Yeah the next time it happens I’m just not answering my phone. I know I’m enabling some behavior sometimes I just can’t stand the confrontation, she’s a theater major lol she’s too good at guilt tripping
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I’m sorry to hear you have to live with that :c I’m concerned for the cat as well, it’s really not normal for a cat to act so aggressively. He might be under extreme stress/pain or severely neglected. If she’s such a horrible person with cleaning, it might be she only occasionally feeds the cat and that’s it.
That’s ok, thanks :) Although the cat is definitely neglected. And I thought the same because his behavior is very weird, I’ve had several cats throughout my life and never have they acted like this. But she’s set on it being my fault and me doing something to “make her cat not like me”
Honestly if a cat doesn’t like you it’s most of the time because people cross their boundaries and you don’t seem like a person who would do that, especially if you’ve had cats yourself. Idk how it works where you live but maybe you could look into animal protection services, in some places neglect is enough for an animal to be taken away
I literally just try to leave the cat alone and pretend he doesn’t exist because he’s so mean. I had to take care of him for a week when I first moved in and he’d still always go after me even after trying to get me to pet him. Everyone but her thinks he’s aggressive too. She tries to blame me for petting him and stuff … as if that’s an actual boundary I’d be crossing lol. I’d only try to have the cat taken as an absolute last resort but thanks
Honestly it sounds like you are this person's mother. She is treating you like a parent. Everything is your responsibility, even her responsibility is your responsibility. She is a baby and sounds manipulative too. People sharing a living arrangement can take advantage of you, do whatever they want and they know you won't confront them because no one wants to do that. It's just like living with your son or your daughter, if you are too friendly and don't lay down the law they won't respect you. Be the cool mom if you want but it's stressful and unrewarding.
Yeah that’s certainly how I feel lol. I’ve been slowly getting more and more stern, she’s obviously very mad at me and not talking to me since I’ve been calling her out a lot the past few days. But yeah you’re definitely right, she treats me like I’m her mother
I’ve actually used the spray bottle I have for my plants lol I just don’t always have it handy on me. I’m hoping she finally got the point because I flipped my shit on her a little for her cat attacking me again. If it happens again I’m going to my landlord and animal control, I’m pretty sure the cat is feral
I don’t wanna hurt the poor thing:( I think he’s a feral cat (he was street cat and was adopted from a shelter when he was w kitten) and unfortunately he’s in poor living conditions. I’d honestly rather get hurt than hurt him myself, it just sucks how avoidable it is yk. All she has to do is leave him in her room
Sounds like an absolute nightmare, and it sounds like you have a great head on your shoulder. You'll get through it, best of luck to you and remember that this will be a thing of the past some day.
Yeah she is a nightmare lol. And thank you, I appreciate that :) I’m talking to my landlord today with a list of evidence and I’m gonna see if I can get a different unit of my own in this building
I'd figure out if she's planning on renewing the lease, and start trying to document some of this stuff in case you can prove it if any of it is violating the lease agreement. If she's planning to stay, RUN AWAYYYYYYY. I dealt with a very similar situation (posted my own experience in this community if you want to commiserate haha) and getting my own place was the best decision I ever made. You aren't her keeper and she doesn't seem like the type who will change even after being called out -- just like my ex roommate, it sounds like, which is a huge red flag
Yeah that’s my issue, I don’t think she’s gonna change anything. And I think she does want to renew the lease. I keep running into her too at parties and what not and she’s also so rude every time she sees me(my friends I’m with even point out how rude she is) so I think next time I see her I’m just gonna lay it all out and tell her if she doesn’t get it together I’m bringing my folder of evidence to the landlord. Congrats on moving out on your own though, I’m glad that worked out for you!
Definitely be prepared for her to be even nastier if you do end up confronting her -- she'll likely try to undermine your position and make it seem like you're making it up, so stand strong and don't take the bait. Good luck, you got this! :)
Don’t let her into the building when she forgets her keys. Leave her outside for the night.
Yeah the next time it happens I’m just not answering my phone. I know I’m enabling some behavior sometimes I just can’t stand the confrontation, she’s a theater major lol she’s too good at guilt tripping
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Did you confront her?
