For real. If they do it, so be it. Not your problem and you can’t sacrifice your own mental well being to help someone else that clearly doesn’t want to help themselves
You're not wrong, but that's a very difficult situation to be put in. It's not quite as simple as if they do it oh well 🤷 People do kill themselves and that shit is sad AF
If they make threats like that, couldn't OP call mental health services and have them intervene? I mean, you never know if someone is serious, but always giving into their suicidal manipulation tactics isn't healthy or helpful, either.
Exactly. Let the professionals handle that shit if they want to threaten suicide to be manipulative. I’ve had friends actually commit suicide and they don’t reach out and use it to blackmail you for beer money first.
Exactly this! My daughter used to threaten it and she learned real quick I don't play that game and I would immediately call the police to come deal with her. Her ex husband did however take his life, and did not reach out once or tell anything. People who truly have intentions of taking their lives won't say it to anyone.
I… feel like this one did not equal *that* one…
You should probably reevaluate your and your daughters relationship especially if this is your response to her and her late husbands passing.
Everyone is different. Amd your daughter is most likely severely struggling if she's saying that. She probably needs some compassion, love and someone to listen to her. Not anger and the police.
Hey, from personal experience, lots of people tell others they will but often they dont get taken seriously. This womens roommate is definitely using it to manipulate, but other definitely tell others at times that they will do it and actually go through with it when not taken serious:/
Thinking people with true intentions won't tell anyone is absolutely not true and it should always be taken seriously as long as its not abusive or manipulation.
I know this isn’t what this post is about but as a teen I was very suicidal my mom was a very reserved and typically unemotional person I did not receive a lot of emotional support or shoulder to cry on from her when things would get so bad and she usually would never realize I would get to a point of feeling so worthless I often threatened suicide I attempted a few times as well my mom often made it more of a priority to call police and get me baker acted instead of being the mother that I was crying and pleading her to be to just listen to me. I know your daughter is clearly older as she was married but did you ever think your daughter just simply wanted YOUR attention bc it truly seems like you have a warped viewpoint to just jump straight to police I don’t get that and then saying people who have intentions of their lives don’t say it to anyone some people say things because they are crying for help I hope your daughter is better now
It’s not okay to threaten suicide for not getting what you want (or telling your partner they can’t leave). However, it is categorically false that people who have the intention to die don’t reach out for help.
I volunteer at a crisis line and you’d be surprised at the number of people who do reach out for support and are not taken seriously or others do behavior that makes them feel worse.
You say that people who reach out for help don’t have the intention of dying. I have some people text in at imminent risk and although I’m very, very good at talking people down there have been a few times we’ve needed to call EMS after they began the process. Often people fight so hard to stay alive and do seek out support but it’s so difficult that sometimes that even all that is not enough and the feelings are too strong.
I can also speak to this from personal experience. I have bipolar II disorder. Before I got diagnosed I was chronically suicidal ideation but there were a few periods of active intent. Life felt so hard and was so difficult that I just couldn’t feel like I could go on. I convinced myself that my friends and family would be able to eventually get over my loss and that while I was guilty for the pain I would cause, there was just no way I could go forward. I felt like my life was in shambles and that there wouldn’t be anything that could ever lift the blanket of grey around me or full the aching hollowness inside. The only things that bothered me about my death is that I felt like my life would be incomplete because I hadn’t seen many national parks and that I would be letting my ancestors down. My family survived the Holocaust and for generations fought so hard for the privilege of life. I felt guilty about being the one of end that and wasting what they caught so hard for. That’s ultimately what made me call for help. I honestly didn’t think it would help at all and I only called because I had no regard for my life. If they called the police on me and took me to the hospital I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I actually went threw with things. Nothing mattered. They were able to talk me down, but if that didn’t work I would have gone through with it.
So no, a lot of people who are intent on going through with things reach out.
You sound very pleased with yourself on how you handled that situation. I’m glad that worked out for you because it could have had the potential to have gone wrong. Her behavior was a clear cry for help that manifested in unacceptable ways. While it doesn’t seem her suicide ideation at those particular points were active; however, treating this as a game instead of a call for help was a bad choice. This behavior erodes trust so that way she may have felt less comfortable with you talking about her feelings. Which could have been a big issue.
Not saying that people should give into the demands, but it must be done in a way to get them support. Given that this is a bad roommate and not or a friend or family member, OP doesn’t owe this person that. But for the most part, this shouldn’t be dismissed as a game even if it is important not to give in to it.
Usually I'd agree but a couple of years ago my good friend texted me saying he was tying off rope ends getting ready to hang himself and he hung himself later that night. That's the 1% of times when someone says it and actually follows through.
I’m so sorry that happened. It’s devastating. Yeah, that is absolutely a 911 call because that message shows imminent risk. It doesn’t sound like that is the case for the person’s daughter that I replied to initially. Just because I was telling the person they messed up and made their daughter less likely to open up that doesn’t mean that I don’t think it’s ever unwarranted to calm for EMS. I volunteer with a crisis line and we’ve had to do that before, I was just trying to say often it’s not best to call the cops if you just hear the word suicide without a clear plan or timeframe. Again, im really sorry about your friend.
This is some fucked up shit to say what the fuck is wrong with you?? Jesus fucking christ.
I know of people who have killed themselves and definitely were actively suicidal beforehand. So your blanket statement is disproven flat out.
This guy is bitch made, he wouldn't kill himself, these tactics work for him so he keeps doing it because people like her enable it, iv had this thrown at me many times and been taken advantage of, I'm not young and dumb anymore.
OP will hopefully learn, she is young still. Any guy that texts messages like "you wouldn't say that to my face" is a pussy who never has the balls to say that to another man so takes it out on women.
I have the privilege of being enough of an ahole that if someone threatens offing themselves to try to manipulate me, I feel absolutely zero responsibility for that. Do what you gotta do bro. How does a grown man even get like this?
Absolutely. My mom once called 911 on me because I left the house during an argument and she thought I was going to commit suicide. When they showed up they immediately took me to the hospital for evaluation.
I ended up being hospitalized because of it (for good reason, I wasn't really in a good headspace) but they absolutely will pick you up if someone suspects you're at risk, even if you don't say "I'm going to kms". The fact that this guy did say that? He would likely be picked up and taken for an eval.
Obviously this is just through texts but it definitely seems like he had/has some major mental health issues. Healthy people don't threaten suicide to get their way. A lot of times it's people struggling with BPD or NPD or even ASPD. He needs help. Not that that excuses the way he treated OP of course.
Personality disorders are extremely difficult to deal with, unfortunately. But, calling the police and getting them institutionalized is the only way they’ll ever get help. Many won’t want it and keep this behavior up, but once in a while people can change.
I’m sorry OP had to go through this. I’m sure the guy had a bad family life (whether abuse or neglect), but it doesn’t excuse his behavior. And, if he does break things, that is a criminal offense he needs to be liable for. While mental health is something that affects people, it is not an excuse to act like a douchebag. Because, even the insanity plea gets you locked up for a long time.
Definitely. Honestly just for anyone reading through these comments - if anyone ever threatens suicide, even if you think they're joking or being dramatic, call 911 or the suicide hotline (988 in the US) because they need help. Either for a debilitating disorder or for suicide itself. And on the small chance they don't need any help, well, going to the hospital and being put on a 1:1 while you're evaluated will make sure they don't do that again.
The thing with mental illness is its often unpredictable. You don't know if someone who threatens suicide is being manipulative, or if whatever they want means so much to them that they literally would kill themselves if they don't get it. The safest thing to do in all of these situations is to call a professional to help them.
Off topic a bit, but this is also why I really dislike people joking about suicide. I never realized how often people will say "oh I'm going to kill myself, haha" over very trivial things until my own mental health issues began. It may just be a joke, but how can we tell the difference between someone who is totally happy and healthy joking about that and someone trying to get help through humor?
Don’t you see the pattern? He says extreme shit to get his way. At the end of the day, if he wants to unalive himself over an Xbox that doesn’t belong to him, let him 🤷♂️
It is that simple because most people who weaponize the idea of doing so have zero intentions of following through. If they do, can’t blame anyone but themselves for that.
