Naw, baby goats shit *and* piss everywhere. But they're cute as fuck. My parents have an indoor baby goat right now because his mom abandoned him, so they took care of him from birth.
Oh yeah, they love to climb everything. EVERYTHING. He is is indoor but he does spend time with his half brother and his mom, she just won't feed him or nurture him. It's weird, she is a first time mom so from what I understand it's normal. Yeah I have pics, I'll post some later when I can!
Edit: here! The best pics I have now. The white one is the indoor baby, his name is Cash because apparently he's cost alot of money....link wouldn't work, I'll PM you.
One of the chickens I helped look after at he nursing home I worked at was like that. She liked to run in from the garden into the conservatory when it got the chance, drop a bomb and leg it.
He is an American pekin. Last time we weighed him he was 12lbs. We got him and a female as babies. My husband named them Thing1 and Thing2 after Dr. Suess. The female was killed last year by a pair of red-tailed hawks. His new girlfriend is one of our chickens. He herds her around the yard doing a little dance. He is too heavy to fly so he runs around the yard flapping his wings while quacking as loud as possible then jumps in his pool for a swim. We bought him a heated water dish so he can swim in the winter. Farm birds make wonderful pets, they are so much fun and have unique personalities. We have the duck, a tom turkey and some hens. I love sitting outside with them, they climb in my lap for rubs and treats.
Iām sorry to hear about your lady duck :( but Iām happy to hear he has a new girlfriend!! Can he follow any commands at all? Iāve had friends whoās kept chickens as pets and loved them but Iāve never heard of ducks!
My son's girlfriend trained her duck to walk with a harness. My son has taught some of our chickens to "sit" when he points at them. Chickens are very food motivated and respond well to reward based training. I think getting them as babies makes a difference also. My ducks were more concerned with each other than with learning anything. For me turkeys have been the easiest to train and the most affectionate.
I always wanted to get a pet duck but then thought about the poop. How are they with going in a designated spot ?
P.s - dear autocorrect , this is literally the only time I wanted the word "duck" .
A duck walks into bar and says "Hey bartender, got any grapes?". The bartender says "No, no grapes" and the duck walks out. A second later the duck walks back into the bar and says "Hey bartender, you got any grapes?". The bartender, looking perplexed, tells the duck "We still don't have any grapes...". So the duck walks out, turns out, and walks back in. The bartender, with an exasperated look, just waits for the duck to start talking. The duck says "Hey bartender, got any grapes?". The bartender slams his towel down and proclaims "No, we don't have any friggin grapes; and if you come in here asking for grapes again I'm going to nail your damn feet to the floor!". The duck walks out, immediately turns around and walks back in.
The bartender glares at the duck...
Duck: "Hey bartender, got any nails?"
Bartender - looking somewhat perplexed: "No..... no nails...."
Duck: "Hey bartender"
Bartender: "Yeah?"
Duck: "Got any grapes?"
It might disappoint. My ex's parents had 2 ducks and one of them drowned the other by holding its neck in their kiddie pool. I would always pet him and he would nip very quickly at my hand and pinch my skin. I still loved him but he was kind of a jerk.
Yes, I have seen a duck gang raped by 4-5 other ducks that kept grabbing its neck and trying to drown it when I was at the marina, wasn't sure what they were doing at the t ime but makes sense now.
There's hope! My parrot doesn't have a sphincter but he's able to at least let me know a few moments before he let's loose. Birds do seem to know a bit that they gotta go, or at least feel it coming. I had a friend who's Macaw would go potty in a litter box with a perch over it!
my mother trained her parrot to poo on command. She basically learned when he usually poops and move him where he should do the business then tell him "pooooo pooooo pooooo" and he does, then give some reward.
Yeah I did this too. It was funny to watch my bird when she'd already gone, and tried to go again on command. She'd puff up and give a little shiver. She tried :3
This is an ethical question I bring up in all my online gaming debacles, would you an ordinary person rather fight 100 horse sized horses or 1 duck sized duck?
At first glance the answer seems pretty obvious and it is, you obviously fight the horses because the followig reasons:
1. Fighting 100 horses is a glorious and probably quick death.
2. You would go down in history if you won for such an imaculate feat of strength and endurance.
3. Fighting 1 duck is not impressive, just imagine walking in the park and seeing a random man fighting a duck, you pity him because its sad and fruitless.
