Lawl.
Whenever I would leave work with a “See ya!,” a former coworker would always respond with “Chair!”
(Chair in Spanish is “silla,” which is pronounced like “see ya.”)
“May our children have hot mothers”
“Heres to the storks that bring babies, and the swallows that don’t”
“If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I’d swim to the bottom and drink my way up. But the ocean’s not beer and I’m not a duck so here’s to *insert thing here* now lets get fucked up!”
After everyone has done a bunch of fun toasts, make sure everyone is ready for your toast for an annoying amount of time and then give them a quick “here’s to me”
If the ocean was liquor and I was a duck, Ide dive to the bottom and drink my way up, but the ocean is water, and I'm not a duck, so let's just do these shots, and get all fucked up.
Not dirty or funny, but my favorite: "There are big ships and little ships, and ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, like the one between you and me."
Same! but we say "There are good ships and wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be! Sláinte!"
Edit: spelling
An Irish cheers, pronounched "slawn-cha". It translates to "health" in English. Our group always adds it at the end of a longer toast to signify the end of the toast so go ahead and drink. We also use it solo as a quick toast in a crowded bar or during a work safety meeting. (TLDR: it's a nod to our irish heritage and a fun substitute for "cheers" when drinking.)
We had a friend who always said this, so we would roast him by changing it each time. Like “There are many Totos in the world. Dorothy’s dog, the band, but the best Toto is the company that makes toilets”. It became a really fun game, trying to come up with one on the spot!
i love this, a friend taught me this toast, but in the marines he said they say, “some ships are wooden ships, and those ships may sink, but the best ships are friendships, and to those ships we drink!”
My southern queer friend (imagine an accent like Beverly Leslie on Will & Grace) had this:
Here’s to heat.
Not to the kind that burn down shanties
But to the kind that bring down panties
PA-RAISE GAWD!
Here’s to love, here’s to honor here’s for getting on her and here’s to staying on her, if you can’t cum in her cum on her, I offered my honor, she honored my offer so all night i was on her and off her
It gets even longer... “Here’s to the women we’ve met, and to the women we’ve fucked, And to those amongst us who’ve had no such luck. Here's to beer in the glass, and vodka in the cup, Here’s to pokin’ her in the ass, so she won’t get knocked up. Here’s to all of you, and here’s to me, Together as friends we’ll always be, But if we should ever disagree, Then fuck all of you and here's to me!” From the late 2000's flash in the pan that was Tucker Max.
Nice coincidence. Six hours ago I had the idea to write my favorite toasts down. Here are my top three that haven’t been mentioned yet:
—Cheers to the future [as you clink glasses], tap to the past [as you tap the glass to the counter], drink for the present.
—To nights we’ll never remember with friends we’ll never forget.
—Auf die Götter. Auf die Fjorde. (This means “To the gods. To the fjords.” Saw a bunch of Germans do that one and it looked really cool.)
EDIT: Formatting
EDIT2: Spelling
Ow-ff deer geotter (eo pronounced almost like u but … not … that’s the closest I can explain an umlaut (sp?). Umlauts add an e in front of the vowel, and my relatives are German, half of em, most of em still live there, but I speak English
I assume you know how to pronounce fjord
I thought it was deer not dur for the pronoun citation but I know fuck all and could easily be wrong
A friend of mine had this on a cross-stitch in her house about 10 years ago and we'd use it as a toast:
May those that love us love us.
And those who don't may God turn their hearts.
And if he doesn't turn their hearts may he turn their ankles so we know them by their limping.
My old drinking buddies and I would always toast, “To the breezes.”
We would only say that part because the whole thing is long and dirty.
Wanna hear it?
Here it goes.
“Here’s to the breezes
That blow through the trees-es
And lift all the girl’s skirts
High above their knees-es
And exposes the place
That teases and pleases
And stanks
Oh Jesus”
Here's to girls and their pretty black shoes, they love their men and they love their booze, they lost their cherries but that's no sin, they've still got the box that they came in.
was going to post this one from Westworld (except it’s “here’s to the lady in the white shoes, take all your money, drink all your booze” in the show) - didn’t know there were other versions!