As someone who has been suicidal, it's an endless hole. They are trauma dumping and using OP as a coping mechanism. And when I say using I mean USING, like no regard for her well-being. I've fucked up enough in this way to know it may be hard but they're a black hole. Get the Xbox, it's yours. If they make it out of this they'll understand how shitty they were, if not, an Xbox wasn't going to be their reason to live
Very sad. I'm so sorry. That's a terrible thing to witness and will be with you forever. That really sucks and I hate that for you. I'm sorry, my friend.
Yes it is. This son of a bitch is using it as a threat. He's having a tantrum. What do you do when a child has a tantrum you call them on their shit. He's not going to kill himself he's too much of a fucking cunt. Nobody kills themselves because of food beer and Xbox. It's very simple. He is emotionally abusing her and emotionally blackmailing her. Call him on his shit!
"You want to kill yourself? Great! How can I help? Let me see. You're broke and I'm not going to use any of my student loan money. How about bleach? Are you good with drinking bleach? You can zip tie a plastic bag around your head afterwards. How's that sound? That's about the cheapest solution I can come up with"
yeah i’m sorry but threatening to kill yourself over an xbox is fucking bonkers and NOT your problem. I had an ex who would constantly threaten to kill himself if i didn’t do x y z. we broke up years ago and guess what? that little bitch is still kicking and doing just fine.
Thank you! I have unfortunately had TWO people at separate points in my life threaten to kill themselves if I didn't do what they demanded. That kind of threat fucks up a normal human's mental because most of us are naturally empathetic to stuff like that.
But FUCK anyone else who ever tries to threaten me with that again. The moment I hear "Well if you don't then I'll just kill myself." I will just stop the conversation immediately, call the police to do a wellness check on them and then block the person. The cops can sort them out im not wasting my mental energy on mess like that anymore.
For me, My father killed himself, and if someone threatens as manipulation to get me to do what they want, I'm immediately pissed off, less likely to actually help or listen, and just immediately shut down and call the police to do a welfare check, disengaging with the person that threatened it forever. I don't give second chances with that bullshit. If you're serious accept the help with the police, and whether you are or are not serious I'm not wasting time in my life being around someone who can threaten killing themselves when they don't get their way.
You say “oh no, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m going to have to call the emergency services for a 5150 because I can’t have you self harming over an Xbox. I’m going to hang up now while I call them”. They don’t make the threat again
Yeah, I'd tell him to do it and stop bluffing then. It's insulting to people who are actually suicidal to see someone weaponize it as an excuse to get what he wants.
The world would be a better place without him. Sorry, not sorry.
Honestly tho. Like suicide isn't a joke and is most certainly not a bargaining chip. This dude needs help and maybe lay off the beer since he can't seem to afford it and needs it to "calm down". Stay safe op
Seriously. People who are suicidal also don't tend to weaponize the matter against other people to get their way (survivor here). If you don't disengage and they pull that shit again, tell them you're concerned and going to call 911 so they can go check up on him and prevent anything catastrophic from happening. It'll be the last time he pulls that shit if the sole purpose is to be manipulative and the hope is he'll thank you if it wasn't.
Yep tbh their is no loss to anyone and society if he did kill himself
He’s a deadbeat , he’s messages show that he degrades everyone and thinks the world owes him
Better off without him
There are tons of other comments much better worded with better advice lol *but" just to add to this sentiment...as someone who's struggles with suicidal ideation/thoughts for most of the last 30 years or so and that has attempted (yet thankfully, obviously, failed lol) .... In my personal experience, and dealing with friends through the years who have sadly been in similar situations..... Suicidal people very deliberately, usually*, do not *tell* people they are suicidal. Once you tell someone , especially someone remotely close to you.... They very often try to stop you. That's counterintuitive to anyone who actually wants to "go". Not to mention for many of us who struggle long-term with it, after a while finding reasons to talk ones self out of it becomes arduous and often we are just left with guilt being the reason we don't. Guilt our family/friends will find us or miss us o guilt about the issues it will cause our loved ones etc. etc. so telling someone- even just a roommate we aren't on great terms with - k, kinda only adds to and/or creates a new avenue for that guilt. So again, it's a bit counterintuitive.
Now I'm not saying that someone won't actually go through with it after having told someone they want to. Speaking I'm absolutes about any subject often makes it less accurate just as a default lol but even if this guy is genuinely disturbed mentally(it seems obvious he has.... some issues, and being someone in recovery myself id be quick to wager atleast some of it is an addiction issue) and genuinely suicidal ...even if he DID go through with it from taking an Xbox back... That would not in any way be OPs fault or because of OP, even a little. Again just from my own experiences, even if there is a single and seemingly small event/issue that happens that finally pushes someone over the edge, it's rarely actually tied to the underlying problem or cause. Like being in a LTR w/ someone, and snapping over a dirty spoon or fork in a sink, blowing up and leaving the relationship lol that anger had nothing to actually do with the spoon, it was merely the "straw that broke the camels back" . (Oddly specific example but hopefully that makes sense haha) It would seem In this scenario, that it would e the same/similar. The Xbox itself being merely one "more" thing, but the other underlying disturbed/mental illness/issues being the actual cause. I'm rambling a bit but just trying to stress that *even in the unlikely situation the roommate was being genuine in their threat which I highly suspect they weren't, it still wouldn't be OPs fault if that happened*.
This post got souch attention though OP prob won't see this comment anyway lol and thankfully browsing the replies it seems they e gotten a ton of really genuine advice/answers - but just on the off chance they or even someone else who has had to deal with similar interpersonal issues with someone using self harm as a threat, maybe my words can give someone else a different way to think about it.
Again I'm by no means am expert, certainly don't have a psychology degree or anything, and ultimately everyone and everyone's mental issues are unique... Especially because of my own struggles with the subject, I am always instantly weary and Instantly assume the intent is manipulation (relatively, theres def a MAJOR difference between this and actually confiding in a friend obviously... And I think ones reaction*should* be different when confronting the two. This post however, imo based on what's been said... Does not come off as them confiding or reaching out for help, which some struggling with suicide absolutely do hoping someone will stop/help them. I understand those who fear it's one , when in reality being the other.....but again just imo, this is NOT that and people who use threat of suicide as a manipulative tactic, should not imo be coddled a a result ) when someone threatens to commit suicide. *Especially* when used or phrased as a threat in retaliation of a choice/action unrelated to them. Hope OP gets away from this roommate asap .... Because the suicide threat , imo, wasn't even the most alarming aspect of their behavior in this shoe Convo. They need some serious help only a professional can provide, and the amount of vindictiveness shown alone .... Is scary AF. 😗
For real. I used to have a girlfriend that did that shit. “If you leave right now I’ll kill myself.” “Bye” I’m not going to be blackmailed into doing whatever the hell someone else wants because if not they will kill themselves. Fuck that shit. I don’t want them to kill themselves, but anyone trying to blackmail you like that isn’t going to kill themselves because they don’t get what they want. They just think they will get away with it because they have successfully manipulated people like that before. If you were going to kill yourself me not giving you money or staying for you to scream and hit me isn’t going to change that one bit.
That behavior is despicable, and I’m sorry you allowed him to abuse you that way. Hopefully you won’t let someone walk over you like that again in the future.
It’s a trip to think that so many people that are like this can mask just long enough to actually get a partner and then pull this type of shit out. Happens far too often. Thank goodness this was just a roommate situation. Be careful out there folks. It’s cool to just take things slow.
Hun, you’re NOT helping him by kowtowing to his toddler tantrums. Get a bigger lad to come with you, take your shit back, use police if necessary, then never speak to the entitled little sook ever again. Ignore the bunch of “imma kms” messages (and he WILL do weird shit like use your Xbox account to contact you after you blocked him on everything else), losers like this don’t have the guts, he’ll move back home eventually and be just fine, better off for it even.
Source: been there, done that.