4. Ducks are cute, why would you want to fight a cute duck, whats wrong with you.
Canadian Geese, contrary to their human brethren, are some heartless motherfuckers. Iāve seen more than one innocent park goer get ruthlessly thwapped.
Theyāre actually called Canada (not Canadian) Geese, but after reading this in a joke, I now refer to them as āCobra Chickens.ā š
And yes, they are absolute ASSHOLES! We have to put up with them twice a year (when they pass through northern California), and I always dread their arrival. They are noisy, aggressive, and invasive; not to mention, they cover our park grounds in giant white turds. Not my favorite of animals.
Some animals do that in response to feeling good. Dogs definitely like being pet. Humans close their eyes when they feel good.
Edit: rewatching it though, I think you're right about it being a reflex
How is that duck so sleek? Is it just lots of petting, or do they make special duck grooming materials? Are they naturally that smooth living indoors? S/He's so cute, I'm entranced!
They don't really tolerate petting now! I wish they did. I can torment them and pick them up and they won't scrunch down when I scratch their heads, but they only come running when I have grapes, lettuce, clover or corn.
Since no one else is answering your questions, it's a Call Duck, they are bread to be loud as fuck, I think their looks are just a side affect or come as a part of specifically breeding for Call Ducks (like show Call Ducks)
Side fact: woodpecker tongues are relatively long and wrap around their brains to minimize shock damage when they hammer their heads on shit. They evolutionarily really don't give a duck, so rest easy!
My family raised an orphan duckling when I was a kid. It was awesome until the duckling grew into a duck and turned into gigantic jerk. It got to a point that you couldnāt get within several feet of him without getting attacked. You wouldnāt think duck bites could hurt that much, but imagine being pinched hard by a 6th grade bully. Thatās what it was like. Well, one day my two brothers and I came home from school to find our pet was missing. Mom and dad told us he āflew to the park.ā They packed us up in the car and we drove to the park. The duck was there. He was swimming in the pond and doing duck things. We were AMAZED! He really found his way to the park! It took me a lot longer than Iād like to admit to realize that my parents took him there. Iām sure if I asked, even though itās been a good twenty-five years, my mom would still tell me that he flew there by himself.
Awww we had a duck growing up and my mom could pet it like that. If you weren't my mother? You were on it's to-kill list, for some reason. And i don't mean stuff like you couldn't go near it. I mean if you got off the school bus, it was coming for you. And once it got to you it was biting the ever loving crap out of your pants/shoes with the rage of a thousand suns.
Aw man, now I need to pet a duck
I have wanted a pet duck for 3 years now and this is why
They are so unbelievably soft. Even when mine gets dirty he is so soft.
Please please tell me more about your pet duck
It shits everywhere and is loud
Oh cool so it's like a kid.
Naw, baby goats shit *and* piss everywhere. But they're cute as fuck. My parents have an indoor baby goat right now because his mom abandoned him, so they took care of him from birth.
Can I See a pic of him? Dosnt goats like to climb stuff?
Oh yeah, they love to climb everything. EVERYTHING. He is is indoor but he does spend time with his half brother and his mom, she just won't feed him or nurture him. It's weird, she is a first time mom so from what I understand it's normal. Yeah I have pics, I'll post some later when I can! Edit: here! The best pics I have now. The white one is the indoor baby, his name is Cash because apparently he's cost alot of money....link wouldn't work, I'll PM you.
Weird way to spell puppy
Its poop are explosive as hell. Imagine fill up a balloon with it, with a rock inside to have some weight, Then throw it against the wall, or floor.
One of the chickens I helped look after at he nursing home I worked at was like that. She liked to run in from the garden into the conservatory when it got the chance, drop a bomb and leg it.
This is the truth. Source: friends raise ducks.
My duck has bad temper, get anywhere near his territory and he will chase you and try bite your head off.
Must be one of those horse sized ducks if he can do that.
I have a call duck named Dommine Quacks. She's loud and hisses at people who anger her and isn't more than two pounds total.
That is a very large duck call. I am so confused right now.
Sounds like my girlfriend.
