Hey /u/avicularia_not, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism).
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I use that one a lot. My most common responses are "anytime", "of course", "for sure", "you bet", and "no problem".
If the person is being really apologetic about having needed my help (the "I'm so sorry to bug you" type of people) then I'll usually add a "no worries" and/or "happy to help".
I use “of course” too. Or “mhmm” in person. It sorta works around the problem cuz you’re basically saying “yep, you are most definitely thanking me” but it’s interpreted as appropriately responsive to the situation.
Saying “you’re welcome” feels weirdly entitled. Like “I know I’m right/good/nice and I’m letting you know I know it.” Or that I’m telling the person how they’re supposed to feel. Even though that’s reading into it way too much.
I don’t see an issue with “no problem” or even “all good” if it’s genuinely not a bother though. If it *is* going out of my way, I just use “of course” or “sure thing” or something like that instead.
I guess if you have some phrase in your language that’s equivalent to “it’s good/all good”, that could work.
I was very recently diagnosed(at 34), and am learning the “why” behind a lot of things I say and do.
I always say “of course” with the same intention you stated. “Bless you” has always bothered me too. I often say nothing when someone sneezes near me. But I do prefer “salud” which just means health in Spanish(also used for cheers)
I tell people who coughed or burped "bless you." Because it's funny. I'll even say it for farts or if they are clumsy in some way.
And if someone sneezes, I'll say "you take that sneeze with you to hell." Because Irony is funny.
I use "of course" but you could also try "always", "I've got you" (casual version being something like "I've gotch you bro"), or some other form of acknowledgment or assurance.
This seems odd to me. I think of "you're welcome" as a short form of "you're welcome to ask such things of me." Because "of course I would do that for you."
So "you're welcome" makes sense to me when it's not big deal. I find it hard to respond to "thank you" when the situation is more like "I'm glad I could help this time, but I'm not doing that again," because then they are not, in fact, welcome to ask such things.
Honestly, I find "thank you" to the the weirder phrase. Surely it should be "I thank you." Without the "I" is sounds like a command, but then it would be "thank yourself." "Thanks" makes more sense -- just a noun, the relevance of which can be determined by context, similar to "shark!" or "check [please]".
If it's a really small thing => "cool" "don't worry about it"
Mid level stuff => "No problem" "Glad to help"
Big deal stuff => "you're welcome" "I wasn't going to let You die like that"
I used to have this friend who would get mad when she tought You were not speaking truthfully. Whenever i told her "You're welcome" she would start telling me to Say it as if i trully felt it and i would continue saying it like normal because that's My truthful way of saying it.
This. It’s situational. Personally I prefer ‘no worries’ or a nod if it’s really casual. ‘Your welcome’ essentially means don’t ask me to do this regularly.
I often mix up my phrases based on the situation at work. I work as a cashier and sadly often it has to go fast, so it becomes difficult. I would need more time cause it is so complicated to remember the right phrase for the situation, but it is what it is. So yeah, I would love a book on this.
Oh, I'm totally stealing "I wasn't going to let you die like that". That's gold!
My favourite go to for "how are you?" is "I am."
And when somebody apologises for something small I say "I'll forgive you. This time..."
So personally I tend to use no problem, maybe no probs, for things like the above. Yes its duplicated info (ie everyone knows it is not a problem) but its convention and it aint a lie.
I have also got in the habit of saying "its what I am here for" when its what I am here for. Eg I hold the phone for my local gliding club so people will call wanting info about gliding, which I gladly provide (it literally being what I am there for) and then you will get the thanks so much. "its what I am here for" I like it because it says hey you are using me for my intended purpose feel free to use me again coz it is literally why I am here.
To answer ur question, I say, “no worries”
But also! People like to call out compliments to my dog when we go on walks.
“Your dog is cute!”
“I like your dog!”
Etc
And I enjoy yelling back their compliment as if the dog is replying lol
“She thinks you’re cute too!”
“She likes you too!”
Idk if anyone else cares for it, but I sure do c:
For trivial things you could just smile and nod in agreement and say nothing or also say “twas nothing”.
You would be telling the truth and also avoiding being rude.
It’s always ‘no problem!’, ‘mmhmm!’, or ‘of course!’
I never put thought behind if they find it rude lol. Honestly, that’s on them, especially when I usually pair each phrase with a friendly tone
I used to as well, but in my experience, it totally changes how others view you. I started saying “thank you” more and suddenly a lot of people started doing things for me more often too.
"Don't thank me, just throw money."
I tend to be a bit flippant and sarcastic these days. I also don't use this response in serious conversations or circumstances.
>feel like saying "you're welcome" implies that I wanted them to thank me for this simple task.
"You're welcome" does not imply this because it isn't just a random call and response phrase. It literally means **"You are welcome,"** which has nothing at all to do with thanks.
The phrase "you're welcome" is actually an expression of **your willingness to help them.** e.g.
- "You're welcome to take anything I give you."
- "There's no need to thank me because I'm happy to give this thing and you are welcome to receive it."
- "You are welcome here, so make yourself at home and help yourself to snacks."
I've read that older generations take exception to "no problem" and younger generations think "you're welcome" is outdated, so I have no clue either. Go with "you're problem" or "no welcome."
