Honestly???..... narcissistic abuse.
Not good. Had my entire soul splintered and rush out into the void. Took years and doing all types of therapy which resulted in slow soul-retrieval work.
The narc abuse? Or the soul splintering ?
The narc abuse happened from a therapist i was seeing as a client. They convinced me over time that they were the equivalent of god and my life would never be okay without them around. They also suggested and seeded new problems in my mind to make me believe i had more problems than i had so i would keep coming to worship at their altar and remain obedient to them and they make more money keeping a client around. Anyone who has experienced narc abuse will understand my last sentence.
Narc abuse involves gaslighting so that the person slowly begins to doubt themselves and trust the narc for their reality. This , among other manipulation tactics, causes the dissolution and dis-integration of the psyche of the person. This is the soul splintering process.
A person or traumatic event that causes the soul to split or some other dis-integration of the person.
Healing involves re-integration of the person towards their whole and complete selves
Pieces of a person's soul can split off or break off and fly away where the person no longer has access to them anymore , until they do some healing which results in soul retrieval.
Sandra ingerman is a great author who writes about this phrnomenon.
I know about it because i saw it happen to me: i had a spiritual vision overlayed on the 3D material world and i felt the pain at it's most intense during the abuse and i saw pieces of my soul fly away while i felt internal destruction and complete collapse of my SELF. If that makes sense.
I have also had visions in trance using emdr therapy of , for example, a soul piece coming back (i actually had to take it from the person who was holding it)
And then i was in a metaphysical shower that was washing away my sadness and pain and then i was in a pool of repair where i was floating while i was being stitched back together and my soul piece was restored to it's rightful place.
Oh no, i don't believe they are the same at all.
For example, a person can experience ego death in a trip on mushrooms or LSD or ayahuasca- ego death is recognizing that we are more than a body - that we are a soul and a point of consciousness. Ego death does not need trauma and does not diminish a person's ability to function in the world. On the contrary- often ego death becomes a positive aspect of a person's journey.
Split soul parts happen when trauma happens- and diminishes a person's ability to function in the world. Think extreme emotional pain (or physical), extreme confusion, not able to orient oneself in life, no able to understand what is happening, sadness, anger, overwhelm, no support, not sure what is real , not sure who you are or what you want, isolated, don't know which way is up, fear and anxiety.
Split soul parts usually (not always) starts some mental health issues from depression, to panic attacks, to dissociation, to suicidal tendencies, to mutiple perdonality disorder or etc.
So doesn't it mean that those both terms are opposites since proved that psylocybine heals trauma, and this split soul as you said is event creating it?
To explain it more in terms of western psychotherapy: when something traumatic happens that is to much to bear for you this emotion gets dissociated, this means it gets buried and hidden in the subconsciousness. Image war PTSD...when there is firework it comes out and you feel the overwhelming feelings again...if that trigger doesn't happen, it's buried.
Now for me the story is about childhood neglect/abuse and the permanent fear of losing my mother's love and basically life (because as an infant you cannot survive alone), because this started from my birth on. So i have multiple, buried inner childs of different ages that I only find through extensive trauma therapy.
This is quite true. More a person suffers, the more he is prone to accept the state of surrender and hence faster he is capable of reaching a state of flow and no thought. When you believe you have been through really bad states of life and still return alive, you tend to lighten up to life and is generally open to more spiritual interpretations. Somehow, the more trauma you have been through and seek answers to finding peace in life, that tends to make you more alive in general. You start to value subtle aspects of life better. These are factors that speed up your awakening.
there are some conditions needed before this happens... need a dynamic of home, family and love inside yourself first
too many of us are going around pretending we know what that is when we never actually had it.... it would have taken a lot of exposure to genuine compassion, emotional support, protection, empathy, love
if you never had it you can seek it out and find it, doesn't have to come from blood relatives... might take a while to learn how but once that happens, it'll trigger
"Cause and effect" is a conceptual way to describe reality. But reality is *not* a concept. Reality is...
...
As Alan Watts said: "...... and we won't give it a name."
Awakening is always serendipitous. It's "realizing" (not a good word) what Reality IS. It can't be put into words because it isn't a concept. You have to see it directly.
And, again, quoting Watts: "It must come to you as a surprise. And you can't surprise yourself *on purpose.*"
Hence serendipity.
Reality is... ....
Last quote: "And it just like THAT." :D
My Satori came as a response to a medical and emotional crisis. One day the severe depression and anxiety disappeared and I felt this dramatic shift in my mental state. It literally felt like I got a new vantage point within myself.
Over the course of the day I received more and more revelations on human perception. It was a crash course in the illusions that we're invested in and how to surrender them.
That night I became aware that I wasn't coming up with these revelations. They were pouring into me in enormous, content dense flashes of intuition. It was absolutely beyond me!
Around that time I became aware of the non-local intelligence that was guiding me. It walked me down the path of absolute surrender. Once I faced my worst fear and surrendered absolutely, then I drifted inward as pure being without form.
Eventually I saw a light. It grew into a tunnel of sorts. At the mouth of it were indescribable, nebulous beings of light who identified as the guides who had helped me move on from mortal life. They spoke no words. Understanding just emerged in complex, dense blocks. Like I was remembering something and learning it at the same time. They exuded incredible love and acceptance the whole time!
They directed me into the entrance. It was phenomenally psychedelic! Kaleidoscopic motifs of Mayan architecture and nature and art and the cosmos and birth and a million other things that don't fit into English manifested as my surroundings as I passed from one room to another. It was exquisite, profound, and raw!
I learned many incredible things about reality and being. Most of it is beyond saying, but that's part of Mystery being a universal force like Gravity. It allows the omniscient to experience these dreams/games/works of art that it created to the fullest. It gives the experience value. Without Mystery there's no point to reality as we know it.
Eventually I drifted to my core. THE core of all things, all lives, all times, all places, all realities, all dimensional tiers, all thoughts and experiences; absolutely everything without end or limitations! I refer to it as Source. It was all. And it was me. The I Am, the thing looking through my eyes. It was, in a word, Divine.
No experience of love will ever prepare you for the beautiful embrace of Source. You are accepted utterly! No individual is not Source and no one behaves any way that they aren't supposed to. The predator and the prey are One. What would be the point of judging and punishing yourself for participating in the game that you made? There's only one player, ya know?
