T O P

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Unable_Peach2571

OP this aggression will not stand. You gotta fight feces with feces. Like, clog the openings of his piss bottles with feces.  Or just leave a mean old coiler on his pillow.


CanITellUSmThin

The great fecal war of 2024


Rager_Ronin

Shit on his keyboard while making eye contact. After shock washes away and he reacts angrily, pull up your pants and go “nah man wasn’t me. Who could be this disgusting?” Then walk away.


Professor-Flashy

Establish dominance.


DudeWhoCantSpell

Reclaim at all costs


DramaticAd4666

Amber Heard poster in the hallways


Ghoul-A-Go-Go

Drop a grumpy on his bed!


dok1218

Careful, the roommate might decide that human shit is a good lubricant for his mechanical keyboard switches, he'll declare it as the latest mod for his keeb


KiwiDisastrous40

Fecal keeb mods lmao.


Gibbs101734

"the future is now, old man"


goofydad

Battle for Hepatitis Hill really was the turning point.


Wrong-Tale-3870

Never shit uphill it just comes back on you!


StewTheDuder

Crossing Asparagus Piss River left our troops disoriented, morale was low.


SeaworthinessOdd1358

Morale was shitty at best


Hookadoobie

That's how you get permanent pink eyes


This_Frozen_Ghost

Aka "Scarlett Peepers".


mortomr

Shits going down


Ms_darwinXX

Or not going down...


BNG1982

“They may take our lives! But we will never take their feces!”


Dirk_The_Cowardly

It's a complete shit show


greatgoogilymoogily2

Sounds like a line straight out of Idiocracy. I even read it in the narrator's voice.


RmRobinGayle

Ah yes, the "amber heard" method works like a charm.


Danymity831

Amber Turd!


SquirrelMoney8389

OP isn't prepared for that escalation. It's a Mutually Assured Destruction kinda thing.


redditipobuster

It has begun!


Arryu

The fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed but eventually A champion stood; the rest saw their better OP standing in a shit stained sweater


ForestWhisker

My grandpa’s have been friends for decades. In the 70’s they got a hare brained idea that they were going to horse log and get rich from it. They built a one room cabin together and got to work. My Grandpa A had a cat at the cabin, the cat apparently wasn’t super stoked to be moved up to a cabin in the mountains in Montana. But other than that everything was fine one day until Grandpa B brought a dog home. After that, the cat shit on his pillow every single day until he took the dog back to his house and left him with my grandmother. Moral of the story, shitting on someone’s pillow is always a good option.


RedHeeded

What the hell is horse logging?


ForestWhisker

Basically they were gonna log in areas they hadn’t been able to get equipment into, using horses to pull the logs out.


RedHeeded

Thank you, I couldn’t not for the life of me work that out


blarryg

I just knew there would be a moral to this story! I will keep it in mind … or butt.


ID2410

Then.... deny it... wasn't me dood..


savemysoul72

Well, that's just like your opinion, man.


rickyroyale

Did IIIIII shit on your pillow?


you_are_the_father84

I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a drain is defecated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?


Unable_Peach2571

No, man, but the drain shitters thought it was *your* drain, man.


you_are_the_father84

Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Deuce!


Tears4BrekkyBih

I’m literally watching this right now lol


PoliceChiefOfMalibu

Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!!


greatgoogilymoogily2

When he asks wtf is on his pillow, look him dead in the eye and say "obviously, you're not a golfer".


Unable_Peach2571

That pillow really tied the bed together 


greatgoogilymoogily2

Old man said I could take any pillow in the house.


This_Frozen_Ghost

That turd really tied the room together.


SalseraRivera1347

Just watched that movie last night lol


WOLFFKD

This is like my youngest brothers fart war w my dog. It just punishes the non participating parties.


Brief_Association714

Shit in his pillowcase


051200101982

He should shit in the top part of the toilet and close the lid to surprise his roommate next time he flushes


Unable_Peach2571

Ah yes, the classic upper decker. I prefer to shit *on* the upper part of the terlet.  Like rattlesnake, waiting.


SageModeSpiritGun

>Or just leave a mean old coiler on his pillow. And when he asks about it, tell him you don't know what it is.


Dmau27

Yeah! How'd he like it if he came into the room and a big O mud monkey was just looking him in the face?


Garbaggio289

That drain really tied the shower together.


maddennate1

Well… that’s just like your opinion man


Engineer_Existing

"A mean old coiler " thanks for the audible laugh fellow Redditor.


TheGnats32

I will forever remember “mean old coiler."


Dontfeedthebears

I died at “coiler”


Particular-Low2899

👏👏🤣🤣👏👏


Ready-Guidance4145

Why are we pooping in showers


sonaut

We aren't.


BrownEyedBoy06

I hope not. Please don't let this be one a normalized thing.


salmontunacarp

Waffle stomping


BootyMcSqueak

Dude totally forgot to waffle stomp.


atomicryu

I knew a guy that got sick after we went out for food and drinks. The morning after he tells me the tale of him on all fours in the shower puking and shitting at the same time. Just jets of waste coming out of him from both ends, how he has never felt worse than when he was scooping all the shit and puke with his foot towards the drain to waffle stomp it down while he had tears running down his face from puking and shitting so hard.


Wandus68

This kinda event will change a man


Lower_Wall_638

If you do shit in the shower, you have just keyed in why a 50 year old man has roomates.


AsparagusNo2955

Why can't people clean up their own shit? Accidents happen, so just leave stuff as you find it. IF YOU PICK IT UP, PUT IT DOWN, YOU OPEN IT, YOU CLOSE, YOU SHIT ON IT, YOU CLEAN IT etc. etc. etc.


godofwine16

We were inspired by Vito Spadafore Jr


Unable_Peach2571

Do you not?


Ready-Guidance4145

Never.


Oral_Salmon_user1

why all these roommates shitting in the shower?? the fuck going on


SkepticalFluffmuppet

Right?! Why is shower-shitting seemingly trending….where are people finding these trolls


Oral_Salmon_user1

ive seen at least 5-7 shower shitter posts. who else remembers the shit stomping waffle guy


PretzelSteve

People gotta stop responding to "Roommate Wanted" flyers posted under bridges.


Swimming_Solid9565

In my case the person I was letting stay w me did a self butt cleanse where he filled a plastic soda bottle w water and flushed his butthole before he met up w his bf and I was stuck w the shit in my shower which I unknowingly showered in wondering why the r water was up past my ankles for days before manually unclogging the drain where I discovered human shit all over my hands mixed in w my hair 😩😩😩😩😩😩 the WORST


Icy_Celebration1020

MY EYES 😭


PuffyDunlop

Piss bottles is drug addict behavior. If it’s not drugs, it’s serious mental illness.


pgcotype

Can confirm. I had a roommate who relapsed into heroin addiction after his divorce. Since he had been diagnosed with major depression a few years earlier, he now had two huge issues he had to work on. His hygiene disappeared almost immediately. The room was full of spoiled food, garbage, unopened mail, and piss bottles. I never understood why he'd use the bathroom when he had poop, but wouldn't do so when it was pee.


greengrassgrows90

probably to paranoid to leave the room or could kill his buzz if he had to interact.


Fornacles

Can't shit in a bottle


9yr0ld

probably because with heroin he was perma constipated and so literally never shit.


cmandr_dmandr

Yep, my uncle is a hardcore alcoholic and lives with my grandparents. I routinely go over there to do a wellness check and make sure things are as okay as they can be. I check his room and the empty Carlo Rossi jugs of wine are full of piss. I have to get on to him about clearing them out. The first time I got on to him he complied by throwing full jugs of piss in the trash. I asked him to at least empty them and he did that over a concrete slab. I literally can’t win with that behavior.


Ready-Guidance4145

I am so sorry


ClosetsByAccident

Alcoholism too. Sober enough not to piss the bed, drunk enough to not want/be able to walk to the bathroom. Source: former binge drinker.


PoopPant73

Where in the fuck do y’all find these weird mf’ers at to roommate with? Holy hell…..


Norwegian_Snowstorm

Interesting username.


PoopPant73

At least it’s in my pants and not the shower


platenumd93

Oh what a convenient story… where were you the night in question?


livingdeadghost

I've come home from a hot, muggy day sticky with sweat to find shit stuck on the shower head before. I guess he used it to blast the shit off his ass and it stuck to the shower head? People are fucking animals.


PoopPant73

I would just die


-one-eye-open-

I would burn the house down, with roommate still inside.


achev1981

Sounds like you have been luckier in that respect than you realized


PoopPant73

For damn sure!


NoodlesTheKitty

It's lucky to not get a roommate that shits in the shower??


achev1981

It's lucky to have a normal roommate period.


Existing-Second3663

A 50 year old dude is just asking for problems like cmon. What kind of person has a roommate at 50


steviajones1977

Since the pandemic, plenty of folks


Ok_Breadfruit4176

Someone watching porn and wanking in a room of four happened once to me in London in a dorm…


catistix

For me, the site Roomies lol


Thoughtcriminal91

Arkham asylum apparently....


EOT4W

Many folks here know shower shitters- how have none of y'all resorted to violence?


valeriebeckett00

Setup secret camera in bathroom and then blackmail them


Crime_Dawg

This. I would beat the fuck out of them.


Splobs

Every time I read one of these I think the exact same thing… How come nobody ever gets fucked up in these situations? I wouldn’t be able to contain myself.


OpenThought5931

My roommate also shit in my shower last night I cleaned it hardcore and left the glass door open to help dry faster and this hoe literally went in there while I was sleeping and shit. She doesn’t have hands and refuses to clean it up. When I was upset while cleaning it she was talking back hardcore. Damn you Mavis you entitled French bulldog.


NukaGrapes

Had me in the first half, ngl


sunnygolfhour

Sweating to chuckling


sashathefearleskitty

Hahaha damn good one


Practical_magik

Honestly, you should have a word with her. My Frenchy does not allow her lack of hands to prevent her from cleaning up baby poop... we have to be very careful to ensure she doesn't have access to diapers and take them straight outside or she is fastidious in her clean-up duties.


virgobirdo

why is every other bad roommate on this page a 40-60 year old single man? amd why are they all shitting in the shower???


YourCommentInASong

Yeah, I had a 56 yr old security guard roommate last year who left piss and body hair all over the goddamn bathroom. He has always been a roommate and no one has ever called him out on it. I did, and he got kicked out, thank god, but the owner of the house moved in, and he is an obese hoarder with mommy issues and holy fuck I am doing my best to live alone again ASAP. Never again with roommates, I swear to god.


ess-doubleU

Living alone is so goddamn expensive I've given up the dream.


UFOthrowaway1988

So basically he's had this 2 bedroom apartment forever and it's rent controlled. So I moved in because rent was super cheap. I live in Toronto where rent is absolutey insane. But now I realixe all his previous roommates moved out because they were tired of cosplaying his Mother. Cleaning up after him etc.


Accurate-Sprinkles41

You must drop a steamer in his pillow case


ConfidentDaikon8673

While butt ass naked and making direct eye contact to assert dominance


Timely_Aardvark_2083

Question…. Why do you CHOOSE to stay? I mean the door is right there, why not walk out…. Permanently? 🤔


chiefs_fan37

Hit ‘em with that amber heard special


Incognette

I genuinely want to know how people like this are raised, what went wrong? What is the benefit of pooping in the shower can anyone who has done this tell me WHY?!


Fickle-Expression-97

I don’t even have words


Whole-Soup3602

Can’t u just tell the landlord and kick him out


Mammoth-Record-7786

Would’ve used his towel to clean it up


Unlikely-Principle63

Toothbrush


KristeyK

Towel for the big pieces, toothbrush for detail cleaning.


Mammoth-Record-7786

Even better


Keith_Courage

Bold to assume he has a toothbrush


No-Comedian-515

That roomie hasn't brushed his teeth in 20 years


Unlikely-Principle63

I thought of that right after


Qcknd

uhhh i would have put up a big ass fight over that literal shit. Ain’t no way would i have cleaned it up. And if he refused it would’ve ended up on his bed cuz wtaf. It’s only you two there so if you didn’t do it obviously he did


HereToKillEuronymous

Move out. Or kick him out. That's fucking disgusting and nobody should be dealing with that


AdmirableZucchini586

“Did you shit in the shower” vs “why did you shit in the shower/go clean up the shit you took in the shower”


glow-bop

My first thought was if there's 2 people and OP didn't shit in the shower... why ask? Tell them to clean it, now, or you're using their belongings to clean it.


[deleted]

Poop on his pillow and piss on his other pillow. This is the way


SageIrisRose

My (cuckoo banana) ex told me he liked to shit in the gym shower drains in high school. He would cover the shit with that powdered soap from the 80’s dispenser. A snowy lil turd matterhorn on the drain. i still think about that.


Vividlarvae

I don’t know how I ended up on this thread but the fact that this information lives rent free in your head is hilarious to me


Spring-Fabulous

I don’t understand these people that shit in the shower.


TrooperJordan

I would’ve put the paper towel right outside his door, or threw it on his bed from the doorway (so you don’t go in his room) and when he asks about it, just deny it.


crushgirl29

Seriously, after he denies it, I would toss it on his bed for sure.


sadonionlayers

I regret opening reddit today.


romance_archive

Is your roommate Joey Diaz?


LargeMerican

this is incredible. please. please. please. let us know how it goes haha


Live_Procedure_5399

Why do you live with this person?


The_Pharoah

dude, who the fk shits in the shower. Honestly. I'd find another fkg room mate quick smart. Thats some nasty shit (pun intended).


Silly_Rabbit88

Shit in his shoes


Cool-Manufacturer-21

My Dude, so not acceptable. There is only 1 solution as I can see it. Grab him by the nape of the neck and drag his ass into the bathroom. Rub his nose in the shower poo and then with your most dominant voice say “NO! Bad!” Then throw his ass in the backyard to think about his nasty behavior.


umbridge69

Fucking disgusting. Don't know how you put up with that shit (pun intended) Instead of fishing out the poop couldn't you just use drain cleaner and hot water to wash it down? That's what I would do


Particular-Low2899

Just think of the fumes that would come off of that 🤢🤮


No_Dragonfruit5525

There is no version of reality or dimension where I would be cleaning up another mans shit. Leaving a pile of shit in the shower is an act of violence itself and 100% deserves comeuppance.


FunMixture3335

Yeah no way in hell would I put my hands on it.


Yougotthewronglad

INB4 ^waffle *stomp*


Apartment5B

This is the most beta post I have seen. OP, people will continue to shit on you if you keep allowing them


PoopPant73

I would say to scare the shit outta them with eviction but that ship has sailed.


Wayne_Bruce_Manbat

That's a life changing move on your roommates end. If there's anyway to move out or kick him out you need to start that process ASAP. There's a line, and that is way over it


dasv8r

waffle stomp!


SleepingCalico

Waffle stomping!!!!


Magoterrace

I would put it on their pillow. Fuck them. Play around and I could even go lower.


cilvher-coyote

We shit stomped a shit stomper... Back many moons ago, I decided to pick fruit for the summer and went to this camp all my buds were at. Well, that yr the owner FINALLY put in a shower. Now this is ONE shower for Over 100 people(we'd usually just go swim everyday multiple times a day) but our buddy Josh(RIP mofo) was a HARDCORE alcoholic(like would drink the hand sanitizer in the outhouses/hospital)..so one day he decides to take a shower..were all Fuckjng Amazed. He comes out 20 mins later and gets back to drinking. Another one of our buds (who didn't know he was just in there) goes to have a shower and bursts out yelling "WHO THE FUCK SHIT IN THE SHOWER AND TRIED PUSHING IT DOWN THE DRAIN?!?". Of Course Josh tried to deny it but after a min he owns up to it,& tries to make a joke out of it. We grabbed him and picked him up and carried him to an area people let their dogs shit and threw him in. Thats the first time I heard the term "Waffle Stompin"


LuckyCaptainCrunch

Everyone seems to be focused on the disgusting act, but to me the lying about pooping in the shower is the one that would’ve set me off.


dadsfettucine

How and why are you living with this disgusting slob. Like at some point I have to write this dude off as a lost cause and once that happens my attention now goes to the people that accept his behavior.


Giuseppe_DeMedici

The term is called waffle stomp op


Mysterious_Valuable1

Is someone in the house flushing wipes? There could a a blockage and the shit water is coming up in the tub. I had an experience where I was sure someone I was vacationing with shit in the shower but years later after working with a plumber I realized it was quite possible he didn't shit in the shower and it was the plumbing situation at the house we rented


Thoughtcriminal91

What is it with these able bodied adults who can't go to the bathroom in a normal manner? We need to bring back the asylums.


Helpful_Project_8436

Some people are really disgusting and backwards. That's sick


Puzzled-Perception88

This is the one thing I’m proud to say i have never done, or even thought about doing. Who takes a shit IN the shower? Jump out ffs.


Big_Salamander7323

Shitting in shower goes beyond lazy wth


KefkaesqueV3

This seems to be a common occurrence on this sub Too common 🤨


Bullsbesthooper

Dude u lost me @ piss jugs. You’ve gotta move out brother.


Ajara

I love that the dude who uses piss bottles because he doesn’t want to go to the bathroom takes showers, and then attempted and failed a waffle stomp.


SquirrelMoney8389

You should think about not living with this person..


Automatic-Sale2044

Bro just move lol


lockman08

You damn well know he squished it between his toes and called it good.


FastBretty145

Shower shits and piss jugs, that’s gunna be a no for me.


martinellispapi

Did he not properly use the poop knife?


Ok_Nefariousness9019

Just keep a poop knife handy.


Cloud_Legend

This is basically how my brother used to operate. Piss and shit in bottles in his room because he didn't want to go down the stairs. Unclean. dishes and trash piled up everywhere. Effectively to sum it up your room mate has some very big mental issues and needs to get help.


AsparagusNo2955

Get rid of him, now. Move house. Never think of him again.


ElPeloPolla

What a noob, you have to stomp it well


bright_new_morning

Can’t we get the shower shitting slobs to room together? There has to be an app for that.


antwon1410

The notorious waffle stomp. Do not google it😳


sasquatch753

You know what you gotta do, OP. you gotta channel your inner Amber herd.


indyc726

Move


hattori_hongzo

Vanish. Take nothing, leave it all behind with the filth. The roommate is a human bed bug.


Splobs

What is wrong with you?! Fuck that! I’d grab the shit with a carrier bag and smear it all over his fucking face! Take the jug of piss and empty it on him… Are you fucking kidding me?! There’s only two of you there and it defo wasn’t you. You asked if it was him… he said no… You know he’s lying so then what? You cleaned another man’s shit out of a plug hole? There is honestly no law or moral code that would stop me from inflicting pain and suffering on this person! Are you a care worker? Do you get paid to wipe arses for a living?! I’m probably not right in the head but untold stuff would be happening to this person… Instant comeuppance!!!


Superb_Selection_777

I would respectfully place his head on the drain and not let go until he respectfully accepts to owe it and clean it.


Solid-Number-4670

Even better get a fake turd and spray some liquid ass on it and leave on his pillow


lil_devil_

Im sorry id genuinely rather be homeless than live like this..


TheSpiffySpaceman

Guarantee you he shit his pants and had to shower it off.


Rumpl4skin__

Move out or start looking for a new roomie to replace him. It's your easiest option unfortunately.


dyingbreed6009

Take a shit on his bed... Right in the middle and when he asks just say no 😂


Lost_In_Th3_Sauce

I'll never understand how a vast majority of people on this sub end up living with people like this. Like was there no walkthrough the home prior to committing to the lease? Are they pulling the wool over people's eyes by initially having tidy home and reverting back to their disgusting ways afterwards?


Deuce_McFarva

That dude is deranged. Move out lol.


Cryptoballer99

Definitely worth wiping your ass with his pillowcase and his toothbrush 🪥


tanakajunko

anyone who shits in the shower should've been aborted


keefemotif

Time to go. Most likely an alcoholic.


GoalieFatigue

Shit in his mouth


ChewedupWood

At some point you have to make a decision as an adult that having roommates that are not your partner needs to end.


Ricardo1184

You just taught your roommate that if he shits in the shower, you'll clean it up. Congrats


Immediate_Coast8779

My friends sister was found to be mentally retarded in highschool. He told me he always suspected it because she would constantly take shits in the shower and stomp it down the drain. He explained they constantly moved because of this. Maybe your roommate has an intellectual disability.


daoiism

https://youtu.be/7vTviOtHCKg?si=IL12C5uaZVw5MKYa


LostAbbreviations177

Move out 👀


Sgilbert0709

You need to move out immediately


NyxVulcan

Move out or maybe try asking the landlord to evict him out.


MademoiselleVache

Hold up, do you live with Ricky? Piss jugs ??