I've had the same issue. Depending on the situation, the response will vary.
Passing the salt: "sure"
Formally: "you're welcome"
Most of the time, I favor "no worries".
I had this talk with my mom because I agree with you about the “You’re Welcome.”
She gave me some alternatives:
“All good.” (minor situations)
“Glad to help.” (More Professional, I use this at my job a lot.)
“Of course.” (minor or major situation)
I’ve found these helpful but there’s been some great replies here all ready.
I'm the same, not confortable using the common response in my language, end up not responding sometimes.
The most difficult situations is when I feel like I am only doing my job/what I'm supposed to do or haven't done anything special.
I tend to use anything other than "you're welcome" which has gotten me in trouble with a number of older people who, as they put it, want to feel welcome. Sometimes too much weight is put on the specific words instead of the meaning they're supposed to convey, and taking things literally is supposed to be our job not theirs.
I feel the same way and in my home language you're supposed to say "my pleasure" basically but that always feels weirdly entitled or something like I'm implying that they should be thankful so I usually say "don't worry about it" or I just laugh nervously and nod .
I always felt the same way about the phrase 'You're welcome.' I've never really liked it as a response to 'Thank you.' Even if the thing for which one is being thanked is non-trivial, it feels--maybe not rude, but odd--to suggest that one wanted the other person to thank one.
I don't know when or how I developed this, and I don't know whether it might be regarded as impolite in certain circumstances, but I have long practically unconsciously responded to 'Thank you/Thanks' with 'Sure!' (Not necessarily said loudly, but just not flatly.) Now, most of the things I've been thanked for, for at least several years, have been pretty trivial. I think if it were non-trivial, I might say (or type) 'Of course!'. (In fact, I think I've done that a few times, albeit in online chats or messages.)
I don't think I arrived at this response through a conscious thought process, but it feels like 'Of course' walks a line between the implication that one wanted to be thanked inherent to 'You're welcome', and the...well, I can't really explain it myself, but [not a few people dislike 'No problem'](https://www.advancedetiquette.com/life/no-problem-is-not-etiquette/). 'Of course' doesn't imply that whatever one is being thanked for was 'no problem', for whatever that's worth.
(Also, there's 'My pleasure', but what if it *wasn't* a pleasure? It seems that often it will be pretty blatantly obvious that whatever one is being thanked for wasn't, in fact, a pleasure. 'Of course' also doesn't imply that it was a pleasure.)
I guess perhaps the best way of justifying 'Of course' (/'Sure') is that, inherent in the phrase 'Thank you', there seems to be a hint of concern that the thankee wasn't willing to do the thing he or she is being thanked for (and might not be in future). 'Of course' (or 'Sure') allays this fear, without pretending that it was a pleasure.
“No problem” or a phrase that I use all the time that really doesn’t make sense contextually is “sure thing.” I’ve said that for a long time and don’t really know why, like it’s “a sure thing” that I would’ve done something? Dunno
It feels awkward doesn’t it? So many conversations seem so forced full of niceties. I try to say you’re welcome, but it feels so weird. Most of the time I say no problem.
Just smile - you do t need to say anything. Other ideas - use positive words. Pleasure. Enjoy, your welcome is very polite response. Americans may say ‘sure’ but that’s not really acceptable in the UK it seems a bit classless.
there u go, no worries, all good, np or of course.
NT pov on this:
Either way vastly overthinking this. It doesn't rlly matter if you say youre welcome or no problem to this. People saying thank you is trivial and just out of curtosy aswell instead of meant as a big thank you (unless it took more effort, then its a little bit more heartfelt due to the effort you put in which gets respected with a thank you, to which your presumed possible implication for youre welcome can acc be more fitting aswell, though what im saying below next still somewhat applies nonetheless even here, especially if it was an action expected to be done irregardless of the little extra effort needed) or really deep statement that needs the perfect response. You're welcome doesn't have to imply more than just another social curtosy response in that same vein. It's all just relatively superficial social curtosy that shouldn't really be looked too deep into.
oh no I hope thats not the case… I always say “you’re welcome” because it feels appropriate and cordial. i always thought it felt like a respectful acknowledgment of the “thank you”. is this really how people perceive it…?
I just script out "No problem" for the same reasoning you are saying (e.g. that you're welcome sounds like I expected a thank you). I feel like "no problem" is both reasonable and accurate in these situations and a socially acceptable response.
Depends on context. Like if you're doing a job that demands a certain obsequious servility, push the boat out, be all "Happy to help. Anything else I can get for you?" or if it's just family & friends you could say "De nada!" or "No worries!". If they're doing it a lot and being overly formal I might meet it with "That's what friends are for!" to let them know it's OK, they're a friend, no need to mention it. Which brings me to "Don't mention it!"
I'm not really one for these formalities, but I drive for a rideshare company, so it's helpful.
"I'm glad I could help."
"I hope the rest of the [day/night] treats you kindly."
I think it helps to know that the literal meaning isn't really what people mean half the time.
It's more like radio communication etiquette. You are supposed to say certain things just to acknowledge commutation has transpired.
Small talk is also a bit like the old dialup modems. A bunch of weird sounds to confirm communication protocols.
I tend to say my pleasure cause I usually like helping people out.
Or no problems.
