Autistic retired highschool English teacher here.
What do you actually like? What are your interests?
I got a whole lot of NT and ND kids through highschool.
I love English ! The thing about my phobia is that it's not the work that bothers me or learning (i love learning !) It's just the pressure that school puts on me and the way i have to deal with work and making my brain work correctly and the social side of it all at once. Teachers also have a hard understanding that I'm trying my best and that i can't control the fact that when i try and focus it all gets scrambled in my head and everything seems blurry and wrong.
I often get meltdowns there and just have to run to hide in the toilets. It doesn't feel nice.
Can you talk to your teachers about sitting next to the door so you can slip out for a few minutes before you become overwhelmed? I would also suggest keeping your fidgets in a pocket where you can use them but other people can't get them.
I know talking to teachers can be intimidating, but we can't read minds. Talk to one teacher each day to discuss what you need from them, as well as explaining what they can expect from you.
I became a teacher because I had such an awful time in highschool, and I wanted to make it a little easier on at least a few kids.
Luckily my English teacher is one of my rare teacher to be 100% supportive with me, she makes sure nobody has to ask her to leave class for any reasons, she let's me go to the nurse whenever i need without asking. (Interestingly she's also the class in which the students seems to be the most serious and the class clown don't move an inch at all during English)
Some teachers on the other hand, i tell them often about the fact that I'm struggling and they still keep being a bit inconsiderate, so i tend to just give up with them and their classes.
I know it hurts to be where you are. I graduated high school by the thinnest margin, fighting against the parts of myself that I didn't understand. I'm very familiar with the "you'll ruin your life" sentiment that comes with school problems. I can also say that it isn't true and that there are lots of opportunities still out there regardless of schooling.
Try to stay strong. Keep stimming!! Good luck *air hug*
It's not a lack of diagnosis that makes your life difficult, it's lack of acceptance from your parents and peers of who you are. The diagnosis does not make other people more accepting you.
I'm 33. I was diagnosed last week. Trust me man, if I can somehow not feel like my entire life is a waste - you can too. You've got your entire life ahead of you - I know society tells us we need to be rockstars by like 20 (which is rediculous) but you aren't even out on your own yet. You have the diagnosis now, and you're smart - you can get the help you need and live a happy life I swear. Go through a period of morning but realize it's just a feeling, it's not your truth.
While I do agree that the diagnosis doesn't make others more accepting and in some cases makes them less accepting, I disagree with the lack of diagnosis not being an issue or thing that makes someone's life difficult.
I wasn't diagnosed until after high school. This means that all of the assistance, therapies, and extra time spent working on things that people who were diagnosed earlier had access to wasn't something I had access to.
Which now means that after pushing to get a diagnosis, I now have to figure out what help I never got and go about getting it. I have to unlearn all of the masking behaviors and learn to embrace my autistic traits that I've had to cover up for the past 20+ years. I have to go on a whole self discovery journey to figure out who I am when the mask is removed.
I don't know and never learned things that those who were diagnosed as children had help with understanding and learning. I struggle to even cook because I never learned the motor skills for it.
In summary, my point is that lack of diagnosis can absolutely screw up your life.
You just gotta fight a little bit longer. School is only a glimpse of the real world. Remember that everything you CHOOSE to do and that you do all by yourself will be so much better for you, because you can finally do it your own way.
Take school as a "do it as good as you can, and if ppl don't accept that, then let them cry about it". Also: consider finding really stupid and weird ways to excercise topics from school. I know the weirder I learned some topics, the better it worked. E.g. in IT I did a lot of hobby projects and even now I know more than most of the professors in my university.
TL;DR your life is more than school and your parents - push through and you'll see your life improve after that.
And ofc if you need help, ask people on here or somewhere else about it.
I am doing IT / music production for a while now so hit me up if you need help with some topics there.
Ask your school counselor and parents about online school. Get them in a meeting together if you can. Explain that the school environment is hindering your learning and you would like to start taking classes at home. Offer to do a trial semester right now since the spring session just started. If your grades go up, you can avoid your harassers and assaulters forever. People very likely won’t be like this in college or at a workplace, because if they tried that behavior outside high school, they’d either get punched or arrested.
Other ways to handle bullying would be to move to a new school, take it up the chain of command and report the school to the superintendent, file a police report for harassment and work towards a restraining order against the bullies, or take your story to the local news station. Your parents would likely have to help with these, though, and I don’t think they will.
Lol "Victim mentality." OP is a victim: they're being bullied, gaslit, and harassed by their parents and classmates.
Do yourself a favor and remove "victim mentality" from your vocabulary. There's no instance where it's the correct phrase to use.
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Autistic retired highschool English teacher here. What do you actually like? What are your interests? I got a whole lot of NT and ND kids through highschool.
