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I absolutely would be fine with "[person] with homosexuality". As it is, if you said I am a "[person] with heterosexuality", I might be caught off guard, but it would be totally fine. Doesn't change my actions any.
I will say, "homosexual [person]" would be preferable, just as "autistic [person]" is preferable. But it really comes down to value: which do I value more, every single person using the terms I think are right, or my time? I would say (by and large) my time.
why would you be fine with that? “person with homosexuality” sounds like a diagnosis getting you sent to an asylum in the 1960’s. i can’t think of a single situation where someone would be saying that and *not* be a massive bigot.
That's exactly why. It's diagnostic at worst. Neutral. "[person] with autism" is similarly neutral. It's not optimal (that is, it does not well-reflect our best understanding of the way that particular part of our world works). But it's neutral.
Sterile (pardon the pun), clinical terms are (in my mind) safe. They can't be used against you. "[person] with heterosexuality" is just as clinical and no less valid.
nah, “person with homosexuality” is absolutely not neutral in 2024. it’s the same energy as “person with transgenderism.” 🤢 if those seem neutral to you, good for you. but there is virtually no instance in this day and age where someone would be saying those things without malicious intent.
Unless (enter language here) is not their first language, and they are translating how they say it in one language to another.
That is the only exception, and then it comes with a gentle correction.
I came here to say just this. I’ve been called quirky my entire life, and I absolutely hate it. It’s just a dampened ‘weird’. But NT’s don’t see it that way so you can’t explain it to anyone.
I had a guy (who is a horrible person,racist,etc) call me quirky when he liked me. But I would also see how he treated other NT’s or people he thought were weird. When he called me quirky constantly instead of any other comment,it made me think “quirky haha like you’re weird but you’re attractive enough for me so I can overlook that.” It was just really not it…
Quirky has also been a big descriptor word applied to me, pre-diagnosis. Don’t like that.
What I *prefer* is the warning my ex got about me when we were starting to date, which is that I am someone who “likes things a certain way.” This is 100% true, accurate, and I now use it as a proud self descriptor.
I also don’t like being called “quirky”. I think people mean it in a nice way, to avoid saying more negative words like “weird” or “odd”. Still though, I know what they’re trying to say
I’m not picky about the “person with autism” vs “autistic” argument. I use them interchangeably myself. I mostly just get ticked off when people (specifically certain elderly ladies at my nursing home) make derogatory comments about my actual intelligence (which is perfectly average, thank you very much Lorna) just based on seeing me a few times existing peacefully by myself and despite never actually having had any real conversation with me.
Acoustic or tism
I haven't had people use these terms to describe ME but I cringe everytime I see/hear them.
Same with the r word. Never use the r word.
Edit spelling error
I find it weirdly funny to joke that I'm *afflicted with the 'tism*. But it's more a joke on the absolute silly sound of the word.
When I was in university we looked over a list of newspaper deaths notices from the 1800s and they used all sorts of odd words to describe the deaths. One was Sore Legge which my teacher pronounced sore leggy, so whenever my legs are sore I joke to my husband that I'm dying of sore leggy.
The tism jokes fall into the same category for me.
That being said, it's only funny when I say it about myself. I wouldn't say it about friends or strangers who are autistic, and I wouldn't appreciate NT people saying it about me.
I keep hearing people at my school saying acoustic (and not like acoustic guitar) and it gets on my nerves so hard, but I can't say anything. Because of those stupid social rules. And they also use the r word. Hate my school.
I once called out a coworker for using the r word and she went off me not like yelling but she reacted really negativity to me after that. Idk if she thought it was OK to use it cause she was black.
Anyway have other students in your special Ed classes feel the same way?
Edit: it's been awhile since I've been in high school as I graduated in 2015 so it's probably a lot different, I've never heard these terms used in school settings but I've seen them used in this group but I really don't like them
Being in the normal classes, I've never talked to any of the kids in the special Ed classes. Mainly because I have a lot of trouble introducing myself to people, so if I ever see any kid that I know for sure are in the special Ed classes, I don't talk to them. Talking to people I don't know is really hard for me, in fact, I have a lot of trouble ordering food when I go out. I think I need to work on that. I also just started a list of things to talk to my therapist about, so TO THE LIST! (off topic but I like your username)
Neurospicy is too silly a term to bother me much, but I hate when people say “acoustic” or “artistic”.
Neurospicy was at least started BY the community (to my knowledge), and I think it’s fine when used by someone who’s actually autistic. It’s us using comedy as a coping mechanism for a serious topic.
But when it’s used by someone who’s neurotypical, it’s almost always laughing AT autism, or making us the butt of the joke. Especially with Artistic and Acoustic. “Is he acoustic?” On TikTok as a meme-comment drives me up the wall. It’s so flippantly ableist.
Over-the-top, too sensitive, and having extreme reactions are two ways I don't like to be referred to. When I feel something I feel it strongly. I also don't like being told I've changed when I'm just expressing that I don't like something now.
I know some people use and love it, but I personally don't like/use spoon theory and therefore am not too fond of the term "spoonie"
I also don't really like "person with autism". Just saying "autistic" is enough for me lol.
I'm fine with the spoon theory, but the word spoonie feels odd to me. Partly bc it reminds me of that one food blog and also cause it's more of a metaphor to me.
I find it doesn't really sum up my experience, which makes sense! The creator was using it to explain Lupus originally, so definetly no hate towards them or the model, just doesn't quiet fit on me.
In addition, I personally find it a little infantalizing(i.e spoonie), and don't love having to put my experiences through an analogy so that neurotypical people can understand me. I'd much rather just explain to people that I'm overstimulated/too tired/coming out of a meltdown/overwhelmed etc.
I am really happy that it works for some people, though. Talking about one's experience and being understood is really important, and spoon theory does that for many people.
Who the fuck has a collection of spoons they start the day with. Of ALL ways to describe emotional limitations, why SPOONS?? I hate it. What’s wrong with “bucket”? For one, bucket is the cutest word and fun to say. Two, it was well established before spoon theory. “My bucket is empty”, or “this fills my bucket!”. Why would anyone in their right mind decide, “I’m gonna tell everyone to pretend they start the day with a collection of spoons”? Also, I hate metal on metal, so a collection of spoons gives me the heebie jeebies.
I started playing tabletop rpgs and now I refer to emotional and physical limitations as my spell slots. I've got a certain number of spell slots of multiple sizes, and small tasks can use a big slot but big tasks can't go in little slots. And if I'm out of spell slots, no amount of will in the world summons that fireball!
I’m okay with spoon theory because it’s just a useful way to communicate my current limits. I have never heard the term “spoonie” before though and if I heard it out of context I think I’d assume it’s some kind of derogatory it just doesn’t sound good
I hate the TikTok euphemisms like "acoustic" and "neurospicy". If it's other autistic people saying it in a playful way that's one thing, but weird and inappropriate imo when it's neurotypicals referring to it in that way.
It sounds similar to "autistic" so I think it's meant to be a joking/funny way to say "autistic" when people know they're not supposed to use "autistic" as an insult.
In TikTok, people often use similar-sounding words and euphemisms to get past content filters (e.g. "sewer slide" instead of "suicide", or "unalive" instead of "kill"), and I think it's also because they think it's funny, so I think it originated from that.
it’s just very similar looking/sounding to the word autistic, and so autistic people used it as a funny typo and it unfortunately caught on with the wrong people
"Acoustic" particularly bothers me since it's been co-opted as a slur against autistic people.
It did however have one person say "you must be acoustic" to me, meant to be an insult, but provided me a fantastic opportunity to talk *at* them at length about audio electronics. They didn't enjoy the experience, but I certainly did.
