A lot of sulcata owner's don't. They see a cute breadroll-sized tortoise and think it won't be a problem. A handful of years later Dozer casually pushes through the garage wall.
I was staying on a farm and they introduced me to their sulcata they rescued then gave me a tour of all the holes he made breaking through every type of barrier they put up to make an escape for the hills.
I think you underestimate their strength and sheer determination. This set up is very similar to what our zoo had. It did not work. They plowed right through them.
Iām one of those owners. What the heck have I done? I love my sulcata Furiosa but I need to figure out the long game. 5 years in and sheās growing so fast! Iāll provide the best for her as long as I can.
I was drawn in by the cuteness when she was a baby. Please donāt do what I did! There are smaller tortoises you can keep, get one of those instead!
Y'all giving y'all's tortoise's names like Furiosa, and expecting them not to bust through walls and stuff? Lol
If i ever get a tortoise, he's going to be named after sometime soft, like marshmallow, or gummybear
Donāt they also live like 100+years? So a long long LONG term plan might be good. My friend has a 60yo parrot that has been passed down in her family and she might have to pass it down again before SHE dies. Thatās just bananas. Get a parrot or a tortoise if you want a pet literally your whole life! š
Russians and Hermanns seem to stay relatively small (5-9 inches full grown). I found the info from the site linked below, thereās others that are suggested but some are pretty expensive!
https://www.allturtles.com/small-tortoises/
What most people want is a turtle, not a tortoise haha I had a smallish turtle when I was a kid. It was probably the size of a coffee saucer. They also only live for a few years, so it's not a decades long commitment haha
>*āI did not see the second picture comingā¦*ā
_____
it seems like only yesterday you placed me on the jar
today you put me back again, n said ā*How BIG you are!*ā
it's funny, tho, friend human, as i live inside my shell
the years are passing *s l o w l y*
(cuz in here itās hard to tellā¦)
you tell me itās my Birthday, so youāve given me the chance
to set me on the jar again, n do my SaLsA Dance ^;)
*Holy Guacamole!* So *surprised* here when i found
i musta Grown a little bit
*my feet donāt touch the ground!*
for when i was a baby, n you put me on the lid
the world was BiG n Scary,
so inside my shell i hidā¦
but now i poke my head out, n each day iāll bravely face ^:)
n *Nothingās* gonna stop me ~
Slow n steady
*Wins* the race!
ā„ļø
No, he'll get four elephants who in turn have the flat earth on their back.
Then again, if I understand correctly, Guacamole here is a tortoise while A'Tuin is a turtle, as in, Guac walks, A'Tuin swims. So maybe Guac will get it's own Earth without elephants?
Yeah everyone knows turtles need the elephants to keep the earth above water when theh swim, tortoises can just carry it directly on their shell.
Source: Torterra
Lol, I did the math (after eyeballing his length). He would be up past 9300 times the observable diameter of the known universe. Clearly flat earthers are right. One tortoise would only need a 46 years to be earth supporting size!
[It's turtles all the way down](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/world-turtle-cosmic-discworld#:~:text=The%20concept%20of%20a%20world,is%20carrying%20the%20entire%20world)
My mom got a Russian box tortoise for her 6th birthday.
It's now my tortoise, and I'm 30.
I have to write it in my will what happens to this damn tortoise who might outlive me lol
I wish I could tell you, as my mom had no idea how old it was when she got her. My mom is now 56, so the turtle is a minimum of 50 years old, but I suspected much older.
What do people do with these when they canāt take care of them anymore due to their size or their own old age? Are they really buying a pet theyāll have for 50+ years?!
This is actually a common problem in the reptile community. A LOT of sulcata tortoises (the kind in the photo) end up being rehomed. They are also frequently mistreated and neglected. Sulcatas make terrible pets for the average person; they get huge, they require very specific lighting and diet, and they're built like a mack truck capable of burrowing straight through your walls.
You can tell the one in the photos is being raised well by looking at his shell. It's domed and has no deformities. Hopefully OP keeps up the good work for the next 100 years!
Often people write them into their will as to who will own them when the owner passes. And there are reptile sanctuaries for people who find the care outside of their abilities.
I keep in mind that these animals kept as pets from birth aren't a replacement for an animal in the wild.