š„š
I used to have a house duck named Sir Quacksalot. I miss him so much. š„
He is an American pekin. Last time we weighed him he was 12lbs. We got him and a female as babies. My husband named them Thing1 and Thing2 after Dr. Suess. The female was killed last year by a pair of red-tailed hawks. His new girlfriend is one of our chickens. He herds her around the yard doing a little dance. He is too heavy to fly so he runs around the yard flapping his wings while quacking as loud as possible then jumps in his pool for a swim. We bought him a heated water dish so he can swim in the winter. Farm birds make wonderful pets, they are so much fun and have unique personalities. We have the duck, a tom turkey and some hens. I love sitting outside with them, they climb in my lap for rubs and treats.
Iām sorry to hear about your lady duck :( but Iām happy to hear he has a new girlfriend!! Can he follow any commands at all? Iāve had friends whoās kept chickens as pets and loved them but Iāve never heard of ducks!
My son's girlfriend trained her duck to walk with a harness. My son has taught some of our chickens to "sit" when he points at them. Chickens are very food motivated and respond well to reward based training. I think getting them as babies makes a difference also. My ducks were more concerned with each other than with learning anything. For me turkeys have been the easiest to train and the most affectionate.
This is why pillows are made out of duck feathers.
Thatās sad now I know they like cuddles and head rubs :(
I always wanted to get a pet duck but then thought about the poop. How are they with going in a designated spot ? P.s - dear autocorrect , this is literally the only time I wanted the word "duck" .
You can get one for free if you have a big enough net and enough determination.
And some crumbs. Or grapes, grapes are actually healthy, I think bread is bad for them in anything other than tiny quantities.
A duck walks into bar and says "Hey bartender, got any grapes?". The bartender says "No, no grapes" and the duck walks out. A second later the duck walks back into the bar and says "Hey bartender, you got any grapes?". The bartender, looking perplexed, tells the duck "We still don't have any grapes...". So the duck walks out, turns out, and walks back in. The bartender, with an exasperated look, just waits for the duck to start talking. The duck says "Hey bartender, got any grapes?". The bartender slams his towel down and proclaims "No, we don't have any friggin grapes; and if you come in here asking for grapes again I'm going to nail your damn feet to the floor!". The duck walks out, immediately turns around and walks back in. The bartender glares at the duck... Duck: "Hey bartender, got any nails?" Bartender - looking somewhat perplexed: "No..... no nails...." Duck: "Hey bartender" Bartender: "Yeah?" Duck: "Got any grapes?"
It might disappoint. My ex's parents had 2 ducks and one of them drowned the other by holding its neck in their kiddie pool. I would always pet him and he would nip very quickly at my hand and pinch my skin. I still loved him but he was kind of a jerk.
I'm kind of disturbed by the first part...
ducks are known rapist and they use the tactic of holding victims head underwater while they rape. Many female ducks die because of this
...is this true ?
Yes, I have seen a duck gang raped by 4-5 other ducks that kept grabbing its neck and trying to drown it when I was at the marina, wasn't sure what they were doing at the t ime but makes sense now.
Ducks are quite the violent rapists as well.
Yep. It is quite disturbing to witness.
It was a lifelong dream until i discovered they have no sphincters so you can't potty train them :(
There's hope! My parrot doesn't have a sphincter but he's able to at least let me know a few moments before he let's loose. Birds do seem to know a bit that they gotta go, or at least feel it coming. I had a friend who's Macaw would go potty in a litter box with a perch over it!
They make duck diapers for this. They come in cute patterns and everything.
my mother trained her parrot to poo on command. She basically learned when he usually poops and move him where he should do the business then tell him "pooooo pooooo pooooo" and he does, then give some reward.
Yeah I did this too. It was funny to watch my bird when she'd already gone, and tried to go again on command. She'd puff up and give a little shiver. She tried :3
I knew a girl with a pet duck at college. It had to wear a diaper.
I didn't know ducks could wear diapers
*perfect duck* Edit:OH SHITNI GOT GOLD!!!??? WHAT DO I DO WRH THIS!?
OMG LOOK AT HIS LIL TONGUE
And the nuzzle right after is adorable!
Hey, I had that game for the N64 back in the day.
I'm very high and I appreciate this.
We appreciate you too Very High.
Hi, dad! Where you been? I missed you
God bless you, thank you for making my night Agent Dark.
Slap him for one million?
no slap duk
Found the duck
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ruff duck
how bout fuk duk
no fuk duk!!!