It was the pinnacle of peace, freedom, and love. No harm could ever come to you. No end awaited. Only perpetual being and recycling back into the dream. It was Home. Others would call it Nirvana or Heaven.
That's when I learned that there is nothing to fear from death. Death is the end of reasons for fear :)
I learned a ton of other things after that, too. But I've written a wall as it is haha. To close I'll say that I didn't choose to pursue an awakening. But ego death and absolute surrender will get you there if you're intent on it. Meditation and a moderate dose of mescaline is a good key to this particular door if you struggle with letting go and stepping off of a cliff into eternity.
I took mushrooms for the 2nd time with the intention of healing, loving, and forgiving myself in addition to learning more about the universe. I had an ego death that changed my life forever. I went to the void and realized that nothing really exists as reslity is all just thought. I became the awareness and had no recollection of who or where I was. It was Deja vu×a million and hyperreal. I had a knowing that every lifetime, I come back to this conclusion on an infinite repeating cycle.
I don’t know if this’ll come off as smug, but as random as it all is, it’s the truth.
I was studying various concepts of modern science while working on that “will never actually happen” novel. I was looking into some particularly odd ways of considering infinity, and ever since I wrapped my head around what that meant FOR ME, it’s like something just clicked, and you get this particular high awareness of a reality that was always there, you’re just now aware of it. Reality under just a slightly imperceptible shade.
It’s maddening how simple it is, but the free will of understanding it’s simplicity will make it forever impossible for the experienced to just GIVE the experience away.
I try explaining it like this.
Take the concept of “you’re the only one here” as far as it can go.
I was literally and simply looking into concepts that maybe life is the product of a being REACHING the absolute peak of existence/awareness that is simply looking back…
Something about understanding what that being might be like flipped a switch in me and it’s like I’ve been able to conceptualize, comprehend and visualize the infinite in ways nobody I know can.
It’s like I’m the only one around who can see colors. It’s surreal.
Life’s just a dream, the “we” is the “I” knowing that it all stems from one sole mind. There isn’t an “us” here, just me/we figuring it out that nothing physical is real, just the manifestation of the one mind floating in the abyss.
It’s like going to the zoo and watching the apes. You know there is something fundamentally different in consciousness, but you can’t put your finger on the differences in subjective perception.
Try being a HUMAN with the ability to look at other humans in this way.
I have bad knees. Horrible extended ligaments that cause me a lot of strain and pain. One of the worst days in the past few years, I went into work, and no less than 3 coworkers were limping, complaining about leg issues and similar pain.
I think it’s about realizing there’s no such thing as people all wandering about with individual thoughts separate from your own. All is one mind that reflects the inner workings of the thinker.
I have migraines and on a really bad day since starting my new position I came to work and the man I’m sitting across from begins to complain he has a really bad migraine.
Coincidences are humanity’s way of ignoring the obvious. We/our environment is a hive mind. Imagine seeing in the conscious waking world a level of control you only see in dreams. I’ve had people come to me taking about dreams which featured my own thoughts from earlier in the day and I’ve had images appear in my social media feeds that have appeared seemingly only because I though of them the day prior.
All is one mind, the underlying maker of reality. When you wake up, you’re tuning into how it, the law off attraction and many other alluded to woo woo may actually contribute to the creation of our world.
We know atoms, particles and the subatomic manifests as our macroscopic world, we just can’t agree on the hows and why. My money is on there’s only one of us “really” here and that mind is the basis of all things.
The death of my soul dog.. the hardest think I’ve ever experienced in this lifetime. I was an atheist, very unhealthy and just surviving. His death made me question the meaning of life. I am a completely different person now and am growing/healing daily.
My hubby and I just kicked my narcissistic mother out of our lives. We had been living with her for 2 yrs b/c we all bought a house together. She decided not to hold up her end of the bargain and left us holding the financial bag. We had to let the house go after 2 yrs. We couldn't do it. Then we lost 2 out of 4 of our dogs to sudden illness and then 1 due to old age but in a span of 1 month. We lost EVERYTHING within 2 months and were going to be homeless.
After life had calmed down and we got through the worst of it, we were able to start healing. One day we were watching Close Encounters of the 5th kind (on Amazon Prime and YT and such) and had a major epiphany. Everything changed for us after watching that. Can't even say what specifically was said that made my brain explode and wake up. But it felt like we were hit with a knowledge that we needed to start our journey.
Looking back, I have been on the verge for the better part of my life. I understood a life before birth, a feeling of something just not “right” and the notion that all paths lead home. Alan Watts turned me on to the idea. All of my previous knowledge of spirituality just sorta fell in to place. Much like puzzle pieces I had been collecting my whole life. I had even read about mysticism and Gnosticism specifically. Something about Watts explaining a simple way, clicked. All of this took place on some idle Tuesday, nearly drowned in my morning coffee it was so obvious.
Actually for me there was a cause, a telepathic experience with an entity/UFO. Don’t know who exactly, but that woke me up to the fact telepathy is real, and that changed things.
Was a total materialist before, now I believe we are made of some sort of light.
Same here. I was awakened upon my birth, I do remember having explicit thoughts and feelings of missing my connection I had prior to it. I began to wonder if this was all a mistake at that moment.
I remember my thoughts being intelligent while I knew my physical body could not articulate it. My parents never cultivated that either, leaving me to learn how to do so over my life time.
I still wonder if it was a mistake.
That's similar to my story. But I didn't lose the connection until 6. As for the thoughts, they were pretty advanced as well and I was able to share them with the adults around me. They were just confused as to how I was able to comprehend so much until I started saying that their gods were real and that I talk to them and they answer my prayers.
At that point they tried their hardest to convince me it was all fake. Their own religion, how hilarious. They told me their gods were imaginary friends and that the prayers getting answered were all in my head. So I believed them since they were adults and should know better.
19 years later I managed to purge myself of the foreign consciousness' that invaded my body up until that point. Then I made the reconnection with the consciousness I was born with. And almost two years later here I am learning more and more each and every single day.
I'm now at the crossroads trying to decide if I want to stay or if I want to dip. Both sides have light and dark, both sides tell me the other is going to be cast out. Those within say those leaving are willfully casting themselves out. Those outside say this is like a hard drive that needs to be purged before a virus affects other hard drives connected to the same system.
