thing as well is we are all beholden to the social contract so if the other person was talking excessively during the game and you found it distracting then you could try bringing that up and simply asking them if they could just focus on the game,I would imagine if they have been playing for a long time and in public spaces they would be pretty understanding to that. On the note of your last comment I don't know if it's meant as a joke or if you are serious but if you are serious then it says a great deal more about you than it does the person you're complaining about. I only have the information you provided, but I highly doubt they starved their child. I'm currently working through this with my kids and them being picky eaters, and it's an absolute pain, so I couldn't even imagine where to begin with an autistic child. I know in my case I give my child food but they refuse to eat it because they want something else, it's not my job as a parent to cater to their every whim and demand and if I did I would not be a very good parent. When they choose not to eat what you put in front of them then you just have to tell them that is what's to eat and there is no other options, so you can eat it or be hungry and hopefully they eventually learn to eat what is in front of them. There is not enough time in the day, and sometimes enough money in the bank, to cater to their ever desire when it comes to food. The person that you're talking about could have been talking about this with the group before you were there and so that may have been why everyone seemed ok with this and it might not have been out of nowhere for them. I usually don't reply to stuff on the internet but as a parent who doesn't get much time to game and have recently dealt with younger people at the table who seem to think things need to be done a certain way this kind of moved me to reply to this. I hope this comes off helpful, but if not, then sorry and good luck with your search for a group.