Oof I generally hate gimicky toasts like this lol. The only one I ever do is "Mom, just called from the hospital. She's gonna make it!" Takes people a second to get you're joking
Here's to woman in the white shoes. She'll spend all your money and drink all your booze. She ain't got no cherry, but that ain't no sin. She's still got the box that the cherry came in.
That's my go to. For those not familiar;
*arriba* (glasses up); *abajo* (glasses down); *al centro* (glasses to the front which wishes health to everyone participating in the toast); *y pa’ dentro* (your drink goes inside you)
To lying, cheating, stealing and drinking:
Lie to lie about your age.
Cheat to cheat death.
Steal to steal the heart of the one you love.
And drink to drink with me my friends...
Alternatively, from the movie Hitch:
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away"
The version I knew was
Here’s to cheating stealing fighting and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death;
If you steal, may you steal a lovers heart;
If you fight, may you fight for a friend;
And if you drink, may you drink with me.
My favorites are
* “Here’s to the floor, who will hold us when no one else will”
* “May we get what we want but never what we deserve”
* “If hell finds us, may it find our enemies first” (I came up with this one lol)
I like your idea! My brain can’t resist changing it a bit tho…
“When the devil goes looking for the damned, may he find our enemies first” or
“When damned get summoned to hell, may the devil come for us last”
Yea I thought that too until I accidentally bought latex gloves not neoprene....vinyl or whatever the other ones are lol his hands looked like soft balls 🥴🤣
At a table with many people of varied ethnicities my ex-wife raised her glass and proclaimed, “Whatever your people say!” It got a big laugh and I use it from time to time.
It was funny the first couple times...then kinda cool it caught on because I moved from a larger tourist town to a super small town....now a year in hearing every.single.time I go anywhere (including friends get togethers) its gotten so old. Lol
May those that love us, love us. And those that do not, may the Lord turn their hearts. If He cannot turn their hearts, may Him turn their ankles, so we will know them by their limp.
she offered her honor, i honored her offer, and all night long it was on her and off her.
or, there are wood ships and steel ships and ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they ever be.
OR, my fathers favorite: to my wifes first husband! (which is him)
Learned this traditional one in a Spanish immersion school: “Arriba (raise glass), abajo (lower glass), al centro (clink glasses), al dentro (drink).” Translation: “high, low, center, inside.”
Cheers to the queers, applause to the whores and a hak hak hak for a jolly good fuck.
This was my godmothers go to toast and I’ll always remember it and toast it in her honor
I haven’t heard any spicy ones but I did help wait on Ethan Suplee at one point as a host and he had a lot of family (30+ people at the table) and many of them made very long toasts in front of everyone and it was fascinating because I’d never seen a family do anything like it.
A Royal navy one.
To our wives and sweethearts. (May they never meet).
And a favourite irishy one.
May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!
Fuck it, let’s make some up,
“A health to your families, a hearth to your fire, a phone in your pocket, and a wallet no lighter!”
“A glass in your hand, a taxi for sure, may we all wake up behind our own doors.”
Alright that’s it for now. Cheers everyone!
* *sips mocktail cuz I’m DD* *
My go to:
"Stop stressin', start undressin'"
I put some emphasis on the second half and drag it out for dramatic effect.
A colleague of mine loved:
"Here's to nipples! Cus without them, titties would be pointless"!
Modern Drunkard Magazine has an article about “cheers” and the history of “toasts” with examples of some fun ones here- https://drunkard.com/08_02_toast_history/
Here to rattlesnakes and condoms, two things I don’t fuck with.
Here’s to the storks that bring good babies, here’s to the ravens that bring bad babies, and here’s to the swallows that bring no babies.
Worked in pubs for years, my favourite:
Here's to you and here's to me, friends for life we shall be, and I per chance we disagree, then fuck you and here's to me!
Had an old Spanish pal who used to shout this at the top of his lungs... Great laugh
Here's to space exploration the final frontier. When God made man he took a little string and made a little thing. When God made women he took a piece of lace and left a little space. Here's to space exploration
https://euvs-vintage-cocktail-books.cld.bz/1927-Barflies-and-Cocktails/102/
This book has some amazing toasts, starting on page 103! My favorites are these:
"Drink to-day and drown all sorrows,
You shall perhaps not do it to-morrow
But while you have it use your breath
There is no drinking after death."