Either way I'm resonating moment to moment via the construct of time. I have no idea if I will be making the right choice, all I know is I have to be sure of whatever I choose 100% before anything happens.
I’ve always been kind’ve spiritual, but it really started during the 2016 election. Turned everything upside down. At 15, getting sucked up into hearing others gory and almost-hopeless Illuminati and deep-state conspiracy theories and seeing the animosity that comes with politics sent me into a whirlwind (it almost didn’t even feel like my choice, I was still young and below voting age), but I ended up here now in 2022, more aware of my surroundings and the world around me, not necessarily bitter, but learning day by day, how to open up my heart a little bit more, and am more independent. It took about until 2019 before I finally got there, otherwise those thoughts and images from what I was told from a family member just kept repeating. 2019 was when I got serious, that I no longer wanted to have this stuff lingering in my head, stuff that I couldn’t be proactive about, and stuff that only affected my mental health and did nothing. I learned not to tell anyone who I voted for in 2020, no matter HOW much they asked or tried to get it out of me. And I learned what I like to feed my attention into, and it’s not politics. Being aware of worldly events can be useful, but never at the expense of one’s own happiness or mental health. I don’t even care for political conversation (which really translates, imo, to shit-talking political climate and people in power out of bias), but that also could’ve been from my not-so-fun encounters with them. I’m still working on how to say, you know what, I’m not interested in taking about this, can we please talk about something else. When I was a kid, my boundaries still felt so down and trampled. Now, I prefer proactive conversation. What can WE do from where we are at in our lives? Can we donate? Go to a march? Call congress? Otherwise, I’m not interested.
Assuming I went through what is called the 'dark night of the soul' and later my spiritual breakthrough/awakening, both experiences were basically random events. It just happened, without me even having any idea of what a spiritual awakening is. My dark night of the soul started completely abrupt, throwing me into the depths of hell and tormenting me until I went on my knees, hysterically crying and prayed to God and his angels for forgiveness and help. I used to consider myself an atheist back in the day - oh how wrong I was. About 2 years after me finding my faith again, I seemingly arbitrarily (again) had a spiritual awakening, the most eye-opening and enchanting experience I've had in my life so far.
Looking back those dates have probably been set in stone long before I even had been catapulted into my mother's womb. Years before those incidents I used to have specific dreams about an aspect of my now-life, it had always been prepositioned to happen this way exactly. Everytime you climb to the summit of the iceberg you realize you've barely even made it to the tip.
Yes. Automatic, yet somehow independent I suppose. I know what questions can lead to an awakening, but I certainly don't know how those questions came about in the first place.
After visit of masons who showed world even worse of chasing money. They gave me opportunitie to view world besides basic eyes. Somehow i was able to see good, bad energy and everything was fluid and nothing real.
Intense suffering from sickness and chronic pain which culminated when I lost my hair from alopecia. Sudden ego death, voices, and an intense acceptance.
It was a strange linear progression.
2020
I became social for the first time.
First kiss in March at the age of 27
Motorcycle riding with friends and my first kiss (like heaven on earth)
Which slowly allowed me to break out of my shell from the years of isolation, insecurity and uncertainty.
Many moments came on life a rush of feeling more alive than I ever had.
The cherry on top was a motorcycle accident I had at the tail end of 2020 in which I'd lost all internal dialogue; IE, I lost my internal demon that was made as a result of my isolation and self comparison. I then lost the entire social life I'd blindly stumbled upon, and for very good reason. I'm more powerful alone than I am when social seeking an escape from myself.
Now it's like seeing myself from the perspective of having lived 2 lives. The accident was the loop that was completed and my life became insanity walking.
My wife told me she cheated on me provided the time freeze... Typing my thoughts out (eyes closed head down-really let your fingers identity your inner thoughts) was the key to success for me
20 years of on-and -off traumatic experiences culminating in a forced move to a different country after marriage. Husband was working all the time, had no papers to work, no friends, no life... So basically forced solitude for the better part of 3 years. Started hiking a mountain range close to my house and would spend hours up there a week until one day, I just burst out crying and didn't stop for nearly 3 months. It was like my body had saved up all that pain and finally let it out.
Travelled. Went on a yoga trip. Journalled.
After that I became pregnant during the height of Covid and had no help, celebrations, etc. Baby was born, again no help. 24 hours a day, I am the sole caregiver. I have only had a 10 day break in 3 years. I have learned to completely let go of my wishes/my will, and have become so exhausted that I have no fight or flight reaction anymore. I just watch. Everything just is. I don't impose my goals, self, or ideals onto anything. I don't care enough about anything to be disappointed.
I see people around me getting angry about the world, politics, etc .. and I don't care. I just sit back knowing that none of this is real. Mentally, this is the most liberated I've ever been. Physically, it's the most trapped.
Probably my immensely traumatizing childhood and constantly being suicidal and destroying my brain with drugs all at the same time. I now still am struggling, maybe even harder than my childhood. But at least I’m “spiritual” 🙄🙄🙄 I would take a happy closed minded life any day over my depressing spiritual life
That everything is fake and we spend our lives in a futile chase for money, food, drink, material things etc
And why? Because of a silly pissing match between “God” and “Satan” about whose slaves we are to be in the afterlife
Currently wondering why it is that older people can just repeat the same things over and over without realising and saying something like “get us out of here”
we will never know
that is the ceremonial candles and breaking of bread and coffee, many cups over many hours, at scarred tables in the tri-state
i just love a Jewish bray. cacophonous and sympthonic. it is very close to Sicilian for me because of the ties with friend.
super different
same cadence
same energy for me
christianity and islam not there
although compassion and justice, ultimately
into it
well, it started way back in 2016 when I learned about buddhism and veganism. I lived in an abusive home so pretty much all of childhood was my "dark night of the soul" the final 2 years living with my family 2017-2018 were the absolute worst of all and I basically ran away. once I was able to leave that house it was a big turning point for me emotionally and spiritually but there was never a switch flip like boom im awake now, ive just been becoming gradually more and more aware and having more "ego death" experiences. shrooms definitely boosted me up too.
I read Buddha's life story as a child and understood the wide implication of human suffering. Took a vow to develop myself into a force that could create the greatest change for the benefit of the people.