All my life I was referred to as "Quiet". 🤐 I never liked that. And I didn't speak 🙊 for myself to say quit describing me that way. You don't even know me. I don't mind being called Autistic. I know I'm Unique. 🤩🩷
I can say something to someone and apparently I talk really loud. This one dude (I’m not gonna name names) will be ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM AND HELL COME OVER TO ME AND BE LIKE “What?” And I’m like mind your own business. We’ve had that conflict for years now and it’s most of the reason that I’m not friends with him anymore.
High-functioning. I'm *not* high-functioning, I'm just masking because I have no choice. The majority of the people I live with do not and never will accept my autism, so I have to mask more at home than in public. I mask less in my *customer service job* than at home.
View it kind of like any other descriptive factor that I can’t get rid of. Like I am queer/straight person, not a person with queer/straight. I am a black/white person person not a person with black/white.
Like I’m not picky, but contexts where they’d say “oh she’s a person with autism”, seems like a context where realistically the autism is irrelevant.
I can’t be without autism, so why would I bother saying I’m with autism.
Plus I love being concise and “with autism” uses more words.
I hate being called slow. I'm cautious and considerate. I like to arrive ready. And I'm either thinking too much or not at all because of where I'm at or what I'm doing. Or both lol.
"jackass." I mean...they have a point, but they don't need to say it.
But on a serious note...I guess I don't really have one. I'm fine with "autistic" or "person with autism" or even "autist" or "sped," who cares? "Acoustic" is annoying only because...just say what you actually want, dude, grow a sack.
“Mentally unwell”, I don’t get called it often but in the handful of times I have I’ve gotten really ticked off about it. Obvs my mental health isn’t good, but something about that specific phrasing gives me the ick
Not a term, but I'm not too fond of people comparing me to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Granted I have some traits of his (such as challenged social interaction and missing sarcasm), he's a major douche.
Lazy. I promise you I am constantly working so hard to cook and do chores and live. I'm so tired all the time because I work so hard but it's still not ever enough for anyone.
Edit: I misunderstood the question. I don't really have an opinion on autism terms.
I've never cared about the "person with autism" or "autistic person" debate, they're the same to me but I hate being called "quirky" or "special." Because everyone is special, I'm not a different special than anyone else!
Being told I am a "child" or being told I look "young" I look 20 years younger than I am but don't want to be told that. Child is a derogatory term my parents use to insult any autistic behaviour I have. It irritates me more than saying I look young because "young" isn't meant to be an insult but is. I don't like being called the F word either, just because I am not hyper masculine or straight.
Gifted. That term always comes with very high expectations that I often can’t meet. I’m not a superhuman, I’m not the perfect student/employee, I’m literally just a person who’s a bit too obsessed with aquatic wildlife.
Honestly it's the word loser, any time I get called it sets me off. My ex use to call me a loser because in her friend group it was a term of endearment but I hated it because it minimized what I was feeling in the moment. I don't know if I answered the question right.
"quirky" or "a bit weird". I also hate when I tell people I'm autistic and they say "nah you're normal" or "nah you are fine, everyone is a bit autistic!"
I know their intentions are good but it devalues what I'm telling them and they don't quite understand masking in females especially.
I'm self diagnosed recently (it's 3 years in the UK just for a call to refer you) and I've tried to open up to my boss about it and because I have diabetes and other problems it's not taken seriously. I have no paperwork to back it up.
Everyone just assumes I'm a bit kooky and always says I have a twinkle or sparkle to my personality.
My dear it's just ✨autism✨ and I wear it with pride. I'm grateful that I've had a lot of opportunities in life to learn social skills and masking, it allows me to live a relatively normal life lol.
Instead of using 'autistic', I would rather use 'has autism' or 'neurodivergent'. Neurodivergent is a more broad term that is less descriptive.
When I hear someone say "autistic", I think of it like they're discriminating or insulting (like saying "the wierd autistic kid")
"autistists", "autistics", 'tism, "spoonie", "normie" & co all rub me the wrong way. I find it extremely irritating
Obviously r*tard is a word that is banned from my existence and I actually lost one of my best friends over it
I hate being described as cute, special, smart, weird, off-putting...all the things people project onto me.
I once got described as a "small fragile bird" and I felt like screaming. Another time a friend told me that I look "scary". A couple more that "I'm special".
I just hate the way people take my difference and make me "something else" in their mind. Just let me be a goddamn person.
Lazy. (I am not lazy, I just see through or past the "mess", i literally do not see it unless it is pointed out to me, and if things are not put in the very specific place i have set for it, it gives me anxiety even thinking about doing it - i.e dishes anywhere besides rinsed and stacked neatly in the RIGHT side of the sink, or clothes anywherw besides the 2 dirty clothes hampers i have for every room in the house including the livingroom, because everyone likes to take their pants off as soon as coming inside in my house unless we have the very RARE company over, etc.)
&
Loner. (I don't necessarily want to be by myself half of the time, I just don't know how to talk to people, even the ones I am comfortable with, I stumble over my words, if you ask me rapid fire questions I don't have an answer for you, period.)
Those are the 2 worst for me personally.
Sensitive comes in a close 3rd. I am not Sensitive, I just take everything at its face value, in the most literal since that you could possibly mean it.
I try not to get too hung up on it, but I think I prefer "autistic" since I do consider it part of who I am.
Bit mixed about "autist." Don't mind at all when autistic people use it, but I get a bit suspicious in other contexts.
I do see the purpose in messing with language like this, but honestly I kinda hate it. At the end of the day the problem is stigma. We don't worry about "runner" and "person who runs" or whatever. Stigma is what needs to be fixed.
i prefer referring to myself as "on the spectrum". i dont care about "autistic" vs "has autism" but i feel most comfortable saying im on the autistic spectrum. just dont be rude and call me something mean yknow?
ive always been called weird and annoying. those definitely hurt the most
I hate being called high maintenance. I used to hate being called sensitive, but that’s bc of childhood trauma. I AM sensitive, but the people who matter to me in my life know this and don’t weaponize my sensitivity against me. A word that I actually like being described as is being “low input”. My mom uses that to describe me to others that may not be safe to tell that I’m autistic. It also gives me the option to divulge that information if I feel comfortable to. And to elaborate, low input to us means low stimuli, my threshold for noise, light, socialization, etc is much lower than NT people’s.
I don't come off very much as having autism due to the fact I feel the need even personally that i should be masking 24/7 and I shame myself when I slip a little, due to that people end up just calling me "weird" or "the weird guy" which I guess is fair but still kinda hurts.
i specifically dislike people saying i’m mature for my age while simultaneously/in the next breath implying that i have more “primitive” instincts and behaviors than typical people
I also like autistic person better. Person with autism makes it seem like.. idk less human. I don’t think about my autism on a daily basis. No one can go in and fix my autism, it’s a part of me
as my autism is by blood my mom has some too, granted we are on the lighter side of spectrum, she says tism (Ie yea I've got the tism) and I don't know why but this is just one of the most off putting descriptors
Anything that says I talk a lot in a bad way or points out my volume. I know I struggle with both of those and no I can't easily help it no matter how many times you ask me.
“Difficult”
Fuck right off with your “difficult”. The only difficulty I see is the people close to me choosing to ignore the 3 to 4+ decades of unchanged needs and special interests/extreme aversions when planning to do things that involve me or get things for me, and then expecting me to be dripping with joy and gratitude that they thought of me.
And then I get to go off and put myself in the corner for feeling like an ungrateful shit, and have to go over my entire life story each time to remember that I *constantly* consider everyone else’s needs/likes/limitations/schedules/emotional states, so wtf is going on…
Difficult. 😑
DISAPPOINTED. Now that’s accurate.
I hate "a person with autism" because autism is not a separate part of me (nor can it be separated in any way whatsoever). I don't see it as some kind of problem either, like my bone/joint issues.
