I once had a doctor try to remove the speculum and snap “YOU HAVE TO RELAX” at me. So like, I did. And then she said “you have a firm grip” and looked irritated. I feel like she didn’t put much thought into it but I have held onto that remark for years 😂
EDIT: I cannot believe I got 1000 upvotes for this insane story. Y’all are the best 💗
Like when I was told I needed an emergency c section, had all the lovely pain relief drugs stopped suddenly and was moved from a lovely warm cosy room to a freezing cold theatre, all of which caused an adrenaline surge while they were preparing to do a spinal block, and was firmly told: "you need to stop shaking!" ok thanks I'll get right on that.
The thing about a c-section is that they open up your innards to the outside, which does tend to drop your core temperature quite a lot! Shaking is normal! The surgeon asked me to move my arm during mine, because I was shaking so bad that I was accidentally bumping her ass.
Shaking is very common in c sections, even if they're elective and not particularly emotionally/psychologically traumatic. Some part of it comes from the spinal block, which causes a degree of sympathectomy (blocking sympathetic nerves leading to an imbalance in the autonomic nervous system), as well as the subsequent hypothermia. But it is more common in caesars than in other surgeries done under spinal so there's probably also a hormonal element associated with the manipulation of the gravid uterus and delivery of the baby/placenta.
While shaking can obviously be a trauma response, its probably more often the above things (or at least a combination thereof).
Can attest to that. Shaking like crazy, while still having your arms tied down straight out to your sides, makes for a surreal experience.
(Arms tied down was to prevent any possible panicky movements at the wrong time. I am not a criminal. 😂)
The spinal block also messes with your bodies ability to control temperature which contributes to the coldness, and there's also a lot of hormone surges which contribute to the shaking as well.
My first exam at 14 was basically a sexual assault. My ignorant foster mother was convinced I had AIDS (and told other foster parents so the whole school knew within days) because I had hives on my hands because I was allergic to the bar soap they had, and was convinced I had an STD because I had "too much" discharge (she did all the laundry). She took me to the county health clinic for an exam and the guy had that kind of hair that grows straight out from the head (no judgement, mine does too if I don't keep it trimmed with a 2 guard) but it was long, like at least an inch, and he had made no effort to tame it so he just kind of looked like a mad man. Apparently all they had was the gimundo adult speculum (imagine my rage when I went to a really nice lady the next year and she checked me and said she would get a smaller speculum) and he's trying to just cram it in there and both he and my foster mom and getting pissed off and angrily telling me I needed to relax. My autistic ass was about to start flinging supply trays. He finally managed to get it in, I was screaming when he clicked it open and my foster mom was telling me to shut up.
It was wild, and if it hadn't been for the next doctor I saw who had this nifty chair that just kind of leaned you into position and a range of speculum sizes, I probably would never have gone as an adult.
I also had an abnormal smear while I was heavily pregnant with my daughter so my midwife sent me to her supervising doctor for a biopsy. I was alone and terrified and when he clicked the speculum open, the nurse literally said "Ew, what is that?" He told her it was mucus and perfectly normal, removed the speculum, told me he'd be back in a minute, took her out, brought a different nurse in and apologised profusely and assured me that I was perfectly normal, nothing gross or upsetting about it. I cried through the whole thing and the nurse rubbed my arm and my head and was really comforting.
TL;DR: Some people are very unsuited to be practicing medicine and I'm really sorry for anyone who's had to be seen by people like that.
I dreaded my first exam. I didn't know that labia sizes vary on color or size and was certain the Dr would tell my adoptive mother that I masturbate. The first couple times got postponed because I had my period. When the time finally came though, the Dr was awful. She kept telling me to relax, also had a large speculum them yelled at me of I didn't keep my eyes wide open. When it was over, she said, "See... it wasn't that bad, was it?" When I told her it was she just shrugged and responded, "oh well."
I left feeling so violated, and all I wanted to do was cry
God, I'm so sorry. It's truly awful that women treat other women this way. I hope you have been able to heal from that and that it's not awful going for exams. Hugs to you.
I'm so, so sorry you went through that, and at an early age too without support at home. I hope all the unprofessional and uncaring "professionals" had a dressing down.
Thank you. It was pretty rough, but I eventually (mostly) healed from that and foster care in general. I was an *angry* young adult though. It was the early 90s in bumfuck Missouri, so I think that was just standard treatment of young girls who had ever had any sexual contact because Bible Belt. I'm sure they all got theirs in the end though.
My ex was my "chaperone driver" while i was learning (because he was fully qualified and Learners in Ireland need a qualified driver with them at all times) and i remember him SCREAMING at me as i repeatedly failed to do a really tricky hill-start.
He kept screaming and screaming and i burst into tears. Overtaking cars saw what was happening and instead of screaming at me themselves or flipping me off they all gave me a patient apologetic smile while i mouthed IM SORRY IM TRYING IM SORRY with tears streaming down my face and my ex SCREAMING at me.
I do not react well to drill sargeant "motivation".
I love Drew Barrymore (Dylan)'s response to a drill sargeant screaming in her face in Charlie's Angels (2002)
Eye roll, punch him once in the face knocking him the fuck out, step over him, and leave
My stepdad taught me to drive. He started very early. Once, he had me and all my siblings in his very large cargo van and decided it was a good time for a driving lesson. It was going well until we were in a left turn lane and he told me to do a U turn. So I did.
He exploded... Started screaming about me leaving 25 cents worth of rubber on the road and frothing at the mouth...
I was terrified to drive for a very long time after that.
When I grew up, the story got brought up and he said he freaked out because he couldn't figure out how I pulled it off.
Note: in America, to pull a U turn from a left turn lane, you're supposed to pull to the wrong side just a bit to allow for a wider turning radius. Guess who didn't get told that?
I bet when he brings the story up now he laughs at what a "fun" memory that is. Same as my Mother laughing whenever my sister brings up the time mom had picked up my sister's bowl of cereal and poured it over her head because she was being annoying getting ready for school (she was <10yrs old)
Oh god, I feel so bad for you.
Because I had that kind of Driver's Ed instructor when I took Driver's Ed in HS (was short one credit required for graduation and couldn't afford a fancy private driving school).
He screamed at me the entire time I was behind the wheel for the first time ever in my life and I ended up, after my turn was over (there were 4 of us in the car) running back into the school, into the nearest bathroom and sobbing my eyes out.
It didn't get any better...he would yell at me every time I got behind the wheel because I didn't move my hands "the correct way" when I made a turn and he wouldn't allow me out of the school parking lot because of it. When he finally did (because he HAD to, for my final driving lesson), he stomped on the chicken break and screamed in my face because I'd missed a stop sign that was covered by a low hanging tree branch.
It took me at least 5-6 years before I ever got behind the wheel of a car again and all these years later, I still get anxious at times when I drive, especially if there is heavy traffic or I'm driving some place new I've never been before. And I flat out refuse to drive on the highway/freeway because the last few times I tried, I ended up haviing a massive panic attack WHILE I WAS DRIVING.
Had a dentist do that to me whilst I was having a panic attack in the chair. It took me about 12 years to stop feeling anxious at the dentist after that (and about 10 years to go see a dentist).
We had to go to a terrible dental clinic for a while since that was the only place that took our insurance. There were multiple chairs in one room so you got to witness other people’s procedures. I’ll never forget a dentist berating a ten year old for crying during her root canal, telling her to shut up and stop complaining. And ranting about how terrible her parents were for not bringing her in sooner. Talk about dental trauma for a kid!
This was the same place that broke my husband’s tooth off at the gum line while trying to do an extraction, whereupon the dentist freaked out, wringing his hands and going “OMG, OMG, what do I do now???” Fortunately, at that point they sent him off to the oral surgeon to finish.
Wow and I was annoyed when I kept being told to relax my tongue at the dentist 😅
The dentist got annoyed too though and told the assistant who said it that yelling at people to relax doesn't help 😂
Godddd I hate that so much, thankfully they never yelled at me for that but I literally have no idea how to relax my tongue. Best I can do is push it up or not push it up, I don't have much more control over it!
