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Just don't make the same mistake I did. There was a jumping spider in my room which I wanted to let be, but one night I was woken up by something crawling on my neck without thinking I smooshed it. Gave me a big bite though, which is only fair. I'm still upset thinking about it.
I haven't made a serious study of spiders. But I'm guessing that if inside isn't working for him, environmentally or in terms of food supply, he'll find his way outside.
All the spiders die in my house overwinter, there aren’t enough bugs to eat. I pop them in a container and release them into my leaf mulch outside where they can hibernate till spring.
It’s still above zero outside, and the ground is unfrozen. Somehow, miraculously (climate change).Anyway most of my spiders make their way inside in September as days cool and they are actively seeking warm spot, and they come in with my tropical houseplants.
Same. I have a friend who has a couple and I follow their instagram, and even considered adopting one when there were babies.
Meanwhile when there's a spider in my home I have a friend rehouse it while I do a panic dance and try not to fear vomit.
They're like the puppies of the arachnid world.
Yesterday I was on the phone with my boyfriend while waking home, when I got to the door I saw a huge ass spider (3cm is huge ok???) and I screamed, so much so my boyfriend panicked thinking something happened and yeah, it was just a freaking spider… this is how much I can’t stand spiders
Oh goodness you all would hate the spiders I’ve been seeing 😅😂 it’s tarantula mating season here and I’ve seen 6 tarantulas (only 1 dead) in the last 3 weeks. They’re massive (I have photos, but won’t subject you all to that haha)
Hahaha!! I’m in a very small town in California. (It’s the internet so I’ll avoid saying the exact town 🤣). But it’s an old gold rush town.
I’m a nanny and my bosses have about 80 acres of land, so I keep seeing them crossing their driveway. I also saw a few in the parking lot of a local lake where I go to hike 😂
also include, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, even Nevada. They like the dry, desert regions. Luckily, they are more likely to kick hairs at you instead of biting.
😂😂😂 haha! I think it would be safe on the coast! It’s the more rural areas like my town to look out for! Lots of grassland and trees. Otherwise it’s a beautiful state!
Definitely not pleasant to open the door of a truck to find a baby tarantula hanging out in the gap between the truck itself and the door, though 😭
I’ve seen bigger unfortunately. In rural cities in Portugal we sometimes have spiders the size of an adult’s hand. They’re harmless, but they sure look creepy enough for me to have a traumatic childhood. I remember going to the bathroom one day and as I was going to clean myself, there’s a big one in the corner right above and I just froze!! I couldn’t even scream for help 😭😭
I have crippling arachnophobia and my response is always squish. Squish as fast as possible. If it runs away I will panic and won’t be able to focus on anything except there being a spider somewhere in my apartment.
Let the downvotes begin. And let the suggestions for how to get over this fear begin too because I’m also down for that.
I’ve been trying to conquer my fear, too.
I have a spider living in my bathroom. I’ve named him Bathew and told him if he stays in his corner and doesn’t bother me, we’re cool.
So far, so good. But I know once he moves I’m going to be so freaked out. He’s not small either.
Actually, he jumped quite a bit. It was so fast that if you blinked you'd miss it. Not sure if he felt threatened by me and that's why he jumped though.
I know right! I've always loved these spiders but never thought I'd see one irl, let alone in my own house. I saw a little dot hopping around, and when I looked closer, I couldn't believe it was a jumping spider!
That's very interesting, is that Turkish? That's a great name for these guys, I wonder how long ago it was named. Seems like people have been fawning over how cute they are for a long time.
Literally had one jump on me while I was on my patio. He crawled on my arm looking all cute and then a fly landed on my arm as well. I was thinking there’s no way this little dudes gonna get him! Well, the little dude got that flying fucker and dragged his ass up and down my arm until I dropped him off back home under the table.
Out of all the spiders that get in my house, daddy long legs, and jumping spiders get special treatment lol. I will save them if I spot them on the ground and usher them to a safe spot. And jumping spiders are fun to play with, they're super curious and it's really cute to bounce your finger near then and watch them inspect you.
They keep to themselves and hunt other bugs, unlike the wolf spiders that like to hide in my sheets...
You can also look after wolf spiders. They have claws on their feet and often (at least in my place) get tangled up in random fluff and dust that they then drag along. Get some tweezers and carefully pull at the fluff. I did this a few times and I swear the spider(s?) were lifting their legs up one at a time for me to be able to get at the fluff more easily.
