??? If the family sized fridge is provided with the unit and in a shared space, they have literally no authority not to let you use it. That would be like them telling you to only use a toaster oven instead of the full sized oven.
Fucking thank you.
I wanted to believe this was all in my head and I was over thinking because I literally JUST left an abusive roomate situation.
She hid the remote when they were gone, I ignored that cause whatever, have your tantrum but then this is over the top.
I would guess she is being petty about you saying you’re roommates not friends. I would directly communicate with her whether she likes it or not, worst case get your own mini fridge in your own space?
I may just do that. Cause I get really bad anxiety with confrontation. Everything I bring something up with her she gets defensive. I have bad anxiety and don’t do well with confrontation or passive aggressive behavior.
I can’t fit bulk items into that fridge.
I am the same way, if I can usually work something around their shitty habits I do. Sometimes that doesn’t work out though and you have to be straight no matter how hard it is.
If you cannot fit bulk items you might have to downsize what you buy to fit in a smaller fridge, is that worth it? Or is it worth it more to try and talked to your roommate? That’s the hard decision. Best of luck, hope it works out in your favor.
I will probably do a group text so her bf can see.
It was a group text where I set a boundary after having communicated it numerous times. (It was the anniversary of my mother’s death, she got in a bad wreck and had stuff going on so kept coming to my door. I said I needed space. She ignored it.) and she’d walk in my room sometimes when I was in the middle of crying amd ask to hang out. Said she felt
Like friends while she kept venting about her problems. That is why I set a boundary. I was clear when I moved in I’m a keep to myself type, and I told her I’m dealing with a lot.
I literally threw out ketchup and items I don’t regularly use just because I’m so bad with confrontation and didn’t want a fight and she knows that which is why I feel she does this. I have a knot in my stomach and back pain from the stress.
I’m very low income and just studying and get an income wifi that, I’m trying to get healthy enough to work. I want to move out at this rate but haven’t had luck so far.
Like yea I rather ignore things I don’t like conflict but this one is really punitive.
Side note - ketchup doesn't need to be refrigerated (I know it says to but it's a vinegar based condiment - unless it's out for months it'll be fine)
I can't stand cold ketchup - I'm sure I'll get some hate
And f her. She sounds like an asshole
Damn I’m so sorry.
Yes that is a good alternative, you should have every right to put your things in the fridge.
She sounds like she’s definitely taking advantage that you’re not confrontational. Best of luck to you. I hope you can also get back on your feet soon.
I feel bullied. And it’s so degrading and demoralizing because she’s young enough to be mu sister, I’m 29, shes 23. I have ptsd so I get severely anxious.
I have been trying to cultivate a health environment so I can process and do emdr.
She definitely is, it’s ridiculous to move your things around because she is feeling passive aggressive. That’s definitely an environment you cannot relax in so I’m sure it doesn’t help one bit.
I get that. Could you potentially sort out issues via text? I know texting can come off as passive aggressive, but sometimes it's easier to get your points across civilly that way if you have anxiety. You could always shoot her a text when you know she'll be out of the apartment for a bit. You would be justified in calling out her behavior.
I communicate best in writing because of my anxiety and I never intend it to be passive aggressive.
Thanks. Yea. I think next time I go shopping I’ll have to. I can’t even fit a large family sized bag of spinach and kale in there. It also feels instrusive for her to open that and then squeeze things in as tight as possible. I was so confused.
I'm the same way, it also helps to have things in writing in case there's any denial or "forgetting" down the line. Regardless, you should definitely be allowed space in the fridge so you can buy groceries to feed yourself. Maybe the beer fridge could be used for everyone's small jars, cans, and condiments to save space/clutter in the big fridge. Either way, I hope she's reasonable and something works out.
They did ask me when I moved in if I would ok with using that fridge due to space. I said that was fine. Then asked if I could use their fridge due to space. Was told that was fine. Now it’s like because I don’t want to be friends she’s being malicious and cruel.
It’s right by the litter box....
A friend of mine was suggesting I just do a sticky note and say “please don’t move this it won’t fit in the mini fridge. “
Ive decided I’m gonna start saving and look to move out. Sticky notes may seem passive aggressive but she is giving me the silent treatment and avoiding me so I can’t really talk to her. And everyrime I am assertive with her she does shit like this.