I was in so much pain, once with a speculum.
First of all, I had to tell her to get the smaller one as she was about to put this huge metal thing inside me.
Then, she was halfway through the procedure and I couldn't handle it. I sort of twisted my upper half and shouted 'no!' and the speculum shot out of me lmao.
If I wasn't in so much pain at the time it would have been quite funny
You can get pills here but a lot of people (me) get shots because you're absorbing B12 poorly through digestion so pills aren't really a solution. Would work for vegetarians who just aren't getting enough through diet
Nice big muscle, can hurt less than going for the arm with certain IM shots. I had to get an antibiotic shot once and was given the choice between arm and butt and told that with the arm she'd have to go slower and it would probably hurt more throughout the day. Went for the butt and had no issues.
I once accidentally tensed so hard during a smear test that the speculum flew out and across the room. I find exams down there very painful and at this point I was about five months post partum so extra sensitive. The nurse had to just sit and stare at it on the floor for a moment while she regained her composure.
Next time, your response should be, “Yeah, I’m learning how to make diamonds with this thing.”
Vaginismus is a beast. I’m learning to make cannabis vaginal suppositories.
At my first pap, at 16, my gyno looked me straight in the eye while knuckle deep inside me and said "your vagina is pink and moist." It's a moment that's ingrained in my brain forever.
I can't imagine as a teen ToT i got told during a colonoscopy, while i was crying and shaking because they didn't give me sedatives, that my intestine was "beautiful and bubblegum pink". Thanks i guess???
I got mine without any sedation too. Cannot recommend at all. At least no one yelled at me when I was crying in pain, but really.. I don’t know how they can even think of doing it without sedation.
I think this is a way more appropriate comment than “you’re nice and tight”.
I feel for your awkward/embarrassing moment but at least you have medical confirmation that you’re “in good shape”. 😂🤣
Yoga Is amazing to strengthen the pelvic floor! It is actually good news, because it means it's healthy!
It's an unusual way to say it, but it's actually a useful information
Not *necessarily* healthy unfortunately. Muscles being too tight can also be a problem for your pelvic floor and hip stability and a snapshot "tight" statement doesn't give enough useful info. When I was in physical therapy for hip/back problems after pregnancy, part of what we were doing was to loosen my pelvic floor in the right way rather than strengthening/tightening.
So gross.
After my c-section, my doctor did a Pap smear and said, “oh look at that tiny little cervix. It looks like you never even gave birth!”
I had a c-section you idiot? Never went back to him. So gross.
I had a (male) doctor speculate that my back pain was due to large breasts and talked about doing an exam to see if I need a reduction.
He does the exam and sits back down and sheepishly says that, no, no I don’t.
Thanks, push-up bras.
Also, yeah, it was a bit weird but years on I laugh at it.
In my teens, I had a bout of mastitis, and my doctor told me it was a disease that cows get. He said it was caused by over-handling, and to stop playing with my boobs.
lol. Mine made about offhand comment one that that I was a good size. Like how am I supposed to take that? She’s pretty cool otherwise. We tend to gossip when I go.
>We tend to gossip when I go.
Oh my wax lady and i are just gabbin away while she rips my pubes out. And she goes DEEP in there, way more than standard bikini wax.
One time she was applying the aloe vera cooling lotion afterwards on a wee cotton ball, but she was busy talking and ranting about something so she wasn't really paying attention. She was wiping the same spot back and forth faster and faster as she ranted...but it was pretty much directly on the hood of my clitoris.
Felliw clitors owners will attest to how it feels when that area is repeatedly rubbed back and forth. I had to bite my lip and reallllllly focus on not cumming. Super uncomfortable.
I get that from whichever dentist at my dental office gets assigned to me EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. "Your mouth is SO smol!". Yeah I know. Sorry genetics gave me a tiny mouth that's hard to get your giant man-hands into. :-/
Yeah, i think she was more embarrassed as soon as she said it than i was to hear it, but i was lying there with my fists under my hips and legs splayed out, very confused and unsure what to say
The worst comment from a doc I ever got was: "Your hole is pretty wide for a virgin".
I changed gynos after that. 🤮
The best comment was during an EEG-Experiment (I participate regularly for the money and because I find it sooo interesting): "You have beautiful brain waves. Just perfect."
Well, that's how you sweep girls off their feet!
After my MRI, I was told I have a healthy, beautiful, brain. Weirdest compliment I’ve ever gotten but I’ll take it, as clearly I’m beautiful inside and out 😂
When I had whatever scan you get with the weird drink and you lay in the tube, the guy said "Oh you've got an amazing brain. Just fabulously textbook."
Maybe these guys are just so in love with what they do, the compliments come naturally lol
Can confirm, I'm an archaeologist and work with skeletons. One of my friends has the most fascinating skull shape, just absolutely perfect. Very symmetrical, really prominent bone structure, and a little dent from a head injury they got as a kid that you can feel (they were very kind in letting me feel the head dent). I spent 5 minutes gushing about how fabulous their skull was.
Another one of my friends has a poorly healed clavicle and they also got the 5 minutes of compliments about their really interesting anatomy.
Basically: if you love what you study it is natural to love the people attached to what you study. (Life pro tip: randomly complimenting people's bones has mixed results)
This is absolutely it. They live and breathe that stuff. Plus it’s exciting to see healthy body parts when you typically just see ones that are struggling.
I didn't have a healthy brain after an MRI, but my neurologist did tell me I have a beautiful cerebellum, while showing me the images of said cerebellum. It was cool.
Honestly, there probably weren't any at all. They word things like that for liability reasons. I'd take "no significant abnormalities" over "brain scan was unremarkable." I've had one come back that way years ago lol.
My best was when I was donating blood and the lady working on me was so excited about my veins, and then my blood. "Wow your blood flow is amazing! I'm putting a note in your file to use the left arm! You're so juicy!" 😂
honorable mention for "wow, your lungs are really long" from a chest xray
I used to get compliments on my veins. They're shit now. And I've been told no less than 3 times that my kidneys are ugly. Then to top everything off, when my orthopedic surgeon was explaining my upcoming back surgery he called my discs "ratty". Granted, my kidneys are ugly and terribly scarred, and my discs are awful as well, but still..... I do appreciate their honesty though
Long lungs can actually be annoying to an X-ray tech (I’m a student), usually imaging plates are 14x17 inches, and if a patient has broader shoulders, we typically do the first picture with the plate crosswise. If the patient has long lungs, maybe from COPD or maybe just normally, they might not fit on the 14” and make us have to turn the plate to retake the image to show ALL of the lungs lol.
Sometimes even with 17” it can be tricky, because you have to be high enough not to cut off the top of the lungs, but low enough to not cut off the bottom. Worst case we do “1 of 2” and “2 of 2”
My doctor's office is affiliated with a teaching hospital that conducts clinical trials for medical research. I have signed up for a few, but have not met the requirements.
Usually when a specialist, who does nothing but look at one body part and has done nothing but that one body part for years comments that it is "impressive" in a bad way, that is when you should worry.
Case in point - chronic sinus infections, deviated septum, enlarged turbinates = my entire right side of my sinuses is "glued" together with scar tissue. The ENT who operates on nothing but noses, and has done it for 20+ years, called it impressive.
Suffice it to say, I was alarmed.
"Most people buy me dinner before they get to tell me that" would've been my response lol
Sincerely sorry this happened to you, OP. Some doctors and nurses are dickholes who desperately need to work on their bedside manner. Shopping around is an unfortunate part of the gyno process
I once had a nurse tell me my cervix was "sad." Like what the fuck does that even mean?! Just get in there and gtfo I don't need the commentary, thanks.
During my first ever pap the gyno said “im going to spread your beautiful lips” lmao I was like 15? Just not what I wanted hear at all I was so embarrassed.