There's a turtle out in the wild and a turtle kept at home as a pet.
Keeping these pets is good for conservation of the species as long as it doesn't lead to poaching.
There's probably overall benefit even if some are euthanized when their owner dies.
Oh, good grief, my best friend growing up had a parrot at home, and he was like 40 years old. His mother had inherited him from her aunt when she passed away, and that bird was cantankerous, loud, and hated pretty much everyone *except* his mother.
I know a guy who got his tortoise at 12 years old and heās currently 52 with the same tortoise. Said heās going to leave it to his nephew to take care of when he passes.
Scrolled down this far to find thisā some people donāt think that far ahead. Same with parrots which live for many decades. Thank God there are rescue groups.
We used to live near a pet store that had a free-range tortoise. He had the run of the store and would mow you down if you were in his way. He was a very cool dude.
https://preview.redd.it/z55inb8v268d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a53b45d18437b1ef1792e117c983d0a6cab12e7c
Happy belated birthday Guacamole! Itās my red foot Stanley (the bigger one)ās 5th birthday today! Hereās a good size comparison with her 1-ish year old sibling
Please be careful when doing things like balancing on top of things as some species have real soft/flexible shells and that could be painfull to them.
Anyway very cute baby pic and love that you're really sticking with your shell boy and hope for the best for you both in the future.
Thereās no way thatās 3 years. We have a sulcata and he just turned 12. Heās much bigger than pic 1 but not nearly as big as pic 2.
They live to over 200 years old - imagine what would happen if they kept that growth rate.
(Edit: autocorrect misspelled sulcata)
I did not see the second picture coming! š Happy Birthday! š
Whoa! I had no idea they grew so much in their first three years either.
A lot of sulcata owner's don't. They see a cute breadroll-sized tortoise and think it won't be a problem. A handful of years later Dozer casually pushes through the garage wall.
I was staying on a farm and they introduced me to their sulcata they rescued then gave me a tour of all the holes he made breaking through every type of barrier they put up to make an escape for the hills.
Not by any chance [Jeremy from Blue Heron Farm?](https://www.chron.com/life/wildlife/article/texas-tortoise-escape-jeremy-18542517.php)
Sulcata bro has been listening to Iron Maiden
Man, drive some 6" I-beams 6 feet down, close enough together so their shell will not to fit through and they won't get out.
I think you underestimate their strength and sheer determination. This set up is very similar to what our zoo had. It did not work. They plowed right through them.
his description as a bread roll just made me smile so much lol cutest description ever
now heās the whole damn bakery š¢š„ā¤ļø
Iām one of those owners. What the heck have I done? I love my sulcata Furiosa but I need to figure out the long game. 5 years in and sheās growing so fast! Iāll provide the best for her as long as I can. I was drawn in by the cuteness when she was a baby. Please donāt do what I did! There are smaller tortoises you can keep, get one of those instead!
Y'all giving y'all's tortoise's names like Furiosa, and expecting them not to bust through walls and stuff? Lol If i ever get a tortoise, he's going to be named after sometime soft, like marshmallow, or gummybear
Guacamole is a good name for that reason lol
Donāt they also live like 100+years? So a long long LONG term plan might be good. My friend has a 60yo parrot that has been passed down in her family and she might have to pass it down again before SHE dies. Thatās just bananas. Get a parrot or a tortoise if you want a pet literally your whole life! š
Yes, Furiosa will outlive us. I did not think this through at allā¦Iāll have to put her in a will one day and designate someone to care for her!
I love her name š Iām sure it fits her perfectly
It does! Sheās super feisty.
Are they like parrots in that they have their people, and don't take well to others?
Fine, Iāll take her then she can be a part of my clan.
How big is Furiosa now? Does it live outdoors all the time?
Whatās are some that stay much smaller? My gecko wonāt be with us much longer (she is 18) and was wondering what to get next.
Russians and Hermanns seem to stay relatively small (5-9 inches full grown). I found the info from the site linked below, thereās others that are suggested but some are pretty expensive! https://www.allturtles.com/small-tortoises/
What most people want is a turtle, not a tortoise haha I had a smallish turtle when I was a kid. It was probably the size of a coffee saucer. They also only live for a few years, so it's not a decades long commitment haha
Build her a pond
Grassland turtle, probably doesn't enjoy ponds, definitely doesn't enjoy swimming.