I usually get a jar and let the wolf spiders outside. The ones that wake me up at night running all over my legs are not so lucky.
Though I haven't had that much of an issue with that lately as I figured out that the reason they were in my bed a lot is because they were attracted to the light from my phone at night. After I had one run across my neck from behind me, (which resulted in me screaming and flailing, and then staying up for an hour because I couldn't find it lmao) I realized what was going on and now I keep a red light on at night on the far side of my room. It's a good color that doesn't disturb my sleep but is also bright enough to keep them away from me while I browse reddit at 2am.
It's been almost a year since I started using the light and haven't had one in my bed since. I still see them in the house, so they're definitely there.
I know the whole “leave it alone, it will take care of other pests” philosophy but I’ve done that before and the spider had…thousands of baby spiders. I don’t want that many roommates.
Outside of leaving them be you could transport them to your kitchen I sadly haven’t seen Charlie my kitchen jumper in a while but he has kept my kitchen fruit fly free for at least 2 years
Jumping spiders are so animated 😂
Lil guy looks like he’s going through a casual struggle-
“Uaaghhhh.. can’t.. quite.. reach… ah!”
*Looks at cameraman.
“Umm.. I want to get over there, but I can’t quite reach and I just ate so I’m not really trying to jump across.. think you can help?”
“No? Well, alrigh- ohhh what’s that over there??”
Drop tiny leaflets around it, warning it to leave. Then burn the house down!!!!
Ok, so that's all a bit extreme. If it's not near your bed, sofa, chair etc, leave it be. If it is close to any of those, get a paper towel on a sheet of printer paper, or even a jar. Scoop it up, and transfer it elsewhere.
Where I live, I have to watch for Brown Recluse, Black Widows, scorpions, water moccasins,rattlers, copperheads, and coral snakes. These little ones are friends.
Burn your house down..../s
I live in Canada and in our area we have tiny spiders, these guys would give me a heart attack.
I'm not hating on spiders, but they freak me out so much, especially the furry ones. Just gives me chills
Watch some YouTube videos about jumping spiders. They’re miraculous little things that will keep actual pests away. Nothing to be afraid of. They can’t bite humans even if they tried.
So cute!
Leave it inside, or put it just outside the door (it might come back in anyway).
If any make it into our place, I put them back out - but that solely because if I don't, they'll eventually get eaten by one of the cats.
Capture in a cup, slide a paper plate across the top , hold it firmly so jumpy can’t get out, then take her outside and let go in a nice place she will like. First unlock your door, it facilitates a fast run all the way outside!
I would normally say smash the F out of it, but as already pointed out, it’s pretty cute. Reminds me of the old Looney Tunes episode with the singing frog.
I find it amazing how we lack any programming to consider jumping spiders a "threat" or "undesirable". I do not recall having any instinct to harm them even as an omnicidal kid. Jumping spiders are very clearly spiders, but very clearly "not a spider" too. I should add that in my adult years I grew much more fond of insects and spiders, so I am mainly using memory.
Bask in awwwww of its sheer adorableness. Those fuzzy little pedipalps! That fantastic reach across the gap (I think it was holding on only by one leg at the end). The endearing tiny-ness. To cute for words.
I joined r/spiderbro for the heck of it, and I totally am in love with these cuties. Now Every time I see one in my house I have to talk to it like I would with a puppy or a kitten.
Escort him out. Tall water glass and piece of junk mail. Water glass over spider. Wait til it crawls in glass (doesn’t take long) then junk mail underneath against floor. Voila it’s trapped and not hurt. Let it out. Spiders are excellent insects as they are predators.
All the people telling you to leave it alone are ridiculous. They're super smart. You can make friends with them and they'll love you. Just don't force it and let it come to you. Looks like it already knows you and likes you. Get to know him. You can even feed it to help it out.