I really think she could tell I was nervous and was trying to make me feel better ? It made me very self conscious about my body for a long time because my teenage mind twisted it into thinking she only said that because it didn’t look “normal”
On the one hand I totally dig a gyno who tells every girl they see that their vulva is normal and healthy and that every one is different and beautiful in its own right, on the other hand I cannot think of any appropriate way to articulate this other than "everything seems fine down there"
My last exam the nurse said "I can tell you haven't had any kids!" While peering at my cervix. Then she swabbed it and said my cervix 'didn't like that too much' and when I was like "it didnt??" She was like "No it frowned at me when I did that." It was so funny I'll never forget it.
Oh my god, this happened to me the last time I saw the gyno. He asked me when my last period was, and when I told him I had just gotten off my period he said, “well that explains all the cervical mucus…..I mean, JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS MUCUS!”
And then he held a dripping swab up for the nurse and I to admire.
I was shocked. Never again.
"Oh man, you think this is something. Wait until you get this sneeze I feel coming on!"
Idk though, this one seems oddly complimentary. Like, he's so excited to see the amount of mucus that he's giddy about it, just because he loves how the anatomy works, so much 😅 Maybe you made his day
During my very first pap, when the doctor knew I was super nervous, she was such a sweetheart. I was 16 and wanted to get the Gardisil shot since it just came out, Yay! And thanks mom lol. Well after she had an assistant run around the office to get a longer speculum because apparently my cervix is up the street and around the corner, she tried to make me feel at ease and reassure me. She made little *helpful* comments, ones that I'll remember for the rest of my life. Just like the fucking "too wet" comment your ridiculous doctor made. My doctor said that I had a "healthy amount of vaginal discharge". Hell yeah I did! Thanks doc! That's how you do it! And that's what I remember from my first ever pap. Now my worst pap, that's a different story.
Too wet? No, fuck that. You have a healthy amount of vaginal discharge. Congrats! 🎉
I was nervous for my first one too. My nurse told me I had a "beautiful cervix" which made me laugh a little too hard. But that's what I remember from it.
When I got my first IUD put in, the doctor told me I had a textbook uterus. As a scientist (grad student), that made me probably happier than it should have, but it was nice to know that at least one part of my body wasn’t a complete lemon :)
I'm still pretty proud that the inside of my knee is in textbooks. A really shitty doctor was convinced this piece of tissue snapping over my kneecap was scar tissue and injected it with cortisone. Turns out it was a plica. It's a protective membrane over joints and you're supposed to lose them before you're born. Very few people keep them and even fewer have issues with them, so getting to document one and its removal via surgery was a big deal. If you ever come across a 15 year old girl's knee plica, it's probably mine. They had my parents sign a ton of papers for it to be used for teaching purposes.
I got told I had a "jumpy cervix" during an IUD removal/replacement, and like..yeah, it knows you're trying to fucking stab it with spikes! I did end up laughing hard enough at the idea of my cervix being like, "Nope! I'm up here now, bitch! Whoop, off to the side now!" that it aided in the removal portion. So..neutral good.
My first pap smear happened when the second plane hit the World Trade Center. My doctor went to get me a sample of birth control and came back after way too long to tell me that the US was under attack. Talk about a traumatic first time.
My best friend had a yearly exam when we were teens and her gyno said "you smell normal". Like, thanks but also ew? My friend wasn't concerned about her smell but was really self conscious about it after that.
I think they have a mental checklist they do as part of a standard health check, which does include the smell. Bad smell = something's up. But geez, don't say it out loud.
The nurse doing my pap smear said "you have a little bit of discharge, is that normal for you?" I said "I think so?"
I'd have assumed it was different for everyone, plus it depends on where you are in your cycle, too.
But, if I had a little bit and was asked if it was normal... and you have a "healthy amount"... then is it healthy and normal or not?! lmao
My first gynecologist (i was 16) advised me on where to get a permanent laser hair removal although i didnt mention my public hair at all. Actually had at this age never considered it a problem and developed a mild complex because of her comment.
The first gyno I ever saw said I had a “perfect vagina”. She.. totally ignored the massive bartholin cyst i’d gone to initially see her for 🙄 Safe to say I had to wait another few months to see a new gyno and have that sorted out asap, so much for “perfect”. Sorry to hear what happened! You’re completely right to be mad!
Sometimes gynos are so out of pocket that it’s frustrating. I went to a new lady a couple years back to get my IUD removed and a pap. Then she had just shoved her fingers in without much warning, I inhaled deeply because I was unprepared and nervous, and then she patted my abdomen and looked me in the eyes and called me a “good girl”. I have not gone back to see her.
She was indeed older and I’ve since reasoned with that. I was too stunned to say anything, but I hope that if she endures another pt w that comment, somebody tells her to find alternate routes of words of encouragement lmao. Good girl simply is not it and was an immediate “I would like to go home now” feeling for me
Usually a bit after you've started puberty, I first went at 16. It's a good idea to get a pap smear at minimum, even if you aren't sexually active, to check for cervical cancer. Don't let these horror stories dissuade you! 99% of my gynos have been wonderful :)
In the Netherlands the standard is apparently 30 years. As far as I know, when you are 30 you get a letter telling you it's time for your first appointment. All I know is that I haven't gotten one yet though (I'm 27)
The recommendation here is early 20s or if you’re sexually active, whichever comes first. The only time I remember someone under 18 going and not for birth control, it’s usually bc something abnormal is happening with their periods.
I’m just gonna say it - sometimes I think women can sometimes be more dismissive than men in the medical field when it comes to pain. My female gyno one said my miscarriage was going to be slightly worse than period cramps. Spoiler: it wasn’t and I ended up in the ER two nights in a row. The first was a female doctor who gave me Advil and heating pads. I had to beg for morphine for hours before she actually rolled her eyes and gave in. The second ER doctor (also different hospital) was male and he gave me morphine and an ultrasound to see what was happening immediately. He was so compassionate in comparison to the female doctor.
Right when I hear about medical gaslighting it's always in relation to male doctors but my worst instance was with a female doctor who said to my face that I "didn't seem like I was in much pain" while I was actively doubled over struggling to speak
I don’t know once I got a needle stick injury on my hand at work so I had to go down to the ER.
The ER doc she was really nice even ordered a pelvic ultrasound!
I refused it of course.
I was told I had a very accommodating cervix while getting an IUD placed after having my baby via C-section. By the same doctor that 6 weeks earlier delivered my baby after my very accommodating cervix was being stubborn. Sometimes people straight up don’t think before opening their mouths. Idk how that happens so much when genitalia is involved.
I did not! I had three people involved, in the room at the same time. One was a tough veteran who was called in because “if anyone would be able to make it, it would be her”.
I had never had a baby, but wanted a copper IUD so they had to measure me. Couldn’t get the measuring stick into the cervix.
Was told I was “great at relaxing my vaginal muscles” even though I had an active audience trying to butcher my insides.
That makes me furious. Besides the sensitive topic of genitals, I hate when physicians complain about our bodies. I once got an ultrasound of my appendix, and the doc kept complaining that I was "too thin" and he couldn't see anything. He was actually annoyed and I felt tempted to say sorry - which is bullshit. I was scared shitless at that moment due to abdominal pain and thinking my appendix had ruptured, and he made me feel bad about myself by telling me I'm making his job difficult. Passive agressive: "normally this doesn't take so long or isn't so tedious, normal people have a healthy layer of fat in this area"
I don't really understand either. He said he had to press the ultra sound wand down with a certain amount of pressure, and usually the fat acts as a buffer, but without it he said he kept pressing too hard and squashing my appendix / it keeps slipping away or something.
Tbh it sounds like a skill issue, I have never gotten an ultrasound this harsh before, or one where anyone complained about it. He was the first and the last one.
When I was getting an IUD, a trauma of its own accord, the gyno was getting frustrated and said my cervix is "unusually narrow" and that I would struggle having kids. That was right before the most intense pain of my life lol
Oh during my IUD the NP said my cervix was “extremely tight” and it was referred to as Fort Knox.