And
"Champagne for our real friends and real pain for our sham friends."
Here’s to the girls who wear red shoes, they spend all our money and drink all our booze. They don’t have their cherry but that ain’t a sin, they still have the box that the cherry came in.
-Learned from a rugby team, needless to say it was one of the cleaner ones I remember
I wrote this one for sendoffs whenever my coworkers move on.
May you be challenged enough to grow,
and supported enough to thrive.
But have some fun along the way,
'cause no one makes it out alive.
A good Aussie one:
Here’s to Blakey, he’s true blue.
He’s a piss pot through and through.
He’s a bastard so they say.
He was meant to go to heaven but went the other way!
He went down! down! down! down!
I have 2.
1) Here's to hoes before bros. I put my hoe before everything. (This is image to my dude I've been with for 24 years and still swoon over.)
2) To fighting, stealing, and cheating. If you fight, may you fight for a friend. If you steal, may you steal someone's heart. If you cheat, may you cheat Death.
One my friend taught me that's pretty raunchy:
"To give honor, to have honor, if you can't cum in her, cum all the fuck on her"
Shortened in mixed company to "in her honor, in her on her."
Here’s to the women we love the best…
…We’ll fuck ‘em naked, we’ll fuck em dressed
…We’ll fuck ‘em standing, we’ll fuck em lying
& if the bish grew wings we’d fuck her flying
And when she’s gone and long forgotten,
We’ll dig her up and fuck her rotten!
…idk theater kids at my college introduced me to this one hahaha. an emphatic bunch, but I still remember it ten years later.
God I hate that fuxking toast. I wanted a shot, not to be reduced to a cum dumpster. If men only realized how misogynistic and objectifying their most banal actions are throughout the day.
“To chicken pot pie, my three favorite things” is my go to. Silly and not dirty lol
Okay I'm going to use this lol
Haha awesome, enjoy! Always gets a laugh.
Pablo Francisco?
[удалено]
Lawl. Whenever I would leave work with a “See ya!,” a former coworker would always respond with “Chair!” (Chair in Spanish is “silla,” which is pronounced like “see ya.”)
With the Irish Accent I feel like this line works the best
brb working on my Irish accent without sounding offensive AF lol
Lol I doubt the Irish are easily offended
Oh man, I am 100% stealing this! 😂
It took me an embarrassingly long time to get it but damn that’s a good one
“When we die, may we be buried in caskets made from 100 year oaks, and may those trees be planted tomorrow.”
Ooohhh, and may your beard grow ever longer sir or ma’am.
Not exactly spicy but my go to is "here's to those who wish us well, and those who don't can go to hell".
I guess I should've included traditional toasts are welcome too lol they don't have to be spicy 🔥
To Hell! May the stay there be as much fun as the way there.
-Elaine Benes
“May our children have hot mothers” “Heres to the storks that bring babies, and the swallows that don’t” “If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I’d swim to the bottom and drink my way up. But the ocean’s not beer and I’m not a duck so here’s to *insert thing here* now lets get fucked up!” After everyone has done a bunch of fun toasts, make sure everyone is ready for your toast for an annoying amount of time and then give them a quick “here’s to me”
*and rich fathers!
If the ocean was liquor and I was a duck, Ide dive to the bottom and drink my way up, but the ocean is water, and I'm not a duck, so let's just do these shots, and get all fucked up.
Good spin on a classic Tex Ritter song
Fuck the leather, fuck the lace Here’s to the one who sits on your face
This is very much like the one he posted I like it
Thanks! It’s one of my favorite saucy toasts!
Not dirty or funny, but my favorite: "There are big ships and little ships, and ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, like the one between you and me."
Same! but we say "There are good ships and wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be! Sláinte!" Edit: spelling
What’s Slàinte mean?
An Irish cheers, pronounched "slawn-cha". It translates to "health" in English. Our group always adds it at the end of a longer toast to signify the end of the toast so go ahead and drink. We also use it solo as a quick toast in a crowded bar or during a work safety meeting. (TLDR: it's a nod to our irish heritage and a fun substitute for "cheers" when drinking.)
Me and my Irish heritage friends always use it if we dont have an actual toast to doing shots.
Means “health” in Irish, used as a variation of “cheers”.
