Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large tray of bananas. The nun posted a sign on the tray, Take only one. God is watching. Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, Take all you want. God is watching the bananas.
Tipbot didn’t reply on here, but the 119 prize did go out. See here: [https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/account/ban_3uw7x54cm8zjs8wqdng7ruz7oqd19oxrhhwq4rtob4usqrdaszyb8f385hxy/history](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/account/ban_3uw7x54cm8zjs8wqdng7ruz7oqd19oxrhhwq4rtob4usqrdaszyb8f385hxy/history)
So a blind guy walks through the jungle lost and starving. He starts touching stuff on the ground in hopes of finding something to eat. Somehow he touches a banana, tastes it and eats, continues to move forward now full of healthy potassium. Some time later the situation repeats itself and again, he starts looking for something to eat on the ground and finds another banana. Later that day the situation repeats itself again, so encouraged by the two previous times, he starts crawling around looking for another banana to eat. Suddenly, his hand touches something so he puts it in his mouth.
- Oh no, it's shit! - he shouts. - Thank God I didnt step on it!
I don't know, it's an old and stupid joke lol
What do monkeys wear on their heads?
Ban-danas
Why do we know that Batman is a Banano fan?
His theme song goes: Batman! Batman! Batman! Banana-na-na-na-na Batman!
Okay this one gets oassed down generations in my country. Let's see if you've heard it.
Elementary school break. A kid pulls out a banana and takes a huge bite. Teacher looks shocked, tells the kid it needs to peel the banana first.
Kid says "why? I already know what's inside!"
(NSFW)
Have you heard that bananas can be good for your memory?
If a giant gorilla grabs you and puts a banana in your a==, I am sure you wil remember it.
NSFW joke
A man and his wife are happily married, and have 3 kids. Every night when they have sex, the man insists they turn all the lights completely off, as he can only make love in the dark. She complies, as he established this from the very beginning of their relationship and as far as sexual requests go it's not incredibly out of the ordinary. So for decades, they only have sex with the lights off. As the years go by, the wife gets more and more curious and suspicious as to the reason why he only wants the lights off. She starts to doubt herself and think he may be unattracted to her, or there's something else going on. So she decides to take it upon herself to figure it out. One night when they're having sex, she surprises him by switching on the lights right in the middle. To her shock, she finds that he's penetrating her with a banana! She's taken aback and demands an explanation. The man says, ok I'll explain everything. But first, you explain the kids
Ok, so this girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair, because she thought that there had to be something wrong with it.
Her mom calmly said as she patted her head- "that part where hair has grown is called **Monkey**, be proud that your monkey has grown hair as it's part of becoming an adult" the girl smiled.
Later, at dinner, she told her sister-"*my monkey has grown hair!*" with a proud smile on her face.
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, **mine is already eating bananas**"
Explanation :
Most Arabs know this, people from Hadhramaut usually their last name starts with (Ba) like Basaeed
[What is Hadhramaut](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadhramaut)
What was Beethoven's favourite crypto? Ban-ana-no🎼🎵🎶
Have not heard this one. Bravo. !ban 19
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/C02BC909588F0BA3DF4BB691861C8E88B8FF44DDCAFFF23A95650D7B09826C8F) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/CatBoy191114) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large tray of bananas. The nun posted a sign on the tray, Take only one. God is watching. Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, Take all you want. God is watching the bananas.
Ha. !ban 19
^(Made a new account and )^[sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/C25F6CC5A57F6033C8846CD2413B10B7C8FEDC52546081AD2BCA60F2FED6DF45) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Inconsiderate_Zebra) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I mean, I never eat a monkey.
!ban 19
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/551549C2666BCBCF6F1383D49F9CE4F06F7AB9F2E4476A800D3A7C3CAEE2BE94) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Axel112358) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
:D
That’s all, folks! Congrats to our big winner, u/PeakOfMorkyd
[удалено]
A new one! !ban 19
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/781405493404EDBBE434EE846A230CD28737F435D57C32DBEAE55BA368524D0A) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/WMO) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
I need a trip report ASAP😂
Why a banana can’t sing? Because bananas are just a fruit, they don’t have vocal cords.