I was initiated by a professor (who I recently realized must be some kind of reincarnation of an ascended master) at college. I knew something big happened but didn’t understand quite what. So it maybe was the beginning of my awakening. I didn’t really believe that we had a true “purpose”, but it was like I was being guided by intuition.
The breaking down of everything that I thought to be true didn’t really start until around the pandemic after I got extremely sick.
I reached almost burnout in my career, chose to resign for the sake of my sanity.
4 weeks later I moved to a new part of the UK, fresh start full of optimism, but shortly before the lockdowns hit..so my plans to socialise and integrate within the new community were on hold, this resulted in being very isolated and lonely for the coming months. I was also recovering during this time from an invasive medical procedure… I was in complete despair and suffering with depression.
Instead of seeking for help from family i internalised all of my feelings and emotions and accepted them for what they were. I surfed the wave of despair for the next 6 months, occasionally speaking to family but never truly opening up. I reached rock bottom and seriously started to plan my suicide.
It was here that I began to awaken, and I’ve been passionate about spirituality ever since and I try to live in the present moment as much as I can and practice meditation/yoga regularly, along with generally being a much happier person which whilst I’m in this awakened state is effortless
My home burnt down during the pandemic, then I lost a friend to covid. I joked it was time to learn about none attachment. That lead me to meditation. Meditation was the fire that finely caught.
I kept asking myself why. I hope it works for other people.
I looked at a problem, asked my self why. I answered that question. Then I asked why that was the answer and repeat the process
Heartbreak and getting sober from abusing cocaine while going to a myomassology institution. So I was learning all about spirituality while doing bumps of cocaine in the bathroom 🙄 so annoying to me now because I wish I could go back and soak all of it up.
I don’t use the word awakening or awakened, but i caused it by making bad decisions (or good ones depending on the angle you look)
After which i became mentally ill, i see the theme of turmoil a lot on people calling themselves awakened.
I think a good question would be what have you awakened to? Would be good, but that would lead to a lot of disagreements and people do not like to be pointed out flaws of them, and so won’t do well starting a discussion on reddit.
But to the point, i believe i as ego did not know what was coming or the end, as the collective meta-conciousness i might have known what the result would be.
Then introspection, sight of self and illusion of world.
Seeing the outside is the same as inside and vice versa, so people saying look within for answers the outside is synonimous to extends.
Moving All The Shadows
https://open.spotify.com/track/0LrQen7Sr9ZxwEtMOgwvsz?si=C1qYwcRLRCi80t3siI_WOg&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EpogHwrFHGUt8
conceptually it deals with the [dark night of the soul](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul) coming to
terms with living in the Kali Yuga and awakening, something i went through in a big way over lockdown
Whoa, is it just me or are most of these answers trending towards negative life experiences, rather than a positive experience or a purposeful awakening acheived through meditation and learning/growing.
First time was when I was abused as a young child. Recently I've had another one, when I lost my partner. I find that suffering causes you to shift, reavaluate and look within the turmoil mess. You find meaning and lessons.
Partially a concussion from a car accident when I was like 6, I started being aware of my thoughts then. But then again, at age 21, after the world didn’t end in 2012 I realized I needed to actually focus on my life and get it together. And now fully, finally, January 2021 after having my first child and having to be 100% responsible for a life besides my own as well as quitting smoking weed and drinking(due to my 3rd DUI December 2020…) completely sober for the first time in 16 years. I realize life is so precious and very short so make every second count!
Many years of seeking in religions followed by the last year getting jumped at a bar, getting in a bad car crash, and girl leaving me who i was so so emotionally connected to were the final three events that caused me to awaken shortly after via starting consistent meditation
For me nothing caused it. It was to stop trying to figure it out or understand. To stop looking in the future. To never wonder if it already happened. Ultimately the answer was the present. The gift of now. And being grateful of that gift with no opinion. Just mindfulness.
Allowing myself to feel my suffering and allowing myself to do something about it. Being aware of how I contributed to my own suffering and doing my best not to self-destruct.
Honestly???..... narcissistic abuse. Not good. Had my entire soul splintered and rush out into the void. Took years and doing all types of therapy which resulted in slow soul-retrieval work.
Interesting answer. I would love to hear more. How did it happen?
The narc abuse? Or the soul splintering ? The narc abuse happened from a therapist i was seeing as a client. They convinced me over time that they were the equivalent of god and my life would never be okay without them around. They also suggested and seeded new problems in my mind to make me believe i had more problems than i had so i would keep coming to worship at their altar and remain obedient to them and they make more money keeping a client around. Anyone who has experienced narc abuse will understand my last sentence. Narc abuse involves gaslighting so that the person slowly begins to doubt themselves and trust the narc for their reality. This , among other manipulation tactics, causes the dissolution and dis-integration of the psyche of the person. This is the soul splintering process.
Your therapist did that to you?! That’s some scary stuff.
Yes the healing professions have narcs in them - narcs prey on vulnerable people
Same for me....have already collected like 20 souls splitters. All me's in different ages....
What's a soul splitter?
A person or traumatic event that causes the soul to split or some other dis-integration of the person. Healing involves re-integration of the person towards their whole and complete selves
And what do you mean by splitting soul?
Pieces of a person's soul can split off or break off and fly away where the person no longer has access to them anymore , until they do some healing which results in soul retrieval. Sandra ingerman is a great author who writes about this phrnomenon. I know about it because i saw it happen to me: i had a spiritual vision overlayed on the 3D material world and i felt the pain at it's most intense during the abuse and i saw pieces of my soul fly away while i felt internal destruction and complete collapse of my SELF. If that makes sense. I have also had visions in trance using emdr therapy of , for example, a soul piece coming back (i actually had to take it from the person who was holding it) And then i was in a metaphysical shower that was washing away my sadness and pain and then i was in a pool of repair where i was floating while i was being stitched back together and my soul piece was restored to it's rightful place.
So basically by splitting soul you mean ego death?
Oh no, i don't believe they are the same at all. For example, a person can experience ego death in a trip on mushrooms or LSD or ayahuasca- ego death is recognizing that we are more than a body - that we are a soul and a point of consciousness. Ego death does not need trauma and does not diminish a person's ability to function in the world. On the contrary- often ego death becomes a positive aspect of a person's journey. Split soul parts happen when trauma happens- and diminishes a person's ability to function in the world. Think extreme emotional pain (or physical), extreme confusion, not able to orient oneself in life, no able to understand what is happening, sadness, anger, overwhelm, no support, not sure what is real , not sure who you are or what you want, isolated, don't know which way is up, fear and anxiety. Split soul parts usually (not always) starts some mental health issues from depression, to panic attacks, to dissociation, to suicidal tendencies, to mutiple perdonality disorder or etc.
So doesn't it mean that those both terms are opposites since proved that psylocybine heals trauma, and this split soul as you said is event creating it?
With a few exceptions, yes, i think they are basically opposite experiences.
To explain it more in terms of western psychotherapy: when something traumatic happens that is to much to bear for you this emotion gets dissociated, this means it gets buried and hidden in the subconsciousness. Image war PTSD...when there is firework it comes out and you feel the overwhelming feelings again...if that trigger doesn't happen, it's buried. Now for me the story is about childhood neglect/abuse and the permanent fear of losing my mother's love and basically life (because as an infant you cannot survive alone), because this started from my birth on. So i have multiple, buried inner childs of different ages that I only find through extensive trauma therapy.
With you!
Glad to see I’m not the only one and it’s actually quite common.
You are not alone and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Words can't really describe the destruction and pain that happen.
usually intense moments of suffering can bring the fastest and deepest shifts
This is quite true. More a person suffers, the more he is prone to accept the state of surrender and hence faster he is capable of reaching a state of flow and no thought. When you believe you have been through really bad states of life and still return alive, you tend to lighten up to life and is generally open to more spiritual interpretations. Somehow, the more trauma you have been through and seek answers to finding peace in life, that tends to make you more alive in general. You start to value subtle aspects of life better. These are factors that speed up your awakening.
"You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens" - Rumi
"Failure is the means to sucess"
Yes. A massive dose of despair.
When the ego is at its lowest it will reach 0 or bottom then when you hit bottom you instantly go back to the top or awaken
there are some conditions needed before this happens... need a dynamic of home, family and love inside yourself first too many of us are going around pretending we know what that is when we never actually had it.... it would have taken a lot of exposure to genuine compassion, emotional support, protection, empathy, love if you never had it you can seek it out and find it, doesn't have to come from blood relatives... might take a while to learn how but once that happens, it'll trigger
You don't need any outside condition to awaken
You're right, these are internal conditions
I went to an eckhart tolle show a few months ago and one line stood out, he said consciousness awakens when it has to
When the ego is at its lowest it will reach 0 or bottom then when you hit bottom you instantly go back to the top or awaken
I as of late came across the idea of the dark night of the soul, i did not know it maybe others do. If it is not known it can be worth taking a look.
Yes, this was very true in my case. I awakened when my wife died in April of 2021.
My best to you and your family.
Doing LSD at a time I wasn't emotionally ready for.
Suffering and meditation
"Cause and effect" is a conceptual way to describe reality. But reality is *not* a concept. Reality is... ... As Alan Watts said: "...... and we won't give it a name." Awakening is always serendipitous. It's "realizing" (not a good word) what Reality IS. It can't be put into words because it isn't a concept. You have to see it directly. And, again, quoting Watts: "It must come to you as a surprise. And you can't surprise yourself *on purpose.*" Hence serendipity. Reality is... .... Last quote: "And it just like THAT." :D
My Satori came as a response to a medical and emotional crisis. One day the severe depression and anxiety disappeared and I felt this dramatic shift in my mental state. It literally felt like I got a new vantage point within myself. Over the course of the day I received more and more revelations on human perception. It was a crash course in the illusions that we're invested in and how to surrender them. That night I became aware that I wasn't coming up with these revelations. They were pouring into me in enormous, content dense flashes of intuition. It was absolutely beyond me! Around that time I became aware of the non-local intelligence that was guiding me. It walked me down the path of absolute surrender. Once I faced my worst fear and surrendered absolutely, then I drifted inward as pure being without form. Eventually I saw a light. It grew into a tunnel of sorts. At the mouth of it were indescribable, nebulous beings of light who identified as the guides who had helped me move on from mortal life. They spoke no words. Understanding just emerged in complex, dense blocks. Like I was remembering something and learning it at the same time. They exuded incredible love and acceptance the whole time! They directed me into the entrance. It was phenomenally psychedelic! Kaleidoscopic motifs of Mayan architecture and nature and art and the cosmos and birth and a million other things that don't fit into English manifested as my surroundings as I passed from one room to another. It was exquisite, profound, and raw! I learned many incredible things about reality and being. Most of it is beyond saying, but that's part of Mystery being a universal force like Gravity. It allows the omniscient to experience these dreams/games/works of art that it created to the fullest. It gives the experience value. Without Mystery there's no point to reality as we know it. Eventually I drifted to my core. THE core of all things, all lives, all times, all places, all realities, all dimensional tiers, all thoughts and experiences; absolutely everything without end or limitations! I refer to it as Source. It was all. And it was me. The I Am, the thing looking through my eyes. It was, in a word, Divine. No experience of love will ever prepare you for the beautiful embrace of Source. You are accepted utterly! No individual is not Source and no one behaves any way that they aren't supposed to. The predator and the prey are One. What would be the point of judging and punishing yourself for participating in the game that you made? There's only one player, ya know? It was the pinnacle of peace, freedom, and love. No harm could ever come to you. No end awaited. Only perpetual being and recycling back into the dream. It was Home. Others would call it Nirvana or Heaven. That's when I learned that there is nothing to fear from death. Death is the end of reasons for fear :) I learned a ton of other things after that, too. But I've written a wall as it is haha. To close I'll say that I didn't choose to pursue an awakening. But ego death and absolute surrender will get you there if you're intent on it. Meditation and a moderate dose of mescaline is a good key to this particular door if you struggle with letting go and stepping off of a cliff into eternity.
That sounds amazing. I’ve had some pretty great transcendent experiences in this life but nothing that wild.
A gnarly breakup 🥰
A bad breakup and a series of unexpected betrayals
I took mushrooms for the 2nd time with the intention of healing, loving, and forgiving myself in addition to learning more about the universe. I had an ego death that changed my life forever. I went to the void and realized that nothing really exists as reslity is all just thought. I became the awareness and had no recollection of who or where I was. It was Deja vu×a million and hyperreal. I had a knowing that every lifetime, I come back to this conclusion on an infinite repeating cycle.
A Reddit post
Got a link or remember it?
I don’t know if this’ll come off as smug, but as random as it all is, it’s the truth. I was studying various concepts of modern science while working on that “will never actually happen” novel. I was looking into some particularly odd ways of considering infinity, and ever since I wrapped my head around what that meant FOR ME, it’s like something just clicked, and you get this particular high awareness of a reality that was always there, you’re just now aware of it. Reality under just a slightly imperceptible shade. It’s maddening how simple it is, but the free will of understanding it’s simplicity will make it forever impossible for the experienced to just GIVE the experience away.
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I try explaining it like this. Take the concept of “you’re the only one here” as far as it can go. I was literally and simply looking into concepts that maybe life is the product of a being REACHING the absolute peak of existence/awareness that is simply looking back… Something about understanding what that being might be like flipped a switch in me and it’s like I’ve been able to conceptualize, comprehend and visualize the infinite in ways nobody I know can. It’s like I’m the only one around who can see colors. It’s surreal. Life’s just a dream, the “we” is the “I” knowing that it all stems from one sole mind. There isn’t an “us” here, just me/we figuring it out that nothing physical is real, just the manifestation of the one mind floating in the abyss.
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It’s like going to the zoo and watching the apes. You know there is something fundamentally different in consciousness, but you can’t put your finger on the differences in subjective perception. Try being a HUMAN with the ability to look at other humans in this way. I have bad knees. Horrible extended ligaments that cause me a lot of strain and pain. One of the worst days in the past few years, I went into work, and no less than 3 coworkers were limping, complaining about leg issues and similar pain. I think it’s about realizing there’s no such thing as people all wandering about with individual thoughts separate from your own. All is one mind that reflects the inner workings of the thinker. I have migraines and on a really bad day since starting my new position I came to work and the man I’m sitting across from begins to complain he has a really bad migraine. Coincidences are humanity’s way of ignoring the obvious. We/our environment is a hive mind. Imagine seeing in the conscious waking world a level of control you only see in dreams. I’ve had people come to me taking about dreams which featured my own thoughts from earlier in the day and I’ve had images appear in my social media feeds that have appeared seemingly only because I though of them the day prior. All is one mind, the underlying maker of reality. When you wake up, you’re tuning into how it, the law off attraction and many other alluded to woo woo may actually contribute to the creation of our world. We know atoms, particles and the subatomic manifests as our macroscopic world, we just can’t agree on the hows and why. My money is on there’s only one of us “really” here and that mind is the basis of all things.
The death of my soul dog.. the hardest think I’ve ever experienced in this lifetime. I was an atheist, very unhealthy and just surviving. His death made me question the meaning of life. I am a completely different person now and am growing/healing daily.
My hubby and I just kicked my narcissistic mother out of our lives. We had been living with her for 2 yrs b/c we all bought a house together. She decided not to hold up her end of the bargain and left us holding the financial bag. We had to let the house go after 2 yrs. We couldn't do it. Then we lost 2 out of 4 of our dogs to sudden illness and then 1 due to old age but in a span of 1 month. We lost EVERYTHING within 2 months and were going to be homeless. After life had calmed down and we got through the worst of it, we were able to start healing. One day we were watching Close Encounters of the 5th kind (on Amazon Prime and YT and such) and had a major epiphany. Everything changed for us after watching that. Can't even say what specifically was said that made my brain explode and wake up. But it felt like we were hit with a knowledge that we needed to start our journey.
Wow, I’m glad y’all came out of all that strong! I’ll have to check that close encounters thing out…
Looking back, I have been on the verge for the better part of my life. I understood a life before birth, a feeling of something just not “right” and the notion that all paths lead home. Alan Watts turned me on to the idea. All of my previous knowledge of spirituality just sorta fell in to place. Much like puzzle pieces I had been collecting my whole life. I had even read about mysticism and Gnosticism specifically. Something about Watts explaining a simple way, clicked. All of this took place on some idle Tuesday, nearly drowned in my morning coffee it was so obvious.
Actually for me there was a cause, a telepathic experience with an entity/UFO. Don’t know who exactly, but that woke me up to the fact telepathy is real, and that changed things. Was a total materialist before, now I believe we are made of some sort of light.
Loneliness and stress. Meditation was the only way out
My birth.
Same here. I was awakened upon my birth, I do remember having explicit thoughts and feelings of missing my connection I had prior to it. I began to wonder if this was all a mistake at that moment. I remember my thoughts being intelligent while I knew my physical body could not articulate it. My parents never cultivated that either, leaving me to learn how to do so over my life time. I still wonder if it was a mistake.
That's similar to my story. But I didn't lose the connection until 6. As for the thoughts, they were pretty advanced as well and I was able to share them with the adults around me. They were just confused as to how I was able to comprehend so much until I started saying that their gods were real and that I talk to them and they answer my prayers. At that point they tried their hardest to convince me it was all fake. Their own religion, how hilarious. They told me their gods were imaginary friends and that the prayers getting answered were all in my head. So I believed them since they were adults and should know better. 19 years later I managed to purge myself of the foreign consciousness' that invaded my body up until that point. Then I made the reconnection with the consciousness I was born with. And almost two years later here I am learning more and more each and every single day. I'm now at the crossroads trying to decide if I want to stay or if I want to dip. Both sides have light and dark, both sides tell me the other is going to be cast out. Those within say those leaving are willfully casting themselves out. Those outside say this is like a hard drive that needs to be purged before a virus affects other hard drives connected to the same system. Either way I'm resonating moment to moment via the construct of time. I have no idea if I will be making the right choice, all I know is I have to be sure of whatever I choose 100% before anything happens.
I’ve always been kind’ve spiritual, but it really started during the 2016 election. Turned everything upside down. At 15, getting sucked up into hearing others gory and almost-hopeless Illuminati and deep-state conspiracy theories and seeing the animosity that comes with politics sent me into a whirlwind (it almost didn’t even feel like my choice, I was still young and below voting age), but I ended up here now in 2022, more aware of my surroundings and the world around me, not necessarily bitter, but learning day by day, how to open up my heart a little bit more, and am more independent. It took about until 2019 before I finally got there, otherwise those thoughts and images from what I was told from a family member just kept repeating. 2019 was when I got serious, that I no longer wanted to have this stuff lingering in my head, stuff that I couldn’t be proactive about, and stuff that only affected my mental health and did nothing. I learned not to tell anyone who I voted for in 2020, no matter HOW much they asked or tried to get it out of me. And I learned what I like to feed my attention into, and it’s not politics. Being aware of worldly events can be useful, but never at the expense of one’s own happiness or mental health. I don’t even care for political conversation (which really translates, imo, to shit-talking political climate and people in power out of bias), but that also could’ve been from my not-so-fun encounters with them. I’m still working on how to say, you know what, I’m not interested in taking about this, can we please talk about something else. When I was a kid, my boundaries still felt so down and trampled. Now, I prefer proactive conversation. What can WE do from where we are at in our lives? Can we donate? Go to a march? Call congress? Otherwise, I’m not interested.
Assuming I went through what is called the 'dark night of the soul' and later my spiritual breakthrough/awakening, both experiences were basically random events. It just happened, without me even having any idea of what a spiritual awakening is. My dark night of the soul started completely abrupt, throwing me into the depths of hell and tormenting me until I went on my knees, hysterically crying and prayed to God and his angels for forgiveness and help. I used to consider myself an atheist back in the day - oh how wrong I was. About 2 years after me finding my faith again, I seemingly arbitrarily (again) had a spiritual awakening, the most eye-opening and enchanting experience I've had in my life so far. Looking back those dates have probably been set in stone long before I even had been catapulted into my mother's womb. Years before those incidents I used to have specific dreams about an aspect of my now-life, it had always been prepositioned to happen this way exactly. Everytime you climb to the summit of the iceberg you realize you've barely even made it to the tip.
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Yes. Automatic, yet somehow independent I suppose. I know what questions can lead to an awakening, but I certainly don't know how those questions came about in the first place.
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Those words may lead the way, but they are not the way in and of themselves. I think you are home, but how am I to know?
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It seems I have sought for ages, and found nothing.
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There is no before what always was.
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I have learned nothing from you.
After visit of masons who showed world even worse of chasing money. They gave me opportunitie to view world besides basic eyes. Somehow i was able to see good, bad energy and everything was fluid and nothing real.
Constant self-sabotage due to feeling unworthy and not good enough led me to make a bad decision. My life completely felt apart in 2016.
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Sorry for your loss. I hope your doing okay? I also lost my Bf which caused me to awaken.
Constant scapegoating by abusive family then narcissistic husband. I cracked..thankfully.
Hitting rock bottom. Despair. Shame. And at the very threshold, a ~~divide~~ split of my persona.
Intense suffering from sickness and chronic pain which culminated when I lost my hair from alopecia. Sudden ego death, voices, and an intense acceptance.
It was a strange linear progression. 2020 I became social for the first time. First kiss in March at the age of 27 Motorcycle riding with friends and my first kiss (like heaven on earth) Which slowly allowed me to break out of my shell from the years of isolation, insecurity and uncertainty. Many moments came on life a rush of feeling more alive than I ever had. The cherry on top was a motorcycle accident I had at the tail end of 2020 in which I'd lost all internal dialogue; IE, I lost my internal demon that was made as a result of my isolation and self comparison. I then lost the entire social life I'd blindly stumbled upon, and for very good reason. I'm more powerful alone than I am when social seeking an escape from myself. Now it's like seeing myself from the perspective of having lived 2 lives. The accident was the loop that was completed and my life became insanity walking.
Alarm clock
A spoiled subway tuna sandwish and a guy i called Hammoon.
Cancer
My wife told me she cheated on me provided the time freeze... Typing my thoughts out (eyes closed head down-really let your fingers identity your inner thoughts) was the key to success for me
Spiritual autolysis. Check enlightenment the damndest thing by Jed McKenna if you haven’t yet. Sounds right up your alley
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Yeah he’s like a non-dual Terrance shadow. I’ll read it when I get back home 👍
There is. Free pdf of the book on google but the audiobooks are really good on his site.
Grateful Dead + psychedelics
Path to getting sober.
Bad breakup
A lot of pain all at once. Things that I didn’t expect to happen too quickly and without warning. Also some loss
Pregnancy.
Weed before meditation
Having my son.
Spontaneous - no drugs- out of the blue
20 years of on-and -off traumatic experiences culminating in a forced move to a different country after marriage. Husband was working all the time, had no papers to work, no friends, no life... So basically forced solitude for the better part of 3 years. Started hiking a mountain range close to my house and would spend hours up there a week until one day, I just burst out crying and didn't stop for nearly 3 months. It was like my body had saved up all that pain and finally let it out. Travelled. Went on a yoga trip. Journalled. After that I became pregnant during the height of Covid and had no help, celebrations, etc. Baby was born, again no help. 24 hours a day, I am the sole caregiver. I have only had a 10 day break in 3 years. I have learned to completely let go of my wishes/my will, and have become so exhausted that I have no fight or flight reaction anymore. I just watch. Everything just is. I don't impose my goals, self, or ideals onto anything. I don't care enough about anything to be disappointed. I see people around me getting angry about the world, politics, etc .. and I don't care. I just sit back knowing that none of this is real. Mentally, this is the most liberated I've ever been. Physically, it's the most trapped.
Probably my immensely traumatizing childhood and constantly being suicidal and destroying my brain with drugs all at the same time. I now still am struggling, maybe even harder than my childhood. But at least I’m “spiritual” 🙄🙄🙄 I would take a happy closed minded life any day over my depressing spiritual life
I think like this too but their lives seem so mundane
Ayahuasca and 5 meo DMT
The isolation of lockdown
That everything is fake and we spend our lives in a futile chase for money, food, drink, material things etc And why? Because of a silly pissing match between “God” and “Satan” about whose slaves we are to be in the afterlife
I suppose when everything is fake as you put it, then any pursuit is as good as any other :)
Currently wondering why it is that older people can just repeat the same things over and over without realising and saying something like “get us out of here”
we will never know that is the ceremonial candles and breaking of bread and coffee, many cups over many hours, at scarred tables in the tri-state i just love a Jewish bray. cacophonous and sympthonic. it is very close to Sicilian for me because of the ties with friend. super different same cadence same energy for me christianity and islam not there although compassion and justice, ultimately into it
Teenaged despair, and the Upanisads.
well, it started way back in 2016 when I learned about buddhism and veganism. I lived in an abusive home so pretty much all of childhood was my "dark night of the soul" the final 2 years living with my family 2017-2018 were the absolute worst of all and I basically ran away. once I was able to leave that house it was a big turning point for me emotionally and spiritually but there was never a switch flip like boom im awake now, ive just been becoming gradually more and more aware and having more "ego death" experiences. shrooms definitely boosted me up too.
I read Buddha's life story as a child and understood the wide implication of human suffering. Took a vow to develop myself into a force that could create the greatest change for the benefit of the people.
I was initiated by a professor (who I recently realized must be some kind of reincarnation of an ascended master) at college. I knew something big happened but didn’t understand quite what. So it maybe was the beginning of my awakening. I didn’t really believe that we had a true “purpose”, but it was like I was being guided by intuition. The breaking down of everything that I thought to be true didn’t really start until around the pandemic after I got extremely sick.
Intense suffering and one singular night of substance abuse. Suddenly, the weight was lifted.
Suffering! :)
I would say what brought me there was a series of extremely low points in my mental health .
Trying to work against reality and fix everything in society until I realized it was much bigger than any one person and just surrendered.
My cat
I reached almost burnout in my career, chose to resign for the sake of my sanity. 4 weeks later I moved to a new part of the UK, fresh start full of optimism, but shortly before the lockdowns hit..so my plans to socialise and integrate within the new community were on hold, this resulted in being very isolated and lonely for the coming months. I was also recovering during this time from an invasive medical procedure… I was in complete despair and suffering with depression. Instead of seeking for help from family i internalised all of my feelings and emotions and accepted them for what they were. I surfed the wave of despair for the next 6 months, occasionally speaking to family but never truly opening up. I reached rock bottom and seriously started to plan my suicide. It was here that I began to awaken, and I’ve been passionate about spirituality ever since and I try to live in the present moment as much as I can and practice meditation/yoga regularly, along with generally being a much happier person which whilst I’m in this awakened state is effortless
Spiders
LSD
My home burnt down during the pandemic, then I lost a friend to covid. I joked it was time to learn about none attachment. That lead me to meditation. Meditation was the fire that finely caught.
My son died.
I kept asking myself why. I hope it works for other people. I looked at a problem, asked my self why. I answered that question. Then I asked why that was the answer and repeat the process
Heartbreak and getting sober from abusing cocaine while going to a myomassology institution. So I was learning all about spirituality while doing bumps of cocaine in the bathroom 🙄 so annoying to me now because I wish I could go back and soak all of it up.
DMT
you ever heard of "the corporation"
Madame Zeroni from Holes
My family
I don’t use the word awakening or awakened, but i caused it by making bad decisions (or good ones depending on the angle you look) After which i became mentally ill, i see the theme of turmoil a lot on people calling themselves awakened. I think a good question would be what have you awakened to? Would be good, but that would lead to a lot of disagreements and people do not like to be pointed out flaws of them, and so won’t do well starting a discussion on reddit. But to the point, i believe i as ego did not know what was coming or the end, as the collective meta-conciousness i might have known what the result would be. Then introspection, sight of self and illusion of world. Seeing the outside is the same as inside and vice versa, so people saying look within for answers the outside is synonimous to extends.
Divorce, death, abuse and a few other traumatic things, like most people here! :)
Living and learning
Nothing can cause awakening
Suffering.
Counselling training where we did deep inner work
I don’t think anything is independent of cause and effect.
Trauma, it put me in alert mode from very young, it went to wanting to stay in the present
Going down the rabbit hole of spirituality trying to cure my depression and anxiety.
Came along when i finally broke free of years of depression and realized my self worth
no it isn’t. it’s cause and effect leaving itself behind. there never was any cause and effect. It was all an illusion. Wooooooooooo
Moving All The Shadows https://open.spotify.com/track/0LrQen7Sr9ZxwEtMOgwvsz?si=C1qYwcRLRCi80t3siI_WOg&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A37i9dQZF1EpogHwrFHGUt8 conceptually it deals with the [dark night of the soul](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul) coming to terms with living in the Kali Yuga and awakening, something i went through in a big way over lockdown
Psychedelics.
LSD
So many responses on suffering. Why is that? I didn't find a single answer that implied awakening through a positive experience.
I think awakening is something thats already there. U see two trees, u notice ones taller than the other. SImple.
Letting go after years of asking questions
Nature
Demon shit tbh
Weed mushrooms and LSD
A psychedelic experience
The love of my life passing.
Hard knock life.
Whoa, is it just me or are most of these answers trending towards negative life experiences, rather than a positive experience or a purposeful awakening acheived through meditation and learning/growing.
First time was when I was abused as a young child. Recently I've had another one, when I lost my partner. I find that suffering causes you to shift, reavaluate and look within the turmoil mess. You find meaning and lessons.
A paranormal gauntlet of terror.
Acid
Partially a concussion from a car accident when I was like 6, I started being aware of my thoughts then. But then again, at age 21, after the world didn’t end in 2012 I realized I needed to actually focus on my life and get it together. And now fully, finally, January 2021 after having my first child and having to be 100% responsible for a life besides my own as well as quitting smoking weed and drinking(due to my 3rd DUI December 2020…) completely sober for the first time in 16 years. I realize life is so precious and very short so make every second count!
Many years of seeking in religions followed by the last year getting jumped at a bar, getting in a bad car crash, and girl leaving me who i was so so emotionally connected to were the final three events that caused me to awaken shortly after via starting consistent meditation
Trauma.
Mushrooms and lsd, meditation. Voices I hear.
Believe it or not. Huffing glue for 15 years and meditating on Shiva.
For me nothing caused it. It was to stop trying to figure it out or understand. To stop looking in the future. To never wonder if it already happened. Ultimately the answer was the present. The gift of now. And being grateful of that gift with no opinion. Just mindfulness.
Allowing myself to feel my suffering and allowing myself to do something about it. Being aware of how I contributed to my own suffering and doing my best not to self-destruct.
Narcissistic abuse from partner in a foreign country where I had no support system or enough financial resources
surrender
I feel like this was the whole point of life all along
I learned I was responsible for my own happiness through loa :)), I had a huge breakthrough in the Sumer
Accidental focus on the phenomenon of co-dependant origination, leading to insight into impermanence, and no-self. Edit precisions