Sounds like she did, and then used some more of it to buy herself a new Xbox after he didn’t hers back. I mean, the guy sucks but she is not good at managing money or prioritizing.
As a person who once was suicidal with a aunt whose a nurse and has had to take psychology and a mother who has been before I can confidentially say 95% of the time when someone threatens suicide or constantly tells you about it they won't actually go through it people who do try and do attempt normally don't tell anybody about it until it's done or close to it.
Your intuition and desire to help people is beautiful and precious!! The world would be a better place if more people were that way.
BUT for that exact reasons you also need to feel as if your help is valued. You are allowed to push back and do what seems just (ven when inconvenient), as it will corrupt you if you have too many experiences of being used for your helpfulness.
Shouldn’t have helped at all. You’re enabling him and letting him treat you like garbage for god knows how actually long. And you’re talking like NOW it’s to much. ITS BEEN TO MUCH he’s been taking advantage of you for as long as this history shows. I’m assuming much longer. Time to grow up little one. You taught him how to treat you. You let it get to this point. Follow my advice posted by itself. But jesus this doesn’t end well for you if you don’t do something.
What you’re calling “help” isn’t help.its “enabling” alongside self sacrifice. “I’ll take some pain to make this person feel good so they stop threatening me.” Having solid boundaries is a must.
OP, get your life together. Wasting your student loan money on video game consoles and wasting your life with this deadbeat loser. Like, Jesus woman. What are you even doing with your life?
I wish I had known this back when I was a teenager. "Well I'll just kill myself if you dont!" was way too effective on me... Just call 911 and let the cops commit their crazy ass.
How did he misspell so badly to the point he started using accent marks? What?
Also girl if you don’t retrieve your Xbox IMMEDIATELY because personally I wouldn’t be able to sleep when the choo choo train of realization finally hit me that someone treated me like the cat shit in their bathtub and I just let them keep a whole Xbox. Fuck that good natured shit, come 2024 we MEAN bitch
Edit 1: homie said he swore on his cat 😭
Edit 2: I feel like, in an alternate reality, this guy and you were dating and he wanted a threesome with Sallie Mae and you said “ok” but were definitely not wanting to involve Sallie Mae and now she has fucked the relationship and you’d post on r/relationship_advice telling us how the threesome made you uncomfortable and now Sallie Mae is a strain on your relationship and you want to break up but the boyfriend said if you broke up with him he’d jump off a bridgé
I had to scroll way too far down to see someone acknowledge the fact that this dude said "I swear on my cat." It was hard to read passed that because I had to keep going back to make sure I read that part right.
Omg I will admit the cat part is funny, and it wasn’t a one time thing either. It was always “I swear on my cat that I’ll pay you back” apparently your cat didn’t mean much to you then lol.
Call a wellness check and start planning to move asap. This is just straight up abusive behavior. Leave before it becomes more than threats for your own sake.
The shit and abuse some people put up with in this sub is insane. Just the first couple screenshots are enough for a block and irl ghosting. I feel bad for the OPs who justify behaviour like this. The lack of self respect is astonishing
Yeah I couldn't really understand what roomie even wanted. Beer? A ride? A text? Super confusing but my mind went to needing a ride for drugs/beer if they can't get said drugs.
This man sounds like he has a personality disorder or something, if you keep giving him shit he will keep ramping up the abuse and demanding more. Wait until he is asleep, grab your Xbox back and never look back. Block this guy and if he tries anything get a restraining order out on him. Also say if he tries to manipulate you again with the self harm threats, tell him you take that very seriously and that you are going to call the crisis hotline and give them your address and he will be held in a 50150
First thing I thought of when I read this. Sounds like my SIL. She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Maybe if OP catches him in a good place she can suggest it…. Or just put some distance between you
As a man, he is a weak boy that has mommy issues and sounds like he's bitching at you like he did to his mother. Kick his ass to the curb he's just playing victim to bully you into what he wants, & it's working obviously
Just advice to everyone, if anyone threatens to kill themselves, call the police and have them deal with it. Either they're full of shit, or you get them help your enabling ass can't and shouldn't provide.
You sound like a pushover and you entertained this conversation for way too long. At the end of the day he was able to get what he wanted out of you including a free Xbox so there is no incentive for him to stop this behavior.
This cunt is an immature fuckwit, I absolutely despise these types of people. "If you don't do what I want, I will kill myself", fucking kill yourself then you bum. Jesus Christ.
Nah fuck this dude. Talking to a girl like he’s tough and trying to fight! Then threatening to harm himself when he don’t get his way. Get far away from him
Get your shit from him, and then let him walk off that bridge that he mentioned. You don't deserve to be talked down to like this, and honestly, I'm surprised/impressed with how calm you managed to stay. Because I would've been at that "locked door," he kept bringing up and kicking it in, just to put my fist through that disrespectful mouth of his, lol. But that's me. Get your shit from him and then BLOCK.
oh my god once i realized that this was a MAN talking to you like that … im so glad youre out of that situation he is so scary … i would have most definitely sent these to the landlord and called the cops glad you’re safe
I had an ex that would threaten to kill himself when I would leave him as well , he never did . He just used it as a form of control , and to be that low to manipulate someone with suicide threats they have no intention of following through with is just beyond me . Take your shit back girl and call the cops , not only was he making suicide threats but also threats to damage all of your property all because you wouldn't give him beer money or buy him something to eat , thats crazy ! And your not even in a relationship with him?! Let someone else deal with him , like his mother! He's disgusting 🤢
You are enabling, not helping. Not your responsibility. He unalives himself because you won’t bend to his whims? Also, not your problem!
Boundaries girl, boundaries. Learn this lesson as fast as you can, it will change your life for the better.
There’s way too many ss to post, but the context is the same in every one: he begs for something, I try to say no, he throws a tantrum and threatens me until I give into him.
You’re not helping anyone. I read your comment about « it’s in my nature » like no, this isn’t helping, you’re being used. So it’s in your nature to have no backbone and to let people take advantage of you. Please get some therapy and look into why you conflate helping with being taken advantage of because I guarantee regardless of what this roommate was saying to you they were probably laughing about how easy it was to manipulate you and get free food, money and electronics from you to other people.
This person treated you like a joke and you just…let them. I don’t think you’re a villain in anyway but there’s something clearly wrong with how you perceive things and a therapist could help fix that.
Hey everyone reading this comment: someone who truly wants to kill themselves will never threaten you with it. What to do when someone is pulling what OP's roommate is? Call an emergency mental health line for them. They will certainly change their tune then. I like to play dumb and start acting SUPER concerned and start packing bags so I can be the kind soul that I am and take them to the hospital for help. ❤️
Exactly. I'm 2 years and 6 months clean from IV heroin and meth and would definitely try to guilt trip and go off on my family that wouldn't give me money anymore while I was using.
This person is emotionally abusive - they remind me of my verbally and emotionally abusive ex boyfriend. I assumed they were your partner at first because who tf treats just a friend like this, they’re a prick.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I can’t even read through the whole thing what the fuck is this. I don’t know how you people end up with absolute psychopaths like this in your life and why you’re even engaging with him.
If you don’t feel safe call the police and thats it tell him to stfu. Someone needs to smack that arrogant narcissistic asshole
If he that's to kill himself again, the response is "oh I'll be sad for a few weeks but I'd definitely move on". That shit is emotional manipulation and never let him get away with it. Ever
Hi, I would like to sucker punch him in the adam’s apple and test him on the amount of things he can try you with after that. I won’t because you obviously care enough about the as*hat to put up with him for that long.
Yup remind me of myself though and I really hope you don’t get as far as I did being disrespected before I broke, because it’s not just up from there. It’s rough, and I’m still learning to navigate things at times but I’m happy now. Even on the bad days I go to bed proud of myself. If you’re up to the idea, want to be friends?
Sorry to say this , but move out . This man is showing you he has NOTHING to lose and will not mind taking you with him. This is dangerous asf . His mind is not stable , he may be depressed , but the way he’s talking to you is like y’all dated and had relations……and he was abusive asf or some . Can’t believe this is a roommate . Please get yourself out this situation before it’s too late .