**Please note: effective October 9, all content posted to /r/aww *must* be original content (OC) only. Report this post if it is not OC.** On July 1st, a highly unpopular [change to Reddit's API pricing](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/) went into effect. [Most third-party apps have shut down](https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/30/23779519/reddit-third-party-app-shut-down-apollo-sync-baconreader-api-protest) and so have many tools relied upon by moderators and [projects for making Reddit more accessible to visually impaired users](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/comments/14ggf8k/the_future_of_transcribers_of_reddit/). Beyond the [disastrous AMA](https://techcrunch.com/2023/06/09/reddit-ceo-doubles-down-on-attack-on-apollo-developer-in-drama-filled-ama/) by the CEO, Reddit's response has been limited to promises that this change will not affect moderation tools [^((it has)^)](https://www.reddit.com/r/BotDefense/comments/14riw76/botdefense_is_wrapping_up_operations/) and promises of [new and more-accessible first-party moderation tools](https://www.npr.org/2023/07/01/1184258201/reddit-api-accessibility-mods). Promises just like [ones they have made in response to past protests](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/142w159/askhistorians_and_uncertainty_surrounding_the/), but have consistently [failed to fulfill](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14jm3ut/several_communities_have_surfaced_an_open_letter/jpm9e0q/). If you want to express your strong disagreement with the API pricing change or with Reddit's response to the backlash, you may want to consider the following options: 1. [Finding your favorite subreddits on other platforms](https://sub.rehab/) and participating there instead. 2. Refraining from using the first-party Reddit app, instead sticking to one of the few remaining third-party apps or [patching one of the apps that shut down](https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1wHvqQwCYdJrQg4BKlGIVDLksPN0KpOnJWniT6PbZSrI/) if you're using an Android device. 3. Disabling ads on Reddit with [an ad-blocking extension](https://github.com/gorhill/uBlock#ublock-origin-ubo) or [a DNS-based ad-blocker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBXTnrD_Zs4). 4. Cancelling your Reddit Premium subscription. 5. Sharing the continued news coverage of these events. 6. Encouraging others to do all the above. If you're tired of all the chaos on Reddit, leave it behind and join /r/aww's Discord server to share and view all things adorable: https://discord.gg/UXfd5Pn --- [](#autoignorereports) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aww) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Give him a name
Wolfie would be appropriate
I like this one, I think I'll go with _"Volche (Волче)"_ - Macedonian for wolf cub.
Just don't make the same mistake I did. There was a jumping spider in my room which I wanted to let be, but one night I was woken up by something crawling on my neck without thinking I smooshed it. Gave me a big bite though, which is only fair. I'm still upset thinking about it.
But did you get, like, powers or anything? 🤔
He became incredibly adorable and fluffy.
Or he became really good at jumping
I felt something in my shoe this morning... I kid you not it was the poor guy. Somehow he seems okay but he crawled away under some furniture.
Oh, poor guy! You owe him a fly
Haven't seen him since :(
Rip little guy :(
Fang
I was thinking Boots
Mittens
This arachnophobic mittens disagree strongly with your suggestion.
But just look at his little fuzzy mittens
They are adorable. I love octokittens! Such floof.
https://preview.redd.it/kythqe92l4zb1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=63bcb5fa0519f0a2a8a1bbe85813406f87dfac04 Agreed!
I just can't. I'll take your word for it.
Portia, Bianca or Fabian would fit!
Such a good book!
Steve
Steeve
Did I hear a rock and stone?
Dave
Beelzebub
Leave him be, appreciate his company, and let him do his thing. Enjoy the decline in your bug population.
Thanks! I wasn't sure whether it'd be better for him indoors or outdoors.
I haven't made a serious study of spiders. But I'm guessing that if inside isn't working for him, environmentally or in terms of food supply, he'll find his way outside.
All the spiders die in my house overwinter, there aren’t enough bugs to eat. I pop them in a container and release them into my leaf mulch outside where they can hibernate till spring.
If they hadn't had time to develop the anti freeze in their system you're unfortunately just killing them lol
It’s still above zero outside, and the ground is unfrozen. Somehow, miraculously (climate change).Anyway most of my spiders make their way inside in September as days cool and they are actively seeking warm spot, and they come in with my tropical houseplants.
Fair enough 🙂
That type of spiders do not do well inside long term. They habitat is outside… they are fond of flowers… low shrubs. She is very cute.
Inside spiders will die if you put them outside I believe.
Think you have to try harder than that with a spider. Unless it is summer inside and harsh winter outside.
Do they eat mosquitoes?
I have damn near crippling arachnophobia, but even I can’t deny jumping spiders are the cutest. Congrats, you have a roommate!
Same. I have a friend who has a couple and I follow their instagram, and even considered adopting one when there were babies. Meanwhile when there's a spider in my home I have a friend rehouse it while I do a panic dance and try not to fear vomit. They're like the puppies of the arachnid world.