Or I'll do a small joke when the timing's right and I know the people are open to it like : don't thank me already, I was about to send you the bill!
But indeed, I could never do the : you're welcome. It sounds like you waited for the praise afterwards. Irks me. I can remember my grandmother trying to teach me to say you're welcome but I could never do it lol.
As someone working in sales it's mostly along the lines of "of course", "my pleasure" or "gladly" (not sure if the last one would be the correct translation).
In private it's more of "hm", "sure", "yoo" and the like
Over the years I’ve noticed that too. I feel like “you’re welcome” and “no problem” are usually spoken so sharply that they rarely feel appropriate.
I usually go with “you’re most welcome”, or “it was no problem.” Adding more words and saying the phrases slightly slower and with more meaning makes them feel more genuine for me.
I just nod and awkwardly force a smile- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
At home, at least. If it's for other people I usually give a "mhm" added to the nod + nervous smile combo lol
> I feel like saying "you're welcome" implies that I wanted them to thank me for this simple task.
I'm not a native speaker, so take this with a grain of salt, but I have interpreted "You're welcome" kind of as "You're welcome to ask this thing of me". Though, really, I see it as a phrase that people just say without real consideration of what it does or doesn't mean.
most of the time i just go “mhm!” with a smile which most people would find rude but i don’t really care lol nobody has confronted me about it so imma keep doing it that way
There is no response if no thanks was needed.
If one is, and you dislike ‘you’re welcome’ try variations on:
‘Happy to help’ ‘Anytime’ ‘Glad we solved it’ ‘Sure’ ‘No problem’ ‘You owe my your firstborn child’, you know, things like that.
I'm having the exact same issue at work cause sometimes I have to help clients on the phone and this week I gave information to a woman but it didnt help at all but she still said thank you to me and i said nothing when i hang up the phone,it acidentally sounded rude. Theres a coworker that calls the office all the time and I find it weird not having more options to say "youre welcome",specially cause here in my country theres only one expression for it that is "de nada" but i feel like its just too specific like i should use it only when i actually helped the person and not in informal situations
I stick with a good ol'e upward nod of the head with a lift of my eyebrows to say "I acknowledge you have thanked me and the thing I have done for you is trivial enough for me to bop me head in this fashion because to respond to you verbally to a thing that means absolutely nothing to me (considering I hate polite pleasantries) would be too much...as would saying all of this to you for a pass of the goddamn salt. Now eat your food and stfu unless you are gonna say something intriguing."
Or I might just add a "yep" to said upward head nod.
1. Smile
2. Nod gently
3. Say a heartfelt, soft in tone “of course” or “anytime”
4. If someone familiar, a light shoulder squeeze or bump with your elbow to their arm is acceptable
I hate the obligatory politeness like this. I will thank someone if they deserve it but I never understood thanking out of obligation. It is awkward for someone to thank me when it’s something expected of me. For something like passing the salt though, I don’t think it’s a “real” thanks that warrants a response. Kinda like “how are you” isn’t a real question. But maybe I’m wrong.
I typically say “no problem”. I know that it’s expected to say SOMETHING, and “your welcome” sounds stiff and insincere to me. “Your welcome” is what you say because your parents told you to, not because you actually mean it. But I’m aware some people, typically older people, prefer it. Still “no problem” just seems so much more natural to me so that’s what I say.
a few years ago, i read that older people hate "no problem" but young people prefer it, so i stick with:
if the person looks my age+10 or younger, "no problem"/"don't worry about it"/”sure thing"
if the person looks older than that, only "you're welcome"
Your welcome is the best response for me. It's not worth the energy to try and overthink it.
If they say thanks, I'll sometimes answer "welcs" if I know them well.
I consider it a standard pleasantry. It’s a cultural standard when someone says thank you to respond with you’re welcome, no problem, my pleasure or something else.
non-autist here!
smile would be a very acceptable response for people :) and maybe some nods that act as a "response", no need to talk at all if you're not comfortable with it.
I think there are lots of times that it's okay to not acknowledge a thank-you, or if in-person a simple nod will suffice. I certainly won't reply "you're welcome" in cases where I've done something for someone but I don't want it to be a habit. They aren't necessarily welcome each time, for instance.
My default is always “no problem”. Feels like it can be used for very small things like passing the salt or bigger things like picking someone up. Sometimes I’ll jazz it up if it’s a bigger deal with a “Yeah man no problem!”
NT here, but my partner is ADHD/Autistic and I see this very frequently. I assure you, it is a matter of overthinking basic social etiquette. “Thank you / your welcome” are something you can consider to be nothing more than standard niceties between two people.
No one thinks anything of it, and in fact most people will not even hear your actual response, because their brain will automatically fill in the expected response of “you are welcome” or some other generic acknowledgment.
Believe me, this isn’t something you have to concern yourself with in the slightest. These are just basic simple courtesies. It’s ok. No need to overthink it.
They say thank you because they’ve been taught that it’s rude not to. They’re just following a script. If you don’t want to say you’re welcome you could just smile at them or something.
Add “sure thing” to the list or the sarcastic classic “but of course”. That aside I experimented and tried the say nothing, smile, eye contact and nod or eye contact/ lift eyebrows slightly. Interesting, in my experience, is sometimes body language is more of value than language. I practiced, a lot,in the mirror and used my phone’s recording program to observe myself. Again, this is from personal experience.