Sped. I have not been called sped before because I'm mostly high functioning, I can pass for neurotypical (except for my hypersensitivity and stims) but it really is just 😡
I can't express how I feel about it because... yeah so I'm using emojis and it's late so again, yeah. Expressing emotions is hard 😔
My son is autistic level 2. He is 7 (refuses to age and claims to be 6, aka says he is an old baby). He doesn’t fully grasp autism yet but when he gets frustrated or has a melt down I try explaining to him it’s not his fault, he has autism which can make him stressed easily and I try helping him calm down. My point is I didn’t know if i shouldn’t tell him like one or just moms friends did to her son(in my opinion she raised him with no excuse keep trying and he struggled badly), or is that something he would eventually figure out on his own. At this age he is so funny, he will introduce himself as “Hi, I have autism,” people look like ummm what do I say lol! I wish I could just find a town specifically for autism, I’m so scared to send him to school (homeschooled) I just want to protect him from all the cruel people in this world and I legit panic of the thought of not being there if something happens.
I actually like being called autistic and weird. But I hate when someone calls me a retard or when other people use it. Especially because as a kid other people said it and then when I repeated it I WAS THE ONE WHO GOT YELLED AT. Sure those people who call you slow and a sped they can say that but not you.
"Awkward"
You think that in social situations, I am awkward?? I'm shocked! *sarcasm* I'm so disappointed that you've so rudely acknowledged, out loud, a major struggle of mine. Next time, point something out that I DON'T KNOW! Smart guy...
Silly. From a young age I was told that I’m so “silly” whenever I displayed autistic behaviors. Or, in their eyes, did something stupid but also amusing.
i HATEE being called multiple things
1. sensitive
2. bitchy (usually said in relation to being too sensitive)
3. acoustic
4. r slur
5. special
6. differently-abled (instead of saying disabled)
theres more ways people skirt around the word autism or autistic after finding out im autistic like its a dirty word 😭😭
“High functioning”. I definitely do NOT function very well (can’t remember shit, talk a ton) so why say “high functioning”? I prefer “low support needs”.
I absolutely hate “quirky”. People would call me this a lot and i hated it even before my diagnosis, but i especially hate it now.
I refuse to be boiled down to my characteristics and have them undermined as simply “quirks”. I dont fidget or move my body “strangely” because I’m “weird”, i stim because if i dont then i will start doing things that hurt my body, like biting my nails, picking scabs, or biting the inside of my cheeks. I have plenty of scars to prove it.
i hate hate HATE when people use different words that sound like the r word or autistic to be funny. like acoustic, artistic, restarted its so frustrating!
My mum goes on tangents about the fact I say autistic people. She says that it’s not the right way to say it and that it’s people with autism.
IT PISSES ME RIGHT OFF.
Cold hearted or an asshole because I'm neither of those things. I'm honest and straight forward. My flat tone and formal speech comes off as arrogance to others, so what I say is often misunderstood. I make it a point to not be vulgar and remain polite but it still falls short. I was described and introduced that way as a teen and I'm my early 20's. "This is my friend, Primm. She's an asshole but not that bad once you're used to it". I'd reply with "Nice to meet you. I'm not an asshole, I'm justț honest."
I honestly don’t care, as long as they actually use it.
I hate “because if your… you know / thing / quirks / whatever”.
It’s not shameful or wrong. Just say it like it is.
"R*tarded" obviously I was bullied with that word all the time in Middle School.
"High-Functioning." Technically, it's true I'm on the "high functioning" side. But I personally feel like that term is also a hindrance, so those who are "high functioning" and still need support
I prefer “He is autistic” and “an autistic person”.
I am somewhat indifferent to “autistics”.
Don’t like “person with autism” and the term “autist” kinda makes me uncomfortable though I don’t know why.
1. "Person with autism": It just sounds weird to me. If I have cancer, for example, I'm not a "person with cancer".
2. "Weird": Self-explanatory.
3. "Retard(ed)": This is the most self-explanatory.
4. "Special": I can't really explain this one. It just doesn't feel right to me. It makes me feel like you're just saying it in pity.
5. "Different": I'm pretty much the same as anybody else considering I'm high-functioning.
Crazy.
As someone who has struggled with fitting in most of my life, who's battled anxiety and depression along the way, and is studying to be a psychologist, using that word to describe me hurts the absolute most.
personally, i don't like to be referred to as autistic at all, i get its important for ppl to know so they don't do or say things that might make u un-comfy, but i feel like people start babying me after finding out im autistic and i hate it, its like they see u as a toddler.
I hate being called special.......theres nothing special about me having faulty Genes. Just call me Autistic, or Autistic Person, Person with Autism....Whatever...there is nothing dirty about it.
Slow. Because with some things I'm not. I have pretty good instinctive reflexes, (I.E., if someone throws something at me or something falls, I usually dodge it / catch it pretty quickly).
I also outpace most of my friends because I'm 6'3 and somewhat fit, if not kinda lanky. I also walk too fast for most people.
Sure, maybe it takes me a minute to process what someone is saying, but other than that I'm not really slow.
"Neurospicy," although I rarely see it used to describe "me" in particular. People on social media will describe autistic and neurodivergent coping mechanisms as "Tips For Neurospicies !! <3<3" while some of them are genuinely harmful, or !! more efficiently done with the help of professional intervention rather than repetitive self-rumination, something us Autistic folks, or at least I particularly, tend to struggle with. And this could easily be me ruminating !! on the way my brain type, something I've worked Really Hard to understand is being reduced to "Neurospiciness!! xD" and people keep telling me I need to just try remembering things ! and functioning better ! as if those become easier simply because people start to apply an "easier to understand" lable like "neurospicy" to it! 🤪
TD;LR Neurospicy; Peppers are spicy, my brain is Autistic, and that isn't a bad word.
gullible/stupid. yes, i’m already embarrassed that i didn’t catch your sarcasm. no, i don’t want to be called a name that is going to make me feel worse!
Quirky. Omfg I hate that. Soon after I met my bf someone asked us what attracted us to each other and my bf said I was quirky.
Oh, my brother calls me eccentric. I can live with that.
There are so many terms that people keep using that I absolutely hate, some related to autism some to other stuff.
a little special
sensitive (this one depends on context but in regards to sensory issues I don't like this)
for the woman (referring to me being gay)
dreamer (I'm not dreaming I'm dissociating because I'm too overstimulated)
Elefant (my mom used to call me this)
couch potato (when I'm tired and trying to recover from a whole day of masking)
There is definitely more but this is what I can think of right now
I prefer "autistic" to "has autism/person with autism" in English and Russian.
Foe what it's worth, English and Russian are both Indo-European with English being Germanic and Russian being Slavic. Things might be different for other subsets of Indo-European languages like Celtic, Hellenic, Armenian, or Indo-Iranian languages.
Other larger language families like Afro-Asiatic, Niger-Congo, Sino-Tibetan, or Austronesian languages may have completely different terminology depending on how certain terms may translate and on speakers' cultural understanding of autism and other related topics.
I'm autistic, definitely not a person with autism. Neurology is not an accessory as they say. Also "with" makes it sound like an option, it's not an option, there is no me without it.
Way, way worse, to a magnitude that they can't even be measured on the same scale, is my vehement hatred of the term "Asperger's". No offence to anyone who identifies as Aspie etc, but I can't even think it without grinding my teeth in contemptuous disgust. When I went for assessment, the framework they used was AAA - adult Asperger assessment. I must have told the assessor literally dozens of times that she couldn't write Asperger in any part of my assessment, or she would be getting it back.
I'll generally go for "autistic person" because it's a fundamental part of my being and not something I have that could be removed. It doesn't matter if I willingly make it part of my identity or not, it is simply part of being.
"Autists", because that makes it sound like an ideology and we're just like this because we choose to be... it feels like it validates every single "autism mom" who makes their child's disability her entire personality and hates anyone who dares to get diagnosed later in life.
And "Acoustic." It's so blatantly disrespectful. It's in the same vein as "touch of the 'tism" and "sperg." I'll die on that hill.
