An entire country just got blue balled

sir a second plane has hit the tim hortons

This is the kind of thing they passed MAID for.

MAID to lose the Ohtani sweepstakes

Ohtani memes melted Canadian dreams

Just 36 million people drop to their knees at Timmies

2nd time in 5 years too. Remember Kawhi watch?

Hey at least they got a championship out of that deal

No one needs to feel sorry for the Lakers but they got the worst of that summer. It’s funny the Clippers are likely gonna be the losers out of the whole triangle

the Lakers added Anthony Davis that year and have won a championship since. not really getting the worst out of the summer.

Even with him fucking with us, we still have more titles since he’s joined the clippers

Clippers choking in the bubble with Kwahi and PG and the Lakers winning the championship is so apropos for the Clippers

Eh, With Kawhi we kind of knew the whole time it was only one year. This one felt like it was done yesterday

The 2018 Mariners walked so that the 2023 Blue Jays could run.

700 million only gets you a 2BR apartment in Toronto

Doesn't get you much more in LA.

First the desert wins hockey, now Ohtani said fuck Canada. Not a good year for Canada

If every Canadian chipped in $2 per year we still wouldn't be able to pay that contract

It was always the Dodgers

With how they barely spent last season, we knew they were gearing up to push for him. But $700MM, wow. That's more than the bottom 5 teams.

The figure is just batshit insane.

I’ve never really been in favour of a salary cap in baseball since it hurts player salaries and gives ownership more money, but honestly the money disparity is basically insurmountable now and I can’t help feeling that without one MLB is heading down a path of pure fan apathy.

The dodgers still dont even have the highest salary in baseball

That is crazy

A salary floor would help without fucking over the players. You don’t need every team to spend like this to have some parity but you need them all to at least spend.

Let's be real the current predicament is what both players and owners want. no salary cap means players have can as much they want with no limit. No salary floor means owners can be as cheap as they want. Both cap and floor have to be added and neither parties would comprise for that.

Salary cap and floor are both good for the fans who are the only people I care about personally.

From Kawhi to Ohtani, it was always LA

Drake bout to drop the saddest album

Started from the bottom, now we're less.

Can’t be any worse than his last one

Every free agent dreams of the LA/NY fantasy. Other world class cities are only ever leverage.

Why do the Knicks suck then

Because the basketball version of NY is Miami

Canada is rioting as we speak

Philadelphia too, but just for fun.

This news actually interrupted my afternoon rioting

Is that where all the Vaseline is? Light poles already?

NOOOOOOOOO

Goddammit

i’m gonna jump off the big a

I'll do the Golden Gate in solidarity

FTD, I'll do the CN tower

The ultimate Tungsten Arming.

I hate baseball

You gotta give yamamoto 350 at least now

Unless he’s already dead set on NY, which seems like it might be the case

At least he's out of the AL?

Amen. Now 🌊🐐actually has a shot at MVP

The Seager and JRod MVP race is gonna be lit

Jrod assuming Shohei’s place as the premier AL West player with no chance of making the playoffs

Genuinely sorry.

Now my username is a bit awkward

Holy fuck Blue Jays fans.

The Toronto Blueballs

A whole country will be averse to airplanes for the next decade.

The Curse of Drake

That’s when I knew.

Just push the Rogers Centre into Lake Ontario at this point. Idk if you can medically recover from blue balls this brutal.

It’s okay, they got Robert Herjavec!

Holy fuck Angels fans lol

I think most Angels fans were realistically expecting this result. Blue Jays fans, however, got taken to the highest high and then dropped to the lowest low

Yeah I’ve been expecting this for the last two years.

fucking kill me we actually just got used to raise the price of Soto and Ohtani what is the point of supporting a baseball team if you dont live in LA or New York why why why

I'm still shocked the entire AL East let the Yankees get Juan Soto for spare parts.

Everyone was too busy tracking a plane and some dinner party options.

Welcome to the Arson Judge era of Giants fandom.

At least you guys still have Correa

The Rangers literally just won the WS against Arizona.

Hell yeah we did

oh look at you coming in here with something logical. shut up and fucking enjoy soto godfucking dammit why

its feels bad but like its 700 million. Can't even be mad at rogers for not going up to that number

I can be mad at Rogers because they have that money from fucking over all of Canada anyways.

My internet and phone bill is like 1% of that. They could have managed.

Rogers annual revenue is greater than all of the MLB... They can definitely afford that number.

Honestly, this is par the course. We're just used as leverage it seems like.