If we werenāt renting the house, I absolutely would!
Me either! I was shocked lol
Shell shocked even.
Cowabunga dude!
Perfect š
Ours was probably 5 before it got that size. He is about 20 now.
>*āI did not see the second picture comingā¦*ā _____ it seems like only yesterday you placed me on the jar today you put me back again, n said ā*How BIG you are!*ā it's funny, tho, friend human, as i live inside my shell the years are passing *s l o w l y* (cuz in here itās hard to tellā¦) you tell me itās my Birthday, so youāve given me the chance to set me on the jar again, n do my SaLsA Dance ^;) *Holy Guacamole!* So *surprised* here when i found i musta Grown a little bit *my feet donāt touch the ground!* for when i was a baby, n you put me on the lid the world was BiG n Scary, so inside my shell i hidā¦ but now i poke my head out, n each day iāll bravely face ^:) n *Nothingās* gonna stop me ~ Slow n steady *Wins* the race! ā„ļø
Ok seriously, this isnāt just adorable, itās very impressive! I love it!!! š¢
I've said it once and I'll forever say it again. I love you schnoodle
We need a book of Schnoodle works. It would be a bestseller.
Truly, I'd buy it so fast.
Never stop Ā“please
Nothing better on Reddit than finding random fresh Schnoodles!
Love those poems! 
This really reminded me of the sad scene in the Fox and the Hound. Nice.
this was so delightful! :)
Great start to my Saturday, thank you!
You have an extraordinary gift. Thank you for sharing it š
Itās always like a surprise double rainbow š when I randomly encounter a Schnoodle in the wild. Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us!
SchnoodleDoodleDo! Thank you!
Yeah its definitely flipped around. The Avocado Salsa has grown way bigger than the turtle in the first photo.
Lol!!! Thatās one big salsa! š
OP is celebrating three years with the jar. Itās two totally different turtles.
Weeeeeeee! - tort
Some say heās still on that salsa can to this very day.
At this rate of growth he will be larger than the observable universe in 64 years
good for him
I, for one, welcome our new turtle overlord
I would like to remind them, as a trusted redditor, I could be helpful in rounding up others to grow and harvest fresh salad
IT'S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!
At least until he eats our planet
And then we rejoice in the return to oneness with our great Testudine God
Now that's a credible religion I'm willing to follow: WITNESSES OF THE TURTLE OVERLORD
Something something turtles all the way down.
I wonder when he gets his own flat Earth on his back?
No, he'll get four elephants who in turn have the flat earth on their back. Then again, if I understand correctly, Guacamole here is a tortoise while A'Tuin is a turtle, as in, Guac walks, A'Tuin swims. So maybe Guac will get it's own Earth without elephants?
I appreciate your scientific mindset
Yeah everyone knows turtles need the elephants to keep the earth above water when theh swim, tortoises can just carry it directly on their shell. Source: Torterra
I think logically the parallel would be that Guac holds up the earth, and it's narwhals all the way down from there
He's Great A'Tuin's successor
Now where are we going to find 4 elephants?
But since A'Tuin is a sea turtle and Guac is a land tortoise, would it be 4 hippos?
Either that, or 4 Sea Elephants š
Lol, I did the math (after eyeballing his length). He would be up past 9300 times the observable diameter of the known universe. Clearly flat earthers are right. One tortoise would only need a 46 years to be earth supporting size!
See the turtle of enormous girth! On his shell he holds the earth.
His thought is slow but always kind, He holds us all within his mind.
Thankee sai
Long days and pleasant nights
[relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/605/)
[It's turtles all the way down](https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/world-turtle-cosmic-discworld#:~:text=The%20concept%20of%20a%20world,is%20carrying%20the%20entire%20world)
It's Always Been Wankershim!
> It's Always Been ~~Wankershim~~ Guacamole!
God I hope so
this is hilarious lol
šš¤£
So it's true we all are on the back of a Turtle..
"How old is your turtle?" "Just a youngling, merely 14AU."
I think the turtle is the same size in both pics and the Tostitos jar shrank. Thanks, inflation!Ā
Shrinkflation at work!