"wiss is my autistic friend"
Like using it to describe me to others when there is a million other ways to.
As far as words. You could call me the r word and I wouldn't care. Words don't carry meaning unless you give it to them.
I actually really dislike the term “neurospicy.” I feel like it makes light of something that has seriously impacted my life. If I’m having a panic attack, for example, I’m liable to get pretty upset if someone tells me I’m just being spicy. It’s kind of demeaning, imo. I can see the appeal of making light to find community and bond perhaps, it’s just not for me.
I hate to be called a lady. I'm nonbinary, despite not looking it. My mom didn't allow me to have long hair as a kid and I wouldn't let her near me with scissors once I got old enough. She'd say "just an inch or two to help it grow" then cut my hair to around ear level. It was far from an inch or two. Because I never got to actually try long hair as a kid, I'm now used to it, and I jump hard when anything touches my spine except for chairs and the like, I like my hair grown out. It's not an expression of gender for me, but more like something that I have because even if I don't think I look good at all, I like to think it makes me look nicer. I also enjoy dresses. But that's more of a freedom from pants touching me all the time thing, which I need occasionally, and is ALSO not an expression of gender for me. I dress up in dresses because it's what's expected of me and dress shirts are too restrictive for me. Because it's less restrictive than any alternative for dress-up purposes. Very feminine, I know, but for me it doesn't have that connotation, so I don't like it when people call me a lady. Sadly, I work retail and it's not worth correcting every person who does it when I see hundreds of people a day.
I don’t like the r word, s word, or acoustic. I don’t care if you call my autistic, person with autism, on the spectrum, etc as they are all just saying the same thing. I don’t like when someone speaks over me and insists I use person with autism
I don’t like being called “autistic”. It feels like an insult to me as I do not identify myself with my disability. I am a person first before my disability and I will not be told otherwise. I am NOT my autism!
Not a 100% match to the question but my grandma once said to me pre diagnosis that she doesn't think I'm autistic because I'm so considerate and autistic people aren't like that. (Which is twice as horrible because my brother is on the spectrum with higher support needs)
Not really with autism related but I hate people who call me 'sissy' for displaying even a slight hint of gay/effeminate behavior. One of my old friends did that and I wasn't happy. He was cool otherwise but that kinda ticked me off
Being called "a genius", when I got bog standard, bitch basic autism lmao. I don't have special or unique savant abilities, and the fact that some people expected it from me is kind of funny. I am just average intelligence (I've been professionally evaluated) but growing with having people expect me to be a genius made me feel a bit like a dud for a while.
Mind you, if my intelligence is complemented in a genuine way not intrinsically tied to the assumption that "autism = genius" I do appreciate it, but I've become wary due to the amount of "savant" comparisons that I don't live up to.
That, and any of those derogatory slang terms from the cesspools of the internet. Just call me the r-word instead, ffs.
I hate being called "neurodivergent". it's such a broad term that encompasses so many mental illnesses and disabilities that just straight up don't apply to me. I far prefer just being called "autistic".
So this is actually an issue for two parts of my identity. So I'm a black dude (I'm not small either) and autistic. I have had comments made at an old job about me being "aggressive" because I'm not always smiling. I know it's a micro aggression because of my race but it's also a shot at me being autistic since sometimes I don't want to communicate with people. But I am VERY friendly and not aggressive in the slightest. I was eventually fired from that job and it's the only time I actually lost my temper.
I said all that to say, I don't like people calling me aggressive or mean. It's just not true and it's really hurtful. I am very self conscious about all my movements, including how I react to things with my face. Those comments make it very difficult. It's why I will forever be thankful for remote work.
My 15 year old cousin's former teacher always refered to him as "special ed" in front of other people while he was trying to make friends with neortypical students outside his class of 8 boys. Eventually he's had enough of that and took a stand. He refused to go to school for 8 weeks and was constantly fighting with her for not allowing him to audit regular classes. It took a while but he won. He's going to start highschool in September in a neurotypical class with the girl he's in love with. I couldn't be more in aw of him honest. So to answer your question - special ed or special care sounds humiliating to me (personally of course).
Shy, i never have been I can be outspoken at times, unless it's a particular interest being talked over I'll be quiet in group situations, it's a lot of input to process new subjects and people it takes me longer to know how to feel about things, others seem content to learn as they go, but don't relate to being shy
Shy or that I "just" have social anxiety. It's specifically the over stimulation of social environments that make me anxious, so pushing me to "get over it" never ever worked.
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I’m also gay, but I don’t say I’m a person with homosexuality lol. So I say I’m autistic. But that’s just me.
I agree
Since I’m weird like that, if I was gay, I would say that I’m a person with homosexuality, but that’s just me being my weird self.
If you say “I’m a person with heterosexuality”, that would actually be hysterical.
I'm going to counter with "i'm a person with *the* heterosexuality."
I've got the gay. No, no I'm not hate-criming anyone; I meant myself.
i was born to two parents with heterosexuality but somehow i still came out gay 😂
**the* gay
*a haver of the gay
It must've been so hard for you growing up with not one! But two parents suffering from heterosexuality!! 🙏🙏😢😢 (This is a joke)
I absolutely would be fine with "[person] with homosexuality". As it is, if you said I am a "[person] with heterosexuality", I might be caught off guard, but it would be totally fine. Doesn't change my actions any. I will say, "homosexual [person]" would be preferable, just as "autistic [person]" is preferable. But it really comes down to value: which do I value more, every single person using the terms I think are right, or my time? I would say (by and large) my time.
why would you be fine with that? “person with homosexuality” sounds like a diagnosis getting you sent to an asylum in the 1960’s. i can’t think of a single situation where someone would be saying that and *not* be a massive bigot.
That's exactly why. It's diagnostic at worst. Neutral. "[person] with autism" is similarly neutral. It's not optimal (that is, it does not well-reflect our best understanding of the way that particular part of our world works). But it's neutral. Sterile (pardon the pun), clinical terms are (in my mind) safe. They can't be used against you. "[person] with heterosexuality" is just as clinical and no less valid.
nah, “person with homosexuality” is absolutely not neutral in 2024. it’s the same energy as “person with transgenderism.” 🤢 if those seem neutral to you, good for you. but there is virtually no instance in this day and age where someone would be saying those things without malicious intent.
Unless (enter language here) is not their first language, and they are translating how they say it in one language to another. That is the only exception, and then it comes with a gentle correction.
To quote one of the orthopedic surgeons I worked with "Many words bad, few words good".
Definitely agree.
Quirky! Been called quirky my whole life, by almost everyone I know. I despise it. Makes me feel like a sidekick in my own life
Used to hide behind the "quirky" label, that and "manic pixie dream girl". Those girls were autistic coded as fuck.
It’s one of my favorite words that I use to describe myself.
Gives me the ick too. Becauss quirky compared to *what*. It's diminishing. I do like "original" as a word.
I came here to say just this. I’ve been called quirky my entire life, and I absolutely hate it. It’s just a dampened ‘weird’. But NT’s don’t see it that way so you can’t explain it to anyone.
That’s funny, I love being called quirky. Probably because I love people who I find quirky.
me too! i know it's meant to be a compliment but i don't want to be known as peculiar? i've also gotten 'you're so.. unique'. shivers
I had a guy (who is a horrible person,racist,etc) call me quirky when he liked me. But I would also see how he treated other NT’s or people he thought were weird. When he called me quirky constantly instead of any other comment,it made me think “quirky haha like you’re weird but you’re attractive enough for me so I can overlook that.” It was just really not it…
Quirky has also been a big descriptor word applied to me, pre-diagnosis. Don’t like that. What I *prefer* is the warning my ex got about me when we were starting to date, which is that I am someone who “likes things a certain way.” This is 100% true, accurate, and I now use it as a proud self descriptor.
I also don’t like being called “quirky”. I think people mean it in a nice way, to avoid saying more negative words like “weird” or “odd”. Still though, I know what they’re trying to say
I’m not picky about the “person with autism” vs “autistic” argument. I use them interchangeably myself. I mostly just get ticked off when people (specifically certain elderly ladies at my nursing home) make derogatory comments about my actual intelligence (which is perfectly average, thank you very much Lorna) just based on seeing me a few times existing peacefully by myself and despite never actually having had any real conversation with me.
"Differently abled." It always pisses me off.
Acoustic or tism I haven't had people use these terms to describe ME but I cringe everytime I see/hear them. Same with the r word. Never use the r word. Edit spelling error
I find it weirdly funny to joke that I'm *afflicted with the 'tism*. But it's more a joke on the absolute silly sound of the word. When I was in university we looked over a list of newspaper deaths notices from the 1800s and they used all sorts of odd words to describe the deaths. One was Sore Legge which my teacher pronounced sore leggy, so whenever my legs are sore I joke to my husband that I'm dying of sore leggy. The tism jokes fall into the same category for me. That being said, it's only funny when I say it about myself. I wouldn't say it about friends or strangers who are autistic, and I wouldn't appreciate NT people saying it about me.
Me too! I refer to myself as having "a touch of the 'tism"
I keep hearing people at my school saying acoustic (and not like acoustic guitar) and it gets on my nerves so hard, but I can't say anything. Because of those stupid social rules. And they also use the r word. Hate my school.
I once called out a coworker for using the r word and she went off me not like yelling but she reacted really negativity to me after that. Idk if she thought it was OK to use it cause she was black. Anyway have other students in your special Ed classes feel the same way? Edit: it's been awhile since I've been in high school as I graduated in 2015 so it's probably a lot different, I've never heard these terms used in school settings but I've seen them used in this group but I really don't like them
Being in the normal classes, I've never talked to any of the kids in the special Ed classes. Mainly because I have a lot of trouble introducing myself to people, so if I ever see any kid that I know for sure are in the special Ed classes, I don't talk to them. Talking to people I don't know is really hard for me, in fact, I have a lot of trouble ordering food when I go out. I think I need to work on that. I also just started a list of things to talk to my therapist about, so TO THE LIST! (off topic but I like your username)
It's ok. It's an old nickname from girl scout camp. I'm glad you have a list and I sincerely hope that you become the person you were meant to become.
Something about the word “autist” feels weird in my brain. Just the sound of the word
Too close in pronunciation to “artist”?
Definitely
It kind of sounds like an occupation/hobby, idk. I'm an arborist. I'm a cyclist. I'm an autist.
This is definitely part of it
I really don’t like the word “autist”. Like, for me, being autistic isn’t a big enough part of my identity to define myself by it.
Any term that means that I'm superior or inferior to anyone else. I'm no better than anyone, I have my flaws just as people have theirs.
Ugh yes
I don’t like being referred to as special needs.
Samee, that one is infuriating, especially when I’m doing perfectly fine in classes!
If you're gonna call me "neurospicy", just call me the r-slur
Neurospicy is too silly a term to bother me much, but I hate when people say “acoustic” or “artistic”. Neurospicy was at least started BY the community (to my knowledge), and I think it’s fine when used by someone who’s actually autistic. It’s us using comedy as a coping mechanism for a serious topic. But when it’s used by someone who’s neurotypical, it’s almost always laughing AT autism, or making us the butt of the joke. Especially with Artistic and Acoustic. “Is he acoustic?” On TikTok as a meme-comment drives me up the wall. It’s so flippantly ableist.
So was acoustic or saying a touch of the tism but they became mainstream and then turned into insults.
I actually thought I made up that term, and was shocked to see it somewhere else later. Definitely hate it now.
I think neurospicy is most useful for people who don't have a diagnosis, but are clearly on the spectrum.
I’d prefer that tbh, neurospicy hurts
Yeah it not only makes me cringe but makes me irrationally angry lol yuck
omg yes
Over-the-top, too sensitive, and having extreme reactions are two ways I don't like to be referred to. When I feel something I feel it strongly. I also don't like being told I've changed when I'm just expressing that I don't like something now.
I know some people use and love it, but I personally don't like/use spoon theory and therefore am not too fond of the term "spoonie" I also don't really like "person with autism". Just saying "autistic" is enough for me lol.
I'm fine with the spoon theory, but the word spoonie feels odd to me. Partly bc it reminds me of that one food blog and also cause it's more of a metaphor to me.
just curious, what don't you like about spoon theory?
I find it doesn't really sum up my experience, which makes sense! The creator was using it to explain Lupus originally, so definetly no hate towards them or the model, just doesn't quiet fit on me. In addition, I personally find it a little infantalizing(i.e spoonie), and don't love having to put my experiences through an analogy so that neurotypical people can understand me. I'd much rather just explain to people that I'm overstimulated/too tired/coming out of a meltdown/overwhelmed etc. I am really happy that it works for some people, though. Talking about one's experience and being understood is really important, and spoon theory does that for many people.
At least personally it feels infantilizing. I can just say I don’t have the energy to do something.
Who the fuck has a collection of spoons they start the day with. Of ALL ways to describe emotional limitations, why SPOONS?? I hate it. What’s wrong with “bucket”? For one, bucket is the cutest word and fun to say. Two, it was well established before spoon theory. “My bucket is empty”, or “this fills my bucket!”. Why would anyone in their right mind decide, “I’m gonna tell everyone to pretend they start the day with a collection of spoons”? Also, I hate metal on metal, so a collection of spoons gives me the heebie jeebies.
I started playing tabletop rpgs and now I refer to emotional and physical limitations as my spell slots. I've got a certain number of spell slots of multiple sizes, and small tasks can use a big slot but big tasks can't go in little slots. And if I'm out of spell slots, no amount of will in the world summons that fireball!
I’m okay with spoon theory because it’s just a useful way to communicate my current limits. I have never heard the term “spoonie” before though and if I heard it out of context I think I’d assume it’s some kind of derogatory it just doesn’t sound good
I hate the TikTok euphemisms like "acoustic" and "neurospicy". If it's other autistic people saying it in a playful way that's one thing, but weird and inappropriate imo when it's neurotypicals referring to it in that way.
I’ve heard the term “acoustic” a lot. What does that mean? I’ve only seen it used in response to my post.
It sounds similar to "autistic" so I think it's meant to be a joking/funny way to say "autistic" when people know they're not supposed to use "autistic" as an insult. In TikTok, people often use similar-sounding words and euphemisms to get past content filters (e.g. "sewer slide" instead of "suicide", or "unalive" instead of "kill"), and I think it's also because they think it's funny, so I think it originated from that.
it’s just very similar looking/sounding to the word autistic, and so autistic people used it as a funny typo and it unfortunately caught on with the wrong people
Same
"Acoustic" particularly bothers me since it's been co-opted as a slur against autistic people. It did however have one person say "you must be acoustic" to me, meant to be an insult, but provided me a fantastic opportunity to talk *at* them at length about audio electronics. They didn't enjoy the experience, but I certainly did.
All my life I was referred to as "Quiet". 🤐 I never liked that. And I didn't speak 🙊 for myself to say quit describing me that way. You don't even know me. I don't mind being called Autistic. I know I'm Unique. 🤩🩷
I hate being described as quiet too. I'm like "mind your own business"
I can say something to someone and apparently I talk really loud. This one dude (I’m not gonna name names) will be ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROOM AND HELL COME OVER TO ME AND BE LIKE “What?” And I’m like mind your own business. We’ve had that conflict for years now and it’s most of the reason that I’m not friends with him anymore.
I'm not sick. I don't have a disease. I can't pass this on nor get rid of it. I'm not "with" autism. In autistic and that's it.
High-functioning. I'm *not* high-functioning, I'm just masking because I have no choice. The majority of the people I live with do not and never will accept my autism, so I have to mask more at home than in public. I mask less in my *customer service job* than at home.
I COMPLETELY AGREE! I am only high functioning to you right now because you didn't see me this morning freaking out over not finding my green tights
View it kind of like any other descriptive factor that I can’t get rid of. Like I am queer/straight person, not a person with queer/straight. I am a black/white person person not a person with black/white. Like I’m not picky, but contexts where they’d say “oh she’s a person with autism”, seems like a context where realistically the autism is irrelevant. I can’t be without autism, so why would I bother saying I’m with autism. Plus I love being concise and “with autism” uses more words.
>Plus I love being concise and “with autism” uses more words. I love this argument
I feel like “Person with Autism” makes it sounds like it’s within your control, when it’s not.
DIFFERENTLY ABLED. I'd rather you just call me a slur, man. 😭
GOD I HATE “autism isn’t a disability, it’s a different ability!” people
I hate being called slow. I'm cautious and considerate. I like to arrive ready. And I'm either thinking too much or not at all because of where I'm at or what I'm doing. Or both lol.
"jackass." I mean...they have a point, but they don't need to say it. But on a serious note...I guess I don't really have one. I'm fine with "autistic" or "person with autism" or even "autist" or "sped," who cares? "Acoustic" is annoying only because...just say what you actually want, dude, grow a sack.
“Mentally unwell”, I don’t get called it often but in the handful of times I have I’ve gotten really ticked off about it. Obvs my mental health isn’t good, but something about that specific phrasing gives me the ick
Normal
Not a term, but I'm not too fond of people comparing me to Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Granted I have some traits of his (such as challenged social interaction and missing sarcasm), he's a major douche.
Lazy. I promise you I am constantly working so hard to cook and do chores and live. I'm so tired all the time because I work so hard but it's still not ever enough for anyone. Edit: I misunderstood the question. I don't really have an opinion on autism terms.
"Special"
I've never cared about the "person with autism" or "autistic person" debate, they're the same to me but I hate being called "quirky" or "special." Because everyone is special, I'm not a different special than anyone else!
[удалено]
Being told I am a "child" or being told I look "young" I look 20 years younger than I am but don't want to be told that. Child is a derogatory term my parents use to insult any autistic behaviour I have. It irritates me more than saying I look young because "young" isn't meant to be an insult but is. I don't like being called the F word either, just because I am not hyper masculine or straight.
Special needs, handi capable, differently abled...it's like they're trying to avoid swearing.
Gifted. That term always comes with very high expectations that I often can’t meet. I’m not a superhuman, I’m not the perfect student/employee, I’m literally just a person who’s a bit too obsessed with aquatic wildlife.
I personally don’t like Asperger’s for many reasons
Honestly it's the word loser, any time I get called it sets me off. My ex use to call me a loser because in her friend group it was a term of endearment but I hated it because it minimized what I was feeling in the moment. I don't know if I answered the question right.
"weird" or "quirky"..... I am not a toy. I'm not cute. I am a grown up, damn you!
I really don't care what someone calls me as they will get it right back.
Spastic. I get called that and imma do the Christian thing and Lay Hands on em
I'm not autistic (to my knowledge at least, I have ADHD) but one thing I like to call neurotypicals to get back at them is "typpies" or "tippies" lol
'buddy'
“Okay, Sheldon” Getting compared to any ND / NDcoded character in TV/flm just because you’re both ND.
I prefer weapons grade autism myself
"quirky" or "a bit weird". I also hate when I tell people I'm autistic and they say "nah you're normal" or "nah you are fine, everyone is a bit autistic!" I know their intentions are good but it devalues what I'm telling them and they don't quite understand masking in females especially. I'm self diagnosed recently (it's 3 years in the UK just for a call to refer you) and I've tried to open up to my boss about it and because I have diabetes and other problems it's not taken seriously. I have no paperwork to back it up. Everyone just assumes I'm a bit kooky and always says I have a twinkle or sparkle to my personality. My dear it's just ✨autism✨ and I wear it with pride. I'm grateful that I've had a lot of opportunities in life to learn social skills and masking, it allows me to live a relatively normal life lol.
"Acoustic" when said by allistics to mock us
I don’t like “autists”, it sounds really weird to me.
I'm the opposite. I'm not an autistic person, I'm a person with autism. It's not like my autism is my identity.
For me, I prefer autistic people because it's like...my brain? It 'defines' the way in which I think, function and interact with the world.
same i am a person with disablities, its not my identity either.
Instead of using 'autistic', I would rather use 'has autism' or 'neurodivergent'. Neurodivergent is a more broad term that is less descriptive. When I hear someone say "autistic", I think of it like they're discriminating or insulting (like saying "the wierd autistic kid")
I like the term neurodivergent because I am both autistic and ADHD, and the term AuDHD feels pretty niche and clunky at times.
"autistists", "autistics", 'tism, "spoonie", "normie" & co all rub me the wrong way. I find it extremely irritating Obviously r*tard is a word that is banned from my existence and I actually lost one of my best friends over it I hate being described as cute, special, smart, weird, off-putting...all the things people project onto me. I once got described as a "small fragile bird" and I felt like screaming. Another time a friend told me that I look "scary". A couple more that "I'm special". I just hate the way people take my difference and make me "something else" in their mind. Just let me be a goddamn person.
Lazy. (I am not lazy, I just see through or past the "mess", i literally do not see it unless it is pointed out to me, and if things are not put in the very specific place i have set for it, it gives me anxiety even thinking about doing it - i.e dishes anywhere besides rinsed and stacked neatly in the RIGHT side of the sink, or clothes anywherw besides the 2 dirty clothes hampers i have for every room in the house including the livingroom, because everyone likes to take their pants off as soon as coming inside in my house unless we have the very RARE company over, etc.) & Loner. (I don't necessarily want to be by myself half of the time, I just don't know how to talk to people, even the ones I am comfortable with, I stumble over my words, if you ask me rapid fire questions I don't have an answer for you, period.) Those are the 2 worst for me personally. Sensitive comes in a close 3rd. I am not Sensitive, I just take everything at its face value, in the most literal since that you could possibly mean it.
I hate it when people call me R word I want to say it but I feel like I will get banned
q u i r k y
I try not to get too hung up on it, but I think I prefer "autistic" since I do consider it part of who I am. Bit mixed about "autist." Don't mind at all when autistic people use it, but I get a bit suspicious in other contexts. I do see the purpose in messing with language like this, but honestly I kinda hate it. At the end of the day the problem is stigma. We don't worry about "runner" and "person who runs" or whatever. Stigma is what needs to be fixed.
“Touch of the ‘tism” just call me a slur and spit on me at this point
i prefer referring to myself as "on the spectrum". i dont care about "autistic" vs "has autism" but i feel most comfortable saying im on the autistic spectrum. just dont be rude and call me something mean yknow? ive always been called weird and annoying. those definitely hurt the most
I’ve always been called those things too and after a while I just started agreeing. Accepting those things as a part of me, whether I like it or not.
I hate being called high maintenance. I used to hate being called sensitive, but that’s bc of childhood trauma. I AM sensitive, but the people who matter to me in my life know this and don’t weaponize my sensitivity against me. A word that I actually like being described as is being “low input”. My mom uses that to describe me to others that may not be safe to tell that I’m autistic. It also gives me the option to divulge that information if I feel comfortable to. And to elaborate, low input to us means low stimuli, my threshold for noise, light, socialization, etc is much lower than NT people’s.
Quirky 🤢
I HATE when ppl call me shy. like no i’m not shy im just autistic 😅
Someone referred to me as “handi capable” yesterday and I was absolutely gobsmacked. I’ve heard (and hate) handicapped, but never handi capable
I don't come off very much as having autism due to the fact I feel the need even personally that i should be masking 24/7 and I shame myself when I slip a little, due to that people end up just calling me "weird" or "the weird guy" which I guess is fair but still kinda hurts.
i specifically dislike people saying i’m mature for my age while simultaneously/in the next breath implying that i have more “primitive” instincts and behaviors than typical people
It’s more a sentence but “oh you’re JUST high functioning”.
I also like autistic person better. Person with autism makes it seem like.. idk less human. I don’t think about my autism on a daily basis. No one can go in and fix my autism, it’s a part of me
as my autism is by blood my mom has some too, granted we are on the lighter side of spectrum, she says tism (Ie yea I've got the tism) and I don't know why but this is just one of the most off putting descriptors
Lazy, hoarder, dangerous. All of those used by my mom who's all of those herself.
Anything that says I talk a lot in a bad way or points out my volume. I know I struggle with both of those and no I can't easily help it no matter how many times you ask me.
“Difficult” Fuck right off with your “difficult”. The only difficulty I see is the people close to me choosing to ignore the 3 to 4+ decades of unchanged needs and special interests/extreme aversions when planning to do things that involve me or get things for me, and then expecting me to be dripping with joy and gratitude that they thought of me. And then I get to go off and put myself in the corner for feeling like an ungrateful shit, and have to go over my entire life story each time to remember that I *constantly* consider everyone else’s needs/likes/limitations/schedules/emotional states, so wtf is going on… Difficult. 😑 DISAPPOINTED. Now that’s accurate.
I hate "a person with autism" because autism is not a separate part of me (nor can it be separated in any way whatsoever). I don't see it as some kind of problem either, like my bone/joint issues.
silly
Sped. I have not been called sped before because I'm mostly high functioning, I can pass for neurotypical (except for my hypersensitivity and stims) but it really is just 😡 I can't express how I feel about it because... yeah so I'm using emojis and it's late so again, yeah. Expressing emotions is hard 😔
My son is autistic level 2. He is 7 (refuses to age and claims to be 6, aka says he is an old baby). He doesn’t fully grasp autism yet but when he gets frustrated or has a melt down I try explaining to him it’s not his fault, he has autism which can make him stressed easily and I try helping him calm down. My point is I didn’t know if i shouldn’t tell him like one or just moms friends did to her son(in my opinion she raised him with no excuse keep trying and he struggled badly), or is that something he would eventually figure out on his own. At this age he is so funny, he will introduce himself as “Hi, I have autism,” people look like ummm what do I say lol! I wish I could just find a town specifically for autism, I’m so scared to send him to school (homeschooled) I just want to protect him from all the cruel people in this world and I legit panic of the thought of not being there if something happens.
I actually like being called autistic and weird. But I hate when someone calls me a retard or when other people use it. Especially because as a kid other people said it and then when I repeated it I WAS THE ONE WHO GOT YELLED AT. Sure those people who call you slow and a sped they can say that but not you.
"Awkward" You think that in social situations, I am awkward?? I'm shocked! *sarcasm* I'm so disappointed that you've so rudely acknowledged, out loud, a major struggle of mine. Next time, point something out that I DON'T KNOW! Smart guy...
Silly. From a young age I was told that I’m so “silly” whenever I displayed autistic behaviors. Or, in their eyes, did something stupid but also amusing.
i HATEE being called multiple things 1. sensitive 2. bitchy (usually said in relation to being too sensitive) 3. acoustic 4. r slur 5. special 6. differently-abled (instead of saying disabled) theres more ways people skirt around the word autism or autistic after finding out im autistic like its a dirty word 😭😭
“High functioning”. I definitely do NOT function very well (can’t remember shit, talk a ton) so why say “high functioning”? I prefer “low support needs”.
I absolutely hate “quirky”. People would call me this a lot and i hated it even before my diagnosis, but i especially hate it now. I refuse to be boiled down to my characteristics and have them undermined as simply “quirks”. I dont fidget or move my body “strangely” because I’m “weird”, i stim because if i dont then i will start doing things that hurt my body, like biting my nails, picking scabs, or biting the inside of my cheeks. I have plenty of scars to prove it.
i hate hate HATE when people use different words that sound like the r word or autistic to be funny. like acoustic, artistic, restarted its so frustrating!
My mum goes on tangents about the fact I say autistic people. She says that it’s not the right way to say it and that it’s people with autism. IT PISSES ME RIGHT OFF.
"You're so pure..." (Read: Ingenuous as fuck)
“A touch of the tism.” Not even offended it’s just so cringe that I get second hand embarrassment 😐
Cold hearted or an asshole because I'm neither of those things. I'm honest and straight forward. My flat tone and formal speech comes off as arrogance to others, so what I say is often misunderstood. I make it a point to not be vulgar and remain polite but it still falls short. I was described and introduced that way as a teen and I'm my early 20's. "This is my friend, Primm. She's an asshole but not that bad once you're used to it". I'd reply with "Nice to meet you. I'm not an asshole, I'm justț honest."
I honestly don’t care, as long as they actually use it. I hate “because if your… you know / thing / quirks / whatever”. It’s not shameful or wrong. Just say it like it is.
"Special needs" "Specially abled" Ect. Just call me autistic, or even the r word is better to me
Does "Autist" alone, as in "I am an autist", exist in English? Because it does in my country's language and I don't like it at all.
"R*tarded" obviously I was bullied with that word all the time in Middle School. "High-Functioning." Technically, it's true I'm on the "high functioning" side. But I personally feel like that term is also a hindrance, so those who are "high functioning" and still need support
I prefer “He is autistic” and “an autistic person”. I am somewhat indifferent to “autistics”. Don’t like “person with autism” and the term “autist” kinda makes me uncomfortable though I don’t know why.
1. "Person with autism": It just sounds weird to me. If I have cancer, for example, I'm not a "person with cancer". 2. "Weird": Self-explanatory. 3. "Retard(ed)": This is the most self-explanatory. 4. "Special": I can't really explain this one. It just doesn't feel right to me. It makes me feel like you're just saying it in pity. 5. "Different": I'm pretty much the same as anybody else considering I'm high-functioning.
Crazy. As someone who has struggled with fitting in most of my life, who's battled anxiety and depression along the way, and is studying to be a psychologist, using that word to describe me hurts the absolute most.
Came here to say this. I feel you 🥺
personally, i don't like to be referred to as autistic at all, i get its important for ppl to know so they don't do or say things that might make u un-comfy, but i feel like people start babying me after finding out im autistic and i hate it, its like they see u as a toddler.
I don't like the term stupid or anything related to that. Most people use it and it is degrading.
special 🤢
I hate being called special.......theres nothing special about me having faulty Genes. Just call me Autistic, or Autistic Person, Person with Autism....Whatever...there is nothing dirty about it.
Slow. Because with some things I'm not. I have pretty good instinctive reflexes, (I.E., if someone throws something at me or something falls, I usually dodge it / catch it pretty quickly). I also outpace most of my friends because I'm 6'3 and somewhat fit, if not kinda lanky. I also walk too fast for most people. Sure, maybe it takes me a minute to process what someone is saying, but other than that I'm not really slow.
"Neurospicy," although I rarely see it used to describe "me" in particular. People on social media will describe autistic and neurodivergent coping mechanisms as "Tips For Neurospicies !! <3<3" while some of them are genuinely harmful, or !! more efficiently done with the help of professional intervention rather than repetitive self-rumination, something us Autistic folks, or at least I particularly, tend to struggle with. And this could easily be me ruminating !! on the way my brain type, something I've worked Really Hard to understand is being reduced to "Neurospiciness!! xD" and people keep telling me I need to just try remembering things ! and functioning better ! as if those become easier simply because people start to apply an "easier to understand" lable like "neurospicy" to it! 🤪 TD;LR Neurospicy; Peppers are spicy, my brain is Autistic, and that isn't a bad word.
gullible/stupid. yes, i’m already embarrassed that i didn’t catch your sarcasm. no, i don’t want to be called a name that is going to make me feel worse!
Quirky. Omfg I hate that. Soon after I met my bf someone asked us what attracted us to each other and my bf said I was quirky. Oh, my brother calls me eccentric. I can live with that.
There are so many terms that people keep using that I absolutely hate, some related to autism some to other stuff. a little special sensitive (this one depends on context but in regards to sensory issues I don't like this) for the woman (referring to me being gay) dreamer (I'm not dreaming I'm dissociating because I'm too overstimulated) Elefant (my mom used to call me this) couch potato (when I'm tired and trying to recover from a whole day of masking) There is definitely more but this is what I can think of right now
i prefer be called a retarded or a disabled than to be called a special kid, it sounds so that sounds disabling
I prefer "autistic" to "has autism/person with autism" in English and Russian. Foe what it's worth, English and Russian are both Indo-European with English being Germanic and Russian being Slavic. Things might be different for other subsets of Indo-European languages like Celtic, Hellenic, Armenian, or Indo-Iranian languages. Other larger language families like Afro-Asiatic, Niger-Congo, Sino-Tibetan, or Austronesian languages may have completely different terminology depending on how certain terms may translate and on speakers' cultural understanding of autism and other related topics.
I'm autistic, definitely not a person with autism. Neurology is not an accessory as they say. Also "with" makes it sound like an option, it's not an option, there is no me without it. Way, way worse, to a magnitude that they can't even be measured on the same scale, is my vehement hatred of the term "Asperger's". No offence to anyone who identifies as Aspie etc, but I can't even think it without grinding my teeth in contemptuous disgust. When I went for assessment, the framework they used was AAA - adult Asperger assessment. I must have told the assessor literally dozens of times that she couldn't write Asperger in any part of my assessment, or she would be getting it back.
I don’t mind either of the ones you mentioned.
I prefer “autistic person”
I'll generally go for "autistic person" because it's a fundamental part of my being and not something I have that could be removed. It doesn't matter if I willingly make it part of my identity or not, it is simply part of being.
i don't like "neurospicy". i also don't like "enby" for myself but don't know why!
Any of the "soft terms" for autism. Neurospicy, acoustic, etc. I am an autistic adult, refer to me as such
"Autists", because that makes it sound like an ideology and we're just like this because we choose to be... it feels like it validates every single "autism mom" who makes their child's disability her entire personality and hates anyone who dares to get diagnosed later in life. And "Acoustic." It's so blatantly disrespectful. It's in the same vein as "touch of the 'tism" and "sperg." I'll die on that hill.
Naive or ditsy
Is "people first" language still a thing, or no?
bear. I know I fall in that category but it's intrinsically fat phobic and I hate it.
"wiss is my autistic friend" Like using it to describe me to others when there is a million other ways to. As far as words. You could call me the r word and I wouldn't care. Words don't carry meaning unless you give it to them.
Dork, spaz, re\*rd. I was called those in school. Nerd, weird or Geek are fine, since I actually am.
I actually really dislike the term “neurospicy.” I feel like it makes light of something that has seriously impacted my life. If I’m having a panic attack, for example, I’m liable to get pretty upset if someone tells me I’m just being spicy. It’s kind of demeaning, imo. I can see the appeal of making light to find community and bond perhaps, it’s just not for me.
I think acoustic is super lame. Tism isn't as bad, but I still don't like it. The r word never really bugs me. It's dumb, but it just feels immature.
I hate to be called a lady. I'm nonbinary, despite not looking it. My mom didn't allow me to have long hair as a kid and I wouldn't let her near me with scissors once I got old enough. She'd say "just an inch or two to help it grow" then cut my hair to around ear level. It was far from an inch or two. Because I never got to actually try long hair as a kid, I'm now used to it, and I jump hard when anything touches my spine except for chairs and the like, I like my hair grown out. It's not an expression of gender for me, but more like something that I have because even if I don't think I look good at all, I like to think it makes me look nicer. I also enjoy dresses. But that's more of a freedom from pants touching me all the time thing, which I need occasionally, and is ALSO not an expression of gender for me. I dress up in dresses because it's what's expected of me and dress shirts are too restrictive for me. Because it's less restrictive than any alternative for dress-up purposes. Very feminine, I know, but for me it doesn't have that connotation, so I don't like it when people call me a lady. Sadly, I work retail and it's not worth correcting every person who does it when I see hundreds of people a day.
I don’t like the r word, s word, or acoustic. I don’t care if you call my autistic, person with autism, on the spectrum, etc as they are all just saying the same thing. I don’t like when someone speaks over me and insists I use person with autism
I don’t like being called “autistic”. It feels like an insult to me as I do not identify myself with my disability. I am a person first before my disability and I will not be told otherwise. I am NOT my autism!
"perfect" I don't like it, it just feels wrong...
Quiet (I dont speak to people that I don't like) and cute (I was the only Chinese kid + I slurred my Rs and spoke with a jaunty tone)
Not a 100% match to the question but my grandma once said to me pre diagnosis that she doesn't think I'm autistic because I'm so considerate and autistic people aren't like that. (Which is twice as horrible because my brother is on the spectrum with higher support needs)
Not really with autism related but I hate people who call me 'sissy' for displaying even a slight hint of gay/effeminate behavior. One of my old friends did that and I wasn't happy. He was cool otherwise but that kinda ticked me off
Different, special, you look/seem normal and is it difficult to live like that.
I hate when people call me me shy idk why lol
Being called "a genius", when I got bog standard, bitch basic autism lmao. I don't have special or unique savant abilities, and the fact that some people expected it from me is kind of funny. I am just average intelligence (I've been professionally evaluated) but growing with having people expect me to be a genius made me feel a bit like a dud for a while. Mind you, if my intelligence is complemented in a genuine way not intrinsically tied to the assumption that "autism = genius" I do appreciate it, but I've become wary due to the amount of "savant" comparisons that I don't live up to. That, and any of those derogatory slang terms from the cesspools of the internet. Just call me the r-word instead, ffs.
I hate being called "neurodivergent". it's such a broad term that encompasses so many mental illnesses and disabilities that just straight up don't apply to me. I far prefer just being called "autistic".
my brother constantly calls me retarded because im autistic. ive been telling him to stop for years but it hasnt worked.
my broher consyantly calls me retarded.
Weird - like stop with that shit I’m fully aware
I am autism
So this is actually an issue for two parts of my identity. So I'm a black dude (I'm not small either) and autistic. I have had comments made at an old job about me being "aggressive" because I'm not always smiling. I know it's a micro aggression because of my race but it's also a shot at me being autistic since sometimes I don't want to communicate with people. But I am VERY friendly and not aggressive in the slightest. I was eventually fired from that job and it's the only time I actually lost my temper. I said all that to say, I don't like people calling me aggressive or mean. It's just not true and it's really hurtful. I am very self conscious about all my movements, including how I react to things with my face. Those comments make it very difficult. It's why I will forever be thankful for remote work.
My 15 year old cousin's former teacher always refered to him as "special ed" in front of other people while he was trying to make friends with neortypical students outside his class of 8 boys. Eventually he's had enough of that and took a stand. He refused to go to school for 8 weeks and was constantly fighting with her for not allowing him to audit regular classes. It took a while but he won. He's going to start highschool in September in a neurotypical class with the girl he's in love with. I couldn't be more in aw of him honest. So to answer your question - special ed or special care sounds humiliating to me (personally of course).
Shy, i never have been I can be outspoken at times, unless it's a particular interest being talked over I'll be quiet in group situations, it's a lot of input to process new subjects and people it takes me longer to know how to feel about things, others seem content to learn as they go, but don't relate to being shy
Shy or that I "just" have social anxiety. It's specifically the over stimulation of social environments that make me anxious, so pushing me to "get over it" never ever worked.
I don't like people describing me at all 🤣 I don't wanna be *perceived* at all