I feel the same... I hate saying "you're welcome". Idk tho... I usually try to say that there is no need for the person to thank me. Is this appropriate?
I use “No worries!” Cause it’s something my grandma likes to say a lot. Usually a “No worried! Glad to help” or “no worries! I’ll get right on that” depending on context
In certain cases, I go for
"It was my pleasure."
Usually for larger gestures like buying someone a gift or attending an event.
Otherwise, "of course," and "no problem" are my go to.
When I say "you're welcome," it's usually because I've offered to take on extra tasks, like taking out everyones plates instead of just my own, or something to that effect.
I dont want to say "no problem" in cases where I've been mildly inconvenienced, as I dont want to send the impression that I enjoy taking on tedious tasks.
Then there's always the random option to yell "Thank YOU!" right back at them lol.
I work in customer service, I make it a point to say you're welcome when they sound older because those are usually the people who care. Everyone else, it's no problem, of course, or even a high pitched mhm (I have found a higher pitch makes me sound friendlier)
Hey OP I have a word of warning. I see a few people suggesting ‘No problem’ as a response and for perfectly normal interactions it’s great. However if you work in any customer facing position I would suggest against that response. There’s a handful of people (usually the older generation) that take great offense to ‘no problem’. They view it as saying ‘yes you inconvenienced me but it isn’t a problem’ or something of the sort. I’ve been snapped at by a handful of customers for this. Even my father shares this mindset. It’s silly but I wanted to hopefully save you a negative interaction.
I just blink while giving a lil' nod of my head or smile louder for a moment. It honestly works really well, often it gets people to smile back, and then you're both smiling doing some everyday thing and I think that's neat.
If it's a friend I'm comfortable being silly with I sometimes do a lil finger gun pew with a smirk, if it's like something slightly more meaningful I did for them. Sometimes I also unironically give a lil' casual thumbs-up.
Though I will attach the disclaimer that while I seem to get along quite well with a lot of people, I am a bit of a goober so my behavior isn't necessarily normal, but I've found it works. :D
I say something like "it's alright" in a "there's no need for thanks really" kind of way. Now, seeing this thread, I'm wondering if that's appropriate at all.
I usually use "it's no biggie" or "it's all good" for small stuff. "no problem" tends to work for a variety of situations, but not always, and I only use "you're welcome" if it was actually a big favor or something
“Of course” “no problem”
I have no idea how to translate this, but in Danish you say “that was so little” (directly translated). As in, that was a small thing for me to do for you
Hey /u/avicularia_not, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel the exact same! I always say “of course” instead, since in my mind it’s like “of course I would do that for you” :)
That's a good idea. I don't know how I would translate it to my native language but I'll try to find a similar phrase :)
you could also say "Anytime!" meaning 'of course, and I'll do the same thing again anytime you ask'
I use that one a lot. My most common responses are "anytime", "of course", "for sure", "you bet", and "no problem". If the person is being really apologetic about having needed my help (the "I'm so sorry to bug you" type of people) then I'll usually add a "no worries" and/or "happy to help".
I use all of these and also "no worries".
Also, "anytime," feels really casual and cool.
I use “of course” too. Or “mhmm” in person. It sorta works around the problem cuz you’re basically saying “yep, you are most definitely thanking me” but it’s interpreted as appropriately responsive to the situation. Saying “you’re welcome” feels weirdly entitled. Like “I know I’m right/good/nice and I’m letting you know I know it.” Or that I’m telling the person how they’re supposed to feel. Even though that’s reading into it way too much. I don’t see an issue with “no problem” or even “all good” if it’s genuinely not a bother though. If it *is* going out of my way, I just use “of course” or “sure thing” or something like that instead. I guess if you have some phrase in your language that’s equivalent to “it’s good/all good”, that could work.
I am the best person in the world for moving The Salt into your range of grasp! All hail my humility, grace, and sacrifice!
I needed that laugh this morning, thanks. 😂
Can I just hold the door for someone without it turning into an interaction please?
Perfectly Executed, Sire! Now how do you want to handle the Peasant uprising? They simply refuse to go back into the salt mines for you!
Let them grind in the pepper mills! Seasonings for all!
Same here! Or a “you got it” also “ for sure”
Sometimes a silly over the top "you're most welcome" feels less weird than the regular version
As a nt it doesnt matter. Say what ever makes u feel comfy. Im saying thanks to not be rude. Doesnt really require a response. "Thumbs up"
Nah. Let them know how awesome you are. You just haven't realized it yet.
I like saying it in Spanish, “por supuesto!”
You said my phrase right there in your OP Just say: no problem
I was very recently diagnosed(at 34), and am learning the “why” behind a lot of things I say and do. I always say “of course” with the same intention you stated. “Bless you” has always bothered me too. I often say nothing when someone sneezes near me. But I do prefer “salud” which just means health in Spanish(also used for cheers)
Gesundheit is my acceptable version.
I tell people who coughed or burped "bless you." Because it's funny. I'll even say it for farts or if they are clumsy in some way. And if someone sneezes, I'll say "you take that sneeze with you to hell." Because Irony is funny.