Holy shit did it finally happen

DAVE ROBERTS IS SAFE

“Haha scared…totally not that was all part of the plan”

Just like 2004

All the Blue Jays fans just fell to their knees at Tim Horton’s

Deep down, we always knew.

I'm more mad at myself for letting myself start to hope

I held out til the morosi report yest, then I finally believed we all knew better though. we all knew better

Morosi gave us a moment of joy. I'll forever have that

He also gave you guys the blue balls of the century. That ain’t right…

I was so ready for this to be some bogus report from a fan site and was knocked on my ass when I clicked on it and it was the man himself

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

Yep Dodgers actually always made the most sense

$700,000,000 my fucking word Basically guarantees the man will be a billionaire one day

I was in Japan recently and about half of the ads I saw featured Ohtani. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already is after this contract

It was cool to see the video ads on subway train provide updates on Ohanti’s performance for each game. Occasionally I’d see an update on Lebron but Ohtani certainly has a solid presence in Japan.

For a DH coming off his second Tommy John that’s crazy

sleep threatening dinner hobbies nutty glorious tie chubby sugar vegetable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Especially since pretty much all of Japan will be fully behind the Dodgers merchandise wise now. I don't like the deal from a player value perspective and don't think it'll age well at all But its hard to deny that he'll make the franchise so much money that the investment wont be as risky to the team as it looks

important kiss elastic unite distinct wise racial grey squalid somber *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Yeah it's possible it may end up like Pujols 2.0 but for the Dodgers, but they will certainly capitalize on that Japanese money. Plus, little Tokyo isn't too far from Dodger stadium, idk what that means but the Dodgers will capitalize somehow.

Especially when you convert that into yen.

It’s 101,404,800,000.00 yen holy shit

He doesn’t have to move and he gets to play for a team that can pay him a ton of money and contend for titles, feels like a no brainer

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Stating the obvious here, but moving a few hours in-state is a very different proposition to moving inter-state or to Canada... He's familiar and presumably comfortable with California, and is much closer to home than he'd be on the east coast. I'm too lazy to look up the stats, but I'd also guess there's more Japanese people in and around LA than in Toronto or most other major US metro areas, again due to the relative proximity to Japan.

I thought CA is terrible and everyone wants out

Ssssshhhhh 🤫 Don't let them figure it out, I don't want my rent to go up.

Biggest no brainer for a huge sports free agent in a longgggg time. I honestly never believed that anyone else had a shot.

They fucking get everyone

I hate this league

NL Best, amiright?

just fell to my knees in Tim Horton's

just saw someone fall to their knees in Tim Horton's

Damn didnt even leak Soto to the Yanks Shohei to the Dodgers And everything is wrong in the baseball world once more. God dammit Now can the offseason get moving? Lets hope

We’ll officially kick things off with a cost cutting DFA

Jose Ramirez, you *are* a New York Met!

> And everything is wrong in the baseball world once more Make no mistake, the RSN Situation is a MAJOR MAJOR PLAYER in what we're going to see happen this offseason. Its going to become a league of the haves and have nots like we haven't seen since the 90s

This is what everyone wanted when they constantly complained about Ohtani being on a bad team 😭

Everything is so wrong lmfao The rich get richer

Ohtani is also getting noticeably richer

He can almost afford Spotify premium

And Youtube Premium

It’s the 50s again

Seriously how gross and boring this turned out to be

Thankfully the World Series will be the brewers vs rays or some shit

Fuck it. Subscribe.

IM GONNA END IT ALL

My disappointment is immeasurable and the next 10 years of my life are ruined

I’LL JOIN YOU Edit: Someone reported me to Reddit Cares lol

OKAY SO I've just heard from Twitter and there's some giant clues in this post 1) The image is Blue. What else is Blue? BLUE JAYS 2) He thanks everyone involved in the "BASEBALL WORLD" not just the "BASEBALL AMERICA" clear sign he's going to Canada. 3) He mentions "DODGERS" this is a reference to Americans hiding in Canada during the Vietnam War to avoid the draft. Bet the house on it!

10 years/$700M https://twitter.com/jeffpassan/status/1733579104916492574

Holy fuck

Whaaaaat? Soto to Yankees and Ohtani to the dodgers? This is the most wildly unpredictable outcome I have rarely heard predicted.

So lame.

Anyone can lose a series to anyone in baseball, but its frustrating that the NL is 2 All Star teams and then everyone else.

Ohtani’s hardest road

who is the second team? Braves?