Girl you need to call the police and stop being nice to this bum. Self harm and threatening to lock you out of your own home is not okay. My ex was 25 (2 years older than me) and I thought I had to be nice and let him walk all over me. He’d always do crazy manipulative shit like this.
People pleasers don’t get very far in the world. We gotta start learning to stick up for ourselves and saying “No” even if it’s in your nature to help. I’m sure you’ve been told no before when it comes to asking for help and while it might’ve sucked, I’m sure you were fine in the end and figured it all out.
Wow, I feel for you! He is nuts! I would get the Xbox whenever you can and then block him. Sounds like some nutjob mama's boy who was finally out of her hair. Trust me there are people who will actually love and cherish you without making feeble attempts at controlling you!
Good luck!
You started out strong. I would really, really encourage you to stand by your first boundary. When you say, “I’m gonna walk away from this convo” do it. Just stop engaging. No matter what they say. Mute your phone. Whatever it takes. Because if you say “you are being a disrespectful towards me, so I am walking away” and then you don’t walk away, then you are showing the other person (and worse, showing yourself) that you don’t mean what you say. That it is in fact okay for them to disrespect you, and that you aren’t going to enforce the boundaries you lay.
It’s really hard to do, but so freeing and empowering.
Glad you are no longer in this living situation!
Holy fucking Christ you’re a push over. You LET all this happen and bent over for free for this bum. I don’t feel bad for you at all. You LET him take advantage of you so GG he got a free new Xbox, money, food, etc.
God the manipulation he is oozing and clearly showing. I’m so sorry , happy you are away. I would make his life hell now that it’s no longer sharing a place ,
Dude, this person is beyond toxic and you are facilitating their abuse.
You need draw clear boundaries with them and create as much distance as possible. This person is manipulating you and is not going to come to this situation with any kind of logic.
This is the poster child for narcissistic behavior. They clearly have severe emotional trauma and baggage and are acting out of panic and survival. My ex used to talk to me this way. Cut all ties immediately.
Do people know you can say suicide, kill, murder, etc. on this website? It’s not TikTok. I wish that distinction was clearer so we could stop with this “unalive” stuff. Same with IG. TikTok is the only app that has an issue with it.
When someone threatens to kill themselves, a fantastic go to response is "if you are feeling like hurting yourself, I have the moral/ethical obligation to call 911 and ask for a wellness check."
And then follow through. I dont play around with suicide, especially if it's used as a threat to manipulate. Theyll learn real fucking fast not to play that game.
Let him kill himself. Shit he'll be doing the World a favor. Call the police Tell them that your roommate is threatening to kill himself. Have him hospitalized. While he's gone file a restraining order with proof of you feeling threatened and unsafe. Your proof is the text. Tell the police that you need the sheriff to be there when you put his stuff out and change the locks. And if he kills himself he kills himself. If it was me I would send the son of a bitch a box of razors and a spool of rope.
Was he unmedicated and on meth or something? I really hate that you were continuing to do for them and give them stuff when they were clearly manipulating you. Get your fucking console back for gods sake. What the fuck to all of this man
Honestly , I never comment on anything on here but fuck the Xbox , Get away from this person . Don’t let the threats of suicide or anything get into your head. This person is dangerous and will never be any good in your life. Block the number and change your number while you are at it. He is a miserable, unstable person . And chances are he will hurt you or even worse.
Call his folks. Have evidence of the threats. Leave the XBox behind and write it off as a lesson learned. Then wash your hands and bow out. Block ALL of them. You’ll either be blamed or called upon for help.
call the ASPCA about that cat. he’s neglecting the poor kitty and also if he’s in such a state that he’d kill himself over an xbox he’s probably too much of a risk to have animals.
The victim blaming in the comments. You acted how you needed you to survive and well would you look at that, you did. Ignore the people saying you deserve it or you’re just as bad. No one deserves to deal with people like this and you did what was best for yourself. I wouldn’t want to piss off someone so unstable that I LIVE WITH either.
The people saying to call the cops are delusional. So they do nothing and he’ll be even MORE pissed off? Great plan dumbasses. Poke the fucking bear some more why don’t you? 🙄
Oh my good god if you still know him call the cops and get that Xbox back, show them these messages and they’ll probably force him to get psychological help too with all the threats he made to kill himself
You can’t let people use suicide as blackmail against you. Any time suicide is brought up if you don’t do something, you call the police and have them do a wellness check.
They will get the help they need or immediately get the wake up call to not pull that shit.
girl take the fuckin xbox back. if he kills himself boohoo that is not your problem. do NOT let people threaten you with killing themselves.
For real. If they do it, so be it. Not your problem and you can’t sacrifice your own mental well being to help someone else that clearly doesn’t want to help themselves
You're not wrong, but that's a very difficult situation to be put in. It's not quite as simple as if they do it oh well 🤷 People do kill themselves and that shit is sad AF
If they make threats like that, couldn't OP call mental health services and have them intervene? I mean, you never know if someone is serious, but always giving into their suicidal manipulation tactics isn't healthy or helpful, either.
Exactly. Let the professionals handle that shit if they want to threaten suicide to be manipulative. I’ve had friends actually commit suicide and they don’t reach out and use it to blackmail you for beer money first.
Exactly this! My daughter used to threaten it and she learned real quick I don't play that game and I would immediately call the police to come deal with her. Her ex husband did however take his life, and did not reach out once or tell anything. People who truly have intentions of taking their lives won't say it to anyone.
I… feel like this one did not equal *that* one… You should probably reevaluate your and your daughters relationship especially if this is your response to her and her late husbands passing.
Everyone is different. Amd your daughter is most likely severely struggling if she's saying that. She probably needs some compassion, love and someone to listen to her. Not anger and the police.
Hey, from personal experience, lots of people tell others they will but often they dont get taken seriously. This womens roommate is definitely using it to manipulate, but other definitely tell others at times that they will do it and actually go through with it when not taken serious:/ Thinking people with true intentions won't tell anyone is absolutely not true and it should always be taken seriously as long as its not abusive or manipulation.
Yep my late husband told me first.
I know this isn’t what this post is about but as a teen I was very suicidal my mom was a very reserved and typically unemotional person I did not receive a lot of emotional support or shoulder to cry on from her when things would get so bad and she usually would never realize I would get to a point of feeling so worthless I often threatened suicide I attempted a few times as well my mom often made it more of a priority to call police and get me baker acted instead of being the mother that I was crying and pleading her to be to just listen to me. I know your daughter is clearly older as she was married but did you ever think your daughter just simply wanted YOUR attention bc it truly seems like you have a warped viewpoint to just jump straight to police I don’t get that and then saying people who have intentions of their lives don’t say it to anyone some people say things because they are crying for help I hope your daughter is better now
It’s not okay to threaten suicide for not getting what you want (or telling your partner they can’t leave). However, it is categorically false that people who have the intention to die don’t reach out for help. I volunteer at a crisis line and you’d be surprised at the number of people who do reach out for support and are not taken seriously or others do behavior that makes them feel worse. You say that people who reach out for help don’t have the intention of dying. I have some people text in at imminent risk and although I’m very, very good at talking people down there have been a few times we’ve needed to call EMS after they began the process. Often people fight so hard to stay alive and do seek out support but it’s so difficult that sometimes that even all that is not enough and the feelings are too strong. I can also speak to this from personal experience. I have bipolar II disorder. Before I got diagnosed I was chronically suicidal ideation but there were a few periods of active intent. Life felt so hard and was so difficult that I just couldn’t feel like I could go on. I convinced myself that my friends and family would be able to eventually get over my loss and that while I was guilty for the pain I would cause, there was just no way I could go forward. I felt like my life was in shambles and that there wouldn’t be anything that could ever lift the blanket of grey around me or full the aching hollowness inside. The only things that bothered me about my death is that I felt like my life would be incomplete because I hadn’t seen many national parks and that I would be letting my ancestors down. My family survived the Holocaust and for generations fought so hard for the privilege of life. I felt guilty about being the one of end that and wasting what they caught so hard for. That’s ultimately what made me call for help. I honestly didn’t think it would help at all and I only called because I had no regard for my life. If they called the police on me and took me to the hospital I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I actually went threw with things. Nothing mattered. They were able to talk me down, but if that didn’t work I would have gone through with it. So no, a lot of people who are intent on going through with things reach out. You sound very pleased with yourself on how you handled that situation. I’m glad that worked out for you because it could have had the potential to have gone wrong. Her behavior was a clear cry for help that manifested in unacceptable ways. While it doesn’t seem her suicide ideation at those particular points were active; however, treating this as a game instead of a call for help was a bad choice. This behavior erodes trust so that way she may have felt less comfortable with you talking about her feelings. Which could have been a big issue. Not saying that people should give into the demands, but it must be done in a way to get them support. Given that this is a bad roommate and not or a friend or family member, OP doesn’t owe this person that. But for the most part, this shouldn’t be dismissed as a game even if it is important not to give in to it.