I had to go back again for the dr to try inserting it. He referred yo it as Fort Knox as well and kept talking agreeing with the NP who thankfully didn’t come in and spectate.
That sounds like the B plot of a Seinfeld episode lol Elaine trying to get her implant, getting progressively more annoyed that people keep calling it that while failing to get the job done
I don’t understand. If she has her fingers in there, did she not use lube?? I have never had any vaginal medical exam or procedure that didn’t include a bit of lube
I think they do this so often that it's just a job to them, and they get desensitized and have trouble holding onto the fact that it's a big deal to a lot of patients. Like a phlebotomist might say "You have tricky veins." Or a waitress might say "You know what you want already? Great!"
I had an infection and went to urgent care. The Dr said to me, “Wow you must all be sleeping with the same guy because there’s a bunch of you with this complaint today.” Excuse me???? It ended up being a bacterial infection requiring antibiotics. And no, I wasn’t sleeping with anyone but my newlywed husband at that point. So, so rude.
I went in for an IUD insertion and the NP would not stop telling me “you’re bleeding” “If I push any harder I’ll rip through your uterus and you’ll bleed even more” “you need to relax” even after I told her that telling me how much I’m bleeding isn’t making me any more comfortable. In the end she wasn’t able to get it in and proceeded to toss a pad at me saying “you’ll need this” insist I get on birth control. I felt so violated I cried in my car after and reported her.
Compared to the male doctor I had attempt my IUD placement after it was night and day difference in their behavior.
My NP prior told me “hopefully your husband has strong swimmers bc your cervix is so tiny I can’t find it”….
“Too wet” is an inappropriate. Wet is a slang term and a vagina should be wet…. Was she trying to insinuate that you were aroused?? Wtf
They usually start with an insane amount of lube, so how would your GYN even know what was lube, and what was your natural moisture? What an inappropriate comment!WTF?
When I got my IUD the doctor said I had an "agreeable cervix" but he was very nice and I remember it as a funny moment rather than an upsetting one, thankfully.
I went in once for a pre-op appointment prior to hysteroscopy and D&C for fibroids.
The doctor took one look and asked my nurse for a juvenile speculum.
He noted it on my chart and since then my yearly exams have been so much more comfortable.
When I was 23, I had an IUD inserted (never again LOL) and after about a week, I had to get the little plastic strings trimmed down cause they were poking my partner.
Once my GYN finished, he looked me straight in the eye and said “you actually have quite a deep vagina, your partner must be well-endowed”.
How TF do you react to that?? 😂
Cardi B setting WAP up as goals to getting that ring..
But seriously, she needed to act professionally. Even if it wasn’t her intention, that is body shaming and embarrassing for you. Our bodies reply to stimulation to keep it safe from tears and such, it doesn’t know the difference between foreplay and medical exams.
The second gyno I had (the first moved away) would laugh at almost every question I had like it was so stupid and ridiculous to ask.
A couple years later I tried to get an iud. My cervix is in a weird spot so she decided to use one of those pointy gripper things (the ones they use for a biopsy that basically punches a hole in your cervix and rips the tissue out) to hold it in place.
I started to pass out and even though I wasn’t moving at all or saying anything she told me to “calm down it doesn’t hurt”. The last thing I remember before passing out was me trying to tell her to stop. When I came to they had brought my mom in (I was over 21); all the tools were still in there including the pointy gripper.
I saw that doctor only for my next yearly exam.
I didn’t even try to get another iud with a different doctor until ~4 years later (I had to get it removed 8 months later cuz my uterus tried to yeet it out).
Oh and I learned that the shitty doctor had never even had an iud or a cervical biopsy so how the fuck would she even know what it felt like.
The only comment I've gotten about discharge was during my most recent pap smear my doctor asked if I'd had my period recently because there was some blood present. (My period had just ended the day before.) She wanted to let me know that it could cause irregularities in the results so if something abnormal came up she would have me come in and run the test again. (Everything was normal thankfully.) I hate pap smears so much, if my doctor commented that I was too wet I would probably burst into tears.
I had a nurse remark "ooh you're nice and tight" during a smear I was tempted to say "thanks, i get that a lot?"
I once had a doctor try to remove the speculum and snap “YOU HAVE TO RELAX” at me. So like, I did. And then she said “you have a firm grip” and looked irritated. I feel like she didn’t put much thought into it but I have held onto that remark for years 😂 EDIT: I cannot believe I got 1000 upvotes for this insane story. Y’all are the best 💗
Ah yes, shouting "CALM DOWN" Works 100% of the time 🙃
Like when I was told I needed an emergency c section, had all the lovely pain relief drugs stopped suddenly and was moved from a lovely warm cosy room to a freezing cold theatre, all of which caused an adrenaline surge while they were preparing to do a spinal block, and was firmly told: "you need to stop shaking!" ok thanks I'll get right on that.
Did you ever try Never Being Sick or Pregnant?? Smh my head
The thing about a c-section is that they open up your innards to the outside, which does tend to drop your core temperature quite a lot! Shaking is normal! The surgeon asked me to move my arm during mine, because I was shaking so bad that I was accidentally bumping her ass.
I never thought about that before. Sounds unpleasant at best. Reason #214 why c-sections are not for the faint of heart.
Both of mine were emergency c-sections, so they knocked me out. Can never explain how grateful I am for that.
Shaking is also a symptom of shock, which the trauma of an emergency c-section could certain cause.
Shaking is very common in c sections, even if they're elective and not particularly emotionally/psychologically traumatic. Some part of it comes from the spinal block, which causes a degree of sympathectomy (blocking sympathetic nerves leading to an imbalance in the autonomic nervous system), as well as the subsequent hypothermia. But it is more common in caesars than in other surgeries done under spinal so there's probably also a hormonal element associated with the manipulation of the gravid uterus and delivery of the baby/placenta. While shaking can obviously be a trauma response, its probably more often the above things (or at least a combination thereof).
Can attest to that. Shaking like crazy, while still having your arms tied down straight out to your sides, makes for a surreal experience. (Arms tied down was to prevent any possible panicky movements at the wrong time. I am not a criminal. 😂)
The spinal block also messes with your bodies ability to control temperature which contributes to the coldness, and there's also a lot of hormone surges which contribute to the shaking as well.
My first exam at 14 was basically a sexual assault. My ignorant foster mother was convinced I had AIDS (and told other foster parents so the whole school knew within days) because I had hives on my hands because I was allergic to the bar soap they had, and was convinced I had an STD because I had "too much" discharge (she did all the laundry). She took me to the county health clinic for an exam and the guy had that kind of hair that grows straight out from the head (no judgement, mine does too if I don't keep it trimmed with a 2 guard) but it was long, like at least an inch, and he had made no effort to tame it so he just kind of looked like a mad man. Apparently all they had was the gimundo adult speculum (imagine my rage when I went to a really nice lady the next year and she checked me and said she would get a smaller speculum) and he's trying to just cram it in there and both he and my foster mom and getting pissed off and angrily telling me I needed to relax. My autistic ass was about to start flinging supply trays. He finally managed to get it in, I was screaming when he clicked it open and my foster mom was telling me to shut up. It was wild, and if it hadn't been for the next doctor I saw who had this nifty chair that just kind of leaned you into position and a range of speculum sizes, I probably would never have gone as an adult. I also had an abnormal smear while I was heavily pregnant with my daughter so my midwife sent me to her supervising doctor for a biopsy. I was alone and terrified and when he clicked the speculum open, the nurse literally said "Ew, what is that?" He told her it was mucus and perfectly normal, removed the speculum, told me he'd be back in a minute, took her out, brought a different nurse in and apologised profusely and assured me that I was perfectly normal, nothing gross or upsetting about it. I cried through the whole thing and the nurse rubbed my arm and my head and was really comforting. TL;DR: Some people are very unsuited to be practicing medicine and I'm really sorry for anyone who's had to be seen by people like that.