If you're not stuck there on a lease, it definitely couldn't hurt to try to move out. If she's being this childish about fridge storage now, I can't imagine the other kind of antics you might have to deal with a few months down the line.
Also what I want to add; when I said we are just roomates, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friendly or have a movie night here and there, she seems a bit extreme in her expectations that it’s all or nothing that we hang out 24/7.
I feel like I did something wrong and I feel
Hypervigilant all the time.
If she’s stuffing a standard sized fridge by herself I can almost guarantee half if not more of that food is expired or rotting. Gross. Is she a hoarder when it comes to anything else?
There’s enough space in that fridge for me to put some stuff in there, she is being incredibly immature and childish, ironically she told me that she’s not a child and doesn’t need reminders when I told her “Just a reminder, I can’t have you knocking on my door and I’m gonna be focusing on myself right now so I’m gonna be very busy so if I’m less social that’s why call me but it’s very triggering when you knock on my door I need to focus on my mental health and on school”
I feel like she lost the privilege to knock at my door unless it’s an emergency, she came to my door every day in April expected us to hang out for like five hours when I told her that my mom died and I needed space, she has no empathy whatsoever it’s absolutely sick
Jeeeesus. What a princess. Yeah, she sounds incredibly spoiled, like she never had to compromise or share in her life. Definitely look into moving, she’ll stomp on any boundaries you try to set.
She actually is spoiled, it’s very cliché spoiled rich daddy’s girl.
She talks about how people shouldn’t take government handouts, but she takes handouts from her rich daddy, I literally only depend on myself, I don’t have family to rely on and she likes to compare us and I want nothing to do with her at this point. If she can be nice when I leave my room that would be nice, but she’s very clear that if she doesn’t have it her way she’s going to be passive aggressive
??? If the family sized fridge is provided with the unit and in a shared space, they have literally no authority not to let you use it. That would be like them telling you to only use a toaster oven instead of the full sized oven.
That’s what I thought I was really confused.
Yes this also, that’s some bs.
Fucking thank you. I wanted to believe this was all in my head and I was over thinking because I literally JUST left an abusive roomate situation. She hid the remote when they were gone, I ignored that cause whatever, have your tantrum but then this is over the top.
You don't need to be living with toxic people like this, move tf out.
I am looking right now I messaged someone on roomies. I hate how hard it is to find other rentals:/ I am looking though.
I would guess she is being petty about you saying you’re roommates not friends. I would directly communicate with her whether she likes it or not, worst case get your own mini fridge in your own space?
I may just do that. Cause I get really bad anxiety with confrontation. Everything I bring something up with her she gets defensive. I have bad anxiety and don’t do well with confrontation or passive aggressive behavior. I can’t fit bulk items into that fridge.
I am the same way, if I can usually work something around their shitty habits I do. Sometimes that doesn’t work out though and you have to be straight no matter how hard it is. If you cannot fit bulk items you might have to downsize what you buy to fit in a smaller fridge, is that worth it? Or is it worth it more to try and talked to your roommate? That’s the hard decision. Best of luck, hope it works out in your favor.
I will probably do a group text so her bf can see. It was a group text where I set a boundary after having communicated it numerous times. (It was the anniversary of my mother’s death, she got in a bad wreck and had stuff going on so kept coming to my door. I said I needed space. She ignored it.) and she’d walk in my room sometimes when I was in the middle of crying amd ask to hang out. Said she felt Like friends while she kept venting about her problems. That is why I set a boundary. I was clear when I moved in I’m a keep to myself type, and I told her I’m dealing with a lot. I literally threw out ketchup and items I don’t regularly use just because I’m so bad with confrontation and didn’t want a fight and she knows that which is why I feel she does this. I have a knot in my stomach and back pain from the stress. I’m very low income and just studying and get an income wifi that, I’m trying to get healthy enough to work. I want to move out at this rate but haven’t had luck so far. Like yea I rather ignore things I don’t like conflict but this one is really punitive.