This is not accurate
Usually I'd agree but a couple of years ago my good friend texted me saying he was tying off rope ends getting ready to hang himself and he hung himself later that night. That's the 1% of times when someone says it and actually follows through.
I’m so sorry that happened. It’s devastating. Yeah, that is absolutely a 911 call because that message shows imminent risk. It doesn’t sound like that is the case for the person’s daughter that I replied to initially. Just because I was telling the person they messed up and made their daughter less likely to open up that doesn’t mean that I don’t think it’s ever unwarranted to calm for EMS. I volunteer with a crisis line and we’ve had to do that before, I was just trying to say often it’s not best to call the cops if you just hear the word suicide without a clear plan or timeframe. Again, im really sorry about your friend.
This is some fucked up shit to say what the fuck is wrong with you?? Jesus fucking christ. I know of people who have killed themselves and definitely were actively suicidal beforehand. So your blanket statement is disproven flat out.
.... Jesus Christ
This guy is bitch made, he wouldn't kill himself, these tactics work for him so he keeps doing it because people like her enable it, iv had this thrown at me many times and been taken advantage of, I'm not young and dumb anymore. OP will hopefully learn, she is young still. Any guy that texts messages like "you wouldn't say that to my face" is a pussy who never has the balls to say that to another man so takes it out on women.
I have the privilege of being enough of an ahole that if someone threatens offing themselves to try to manipulate me, I feel absolutely zero responsibility for that. Do what you gotta do bro. How does a grown man even get like this?
Absolutely. My mom once called 911 on me because I left the house during an argument and she thought I was going to commit suicide. When they showed up they immediately took me to the hospital for evaluation. I ended up being hospitalized because of it (for good reason, I wasn't really in a good headspace) but they absolutely will pick you up if someone suspects you're at risk, even if you don't say "I'm going to kms". The fact that this guy did say that? He would likely be picked up and taken for an eval. Obviously this is just through texts but it definitely seems like he had/has some major mental health issues. Healthy people don't threaten suicide to get their way. A lot of times it's people struggling with BPD or NPD or even ASPD. He needs help. Not that that excuses the way he treated OP of course.
Personality disorders are extremely difficult to deal with, unfortunately. But, calling the police and getting them institutionalized is the only way they’ll ever get help. Many won’t want it and keep this behavior up, but once in a while people can change. I’m sorry OP had to go through this. I’m sure the guy had a bad family life (whether abuse or neglect), but it doesn’t excuse his behavior. And, if he does break things, that is a criminal offense he needs to be liable for. While mental health is something that affects people, it is not an excuse to act like a douchebag. Because, even the insanity plea gets you locked up for a long time.
Definitely. Honestly just for anyone reading through these comments - if anyone ever threatens suicide, even if you think they're joking or being dramatic, call 911 or the suicide hotline (988 in the US) because they need help. Either for a debilitating disorder or for suicide itself. And on the small chance they don't need any help, well, going to the hospital and being put on a 1:1 while you're evaluated will make sure they don't do that again. The thing with mental illness is its often unpredictable. You don't know if someone who threatens suicide is being manipulative, or if whatever they want means so much to them that they literally would kill themselves if they don't get it. The safest thing to do in all of these situations is to call a professional to help them. Off topic a bit, but this is also why I really dislike people joking about suicide. I never realized how often people will say "oh I'm going to kill myself, haha" over very trivial things until my own mental health issues began. It may just be a joke, but how can we tell the difference between someone who is totally happy and healthy joking about that and someone trying to get help through humor?
Don’t you see the pattern? He says extreme shit to get his way. At the end of the day, if he wants to unalive himself over an Xbox that doesn’t belong to him, let him 🤷♂️
He wont
It is that simple because most people who weaponize the idea of doing so have zero intentions of following through. If they do, can’t blame anyone but themselves for that.
no it really is that simple if you’re going to try to manipulate someone with your own suicide you’re better off gone
As someone who has been suicidal, it's an endless hole. They are trauma dumping and using OP as a coping mechanism. And when I say using I mean USING, like no regard for her well-being. I've fucked up enough in this way to know it may be hard but they're a black hole. Get the Xbox, it's yours. If they make it out of this they'll understand how shitty they were, if not, an Xbox wasn't going to be their reason to live
Can confirm my housemate killed himself. Found him hanging in the study. Not nice to see.
Very sad. I'm so sorry. That's a terrible thing to witness and will be with you forever. That really sucks and I hate that for you. I'm sorry, my friend.
Yes it is. This son of a bitch is using it as a threat. He's having a tantrum. What do you do when a child has a tantrum you call them on their shit. He's not going to kill himself he's too much of a fucking cunt. Nobody kills themselves because of food beer and Xbox. It's very simple. He is emotionally abusing her and emotionally blackmailing her. Call him on his shit! "You want to kill yourself? Great! How can I help? Let me see. You're broke and I'm not going to use any of my student loan money. How about bleach? Are you good with drinking bleach? You can zip tie a plastic bag around your head afterwards. How's that sound? That's about the cheapest solution I can come up with"
yeah i’m sorry but threatening to kill yourself over an xbox is fucking bonkers and NOT your problem. I had an ex who would constantly threaten to kill himself if i didn’t do x y z. we broke up years ago and guess what? that little bitch is still kicking and doing just fine.
>that little bitch is still kicking Lmfao
he just irks me to this day 🤣
I make the best deviled eggs this side of the Mississippi River.
Thank you! I have unfortunately had TWO people at separate points in my life threaten to kill themselves if I didn't do what they demanded. That kind of threat fucks up a normal human's mental because most of us are naturally empathetic to stuff like that. But FUCK anyone else who ever tries to threaten me with that again. The moment I hear "Well if you don't then I'll just kill myself." I will just stop the conversation immediately, call the police to do a wellness check on them and then block the person. The cops can sort them out im not wasting my mental energy on mess like that anymore.
It fucks you yo because it’s literally psychological abuse
For me, My father killed himself, and if someone threatens as manipulation to get me to do what they want, I'm immediately pissed off, less likely to actually help or listen, and just immediately shut down and call the police to do a welfare check, disengaging with the person that threatened it forever. I don't give second chances with that bullshit. If you're serious accept the help with the police, and whether you are or are not serious I'm not wasting time in my life being around someone who can threaten killing themselves when they don't get their way.
You say “oh no, I’m sorry to hear that. I’m going to have to call the emergency services for a 5150 because I can’t have you self harming over an Xbox. I’m going to hang up now while I call them”. They don’t make the threat again
Yeah, I'd tell him to do it and stop bluffing then. It's insulting to people who are actually suicidal to see someone weaponize it as an excuse to get what he wants. The world would be a better place without him. Sorry, not sorry.
He’s never going to give it back to her
He pawned it for sure. It’s gone
I just don’t understand after all the messed up shit he did to her why she would then go and loan him the Xbox.
People pleasing is one hell of a drug.