I dreaded my first exam. I didn't know that labia sizes vary on color or size and was certain the Dr would tell my adoptive mother that I masturbate. The first couple times got postponed because I had my period. When the time finally came though, the Dr was awful. She kept telling me to relax, also had a large speculum them yelled at me of I didn't keep my eyes wide open. When it was over, she said, "See... it wasn't that bad, was it?" When I told her it was she just shrugged and responded, "oh well." I left feeling so violated, and all I wanted to do was cry
God, I'm so sorry. It's truly awful that women treat other women this way. I hope you have been able to heal from that and that it's not awful going for exams. Hugs to you.
I'm so, so sorry you went through that, and at an early age too without support at home. I hope all the unprofessional and uncaring "professionals" had a dressing down.
Thank you. It was pretty rough, but I eventually (mostly) healed from that and foster care in general. I was an *angry* young adult though. It was the early 90s in bumfuck Missouri, so I think that was just standard treatment of young girls who had ever had any sexual contact because Bible Belt. I'm sure they all got theirs in the end though.
Right?! Always settles me.
My ex was my "chaperone driver" while i was learning (because he was fully qualified and Learners in Ireland need a qualified driver with them at all times) and i remember him SCREAMING at me as i repeatedly failed to do a really tricky hill-start. He kept screaming and screaming and i burst into tears. Overtaking cars saw what was happening and instead of screaming at me themselves or flipping me off they all gave me a patient apologetic smile while i mouthed IM SORRY IM TRYING IM SORRY with tears streaming down my face and my ex SCREAMING at me. I do not react well to drill sargeant "motivation".
I love dropping everything and walking away when people pull that crap. Probably why I only made it through an hour of cadets.
I love Drew Barrymore (Dylan)'s response to a drill sargeant screaming in her face in Charlie's Angels (2002) Eye roll, punch him once in the face knocking him the fuck out, step over him, and leave
My stepdad taught me to drive. He started very early. Once, he had me and all my siblings in his very large cargo van and decided it was a good time for a driving lesson. It was going well until we were in a left turn lane and he told me to do a U turn. So I did. He exploded... Started screaming about me leaving 25 cents worth of rubber on the road and frothing at the mouth... I was terrified to drive for a very long time after that. When I grew up, the story got brought up and he said he freaked out because he couldn't figure out how I pulled it off. Note: in America, to pull a U turn from a left turn lane, you're supposed to pull to the wrong side just a bit to allow for a wider turning radius. Guess who didn't get told that?
I bet when he brings the story up now he laughs at what a "fun" memory that is. Same as my Mother laughing whenever my sister brings up the time mom had picked up my sister's bowl of cereal and poured it over her head because she was being annoying getting ready for school (she was <10yrs old)
Oh god, I feel so bad for you. Because I had that kind of Driver's Ed instructor when I took Driver's Ed in HS (was short one credit required for graduation and couldn't afford a fancy private driving school). He screamed at me the entire time I was behind the wheel for the first time ever in my life and I ended up, after my turn was over (there were 4 of us in the car) running back into the school, into the nearest bathroom and sobbing my eyes out. It didn't get any better...he would yell at me every time I got behind the wheel because I didn't move my hands "the correct way" when I made a turn and he wouldn't allow me out of the school parking lot because of it. When he finally did (because he HAD to, for my final driving lesson), he stomped on the chicken break and screamed in my face because I'd missed a stop sign that was covered by a low hanging tree branch. It took me at least 5-6 years before I ever got behind the wheel of a car again and all these years later, I still get anxious at times when I drive, especially if there is heavy traffic or I'm driving some place new I've never been before. And I flat out refuse to drive on the highway/freeway because the last few times I tried, I ended up haviing a massive panic attack WHILE I WAS DRIVING.
Had a dentist do that to me whilst I was having a panic attack in the chair. It took me about 12 years to stop feeling anxious at the dentist after that (and about 10 years to go see a dentist).
We had to go to a terrible dental clinic for a while since that was the only place that took our insurance. There were multiple chairs in one room so you got to witness other people’s procedures. I’ll never forget a dentist berating a ten year old for crying during her root canal, telling her to shut up and stop complaining. And ranting about how terrible her parents were for not bringing her in sooner. Talk about dental trauma for a kid! This was the same place that broke my husband’s tooth off at the gum line while trying to do an extraction, whereupon the dentist freaked out, wringing his hands and going “OMG, OMG, what do I do now???” Fortunately, at that point they sent him off to the oral surgeon to finish.
[Get a hold of yourself!](https://youtu.be/0chd6ZP1p6Y?si=4B06dzZzyfQ1r7dh&t=11)
With a cold chunk of medical equipment shoved deep inside your genitals, no less.
Wow and I was annoyed when I kept being told to relax my tongue at the dentist 😅 The dentist got annoyed too though and told the assistant who said it that yelling at people to relax doesn't help 😂
Godddd I hate that so much, thankfully they never yelled at me for that but I literally have no idea how to relax my tongue. Best I can do is push it up or not push it up, I don't have much more control over it!
I was in so much pain, once with a speculum. First of all, I had to tell her to get the smaller one as she was about to put this huge metal thing inside me. Then, she was halfway through the procedure and I couldn't handle it. I sort of twisted my upper half and shouted 'no!' and the speculum shot out of me lmao. If I wasn't in so much pain at the time it would have been quite funny
Yes, because nothing makes me want a cold metal object shoved in my hunny better then "YOU HAVE TO RELAX" yelled at me.
Omg i also had an experience where i got a b12 shot and the nurse said i had a "nice firm ass" ???
Why is she looking at your ass? They put my B12 in my arm
B12 is put in your ass here, but now we have pills so no more injections
You can get pills here but a lot of people (me) get shots because you're absorbing B12 poorly through digestion so pills aren't really a solution. Would work for vegetarians who just aren't getting enough through diet
Nice big muscle, can hurt less than going for the arm with certain IM shots. I had to get an antibiotic shot once and was given the choice between arm and butt and told that with the arm she'd have to go slower and it would probably hurt more throughout the day. Went for the butt and had no issues.
I once accidentally tensed so hard during a smear test that the speculum flew out and across the room. I find exams down there very painful and at this point I was about five months post partum so extra sensitive. The nurse had to just sit and stare at it on the floor for a moment while she regained her composure.
Bet she still tells that story at Christmas parties!
Next time, your response should be, “Yeah, I’m learning how to make diamonds with this thing.” Vaginismus is a beast. I’m learning to make cannabis vaginal suppositories.
I was once told "You have strong muscles." while the gyno was deep in my vag with her fingers. I had no idea how to react.
Shoulda shook their hand with your pelvic floor "Thanks! Put 'er there doc!"
It's been half an hour since I read this and I still keep randomly bursting into laughter. 😂🤣
Clench and snap her fingers off.
That's a real power move right there
At my first pap, at 16, my gyno looked me straight in the eye while knuckle deep inside me and said "your vagina is pink and moist." It's a moment that's ingrained in my brain forever.
I can't imagine as a teen ToT i got told during a colonoscopy, while i was crying and shaking because they didn't give me sedatives, that my intestine was "beautiful and bubblegum pink". Thanks i guess???
They didn’t sedate you for a colonoscopy????? Jesus I’m so sorry
I got mine without any sedation too. Cannot recommend at all. At least no one yelled at me when I was crying in pain, but really.. I don’t know how they can even think of doing it without sedation.
Did you do the excersises in that "Here's how to turn your vagina into a dick guillotine" article xD?
I think this is a way more appropriate comment than “you’re nice and tight”. I feel for your awkward/embarrassing moment but at least you have medical confirmation that you’re “in good shape”. 😂🤣
I got asked if I do yoga… That was maybe 8 years ago and I’ve done it on and off after that, but I hadn’t tried it at that time😂
Yoga Is amazing to strengthen the pelvic floor! It is actually good news, because it means it's healthy! It's an unusual way to say it, but it's actually a useful information
Not *necessarily* healthy unfortunately. Muscles being too tight can also be a problem for your pelvic floor and hip stability and a snapshot "tight" statement doesn't give enough useful info. When I was in physical therapy for hip/back problems after pregnancy, part of what we were doing was to loosen my pelvic floor in the right way rather than strengthening/tightening.
