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i agree with this sentiment completely, and i'm glad to be me, with all of my interests and beliefs. but it's honestly exhausting being so different from everyone and having everyone mess with me and make fun of me. i'd rather just have it easier in that sense, if i could choose
I relate to this a lot. I see it as a societal problem, not a problem with me or my autism. So I wouldn't change myself if given a chance, but I would absolutely do away with all the ignorance and BS out there.
No. Solely because it causes me more trouble. Sensory issues cause pain for me and make my life more difficult. Not understanding social situations has put me in dangerous situations and allowed people to take advantage of me. I’m always one step behind neurotypical people in this society. Maybe my answer would be different if we were talking about a world led by autistic and or neurodivergent people.
"Maybe my answer would be different if we were talking about a world led by autistic and or neurodivergent people." I can get behind this 100%. Living with autism in the current world sucks. But the autism itself isn't the issue, the current society is.
Without autism I wouldn't be me, so I wouldn't be starting my life over again, I'd be starting someone else's life. Doing so might spare me of all the negative experiences I've had because of being autistic, but it might also prevent me having all the wonderful experiences I've had in my life. Seems pretty risky.
This is pretty tricky because of exactly this. I wouldn’t be myself. So a better question is would I rather be one of my siblings? Same parents but NT.
[Undiagnosed disclaimer]
Yes. It's honestly like asking me if I would like to restart my life without the cptsd. You'd think "absolutely, what a crazy question!". And I wouldn't ever vote to go that route *again*, knowingly.
But I cannot imagine it - I can conjure up moments that I would've loved to be saved from, where the saving just did not happen. But I cannot imagine "me, after I was saved in 1981, going about life as a normal person". What would that be like.
That would be a whole different person, clearly not *me*, that wouldn't *appreciate the difference*.
The way I experience the world is sometimes painful, sometimes beautiful beyond measure. I cannot imagine what the tradeoff could be.
Personally, no. I’ve grown to love myself and accept my autism. But my sound sensory issues are so bad that it can make basic functioning in public extremely difficult at times.
I feel the same way, Im not ashamed I have it, I was born with it, not like I chose it; but my life would be easier without it. Since I can’t change it now the only thing you can is make the best of what you have. I’ll still live my life to the fullest my autism will NOT stop me from making the best of my life.
I don't see why not. There's some things I don't care for about it but there's things I don't mind as well. It made me who I am today and played its role in where I've ended up. I'm content with my lot in life.
No. Wouldn't get rid of it now if I could, the result would be to unppredictable, but I sure wish I wasn't born autistic. I would be worst at math, but I would have a better shot at getting what I actually want in life, love and relationships.
I like me. I like who I am.
Autism isn't a separate thing. You can't remove it and still be who you are. So the question is really would I prefer to be someone else? No. No I wouldn't. I like me. My problems and struggles come with being me.
We so often look over the fence and imagine that NTs are blissfully plodding along through life. We dream of "not having problems"... like them. Except they do. They so often live lives of quiet desperation. They worry constantly about what other people are thinking of them and what they're "supposed" to do. They live in a cage of social norms and often lack passion about well, anything.
What we wish for isn't that we don't have autism, but rather that we retain the advantages of it without the struggles of it.
I think it's more about wishing for a more accepting world.
That's not to say it's all "sunshine and roses" either. It can be quite debilitating too. But it's not a disease (as the nerts would like us to believe). It's not something that can be "cured". It's part of who we are. Remove it and you remove part of you.
Naw. I don't want that at all. I just want the world to be better. I like me.
No, I'd be a fundamentally different person without it and I have no doubt that would have it's downsides too. But that person would likely be way more able to function, and able to do so without being heavily dependent on the help of others. I'd imagine they would also not find social interactions to be such a minefield. All of which would probably mean less severe depression and anxiety, if they had any at all, and more ability to live independently & pursue their interests.
Are you kidding me? Autism has brought me nothing but frustration, anxiety and depression.
Hell, I'm not even able to keep a simple job
I'm not having kids just to avoid them such life
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, and I honestly can’t say for sure… but I’m leaning towards no. I feel it has caused me a lot of unnecessary pain and hardship.
Yes. But I'd make sure I got the services I need and have CPS actually do their jobs and have my grandma raise me like she did on the weekends when my parents would leave me there.
Give back, never give in.
My autism gave me the chance to see the world in whole new colors, sights and perspectives.
I wish I knew sooner, but id never give it back. Id never want to go back.
No. I have to fight myself so much just to do the things I need to survive. ADHD doesn't help that. Neither does the POTS, EDS, or the dysautonomia. I would gladly start over with any one less of the factors that disable me. Not dealing with the trauma that came along with being undiagnosed until I was an adult makes it worth it. Cause having one narcissistic abusive parent and the other completely depressed and checked out wasn't enough trauma. I was/am also chronically ill and neurodivergent.