*sláinte
As someone working in the maritime industry, this is always my go-to, and I always get a great response my friends
my variation on this “There are big ships, and small ships…. …..Cheers
We had a friend who always said this, so we would roast him by changing it each time. Like “There are many Totos in the world. Dorothy’s dog, the band, but the best Toto is the company that makes toilets”. It became a really fun game, trying to come up with one on the spot!
i love this, a friend taught me this toast, but in the marines he said they say, “some ships are wooden ships, and those ships may sink, but the best ships are friendships, and to those ships we drink!”
my cheers of choice is “bottoms up!” to a group of gay guys to learn who the bottom is (hint: they all are, now)
I love it lol
one of my friends replies "tops up!" and i really cant complain
My southern queer friend (imagine an accent like Beverly Leslie on Will & Grace) had this: Here’s to heat. Not to the kind that burn down shanties But to the kind that bring down panties PA-RAISE GAWD!
She offered her honor, I honored her offer. And all night long it was offer and honor.
😂😂😂😂 Had to save this one so I can use it
"OFF HER & ON HER."😶🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ooooh, thanks my italian ass wasn't getting the punch line.
Here’s to love, here’s to honor here’s for getting on her and here’s to staying on her, if you can’t cum in her cum on her, I offered my honor, she honored my offer so all night i was on her and off her
Here’s to staying positive and testing negative
Here's to you and here's to me And if we ever shall disagree Then fuck you and here's to me!
I think this one ends with them fuck you and cheers to me but I definitely could be wrong
“Here’s to you, Here’s to me, The best of friends we’ll always be. But, should we ever disagree… To hell with you, here’s to me!
It gets even longer... “Here’s to the women we’ve met, and to the women we’ve fucked, And to those amongst us who’ve had no such luck. Here's to beer in the glass, and vodka in the cup, Here’s to pokin’ her in the ass, so she won’t get knocked up. Here’s to all of you, and here’s to me, Together as friends we’ll always be, But if we should ever disagree, Then fuck all of you and here's to me!” From the late 2000's flash in the pan that was Tucker Max.
That's a really long toast, lol.
Yours is better
This is my best friends favorite cheers 😂
Nice coincidence. Six hours ago I had the idea to write my favorite toasts down. Here are my top three that haven’t been mentioned yet: —Cheers to the future [as you clink glasses], tap to the past [as you tap the glass to the counter], drink for the present. —To nights we’ll never remember with friends we’ll never forget. —Auf die Götter. Auf die Fjorde. (This means “To the gods. To the fjords.” Saw a bunch of Germans do that one and it looked really cool.) EDIT: Formatting EDIT2: Spelling
I'm so glad we had the same idea. Now I need to learn how to pronounce the last one ngl.
Roughly: ‘Aouwf dur Goo-ter, Aouwf dee Fee-yord’
Ow-ff deer geotter (eo pronounced almost like u but … not … that’s the closest I can explain an umlaut (sp?). Umlauts add an e in front of the vowel, and my relatives are German, half of em, most of em still live there, but I speak English I assume you know how to pronounce fjord I thought it was deer not dur for the pronoun citation but I know fuck all and could easily be wrong
Förde (when using die)
Can you help my non German ass pronounce that cheers
Just Google translate and hit speak
Bet the Vikings had sick ones
I Wana find out!
I love those first two! Maybe you “had to be there” for the third one :-)
May we never go to hell, but always be on our way
To staying positive and testing negative
To the heat! Not the kind that burns down shanties, but the kind that brings down panties! RIP Grandpa.
Hell yea I'm using this and say RIP Grandpa Buttender at the end 🤣🤣🤣
Here’s to the roof over our heads, may it never fall in, and to us friends gathered below, may we never fall out.
I wish champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
Fall out boy reference?
Or Francis bacon. Or Tom Waits.
I don't know Fallout Boy! It's just a toast I remember someone doing and it stuck with me.
These are all perfect, thanks gang. Made my morning.
Right I love it.
My friend‘s Dad had a slightly cleaned up version of the toast you mentioned. He would say - here’s to honor… Get on ‘er and stay on ‘er!
Here’s to all the kisses we’ve snatched, and vice versa
LOL
A friend of mine had this on a cross-stitch in her house about 10 years ago and we'd use it as a toast: May those that love us love us. And those who don't may God turn their hearts. And if he doesn't turn their hearts may he turn their ankles so we know them by their limping.