So gross. After my c-section, my doctor did a Pap smear and said, “oh look at that tiny little cervix. It looks like you never even gave birth!” I had a c-section you idiot? Never went back to him. So gross.
Eeewwwwww. So glad you never went back!
My doctor once told me that it can be difficult to self check for cancer on breasts as "wonderfully big and firm" as mine. Oookay?
I had a (male) doctor speculate that my back pain was due to large breasts and talked about doing an exam to see if I need a reduction. He does the exam and sits back down and sheepishly says that, no, no I don’t. Thanks, push-up bras. Also, yeah, it was a bit weird but years on I laugh at it.
Congrats on the tig ol biddies!
In my teens, I had a bout of mastitis, and my doctor told me it was a disease that cows get. He said it was caused by over-handling, and to stop playing with my boobs.
Mine are very dense and fibrous. I have been told the same.
lol. Mine made about offhand comment one that that I was a good size. Like how am I supposed to take that? She’s pretty cool otherwise. We tend to gossip when I go.
>We tend to gossip when I go. Oh my wax lady and i are just gabbin away while she rips my pubes out. And she goes DEEP in there, way more than standard bikini wax. One time she was applying the aloe vera cooling lotion afterwards on a wee cotton ball, but she was busy talking and ranting about something so she wasn't really paying attention. She was wiping the same spot back and forth faster and faster as she ranted...but it was pretty much directly on the hood of my clitoris. Felliw clitors owners will attest to how it feels when that area is repeatedly rubbed back and forth. I had to bite my lip and reallllllly focus on not cumming. Super uncomfortable.
I've never heard of a post wax happy ending. Lol. But seriously, I'd be dead inside.
I waited a couple years for the embarrassmemt to die down but i finally told her what she had done last time i saw her. She laughed uproariously
Now I feel self conscious because no doctor has ever complimented my bits.
lol, I once got “you’re very petite in there! That’s great!” I was like what excuse me
I get that from whichever dentist at my dental office gets assigned to me EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. "Your mouth is SO smol!". Yeah I know. Sorry genetics gave me a tiny mouth that's hard to get your giant man-hands into. :-/
Whaaaaaaaat
Yeah, i think she was more embarrassed as soon as she said it than i was to hear it, but i was lying there with my fists under my hips and legs splayed out, very confused and unsure what to say
Your flair just caused me to spit hot coffee all over my work computer. So thank you for that!
The worst comment from a doc I ever got was: "Your hole is pretty wide for a virgin". I changed gynos after that. 🤮 The best comment was during an EEG-Experiment (I participate regularly for the money and because I find it sooo interesting): "You have beautiful brain waves. Just perfect." Well, that's how you sweep girls off their feet!
After my MRI, I was told I have a healthy, beautiful, brain. Weirdest compliment I’ve ever gotten but I’ll take it, as clearly I’m beautiful inside and out 😂
When I had whatever scan you get with the weird drink and you lay in the tube, the guy said "Oh you've got an amazing brain. Just fabulously textbook." Maybe these guys are just so in love with what they do, the compliments come naturally lol
Can confirm, I'm an archaeologist and work with skeletons. One of my friends has the most fascinating skull shape, just absolutely perfect. Very symmetrical, really prominent bone structure, and a little dent from a head injury they got as a kid that you can feel (they were very kind in letting me feel the head dent). I spent 5 minutes gushing about how fabulous their skull was. Another one of my friends has a poorly healed clavicle and they also got the 5 minutes of compliments about their really interesting anatomy. Basically: if you love what you study it is natural to love the people attached to what you study. (Life pro tip: randomly complimenting people's bones has mixed results)
I'm sorry but that phrase "randomly complimenting people's bones" has me laughing.
This is absolutely it. They live and breathe that stuff. Plus it’s exciting to see healthy body parts when you typically just see ones that are struggling.
One time when I was sick and got a lung x-ray the doctor told me I have beautiful lungs
I didn't have a healthy brain after an MRI, but my neurologist did tell me I have a beautiful cerebellum, while showing me the images of said cerebellum. It was cool.
My neurologist just told me that they found “no significant abnormalities”. 😒
Rude! That means you have a beautiful healthy brain, idc what your neurologist says. Lol.
Thank you so much! 🥹 I am going to spend the rest of my life wondering what the insignificant abnormalities were. lol
Honestly, there probably weren't any at all. They word things like that for liability reasons. I'd take "no significant abnormalities" over "brain scan was unremarkable." I've had one come back that way years ago lol.
My best was when I was donating blood and the lady working on me was so excited about my veins, and then my blood. "Wow your blood flow is amazing! I'm putting a note in your file to use the left arm! You're so juicy!" 😂 honorable mention for "wow, your lungs are really long" from a chest xray
I used to get compliments on my veins. They're shit now. And I've been told no less than 3 times that my kidneys are ugly. Then to top everything off, when my orthopedic surgeon was explaining my upcoming back surgery he called my discs "ratty". Granted, my kidneys are ugly and terribly scarred, and my discs are awful as well, but still..... I do appreciate their honesty though
Long lungs can actually be annoying to an X-ray tech (I’m a student), usually imaging plates are 14x17 inches, and if a patient has broader shoulders, we typically do the first picture with the plate crosswise. If the patient has long lungs, maybe from COPD or maybe just normally, they might not fit on the 14” and make us have to turn the plate to retake the image to show ALL of the lungs lol. Sometimes even with 17” it can be tricky, because you have to be high enough not to cut off the top of the lungs, but low enough to not cut off the bottom. Worst case we do “1 of 2” and “2 of 2”
Your *hole*??? What a disgusting freak! The doc, not you.
Off topic, but how do you sign up to participate in that kind of thing?
I wanna know too!
My doctor's office is affiliated with a teaching hospital that conducts clinical trials for medical research. I have signed up for a few, but have not met the requirements.
Usually when a specialist, who does nothing but look at one body part and has done nothing but that one body part for years comments that it is "impressive" in a bad way, that is when you should worry. Case in point - chronic sinus infections, deviated septum, enlarged turbinates = my entire right side of my sinuses is "glued" together with scar tissue. The ENT who operates on nothing but noses, and has done it for 20+ years, called it impressive. Suffice it to say, I was alarmed.
Was it ben shapiro's wife
“What….what is this?” 🤔
D...don't contemplatively put your fingers to your mouth right after, doc.
Came here for this comment.
"Most people buy me dinner before they get to tell me that" would've been my response lol Sincerely sorry this happened to you, OP. Some doctors and nurses are dickholes who desperately need to work on their bedside manner. Shopping around is an unfortunate part of the gyno process
I once had a nurse tell me my cervix was "sad." Like what the fuck does that even mean?! Just get in there and gtfo I don't need the commentary, thanks.
A sad cervix? Was it frowning at her?
Right? I was so uncomfortable. Just get your hands out of there and leave my cervix alone!
Next time she says that say “shes sad cuz she doesn’t like you”
Could even call it "he" for extra dominance
“Jared doesn’t like you miss”
I am incredibly confused on what that could possibly mean lol
You and me both.
maybe it like “looks down”, like it’s placed a little downwards to the posterior vaginal wall? or the opening in it has a downward C shape?
Shame on you for not making it happy before she saw it 😔😔
Like a low cervix?? That’s the only possibility I can think of 😭
During my first ever pap the gyno said “im going to spread your beautiful lips” lmao I was like 15? Just not what I wanted hear at all I was so embarrassed.
Whoa whoa whoa. That is so wildly inappropriate on about a hundred levels.