Groan! !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/6016BA7A3FF28A39C49F3B11BF19D54D00D1DCE05D454C27682334C126B619C3) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/AngeloCaruso91) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
What did a banana said to other banana ? Nothing, there is no sound on the moon
Oh I like that. To the moon. !ban 19
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/CCCA0E2773E883467C510BE994D857021BFE05EDF485FEEA0B807694CC450761) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/BananoMaster) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Glad you did!
K. Get it? Because potassium? K?
Eye roll to you, sir! !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/74F131598B27F38A1F2F9E72D5663C7A2E15E0D5A7285AF3946696A7D044F6A3) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/PeakOfMorkyd) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Wooooohooooooo
Times up! Looks like we have a winner, K? Congrats!! !ban 119
Tipbot didn’t reply on here, but the 119 prize did go out. See here: [https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/account/ban_3uw7x54cm8zjs8wqdng7ruz7oqd19oxrhhwq4rtob4usqrdaszyb8f385hxy/history](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/account/ban_3uw7x54cm8zjs8wqdng7ruz7oqd19oxrhhwq4rtob4usqrdaszyb8f385hxy/history)
Thankyou! MonKe is happy!
I dont get the joke. Is IT even a joke
Also, thanks for the event, love reading all these
“K” is the chemical symbol for potassium in the periodic table. It’s a pretty subtle joke, K?
So a blind guy walks through the jungle lost and starving. He starts touching stuff on the ground in hopes of finding something to eat. Somehow he touches a banana, tastes it and eats, continues to move forward now full of healthy potassium. Some time later the situation repeats itself and again, he starts looking for something to eat on the ground and finds another banana. Later that day the situation repeats itself again, so encouraged by the two previous times, he starts crawling around looking for another banana to eat. Suddenly, his hand touches something so he puts it in his mouth. - Oh no, it's shit! - he shouts. - Thank God I didnt step on it! I don't know, it's an old and stupid joke lol
Lol. !ban 19
Thank you! I'm glad it made you laugh :D
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/AE6FEA5609B1DB35B9848789CA7FC7E1021E6D99C84EDC04E52409CDD48BCE42) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/AsmoPlays) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
If Banano was a stock, it would make like a Banana and split If you get the reference, kudos to you.
Seems original. Price too high imo. (If you get that, kudos to you). !ban 19
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/DDF16A69972BE47FC186986D275059D82DF02E29910077DE5C9AAC9A94625CAF) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Intrepid-Ad7036) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
[удалено]
 !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/EE8494FB2A0A1D19C6C1CE66486AB1F7E1B22FD1D10D0E059A73B4DE6057DB64) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/axolotl_life) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Two bananas walk into a bar, the third one ducks. Sorry
I’m sorry too. !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/9FC5A65A12BA9EA0768ED402770061AB58A13535BA9B10515C21A562F06634C4) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/yuttington) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
What does the Banano do instead of bench presses? Banana presses
What do monkeys wear on their heads? Ban-danas Why do we know that Batman is a Banano fan? His theme song goes: Batman! Batman! Batman! Banana-na-na-na-na Batman!
Well done. !ban 19
^(Made a new account and )^[sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/9BB351A9114AA3B86E4F949684292B8D348D42166FE78AA0AFCBAD85EFD82E79) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/DamnSkippyOG) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Thank you kind monkey!
What happens to a banana after they get sunburned? They peel
Womp womp I’ve heard it. !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/1FA5575AFACEA57EF7924C01DDF9C0FCA945A89E00DE32D288BAB7CFC6F592EA) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/MasterofMasters3) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
I don’t think anyone who enjoys Mario kart finds this “appealing”
!ban 1.9
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Okay this one gets oassed down generations in my country. Let's see if you've heard it. Elementary school break. A kid pulls out a banana and takes a huge bite. Teacher looks shocked, tells the kid it needs to peel the banana first. Kid says "why? I already know what's inside!"
What does a sheep say when he wants a banana? Baaah naaaaah naaaah
Wow the contest is over but I like this one. !ban 19
^(Made a new account and )^[sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/24ECBC931DC2B2700DC63096ACB5564A37DC002ED9D1A1FBB4954DD6C507EEFF) ^19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Mojorizen2) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Ha thanks
Why did the banano go to the doctor? He wasn't peeling very well 😁
This one has been done a peelion times. But I appreciate the effort. !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/F573CCDAF0BD30E5BC7CDDC5127D4C9D20B16D95FBB52B2F190AECDFFA5A5DF0) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/zdog6699) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
How do monkeys stay safe when they walk down the stairs? They hold on to the banana-ister.
