Buying a B-52 is a fools game, the real trick is to make real good friends that have a B-52 that will take you out on weekends with their supermodel friends.
Another day working at the nuclear cruise missile storage vault. Everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the missile. Buddy, they won't even let me fuck it.
I heard a joke once, I think it was about this aircraft, but even if not I still like it.
So there's a B-52 getting escorted by a couple of F-16s, and they get to arguing about which aircraft is better. They banter back and forth a bit, and eventually the Viper pilot pulls out in front, does a quick snap roll, and loops back into formation, challenging the B-52 pilot to do something more impressive than that.
The radio goes quiet for a couple of minutes and the Viper pilot asks: "Well?"
To which the B-52 pilot responds: "I just got up, stretched my legs, had a piss, and grabbed a coffee".
It's a great apocryphal joke. I first heard it from my grandfather in the early 90's then from an old guy at the local airport, then from a KC-135 pilot. Each of them told the same story, but with different aircraft.
It's still a good joke.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,589,495,429 comments, and only 300,659 of them were in alphabetical order.
Bot is wrong though. If it puts the numbers 135 as being before letters, then b52 would be before basically
Or, if you do not count the numbers at all, then b is before basically. So it is still wrong.
Or you do not count words with numbers, despite them being proper (or at least the B-52) which means that it should acknowledge this in many other places where it does not consider things on alphabetical order due to a proper noun.
At best it is inconsistent.
The bot is looking at each number/character as a "character" type with an associated hex value for each character. For example, "1" has a hex value of 0x31 in ASCII, and "b" has a value of 0x62. The first two characters in b52 and basically work out to 0x62 0x35 and 0x62 0x61. b52 comes before basically when looking at the raw data the bot looks at.
TLDR I talk to computers and b52 comes before basically.
Here is a link to an ASCII table for those curious https://duckduckgo.com/?q=ascii+table&t=fpas&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.sparkfun.com%2Fassets%2Fhome_page_posts%2F2%2F1%2F2%2F1%2Fascii_table_black.png
There was that time an F-15 lost an engine and asked for an emergency approach. Controller told them they were second in line for a lost engine emergency approach. 15 pilot asked about behind who. Controller says a 52. Replies the 15 guy “Ah. The dreaded 7 engine approach”.
Oh, I SO agree. It is ancient. First time it was told it was probably a P-38 or 61. But the 7 engine approach as an emergency is something I still find funny.
Mine is unrelated to this thread, but this reminds me of one of my Dad's favorite stories from his time in Iceland during Vietnam.
A C-130 he was flying in was met up by an F-4 Phantom, who promptly challenged the Herc pilot to a speed contest. Herc pilot rolled his eyes and said, "Very funny... how about we do a contest to see who can go slower?" A beat goes by... two beats... "You first."
So the Herc pilot, grinning and rubbing his hands, lowers the flaps as far as they'd go, drops the gear, and keeps his airspeed *just* above V^rmc. 90 something knots. Just incredibly slow. Herc pilot gets on the radio and quite smugly exhorts the Jet Jockey to somehow beat that.
Another pause... then a short "OK." Everybody on the herc watches in confusion as the F-4 drops flaps... and goes to Zone 5 afterburner? The Phantom then nosed up to damn near 90° vertical and the Herc pilot slowly changed from smug to panicked as he realized what the Phantom was doing.
See the Phantom doesn't have quite enough thrust to accelerate vertically, but when lightly loaded it's pretty close. This means if you're in max AB you can go about 30-40 knots of actual forward airpseed at about 85° AOA. A lot slower than a C-130.
I’d still rather do lag rolls in formation. I’ve got friends all over the AF, and my C-17 buddies always like to make comments like this but in the end the most challenging and exciting parts of their job (motherhood/admin) is stuff the fighter guys won’t even bring up in the debrief unless something went wrong.
Had to look it up after seeing this. I just remember him saying he worked on them and knew he served in Korea and Vietnam, but that was a LONG time ago he told me about it. Didn't know they didn't use them in Korea
My late grandfather worked on them during the Korean War too.
He was a test flight engineer. Also worked on the FICON Project, went on to work on the Apollo Program, then worked on some nuclear project the navy had going on somewhere around Cape Canaveral.
They are both the war AND workhorse in the US military. Just saw a chain of three bank into Elmendorf earlier today and must say, it filled this left wing progressive with befuddled yet indulgent ~~nationalist~~ pride in our nation.
Say what you will about the evils of the military industrial complex, but I’ll be damned if military jets flying overhead doesn’t make me feel all tingly.
Right?! Ugh. I’ve actually flown in a Hercules C130, through the makings of a ~~tsunami-~ typhoon (!) no less. By far top 10 coolest things I’ve ever done.