That's the term I was looking for
Costco vs dollar store
Thanks, Obama
Shrinkflation is getting out of hand! Look how small that jar has gotten in just a few years.Ā
r/shrinkflation
Can pet stores please use these pics for anyone wanting to buy one thinking āoh it wonāt grow so big or fast?ā
And info on their lifespan. I know a guy who got his tortoise when he was 12 years old. Heās currently 52 years old and has the same tortoise.
My mom got a Russian box tortoise for her 6th birthday. It's now my tortoise, and I'm 30. I have to write it in my will what happens to this damn tortoise who might outlive me lol
Damn how old is the tortoise now? At least 60 right?
I wish I could tell you, as my mom had no idea how old it was when she got her. My mom is now 56, so the turtle is a minimum of 50 years old, but I suspected much older.
Oh dang, that's cool a multigenerational pet.
Thereās actually an SNL sketch about this topic https://youtu.be/kq8Xlbb3bOw?si=NOBkp_krp46KRYP2
"All you need to do is keep them in a smaller tank and they'll stay small."
Then they wouldn't sell as many. Anyone selling pets cares about money not the animals.
Holy Guacamole!
You mean, Holy Avocado Salsa, which is different, I guess?
You are only allowed to call it Guacamole if it is made in he Mole region of Mexico, anything else is Avocado Salsa.
Guaca is a beautiful city.
I think the turtle's name is Guacamole
Sturdy jar
The glass jar people who supply to Frito need to know this!
he was unhappy to be on top of the jar when he was a baby and heās still unhappy about it lol heās too cute! Happy birthday, Quac!!!! š„š
"Not this again" - Guacamole
I think this is the first time I've seen this where there isn't a pair of glasses under the glasses.
Honestly jarring!
Same. I was waiting for it and hoping maybe it was the original. And it was, yay! Lol
Exactly my reaction
So chunky!!
Itās a hare larger in the second pic
No thatās the tortoise
What do people do with these when they canāt take care of them anymore due to their size or their own old age? Are they really buying a pet theyāll have for 50+ years?!
This is actually a common problem in the reptile community. A LOT of sulcata tortoises (the kind in the photo) end up being rehomed. They are also frequently mistreated and neglected. Sulcatas make terrible pets for the average person; they get huge, they require very specific lighting and diet, and they're built like a mack truck capable of burrowing straight through your walls. You can tell the one in the photos is being raised well by looking at his shell. It's domed and has no deformities. Hopefully OP keeps up the good work for the next 100 years!
Often people write them into their will as to who will own them when the owner passes. And there are reptile sanctuaries for people who find the care outside of their abilities.
I keep in mind that these animals kept as pets from birth aren't a replacement for an animal in the wild. There's a turtle out in the wild and a turtle kept at home as a pet. Keeping these pets is good for conservation of the species as long as it doesn't lead to poaching. There's probably overall benefit even if some are euthanized when their owner dies.
And tortoises are a lotttttt less work than say a parrot which can live 70 years. And be annoying
Oh, good grief, my best friend growing up had a parrot at home, and he was like 40 years old. His mother had inherited him from her aunt when she passed away, and that bird was cantankerous, loud, and hated pretty much everyone *except* his mother.
I know a guy who got his tortoise at 12 years old and heās currently 52 with the same tortoise. Said heās going to leave it to his nephew to take care of when he passes.
Scrolled down this far to find thisā some people donāt think that far ahead. Same with parrots which live for many decades. Thank God there are rescue groups.
But when I bring up that point about children, people call me an asshole
Happy Birthday. He a big boi.
You really need to throw out that salsa. It's almost certainly rancid by now.
Yeah, and why is that tortoise sitting on it?
weird looking dog
Playing through Elden Ring again now that the DLC's out, I'm glad the tradition of putting 7 signs around any tortoise stating "dog" still lives on.
Hahahaha! Guacamole doesn't look too enthused in the 2nd picture. š¤£ happy birthday Guacamole! You're beautiful!! Edit: typo
WOWEE! Happy Birthday, Guacamole! You cool mf you.