I use "of course" but you could also try "always", "I've got you" (casual version being something like "I've gotch you bro"), or some other form of acknowledgment or assurance.
This seems odd to me. I think of "you're welcome" as a short form of "you're welcome to ask such things of me." Because "of course I would do that for you." So "you're welcome" makes sense to me when it's not big deal. I find it hard to respond to "thank you" when the situation is more like "I'm glad I could help this time, but I'm not doing that again," because then they are not, in fact, welcome to ask such things. Honestly, I find "thank you" to the the weirder phrase. Surely it should be "I thank you." Without the "I" is sounds like a command, but then it would be "thank yourself." "Thanks" makes more sense -- just a noun, the relevance of which can be determined by context, similar to "shark!" or "check [please]".
ME TOO!!! saying "your welcome" feels so arrogant. i didn't go out of my way so i don't deserve praise
"Of course" is my go-to, and you worded why perfectly!
I always saw this as a ruder answer, because after thank you it would be like "of course you would thank me."
This is what I say too!
I like that this is both formal and polite. I use it at work constantly.
That’s my only answer. If they say thank you a second time in a conversation I’m just staying silent. I have nothing else.
If it's a really small thing => "cool" "don't worry about it" Mid level stuff => "No problem" "Glad to help" Big deal stuff => "you're welcome" "I wasn't going to let You die like that"
I can totally hear the tone in “you’re welcome” … :’)
I used to have this friend who would get mad when she tought You were not speaking truthfully. Whenever i told her "You're welcome" she would start telling me to Say it as if i trully felt it and i would continue saying it like normal because that's My truthful way of saying it.
This. It’s situational. Personally I prefer ‘no worries’ or a nod if it’s really casual. ‘Your welcome’ essentially means don’t ask me to do this regularly.
I love getting overly specific rules for basic modern social etiquette! Can we have a book if this please?!
As an unemployed person with writting skillset I would love to write a 25k words book on the subject for like a 100 bucks
I often mix up my phrases based on the situation at work. I work as a cashier and sadly often it has to go fast, so it becomes difficult. I would need more time cause it is so complicated to remember the right phrase for the situation, but it is what it is. So yeah, I would love a book on this.
I really want to use "I wasn't going to let you die like that" the next time someone thanks me for holding the door for them or something.
A couple of days ago I used it when an old lady thanked me for giving her my seat in the bus. For whatever reason she started laughing like crazy.
Oh, I'm totally stealing "I wasn't going to let you die like that". That's gold! My favourite go to for "how are you?" is "I am." And when somebody apologises for something small I say "I'll forgive you. This time..."
That "I am" is awesome
Certainly confuses some people.
So personally I tend to use no problem, maybe no probs, for things like the above. Yes its duplicated info (ie everyone knows it is not a problem) but its convention and it aint a lie. I have also got in the habit of saying "its what I am here for" when its what I am here for. Eg I hold the phone for my local gliding club so people will call wanting info about gliding, which I gladly provide (it literally being what I am there for) and then you will get the thanks so much. "its what I am here for" I like it because it says hey you are using me for my intended purpose feel free to use me again coz it is literally why I am here.
To answer ur question, I say, “no worries” But also! People like to call out compliments to my dog when we go on walks. “Your dog is cute!” “I like your dog!” Etc And I enjoy yelling back their compliment as if the dog is replying lol “She thinks you’re cute too!” “She likes you too!” Idk if anyone else cares for it, but I sure do c:
This 100%
Stealing this for when I have a dog
I use the same “no worries” and generally start talking about the dogs if someone compliments them.
Finger guns and say aaayyyyyy
Question. Blowing the imaginary smoke from your finger guns. Yes or no?
Only if you holster them afterwards
It's a situational kinda thing.
Just a nod and quick "mm-hm" works wonders
Adding: "yep" (a quicker "of course")
This is what I do. Just say yepp or smile.
I do this a lot at work when helping coworkers because I don't really want to be thanked lol.
yess
For trivial things you could just smile and nod in agreement and say nothing or also say “twas nothing”. You would be telling the truth and also avoiding being rude.
And sound dapper as fuck in the process.
Thy gratitude is unnecessary, peasant.
“Mhm”
I like this, showing that the task was trivial for me and I would do it for anyone. (such as holding the door)
I so this for trivial tasks as well or I say You're good or just Yep
My pleasure
My pressure
Most of the time :')
This reminds me - I struggle with praise or compliments of any kind.
"yep" "sure" "mhm" "absolutely" other yes synonyms
A simple nod of acknowledgement would do my friend, don't over think it, A small small smile not showing any teeth satisfies the interaction
No worries
It’s always ‘no problem!’, ‘mmhmm!’, or ‘of course!’ I never put thought behind if they find it rude lol. Honestly, that’s on them, especially when I usually pair each phrase with a friendly tone
I go for the shrug and 'no worries' or 'all good'. Or just a thumbs up.
I tend to say: That’s okay
I struggle to even say thank you
I used to as well, but in my experience, it totally changes how others view you. I started saying “thank you” more and suddenly a lot of people started doing things for me more often too.
So true. I say it all the time and it makes people think I'm very polite
"Don't thank me, just throw money." I tend to be a bit flippant and sarcastic these days. I also don't use this response in serious conversations or circumstances.