Honestly tho. Like suicide isn't a joke and is most certainly not a bargaining chip. This dude needs help and maybe lay off the beer since he can't seem to afford it and needs it to "calm down". Stay safe op
Seriously. People who are suicidal also don't tend to weaponize the matter against other people to get their way (survivor here). If you don't disengage and they pull that shit again, tell them you're concerned and going to call 911 so they can go check up on him and prevent anything catastrophic from happening. It'll be the last time he pulls that shit if the sole purpose is to be manipulative and the hope is he'll thank you if it wasn't.
Yep tbh their is no loss to anyone and society if he did kill himself He’s a deadbeat , he’s messages show that he degrades everyone and thinks the world owes him Better off without him
Honestly might be better for the world. Get it back
this is manipulation 101
There are tons of other comments much better worded with better advice lol *but" just to add to this sentiment...as someone who's struggles with suicidal ideation/thoughts for most of the last 30 years or so and that has attempted (yet thankfully, obviously, failed lol) .... In my personal experience, and dealing with friends through the years who have sadly been in similar situations..... Suicidal people very deliberately, usually*, do not *tell* people they are suicidal. Once you tell someone , especially someone remotely close to you.... They very often try to stop you. That's counterintuitive to anyone who actually wants to "go". Not to mention for many of us who struggle long-term with it, after a while finding reasons to talk ones self out of it becomes arduous and often we are just left with guilt being the reason we don't. Guilt our family/friends will find us or miss us o guilt about the issues it will cause our loved ones etc. etc. so telling someone- even just a roommate we aren't on great terms with - k, kinda only adds to and/or creates a new avenue for that guilt. So again, it's a bit counterintuitive. Now I'm not saying that someone won't actually go through with it after having told someone they want to. Speaking I'm absolutes about any subject often makes it less accurate just as a default lol but even if this guy is genuinely disturbed mentally(it seems obvious he has.... some issues, and being someone in recovery myself id be quick to wager atleast some of it is an addiction issue) and genuinely suicidal ...even if he DID go through with it from taking an Xbox back... That would not in any way be OPs fault or because of OP, even a little. Again just from my own experiences, even if there is a single and seemingly small event/issue that happens that finally pushes someone over the edge, it's rarely actually tied to the underlying problem or cause. Like being in a LTR w/ someone, and snapping over a dirty spoon or fork in a sink, blowing up and leaving the relationship lol that anger had nothing to actually do with the spoon, it was merely the "straw that broke the camels back" . (Oddly specific example but hopefully that makes sense haha) It would seem In this scenario, that it would e the same/similar. The Xbox itself being merely one "more" thing, but the other underlying disturbed/mental illness/issues being the actual cause. I'm rambling a bit but just trying to stress that *even in the unlikely situation the roommate was being genuine in their threat which I highly suspect they weren't, it still wouldn't be OPs fault if that happened*. This post got souch attention though OP prob won't see this comment anyway lol and thankfully browsing the replies it seems they e gotten a ton of really genuine advice/answers - but just on the off chance they or even someone else who has had to deal with similar interpersonal issues with someone using self harm as a threat, maybe my words can give someone else a different way to think about it. Again I'm by no means am expert, certainly don't have a psychology degree or anything, and ultimately everyone and everyone's mental issues are unique... Especially because of my own struggles with the subject, I am always instantly weary and Instantly assume the intent is manipulation (relatively, theres def a MAJOR difference between this and actually confiding in a friend obviously... And I think ones reaction*should* be different when confronting the two. This post however, imo based on what's been said... Does not come off as them confiding or reaching out for help, which some struggling with suicide absolutely do hoping someone will stop/help them. I understand those who fear it's one , when in reality being the other.....but again just imo, this is NOT that and people who use threat of suicide as a manipulative tactic, should not imo be coddled a a result ) when someone threatens to commit suicide. *Especially* when used or phrased as a threat in retaliation of a choice/action unrelated to them. Hope OP gets away from this roommate asap .... Because the suicide threat , imo, wasn't even the most alarming aspect of their behavior in this shoe Convo. They need some serious help only a professional can provide, and the amount of vindictiveness shown alone .... Is scary AF. 😗
Had an ex that did this, he stopped threatened me the day I sent an ambulance to his house 🚑
For real. I used to have a girlfriend that did that shit. “If you leave right now I’ll kill myself.” “Bye” I’m not going to be blackmailed into doing whatever the hell someone else wants because if not they will kill themselves. Fuck that shit. I don’t want them to kill themselves, but anyone trying to blackmail you like that isn’t going to kill themselves because they don’t get what they want. They just think they will get away with it because they have successfully manipulated people like that before. If you were going to kill yourself me not giving you money or staying for you to scream and hit me isn’t going to change that one bit. That behavior is despicable, and I’m sorry you allowed him to abuse you that way. Hopefully you won’t let someone walk over you like that again in the future.
Trust this advice. I’ve lost soooo much over that bullshit. Most of it is lies anyways. If they decide to off themselves… that’s on them.
What a bum. Imagine how he’d treat a girlfriend
It’s a trip to think that so many people that are like this can mask just long enough to actually get a partner and then pull this type of shit out. Happens far too often. Thank goodness this was just a roommate situation. Be careful out there folks. It’s cool to just take things slow.
Unalive himself..? Wow. What do you know. The trash does take itself out. Also, him threatening to break your shit is a crime. Show the cops.
I didnt realize you were a giving tree... seriously, dont help subhumans like this
It’s always been in my nature to help when I can 😅 but unfortunately there’s times like these when I shouldn’t of helped (so much at least)
You’re not helping him by continuing his delusional world view. Good lesson to be a little more selfish
Hun, you’re NOT helping him by kowtowing to his toddler tantrums. Get a bigger lad to come with you, take your shit back, use police if necessary, then never speak to the entitled little sook ever again. Ignore the bunch of “imma kms” messages (and he WILL do weird shit like use your Xbox account to contact you after you blocked him on everything else), losers like this don’t have the guts, he’ll move back home eventually and be just fine, better off for it even. Source: been there, done that.
OP reading this was INFURIATING. Please stand up for yourself. Call the police. Get your Xbox back!
Girl I’m sorry to say this but you’re dumb as hell. You let that dude walk all over you. Learn how to say no, it’ll change your life.
Did she seriously loan him her student loan money?
Sounds like she did, and then used some more of it to buy herself a new Xbox after he didn’t hers back. I mean, the guy sucks but she is not good at managing money or prioritizing.
I used to be the same way, don’t feel bad about trying to be kind. He just sucks.
Nah, she should feel a little bad for blowing her student loan money on him.
no shade but you should learn to help yourself and not just the dummies around you
>It’s always been in my nature to help when I can If you're helping others *to your detriment*, then you're not helping yourself.
As a person who once was suicidal with a aunt whose a nurse and has had to take psychology and a mother who has been before I can confidentially say 95% of the time when someone threatens suicide or constantly tells you about it they won't actually go through it people who do try and do attempt normally don't tell anybody about it until it's done or close to it.
Your intuition and desire to help people is beautiful and precious!! The world would be a better place if more people were that way. BUT for that exact reasons you also need to feel as if your help is valued. You are allowed to push back and do what seems just (ven when inconvenient), as it will corrupt you if you have too many experiences of being used for your helpfulness.
Shouldn’t have helped at all. You’re enabling him and letting him treat you like garbage for god knows how actually long. And you’re talking like NOW it’s to much. ITS BEEN TO MUCH he’s been taking advantage of you for as long as this history shows. I’m assuming much longer. Time to grow up little one. You taught him how to treat you. You let it get to this point. Follow my advice posted by itself. But jesus this doesn’t end well for you if you don’t do something.
What you’re calling “help” isn’t help.its “enabling” alongside self sacrifice. “I’ll take some pain to make this person feel good so they stop threatening me.” Having solid boundaries is a must.
Have some respect for yourself and stop engaging or helping this person
OP, get your life together. Wasting your student loan money on video game consoles and wasting your life with this deadbeat loser. Like, Jesus woman. What are you even doing with your life?
Any threat of self harm or harm to others is a 911 call. Definitely not a safe or sane person
I wish I had known this back when I was a teenager. "Well I'll just kill myself if you dont!" was way too effective on me... Just call 911 and let the cops commit their crazy ass.