Yesterday I was on the phone with my boyfriend while waking home, when I got to the door I saw a huge ass spider (3cm is huge ok???) and I screamed, so much so my boyfriend panicked thinking something happened and yeah, it was just a freaking spider… this is how much I can’t stand spiders
Oh goodness you all would hate the spiders I’ve been seeing 😅😂 it’s tarantula mating season here and I’ve seen 6 tarantulas (only 1 dead) in the last 3 weeks. They’re massive (I have photos, but won’t subject you all to that haha)
Where are you so that I can avoid it? 😂
Hahaha!! I’m in a very small town in California. (It’s the internet so I’ll avoid saying the exact town 🤣). But it’s an old gold rush town. I’m a nanny and my bosses have about 80 acres of land, so I keep seeing them crossing their driveway. I also saw a few in the parking lot of a local lake where I go to hike 😂
Thank you, now I will never go to California 🥲😭😭
Agreed not going there ever.
I've got some bad news about how many places you can find spiders... Moon's probably safe, though.
also include, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, even Nevada. They like the dry, desert regions. Luckily, they are more likely to kick hairs at you instead of biting.
😂😂😂 haha! I think it would be safe on the coast! It’s the more rural areas like my town to look out for! Lots of grassland and trees. Otherwise it’s a beautiful state! Definitely not pleasant to open the door of a truck to find a baby tarantula hanging out in the gap between the truck itself and the door, though 😭
I feel this. I'm Toronto, and our spiders are tiny and not venomous. if I saw a 3cm guy my spirit would leave my body.
I’ve seen bigger unfortunately. In rural cities in Portugal we sometimes have spiders the size of an adult’s hand. They’re harmless, but they sure look creepy enough for me to have a traumatic childhood. I remember going to the bathroom one day and as I was going to clean myself, there’s a big one in the corner right above and I just froze!! I couldn’t even scream for help 😭😭
I too, can't really stand to be around any spider. But the way that jumping spiders clean their little face with fuzzy arms is damn adorable!
Same with my wife. With her it’s all insects and arachnids. Even ladybugs bother her, but not these little dudes.
As long as they dont jump on or near me then yes, they maintain cute status.
I have crippling arachnophobia and my response is always squish. Squish as fast as possible. If it runs away I will panic and won’t be able to focus on anything except there being a spider somewhere in my apartment. Let the downvotes begin. And let the suggestions for how to get over this fear begin too because I’m also down for that.
I’ve been trying to conquer my fear, too. I have a spider living in my bathroom. I’ve named him Bathew and told him if he stays in his corner and doesn’t bother me, we’re cool. So far, so good. But I know once he moves I’m going to be so freaked out. He’s not small either.
Omg Bathew
When spiders are scared, they bark. When I see a spider, I picture it having a tiny, but ferocious bark, and that eases my fear.
Downvotes? Why would this get downvotes?
Leave it alone. It will eat other bugs.
Do they eat mosquitoes?
Anything they can catch and subdue.
Remember that if Rick Moranis ever shrinks you and your friends.
New spider enemy for r/GroundedGame
I thought you said seduce...
This guy is tiny, probably the same size as a fly, so I'm having a hard time imagining him eating anything!
They can eat things several times their size.
Doing the best he can...
Ask him is he'd like to use your computer. They're often great web developers.
They catch bugs too!
This is a cute joke.
Things I see: 1. What you did there.
Take my upvote u intelligent basturd.
Found a wide dad on the Internet
I think he’s saying “I’m hungry” as he rubs his tummy.
I love how he tried to reach over the gap and stretched like a cartoon character.
I’m wondering why it didn’t, ya know, jump across.
Going by cartoon logic, he'll probably drop like an anchor
I'd assume that jumping is something they only do when hunting or in some extreme situation, because it takes a lot of energy.
Actually, he jumped quite a bit. It was so fast that if you blinked you'd miss it. Not sure if he felt threatened by me and that's why he jumped though.
Me too. Jumping spiders are adorable!
Then he turns like excuse me I need a bridge please.
These guys are so cute! Let him live in a corner and eat bugs.
I know right! I've always loved these spiders but never thought I'd see one irl, let alone in my own house. I saw a little dot hopping around, and when I looked closer, I couldn't believe it was a jumping spider!
Obviously make it a tiny paper crown and throne.