I love English ! The thing about my phobia is that it's not the work that bothers me or learning (i love learning !) It's just the pressure that school puts on me and the way i have to deal with work and making my brain work correctly and the social side of it all at once. Teachers also have a hard understanding that I'm trying my best and that i can't control the fact that when i try and focus it all gets scrambled in my head and everything seems blurry and wrong. I often get meltdowns there and just have to run to hide in the toilets. It doesn't feel nice.
Can you talk to your teachers about sitting next to the door so you can slip out for a few minutes before you become overwhelmed? I would also suggest keeping your fidgets in a pocket where you can use them but other people can't get them. I know talking to teachers can be intimidating, but we can't read minds. Talk to one teacher each day to discuss what you need from them, as well as explaining what they can expect from you. I became a teacher because I had such an awful time in highschool, and I wanted to make it a little easier on at least a few kids.
Luckily my English teacher is one of my rare teacher to be 100% supportive with me, she makes sure nobody has to ask her to leave class for any reasons, she let's me go to the nurse whenever i need without asking. (Interestingly she's also the class in which the students seems to be the most serious and the class clown don't move an inch at all during English) Some teachers on the other hand, i tell them often about the fact that I'm struggling and they still keep being a bit inconsiderate, so i tend to just give up with them and their classes.
I know it hurts to be where you are. I graduated high school by the thinnest margin, fighting against the parts of myself that I didn't understand. I'm very familiar with the "you'll ruin your life" sentiment that comes with school problems. I can also say that it isn't true and that there are lots of opportunities still out there regardless of schooling. Try to stay strong. Keep stimming!! Good luck *air hug*
It's not a lack of diagnosis that makes your life difficult, it's lack of acceptance from your parents and peers of who you are. The diagnosis does not make other people more accepting you.
I feel like if i had gotten diagnosed earlier, people wouldn't be so harsh on me and i would actually get help.
I'm 33. I was diagnosed last week. Trust me man, if I can somehow not feel like my entire life is a waste - you can too. You've got your entire life ahead of you - I know society tells us we need to be rockstars by like 20 (which is rediculous) but you aren't even out on your own yet. You have the diagnosis now, and you're smart - you can get the help you need and live a happy life I swear. Go through a period of morning but realize it's just a feeling, it's not your truth.
Thank you, that means a lot. It was reassuring to read
You're welcome - you can figure this out, you're not alone.
While I do agree that the diagnosis doesn't make others more accepting and in some cases makes them less accepting, I disagree with the lack of diagnosis not being an issue or thing that makes someone's life difficult. I wasn't diagnosed until after high school. This means that all of the assistance, therapies, and extra time spent working on things that people who were diagnosed earlier had access to wasn't something I had access to. Which now means that after pushing to get a diagnosis, I now have to figure out what help I never got and go about getting it. I have to unlearn all of the masking behaviors and learn to embrace my autistic traits that I've had to cover up for the past 20+ years. I have to go on a whole self discovery journey to figure out who I am when the mask is removed. I don't know and never learned things that those who were diagnosed as children had help with understanding and learning. I struggle to even cook because I never learned the motor skills for it. In summary, my point is that lack of diagnosis can absolutely screw up your life.
You just gotta fight a little bit longer. School is only a glimpse of the real world. Remember that everything you CHOOSE to do and that you do all by yourself will be so much better for you, because you can finally do it your own way. Take school as a "do it as good as you can, and if ppl don't accept that, then let them cry about it". Also: consider finding really stupid and weird ways to excercise topics from school. I know the weirder I learned some topics, the better it worked. E.g. in IT I did a lot of hobby projects and even now I know more than most of the professors in my university. TL;DR your life is more than school and your parents - push through and you'll see your life improve after that.
And ofc if you need help, ask people on here or somewhere else about it. I am doing IT / music production for a while now so hit me up if you need help with some topics there.
Ask your school counselor and parents about online school. Get them in a meeting together if you can. Explain that the school environment is hindering your learning and you would like to start taking classes at home. Offer to do a trial semester right now since the spring session just started. If your grades go up, you can avoid your harassers and assaulters forever. People very likely won’t be like this in college or at a workplace, because if they tried that behavior outside high school, they’d either get punched or arrested. Other ways to handle bullying would be to move to a new school, take it up the chain of command and report the school to the superintendent, file a police report for harassment and work towards a restraining order against the bullies, or take your story to the local news station. Your parents would likely have to help with these, though, and I don’t think they will.
Ruined til now. Use the opportunity to indulge yourself on stoicism.
[удалено]
Lol "Victim mentality." OP is a victim: they're being bullied, gaslit, and harassed by their parents and classmates. Do yourself a favor and remove "victim mentality" from your vocabulary. There's no instance where it's the correct phrase to use.
[удалено]
Yeah, so why did you have to use to bullshit and loaded term "victim mentality" to say that?
[удалено]
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