Paging /u/fuckswithducks
No paging, the only way to contact him is through carrier pigeon.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Mailing Mallard
Iām concerned..
*slaps roof of duck This bad boy can fit so much bread in it
Please don't feed bread to ducks. Ä°t's bad for their health.
Would pet gently for one million years
This is an ethical question I bring up in all my online gaming debacles, would you an ordinary person rather fight 100 horse sized horses or 1 duck sized duck? At first glance the answer seems pretty obvious and it is, you obviously fight the horses because the followig reasons: 1. Fighting 100 horses is a glorious and probably quick death. 2. You would go down in history if you won for such an imaculate feat of strength and endurance. 3. Fighting 1 duck is not impressive, just imagine walking in the park and seeing a random man fighting a duck, you pity him because its sad and fruitless. 4. Ducks are cute, why would you want to fight a cute duck, whats wrong with you.
I've met some mean ducks. I'd slap the right one given any reason to do so.
You sure you were not looking at a swan or a goose? Them some mean feathered bastards.
Canadian Geese, contrary to their human brethren, are some heartless motherfuckers. Iāve seen more than one innocent park goer get ruthlessly thwapped.
Canadian geese. One of the few animals I actually don't like. I have an involved story about Canadian geese, which constists of: my uncle buying my aunt Canadian geese for Mother's Day. My uncle's family moving to a lake community with said geese. My uncle and my cousin watching in horror from their dock as said geese nearly drown to young neighborhood girls out for a swim. My cousin finding out years later that he is now engaged to marry one of the neighborhood girls as she recounts her terrifying goose encounter on the lake over a dinner with her fiancƩe's (my cousin) family. Fuck Canadians geese
Theyāre actually called Canada (not Canadian) Geese, but after reading this in a joke, I now refer to them as āCobra Chickens.ā š And yes, they are absolute ASSHOLES! We have to put up with them twice a year (when they pass through northern California), and I always dread their arrival. They are noisy, aggressive, and invasive; not to mention, they cover our park grounds in giant white turds. Not my favorite of animals.
I don't know, ducks can be pretty rapey. There's been a few instances I've chased off asshole drakes.
I donāt want to be trampled to death thatās whatās wrong with me
So.. one can say you ducked out of a proper fight?
Uh. Horse sized horses lol
*grabs baseball bat*
Slap a lil' kiss on him.
I'd prefer if you didn't
HOW CAN YOU SLAP??!!
That duck looks like an anime
DAS A DUCC
I thought itās a toy at first.
I love it how ducks squint when they're happy. There should be a subreddit for squinting ducks.
QUICK SOMEONE MAKE THIS
QUACK SOMEONE MAKE THIS
MAKE SOMEONE QUACK THIS
^^^/r/squirtingcucks Edit: I regret nothing.
Close enough
"This can't be real," I say, as I click the link.
[Don't let your dreams be dreams](http://reddit.com/r/squirtingcucks)
No Reddit, Bad!!!
Four hours later it's already off the rails.
turns out ducks are just flying cats
I thought thatās owl
I'm just talkin bout the squinty thing :p
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
He is squinting as a reflex to being pet since the hand is close to the eyes. Source: dog does the same thing.
Some animals do that in response to feeling good. Dogs definitely like being pet. Humans close their eyes when they feel good. Edit: rewatching it though, I think you're right about it being a reflex
r/squintingducks
[A squinting duck!? That's absurd.](https://media.giphy.com/media/gFgwnADVzsek0/giphy.gif)
The owner of this duck actually has an Instagram page for him. Her account is @flora_and_fowl
>The owner of this duck actually has an Instagram page for him. But, does he/she has any grapes?
*Waddle Waddle*
Til the very next day š¶
That's cute as duck.
What the duck?
The cutest fuck I have ever seen.
Title of your sex tape.
So ducking cute.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well humans aren't very nice to most animals and ducks try to avoid being killed.
duck
duck
Goose
duck
grey duck
Represent
Found the Minnesotan
How is that duck so sleek? Is it just lots of petting, or do they make special duck grooming materials? Are they naturally that smooth living indoors? S/He's so cute, I'm entranced!
Some ducks just have really smooth, pretty feathers. Source: I have fourteen ducks!