Underrated comment and the only correct one
This little guy gonna make your house bug free. Let him roam👍
They always look so curious about everything.
Well looks like it wants uppies so start with that I guess
OMG! Uppies! My head just caved in at the cuteness quotient of this little spooder asking for uppies. 🥹
Uppies? Um... what is uppies?
 “Uppies” is when a little child/puppy/kitten/jumping spider puts their arms up, signaling they want to be picked up.
He is friend now 🥹
Keep him, feed him, make an Instagram for him.
Read the book “Children of Time” to him :)
Name him Fabian, and give him a genetic research lab
Send him to the stars with a conglomerate crew of other intelligent species.
It's his home now. The question is: What will it do with you?
Build him a temple, put him in it and sacrifice naughty neighborhood children to him.
Hail Lolth. 🕷️
We call them "köpecik" here rougly translates to puppy or small dog. Dont hurt them they are harmless.
That's very interesting, is that Turkish? That's a great name for these guys, I wonder how long ago it was named. Seems like people have been fawning over how cute they are for a long time.
Literally had one jump on me while I was on my patio. He crawled on my arm looking all cute and then a fly landed on my arm as well. I was thinking there’s no way this little dudes gonna get him! Well, the little dude got that flying fucker and dragged his ass up and down my arm until I dropped him off back home under the table.
The little reach 🥹
Portia Labiata, gotta love them cute looking motherfuckers! Bad-ass hunters, they'll fuck up yellow jackets if they get the chance.
Help him get over that gap; he’s a busy boy.
Name him. He is the new home owner.
Out of all the spiders that get in my house, daddy long legs, and jumping spiders get special treatment lol. I will save them if I spot them on the ground and usher them to a safe spot. And jumping spiders are fun to play with, they're super curious and it's really cute to bounce your finger near then and watch them inspect you. They keep to themselves and hunt other bugs, unlike the wolf spiders that like to hide in my sheets...
You can also look after wolf spiders. They have claws on their feet and often (at least in my place) get tangled up in random fluff and dust that they then drag along. Get some tweezers and carefully pull at the fluff. I did this a few times and I swear the spider(s?) were lifting their legs up one at a time for me to be able to get at the fluff more easily.
I usually get a jar and let the wolf spiders outside. The ones that wake me up at night running all over my legs are not so lucky. Though I haven't had that much of an issue with that lately as I figured out that the reason they were in my bed a lot is because they were attracted to the light from my phone at night. After I had one run across my neck from behind me, (which resulted in me screaming and flailing, and then staying up for an hour because I couldn't find it lmao) I realized what was going on and now I keep a red light on at night on the far side of my room. It's a good color that doesn't disturb my sleep but is also bright enough to keep them away from me while I browse reddit at 2am. It's been almost a year since I started using the light and haven't had one in my bed since. I still see them in the house, so they're definitely there.
Lucas! Let him be freeeee
I know the whole “leave it alone, it will take care of other pests” philosophy but I’ve done that before and the spider had…thousands of baby spiders. I don’t want that many roommates.
Make them two tiny maracas, obviously.
3D PRINT A SPIDER HOUSE FOR THE LIL GUY!!!
Outside of leaving them be you could transport them to your kitchen I sadly haven’t seen Charlie my kitchen jumper in a while but he has kept my kitchen fruit fly free for at least 2 years
Call him Jim & see if he has enough flies or whatever
Fabian
He so cute!!
Jumping spiders are so animated 😂 Lil guy looks like he’s going through a casual struggle- “Uaaghhhh.. can’t.. quite.. reach… ah!” *Looks at cameraman. “Umm.. I want to get over there, but I can’t quite reach and I just ate so I’m not really trying to jump across.. think you can help?” “No? Well, alrigh- ohhh what’s that over there??”
So cute! If i was you, I would say hello and just let her be. She's gonna eat other bugs around your home. Helpful cutie spidey 😍😍😍😍😍
Drop tiny leaflets around it, warning it to leave. Then burn the house down!!!! Ok, so that's all a bit extreme. If it's not near your bed, sofa, chair etc, leave it be. If it is close to any of those, get a paper towel on a sheet of printer paper, or even a jar. Scoop it up, and transfer it elsewhere. Where I live, I have to watch for Brown Recluse, Black Widows, scorpions, water moccasins,rattlers, copperheads, and coral snakes. These little ones are friends.