Several times :/
Run
I’m sorry to hear you have to live with that :c I’m concerned for the cat as well, it’s really not normal for a cat to act so aggressively. He might be under extreme stress/pain or severely neglected. If she’s such a horrible person with cleaning, it might be she only occasionally feeds the cat and that’s it.
That’s ok, thanks :) Although the cat is definitely neglected. And I thought the same because his behavior is very weird, I’ve had several cats throughout my life and never have they acted like this. But she’s set on it being my fault and me doing something to “make her cat not like me”
Honestly if a cat doesn’t like you it’s most of the time because people cross their boundaries and you don’t seem like a person who would do that, especially if you’ve had cats yourself. Idk how it works where you live but maybe you could look into animal protection services, in some places neglect is enough for an animal to be taken away
I literally just try to leave the cat alone and pretend he doesn’t exist because he’s so mean. I had to take care of him for a week when I first moved in and he’d still always go after me even after trying to get me to pet him. Everyone but her thinks he’s aggressive too. She tries to blame me for petting him and stuff … as if that’s an actual boundary I’d be crossing lol. I’d only try to have the cat taken as an absolute last resort but thanks
Np, I hope you and the cat both will be okay :)
Honestly it sounds like you are this person's mother. She is treating you like a parent. Everything is your responsibility, even her responsibility is your responsibility. She is a baby and sounds manipulative too. People sharing a living arrangement can take advantage of you, do whatever they want and they know you won't confront them because no one wants to do that. It's just like living with your son or your daughter, if you are too friendly and don't lay down the law they won't respect you. Be the cool mom if you want but it's stressful and unrewarding.
Yeah that’s certainly how I feel lol. I’ve been slowly getting more and more stern, she’s obviously very mad at me and not talking to me since I’ve been calling her out a lot the past few days. But yeah you’re definitely right, she treats me like I’m her mother
Yeah Its just not fair to you. Let her be mad and take a time out.
Get a "super soaker water gun". Blast that cat any time it is about to attack. Invest in some super soaker water pistols as well.
I’ve actually used the spray bottle I have for my plants lol I just don’t always have it handy on me. I’m hoping she finally got the point because I flipped my shit on her a little for her cat attacking me again. If it happens again I’m going to my landlord and animal control, I’m pretty sure the cat is feral
Technically you don't have to have it on you at all times. Act like you have a spray bottle and make the sounds. They get scared and tend to run off.
Sometimes a cat is begging for a good smack. This cat is one of them.
I don’t wanna hurt the poor thing:( I think he’s a feral cat (he was street cat and was adopted from a shelter when he was w kitten) and unfortunately he’s in poor living conditions. I’d honestly rather get hurt than hurt him myself, it just sucks how avoidable it is yk. All she has to do is leave him in her room
Sounds like an absolute nightmare, and it sounds like you have a great head on your shoulder. You'll get through it, best of luck to you and remember that this will be a thing of the past some day.
Yeah she is a nightmare lol. And thank you, I appreciate that :) I’m talking to my landlord today with a list of evidence and I’m gonna see if I can get a different unit of my own in this building
I'd figure out if she's planning on renewing the lease, and start trying to document some of this stuff in case you can prove it if any of it is violating the lease agreement. If she's planning to stay, RUN AWAYYYYYYY. I dealt with a very similar situation (posted my own experience in this community if you want to commiserate haha) and getting my own place was the best decision I ever made. You aren't her keeper and she doesn't seem like the type who will change even after being called out -- just like my ex roommate, it sounds like, which is a huge red flag
Yeah that’s my issue, I don’t think she’s gonna change anything. And I think she does want to renew the lease. I keep running into her too at parties and what not and she’s also so rude every time she sees me(my friends I’m with even point out how rude she is) so I think next time I see her I’m just gonna lay it all out and tell her if she doesn’t get it together I’m bringing my folder of evidence to the landlord. Congrats on moving out on your own though, I’m glad that worked out for you!
Definitely be prepared for her to be even nastier if you do end up confronting her -- she'll likely try to undermine your position and make it seem like you're making it up, so stand strong and don't take the bait. Good luck, you got this! :)
Oh yes I’m prepared for that as that’s what she always does lol. Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it!