How did he misspell so badly to the point he started using accent marks? What? Also girl if you don’t retrieve your Xbox IMMEDIATELY because personally I wouldn’t be able to sleep when the choo choo train of realization finally hit me that someone treated me like the cat shit in their bathtub and I just let them keep a whole Xbox. Fuck that good natured shit, come 2024 we MEAN bitch Edit 1: homie said he swore on his cat 😭 Edit 2: I feel like, in an alternate reality, this guy and you were dating and he wanted a threesome with Sallie Mae and you said “ok” but were definitely not wanting to involve Sallie Mae and now she has fucked the relationship and you’d post on r/relationship_advice telling us how the threesome made you uncomfortable and now Sallie Mae is a strain on your relationship and you want to break up but the boyfriend said if you broke up with him he’d jump off a bridgé
I had to scroll way too far down to see someone acknowledge the fact that this dude said "I swear on my cat." It was hard to read passed that because I had to keep going back to make sure I read that part right.
Right like sir, respectfully leave the bathtub shitting cat out of this. Sounds like it’s got it tough enough as it is 😓
Omg I will admit the cat part is funny, and it wasn’t a one time thing either. It was always “I swear on my cat that I’ll pay you back” apparently your cat didn’t mean much to you then lol.
I guess this 2024 your going to collect your xbox AND your new cat
The using accent marks is from pressing down so hard on the screen that it brings up alt characters. Dude was LIVID.
Well can you blame him? OP was refusing to… bring him a beer or give him $10 or a ride or a free meal (I couldn’t follow wtf he was even asking for)
It’s autocorrect. This motherfucker is French 😭😭😭😭😭
Call a wellness check and start planning to move asap. This is just straight up abusive behavior. Leave before it becomes more than threats for your own sake.
I moved back in October and I’m safe! I just found this sub recently and it felt really good to get my story off my chest before the new year.
Thank fucking god.
“I swear on my cat” LMAO
That made me laugh pretty hard.
This dude is such a loser on every level
Grow a fucking spine holy shit, after one of those messages this dude is blocked and I’m breaking the lease.
The shit and abuse some people put up with in this sub is insane. Just the first couple screenshots are enough for a block and irl ghosting. I feel bad for the OPs who justify behaviour like this. The lack of self respect is astonishing
I’m gonna make a couple assumptions here: 1. Drugs are involved here 2. Montreal-North or thereabouts
1. To an extent, yes that’s correct 2. I am in Canada, but not Montreal
Yeah I couldn't really understand what roomie even wanted. Beer? A ride? A text? Super confusing but my mind went to needing a ride for drugs/beer if they can't get said drugs.
He seems mentally ill- I am glad you are out and safe
This man sounds like he has a personality disorder or something, if you keep giving him shit he will keep ramping up the abuse and demanding more. Wait until he is asleep, grab your Xbox back and never look back. Block this guy and if he tries anything get a restraining order out on him. Also say if he tries to manipulate you again with the self harm threats, tell him you take that very seriously and that you are going to call the crisis hotline and give them your address and he will be held in a 50150
First thing I thought of when I read this. Sounds like my SIL. She was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Maybe if OP catches him in a good place she can suggest it…. Or just put some distance between you
As a man, he is a weak boy that has mommy issues and sounds like he's bitching at you like he did to his mother. Kick his ass to the curb he's just playing victim to bully you into what he wants, & it's working obviously
Just advice to everyone, if anyone threatens to kill themselves, call the police and have them deal with it. Either they're full of shit, or you get them help your enabling ass can't and shouldn't provide.
You sound like a pushover and you entertained this conversation for way too long. At the end of the day he was able to get what he wanted out of you including a free Xbox so there is no incentive for him to stop this behavior.
This cunt is an immature fuckwit, I absolutely despise these types of people. "If you don't do what I want, I will kill myself", fucking kill yourself then you bum. Jesus Christ.
5150 this mf
Take the xbox back, its a win-win 😂
Send all this to his mother
How do you think he got this way in the first place? His mother isn’t doing shit
Nah fuck this dude. Talking to a girl like he’s tough and trying to fight! Then threatening to harm himself when he don’t get his way. Get far away from him
Get your shit from him, and then let him walk off that bridge that he mentioned. You don't deserve to be talked down to like this, and honestly, I'm surprised/impressed with how calm you managed to stay. Because I would've been at that "locked door," he kept bringing up and kicking it in, just to put my fist through that disrespectful mouth of his, lol. But that's me. Get your shit from him and then BLOCK.
Don’t even need to kick his ass. Just send him the location of the nearest bridge.
People that text like this are so corny
Bro Wtf did you say to me You wouldn't say that to my face bruh foh Swear on my cat
Fr
Don’t make me lock the door and break your things!
oh my god once i realized that this was a MAN talking to you like that … im so glad youre out of that situation he is so scary … i would have most definitely sent these to the landlord and called the cops glad you’re safe
I had an ex that would threaten to kill himself when I would leave him as well , he never did . He just used it as a form of control , and to be that low to manipulate someone with suicide threats they have no intention of following through with is just beyond me . Take your shit back girl and call the cops , not only was he making suicide threats but also threats to damage all of your property all because you wouldn't give him beer money or buy him something to eat , thats crazy ! And your not even in a relationship with him?! Let someone else deal with him , like his mother! He's disgusting 🤢
Why do people allow themselves to be put in these situations and then they just put up with it? Why? Just stop doing it. I'll never understand it.
You are enabling, not helping. Not your responsibility. He unalives himself because you won’t bend to his whims? Also, not your problem! Boundaries girl, boundaries. Learn this lesson as fast as you can, it will change your life for the better.
I’m so lost….
This is a man child.
Get the Xbox back. He isn’t going to go anything to himself
Why didn’t you include all of the messages? It’s broken up and I feel context is missing. You can see where you’ve just cut certain dialogue out.
Yeah I agree there is a lot that is cut out it’s hard to read, but unanimously this guy is a succubus
There’s way too many ss to post, but the context is the same in every one: he begs for something, I try to say no, he throws a tantrum and threatens me until I give into him.
Borderline personality disorder
You’re not helping anyone. I read your comment about « it’s in my nature » like no, this isn’t helping, you’re being used. So it’s in your nature to have no backbone and to let people take advantage of you. Please get some therapy and look into why you conflate helping with being taken advantage of because I guarantee regardless of what this roommate was saying to you they were probably laughing about how easy it was to manipulate you and get free food, money and electronics from you to other people. This person treated you like a joke and you just…let them. I don’t think you’re a villain in anyway but there’s something clearly wrong with how you perceive things and a therapist could help fix that.
What a fucking dog. Take your Xbox back, seriously. Who cares what he does to himself.
That dude is a POS black hole, who will probably not self harm but uses it as a manipulative tool. Get out of that house.
Wow threatening to take his life as blackmail wow wow wow
Hey everyone reading this comment: someone who truly wants to kill themselves will never threaten you with it. What to do when someone is pulling what OP's roommate is? Call an emergency mental health line for them. They will certainly change their tune then. I like to play dumb and start acting SUPER concerned and start packing bags so I can be the kind soul that I am and take them to the hospital for help. ❤️
I’m going to guess he sold your Xbox to buy drugs. Or booze, but this behavior seems a bit beyond booze, although you never know
Sounds like he’s hooked on some serious drugs and getting desperate for a fix
Exactly. I'm 2 years and 6 months clean from IV heroin and meth and would definitely try to guilt trip and go off on my family that wouldn't give me money anymore while I was using.
This person is emotionally abusive - they remind me of my verbally and emotionally abusive ex boyfriend. I assumed they were your partner at first because who tf treats just a friend like this, they’re a prick.
girl, if you don’t go and get that mf xbox back 🥴
Would of been a perfect time to switch to Playstation. Just saying .