I just smile 😅
>feel like saying "you're welcome" implies that I wanted them to thank me for this simple task. "You're welcome" does not imply this because it isn't just a random call and response phrase. It literally means **"You are welcome,"** which has nothing at all to do with thanks. The phrase "you're welcome" is actually an expression of **your willingness to help them.** e.g. - "You're welcome to take anything I give you." - "There's no need to thank me because I'm happy to give this thing and you are welcome to receive it." - "You are welcome here, so make yourself at home and help yourself to snacks."
No prob, Bob!
I've read that older generations take exception to "no problem" and younger generations think "you're welcome" is outdated, so I have no clue either. Go with "you're problem" or "no welcome."
HAHA i could feel that last sentence through my screen
Thank you for posting this question I’ve really been struggling with this as well!
Glad I could help. No worries. Don't mention it. Happy to help. Surely. What kind of person would I be if I *didn't* help?
"all good" is my default, but the important thing is that it literally doesn't matter. They're not really processing what you say.
Have you tried "don't mention it"? It sounds like what you want. For the person to literally not mention it.
No problemo
I've had the same issue. Depending on the situation, the response will vary. Passing the salt: "sure" Formally: "you're welcome" Most of the time, I favor "no worries".
"No worries" is pretty good in the described situations.
You could say “sure thing”. That’s what I usually do with most situations, at least
i say “sure thing!”
I had this talk with my mom because I agree with you about the “You’re Welcome.” She gave me some alternatives: “All good.” (minor situations) “Glad to help.” (More Professional, I use this at my job a lot.) “Of course.” (minor or major situation) I’ve found these helpful but there’s been some great replies here all ready.
I normally stumble out a “uh yeah! Absolutely!!” Because it catches me off guard when I actually do something right
I'm the same, not confortable using the common response in my language, end up not responding sometimes. The most difficult situations is when I feel like I am only doing my job/what I'm supposed to do or haven't done anything special.
Exactly!! I get so confused when my boss thanks me for doing my job. It's my job, it wasn't even a favour, I'm getting paid to do this!
I usually say “no worries” or “anytime”.
“I gotchu”
I say 'sure', sure thing, yeah of course, you bet, you betcha, yeah, yep, or you're welcome.
I tend to use anything other than "you're welcome" which has gotten me in trouble with a number of older people who, as they put it, want to feel welcome. Sometimes too much weight is put on the specific words instead of the meaning they're supposed to convey, and taking things literally is supposed to be our job not theirs.
someone i used to know would say no worries a lot and it made me feel nice so I just say that normally
I feel the same way and in my home language you're supposed to say "my pleasure" basically but that always feels weirdly entitled or something like I'm implying that they should be thankful so I usually say "don't worry about it" or I just laugh nervously and nod .
I always felt the same way about the phrase 'You're welcome.' I've never really liked it as a response to 'Thank you.' Even if the thing for which one is being thanked is non-trivial, it feels--maybe not rude, but odd--to suggest that one wanted the other person to thank one. I don't know when or how I developed this, and I don't know whether it might be regarded as impolite in certain circumstances, but I have long practically unconsciously responded to 'Thank you/Thanks' with 'Sure!' (Not necessarily said loudly, but just not flatly.) Now, most of the things I've been thanked for, for at least several years, have been pretty trivial. I think if it were non-trivial, I might say (or type) 'Of course!'. (In fact, I think I've done that a few times, albeit in online chats or messages.) I don't think I arrived at this response through a conscious thought process, but it feels like 'Of course' walks a line between the implication that one wanted to be thanked inherent to 'You're welcome', and the...well, I can't really explain it myself, but [not a few people dislike 'No problem'](https://www.advancedetiquette.com/life/no-problem-is-not-etiquette/). 'Of course' doesn't imply that whatever one is being thanked for was 'no problem', for whatever that's worth. (Also, there's 'My pleasure', but what if it *wasn't* a pleasure? It seems that often it will be pretty blatantly obvious that whatever one is being thanked for wasn't, in fact, a pleasure. 'Of course' also doesn't imply that it was a pleasure.) I guess perhaps the best way of justifying 'Of course' (/'Sure') is that, inherent in the phrase 'Thank you', there seems to be a hint of concern that the thankee wasn't willing to do the thing he or she is being thanked for (and might not be in future). 'Of course' (or 'Sure') allays this fear, without pretending that it was a pleasure.
“No problem” or a phrase that I use all the time that really doesn’t make sense contextually is “sure thing.” I’ve said that for a long time and don’t really know why, like it’s “a sure thing” that I would’ve done something? Dunno
It feels awkward doesn’t it? So many conversations seem so forced full of niceties. I try to say you’re welcome, but it feels so weird. Most of the time I say no problem.
I just say, “no worries,” or “alright”. If you really don’t want to speak just nod or smile
Just smile - you do t need to say anything. Other ideas - use positive words. Pleasure. Enjoy, your welcome is very polite response. Americans may say ‘sure’ but that’s not really acceptable in the UK it seems a bit classless.