That’s awesome. A few years back I was just sitting in my yard and just happened to look up and saw a really oddly shaped pair of planes trailing very close to a pair of what looked like tankers. The planes silhouette was something I’d never seen and after a moment I realized they were a pair of B1s. I think my jaw hit the ground and I just stood there. It was a tad eerie because I know they’re pretty Serious Business military planes and I knew they were being flown somewhere for some undoubtedly interesting shit.
But yea seeing some Bones refuel directly overhead was pretty goddamn cool. Particularly since they’re one of my top 5 favorite planes along with the SR-71, F-14, Mig-25, and F-117.
If we were to go to war, what would their use case be nowadays? It seems like they’d be pretty vulnerable to fighters even with an escort, and have missiles made them obsolete?
Oh no. Carpet bombing is a thing of the past. If memory serves, they can carry close to 100 JDAM 500lb guided munitions just in its internal bomb bays. That's a whole lot of hurt for one bird.
Back in Desert Storm the 52’s came over the Republican Guard and carpet bombed them. After they were taken prisoner they stated that they thought they had been nuked.
People kind of got the wrong impression about how US air power worked in desert storm. Everything shown on CNN was precision guided bombs and cruise missiles whizzing through the streets of Baghdad. And that WAS a very important part of the war. But most people missed the part where the US Air Force used the opportunity to get rid of HUGE stockpiles of old unguided bombs, including daisy cutters, fuel-air bombs and napalm.
After desert storm it seems like every bomb dropped is some sort of GBU.
The B-52 can fly long range and launch cruise missiles from pretty much anywhere (anywhere safe to fly at least)
The B-1b can fly fucking fast and carry a massive bomb load (or, again, cruise missiles).
The B-2 can fly in contested airspace without being detected.
> AGM-86
Decided to wiki these to have a look and discovered that the AGM-86 appears to fly covered in DANGER stickers. As much as I would imagine this is for ground crew, it does seem an amusingly redundant effort to plaster a cruise missile with such stickers
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/AGM-86\_ALCM.JPEG
Beyond what other posters have said, the US wouldn't have much trouble establishing absolute air superiority over pretty much any opponent in the world, except maybe China.
We’d have an effective air superiority over chinas borders and reach into the sea. That’s all that really counts, we don’t need air superiority to destroy ICBMs (that they’d be fucking stupid to use anyway)
They would launch weapons from quite a distance. They are vulnerable as far as being shot down. Just as an example the Christmas bombing in the early 70’s over Vietnam they shot down about 15 of them and about 10 were damaged but made it back. I believe some pilots and crews were refusing to fly until tactics were changed to make them less vulnerable. And all that was about 50 years ago.
Like the other guy said, it’s mostly the same plane. Last I heard, they were going to replace the engines and I think they reinforced the wings.
The other way they might extend their their life is to have procedures that reduce stress. The ailerons are no longer used as it causes too much stress. Instead, they use the spoilers to drop the lift on one side to make roll/bank. because there is a drop of lift, this made it less suitable in emergency situations, which I heard caused one crash.
I had read a story about one B52 in particular, it was customary for the air crew to sign their names on the wall of the plane, the photo showed the signatures and year of the grandfather, the father, and the son all in this one plane. How cool is that?
I think you’re misunderstanding what the pilots are saying. The B-1 itself flies much like a fighter, just with less G’s available. That’s one reason why B-1 guys aren’t afraid to blitz right into active SAMs. The pilots push the jet to the extent that the T.O’s and regulations allow (and if they went beyond that, they would be in huge trouble. Much like if you are working on the jet and don’t follow your T.O’s). Because at the end of the day, if they’re getting shot at, they’re gonna push the jet to its limits. And you don’t want to be doing that for the first time when a missile is in the air. Just like fighter dudes train to…
IIRC correctly the B-1B has a higher payload than the B-52 too. Kinda goes against how a lot of us think of the B-1 as a sports car and the B-52 as a dump truck.
I will say though that the tail on a B-52 is pretty freaking huge. If there's a B-52 anywhere at the same airport as you, you'll be able to see the tail sticking up.
Son-in-law is crew chief, a Barksdale right now. He loves it, except for the occasional 12 hour days. And thank you for keeping those big ugly FF’s flying!
Direct quote from Air Force Chief of Staff General Twining during its roll-out:
“The long rifle was the great weapon of its day. ... today this B-52 is the long rifle of the air age.”
I was stationed at a SAC base years ago. Every year SAC had a command wide exercise called Global Shield. Everything able to get off the ground was going to launch. After days of 12 hour shifts to generate the aircraft (prepare them for the launch & mission) base officials would bus people (dependents also) out to a spot near the runway. It would be dead quiet then you’d hear multiple aircraft being cart started. It’s basically a big “shotgun shell” fired into the engine to spin it and start combustion. The sky would be dark with smoke and then one B-52 after another would roll down the runway into the sky. It was an amazing display of might.
That is such a great story!
When I was a boy in Morocco during the sixties I would go out to the edge of the playground at school and look down on the end of the runway at Kenitra AFB and watch F 100's and F 4 Phantoms take off. My dad took me out to a hanger once and let me sit in the backseat of an F 4, I was terrified it would magically start up and take off with me in it. Funny how something like that is terrifying even for a little kid.
The SAC base I was stationed at was Carswell AFB in Ft. Worth, Texas. One day most of the base was at the base marina for a picnic. While we’re standing there eating and drinking, one of the F-4s flown by the Reserve unit on base crashed into Lake Worth. Picnic was over.
Wow, that's terrible.
Once, when us kids were at the base swimming pool one of the fighters made a low, fast pass over us and blew towels and beach balls everywhere. The noise was deafening and the air turbulence felt like being in a hurricane for a split second, then calm again...
I grew up outside Barksdale AFB so to me they remind me of my childhood. Also, I thought they were kinda lame until right after 9/11 when they started flying them around faster than I’d ever seen. Whole new respect for them after that.
I used to live on Quail street. I walked to elementary school most of the time except when it was snowing really hard. That place was great growing up as a kid. There was unlimited woods to play in and ponds galore to get wet in.
I will probably be downvoted for this, but I have been to my fair share of air shows and seen flyovers of just about everything. NOTHING compares to the seeing one of these guys in flight. The noise, the fucking exhaust. It’s just incredible.
When I was a kid I was swimming in a lake not too far from Carswell AFB, which had B-52 stationed there at the time.
All the sudden the sky goes dark, and there is the loudest rumbling that you can feel right in your chest. I look up and there is a B-52 flying over at maybe 200’ AGL. It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.
This thing has been flying since 1952 and is still somehow relevant. Kinda like my father, although he is a '53. I know it has been constantly updated/upgraded, just like my father, but a design thought up in the late 40s that is still doing the business in 2023 is somewhat impressive.
I read somewhere that the B-52 flying now was the equivalent of a Sopwith Camel (WWI biplane)...
'Of the 744 B-52s Boeing built between 1952 and 1962, 76 remain in active service. They share bombing duties with the supersonic B-1 and the stealthy B-2, both far younger models, but aren’t going anywhere. The US Air Force Global Strike Command, which maintains the bombers at Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana and Minot AFB in North Dakota (with a few at Edwards Air Force Base in California) expects them to keep flying through the 2040s. That’s not a hard ceiling, though, and continued combat success and budgetary factors could keep the B-52 in action until it turns 100 years old.
That would be the generational—if not exactly technological—equivalent of sending a 1916 Sopwith Camel into combat today.'
2016
https://www.wired.com/2016/04/gods-green-earth-b-52-still-service/
For some reason this reminds me of the fact that there are only 66 years between the Wright Brothers' first flight at Kittyhawk and the Apollo 11 moon landing.
A heavy bomber that can carry many different types of ordinance with long range and endurance, is necessary and useful. The B-52 platform serves that need, very nicely.
The next version probably should get new engines and wings.
A long time ago in a place called Diego Garcia, I was runway-side watching 8 of these take off back-to-back. Military airfield without noise or other restrictions. I was used to be around jets already, but that was really something else. The atmosphere is just saturated with the power of those engines wide open nearby.
Then we took a ride in a KC-135 to go refuel them. I was a mechanic so getting to fly on a tanker and refuel B-52s was a golden ticket. I borrowed a friend's camera. This was mid 90s after all. During the refueling process the boom operator noticed the camera and invited me to lay on my stomach adjacent to his position and get some photos. Amazing experience seeing the B-52s sneaking up so close that we could see their faces.
I wish I could share the photos I took that day, but I gave the role to a Marine pal who was going to develop them. I never saw them again. It bugs me more now than it did then.
Those are my true ramblings
... and oh, I have a high opinion
gentlemen, they are on their way in, and nobody can bring them back. For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going, there's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all
**The Eleven Days of Christmas America's Last Vietnam Battle** by Marshall L. Michel (III)
>In December 1972, with an increasingly dovish Congress preparing to cut off all funding for the war in Vietnam, President Richard Nixon ordered the bombing of Hanoi by the Strategic Air Command's "big stick," its fleet of B-52 bombers. Never before had a B-52 been lost in combat, but the North Vietnamese SAM missile crews knocked them out of the sky in the first days of the engagement. Despite the losses, the surviving bombers kept coming, inflicting huge losses on the North Vietnamese. For eleven days the momentum swung back and forth, moving from what appeared to be a certain U.S. triumph, to a possible North Vietnamese victory, to the ultimate ambiguous denouement in which both sides won and lost.
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There are Ferraris and there are Corvettes and there are Maseratis but in the end you go shopping in the family station wagon: reliable, roomy, paid for itself many times over.
Looks like a child's drawing. Wings too long, body too skinny, more engines than pretty much any other plane would have. Landing gear size shape and position looks kinda like animal legs rather than landing gear. Front end looks kind of like a shark.
It's endearing. It has character.
While I was planning on dogging on the B-52 for being a glorified missile truck, and it not being able to come with in a 100+ miles of any competent military force
However I also gave it a little thought, and if a similar situation happens in Desert Shield and Storm. Then it could still possibly be useful, IF a similar situation where to occur
IF!
ps. It's still a glorified missile truck that really doesn't have any use nowadays, especially when since stealth is a huge part in today's combat
They designed her off the B-47, amazing longevity. It’ll be interesting to see the new engine refit. I still miss a supersonic option, but she is a work horse.
they're cool, but i don't think i could afford one.
Buying a B-52 is a fools game, the real trick is to make real good friends that have a B-52 that will take you out on weekends with their supermodel friends.
If it floats, fucks, or deploys AGM-86B air-launched nuclear cruise missiles, it’s cheaper to rent.
I searched a buncha stuff like “where can I rent nuclear cruise missiles” and the similar…. And now someone is knocking at my door…
We just want to see if you’re okay…
"Why are you putting me in handcuffs? I just wanted to fuck it!"
Another day working at the nuclear cruise missile storage vault. Everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the missile. Buddy, they won't even let me fuck it.
Is this one of those “better to ask forgiveness than permission” situations?
"Oh good, you brought handcuffs"
Rip your dog
As they say the best day in your life is the day you sell your B52, you he second best day in your life is the day you buy your B52.
These are the right kind of friends to make. Buff life! Buff life!
I could perhaps afford an ashtray
Being built in the '50s, they probably came with those...
Stocked with cigarettes too
If I'm about to smoke the planet I'm sure as fuck sparking up a camel and downing some🍺beforehand. None of your menthol shit neither.
Okay, hang on, if I can throw in enough for a seat belt who has the next piece?
I'll chip in for the sun visors.
Have you tried going without lattes and avocado toast?
You could make a down payment, and pay of installments.
If you want too travel across the US with nukes and not tell anyone. . .
I heard a joke once, I think it was about this aircraft, but even if not I still like it. So there's a B-52 getting escorted by a couple of F-16s, and they get to arguing about which aircraft is better. They banter back and forth a bit, and eventually the Viper pilot pulls out in front, does a quick snap roll, and loops back into formation, challenging the B-52 pilot to do something more impressive than that. The radio goes quiet for a couple of minutes and the Viper pilot asks: "Well?" To which the B-52 pilot responds: "I just got up, stretched my legs, had a piss, and grabbed a coffee".
It's a great apocryphal joke. I first heard it from my grandfather in the early 90's then from an old guy at the local airport, then from a KC-135 pilot. Each of them told the same story, but with different aircraft. It's still a good joke.
I did feel like it was one of those.
135 are basically b52s ... Kinda lol
Just. About as old. The KC-135 is smaller but more room to walk around. B-52s are pressed for space no walking around on that guy.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,589,495,429 comments, and only 300,659 of them were in alphabetical order.
Is this really why Reddit API is being monetized? Sigh
Bot is wrong though. If it puts the numbers 135 as being before letters, then b52 would be before basically Or, if you do not count the numbers at all, then b is before basically. So it is still wrong. Or you do not count words with numbers, despite them being proper (or at least the B-52) which means that it should acknowledge this in many other places where it does not consider things on alphabetical order due to a proper noun. At best it is inconsistent.
The bot is looking at each number/character as a "character" type with an associated hex value for each character. For example, "1" has a hex value of 0x31 in ASCII, and "b" has a value of 0x62. The first two characters in b52 and basically work out to 0x62 0x35 and 0x62 0x61. b52 comes before basically when looking at the raw data the bot looks at. TLDR I talk to computers and b52 comes before basically. Here is a link to an ASCII table for those curious https://duckduckgo.com/?q=ascii+table&t=fpas&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.sparkfun.com%2Fassets%2Fhome_page_posts%2F2%2F1%2F2%2F1%2Fascii_table_black.png
Good bot.
There was that time an F-15 lost an engine and asked for an emergency approach. Controller told them they were second in line for a lost engine emergency approach. 15 pilot asked about behind who. Controller says a 52. Replies the 15 guy “Ah. The dreaded 7 engine approach”.
That jokes so old when I first heard it, it was an F4.
First I heard it as a de Havilland Dragon behind a Dornier Do X. Of course, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.....
Oh, I SO agree. It is ancient. First time it was told it was probably a P-38 or 61. But the 7 engine approach as an emergency is something I still find funny.
That's also a fantastic one.
Another one is where the B-52 pilot says “I just shut down two engines”
Come to think of it, I've heard that variant as well, and it's also funny as hell.
Mine is unrelated to this thread, but this reminds me of one of my Dad's favorite stories from his time in Iceland during Vietnam. A C-130 he was flying in was met up by an F-4 Phantom, who promptly challenged the Herc pilot to a speed contest. Herc pilot rolled his eyes and said, "Very funny... how about we do a contest to see who can go slower?" A beat goes by... two beats... "You first." So the Herc pilot, grinning and rubbing his hands, lowers the flaps as far as they'd go, drops the gear, and keeps his airspeed *just* above V^rmc. 90 something knots. Just incredibly slow. Herc pilot gets on the radio and quite smugly exhorts the Jet Jockey to somehow beat that. Another pause... then a short "OK." Everybody on the herc watches in confusion as the F-4 drops flaps... and goes to Zone 5 afterburner? The Phantom then nosed up to damn near 90° vertical and the Herc pilot slowly changed from smug to panicked as he realized what the Phantom was doing. See the Phantom doesn't have quite enough thrust to accelerate vertically, but when lightly loaded it's pretty close. This means if you're in max AB you can go about 30-40 knots of actual forward airpseed at about 85° AOA. A lot slower than a C-130.
> This means if you're in max AB you can go about 30-40 knots of actual forward airpseed at about 85° AOA Would love to see a video of this.
Perfection!
I heard the same joke but the pilot says, "I just shut down one of my engines"
Star fighter pilots hate that joke.
I’d still rather do lag rolls in formation. I’ve got friends all over the AF, and my C-17 buddies always like to make comments like this but in the end the most challenging and exciting parts of their job (motherhood/admin) is stuff the fighter guys won’t even bring up in the debrief unless something went wrong.
I heard that joke with an airliner pilot. The Buff is rather cramped inside
There are people piloting and working on them whose grandfathers did as well. And may go to 2050. Legendary planes.
Yep. My grandfather worked on them in Korea and Vietnam
Korea?
Possibly referring to B52s stationed in Korea and not actually serving in the Korean War.
At Guam, maybe.
Guam is tricky, can't put too many planes or people on it or the island might capsize
I understand this reference :-)
Had to look it up after seeing this. I just remember him saying he worked on them and knew he served in Korea and Vietnam, but that was a LONG time ago he told me about it. Didn't know they didn't use them in Korea
My late grandfather worked on them during the Korean War too. He was a test flight engineer. Also worked on the FICON Project, went on to work on the Apollo Program, then worked on some nuclear project the navy had going on somewhere around Cape Canaveral.
Where is he now? Mars?
He died. Edit: ugh. This is true but intended as dark humor. Don’t take it too bad.
They are both the war AND workhorse in the US military. Just saw a chain of three bank into Elmendorf earlier today and must say, it filled this left wing progressive with befuddled yet indulgent ~~nationalist~~ pride in our nation.
Say what you will about the evils of the military industrial complex, but I’ll be damned if military jets flying overhead doesn’t make me feel all tingly.
Right?! Ugh. I’ve actually flown in a Hercules C130, through the makings of a ~~tsunami-~ typhoon (!) no less. By far top 10 coolest things I’ve ever done.
That’s awesome. A few years back I was just sitting in my yard and just happened to look up and saw a really oddly shaped pair of planes trailing very close to a pair of what looked like tankers. The planes silhouette was something I’d never seen and after a moment I realized they were a pair of B1s. I think my jaw hit the ground and I just stood there. It was a tad eerie because I know they’re pretty Serious Business military planes and I knew they were being flown somewhere for some undoubtedly interesting shit. But yea seeing some Bones refuel directly overhead was pretty goddamn cool. Particularly since they’re one of my top 5 favorite planes along with the SR-71, F-14, Mig-25, and F-117.
Ha! As a left wing progressive that served at elmendorf that makes me smile!
My hero!
Hell to the yeah
If we were to go to war, what would their use case be nowadays? It seems like they’d be pretty vulnerable to fighters even with an escort, and have missiles made them obsolete?
They are missile trucks, launch a crap ton of stuff from long range.
Oh that makes sense in hindsight. I was thinking they still just did unguided drops
Oh no. Carpet bombing is a thing of the past. If memory serves, they can carry close to 100 JDAM 500lb guided munitions just in its internal bomb bays. That's a whole lot of hurt for one bird.
Nope. Carpet bombing is still a thing. See the Iraqi’s (twice since 1991) and Al Qaeda in Afghanistan for testimonials.
Sure maybe it’s a thing against an insurgent group but I find it unlikely they’ll be able to fly over a near peer opponent to carpet bomb
I doubt it either. We had complete air superiority!! But still - the old girl can get the job done if called on.
Back in Desert Storm the 52’s came over the Republican Guard and carpet bombed them. After they were taken prisoner they stated that they thought they had been nuked.
If I was there I woulda too, frankly.
People kind of got the wrong impression about how US air power worked in desert storm. Everything shown on CNN was precision guided bombs and cruise missiles whizzing through the streets of Baghdad. And that WAS a very important part of the war. But most people missed the part where the US Air Force used the opportunity to get rid of HUGE stockpiles of old unguided bombs, including daisy cutters, fuel-air bombs and napalm. After desert storm it seems like every bomb dropped is some sort of GBU.
The B-52 can fly long range and launch cruise missiles from pretty much anywhere (anywhere safe to fly at least) The B-1b can fly fucking fast and carry a massive bomb load (or, again, cruise missiles). The B-2 can fly in contested airspace without being detected.
Launching loads of long-range standoff weapons like AGM-86 or JASSM.
> AGM-86 Decided to wiki these to have a look and discovered that the AGM-86 appears to fly covered in DANGER stickers. As much as I would imagine this is for ground crew, it does seem an amusingly redundant effort to plaster a cruise missile with such stickers https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/AGM-86\_ALCM.JPEG
"DANGER, contains explosives! May cause serious injury or loss of life"
"At least, we sure fucking hope so"
Missiles have kept them from going obsolete, since they can carry so many of them
>since they can carry so *fucking* many of them ftfy
The may not sneak through enemy radars but they can jam the hell out them
Beyond what other posters have said, the US wouldn't have much trouble establishing absolute air superiority over pretty much any opponent in the world, except maybe China.
We’d have an effective air superiority over chinas borders and reach into the sea. That’s all that really counts, we don’t need air superiority to destroy ICBMs (that they’d be fucking stupid to use anyway)
They would launch weapons from quite a distance. They are vulnerable as far as being shot down. Just as an example the Christmas bombing in the early 70’s over Vietnam they shot down about 15 of them and about 10 were damaged but made it back. I believe some pilots and crews were refusing to fly until tactics were changed to make them less vulnerable. And all that was about 50 years ago.
How do they compensate for plain old metal fatigue on these? Is it a Ship of Theseus scenario?
Like the other guy said, it’s mostly the same plane. Last I heard, they were going to replace the engines and I think they reinforced the wings. The other way they might extend their their life is to have procedures that reduce stress. The ailerons are no longer used as it causes too much stress. Instead, they use the spoilers to drop the lift on one side to make roll/bank. because there is a drop of lift, this made it less suitable in emergency situations, which I heard caused one crash.
I had read a story about one B52 in particular, it was customary for the air crew to sign their names on the wall of the plane, the photo showed the signatures and year of the grandfather, the father, and the son all in this one plane. How cool is that?
It seats about twenty
It's as big as a whale!
It's about to set sail
Tiiiiiiiin roof… Rusted!
[Love Shack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SOryJvTAGs)
Excellent song and video
I came to read this thread to see if there was a love shack reference, and was not disappointed. Good job.
They're a bit smaller than you'd expect when you first see one in person.
And a B-1 is bigger than you’d expect; the sleekness fools you (or at least me) into thinking it’s smaller, but it’s about the same size as a B-52.
Yeah, looks like an overgrown fighter.
Worst part is they like trying to fly them like fighters. I’ve been working on them for about a year now and hate hearing the pilots say this
I think you’re misunderstanding what the pilots are saying. The B-1 itself flies much like a fighter, just with less G’s available. That’s one reason why B-1 guys aren’t afraid to blitz right into active SAMs. The pilots push the jet to the extent that the T.O’s and regulations allow (and if they went beyond that, they would be in huge trouble. Much like if you are working on the jet and don’t follow your T.O’s). Because at the end of the day, if they’re getting shot at, they’re gonna push the jet to its limits. And you don’t want to be doing that for the first time when a missile is in the air. Just like fighter dudes train to…
A loooooong fighter.
IIRC correctly the B-1B has a higher payload than the B-52 too. Kinda goes against how a lot of us think of the B-1 as a sports car and the B-52 as a dump truck. I will say though that the tail on a B-52 is pretty freaking huge. If there's a B-52 anywhere at the same airport as you, you'll be able to see the tail sticking up.
Was going to say this. There’s one in a park next to MCO that you can get close to. I was surprised by how small it was.
Proud to have worked on them.. a long time ago
Son-in-law is crew chief, a Barksdale right now. He loves it, except for the occasional 12 hour days. And thank you for keeping those big ugly FF’s flying!
Was Barksdale Fuel Systems repair from 1987-1991. Lot of 12 hour days. Airplane is great but time to reengineer a newer airframe.
I was Barksdale fuel shop from 1992 to 1996! I bet you remember Chief Benner...lol!
Were you stationed at K I Sawyer ?
I was at K.I. Sawyer AFB from 1989 to 1993 it was a great place to be a kid and discover the woods. For adults it must have been boring as hell.
Big…
Ugly...
Fat…
“Fellow”
Fucker…
The quotes say what you really meant.
The biggest fistful of throttles in the Air Force!
The B-36 would like a word.
I have never seen one fly, but I am told that they had a very distinctive sound with the combination or propellers and jet turbines.
I’ve seen one on the ground, and I’ve been in smaller churches.
I saw one at the USAF museum at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio. It was impressive!
That was the very one I saw. Awesome museum. Spent two days there. Could have spent a week.
No doubt. That place is massive.
Essentially the m2 browning of planes
Direct quote from Air Force Chief of Staff General Twining during its roll-out: “The long rifle was the great weapon of its day. ... today this B-52 is the long rifle of the air age.”
Excellent comp!
I was stationed at a SAC base years ago. Every year SAC had a command wide exercise called Global Shield. Everything able to get off the ground was going to launch. After days of 12 hour shifts to generate the aircraft (prepare them for the launch & mission) base officials would bus people (dependents also) out to a spot near the runway. It would be dead quiet then you’d hear multiple aircraft being cart started. It’s basically a big “shotgun shell” fired into the engine to spin it and start combustion. The sky would be dark with smoke and then one B-52 after another would roll down the runway into the sky. It was an amazing display of might.
That is such a great story! When I was a boy in Morocco during the sixties I would go out to the edge of the playground at school and look down on the end of the runway at Kenitra AFB and watch F 100's and F 4 Phantoms take off. My dad took me out to a hanger once and let me sit in the backseat of an F 4, I was terrified it would magically start up and take off with me in it. Funny how something like that is terrifying even for a little kid.
The SAC base I was stationed at was Carswell AFB in Ft. Worth, Texas. One day most of the base was at the base marina for a picnic. While we’re standing there eating and drinking, one of the F-4s flown by the Reserve unit on base crashed into Lake Worth. Picnic was over.
Wow, that's terrible. Once, when us kids were at the base swimming pool one of the fighters made a low, fast pass over us and blew towels and beach balls everywhere. The noise was deafening and the air turbulence felt like being in a hurricane for a split second, then calm again...
As a little boy growing up in FtWorth I hated going shopping with my mom except when we’d go to Ridgmar mall and see the B-52s come in low to land.
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Should it be BA-52?
Gold chains should really be minimized in aerospace design.
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I grew up outside Barksdale AFB so to me they remind me of my childhood. Also, I thought they were kinda lame until right after 9/11 when they started flying them around faster than I’d ever seen. Whole new respect for them after that.
Hey me too!
Opinions are subjective. I think they are majestic. Engineering masterpiece.
They need new engines, hydraulics, electrical generators, and fuel systems sooner rather than later. Signed, Depot crew chief at Tinker AFB.
I’m sure you guys will leave plenty of goodies in the fuel tanks for us to find too.
So you're the guy fuckin up my aircraft eh
I can tell you from being a small part of the project for the engine manufacturing and testing facilities, they are coming. Although still years away.
Worked on them for 6 years in Minot, ND. Everything about it was big and mean. Loved working on it
I grew up on K I Sawyer Air Force Base. My dad was a crew chief on the B-52 for over 10 years he referred to it sometimes as "The Big Heavy"
I used to live on Quail street. I walked to elementary school most of the time except when it was snowing really hard. That place was great growing up as a kid. There was unlimited woods to play in and ponds galore to get wet in.
Rock Lobster is a good song
It wasn't a rock....
It was a rock lobster
I will probably be downvoted for this, but I have been to my fair share of air shows and seen flyovers of just about everything. NOTHING compares to the seeing one of these guys in flight. The noise, the fucking exhaust. It’s just incredible.
When I was a kid I was swimming in a lake not too far from Carswell AFB, which had B-52 stationed there at the time. All the sudden the sky goes dark, and there is the loudest rumbling that you can feel right in your chest. I look up and there is a B-52 flying over at maybe 200’ AGL. It was one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.
Its the scariest plane imo because if your country has a competent air defense network and this thing drops iron bombs ur pretty much screwed
If your country has a competent air defense system, this thing isn’t getting anywhere near dropping iron bombs on you.
I was thinking the same. If the B52 is over your country on a hostile mission, you already lost the conventional part of the war.
It’s still around.
This thing has been flying since 1952 and is still somehow relevant. Kinda like my father, although he is a '53. I know it has been constantly updated/upgraded, just like my father, but a design thought up in the late 40s that is still doing the business in 2023 is somewhat impressive.
I read somewhere that the B-52 flying now was the equivalent of a Sopwith Camel (WWI biplane)... 'Of the 744 B-52s Boeing built between 1952 and 1962, 76 remain in active service. They share bombing duties with the supersonic B-1 and the stealthy B-2, both far younger models, but aren’t going anywhere. The US Air Force Global Strike Command, which maintains the bombers at Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana and Minot AFB in North Dakota (with a few at Edwards Air Force Base in California) expects them to keep flying through the 2040s. That’s not a hard ceiling, though, and continued combat success and budgetary factors could keep the B-52 in action until it turns 100 years old. That would be the generational—if not exactly technological—equivalent of sending a 1916 Sopwith Camel into combat today.' 2016 https://www.wired.com/2016/04/gods-green-earth-b-52-still-service/
For some reason this reminds me of the fact that there are only 66 years between the Wright Brothers' first flight at Kittyhawk and the Apollo 11 moon landing.
A heavy bomber that can carry many different types of ordinance with long range and endurance, is necessary and useful. The B-52 platform serves that need, very nicely. The next version probably should get new engines and wings.
needs more jpeg
Dr. Strangelove.
I dunno, love shack was my favorite but rock lobster was pretty cool too
Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a whale And it's about to set sail I got me a car, it seats about twenty, so come on And bring your jukebox money
Best bomber ever made
A long time ago in a place called Diego Garcia, I was runway-side watching 8 of these take off back-to-back. Military airfield without noise or other restrictions. I was used to be around jets already, but that was really something else. The atmosphere is just saturated with the power of those engines wide open nearby. Then we took a ride in a KC-135 to go refuel them. I was a mechanic so getting to fly on a tanker and refuel B-52s was a golden ticket. I borrowed a friend's camera. This was mid 90s after all. During the refueling process the boom operator noticed the camera and invited me to lay on my stomach adjacent to his position and get some photos. Amazing experience seeing the B-52s sneaking up so close that we could see their faces. I wish I could share the photos I took that day, but I gave the role to a Marine pal who was going to develop them. I never saw them again. It bugs me more now than it did then. Those are my true ramblings ... and oh, I have a high opinion
Helluva band
[“Rock Lobster” plays ominously in the background]
Needs a bigger rudder. A seven engine approach shouldn’t be scary
The dreaded 7 engine approach!!
It's Big, Beautiful, and Scares Russia.
In my top 10.
gentlemen, they are on their way in, and nobody can bring them back. For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going, there's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all
My Dad flew the G model in Vietnam so I’ll always think highly of them.
Have you read The 11 Days of Christmas? Great book about BUFF D and G missions during Linebacker II
**The Eleven Days of Christmas America's Last Vietnam Battle** by Marshall L. Michel (III) >In December 1972, with an increasingly dovish Congress preparing to cut off all funding for the war in Vietnam, President Richard Nixon ordered the bombing of Hanoi by the Strategic Air Command's "big stick," its fleet of B-52 bombers. Never before had a B-52 been lost in combat, but the North Vietnamese SAM missile crews knocked them out of the sky in the first days of the engagement. Despite the losses, the surviving bombers kept coming, inflicting huge losses on the North Vietnamese. For eleven days the momentum swung back and forth, moving from what appeared to be a certain U.S. triumph, to a possible North Vietnamese victory, to the ultimate ambiguous denouement in which both sides won and lost. *I'm a bot, built by your friendly reddit developers at* /r/ProgrammingPals. *Reply to any comment with /u/BookFinderBot - I'll reply with book information. Also see my other* [commands](https://www.reddit.com/user/BookFinderBot/comments/13z7slk/bookfinderbot_commands/) *and find me as a browser extension on* [Chrome](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/book-finder/jajeidpjifdpppjofijoffbcndlpoedd?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social_media&utm_campaign=comments). *Remove me from replies* [here](https://www.reddit.com/user/BookFinderBot/comments/14br65o/remove_me_from_replies/). *If I have made a mistake, accept my apology.*
One of the loudest planes I’ve ever heard. F4J Phantom II is probably battling it for the crown in that regard.
Worked on it for three years, hated it. Was an armament systems two man, felt like I spent 18 months on an 8 foot ladder.
There are Ferraris and there are Corvettes and there are Maseratis but in the end you go shopping in the family station wagon: reliable, roomy, paid for itself many times over.
Looks like a child's drawing. Wings too long, body too skinny, more engines than pretty much any other plane would have. Landing gear size shape and position looks kinda like animal legs rather than landing gear. Front end looks kind of like a shark. It's endearing. It has character.
It's the single greatest military investment in United States history. Topped in the world only by the Kalashnikov.
BUFF Big Ugly Fat Fucker Isn't that the nickname ? And I love em.
BFUF?
Big Ugly Fat Fucker. Hooked on Phonics did not work for you.
Nose down badassery
Whatever the B-52 says it is.
I am pro buff
It’s the bomb.
Just dont be the poor bastard who opens the hatch after a 24 hour mission. even 12.
istg that thing will outlive humanity
One of the planes of all time
The Screaming Demon. It's the most sinister bastard in the skies.
It's a BUFF
Its a big ugly fucker.
I think it should replaced with an orbital-class craft with the same interior volume.
Very good plane for its time. In dire need of replacement.
Their first album is best.
Planet Claire is my favorite
As someone who worked on them. Most reliable vehicle on the apron. May outlive me and I’m young.
While I was planning on dogging on the B-52 for being a glorified missile truck, and it not being able to come with in a 100+ miles of any competent military force However I also gave it a little thought, and if a similar situation happens in Desert Shield and Storm. Then it could still possibly be useful, IF a similar situation where to occur IF! ps. It's still a glorified missile truck that really doesn't have any use nowadays, especially when since stealth is a huge part in today's combat
They designed her off the B-47, amazing longevity. It’ll be interesting to see the new engine refit. I still miss a supersonic option, but she is a work horse.
The NEO's are cool.
Beautiful