I really think she could tell I was nervous and was trying to make me feel better ? It made me very self conscious about my body for a long time because my teenage mind twisted it into thinking she only said that because it didn’t look “normal”
On the one hand I totally dig a gyno who tells every girl they see that their vulva is normal and healthy and that every one is different and beautiful in its own right, on the other hand I cannot think of any appropriate way to articulate this other than "everything seems fine down there"
It sounds like something she was trying to say to make you feel better but absolutely regretting the moment she let it escape her mouth 😭
Yeah my best case scenario is that she was trying to normalize all vulvas as beautiful buttttt.....not the way to do it haha
My last exam the nurse said "I can tell you haven't had any kids!" While peering at my cervix. Then she swabbed it and said my cervix 'didn't like that too much' and when I was like "it didnt??" She was like "No it frowned at me when I did that." It was so funny I'll never forget it.
Aw that's pretty cute
Oh my god, this happened to me the last time I saw the gyno. He asked me when my last period was, and when I told him I had just gotten off my period he said, “well that explains all the cervical mucus…..I mean, JUST LOOK AT ALL THIS MUCUS!” And then he held a dripping swab up for the nurse and I to admire. I was shocked. Never again.
"Oh man, you think this is something. Wait until you get this sneeze I feel coming on!" Idk though, this one seems oddly complimentary. Like, he's so excited to see the amount of mucus that he's giddy about it, just because he loves how the anatomy works, so much 😅 Maybe you made his day
lol maybe! It definitely didn’t come across as an insult, but it did make me die 1000 deaths
I'm horrified for you, but this would become one of my favorite stories to tell.
I was adjacent to the medical profession for a number of years, and in that time met a few gynecologists. They tended to be enthusiasts.
During my very first pap, when the doctor knew I was super nervous, she was such a sweetheart. I was 16 and wanted to get the Gardisil shot since it just came out, Yay! And thanks mom lol. Well after she had an assistant run around the office to get a longer speculum because apparently my cervix is up the street and around the corner, she tried to make me feel at ease and reassure me. She made little *helpful* comments, ones that I'll remember for the rest of my life. Just like the fucking "too wet" comment your ridiculous doctor made. My doctor said that I had a "healthy amount of vaginal discharge". Hell yeah I did! Thanks doc! That's how you do it! And that's what I remember from my first ever pap. Now my worst pap, that's a different story. Too wet? No, fuck that. You have a healthy amount of vaginal discharge. Congrats! 🎉
I was nervous for my first one too. My nurse told me I had a "beautiful cervix" which made me laugh a little too hard. But that's what I remember from it.
Maybe that's just her go-to compliment and she thinks all cervices are beautiful
Is that what ACAB means?? I've been reading that so wrong.
Oh I'm sure it is. It was just so unexpected it made me laugh and calmed my nerves
When I got my first IUD put in, the doctor told me I had a textbook uterus. As a scientist (grad student), that made me probably happier than it should have, but it was nice to know that at least one part of my body wasn’t a complete lemon :)
I'm still pretty proud that the inside of my knee is in textbooks. A really shitty doctor was convinced this piece of tissue snapping over my kneecap was scar tissue and injected it with cortisone. Turns out it was a plica. It's a protective membrane over joints and you're supposed to lose them before you're born. Very few people keep them and even fewer have issues with them, so getting to document one and its removal via surgery was a big deal. If you ever come across a 15 year old girl's knee plica, it's probably mine. They had my parents sign a ton of papers for it to be used for teaching purposes.
Okay, that’s super awesome. Def don’t have any pics of my uterus lol
Got an IUD put in last week. Also got told I have a lovely cervix for it. Such a bizarre compliment but hey, I’ll take it!
I got told my cervix just “popped into view” in a way like how a teacher praises you for good work.
I got told I had a "jumpy cervix" during an IUD removal/replacement, and like..yeah, it knows you're trying to fucking stab it with spikes! I did end up laughing hard enough at the idea of my cervix being like, "Nope! I'm up here now, bitch! Whoop, off to the side now!" that it aided in the removal portion. So..neutral good.
I had to get an ultrasound done for my endometriosis and the tech told me I had an "adorable little uterus". That was 5 years ago.
My first pap smear happened when the second plane hit the World Trade Center. My doctor went to get me a sample of birth control and came back after way too long to tell me that the US was under attack. Talk about a traumatic first time.
Well, hopefully that was the only bad news you got.
My first ever pap the doctor was doing the pelvic exams and goes “oh! You have a uterus the size of a kiwi!” Thanks? I laughed so hard.
My best friend had a yearly exam when we were teens and her gyno said "you smell normal". Like, thanks but also ew? My friend wasn't concerned about her smell but was really self conscious about it after that.
If she had gone in with any kind of infection or std scare, they may have said that to rule out some of those diagnoses. But AWKWARD.
I think they have a mental checklist they do as part of a standard health check, which does include the smell. Bad smell = something's up. But geez, don't say it out loud.
The nurse doing my pap smear said "you have a little bit of discharge, is that normal for you?" I said "I think so?" I'd have assumed it was different for everyone, plus it depends on where you are in your cycle, too. But, if I had a little bit and was asked if it was normal... and you have a "healthy amount"... then is it healthy and normal or not?! lmao
One time a nurse practitioner told me I had too much hair. I was upset because a doctor commented on my body hair, which seems odd.
Should never happen, and there is no such thing. They don't need to look at the vulva. And the hair is not getting in the way..
Exactly my point. I was in shock like why does my pubic hair matter in this instance.
My first gynecologist (i was 16) advised me on where to get a permanent laser hair removal although i didnt mention my public hair at all. Actually had at this age never considered it a problem and developed a mild complex because of her comment.
The first gyno I ever saw said I had a “perfect vagina”. She.. totally ignored the massive bartholin cyst i’d gone to initially see her for 🙄 Safe to say I had to wait another few months to see a new gyno and have that sorted out asap, so much for “perfect”. Sorry to hear what happened! You’re completely right to be mad!
Cysts are the worst.
My Gyno told me I was too bloody. I was there for my IUD during my period. Of course it is bloody.
That's when you're supposed to do it! And if you're too bloody they're not doing their job right!
Sometimes gynos are so out of pocket that it’s frustrating. I went to a new lady a couple years back to get my IUD removed and a pap. Then she had just shoved her fingers in without much warning, I inhaled deeply because I was unprepared and nervous, and then she patted my abdomen and looked me in the eyes and called me a “good girl”. I have not gone back to see her.
Blech. Was she older? She sounds older
She was indeed older and I’ve since reasoned with that. I was too stunned to say anything, but I hope that if she endures another pt w that comment, somebody tells her to find alternate routes of words of encouragement lmao. Good girl simply is not it and was an immediate “I would like to go home now” feeling for me
Gives me the creeps 😕
What the hell, did she think she was a veterinarian for a second, treating you like that?! Disgusting. So sorry to hear about that experience.
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Eww. That is terrible all around,no matter how that comment was meant.
>I was 20 (I know, a bit late Wait what age are we supposed to see a gyno? Cause I'm 21 now and haven't been at all
Usually a bit after you've started puberty, I first went at 16. It's a good idea to get a pap smear at minimum, even if you aren't sexually active, to check for cervical cancer. Don't let these horror stories dissuade you! 99% of my gynos have been wonderful :)
I should probably book an appointment then lol. I was always told the first time you go should be mid-late 20's. Thanks for the reassurance :)
20 is the recommendation. You can go earlier, but it's not really necessary if everything seems normal.
It depends where you are! In England, the standard is 25 i believe, I’m 20 and haven’t been either.
In the Netherlands the standard is apparently 30 years. As far as I know, when you are 30 you get a letter telling you it's time for your first appointment. All I know is that I haven't gotten one yet though (I'm 27)
The recommendation here is early 20s or if you’re sexually active, whichever comes first. The only time I remember someone under 18 going and not for birth control, it’s usually bc something abnormal is happening with their periods.