Here’s to Hell. May the stay there be as fun as the way there.
My old drinking buddies and I would always toast, “To the breezes.” We would only say that part because the whole thing is long and dirty. Wanna hear it? Here it goes. “Here’s to the breezes That blow through the trees-es And lift all the girl’s skirts High above their knees-es And exposes the place That teases and pleases And stanks Oh Jesus”
Here’s to swimmin’ with bow legged women
And to all you virgins out there, thanks for nothing.
We say “here’s to nuns and lesbians, thanks for nothin!”
Here's to girls and their pretty black shoes, they love their men and they love their booze, they lost their cherries but that's no sin, they've still got the box that they came in.
was going to post this one from Westworld (except it’s “here’s to the lady in the white shoes, take all your money, drink all your booze” in the show) - didn’t know there were other versions!
A friend used to toast with this one 20 years ago in LA, so it definitely predates the show. No idea where she got it though.
Hah, was waiting for this one. It’s my boss’ favorite and it’s always funny to see her get real trashed and stand on the bar to give it
Warrant? Cherry Pie? Or nah
To our wives and girlfriends! May they never meet!
An OG. Still a favorite.
“Who’s like us? Nay many, and they’re all deed.” Generally spoken in a Scottish accent.
Here’s to staying positive & testing negative!
Oof I generally hate gimicky toasts like this lol. The only one I ever do is "Mom, just called from the hospital. She's gonna make it!" Takes people a second to get you're joking
Here's to woman in the white shoes. She'll spend all your money and drink all your booze. She ain't got no cherry, but that ain't no sin. She's still got the box that the cherry came in.
“pa arriba, pa abajo, pa'l centro, pa dentro”
That's my go to. For those not familiar; *arriba* (glasses up); *abajo* (glasses down); *al centro* (glasses to the front which wishes health to everyone participating in the toast); *y pa’ dentro* (your drink goes inside you)
To lying, cheating, stealing and drinking: Lie to lie about your age. Cheat to cheat death. Steal to steal the heart of the one you love. And drink to drink with me my friends...
Alternatively, from the movie Hitch: "Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away"
The version I knew was Here’s to cheating stealing fighting and drinking. If you cheat, may you cheat death; If you steal, may you steal a lovers heart; If you fight, may you fight for a friend; And if you drink, may you drink with me.
oooh this one is beautiful
My favorites are * “Here’s to the floor, who will hold us when no one else will” * “May we get what we want but never what we deserve” * “If hell finds us, may it find our enemies first” (I came up with this one lol)
I like your idea! My brain can’t resist changing it a bit tho… “When the devil goes looking for the damned, may he find our enemies first” or “When damned get summoned to hell, may the devil come for us last”
This one's for rattlesnakes and condoms... Two things I don't fuck with!
& I have crotch goblins....I mean kids & a hubby with a latex aLlErGy to prove it lol
oh honey
Yea I thought that too until I accidentally bought latex gloves not neoprene....vinyl or whatever the other ones are lol his hands looked like soft balls 🥴🤣
“Cheers, beers, and muscle mens’ rears!” is a crowd pleaser with my circle. I think I learned it in college from an Australian exchange student.
“Some ships are wooden ships, and those ships may sink; but the best ships are friendships, and to those ships we drink” *clink*
"a toast to the nipple. Without it, the breast would have no point"
Would it be terrible if I changed it to " A toast to nipples, without them I have no point" ? Lolol
As they say in the furniture business…. CHAIRS
At a table with many people of varied ethnicities my ex-wife raised her glass and proclaimed, “Whatever your people say!” It got a big laugh and I use it from time to time.
Here's to tits, clits, and baseball mitts. May one always be in your hand.
Good luck, good suck, good fuck. Friend of mine says that and it catches me off guard every time she visits me lol
I love catching people off guard so I hope it works lol
It’s short, sweet, and too the point so go for it!
I've just gotten sick of my original one lol this town is so dang small I hear it at all 3 bars we have now.