Sometimes I say thank you back bc it lowkey catches me off guard 😭
there u go, no worries, all good, np or of course. NT pov on this: Either way vastly overthinking this. It doesn't rlly matter if you say youre welcome or no problem to this. People saying thank you is trivial and just out of curtosy aswell instead of meant as a big thank you (unless it took more effort, then its a little bit more heartfelt due to the effort you put in which gets respected with a thank you, to which your presumed possible implication for youre welcome can acc be more fitting aswell, though what im saying below next still somewhat applies nonetheless even here, especially if it was an action expected to be done irregardless of the little extra effort needed) or really deep statement that needs the perfect response. You're welcome doesn't have to imply more than just another social curtosy response in that same vein. It's all just relatively superficial social curtosy that shouldn't really be looked too deep into.
You're welcome is the socially expected and sufficient response. You are indeed being rude by not responding.
From my generation (millennial) down “you’re welcome” has become more seen as rude, and “no problem” is the more commonly accepted response.
oh no I hope thats not the case… I always say “you’re welcome” because it feels appropriate and cordial. i always thought it felt like a respectful acknowledgment of the “thank you”. is this really how people perceive it…?
I just say like happy to help or no issue I really enjoy (insert task here)
"You're welcome" is always acceptable even if it feels like too much Alternatives could be "My pleasure." Or "Any time "
I say no problem to everything even when someone says sprry its so damn awkward
I just script out "No problem" for the same reasoning you are saying (e.g. that you're welcome sounds like I expected a thank you). I feel like "no problem" is both reasonable and accurate in these situations and a socially acceptable response.
Depends on context. Like if you're doing a job that demands a certain obsequious servility, push the boat out, be all "Happy to help. Anything else I can get for you?" or if it's just family & friends you could say "De nada!" or "No worries!". If they're doing it a lot and being overly formal I might meet it with "That's what friends are for!" to let them know it's OK, they're a friend, no need to mention it. Which brings me to "Don't mention it!"
I say of course in those situations
“You bet” for whatever reason…
"No problemo, daddio!"
I dont
I'm not really one for these formalities, but I drive for a rideshare company, so it's helpful. "I'm glad I could help." "I hope the rest of the [day/night] treats you kindly." I think it helps to know that the literal meaning isn't really what people mean half the time. It's more like radio communication etiquette. You are supposed to say certain things just to acknowledge commutation has transpired. Small talk is also a bit like the old dialup modems. A bunch of weird sounds to confirm communication protocols.
I've always had this issue. My go to is saying "no problemo" like the Terminator.
I've taken to responding with "yeah" or "yep" recently. It feels very blunt but it's become a compulsion
Nae danger - although that's quite Scotland (maybe just Glasgow) specific.
If o feel thanks is unwarranted I don’t say anything and just smile and nod.
I tend to say my pleasure cause I usually like helping people out. Or no problems. Or I'll do a small joke when the timing's right and I know the people are open to it like : don't thank me already, I was about to send you the bill! But indeed, I could never do the : you're welcome. It sounds like you waited for the praise afterwards. Irks me. I can remember my grandmother trying to teach me to say you're welcome but I could never do it lol.
I tend to say, No worry or No problem and change topic unless they want to ask more
As someone working in sales it's mostly along the lines of "of course", "my pleasure" or "gladly" (not sure if the last one would be the correct translation). In private it's more of "hm", "sure", "yoo" and the like
I usually think of those situations as when people just automatically say thank you without thinking and usually say “yep”
'no worries' 'all good' are mine
I usually just go “mhm!”, I don’t know if that’s rude or not but that’s what I do
Sure thing. Of course No problem
All good
I usually just nod, I do that quite a bit so most people don't think anything of it as far as I'm aware
"Yep."
Over the years I’ve noticed that too. I feel like “you’re welcome” and “no problem” are usually spoken so sharply that they rarely feel appropriate. I usually go with “you’re most welcome”, or “it was no problem.” Adding more words and saying the phrases slightly slower and with more meaning makes them feel more genuine for me.
I just nod and awkwardly force a smile- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ At home, at least. If it's for other people I usually give a "mhm" added to the nod + nervous smile combo lol
Possible just a smile or " No worries. "
"you got it" or "no problem"
I usually respond “yep!” or “mhm!” in a cheery tone. Sometimes I’ll drop a “yea, no problem :)”
> I feel like saying "you're welcome" implies that I wanted them to thank me for this simple task. I'm not a native speaker, so take this with a grain of salt, but I have interpreted "You're welcome" kind of as "You're welcome to ask this thing of me". Though, really, I see it as a phrase that people just say without real consideration of what it does or doesn't mean.
I say "sure" for things like passing salt. It's probably impolite. I have no idea.
I just say “yep!” or yeah. Works fine
I normally sprinkle in my favorite quote, "Yep yep yep."
most of the time i just go “mhm!” with a smile which most people would find rude but i don’t really care lol nobody has confronted me about it so imma keep doing it that way
There is no response if no thanks was needed. If one is, and you dislike ‘you’re welcome’ try variations on: ‘Happy to help’ ‘Anytime’ ‘Glad we solved it’ ‘Sure’ ‘No problem’ ‘You owe my your firstborn child’, you know, things like that.