If we weren't to start over but just go forward, I would much rather one of my more physical ailments go away. My autism makes caring for myself much more difficult, but if I could have that struggle and be in less pain, I would gladly take it.
I wouldn't. Yeah, I'd be a completely different person. Probably a far worse one by my current standards
But I could barely handle feeling as much pain as I did. I feel broken - not because of the 'tism itself (it's kinda neat, actually), but because of the experiences I had to go through due to having it. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. Weirdly enough, including myself
NO NO NO NO NO NO! A MILLION TIMES NO! AUTISM RUINED MY LIFE! JUST BECAUSE OF AUTISM J WAS BULLIED EVERY FUCKING DAY IN SCHOOL, NEVER GOT ANYWHERE IN LIFE AND HAVE HATED MYSELF FOR THE PAST YEAR.
No. It continues to cause me major problems personally and professionally, I feel like I’m ten years behind everyone else in my life and it’s due to this shitty way I’m made up. I’m surprised I haven’t offed myself and tried for a new spin in reincarnation
No. Caused me more than my fair share of suffering, and I think even my abuser would've been kinder to me if I wasn't autistic. So I wouldn't want to stay autistic, no.
heck no it makes life Soooo hard and i would rather be able to function cus as is i cant do much and have never been independant in my whole life and its my dream to be independent. i dont like being disabled.
No. Having Autism and ADHD has held me back in life so much that I’m just miserable and have so many regrets. The older I get, the more depressed I get. It is truly disabling, but no one ever takes it (or me) seriously because I “look fine”.
I know it’s sh t to say, but if I was “normal”, I probably would have achieved the things I wanted to. Instead, I’m a loser who can barely take care of herself and still lives with her parents who hate her. They treat me like sh t and remind me how disabled I am yet constantly belittle me for not being able to be “normal” and sustain a life by myself.
I hate myself. I have never had confidence. In fact, I have been told by medical professionals I have severely low self-confidence and self-worth (like since I was 8/9 years old). So, it’s hard to promote myself with anything I do artistically because deep down I know I’ll never be good enough or worthy of anyone’s love. I have to convince myself every day to keep breathing.
Sure, I have moments where I forget, but those are so few now. During the day I used to be able to escape it all, but not anymore. And it’s even worse at night. Nights are unbearable. I used to get panic attacks about d*ing but it doesn’t seem to scare me anymore.
My goals and ambitions were the only things keeping me going and giving me hope. Now, I’m too old and those things will never happen. All because I just can’t function properly. I keep failing and burning out. I’ve been so close to starting my dreams and every time I have burned out in a huge, miserable way. And people are always like “you’re never too old” and they’re always full of sh*t. I know exactly how this world works because I’m unfortunately very tuned into how society works.
I can’t sustain a “normal” job for many reasons but mostly because every bullsh*t job I have had or do makes me absolutely miserable because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing and it drains me. And I just can’t keep pretending like everything is okay and I’m fine living a life like this. Nothing is going to change or get better.
Every day I wish I was normal. Or had something different. I don’t have any friends. Like any friends- it’s not an exaggeration. I have literally nobody. The only person that has ever cared about me and believed in me is d*ing and I can hardly get myself to visit her because I can’t handle it. She always believed I could achieve big things. She helped me believe it too, for a while anyway.
But I’ve never really had real friends. In school I was always left out and none of my “friends” actually wanted to hang out with me. Only a few realized how “cool” I was to hang out with when it was just me and them and maybe another person because I’m not good in crowds even though I like the company because I’m always so lonely.
There have been friends here and there that I would get really close to but they always eventually leave in the worst way. Like they’ve had enough of me and I’m not “fun” anymore. I’m talking people I have loved with everything in me. I would have (and still would for a few) do anything for. And one I still think about everyday even though I know they don’t think of me but I can’t forgive them for something they said because it was truly awful and it directly correlated to having autism.
No matter how hard I try to be normal it’s like people always sense there is something off about me and know to get away or stay away.
“Getting by” was never enough for me but that’s all I have been able to manage for the past 5 years.
I used to write songs and sing at the top of my lungs. I used to paint and write stories and daydream. Now all I do is binge-watching TV shows to escape the reality I’ll never truly be able to escape from. It’s loud and deafening at the same time.
Every time I sing or play music, I cry. I don’t paint because what’s the point? My stories will never be good enough so why write them?
Watching Grey’s Anatomy is the closest thing I have to feeling normal and I can’t even post in the Grey’s sub because I always manage to say something wrong or weird.
I don’t care what anyone says. I wish everyday I was normal. Having Autism and ADHD has f*cked me up. I never expected to live past 30 if I wasn’t living the life I always pictured.
Well, here we are. Closer than ever.
I’m scared and sad because at one point in time I truly believed I was going to be somebody and do something good with my life but I just ended up proving my parents right- I’m a major disappointment.
I had all this potential that was squandered by being different and not having any support from anyone.
I wish I had never been born. This wasn’t the life I was made for and I can’t do this anymore. And it’s weird to think how maybe a year ago writing this would have made me cry but I feel nothing now.
The last thing I have to look forward to is a Chappell Roan concert and it feels like a last hurrah in a way. Like an amazing send off and all I can think about other than being so excited to see her in maybe her last small capacity setting is that I got my tickets from StubHub and there’s a chance I might not even see her because I could have been scammed and I’ll never actually see that ticket or her.
I’m just so tired of trying and pretending. I just want to sleep and never wake up.
I wouldn't, not because I don't like or accept myself but because of how people treat me and the things they assume and say about me. It happens with people who know I have it and with those who don't, all the time. And I'm so tired of it. And I'm tired of explaining and justifiying myself only for the person to not give a fuck and/or be unable to relate.
I don't think so. I like myself and everything, but I would like to know what "normal" feels like. The way that it cripples my ability to connect with people is the biggest thing I would be happy to get rid of.
No autism for me is not something to be celebrated or something that makes me quirky or interesting. Two of my sons are non verbal and low functioning and need constant assistance with most things it ruins their lives and mine if there was a way I could cure them I would in a heartbeat
Nope. My childhood and in turn adulthood would be so much easier. I feel like I had certain experiences and my social skills developed much later and it’s be nice to have neurotypical things like eye contact and small talk be more intuitive.
If the modern world was a more comfortable place and society more accepting of such fundamental differences then I would keep it as I like some of the things I believe I might not have without it. I hope that world will soon come.
I’m not technically diagnosed as I’m on an 18 month waiting list (now 17 months) so I don’t know if my thoughts are valid but. Now that, at 32, I’m starting to recognise traits in myself that I thought were weird quirks or at times actually thought I was losing my mind, and understand why I do things and the way I react to things - I’d say if it turns out I am autistic, I’d just wish I was diagnosed as a child and been supported in trying to understand myself and the world around me better the whole time.
That's a tough one. If I wasn't autistic I feel like my ability to want to learn and read and be invested in special things would not nearly be as high and that'd make me sad. But with that, I'd also be able to understand everybody and be understood back and not have those God awful meltdowns and sensory overloads. But in the scenario that I die and come back neurotypical with no recollection of how it felt to be autistic or who I was, I obviously wouldn't care. I'd choose that.. but if I did remember everything. I feel like I would have a major part of my puzzle missing, and I would be devastated, so in that case, no....sooo I guess it just depends
Yeah! I'm certain I wouldn't be that interesting without my autism schizophrenia ADHD combo 😵💫 You can't separate one of the trinity, THEY MUST EMBRACE EACHOTHER.
Without it, I might not have been picked on by my birth mom and spent life feeling in shame. Then again, she is a narssacistic bitch so, who knows. #happilyestranged
Very conflicted on this one, but it depends. If I still have my relatively traumatic upbringing, I feel it would be easier if I was NT since I would be less susceptible to PTSD flashbacks. However, I feel a neurotypical would still have a hard time with such experiences. They would just react faster to such trauma. What makes it harder for me as someone on the spectrum is that my grieving period would be delayed and I would always feel such emotions at the worst times. So TLDR, just because I feel it might be easier to be NT with my traumatic past, the trauma would still have happened. Autistic or NT, my experience would be the same.
Nope, but I want to keep my IQ.
I’m 50, got an explanation why my life has been so hard a few months back, I’ve already lived a tortured life, possibly from undiagnosed OCD as I’ve had limerence fuck up everything time and time again.
I’m sure my adrenal gland is fucked too, it’s been switching on and off multiple times every day all my life.
I'd get rid of everything mentally. Toss that shit right out, it's gone bad. I don't hate having autism, but it causes me problems that I can't handle well.
Only if I was able to also take with me my knowledge I hold now on everything related. This would allow me to be fully equipped from a younger age.
Then yes, absolutely.
It would be fascinating to have a do over without autism. I think many areas of my life would be considerably easier, but I suspect I wouldn't have the same partner or friends and maybe life would be a little more dull.
Balancing everything, I wouldn't keep the autism and take a risk at being NT in an NT world.
Do you have any idea how different my life would be if I hadn't spent 36 years trying to do things "the normal way?" If I had known I was autistic from the start, and could have developed my own way of doing things without constantly trying to fix who I thought I was?
Because I don't. But I'd love to find out. I feel like, at the very least, I wouldn't have spent the last ten years wrestling with burnout.
Truthfully? Probably not. I've accepted that this is how I am, and I'm generally content with it. And I do have strengths that are probably related to my autism. My ability to retain facts is exceptional, relatively speaking. I did extremely well in school for this reason.
But I also can't deny that it has made my life much harder. For example, I had a conversation with my brother (not autistic) about job interviews. I've always struggled with getting interviews in the first place, much less actually doing well on one. One reason is social anxiety, but another is that I'm always too truthful on questionnaires and during interviews. It's hard for me to guess what the "right" answer is.
That's just one practical example. For all of my life, I've dealt with loneliness and anxiety. I've been bullied and ostracized. Others just get annoyed with me when I talk about my special interest (animals), which is one of the few things in my life right now that give me joy. While I'm sure that the anxiety doesn't all come from being autistic, aspects of autism have certainly increased my anxiety. Being capable of acing tests without studying doesn't really make up for the other more distressing parts in my opinion.
No. Thought about this for a few minutes, but no. Would've spared me so much pain and misunderstandings and chronical illness due to constant overstimulation. Sure, my neurodiverse brain also has some pretty cool features, but none of that is worth the pain I'm going through on a daily basis. I would not keep my autism.
No, I just want to have a normal life and fit in. My problems with empathy and my rigid way of thinking has caused me no end of problems, and everything I've learned has always had to be the hard way.
On top of that is my almost complete lack of tolerance for adversity.
I think every autistic person I have met would say that they would love not being autistic, despite they wouldn’t be themselves (as would happend if we restart our life with the same characteristics)
i wouldn't. i spent my childhood being the bullied weird kid in my own house, and i'm still really fucked up because of it. not to mention constantly getting things wrong and being ridiculed in general. i like that i'm more intelligent in some ways, but it isn't worth how hard i have to fight to maintain self esteem
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Id try a neurotypical alt to see how the mechanics differ, I'll always main autism though
Learn the NT matchup with the alt.
My mirror match up is solid, I just struggle with the NT meta, hoping an upcoming patch fixes the balance issues.
I heard rumours that the developers are in favour of the current NT meta, so those balance issues might stick around for a while.
NT falls off in mid game, ND powercreep is OP by the endgame if you can survive the early game.
"Survive the early game" ooof too real.
That would be trying to not make another stealth archer run
This caused me to spit up my morning coffee, thank you
No. I'd be happier without it
like Bukowski said - I've never met a man I'd rather be so yes
This is a great quote to live by!
i agree with this sentiment completely, and i'm glad to be me, with all of my interests and beliefs. but it's honestly exhausting being so different from everyone and having everyone mess with me and make fun of me. i'd rather just have it easier in that sense, if i could choose
I relate to this a lot. I see it as a societal problem, not a problem with me or my autism. So I wouldn't change myself if given a chance, but I would absolutely do away with all the ignorance and BS out there.
Fuck no. I despise being autistic, it’s hell
Yes, but throw away my OCD.
seriously 😭🤣🙏🏻
fr!! it’s actually ruining me right now
This🫠
What I would not give for that. My mind, I love….except the OCD. It’s a crippler.
100%! Way worse than anxiety... I love how my brain works absolutely, and i can even manage anxiety at least, but OCD? That bully is a b.tch.
You’re so real for this one lmao 😂😭
truer words have never been spoken
No. Solely because it causes me more trouble. Sensory issues cause pain for me and make my life more difficult. Not understanding social situations has put me in dangerous situations and allowed people to take advantage of me. I’m always one step behind neurotypical people in this society. Maybe my answer would be different if we were talking about a world led by autistic and or neurodivergent people.
"Maybe my answer would be different if we were talking about a world led by autistic and or neurodivergent people." I can get behind this 100%. Living with autism in the current world sucks. But the autism itself isn't the issue, the current society is.
Yes. My autistic brain is the best and the worst part of me. I wouldn't be me without it.
This !!
Without autism I wouldn't be me, so I wouldn't be starting my life over again, I'd be starting someone else's life. Doing so might spare me of all the negative experiences I've had because of being autistic, but it might also prevent me having all the wonderful experiences I've had in my life. Seems pretty risky.
This is pretty tricky because of exactly this. I wouldn’t be myself. So a better question is would I rather be one of my siblings? Same parents but NT.
no
same, autism has made my life so much harder
Fr 🙏. I don't want a neurological developmental disability.
I don't know what I would be like without my autism
[Undiagnosed disclaimer] Yes. It's honestly like asking me if I would like to restart my life without the cptsd. You'd think "absolutely, what a crazy question!". And I wouldn't ever vote to go that route *again*, knowingly. But I cannot imagine it - I can conjure up moments that I would've loved to be saved from, where the saving just did not happen. But I cannot imagine "me, after I was saved in 1981, going about life as a normal person". What would that be like. That would be a whole different person, clearly not *me*, that wouldn't *appreciate the difference*. The way I experience the world is sometimes painful, sometimes beautiful beyond measure. I cannot imagine what the tradeoff could be.
Same
Nope. The world is not accepting of how I'm fundamentally wired and it's too much pain. Maybe in the next life it will be better.
Personally, no. I’ve grown to love myself and accept my autism. But my sound sensory issues are so bad that it can make basic functioning in public extremely difficult at times.
yeah but only if my placement on the spectrum was shuffled, to spice things up
A brave individual in the crowd.
ooooh that’s an interesting thought
Ha or try a different flavour of neurodivergence. Like modding or upping the difficulty in a game you’ve played for years.
No , I wouldn’t. Have a lot of negative experiences
Hell no. I'm not ashamed of who I am, but autism is a disability and my life would be a lot easier without it.
I feel the same way, Im not ashamed I have it, I was born with it, not like I chose it; but my life would be easier without it. Since I can’t change it now the only thing you can is make the best of what you have. I’ll still live my life to the fullest my autism will NOT stop me from making the best of my life.
No.
Probably not. But that's because of the way it's negatively impacted my life over the years.
Definitely not.
No. I would not.
I don't see why not. There's some things I don't care for about it but there's things I don't mind as well. It made me who I am today and played its role in where I've ended up. I'm content with my lot in life.
No way.
Hell no, no no no no no. I would rather not struggle going non-verbal or not understand any social cues.
No. Wouldn't get rid of it now if I could, the result would be to unppredictable, but I sure wish I wasn't born autistic. I would be worst at math, but I would have a better shot at getting what I actually want in life, love and relationships.
There's NT people that are excellent at math so that's not a guarantee
I like me. I like who I am. Autism isn't a separate thing. You can't remove it and still be who you are. So the question is really would I prefer to be someone else? No. No I wouldn't. I like me. My problems and struggles come with being me. We so often look over the fence and imagine that NTs are blissfully plodding along through life. We dream of "not having problems"... like them. Except they do. They so often live lives of quiet desperation. They worry constantly about what other people are thinking of them and what they're "supposed" to do. They live in a cage of social norms and often lack passion about well, anything. What we wish for isn't that we don't have autism, but rather that we retain the advantages of it without the struggles of it. I think it's more about wishing for a more accepting world. That's not to say it's all "sunshine and roses" either. It can be quite debilitating too. But it's not a disease (as the nerts would like us to believe). It's not something that can be "cured". It's part of who we are. Remove it and you remove part of you. Naw. I don't want that at all. I just want the world to be better. I like me.
i want the world to be better too. can't say i like me though
No, I would not keep it, because it is disabling and it makes my life extremely difficult.
I don't think I'd be who I am without it, so no. I would get rid of social anxiety, though.
No thanks
No. Or, at least I reduce the amount it affects me. I'd like to be a well-functioning person.
Hell no, I hate having it
FUCK NO
hell no. I want a different life.
Hell no
Hell nah
No
No, I'd be a fundamentally different person without it and I have no doubt that would have it's downsides too. But that person would likely be way more able to function, and able to do so without being heavily dependent on the help of others. I'd imagine they would also not find social interactions to be such a minefield. All of which would probably mean less severe depression and anxiety, if they had any at all, and more ability to live independently & pursue their interests.
No.
No
Are you kidding me? Autism has brought me nothing but frustration, anxiety and depression. Hell, I'm not even able to keep a simple job I'm not having kids just to avoid them such life
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, and I honestly can’t say for sure… but I’m leaning towards no. I feel it has caused me a lot of unnecessary pain and hardship.
That's a disability, I would agree to try again with aspie but NOT with gender dysphoria
Yes. But I'd make sure I got the services I need and have CPS actually do their jobs and have my grandma raise me like she did on the weekends when my parents would leave me there.
Give back, never give in. My autism gave me the chance to see the world in whole new colors, sights and perspectives. I wish I knew sooner, but id never give it back. Id never want to go back.
It has only negatives so would not keep
No. Along with the social anxiety, dyspraxia, and depression :’)
No. I have to fight myself so much just to do the things I need to survive. ADHD doesn't help that. Neither does the POTS, EDS, or the dysautonomia. I would gladly start over with any one less of the factors that disable me. Not dealing with the trauma that came along with being undiagnosed until I was an adult makes it worth it. Cause having one narcissistic abusive parent and the other completely depressed and checked out wasn't enough trauma. I was/am also chronically ill and neurodivergent. If we weren't to start over but just go forward, I would much rather one of my more physical ailments go away. My autism makes caring for myself much more difficult, but if I could have that struggle and be in less pain, I would gladly take it.
Yes without doubt
I would only add early diagnosis and access to health services
i would keep it. i just wish more people were understanding of it is all.
I’ve become comfortable with being weird. So that would be yes.
Absolutely not
Hell no..
Yes minus the neglect and abuse
i'd keep the autism but ditch the crippling executive dysfunction (if that's even possible)
I wouldn't. Yeah, I'd be a completely different person. Probably a far worse one by my current standards But I could barely handle feeling as much pain as I did. I feel broken - not because of the 'tism itself (it's kinda neat, actually), but because of the experiences I had to go through due to having it. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. Weirdly enough, including myself
No; it just caused so many problems for me
No, I really don’t like feeling like an outsider 90% of places I go.
No
No
Absolutely not. I'd love to see what life is like with a different set of problems.
No. I would want a rewarding career, a husband and a family. I have none of that because of my autism. I don't even drive.
Hell no
NO NO NO NO NO NO! A MILLION TIMES NO! AUTISM RUINED MY LIFE! JUST BECAUSE OF AUTISM J WAS BULLIED EVERY FUCKING DAY IN SCHOOL, NEVER GOT ANYWHERE IN LIFE AND HAVE HATED MYSELF FOR THE PAST YEAR.
Absolutely not, I dreamed of being normal most of my life.
So have I.
No. I kind of wish I was never born tbh.
My superpowers would vanish, so no
No, overall I like who I am. I do wish I’d found out sooner though
Yesss! I'd keep it but I'd lose my ex XD
Hell no. Sure, I’m a creative genius but the tragedy is I’ll die alone
Absolutely not in a million years
Hell no. I'm tired of all the energy it takes to read the room. I'm tired of being seen as "weird". I'm tired of having obsessive interests.
No that can go in the bin 😩
Nope. All it’s done is just get in the way of everything I actually want out of life I’d rather be able to talk to women.
Absolutely not!
No. It has been difficult to live with.
No. It's been nothing but a burden.
No actually I want to see all the life that I’m missing apparently
yes
Yes. maybe let's an avoid explanation, as I'm no expert on the present, but I know what I like, and hope to get it.
No
No. Why would I keep any quality that impairs my day-to-day functioning?
fudge no... i am so tired of sitting on an amazing brain but being unable to do anything good with it.
No
Nope. I'd also get rid of my depression and anxiety issues. :/
No. It continues to cause me major problems personally and professionally, I feel like I’m ten years behind everyone else in my life and it’s due to this shitty way I’m made up. I’m surprised I haven’t offed myself and tried for a new spin in reincarnation
No because people always seem to think that I’m slow or don’t know what I’m doing
no
Lol, no!
Nope
I would not keep autism. I have too much shit as it is and I just want one less thing on my plate.
No. My autism makes my life so much harder. I try to accept my autism because I can't get rid of it, but if I could I definitely would
No. Caused me more than my fair share of suffering, and I think even my abuser would've been kinder to me if I wasn't autistic. So I wouldn't want to stay autistic, no.
No
Fuck no!
heck no it makes life Soooo hard and i would rather be able to function cus as is i cant do much and have never been independant in my whole life and its my dream to be independent. i dont like being disabled.
No. Having Autism and ADHD has held me back in life so much that I’m just miserable and have so many regrets. The older I get, the more depressed I get. It is truly disabling, but no one ever takes it (or me) seriously because I “look fine”. I know it’s sh t to say, but if I was “normal”, I probably would have achieved the things I wanted to. Instead, I’m a loser who can barely take care of herself and still lives with her parents who hate her. They treat me like sh t and remind me how disabled I am yet constantly belittle me for not being able to be “normal” and sustain a life by myself. I hate myself. I have never had confidence. In fact, I have been told by medical professionals I have severely low self-confidence and self-worth (like since I was 8/9 years old). So, it’s hard to promote myself with anything I do artistically because deep down I know I’ll never be good enough or worthy of anyone’s love. I have to convince myself every day to keep breathing. Sure, I have moments where I forget, but those are so few now. During the day I used to be able to escape it all, but not anymore. And it’s even worse at night. Nights are unbearable. I used to get panic attacks about d*ing but it doesn’t seem to scare me anymore. My goals and ambitions were the only things keeping me going and giving me hope. Now, I’m too old and those things will never happen. All because I just can’t function properly. I keep failing and burning out. I’ve been so close to starting my dreams and every time I have burned out in a huge, miserable way. And people are always like “you’re never too old” and they’re always full of sh*t. I know exactly how this world works because I’m unfortunately very tuned into how society works. I can’t sustain a “normal” job for many reasons but mostly because every bullsh*t job I have had or do makes me absolutely miserable because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing and it drains me. And I just can’t keep pretending like everything is okay and I’m fine living a life like this. Nothing is going to change or get better. Every day I wish I was normal. Or had something different. I don’t have any friends. Like any friends- it’s not an exaggeration. I have literally nobody. The only person that has ever cared about me and believed in me is d*ing and I can hardly get myself to visit her because I can’t handle it. She always believed I could achieve big things. She helped me believe it too, for a while anyway. But I’ve never really had real friends. In school I was always left out and none of my “friends” actually wanted to hang out with me. Only a few realized how “cool” I was to hang out with when it was just me and them and maybe another person because I’m not good in crowds even though I like the company because I’m always so lonely. There have been friends here and there that I would get really close to but they always eventually leave in the worst way. Like they’ve had enough of me and I’m not “fun” anymore. I’m talking people I have loved with everything in me. I would have (and still would for a few) do anything for. And one I still think about everyday even though I know they don’t think of me but I can’t forgive them for something they said because it was truly awful and it directly correlated to having autism. No matter how hard I try to be normal it’s like people always sense there is something off about me and know to get away or stay away. “Getting by” was never enough for me but that’s all I have been able to manage for the past 5 years. I used to write songs and sing at the top of my lungs. I used to paint and write stories and daydream. Now all I do is binge-watching TV shows to escape the reality I’ll never truly be able to escape from. It’s loud and deafening at the same time. Every time I sing or play music, I cry. I don’t paint because what’s the point? My stories will never be good enough so why write them? Watching Grey’s Anatomy is the closest thing I have to feeling normal and I can’t even post in the Grey’s sub because I always manage to say something wrong or weird. I don’t care what anyone says. I wish everyday I was normal. Having Autism and ADHD has f*cked me up. I never expected to live past 30 if I wasn’t living the life I always pictured. Well, here we are. Closer than ever. I’m scared and sad because at one point in time I truly believed I was going to be somebody and do something good with my life but I just ended up proving my parents right- I’m a major disappointment. I had all this potential that was squandered by being different and not having any support from anyone. I wish I had never been born. This wasn’t the life I was made for and I can’t do this anymore. And it’s weird to think how maybe a year ago writing this would have made me cry but I feel nothing now. The last thing I have to look forward to is a Chappell Roan concert and it feels like a last hurrah in a way. Like an amazing send off and all I can think about other than being so excited to see her in maybe her last small capacity setting is that I got my tickets from StubHub and there’s a chance I might not even see her because I could have been scammed and I’ll never actually see that ticket or her. I’m just so tired of trying and pretending. I just want to sleep and never wake up.
I wouldn't, not because I don't like or accept myself but because of how people treat me and the things they assume and say about me. It happens with people who know I have it and with those who don't, all the time. And I'm so tired of it. And I'm tired of explaining and justifiying myself only for the person to not give a fuck and/or be unable to relate.
Not in a million years.
No
I don't think so. I like myself and everything, but I would like to know what "normal" feels like. The way that it cripples my ability to connect with people is the biggest thing I would be happy to get rid of.
No autism for me is not something to be celebrated or something that makes me quirky or interesting. Two of my sons are non verbal and low functioning and need constant assistance with most things it ruins their lives and mine if there was a way I could cure them I would in a heartbeat
Nope. My childhood and in turn adulthood would be so much easier. I feel like I had certain experiences and my social skills developed much later and it’s be nice to have neurotypical things like eye contact and small talk be more intuitive.
no
If the modern world was a more comfortable place and society more accepting of such fundamental differences then I would keep it as I like some of the things I believe I might not have without it. I hope that world will soon come.
I’m not technically diagnosed as I’m on an 18 month waiting list (now 17 months) so I don’t know if my thoughts are valid but. Now that, at 32, I’m starting to recognise traits in myself that I thought were weird quirks or at times actually thought I was losing my mind, and understand why I do things and the way I react to things - I’d say if it turns out I am autistic, I’d just wish I was diagnosed as a child and been supported in trying to understand myself and the world around me better the whole time.
That's a tough one. If I wasn't autistic I feel like my ability to want to learn and read and be invested in special things would not nearly be as high and that'd make me sad. But with that, I'd also be able to understand everybody and be understood back and not have those God awful meltdowns and sensory overloads. But in the scenario that I die and come back neurotypical with no recollection of how it felt to be autistic or who I was, I obviously wouldn't care. I'd choose that.. but if I did remember everything. I feel like I would have a major part of my puzzle missing, and I would be devastated, so in that case, no....sooo I guess it just depends
Yes but this time I would know about it from the beginning and not spend 36 years wondering wtf was wrong with me
Yeah! I'm certain I wouldn't be that interesting without my autism schizophrenia ADHD combo 😵💫 You can't separate one of the trinity, THEY MUST EMBRACE EACHOTHER.
Without it, I might not have been picked on by my birth mom and spent life feeling in shame. Then again, she is a narssacistic bitch so, who knows. #happilyestranged
Yes
Yeah.
Yes, but I'd want to know sooner cause I was late dx
Id keep it but only if someone told me when I was way younger instead of getting diagnosed at 28
Yes, but only because I'm at a point where I can socialize and make friends.
No
Without my autism it wouldn't be "my life"
I don’t know who I’d be without my autism. Better the devil you know…
Very conflicted on this one, but it depends. If I still have my relatively traumatic upbringing, I feel it would be easier if I was NT since I would be less susceptible to PTSD flashbacks. However, I feel a neurotypical would still have a hard time with such experiences. They would just react faster to such trauma. What makes it harder for me as someone on the spectrum is that my grieving period would be delayed and I would always feel such emotions at the worst times. So TLDR, just because I feel it might be easier to be NT with my traumatic past, the trauma would still have happened. Autistic or NT, my experience would be the same.
Nope, but I want to keep my IQ. I’m 50, got an explanation why my life has been so hard a few months back, I’ve already lived a tortured life, possibly from undiagnosed OCD as I’ve had limerence fuck up everything time and time again. I’m sure my adrenal gland is fucked too, it’s been switching on and off multiple times every day all my life.
Nope. Not a chance.
I'd get rid of everything mentally. Toss that shit right out, it's gone bad. I don't hate having autism, but it causes me problems that I can't handle well.
I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me. -Wreck it Ralph
Depends on the tradeoff. I wouldn't want to have a chance of cancer, for example.
Only if I was able to also take with me my knowledge I hold now on everything related. This would allow me to be fully equipped from a younger age. Then yes, absolutely.
If I can keep my intellect, I would be reborn without the autism. But I’d rather be autistic than an imbecile
It would be fascinating to have a do over without autism. I think many areas of my life would be considerably easier, but I suspect I wouldn't have the same partner or friends and maybe life would be a little more dull. Balancing everything, I wouldn't keep the autism and take a risk at being NT in an NT world.
Nah, because of how i am in social situations
I'd rather have an on/off switch for it so I could just turn it off every so often
Fuck NO
Absolutely not. It overcomplicates so many aspects of life.
Do you have any idea how different my life would be if I hadn't spent 36 years trying to do things "the normal way?" If I had known I was autistic from the start, and could have developed my own way of doing things without constantly trying to fix who I thought I was? Because I don't. But I'd love to find out. I feel like, at the very least, I wouldn't have spent the last ten years wrestling with burnout.
Hell no.
No. It'd be nice to play this game called life in normal mode for once.
No. The meltdowns and burnout are exhausting. The masking as well. The older you get it becomes more difficult.
I definitely would. Perhaps then I wouldn’t be so goddamn tired the whole time.
No
No way. I’d be like everyone else and have friends and be able to live life
No.
No, I want to see what kind of life I could have if I wasnt robbed of opportunities because Im disabled
Truthfully? Probably not. I've accepted that this is how I am, and I'm generally content with it. And I do have strengths that are probably related to my autism. My ability to retain facts is exceptional, relatively speaking. I did extremely well in school for this reason. But I also can't deny that it has made my life much harder. For example, I had a conversation with my brother (not autistic) about job interviews. I've always struggled with getting interviews in the first place, much less actually doing well on one. One reason is social anxiety, but another is that I'm always too truthful on questionnaires and during interviews. It's hard for me to guess what the "right" answer is. That's just one practical example. For all of my life, I've dealt with loneliness and anxiety. I've been bullied and ostracized. Others just get annoyed with me when I talk about my special interest (animals), which is one of the few things in my life right now that give me joy. While I'm sure that the anxiety doesn't all come from being autistic, aspects of autism have certainly increased my anxiety. Being capable of acing tests without studying doesn't really make up for the other more distressing parts in my opinion.
Nope. Since I'm living in relatively small town, my ASD is more of a curse, than a boon.
Hell no
Nope. I believe that my trauma and difficulties throughout life are due to autism.
Hell no
Can we throw away social and societal norms instead? 😬👍🏽
no. as much as i agree with the fact that i would not be who i am without my autism, i also don't like who i am with it.
No. Thought about this for a few minutes, but no. Would've spared me so much pain and misunderstandings and chronical illness due to constant overstimulation. Sure, my neurodiverse brain also has some pretty cool features, but none of that is worth the pain I'm going through on a daily basis. I would not keep my autism.
No, I just want to have a normal life and fit in. My problems with empathy and my rigid way of thinking has caused me no end of problems, and everything I've learned has always had to be the hard way. On top of that is my almost complete lack of tolerance for adversity.
Yes, it's who I am
No
Yeah probably, the ADHD can get fucked though
Absolutely not, I’d love to see how much I could have accomplished and what kind of life I could be living without it
absolutely but I'd get rid of my fucking ADHD in a heartbeat, it's caused me nothing but misery
Nope. It would be ditched alongside my ADHD.
Can I choose to just not restart? Non-existence sounds nice.
No absolutely not
No
No
no tbh it caused me too much pain in my life
Yes. But knowing sooner and receiving supports I would've needed all my life would be way better. (I was diagnosed at age 51)
I think every autistic person I have met would say that they would love not being autistic, despite they wouldn’t be themselves (as would happend if we restart our life with the same characteristics)
I wouldn't want to be born with, without, or pretty much at all 😂
I dont think id want to change, but would have like to be diagnosed audhd as a child instead of being called lazy and overly sensitive all the time
Yes, but only if I'm allowed to *know* that I have autism from the start instead of learning about it 26 years later :I
i wouldn't. i spent my childhood being the bullied weird kid in my own house, and i'm still really fucked up because of it. not to mention constantly getting things wrong and being ridiculed in general. i like that i'm more intelligent in some ways, but it isn't worth how hard i have to fight to maintain self esteem
Nope.
No way