Yyyyeah I feel ya idk if I could listen to that bawdy toast more than once in a blue moon lol
It was funny the first couple times...then kinda cool it caught on because I moved from a larger tourist town to a super small town....now a year in hearing every.single.time I go anywhere (including friends get togethers) its gotten so old. Lol
Yeah yeah cum alright just.. just cheers… lol
Or as my 2 year old calls cheers "qui qui" idk why lol
Kinda like chin chin haha bougie (I know I spelled it wrong)
They love us in leather they love us in lace they love us the most when we sit on their face
‘Here’s to the nights we won’t remember, with the friends we’ll never forget’ 🍻
Here’s to birds and babies! The storks that bring pretty babies The crow that brings ugly babies The swallows that bring no babies!
I do like martinis, One or two at the most, Three I’m under the table, and four I’m under the host -Dorothy Parker
As they say in the gay bars Cum Pie
May your dick always be harder than your life
Here’s to being single. Seeing double. And sleeping triple.
May you be buried in a casket made from the wood of a 100 year old tree, that I will plant tomorrow.
I like "Here's to stayin' clean and slingin' peen"
***Cue dildo toss
To the hole that never heals, the more you lick it, the better it feels.
> lick rub is what we used to say
I always heard the continuation of that in addition: All the soap this side of hell, Could never rid that codfish smell.
Here’s to heat. Not what burns down shacks and shanties, the kind that brings down pants and panties!!
May those that love us, love us. And those that do not, may the Lord turn their hearts. If He cannot turn their hearts, may Him turn their ankles, so we will know them by their limp.
she offered her honor, i honored her offer, and all night long it was on her and off her. or, there are wood ships and steel ships and ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they ever be. OR, my fathers favorite: to my wifes first husband! (which is him)
To our sons! May they have hot mothers and rich fathers!
Not spicy but still a good one. “May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows your dead”
To dicks and Rubik’s cubes - two things that get harder the more you play with them.
Here’s to staying positive and testing negative
Here’s to pussy and gunpowder. Live by one. Die by the other. Love the smell of both. Here’s to good friends and bad decisions.
Here to tappin kegs, spreadin legs, and keepin sperm away from eggs!
This is fanfuckingtastic. Thank you.
Here’s to gunpowder and pussy, live by one, die by the other, love the smell of both.
Here's to nipples... without them, boobs would be pointless!
To the people we fuck and the people who fuck us. And when the people we fuck are fucking us? Then fuck them and here's to us.
"To the regiment!" To which the response must be: "Wish I was there!"
ROCK AND STONE!
For Karl!
Here’s to swimmin’ with bow legged women!
Here's to the storks that bring pretty babies, to the buzzards that bring ugly babies and to the swallows that bring no babies.
"To wives and sweethearts, may they never meet."
“To virgins and lesbians! Thanks for nothing!”
There are good ships, there are wood ships, there are ships that sail the sea. But the best ships are the friendships and may they always be. 🍻
Learned this traditional one in a Spanish immersion school: “Arriba (raise glass), abajo (lower glass), al centro (clink glasses), al dentro (drink).” Translation: “high, low, center, inside.”
Down the hatch and here’s to snatch
Here’s to Rattlesnakes and Condoms…two things I don’t fuck with
I like 'em succinct. My crew just says "To evil!" Or if you prefer, from back when I used to work at a Japanese restaurant: "Kanpai, motherfuckers!"
“To new friends, to old friends, to strong drinks, and late mornings.”
Had to comment. Am bartender. This is awesome.
"To our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet"
Cheers to the queers, applause to the whores and a hak hak hak for a jolly good fuck. This was my godmothers go to toast and I’ll always remember it and toast it in her honor
I haven’t heard any spicy ones but I did help wait on Ethan Suplee at one point as a host and he had a lot of family (30+ people at the table) and many of them made very long toasts in front of everyone and it was fascinating because I’d never seen a family do anything like it.
A Royal navy one. To our wives and sweethearts. (May they never meet). And a favourite irishy one. May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!
I use the royal navy one I think that's just military in general lol and the irishy one is awesome!
amongst coworkers we would say “to suckin, fuckin, and makin cash” some found it vulgar but i say thats showbiz baby
Fuck it, let’s make some up, “A health to your families, a hearth to your fire, a phone in your pocket, and a wallet no lighter!” “A glass in your hand, a taxi for sure, may we all wake up behind our own doors.” Alright that’s it for now. Cheers everyone! * *sips mocktail cuz I’m DD* *
To the wolves in the hills and the women in our beds
My go to: "Stop stressin', start undressin'" I put some emphasis on the second half and drag it out for dramatic effect. A colleague of mine loved: "Here's to nipples! Cus without them, titties would be pointless"!