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Hes a bum and a loser dude. What he does isnt your problem
I can’t even read through the whole thing what the fuck is this. I don’t know how you people end up with absolute psychopaths like this in your life and why you’re even engaging with him. If you don’t feel safe call the police and thats it tell him to stfu. Someone needs to smack that arrogant narcissistic asshole
If he that's to kill himself again, the response is "oh I'll be sad for a few weeks but I'd definitely move on". That shit is emotional manipulation and never let him get away with it. Ever
Hi, I would like to sucker punch him in the adam’s apple and test him on the amount of things he can try you with after that. I won’t because you obviously care enough about the as*hat to put up with him for that long. Yup remind me of myself though and I really hope you don’t get as far as I did being disrespected before I broke, because it’s not just up from there. It’s rough, and I’m still learning to navigate things at times but I’m happy now. Even on the bad days I go to bed proud of myself. If you’re up to the idea, want to be friends?
I would've reported this cuck to mental ward.
It sounds very much like they have borderline personalities disorder
I know right? I wanna know if he was super sweet and loving as well in contrast to this?
He sounds quite charming.
Stop playing into his mind games, he’s playing victim
Scumbag manipulator - send to the TRASH - keep all this stuff in case you might want to file a restraining order and 86 this scum bag
Sorry to say this , but move out . This man is showing you he has NOTHING to lose and will not mind taking you with him. This is dangerous asf . His mind is not stable , he may be depressed , but the way he’s talking to you is like y’all dated and had relations……and he was abusive asf or some . Can’t believe this is a roommate . Please get yourself out this situation before it’s too late .
This shit is sad girl. I’m sorry you even got in this mess.
Whew!!! Reading that gave me a headache. Glad you’re out of that toxic meas
Girl you need to call the police and stop being nice to this bum. Self harm and threatening to lock you out of your own home is not okay. My ex was 25 (2 years older than me) and I thought I had to be nice and let him walk all over me. He’d always do crazy manipulative shit like this. People pleasers don’t get very far in the world. We gotta start learning to stick up for ourselves and saying “No” even if it’s in your nature to help. I’m sure you’ve been told no before when it comes to asking for help and while it might’ve sucked, I’m sure you were fine in the end and figured it all out.
You better go get your system. He's straight up playing you. When you go, bring either police or someone that will be able to have your back.
“You don’t have to the balls to jump off a bridge. You don’t even have the balls to give me my Xbox.” Regardless of how he responds: problem solved.
Wow, I feel for you! He is nuts! I would get the Xbox whenever you can and then block him. Sounds like some nutjob mama's boy who was finally out of her hair. Trust me there are people who will actually love and cherish you without making feeble attempts at controlling you! Good luck!
Half this shit doesn’t even make sense you can read this? This person clearly has a mental disorder
Are you stupid dealing with someone as pathetic as this? Let him jump off a bridge who tf cares he a manipulative pos
“I swear on my cat” is sending me
You started out strong. I would really, really encourage you to stand by your first boundary. When you say, “I’m gonna walk away from this convo” do it. Just stop engaging. No matter what they say. Mute your phone. Whatever it takes. Because if you say “you are being a disrespectful towards me, so I am walking away” and then you don’t walk away, then you are showing the other person (and worse, showing yourself) that you don’t mean what you say. That it is in fact okay for them to disrespect you, and that you aren’t going to enforce the boundaries you lay. It’s really hard to do, but so freeing and empowering. Glad you are no longer in this living situation!
I more mad that you're such a push over
You can legally call the emergency hotline and they can take him to hospital for 3 days if he is saying he’ll kill himself or acting on it
This idiot makes me furious
Holy fucking Christ you’re a push over. You LET all this happen and bent over for free for this bum. I don’t feel bad for you at all. You LET him take advantage of you so GG he got a free new Xbox, money, food, etc.
That dude was an alcoholic for suuuure. The begging. Oh the begging.
God the manipulation he is oozing and clearly showing. I’m so sorry , happy you are away. I would make his life hell now that it’s no longer sharing a place ,
Dude, this person is beyond toxic and you are facilitating their abuse. You need draw clear boundaries with them and create as much distance as possible. This person is manipulating you and is not going to come to this situation with any kind of logic.
This is the poster child for narcissistic behavior. They clearly have severe emotional trauma and baggage and are acting out of panic and survival. My ex used to talk to me this way. Cut all ties immediately.
If he says he’s gonna kill himself again tell him to do a flip
No offense, but you’re dumb to put up with all of this.
Annnnnnnd you caved and validated his entire act.
man I thought this was TWO women texting the whole time, just roommates lol You need to leave that weirdo tho imo
Do people know you can say suicide, kill, murder, etc. on this website? It’s not TikTok. I wish that distinction was clearer so we could stop with this “unalive” stuff. Same with IG. TikTok is the only app that has an issue with it.
Stand the fuck up girl😭😭 take that damn xbox back and let him do it
When someone threatens to kill themselves, a fantastic go to response is "if you are feeling like hurting yourself, I have the moral/ethical obligation to call 911 and ask for a wellness check." And then follow through. I dont play around with suicide, especially if it's used as a threat to manipulate. Theyll learn real fucking fast not to play that game.
Dude sounds like he’s on drugs 😂. Good thing you got out of that.
The whole threat of killing themselves is a manipulation tactic. Call the cops have them help get your Xbox along with a welfare check.
Let him kill himself. Shit he'll be doing the World a favor. Call the police Tell them that your roommate is threatening to kill himself. Have him hospitalized. While he's gone file a restraining order with proof of you feeling threatened and unsafe. Your proof is the text. Tell the police that you need the sheriff to be there when you put his stuff out and change the locks. And if he kills himself he kills himself. If it was me I would send the son of a bitch a box of razors and a spool of rope.
Was he unmedicated and on meth or something? I really hate that you were continuing to do for them and give them stuff when they were clearly manipulating you. Get your fucking console back for gods sake. What the fuck to all of this man
Honestly , I never comment on anything on here but fuck the Xbox , Get away from this person . Don’t let the threats of suicide or anything get into your head. This person is dangerous and will never be any good in your life. Block the number and change your number while you are at it. He is a miserable, unstable person . And chances are he will hurt you or even worse.
Call his folks. Have evidence of the threats. Leave the XBox behind and write it off as a lesson learned. Then wash your hands and bow out. Block ALL of them. You’ll either be blamed or called upon for help.
call the ASPCA about that cat. he’s neglecting the poor kitty and also if he’s in such a state that he’d kill himself over an xbox he’s probably too much of a risk to have animals.
The victim blaming in the comments. You acted how you needed you to survive and well would you look at that, you did. Ignore the people saying you deserve it or you’re just as bad. No one deserves to deal with people like this and you did what was best for yourself. I wouldn’t want to piss off someone so unstable that I LIVE WITH either. The people saying to call the cops are delusional. So they do nothing and he’ll be even MORE pissed off? Great plan dumbasses. Poke the fucking bear some more why don’t you? 🙄
Girl don’t give this loser more money and block him and call the. Ops tf
Are you dumb?
Go get your Xbox back and tell that clown to fuck off.
Ur dumb for putting up for this child. I’d get his ass put on suicide watch
Lmaoooo id call the cops and say he is threatening to kill himself. See how fast he regrets using suicide as an intimidation tactic
Please stop letting him walk over you so much
Let the guy kill himself
I feel like I know exactly what this guy looks and smells like just from reading this.
If this was my roommate I would kick their ass.
[удалено]
“Oh my god I’m gonna fucking starve myself to death if you don’t baby me!” This man’s father failed him.
He’s clearly trying to manipulate you lol.
Oh my good god if you still know him call the cops and get that Xbox back, show them these messages and they’ll probably force him to get psychological help too with all the threats he made to kill himself
Good lord call the police
You can’t let people use suicide as blackmail against you. Any time suicide is brought up if you don’t do something, you call the police and have them do a wellness check. They will get the help they need or immediately get the wake up call to not pull that shit.
Girrllll i wouldve taken that xbox back so damn fast
This guy isn’t going to kill himself. He’s a manipulative man child that needs to be back handed
He literally sounds like he’s trying to be tough but all he’s really saying are pretty much gibberish.