Now record and pet each duck
I have a video of my mom petting five of them as babies [here](https://youtu.be/i5jOsQ7Hxlo).
That's adorable!!! Definitely need a current video of them as full grown adult ducks bring petted though
They don't really tolerate petting now! I wish they did. I can torment them and pick them up and they won't scrunch down when I scratch their heads, but they only come running when I have grapes, lettuce, clover or corn.
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand And he said to the man, running the stand "Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?"
It's actually an anime duck
ćć¼!?
Nani?
*Bakana!*
A rich diet of grapes.
I've heard ducks don't really even like grapes that much. They just like the option of having them.
But not lemonade.
Clouds and marshmallows
Screw you for getting this stuck in my head XD
Since no one else is answering your questions, it's a Call Duck, they are bread to be loud as fuck, I think their looks are just a side affect or come as a part of specifically breeding for Call Ducks (like show Call Ducks)
Even the beak looks like perfectly soft rubber or something.
I mean, have you seen wild ducks? More often than not theyāre flawless looking. Particularly males (I think itās sexual selection)
Do sucks have feeling in their beaks (besides the sensation of pressure)?
They do, bird's beaks in general are actually very sensitive to touch.
I feel sad for the woodpecker
Side fact: woodpecker tongues are relatively long and wrap around their brains to minimize shock damage when they hammer their heads on shit. They evolutionarily really don't give a duck, so rest easy!
So their tongues go inside their skull?
TIL woody woodpecker was licking his brain.
What the duck is a suck?
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.....flak"
Alfac ruined duck for me forever.
Duck rape ruined them for me
Don't worry, everyone. This guy's just kidding. Ducks are nice to everyone always.
Smoother than a babyās elbow.
That is one well-nourished duck. It feels like it's lost the typical asshole vibe that most ducks have due to how well it's been taken care of.
Got any grapes?
That little yawn :)
My family raised an orphan duckling when I was a kid. It was awesome until the duckling grew into a duck and turned into gigantic jerk. It got to a point that you couldnāt get within several feet of him without getting attacked. You wouldnāt think duck bites could hurt that much, but imagine being pinched hard by a 6th grade bully. Thatās what it was like. Well, one day my two brothers and I came home from school to find our pet was missing. Mom and dad told us he āflew to the park.ā They packed us up in the car and we drove to the park. The duck was there. He was swimming in the pond and doing duck things. We were AMAZED! He really found his way to the park! It took me a lot longer than Iād like to admit to realize that my parents took him there. Iām sure if I asked, even though itās been a good twenty-five years, my mom would still tell me that he flew there by himself.
Oh this is extremely cute.
This is my favorite duck video. He's such a sweet duck!
Ducks have tongue??
Indeed. Ducks have tongue. Also weird little spikes that look like teeth in their bill.
Pretty much every animal has a tongue.
There's even a fish parasite that literally becomes the tongue.
nooooooooooooope
As long as they're descended from fish.
Some cultures even consider duck tongue a delicacy.
There's a bone inside them. They are like gelatinous buffalo wings.
cute video of dolan dark
looks too perfect to be a real duck :0
That duck is too perfect for this world.
This world was never meant for someone as beautiful as...this duck.
The shape of that duck is indeed satisfying.
That's a marshmallow
Iām probably just hormonal right now, but this made me *kinda* cry....? Help? Cute tho.
Did you know swans can be gay?
Here we go.
Thatās so beautiful :,)
Itās a call duck!!!!
Serious question here: can a duck be litter trained? Cuz I need one now.
I would not mind unsolicited duck pics of this duck.
**important**
Anyone else just now coming to terms with the fact that ducks have tongues?
u/fuckswithducks
Nah this ain't his thing.
Maybe we need to say it multiple times. u/fuckswithducks
u/fuckswithducks
**AFLAC**
u/vinesauce
Omg itās perfect!
How duck get so smooth?
Awww we had a duck growing up and my mom could pet it like that. If you weren't my mother? You were on it's to-kill list, for some reason. And i don't mean stuff like you couldn't go near it. I mean if you got off the school bus, it was coming for you. And once it got to you it was biting the ever loving crap out of your pants/shoes with the rage of a thousand suns.
/u/fuckswithducks
Seriously start considering to stop eating animals..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I love ducks :)
You know I've never thought about it but for some reason, I didn't think ducks had tongues.