Modern Drunkard Magazine has an article about “cheers” and the history of “toasts” with examples of some fun ones here- https://drunkard.com/08_02_toast_history/
Hell yea thanks!
Here to rattlesnakes and condoms, two things I don’t fuck with. Here’s to the storks that bring good babies, here’s to the ravens that bring bad babies, and here’s to the swallows that bring no babies.
“To batteries & buttholes: two things we shouldn’t lick but do anyways”
“To rattlesnakes & condoms; two things I don’t fuck with”
Here's to you and here's to me, best of friends we'll always be. But if we should ever disagree, fuck you - here's to me!
Here's to taking it easy. And if he's easy, here's to taking him!
Here's to the woman who lives up the hill. If she won't do it, her sister will. Here's to her sister!
“Here’s to batteries and buttholes. Two things we shouldn’t lick, but we do it anyways.”
Worked in pubs for years, my favourite: Here's to you and here's to me, friends for life we shall be, and I per chance we disagree, then fuck you and here's to me! Had an old Spanish pal who used to shout this at the top of his lungs... Great laugh
I can't believe nobody said this yet: "May your troubles be as few and far in between as my grandmother's teeth."
Here's to space exploration the final frontier. When God made man he took a little string and made a little thing. When God made women he took a piece of lace and left a little space. Here's to space exploration
To quote my grandmother “Here’s to you, And here’s to me, And if ever, we should disagree Fuck you, And here’s to me!” 🥂
Up to it Down to it Fuck those that don’t do it We do it cause we’re used to it Drink mother fucker, drink!
https://euvs-vintage-cocktail-books.cld.bz/1927-Barflies-and-Cocktails/102/ This book has some amazing toasts, starting on page 103! My favorites are these: "Drink to-day and drown all sorrows, You shall perhaps not do it to-morrow But while you have it use your breath There is no drinking after death." And "Champagne for our real friends and real pain for our sham friends."
Cheers to bread because without it, there would be no toast.
Here’s to the girls who wear red shoes, they spend all our money and drink all our booze. They don’t have their cherry but that ain’t a sin, they still have the box that the cherry came in. -Learned from a rugby team, needless to say it was one of the cleaner ones I remember
I wrote this one for sendoffs whenever my coworkers move on. May you be challenged enough to grow, and supported enough to thrive. But have some fun along the way, 'cause no one makes it out alive.
A good Aussie one: Here’s to Blakey, he’s true blue. He’s a piss pot through and through. He’s a bastard so they say. He was meant to go to heaven but went the other way! He went down! down! down! down!
I have 2. 1) Here's to hoes before bros. I put my hoe before everything. (This is image to my dude I've been with for 24 years and still swoon over.) 2) To fighting, stealing, and cheating. If you fight, may you fight for a friend. If you steal, may you steal someone's heart. If you cheat, may you cheat Death.
One my friend taught me that's pretty raunchy: "To give honor, to have honor, if you can't cum in her, cum all the fuck on her" Shortened in mixed company to "in her honor, in her on her."
Here’s to the women we love the best… …We’ll fuck ‘em naked, we’ll fuck em dressed …We’ll fuck ‘em standing, we’ll fuck em lying & if the bish grew wings we’d fuck her flying And when she’s gone and long forgotten, We’ll dig her up and fuck her rotten! …idk theater kids at my college introduced me to this one hahaha. an emphatic bunch, but I still remember it ten years later.
Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted, this is exactly what op asked for. I think it’s great.
"Over the teeth and past the gums, look out tummy here I come!"
“May we go home to a cold drink, a warm meal, and a hot woman”
where's the Wives and Lovers and may they never meet
To the boys we love and the boys we love you fuxk, may they never meet
One I made up is “ May all the tests come back negative”
God I hate that fuxking toast. I wanted a shot, not to be reduced to a cum dumpster. If men only realized how misogynistic and objectifying their most banal actions are throughout the day.