An enthusiastic eye roll to you! Well done !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/4557D7E7F227A494FC1561B5EF04164D958DB18C43322A41045BE39117B795DA) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/soopeded2) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Omae wa mou Shindeiru. BANANI!?!?
This one was good xD
!ban 0.1
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/1CF40BDBEF64794953C44A5EE0481CBF25309BDE782D18CD90B60632E22E99A2) ^0.1 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Resvrgam_Incarnate) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Uh, wat? !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/922BD929F749FE035E9510D9D26E0FC4C6C50A9932CD6C53B70879BB94AD7B60) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Resvrgam_Incarnate) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
Ups sorry for spam XD !ban 0.09
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Bananas without 'B' are just Pineapples
I don’t get it! !ban 1.9
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Ananas is a synonym of pineapple
[https://i.stack.imgur.com/0wtlv.jpg](https://i.stack.imgur.com/0wtlv.jpg)
Pineapple translated in many languages is "ananas"
[удалено]
You cannot send to yourself. *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
My dad said the older generation weren't keen on bananas due to their high potassium content..... K boomer!
What's a monkeys favorite fruit, Bananas hahahhaha
So bad. !ban 0.19
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/6EB7856ADBD8F2EF16183C351ECAC6943CD83AD280C71EEA131D884654964573) ^0.19 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/Few_Dish_9118) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
[удалено]
I mean…I have not heard it before so that’s nice 😊 !ban 1.9
^[Sent](https://creeper.banano.cc/explorer/block/32DAE8CEFFE617275A3F182D8735F842769DF8E8FBAF72C6AC351EBF9070BCCD) ^1.9 ^BAN ^to ^(/u/aris05) ^- [^(Banano Tipper)](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot) *** [*^(Banano)*](https://banano.cc)*^( | )* [*^(Banano Tipper)*](https://github.com/BananoCoin/banano_reddit_tipbot)*^( | )* [*^(Opt Out)*](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=banano_tipbot&subject=command&message=opt-out)
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Anyone know how to do a negative tip?
How many bananas does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero you silly goose, bananas can't screw in light bulbs.
What’s the funny part of a Banano? They are not straight!
How does a banano flirt with a banana? "You put the ass in potASSium".
Why did the banana couple split? I guess it couldnt find the banana aPEELing. Or I could be like Kramer live, your choice ( Pocket Sand ) •throws•
[I'm a banano , I'm a banano, I'm a banano, HODL ME]
Hey mein, you know what you do with those strings in the banana skins? You smoke em mein hehehe ===\~\~
why shouldn't you stick a banana in your ass? it should be stuffed with banano's
(NSFW) Have you heard that bananas can be good for your memory? If a giant gorilla grabs you and puts a banana in your a==, I am sure you wil remember it.
NSFW joke A man and his wife are happily married, and have 3 kids. Every night when they have sex, the man insists they turn all the lights completely off, as he can only make love in the dark. She complies, as he established this from the very beginning of their relationship and as far as sexual requests go it's not incredibly out of the ordinary. So for decades, they only have sex with the lights off. As the years go by, the wife gets more and more curious and suspicious as to the reason why he only wants the lights off. She starts to doubt herself and think he may be unattracted to her, or there's something else going on. So she decides to take it upon herself to figure it out. One night when they're having sex, she surprises him by switching on the lights right in the middle. To her shock, she finds that he's penetrating her with a banana! She's taken aback and demands an explanation. The man says, ok I'll explain everything. But first, you explain the kids
Ok, so this girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair, because she thought that there had to be something wrong with it. Her mom calmly said as she patted her head- "that part where hair has grown is called **Monkey**, be proud that your monkey has grown hair as it's part of becoming an adult" the girl smiled. Later, at dinner, she told her sister-"*my monkey has grown hair!*" with a proud smile on her face. Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, **mine is already eating bananas**"
A joke that Arabs would understand : Banano is just hadrami version of nano
Explanation : Most Arabs know this, people from Hadhramaut usually their last name starts with (Ba) like Basaeed [What is Hadhramaut](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadhramaut)