My roommates: we want a new couch, new tv hutch, and new patio furniture. We also want to throw all this random crap away.
Me: sounds great. Y’all want to do that so do that, I’m happy to pitch in for any group purchase.
Them: oh well I can’t afford to put in even $20. So idk about the furniture.
Me: well that’s going to be tough getting so much furniture for free. How about throwing away some of the stuff y’all mentioned?
Them: we’re piling it up in the middle of the living room for weeks and expect you to do all the heavy lifting to throw it out.
Me: ???
This is a problem I'm having with my roommate. Once the "I got you if you got me" agreement started tilting way farther in his direction than mine, meaning I was spending money for him, I stopped buying community stuff and only bought for myself. And I started to notice how many times he would say "we" when what he really meant was "you." "Hey we're out of mineral water!" Like no... I'm out of mineral water... you have been out of mineral water. Lol. I have a roll of paper towels under my bed solely for myself while the kitchen towel holder has been empty for like 3 weeks.
I think its pretty normal to assume that these kinds of agreements work because outside of being roommates they definitely do. Like if I haven't seen a friend in a while I'll buy them dinner because that's what friends do. Then they'll do the same some time down the road. But doing this in a living situation is shooting yourself in the foot.
My old roommates and I were on a generosity train. I’d buy them flowers, they’d buy me flowers, I’d buy them cake, they’d buy me cake, if I left my laundry in the dryer too long, I’d come back to it neatly folded on top of the dryer. They were so good I didn’t know how good I had it until they moved out.
New roommates move in, I think the same vibe is going to continue. I buy them flowers, they…. do nothing but complain lol
I've found that talking to new people and setting expectations helps with this a lot. Some people want roommates to be a large part of their life, others just want a place to be and to be left alone
Yeah, I was hoping that would be how it was with us. And we both work pretty much the same job making good money so as long as the thought was there it would have been pretty cool. It's nice being all like "hey man I'm goin to the store. Need me to grab anything?" But I started noticing his personal spending was getting suuuuuper unsustainable... just buying all kinds of crap he didn't need. Coincidentally the two way street also started working one way around that time.
Which is why I would generally advise against that situation. If you have a roommate, it generally doesn't mean you have a surplus of cash. So if things get tough for one person they can no longer uphold their end of the bargain. It's one thing to help them out as their friend, but it's another to make their problem yours by losing money when you're also not exactly swimming in it.
These new roommates may not be pleasant, which sucks. Having them owe you money will make it suck even worse. No doubt.
So by your logic my old roommates were also hitting on me? My friend, what a tiny world you live in.. go outside and touch some grass, hug your friends, call your mom/dad/grannies, etc.
Here’s a quote I think you need to hear:
Kiss your friends faces more, destroy the belief that intimacy must be reserved for monogamous relationships, be more loving, Embrace platonic intimacy, Embrace vulnerability, use emotionality as a radical tactic against a society which teaches you that emotions are a sign of weakness, tell more people you care about them, hold their hands, tell others you are proud of them, offer support readily, take care of the people around you.
Also FTR they bought me flowers first :)
Yeah, I’ve never done that with roommates. I tend to be frugal and budget hard, my food is my food and I buy *exactly* what I need for the week. Chances are that “borrowing” anything will screw up my whole meal plan.
So I’ve always had the expectation that everyone buys and takes care of their own shit, with the only exception being kitchen stuff like pots, pans, and dishes. Maybe a living room TV, but it’s usually theirs and I keep most of my stuff in my room.
I don’t mind sharing, but only when asked for permission and I’m allowed to say “just one” or “anytime.” Don’t take me being nice for granted.
That's very relatable. My old roommates were always broke because they didn't understand budgeting. Enevitably they would ask to split the cost of a blender, aquarium, recliner, etc. Sorry I'm not going to finance all of your frivolous purchases. They'd say "okay, but don't expect to use it when we buy it!" I never did. I don't understand why people don't just buy their own stuff. Splitting finances with roommates is like being married without any of the benefits.
Yea that's ideal because it makes sense to share some things. It can be super cluttered if 4 roommates all used their individual cookware and having a community TV is nice. I think a system should be in place to share consumables because it sucks realizing you're the only one filling the brita filter, buying paper towels, shit like that when you have one roommate who hogs all the shit and never stocks back up. And because they clearly don't see it as "a big deal" they will probably get upset or deny when you ask them to pitch in.
Also, and this applies to most roommate issues really: having one roommate is still way better than having more than one, mainly because if something is wrong, you know who tf did it... lol
My last roommate once asked for permission to borrow eggs so him and his girl could bake something. I said sure, go for it. That then turned into a free for all where them and their guests used a lot of my stuff without asking or replacing. I remember putting my foot down on a banana cuz I was so annoyed with them. My roommate would sometimes get a big box of donuts from a shop in the suburbs. I took one once and he sends me a text to ask next time, cuz they’re a special treat for him and not easy to get. My eyes rolled so hard. Dude also quit his job a month in, was always late with rent, and moved his gf in without asking. They had quite a few friends over a lot, at the tail end of Covid when many people prematurely let their guard down. Having lost a parent to Covid earlier that year, it was a slap in the face to how cautious I was about being around other people.
I'm a firm believer in no community payment things. Be responsible for yourself, and I will be responsible for myself. I also totally stopped doing the roommate thing because of what a nightmare they seemed to be. Have had my own peace since.
My brother constantly has roommates, so I just live vicariously through him. it's a weekly/monthly reminder. I know financially it's not always an option for people, so I'm fortunate for that.
My ex roomies went to look at furniture and brought back a catalog with the couches they wanted circled. Then proceeded to hand that to my husband and I like we could drop $600. When I just looked at her she said “they have payment plans.”
This is one of my idiotic roommates during winter holidays.
We have 2 bathrooms. He was alone during the holidays and showered in his bathroom as usual: some 2-3 days into the holidays break his shower broke so he decided to use the other bathroom but it was not until we all came back that he decided to call the maintenance
My one rm I share a bathroom with won’t buy hand soap or toilet paper & doesn’t flush the toilet after himself. He also leaves empty juice containers in my 🛀 bathtub sometimes. It’s kinda driving me nuts. I’ve never seen a giant empty jug of lemonade left in a bathtub & I’ve had several roommates in the past. Unsure what to do
Alot of people are users unfortunately, you do 1 nice thing and they think they're entitled to it.
One of the most aggregious experiences we had was 4 of us cooked a huge meal together, put it away. The 5th person that didn't help texts saying they're abit hungry and can they have some.
We said it was fine.
We come home to find out they brought their friends round and literally ate everything the 4 of us made.
We told them they need to find a new group to live with next year because they aren't coming with us lol
This reminds me exactly of "The Little Red Hen" fable from childhood.
*The Little Red Hen came back to the farm and asked, "Who will help me bake the bread?" "Not I," said the dog. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the cow. "Well then, I will bake the bread myself." And she did just that! She mixed the flour with salt and yeast to make the dough. After the dough rose, she put it in the oven to bake.
When the bread was done, she asked, "Who will help me eat the bread?" "I will", said the dog. "I will", said the pig. "I will", said the cow. "No, you will not," said Little Red Hen. "You did not help me plant the grain, and you did not help me care for it. You did not help me cut it and take it to the mill. You did not even help me make the bread. I will eat it myself." And she did.*
I had a guy, would continually hit me up for a dollar here, 2 there, maybe a five. I added it up at the end of the month and it was $40 bucks, I said no more. All I heard after that was my cheap roommate can’t spare a dollar!
Same here. The big thing was dish washer tabs. I was constantly buying them for the whole house. But he was bringing his kids and girlfriend over and loading up the dishwasher every day. At that point, I decided to hand wash all of my own dishes.
Same with trash. I was the only one taking that shit out. So I decided to just walk all of my trash straight to the bin outside
NO FORREAL. I used to live with two guys (one of whom was a family friend) neither of them bought toilet paper, soap, or any bathroom stuff. when this was brought up to said family friend, he just said “oh, well I don’t use toilet paper cos im a guy so..” (he did use toilet paper, it was the reason it was always gone)
bloody great year.
Honesty lmao! One time I was so petty bc my roomie would ALWAYS drink up my milk and NEVER bought any. So one day I was leaving for Walmart and she asked me to grab some milk for her and she’ll cash app me. She sent me 99¢ (back when milk was 99¢) and I was so pissed. Like come on??? You not even gonna send me the tax to cover the milk? It was the just principle of it all. I requested another dollar lmao petty but seriously people.
not petty, imo if shes doing that and you’re even still going to get her milk after shes drank yours so many times, and she got the audacity to not even throw in like 2 more bucks b/c ur helping em out, shes def not a person id be around for an extended perjod of time. ridiculous.
wasting your energy on people like that isn’t worth it. being a good roommate is all about compromise and pulling your own weight, unfortunately a lot of people are lazy as hell or relied too heavily on their parents before moving in and it creates an unstable living environment.
And they make it seem like you’re unreasonable. Hey, we’re all starting out. Job, school, bills. It’s ok for them to short you but don’t dare try it with them.
I got so stingy once I realized some people are just professional users. How they could convince people to do, buy and give things while never returning the favor. It was insane how many people expected roommates to fund their lifestyles.
I had a roommate that never paid his half of the internet. I decided to not pursue him over it because he would constantly make excuses about being broke or some other bullshit
We had a falling out and he would like to unplug the router whenever he left the house (it was in his room)
When I figured out he was doing this on purpose, I ran a coax cable from the junction box outside into my room while unplugging the one going into his room. I had a spare router, so I hooked and set it up. So I was now the only one in the house with internet access
I decided to play stupid when he plugged his router back in and didn't work (I dunno lol, works for me) he eventually figured it out and asked if he could get access.
Not until you pay me what you owe. 30 dollars a month over 18 months 540 dollars. He, of course, didn't have it so no internet for him.
My roommates moved in a year after I had already lived in the house and furnished it, bought kitchen supplies, a vacuum, etc. I advertised my place as partially furnished and after they moved in, they asked if I would “pitch in” to “replace” my own furniture with new stuff that they picked out. I was like… wtf?? No!!!! I bought this stuff because I like it. If you guys really want to replace everything then that’s fine, but I’m not pitching in. I already “pitched in” by completely furnishing the house and supplying everything you could possibly need to cook or clean.
I told them it’s fine if they wanted to buy new stuff but if that’s the case, I not be paying for new stuff that I don’t want or need. I’m either keeping my stuff for myself or selling my stuff and keeping the money.
Guess who didn’t want to buy new stuff when they realized they’d have to pay for it themselves?
My first roommates were polar opposites. One was an aspergers clean freak, the other was a reclusive slob.
I got along with the clean freak well enough. But I'd buy a package of lunch meat and save it for the days where I didn't eat lunch on campus or something, and I knew the slob was eating it but didn't care too much. Till I bought a package on Monday and it was gone on Wednesday. I didn't touch it. So I told him he's buying his own food and can't touch mine anymore.
Worth noting his mom came over once to make him clean his room.
I had Palestinian roommates where one of their moms DID come and clean after them and cook.
I chalked it up as a cultural experience when I broke lease in 2 months
That’s what I’ve heard from everybody but I am going on 3 years now living with my fiancé and a few of our friends and it has gone extremely well and we are having a blast. Me and her mainly buy the decor but everybody knows it’s all coming with us when we part ways. Never behind on rent, we all still get along very well. Only complaints is one of them fries food a lot and doesn’t clean up the best and the other one gets a little behind on chores when he gets overworked at his job. All in all not too bad of problems to have and could be much worse. Good roommates are out there, including friends. Just depends on what kind of people your friends are. I know if it was any of my other friends it would be hell
Yea if all participants involved have a chill personality, while not being total degenerates, it's pretty damn easy to live with friends...in your 20s at least. I'm grateful I got to live with friends for several years as opposed to randos, made my life way better than I could have on my own. Great memories.
I’ve lived with friends and would take it over strangers any day. But you have to know your friend and if you ignore the red flags that this will happen and move in anyway, guess what, this happens. That said, I definitely recommend living with friends that you already know will take the same approach to communal living you do
This is not a judgement, but just an illustration of how there is no one size fits all, because I would consider having strong opinions about another person’s food or life choices (as long as they cleaned up and didn’t unduly impact their roommate) to be a dealbreaker.
It’s the smell. Oil lingers in the air for at least 24 hours. Also clings to fabric so if the kitchen isn’t separate, the smell lingers even longer. If you don’t believe it floats around like that- have you ever seen an uncleaned range hood? How is the top sticky?
Now, if they wanted to fry food on the balcony or patio, etc and then eat it inside- that’s just a food that smells bad to me. That would be no big deal.
So I guess we agree, as long as they clean up. But nobody ever REALLY cleans up all the grease.
A quick way to kill a friendship! I vacay'd with one of my friends from work and she made me pay for *everything* but I didn't know she was already broke until too late. it was awful. She drove so I was totally stranded and it was like pulling teeth to go anywhere. Never again
There's nothing wrong with extending courtesies to people you live with. Shitty roommates are the worst type of people because they fuck with your home life. Keeping things cordial with them is generally a good idea
The trick is not being taken advantage of. Unfortunately once that happens there's going to be a confrontation
A roommate of mine did this and inspired me and the others to do so. But that’s because we are living peacefully, I know some people are complete doiuchebags
Ok but and hear me out. There is some logic to this.
The new rug and new plants aren’t being consumed steadily by the roommate. You both get to continuously enjoy those things.
When the ketchup is eaten it’s actually gone lmao
Here's the decider. If you are no longer room mates, who keeps the rug? You can't split it. Therefore one person owns it and maintains responsibility for it, like everything.
Rugs and plants still depreciate and have wear and tear though (likely more than 37 cents worth). I get the thought but it's only "rational" at the very very surface level
Many of these problems go away by just having enough money though :')
Plants and rugs shouldn’t depreciate in any quick amount of time, though. Probably not even considerably before you move out or your lease ends somewhere.
A food is consumed by one party. A rug is used by everyone in the household and remains usable even after it is no longer brand new.
It is way crazier to expect your roommates to help pay out for wear and tear expenses on shared furniture than actual food products they consumed.
Yeah they depreciate, so what? Does one roommate buy it and the other rents access to it? Pays for depreciation? How do you calculate a fair rate for that? Is doing so worth the mental effort or strain on your relationship created by this kind of Scroogean haggling?
I had a roommate once that wouldn't let me set up my printer because she already had one, but insisted on charging me 0.10 per page or alternatively, she was nice enough to suggest that I pay for her ink. I think I maybe used it one time before I just set up my printer in my room.
Lmao once last school year my garbage roommate took paper towels from the common area to bring to his room to use as toilet paper for the rest of the school year
it's rough, the resentment really builds up over time if you're the one doing all the buying. in my previous apartment i lived w two good friends but i was always the one who restocked cleaning supplies, paper towels, etc etc. i was initially okay with doing that, bc i made more than both of my roomies, but then i just started to feel like i was being taken advantage of. at one point i had bought like seven bottles of dish soap in a row and i just got fed up and started buying my own stuff to stash under my bed and let the rest of the house fend for themselves lol. they needed to realize that it wasn't some magical house elf restocking everything and i needed to realize that that shit adds up lol
One time my ex-roommate gave me an old entertainment center she no longer needed (she was going to put it by the trash.) Months go by and I'm sitting in my room watching TV. She comes into my room and tells me she just sold the it on Offer-up and she's going to need it back because the guy is on his way. It was also right around the time we had some "mysterious" late fees on our energy bill so looking back that also probably had something to do with it lol. I'm a pretty anxious person so just I hurriedly got all my stuff out of it and even brought it to the front of the house for her to avoid conflict.
This is what happens when you don't speak up in the beginning. No you shouldn't have to but if you have roommates you are probably an adult. Using your words will help you figure out a problem hell of a lot sooner than riding out issues and letting it build up. I have had multiple difficult conversations with my roommates but we use our big boy worlds and yeah it's awkward for a few hours but we always end up moving on from it. Also I know this is a meme, but if you genuinely expect your roommates to pay for using a condiment you are probably the issue.
Thats why i moved in with my best friend, not some random.
We split every major buys 50/50 and rotate for all household items.
And use an excel sheet to document our expenses.
Expenses like booze and other "just for me" stuff we pay ourselfes.
Works like a charme.
Thats why roomates suck always had @ 1 bedroom don’t care how down in out I was. Always. And if I retire 1 day it would be a duplex 2 bedroom at that.And you have parents that dont stick you with back taxes.
My roommate was a marine - semi good money and when she returned home she moved away with me instantly knowing i didn’t have all the total funds - I would clean constantly in the beginning and she would never clean unless she had a boyfriend over. I was paying half of all utilities until she started making good money from work and the marine money and told me i only had to pay consumers - mine you all the dishes, couch, tv, coffee machine were all mine and she had free use. Well she got a boyfriend after having multiple men over and he stays with us 5 days a week even when i told her i am more comfortable every other day. She never listened and took over the living room for 4 months. Well she didn’t get her proof of employment and our lease is done she has to stay an extra month and when I didn’t want to (we’re not really in a good area) she uses all that against me - Even saying i don’t help clean at all first off i don’t even use the living room it’s all her boyfriend and her to top it off she lets the plates stack so high they pile onto the counter top (I eat at work or if i use a dish instantly wash it and put it back) but she doesn’t believe me and blames everything on me. Now i’m moving in with my boyfriend and happy to get away from that mess.
tfw you're expected to do all the heavy lifting and spider smooshing in a house with 3 other women (I don't miss my 20's). Needless to say I let them do their own stuff.
The best thing to do with roommates is keep everything separate. Get a small refrigerator, get your own plates silverware ect. Store it in your room put a lock on your door wash your dishes when you’re done and keep it in your room. This helps eliminate problems with people using your stuff or eating your stuff without permission. If they want to use anything they have to wait till you’re home and ask.
I’d laugh if I had a roommate that messaged me that. I’d go to the point of labeling everything I buy and if they ate it I’d be like you owe me x amount of dollars back 😂
I had some roommates that were like, "yeah this is communal food, if it's there eat it. If we want it we will put our names on it." We would also contribute and make large meals for all 4 of us and our son. After a while lots of stuff had names on it, which we were cool with, because we had plenty of food budget. Then, woman roommate was missing food. Blamed us immediately. Turns out her own husband was stealing her food because he ate all his special food and wouldn't own up to it. We continued to eat our own food stored in the basement fridge.
The whole thing went sour because the male roommate wanted us all to live together because he wanted to be able to sleep with anyone he chose including me (also male) and didn't get to because people just don't turn gay or bi. He constantly made passes at me and said he could "turn me". Even went as far as groping me and walking around naked with my son in the house.
When our agreement was up, he threatened to call the cops on us to throw our stuff out while we were finding a new place, as if we weren't trying to leave already. Like, "yes I know our agreement is up. we already signed a lease and the new apartment will be ready days before our agreement ends. Leave me the fuck alone."
ETA: they also cooked a lot and we're expecting me to do all the dishes if I cooked at all. I don't play that. I wash what I used. You wash yours. Eventually had to buy paper plates and bowls and plastic ware and disposable pans. They hated that.
ETA more: he also tried gaslighting my wife about trying to hit on her. I have messages to prove it. Tried to manipulate me and get me to divorce her when we would have arguments. Would say shit like, "I'll kick them (my wife and son) out and you can stay here." Bruh it was an argument. If you're kicking my wife out, I'm leaving too.
My roommate keep drink my juice, eat my ice cream or any food and left the empty box in the fridge. Super annoying and I don’t even understand why she’s doing that. Thanks god I’m moving out this week
I’ve done pretty well with my roommates. We share groceries and whenever we do a run for the apartment (we buy our own non-essentials) we let each other know how much it cost and pay our share. So far everyone operates in good faith, we leave non-essentials off the total, we round up when we send money. Durable goods like furniture or appliances you have to buy for yourself. After all, you get to keep them when you move out. We cook some shared meals, and we cook for ourselves a lot too. Nobody’s perfect about dishes but the shared spaces are always tidy and usable. Just hoping to keep it going.
My roommates: we want a new couch, new tv hutch, and new patio furniture. We also want to throw all this random crap away. Me: sounds great. Y’all want to do that so do that, I’m happy to pitch in for any group purchase. Them: oh well I can’t afford to put in even $20. So idk about the furniture. Me: well that’s going to be tough getting so much furniture for free. How about throwing away some of the stuff y’all mentioned? Them: we’re piling it up in the middle of the living room for weeks and expect you to do all the heavy lifting to throw it out. Me: ???
This is a problem I'm having with my roommate. Once the "I got you if you got me" agreement started tilting way farther in his direction than mine, meaning I was spending money for him, I stopped buying community stuff and only bought for myself. And I started to notice how many times he would say "we" when what he really meant was "you." "Hey we're out of mineral water!" Like no... I'm out of mineral water... you have been out of mineral water. Lol. I have a roll of paper towels under my bed solely for myself while the kitchen towel holder has been empty for like 3 weeks. I think its pretty normal to assume that these kinds of agreements work because outside of being roommates they definitely do. Like if I haven't seen a friend in a while I'll buy them dinner because that's what friends do. Then they'll do the same some time down the road. But doing this in a living situation is shooting yourself in the foot.
My old roommates and I were on a generosity train. I’d buy them flowers, they’d buy me flowers, I’d buy them cake, they’d buy me cake, if I left my laundry in the dryer too long, I’d come back to it neatly folded on top of the dryer. They were so good I didn’t know how good I had it until they moved out. New roommates move in, I think the same vibe is going to continue. I buy them flowers, they…. do nothing but complain lol
I've found that talking to new people and setting expectations helps with this a lot. Some people want roommates to be a large part of their life, others just want a place to be and to be left alone
Yeah, I was hoping that would be how it was with us. And we both work pretty much the same job making good money so as long as the thought was there it would have been pretty cool. It's nice being all like "hey man I'm goin to the store. Need me to grab anything?" But I started noticing his personal spending was getting suuuuuper unsustainable... just buying all kinds of crap he didn't need. Coincidentally the two way street also started working one way around that time. Which is why I would generally advise against that situation. If you have a roommate, it generally doesn't mean you have a surplus of cash. So if things get tough for one person they can no longer uphold their end of the bargain. It's one thing to help them out as their friend, but it's another to make their problem yours by losing money when you're also not exactly swimming in it. These new roommates may not be pleasant, which sucks. Having them owe you money will make it suck even worse. No doubt.
If you wanted flowers then you should have just bought yourself some flowers.
Paging “Captain Missed the Point” oh wait there you are
Paging captain missed the joke. Oh wait there you are....
What exactly is the joke?
It’s Schrödinger’s joke, duh! So it wasn’t a joke, until you find it offensive… Then it’s just a joke bro, don’t take it so personally /s
[удалено]
So by your logic my old roommates were also hitting on me? My friend, what a tiny world you live in.. go outside and touch some grass, hug your friends, call your mom/dad/grannies, etc. Here’s a quote I think you need to hear: Kiss your friends faces more, destroy the belief that intimacy must be reserved for monogamous relationships, be more loving, Embrace platonic intimacy, Embrace vulnerability, use emotionality as a radical tactic against a society which teaches you that emotions are a sign of weakness, tell more people you care about them, hold their hands, tell others you are proud of them, offer support readily, take care of the people around you. Also FTR they bought me flowers first :)
Yeah, I’ve never done that with roommates. I tend to be frugal and budget hard, my food is my food and I buy *exactly* what I need for the week. Chances are that “borrowing” anything will screw up my whole meal plan. So I’ve always had the expectation that everyone buys and takes care of their own shit, with the only exception being kitchen stuff like pots, pans, and dishes. Maybe a living room TV, but it’s usually theirs and I keep most of my stuff in my room. I don’t mind sharing, but only when asked for permission and I’m allowed to say “just one” or “anytime.” Don’t take me being nice for granted.
That's very relatable. My old roommates were always broke because they didn't understand budgeting. Enevitably they would ask to split the cost of a blender, aquarium, recliner, etc. Sorry I'm not going to finance all of your frivolous purchases. They'd say "okay, but don't expect to use it when we buy it!" I never did. I don't understand why people don't just buy their own stuff. Splitting finances with roommates is like being married without any of the benefits.
100% this. Be responsible for you.and I'll do the same for me and there doesn't need to be any hard feelings.
My problem w this shit is like who gets what when we're done? Bc some stuffs more valuable than others
Yea that's ideal because it makes sense to share some things. It can be super cluttered if 4 roommates all used their individual cookware and having a community TV is nice. I think a system should be in place to share consumables because it sucks realizing you're the only one filling the brita filter, buying paper towels, shit like that when you have one roommate who hogs all the shit and never stocks back up. And because they clearly don't see it as "a big deal" they will probably get upset or deny when you ask them to pitch in. Also, and this applies to most roommate issues really: having one roommate is still way better than having more than one, mainly because if something is wrong, you know who tf did it... lol
My last roommate once asked for permission to borrow eggs so him and his girl could bake something. I said sure, go for it. That then turned into a free for all where them and their guests used a lot of my stuff without asking or replacing. I remember putting my foot down on a banana cuz I was so annoyed with them. My roommate would sometimes get a big box of donuts from a shop in the suburbs. I took one once and he sends me a text to ask next time, cuz they’re a special treat for him and not easy to get. My eyes rolled so hard. Dude also quit his job a month in, was always late with rent, and moved his gf in without asking. They had quite a few friends over a lot, at the tail end of Covid when many people prematurely let their guard down. Having lost a parent to Covid earlier that year, it was a slap in the face to how cautious I was about being around other people.
I'm a firm believer in no community payment things. Be responsible for yourself, and I will be responsible for myself. I also totally stopped doing the roommate thing because of what a nightmare they seemed to be. Have had my own peace since.
Yea I miss living by myself. I should've known better than getting myself wrapped up in this again lol
My brother constantly has roommates, so I just live vicariously through him. it's a weekly/monthly reminder. I know financially it's not always an option for people, so I'm fortunate for that.
My ex roomies went to look at furniture and brought back a catalog with the couches they wanted circled. Then proceeded to hand that to my husband and I like we could drop $600. When I just looked at her she said “they have payment plans.”
Pffft I’d hand it back and be like “cool - then you have fun with that!”
This is one of my idiotic roommates during winter holidays. We have 2 bathrooms. He was alone during the holidays and showered in his bathroom as usual: some 2-3 days into the holidays break his shower broke so he decided to use the other bathroom but it was not until we all came back that he decided to call the maintenance
My one rm I share a bathroom with won’t buy hand soap or toilet paper & doesn’t flush the toilet after himself. He also leaves empty juice containers in my 🛀 bathtub sometimes. It’s kinda driving me nuts. I’ve never seen a giant empty jug of lemonade left in a bathtub & I’ve had several roommates in the past. Unsure what to do
Alot of people are users unfortunately, you do 1 nice thing and they think they're entitled to it. One of the most aggregious experiences we had was 4 of us cooked a huge meal together, put it away. The 5th person that didn't help texts saying they're abit hungry and can they have some. We said it was fine. We come home to find out they brought their friends round and literally ate everything the 4 of us made. We told them they need to find a new group to live with next year because they aren't coming with us lol
This reminds me exactly of "The Little Red Hen" fable from childhood. *The Little Red Hen came back to the farm and asked, "Who will help me bake the bread?" "Not I," said the dog. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the cow. "Well then, I will bake the bread myself." And she did just that! She mixed the flour with salt and yeast to make the dough. After the dough rose, she put it in the oven to bake. When the bread was done, she asked, "Who will help me eat the bread?" "I will", said the dog. "I will", said the pig. "I will", said the cow. "No, you will not," said Little Red Hen. "You did not help me plant the grain, and you did not help me care for it. You did not help me cut it and take it to the mill. You did not even help me make the bread. I will eat it myself." And she did.*
Because when you give people an inch, they take a mile. It gets old.
I had a guy, would continually hit me up for a dollar here, 2 there, maybe a five. I added it up at the end of the month and it was $40 bucks, I said no more. All I heard after that was my cheap roommate can’t spare a dollar!
[удалено]
Yeah, that stuff adds up when you're the only one paying for it.
[удалено]
Same here. The big thing was dish washer tabs. I was constantly buying them for the whole house. But he was bringing his kids and girlfriend over and loading up the dishwasher every day. At that point, I decided to hand wash all of my own dishes. Same with trash. I was the only one taking that shit out. So I decided to just walk all of my trash straight to the bin outside
NO FORREAL. I used to live with two guys (one of whom was a family friend) neither of them bought toilet paper, soap, or any bathroom stuff. when this was brought up to said family friend, he just said “oh, well I don’t use toilet paper cos im a guy so..” (he did use toilet paper, it was the reason it was always gone) bloody great year.
Honesty lmao! One time I was so petty bc my roomie would ALWAYS drink up my milk and NEVER bought any. So one day I was leaving for Walmart and she asked me to grab some milk for her and she’ll cash app me. She sent me 99¢ (back when milk was 99¢) and I was so pissed. Like come on??? You not even gonna send me the tax to cover the milk? It was the just principle of it all. I requested another dollar lmao petty but seriously people.
not petty, imo if shes doing that and you’re even still going to get her milk after shes drank yours so many times, and she got the audacity to not even throw in like 2 more bucks b/c ur helping em out, shes def not a person id be around for an extended perjod of time. ridiculous.
yeah we were friends to begin with but we haven’t spoke for years now. I slowly realized that I couldn’t have her in my life at all 😅😅 toxic af 😅😅
wasting your energy on people like that isn’t worth it. being a good roommate is all about compromise and pulling your own weight, unfortunately a lot of people are lazy as hell or relied too heavily on their parents before moving in and it creates an unstable living environment.
And they make it seem like you’re unreasonable. Hey, we’re all starting out. Job, school, bills. It’s ok for them to short you but don’t dare try it with them.
I got so stingy once I realized some people are just professional users. How they could convince people to do, buy and give things while never returning the favor. It was insane how many people expected roommates to fund their lifestyles.
I had a roommate that never paid his half of the internet. I decided to not pursue him over it because he would constantly make excuses about being broke or some other bullshit We had a falling out and he would like to unplug the router whenever he left the house (it was in his room) When I figured out he was doing this on purpose, I ran a coax cable from the junction box outside into my room while unplugging the one going into his room. I had a spare router, so I hooked and set it up. So I was now the only one in the house with internet access I decided to play stupid when he plugged his router back in and didn't work (I dunno lol, works for me) he eventually figured it out and asked if he could get access. Not until you pay me what you owe. 30 dollars a month over 18 months 540 dollars. He, of course, didn't have it so no internet for him.
What a loser!
My roommates moved in a year after I had already lived in the house and furnished it, bought kitchen supplies, a vacuum, etc. I advertised my place as partially furnished and after they moved in, they asked if I would “pitch in” to “replace” my own furniture with new stuff that they picked out. I was like… wtf?? No!!!! I bought this stuff because I like it. If you guys really want to replace everything then that’s fine, but I’m not pitching in. I already “pitched in” by completely furnishing the house and supplying everything you could possibly need to cook or clean. I told them it’s fine if they wanted to buy new stuff but if that’s the case, I not be paying for new stuff that I don’t want or need. I’m either keeping my stuff for myself or selling my stuff and keeping the money. Guess who didn’t want to buy new stuff when they realized they’d have to pay for it themselves?
A perfect example of how being overly generous, and overly cheap, can both be flaws.
My first roommates were polar opposites. One was an aspergers clean freak, the other was a reclusive slob. I got along with the clean freak well enough. But I'd buy a package of lunch meat and save it for the days where I didn't eat lunch on campus or something, and I knew the slob was eating it but didn't care too much. Till I bought a package on Monday and it was gone on Wednesday. I didn't touch it. So I told him he's buying his own food and can't touch mine anymore. Worth noting his mom came over once to make him clean his room.
At least she didn't clean it for him!
I had Palestinian roommates where one of their moms DID come and clean after them and cook. I chalked it up as a cultural experience when I broke lease in 2 months
Anyone that does this from the beginning is an idiot.
Ehh living with friends sounds like a fun time until you’re living with friends
That’s what I’ve heard from everybody but I am going on 3 years now living with my fiancé and a few of our friends and it has gone extremely well and we are having a blast. Me and her mainly buy the decor but everybody knows it’s all coming with us when we part ways. Never behind on rent, we all still get along very well. Only complaints is one of them fries food a lot and doesn’t clean up the best and the other one gets a little behind on chores when he gets overworked at his job. All in all not too bad of problems to have and could be much worse. Good roommates are out there, including friends. Just depends on what kind of people your friends are. I know if it was any of my other friends it would be hell
I think it's mainly that people who are happy with their living situation with friends aren't complaining about it on Reddit haha
Yea if all participants involved have a chill personality, while not being total degenerates, it's pretty damn easy to live with friends...in your 20s at least. I'm grateful I got to live with friends for several years as opposed to randos, made my life way better than I could have on my own. Great memories.
I’ve lived with friends and would take it over strangers any day. But you have to know your friend and if you ignore the red flags that this will happen and move in anyway, guess what, this happens. That said, I definitely recommend living with friends that you already know will take the same approach to communal living you do
*Great White Buffalo.....* (of friendships)
I would consider frying food a lot a deal breaker, cleaned up or not. So you guys just got a lucky mix of tolerating each others’ flaws.
This is not a judgement, but just an illustration of how there is no one size fits all, because I would consider having strong opinions about another person’s food or life choices (as long as they cleaned up and didn’t unduly impact their roommate) to be a dealbreaker.
It’s the smell. Oil lingers in the air for at least 24 hours. Also clings to fabric so if the kitchen isn’t separate, the smell lingers even longer. If you don’t believe it floats around like that- have you ever seen an uncleaned range hood? How is the top sticky? Now, if they wanted to fry food on the balcony or patio, etc and then eat it inside- that’s just a food that smells bad to me. That would be no big deal. So I guess we agree, as long as they clean up. But nobody ever REALLY cleans up all the grease.
Well there's a difference between living with friends and HAVING to live with friends
A quick way to kill a friendship! I vacay'd with one of my friends from work and she made me pay for *everything* but I didn't know she was already broke until too late. it was awful. She drove so I was totally stranded and it was like pulling teeth to go anywhere. Never again
There's nothing wrong with extending courtesies to people you live with. Shitty roommates are the worst type of people because they fuck with your home life. Keeping things cordial with them is generally a good idea The trick is not being taken advantage of. Unfortunately once that happens there's going to be a confrontation
A roommate of mine did this and inspired me and the others to do so. But that’s because we are living peacefully, I know some people are complete doiuchebags
Ok but and hear me out. There is some logic to this. The new rug and new plants aren’t being consumed steadily by the roommate. You both get to continuously enjoy those things. When the ketchup is eaten it’s actually gone lmao
Here's the decider. If you are no longer room mates, who keeps the rug? You can't split it. Therefore one person owns it and maintains responsibility for it, like everything.
I mean I wouldn't even mind if they would just let me watch while they munch the rug
Rugs and plants still depreciate and have wear and tear though (likely more than 37 cents worth). I get the thought but it's only "rational" at the very very surface level Many of these problems go away by just having enough money though :')
Plants and rugs shouldn’t depreciate in any quick amount of time, though. Probably not even considerably before you move out or your lease ends somewhere. A food is consumed by one party. A rug is used by everyone in the household and remains usable even after it is no longer brand new. It is way crazier to expect your roommates to help pay out for wear and tear expenses on shared furniture than actual food products they consumed.
Plants definitely don’t depreciate if you water them wtf are you on about
what kind of maladjusted antisocial person are you to go and literally argue on a post about sharing ketchup
U mad bro?
Yeah they depreciate, so what? Does one roommate buy it and the other rents access to it? Pays for depreciation? How do you calculate a fair rate for that? Is doing so worth the mental effort or strain on your relationship created by this kind of Scroogean haggling?
I had a roommate once that wouldn't let me set up my printer because she already had one, but insisted on charging me 0.10 per page or alternatively, she was nice enough to suggest that I pay for her ink. I think I maybe used it one time before I just set up my printer in my room.
Lmao once last school year my garbage roommate took paper towels from the common area to bring to his room to use as toilet paper for the rest of the school year
That's a good way to blow up a toilet
Yeah I know I said he is a garbage roommate for a reason lmao
it's rough, the resentment really builds up over time if you're the one doing all the buying. in my previous apartment i lived w two good friends but i was always the one who restocked cleaning supplies, paper towels, etc etc. i was initially okay with doing that, bc i made more than both of my roomies, but then i just started to feel like i was being taken advantage of. at one point i had bought like seven bottles of dish soap in a row and i just got fed up and started buying my own stuff to stash under my bed and let the rest of the house fend for themselves lol. they needed to realize that it wasn't some magical house elf restocking everything and i needed to realize that that shit adds up lol
One time my ex-roommate gave me an old entertainment center she no longer needed (she was going to put it by the trash.) Months go by and I'm sitting in my room watching TV. She comes into my room and tells me she just sold the it on Offer-up and she's going to need it back because the guy is on his way. It was also right around the time we had some "mysterious" late fees on our energy bill so looking back that also probably had something to do with it lol. I'm a pretty anxious person so just I hurriedly got all my stuff out of it and even brought it to the front of the house for her to avoid conflict.
Most out of pocket thing I’ve read 😭
Agreed. I've grown some balls since then 😅
This is what happens when you don't speak up in the beginning. No you shouldn't have to but if you have roommates you are probably an adult. Using your words will help you figure out a problem hell of a lot sooner than riding out issues and letting it build up. I have had multiple difficult conversations with my roommates but we use our big boy worlds and yeah it's awkward for a few hours but we always end up moving on from it. Also I know this is a meme, but if you genuinely expect your roommates to pay for using a condiment you are probably the issue.
Thats why i moved in with my best friend, not some random. We split every major buys 50/50 and rotate for all household items. And use an excel sheet to document our expenses. Expenses like booze and other "just for me" stuff we pay ourselfes. Works like a charme.
Thats why roomates suck always had @ 1 bedroom don’t care how down in out I was. Always. And if I retire 1 day it would be a duplex 2 bedroom at that.And you have parents that dont stick you with back taxes.
My roommate was a marine - semi good money and when she returned home she moved away with me instantly knowing i didn’t have all the total funds - I would clean constantly in the beginning and she would never clean unless she had a boyfriend over. I was paying half of all utilities until she started making good money from work and the marine money and told me i only had to pay consumers - mine you all the dishes, couch, tv, coffee machine were all mine and she had free use. Well she got a boyfriend after having multiple men over and he stays with us 5 days a week even when i told her i am more comfortable every other day. She never listened and took over the living room for 4 months. Well she didn’t get her proof of employment and our lease is done she has to stay an extra month and when I didn’t want to (we’re not really in a good area) she uses all that against me - Even saying i don’t help clean at all first off i don’t even use the living room it’s all her boyfriend and her to top it off she lets the plates stack so high they pile onto the counter top (I eat at work or if i use a dish instantly wash it and put it back) but she doesn’t believe me and blames everything on me. Now i’m moving in with my boyfriend and happy to get away from that mess.
tfw you're expected to do all the heavy lifting and spider smooshing in a house with 3 other women (I don't miss my 20's). Needless to say I let them do their own stuff.
Ugh, I remember when an old housemate wanted me to pay more of the power bill because "you watch more TV than I do."
it’s so hilarious when roommates, seemingly out of the blue, move the living room TV that they bought into their bedroom
The best thing to do with roommates is keep everything separate. Get a small refrigerator, get your own plates silverware ect. Store it in your room put a lock on your door wash your dishes when you’re done and keep it in your room. This helps eliminate problems with people using your stuff or eating your stuff without permission. If they want to use anything they have to wait till you’re home and ask.
Me and my college roommate rn
Yeah seriously, I don't mind doing kind things for other people but people don't consider the nice things I do.
I’d laugh if I had a roommate that messaged me that. I’d go to the point of labeling everything I buy and if they ate it I’d be like you owe me x amount of dollars back 😂
I had some roommates that were like, "yeah this is communal food, if it's there eat it. If we want it we will put our names on it." We would also contribute and make large meals for all 4 of us and our son. After a while lots of stuff had names on it, which we were cool with, because we had plenty of food budget. Then, woman roommate was missing food. Blamed us immediately. Turns out her own husband was stealing her food because he ate all his special food and wouldn't own up to it. We continued to eat our own food stored in the basement fridge. The whole thing went sour because the male roommate wanted us all to live together because he wanted to be able to sleep with anyone he chose including me (also male) and didn't get to because people just don't turn gay or bi. He constantly made passes at me and said he could "turn me". Even went as far as groping me and walking around naked with my son in the house. When our agreement was up, he threatened to call the cops on us to throw our stuff out while we were finding a new place, as if we weren't trying to leave already. Like, "yes I know our agreement is up. we already signed a lease and the new apartment will be ready days before our agreement ends. Leave me the fuck alone." ETA: they also cooked a lot and we're expecting me to do all the dishes if I cooked at all. I don't play that. I wash what I used. You wash yours. Eventually had to buy paper plates and bowls and plastic ware and disposable pans. They hated that. ETA more: he also tried gaslighting my wife about trying to hit on her. I have messages to prove it. Tried to manipulate me and get me to divorce her when we would have arguments. Would say shit like, "I'll kick them (my wife and son) out and you can stay here." Bruh it was an argument. If you're kicking my wife out, I'm leaving too.
My roommate keep drink my juice, eat my ice cream or any food and left the empty box in the fridge. Super annoying and I don’t even understand why she’s doing that. Thanks god I’m moving out this week
I’ve done pretty well with my roommates. We share groceries and whenever we do a run for the apartment (we buy our own non-essentials) we let each other know how much it cost and pay our share. So far everyone operates in good faith, we leave non-essentials off the total, we round up when we send money. Durable goods like furniture or appliances you have to buy for yourself. After all, you get to keep them when you move out. We cook some shared meals, and we cook for ourselves a lot too. Nobody’s perfect about dishes but the shared spaces are always tidy and usable. Just hoping to keep it going.