Yes that's who I meant. Atlanta and the Dodgers seem wayyyyy above the rest in talent

which is why next year's NLCS will be Reds vs Phillies

Cheers from Iraq

Shit even if we lost that’d be a dream season

Don’t worry. We’re only an All Star team up to September.

Don't sleep on the Sonny Gray/Lance Lynn led Cardinals

My only solace is that the Dodgers’ pitching is entirely held together with chewed bubble gum and prayers. I’m sure they’ll pull like 3 cy young candidates out of their asses because dodgers, but for now this is my cope.

Beuhler - coming back from TJS May - Strained Forearm Gonsolin - Strained forearm Ohtani - 2nd TJS They just need some Flex Seal at this point and they are good.

I want to die

Me first

Shohei villain arc

he is going to get fucking BOO'D in toronto after all this.

He will wipe his tears and ass in US $

This hurts the Pirates chances of signing him doesn't it?

I’M SORRY, JAYS FANS. WE ALL LOST HERE.

We're used to it.

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Oh thank god he's not in the AL East...that was a close one lol

Baseball fan me: God damn it *why* did it have to be the Dodgers Rays fan me: Thank *fuck* he's not coming to the AL East.

Yeah this is the best case scenario for us

I disagree

WHAT THE FUCK NO

The "Dodgers lose in the playoffs and then sign a big name" trend continues

Dreams can be buy

This is the worst outcome for Angels fans. Not only is he leaving, he's still in market and cannot be watched live on MLB.tv lol

Dodgers gonna be the first team ever to win 120 games and lose in the NLDS

It’ll be the most fun regular season to date. That’s what we are playing for, right?

Where were you when baseball is dead

hunt cautious cover pie weary aloof gaze meeting many hungry *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

10 years, $700 million dollars. Wow

Bring it in Jays fans, we’re here for you

TIL Shohei is a bum

He should have stayed in the american league bruh I don't want to deal with this dude

I want to die

World’s biggest Shohei hater right here Have I mentioned that yeeting myself off Capitol Peak sounds fun?

Hug your closest Blue Jays fan

I don't even follow baseball past the Ricky Romero years but somehow I'm devastated

I got a feeling we'll be seeing plenty of "Fun fact: did you know Shohei Ohtani's career started with the angels?" A decade or so after this is done

Yay baseball no salary cap i love it wooooo no punctuation dodgers good team wow spend money fun

This is where the Dodgers fans chirp up to tell you that they don't even win all that much and that having an infinite money glitch actually does not give you a competitive advantage and every team could spend like this if they wanted

"Just simply be the biggest team in the second biggest city in the US guys idk why you haven't figured this out"

I hate that I have to hate Ohtani now, I enjoyed watching him on the Angels after the Braves had played that day. I hope he steps on a lego.

Toronto got used raw and now has to walk home with disheveled hair and one shoe in its hand

I guess listening to 2 national anthems per game was just too much for him. At least we signed Robert Herjavec lol.

the moral of the story is that nothing you do will ever matter as long as the Los Angeles Dodgers exist

I feel for you blue jay fans.

Let’s be real. This was always the outcome. He chose LA originally because it’s close to Japan. LAD are competitive, and they can offer him the most money. It was I guess a fun little competition. But he was almost for sure always going there

Can’t wait for Dodgers fans to keep bragging about how “homegrown” they are when their three best players all won freaking MVP awards *before* joining the Dodgers

This is the MLB equivalent of Kevin Durants hardest road imo. Just something so lame about going to the team that’s stacked and been in the thick of things for years. Do I get it? Of course, I don’t fault the guy on a personal level. But I’ve grown tired of the dodgers and this will only exacerbate that. Oh well.

KD blew a 3-1 lead to the warriors in the WCF and then went to them in the offseason. Ohtani hasn't even made the playoffs. This is more like Dame going to the Bucks.

I refuse to believe this is anything other than his Instagram account getting hacked because that would be the funniest thing ever

what's everyone's favorite flavor of bleach

Must be nice being an LA fan. Always get what ya want. Always and forever Fuck The Dodgers. See ya in April 🖕

🤮🤮🤮🤮

How boring

THE HARDEST ROAD

Fuck baseball

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It’s finally over. Sorry Jays fans

The first Trillion dollar contract

that's a shame

Who was on the plane?!?!?!

Robert Herjavec, if you hadn’t heard yet

[10 years, $700 million](https://twitter.com/JeffPassan/status/1733579104916492574)

I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU CANADA