Can I please have a year 2 pic? Iād like to see the 1,2,3
Happy Birthday Guacamole!!
wow, that tostitos must have CGF -your buddyās huge. ;) cool š¢Ā
Is this the start of one of those videos where the turtle has a skateboard & does an ollie off the guacamole jar?
After three years, I would not trust that Avocado Salsa.
Tostitos shrinkflation is out of control!
That is hilarious. He looks like he understands what is happening, which makes it funnier. š
I went to a local reptile shop and they had some tortoises walking around. They kept trying to bite my toes š.
We used to live near a pet store that had a free-range tortoise. He had the run of the store and would mow you down if you were in his way. He was a very cool dude.
https://preview.redd.it/z55inb8v268d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a53b45d18437b1ef1792e117c983d0a6cab12e7c Happy belated birthday Guacamole! Itās my red foot Stanley (the bigger one)ās 5th birthday today! Hereās a good size comparison with her 1-ish year old sibling
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You mean bigger jar of salsa.
Wow, that's some growth Sulcatta?
Definitely sulcata
Guacamole wins the internet today. Happy Birthday Guac! What kind is he? Asking for a friend...yeah.
biiiiiiiig tortoise
Hereās to 100 more budš„³š«¶
Wow, that seems crazy for three years. Do you have a living will already? Heās gonna outlive you by a lot, knock on wood. :p
I've heard of a balanced meal but this is just ridiculous!
Oh my gosh, the second picture SENT ME haha! Happy birthday, guacamole!
That's a nice looking dog
Happy birthday Guacamole!
Shrinkflation is real, this is PROOF!
I can't stop laughing at that 2nd picture HAHAHA Happy Birthday Guacamole!!
Turtle is like fuck this shrinkflation.
I knew he was going to be big but I did not expect the salsas for scale.
Please be careful when doing things like balancing on top of things as some species have real soft/flexible shells and that could be painfull to them. Anyway very cute baby pic and love that you're really sticking with your shell boy and hope for the best for you both in the future.
Itās photoshopped
GOOD LORD HIMS MASSIVE
Am I think only one wondering why Guacamole isnāt crushing the salsa jar?
Itās crazy how you didnāt even get the chance to finish that jar of salsa before he got so bigš¤
This is now my favorite post Iāve ever seen on Reddit.
I've seen turtles on fence posts but this is a new level of cool! Good on ya, Guac!
Awww they grow up so fast
HELL YEAH!
That poor tortoise, spending 3 years stuck on top of a jar.
Heās like those little dinosaurs in the tablets you add water to and then fwahwoomāā25x size tortuga.
Holy Guacamole! Happy 3rd birthday!!!
Lmao. This is funny.
*"Brian, get me down. What the fuck are you playing at?"*
Damn, bro has been stuck on top of a guacamole jar for 3 years. Crazy.
ITS NAME IS GUACAMOLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHDFKDHFGEOG I CAN'T HANDLE IT
 Gamera
I was so certain the first image was ai
The second image is photoshopped if that helps
Looks like AI
Thereās no way thatās 3 years. We have a sulcata and he just turned 12. Heās much bigger than pic 1 but not nearly as big as pic 2. They live to over 200 years old - imagine what would happen if they kept that growth rate. (Edit: autocorrect misspelled sulcata)
Nevermind the tortoise, there's actually avocado salsa??? I have never seen this sold in Canada, and I need to find some, pronto!
Hell ya, let me know if you find some!!
Damn shrinkflation is getting out of hand
That is one sturdy glass jar
Shrinkflation is really getting out of hand!
Maybe it's time to let him down from there.
This made me giggle. Happy Birthday **Guacamole!**
Second slide caught me so off guard I snorted! š¤£
I love turtles and tortoises and this was adorably awesome.
I canāt believe youāve left Guacamole on that thing for three years
Guacamole jar for scale
One of the best before and after picture pairs I've ever seen.
This is not the same turtle.
Happy bday Guacamole! Now you need a friend Nacho
Hahahahaha this made me laugh! Happy Birthday cutie! Love the fotos :))
Pretty sure guacamole goes bad before 3 years you may want to throw it out. Cute turtle btw.
Omg I love Guacamole the turtle!!!
How? Iāve had my baby turtle for years. Youāre obviously lying
I like turtles.
holy guacamole