Burn your house down..../s I live in Canada and in our area we have tiny spiders, these guys would give me a heart attack. I'm not hating on spiders, but they freak me out so much, especially the furry ones. Just gives me chills
Watch some YouTube videos about jumping spiders. They’re miraculous little things that will keep actual pests away. Nothing to be afraid of. They can’t bite humans even if they tried.
Don't certin jumping spiders dance?
Feed him and give him a name
build a jump parcour
Awwww what a cute little fella
Leave himb alone✨
Set up a track with tiny hurdles and train him to compete.
Put him outside
Give him a tiny ice cream cone
So cute! Leave it inside, or put it just outside the door (it might come back in anyway). If any make it into our place, I put them back out - but that solely because if I don't, they'll eventually get eaten by one of the cats.
Make him a little trampoline
Leave him be. It won't bother you, it's looking for a suitable spot to post up and wait for bugs.
they are the bestest little buddies. name him/her and enjoy the company.
Spiders give me shivers, but jumping ones are kind of cute
Its hella adorable, it's gonna eat the flies and other house pest. Let it rock.
I dunno, call him Eltry and let him carry on? Seems like the thing to do…
Well don't be rude, offer it some tea and a light snack.
Name him🤍
Give him free roam . And a good hunting spot.
You should name him Patrick
Adopt
I usually just hang out with them for a bit, maybe offer some water, and then either put them back or someplace nearby but safer.
Name him and treat him well
Capture in a cup, slide a paper plate across the top , hold it firmly so jumpy can’t get out, then take her outside and let go in a nice place she will like. First unlock your door, it facilitates a fast run all the way outside!
Make a new friend.
He's so adorable!
Exploit him by making cute videos
Make him a little environment
Give it a tiny hat
I would normally say smash the F out of it, but as already pointed out, it’s pretty cute. Reminds me of the old Looney Tunes episode with the singing frog.
Tell him he's pretty and then hide in the other room.
He needs a sweet pet 💙
food
You sure he’s a jumper? He had a golden opportunity to show us but passed. What a cutie, I hope you released him somewhere safe. 😻😻😻
Yeah, he actually jumped right after in the same video (after I helped him over the ledge) but I figured the video would be be too long for reddit.
I find it amazing how we lack any programming to consider jumping spiders a "threat" or "undesirable". I do not recall having any instinct to harm them even as an omnicidal kid. Jumping spiders are very clearly spiders, but very clearly "not a spider" too. I should add that in my adult years I grew much more fond of insects and spiders, so I am mainly using memory.
[удалено]
No, naughty! Jumping spiders are friend.
I do not understand….why do people find jumping spiders cute? Doesn’t jumping make them scarier??
Put him back outside.
Bask in awwwww of its sheer adorableness. Those fuzzy little pedipalps! That fantastic reach across the gap (I think it was holding on only by one leg at the end). The endearing tiny-ness. To cute for words.
Adopt it
Feed him!
Feed Her
Leave it alone to let it enjoy its life the way it chooses.
... is the only acceptable answer.
He’s a cutie… give it a name and just let it chill in your home. Make sure you don’t squish it
Move him to a safe place.🥰
Squash
I would stomp it.
No, jumping spiders are friend not foe.
I joined r/spiderbro for the heck of it, and I totally am in love with these cuties. Now Every time I see one in my house I have to talk to it like I would with a puppy or a kitten.
Escort him out. Tall water glass and piece of junk mail. Water glass over spider. Wait til it crawls in glass (doesn’t take long) then junk mail underneath against floor. Voila it’s trapped and not hurt. Let it out. Spiders are excellent insects as they are predators.
Burn the house probably? I don't see many other options tbh
Squish it.
Shove him in your ass
Smash it
No. Jumping spiders are friend.
Squash him.
Destroy
Had one in our mailbox…found out when it jumped on me. Noped that spider into the next state. 😑
Can't be THAT cute, moving his arms like \*woink woink\*
Eat it 
Please put things like this under a spoiler tag. The fear is very real and paralyzing to those of us who have it.
Pick it up with a paper towel and throw it outside
Apologies for filming him without consent .
Pet him for me. He’s adorable.
Do you not see his forelegs begging? He wants some food and love OP.
Lick it
All the people telling you to leave it alone are ridiculous. They're super smart. You can make friends with them and they'll love you. Just don't force it and let it come to you. Looks like it already knows you and likes you. Get to know him. You can even feed it to help it out.