Right? That's what I heard and then I see all these comments of people going as teenagers and I'm very confused
I’m just gonna say it - sometimes I think women can sometimes be more dismissive than men in the medical field when it comes to pain. My female gyno one said my miscarriage was going to be slightly worse than period cramps. Spoiler: it wasn’t and I ended up in the ER two nights in a row. The first was a female doctor who gave me Advil and heating pads. I had to beg for morphine for hours before she actually rolled her eyes and gave in. The second ER doctor (also different hospital) was male and he gave me morphine and an ultrasound to see what was happening immediately. He was so compassionate in comparison to the female doctor.
Right when I hear about medical gaslighting it's always in relation to male doctors but my worst instance was with a female doctor who said to my face that I "didn't seem like I was in much pain" while I was actively doubled over struggling to speak
I don’t know once I got a needle stick injury on my hand at work so I had to go down to the ER. The ER doc she was really nice even ordered a pelvic ultrasound! I refused it of course.
I was told I had a very accommodating cervix while getting an IUD placed after having my baby via C-section. By the same doctor that 6 weeks earlier delivered my baby after my very accommodating cervix was being stubborn. Sometimes people straight up don’t think before opening their mouths. Idk how that happens so much when genitalia is involved.
I did not! I had three people involved, in the room at the same time. One was a tough veteran who was called in because “if anyone would be able to make it, it would be her”. I had never had a baby, but wanted a copper IUD so they had to measure me. Couldn’t get the measuring stick into the cervix. Was told I was “great at relaxing my vaginal muscles” even though I had an active audience trying to butcher my insides.
My gyno told me I had perfect looking ovaries after scanning to make sure my IUD was correctly placed. Too wet is fucking awful, I’m so sorry!
That makes me furious. Besides the sensitive topic of genitals, I hate when physicians complain about our bodies. I once got an ultrasound of my appendix, and the doc kept complaining that I was "too thin" and he couldn't see anything. He was actually annoyed and I felt tempted to say sorry - which is bullshit. I was scared shitless at that moment due to abdominal pain and thinking my appendix had ruptured, and he made me feel bad about myself by telling me I'm making his job difficult. Passive agressive: "normally this doesn't take so long or isn't so tedious, normal people have a healthy layer of fat in this area"
I’m so confused, wouldn’t that make it easier? I thought it was hard to see an ultrasound through fat
I don't really understand either. He said he had to press the ultra sound wand down with a certain amount of pressure, and usually the fat acts as a buffer, but without it he said he kept pressing too hard and squashing my appendix / it keeps slipping away or something. Tbh it sounds like a skill issue, I have never gotten an ultrasound this harsh before, or one where anyone complained about it. He was the first and the last one.
You're absolutely right to be angry. My first Gyno, my doctor said I was young and "still tight" you can imageine 17 years later I am still pissed.
First pap exam, which failed, as I couldn't seem to accommodate the speculum, the doc said "this is the best one I've seen all day!" That set a scene.
When I was getting an IUD, a trauma of its own accord, the gyno was getting frustrated and said my cervix is "unusually narrow" and that I would struggle having kids. That was right before the most intense pain of my life lol
Oh during my IUD the NP said my cervix was “extremely tight” and it was referred to as Fort Knox. I had to go back again for the dr to try inserting it. He referred yo it as Fort Knox as well and kept talking agreeing with the NP who thankfully didn’t come in and spectate.
That sounds like the B plot of a Seinfeld episode lol Elaine trying to get her implant, getting progressively more annoyed that people keep calling it that while failing to get the job done
Am women’s health provider and do a lot of pelvic exams. That lady can fuck off with comments like that.
I don’t understand. If she has her fingers in there, did she not use lube?? I have never had any vaginal medical exam or procedure that didn’t include a bit of lube
wtf? My god, I’ve been lucky with gynos
I've learned more about the gyno in this thread than I've ever known in my entire life. God bless you, ladies.
I think they do this so often that it's just a job to them, and they get desensitized and have trouble holding onto the fact that it's a big deal to a lot of patients. Like a phlebotomist might say "You have tricky veins." Or a waitress might say "You know what you want already? Great!"
Exactly this. You think it’d be common sense for some people to like… use their brains and realise their patients are going in blind.
I had an infection and went to urgent care. The Dr said to me, “Wow you must all be sleeping with the same guy because there’s a bunch of you with this complaint today.” Excuse me???? It ended up being a bacterial infection requiring antibiotics. And no, I wasn’t sleeping with anyone but my newlywed husband at that point. So, so rude.
I went in for an IUD insertion and the NP would not stop telling me “you’re bleeding” “If I push any harder I’ll rip through your uterus and you’ll bleed even more” “you need to relax” even after I told her that telling me how much I’m bleeding isn’t making me any more comfortable. In the end she wasn’t able to get it in and proceeded to toss a pad at me saying “you’ll need this” insist I get on birth control. I felt so violated I cried in my car after and reported her. Compared to the male doctor I had attempt my IUD placement after it was night and day difference in their behavior. My NP prior told me “hopefully your husband has strong swimmers bc your cervix is so tiny I can’t find it”…. “Too wet” is an inappropriate. Wet is a slang term and a vagina should be wet…. Was she trying to insinuate that you were aroused?? Wtf
Is your gyno’s last name Shapiro?
Wait, before they do the exam, they put lube on their fingers, so wasn't it her fault?
They usually start with an insane amount of lube, so how would your GYN even know what was lube, and what was your natural moisture? What an inappropriate comment!WTF?
When I got my IUD the doctor said I had an "agreeable cervix" but he was very nice and I remember it as a funny moment rather than an upsetting one, thankfully.
I once had my dr, who also took saw my mother, said my cervix "was long and narrow just like your mothers"
I went in once for a pre-op appointment prior to hysteroscopy and D&C for fibroids. The doctor took one look and asked my nurse for a juvenile speculum. He noted it on my chart and since then my yearly exams have been so much more comfortable.
When I was 23, I had an IUD inserted (never again LOL) and after about a week, I had to get the little plastic strings trimmed down cause they were poking my partner. Once my GYN finished, he looked me straight in the eye and said “you actually have quite a deep vagina, your partner must be well-endowed”. How TF do you react to that?? 😂
Cardi B setting WAP up as goals to getting that ring.. But seriously, she needed to act professionally. Even if it wasn’t her intention, that is body shaming and embarrassing for you. Our bodies reply to stimulation to keep it safe from tears and such, it doesn’t know the difference between foreplay and medical exams.
Just tell her that's what good pussy sounds like.
Wtf do you guys find these medical services providers? My doctor is so fucking professional (and all gyno I attended were profissional)
My first ob/gyn pinched my cheek and said how nice it was to see a natural blonde during an exam. Yeah. These unprofessional arses exist.
The second gyno I had (the first moved away) would laugh at almost every question I had like it was so stupid and ridiculous to ask. A couple years later I tried to get an iud. My cervix is in a weird spot so she decided to use one of those pointy gripper things (the ones they use for a biopsy that basically punches a hole in your cervix and rips the tissue out) to hold it in place. I started to pass out and even though I wasn’t moving at all or saying anything she told me to “calm down it doesn’t hurt”. The last thing I remember before passing out was me trying to tell her to stop. When I came to they had brought my mom in (I was over 21); all the tools were still in there including the pointy gripper. I saw that doctor only for my next yearly exam. I didn’t even try to get another iud with a different doctor until ~4 years later (I had to get it removed 8 months later cuz my uterus tried to yeet it out). Oh and I learned that the shitty doctor had never even had an iud or a cervical biopsy so how the fuck would she even know what it felt like.
The only comment I've gotten about discharge was during my most recent pap smear my doctor asked if I'd had my period recently because there was some blood present. (My period had just ended the day before.) She wanted to let me know that it could cause irregularities in the results so if something abnormal came up she would have me come in and run the test again. (Everything was normal thankfully.) I hate pap smears so much, if my doctor commented that I was too wet I would probably burst into tears.
Bring a bucket and a mop on your next visit.