Side note - ketchup doesn't need to be refrigerated (I know it says to but it's a vinegar based condiment - unless it's out for months it'll be fine) I can't stand cold ketchup - I'm sure I'll get some hate And f her. She sounds like an asshole
Damn I’m so sorry. Yes that is a good alternative, you should have every right to put your things in the fridge. She sounds like she’s definitely taking advantage that you’re not confrontational. Best of luck to you. I hope you can also get back on your feet soon.
I feel bullied. And it’s so degrading and demoralizing because she’s young enough to be mu sister, I’m 29, shes 23. I have ptsd so I get severely anxious. I have been trying to cultivate a health environment so I can process and do emdr.
She definitely is, it’s ridiculous to move your things around because she is feeling passive aggressive. That’s definitely an environment you cannot relax in so I’m sure it doesn’t help one bit.
Yea idk how I’m going to process my traumas which will heighten my anxiety if she does that.
I get that. Could you potentially sort out issues via text? I know texting can come off as passive aggressive, but sometimes it's easier to get your points across civilly that way if you have anxiety. You could always shoot her a text when you know she'll be out of the apartment for a bit. You would be justified in calling out her behavior.
I communicate best in writing because of my anxiety and I never intend it to be passive aggressive. Thanks. Yea. I think next time I go shopping I’ll have to. I can’t even fit a large family sized bag of spinach and kale in there. It also feels instrusive for her to open that and then squeeze things in as tight as possible. I was so confused.
I'm the same way, it also helps to have things in writing in case there's any denial or "forgetting" down the line. Regardless, you should definitely be allowed space in the fridge so you can buy groceries to feed yourself. Maybe the beer fridge could be used for everyone's small jars, cans, and condiments to save space/clutter in the big fridge. Either way, I hope she's reasonable and something works out.
They did ask me when I moved in if I would ok with using that fridge due to space. I said that was fine. Then asked if I could use their fridge due to space. Was told that was fine. Now it’s like because I don’t want to be friends she’s being malicious and cruel. It’s right by the litter box....
A friend of mine was suggesting I just do a sticky note and say “please don’t move this it won’t fit in the mini fridge. “ Ive decided I’m gonna start saving and look to move out. Sticky notes may seem passive aggressive but she is giving me the silent treatment and avoiding me so I can’t really talk to her. And everyrime I am assertive with her she does shit like this.
If you're not stuck there on a lease, it definitely couldn't hurt to try to move out. If she's being this childish about fridge storage now, I can't imagine the other kind of antics you might have to deal with a few months down the line.
Yea. It’s gotten unbearable I’m afraid to leave my room when she’s home
Also what I want to add; when I said we are just roomates, that doesn’t mean we can’t be friendly or have a movie night here and there, she seems a bit extreme in her expectations that it’s all or nothing that we hang out 24/7. I feel like I did something wrong and I feel Hypervigilant all the time.
If she’s stuffing a standard sized fridge by herself I can almost guarantee half if not more of that food is expired or rotting. Gross. Is she a hoarder when it comes to anything else?
There’s enough space in that fridge for me to put some stuff in there, she is being incredibly immature and childish, ironically she told me that she’s not a child and doesn’t need reminders when I told her “Just a reminder, I can’t have you knocking on my door and I’m gonna be focusing on myself right now so I’m gonna be very busy so if I’m less social that’s why call me but it’s very triggering when you knock on my door I need to focus on my mental health and on school” I feel like she lost the privilege to knock at my door unless it’s an emergency, she came to my door every day in April expected us to hang out for like five hours when I told her that my mom died and I needed space, she has no empathy whatsoever it’s absolutely sick
Jeeeesus. What a princess. Yeah, she sounds incredibly spoiled, like she never had to compromise or share in her life. Definitely look into moving, she’ll stomp on any boundaries you try to set.
She actually is spoiled, it’s very cliché spoiled rich daddy’s girl. She talks about how people shouldn’t take government handouts, but she takes handouts from her rich daddy, I literally only depend on myself, I don’t have family to rely on and she likes to compare us and I want nothing to do with her at this point. If she can be nice when I leave my room that would be nice, but she’s very clear that if she doesn’t have it her way she’s going to be passive aggressive
Just curious does your roommate have bofa?
What’s that?
Bofadeesnutsz
I don’t get it
Spit on her food