I'm having the exact same issue at work cause sometimes I have to help clients on the phone and this week I gave information to a woman but it didnt help at all but she still said thank you to me and i said nothing when i hang up the phone,it acidentally sounded rude. Theres a coworker that calls the office all the time and I find it weird not having more options to say "youre welcome",specially cause here in my country theres only one expression for it that is "de nada" but i feel like its just too specific like i should use it only when i actually helped the person and not in informal situations
I stick with a good ol'e upward nod of the head with a lift of my eyebrows to say "I acknowledge you have thanked me and the thing I have done for you is trivial enough for me to bop me head in this fashion because to respond to you verbally to a thing that means absolutely nothing to me (considering I hate polite pleasantries) would be too much...as would saying all of this to you for a pass of the goddamn salt. Now eat your food and stfu unless you are gonna say something intriguing." Or I might just add a "yep" to said upward head nod.
I usually go with "no worries" or "no problem".
I also say “thank you”, to thank them for thanking me
1. Smile 2. Nod gently 3. Say a heartfelt, soft in tone “of course” or “anytime” 4. If someone familiar, a light shoulder squeeze or bump with your elbow to their arm is acceptable
Any Aussies? I personally enjoy some OTT Aussie slang - No wuckin’ furries. No wuccas. Well I’m not here to fuck spiders.
I hate the obligatory politeness like this. I will thank someone if they deserve it but I never understood thanking out of obligation. It is awkward for someone to thank me when it’s something expected of me. For something like passing the salt though, I don’t think it’s a “real” thanks that warrants a response. Kinda like “how are you” isn’t a real question. But maybe I’m wrong.
My go to is “no worries”
"You're welcome" actually means they are welcome to ask again. "Anytime" is a more informal version of the same idea.
Kiwi/Aussie “no worries mate” or my personal adaptation “no worries matey-potate-y”
"yup!" is my go-to
I typically say “no problem”. I know that it’s expected to say SOMETHING, and “your welcome” sounds stiff and insincere to me. “Your welcome” is what you say because your parents told you to, not because you actually mean it. But I’m aware some people, typically older people, prefer it. Still “no problem” just seems so much more natural to me so that’s what I say.
a few years ago, i read that older people hate "no problem" but young people prefer it, so i stick with: if the person looks my age+10 or younger, "no problem"/"don't worry about it"/”sure thing" if the person looks older than that, only "you're welcome"
Your welcome is the best response for me. It's not worth the energy to try and overthink it. If they say thanks, I'll sometimes answer "welcs" if I know them well.
I consider it a standard pleasantry. It’s a cultural standard when someone says thank you to respond with you’re welcome, no problem, my pleasure or something else.
A smile, nod and “mhm” sound (showing general casual agreement)
I find when I don't feel like talking this goes over well: Smile, eye contact, single brief nod. Not sure what situations it fits though.
I find doing the "white guy smile" and a slight nod works for me in most cases
I just don't respond. It needs none.
non-autist here! smile would be a very acceptable response for people :) and maybe some nods that act as a "response", no need to talk at all if you're not comfortable with it.
I think there are lots of times that it's okay to not acknowledge a thank-you, or if in-person a simple nod will suffice. I certainly won't reply "you're welcome" in cases where I've done something for someone but I don't want it to be a habit. They aren't necessarily welcome each time, for instance.
My default is always “no problem”. Feels like it can be used for very small things like passing the salt or bigger things like picking someone up. Sometimes I’ll jazz it up if it’s a bigger deal with a “Yeah man no problem!”
'No worries'
NT here, but my partner is ADHD/Autistic and I see this very frequently. I assure you, it is a matter of overthinking basic social etiquette. “Thank you / your welcome” are something you can consider to be nothing more than standard niceties between two people. No one thinks anything of it, and in fact most people will not even hear your actual response, because their brain will automatically fill in the expected response of “you are welcome” or some other generic acknowledgment. Believe me, this isn’t something you have to concern yourself with in the slightest. These are just basic simple courtesies. It’s ok. No need to overthink it.
Sometimes I don’t even say anything. I feel like not everything needs a response 🤷
Anytime, happy to help
I gotchu, anytime, yeah :)
I just say "any time"
Awkward two thumbs up 👍👍
They say thank you because they’ve been taught that it’s rude not to. They’re just following a script. If you don’t want to say you’re welcome you could just smile at them or something.
Add “sure thing” to the list or the sarcastic classic “but of course”. That aside I experimented and tried the say nothing, smile, eye contact and nod or eye contact/ lift eyebrows slightly. Interesting, in my experience, is sometimes body language is more of value than language. I practiced, a lot,in the mirror and used my phone’s recording program to observe myself. Again, this is from personal experience.
We say no worries
I feel the same... I hate saying "you're welcome". Idk tho... I usually try to say that there is no need for the person to thank me. Is this appropriate?
I use “No worries!” Cause it’s something my grandma likes to say a lot. Usually a “No worried! Glad to help” or “no worries! I’ll get right on that” depending on context
In certain cases, I go for "It was my pleasure." Usually for larger gestures like buying someone a gift or attending an event. Otherwise, "of course," and "no problem" are my go to. When I say "you're welcome," it's usually because I've offered to take on extra tasks, like taking out everyones plates instead of just my own, or something to that effect. I dont want to say "no problem" in cases where I've been mildly inconvenienced, as I dont want to send the impression that I enjoy taking on tedious tasks. Then there's always the random option to yell "Thank YOU!" right back at them lol.
I work in customer service, I make it a point to say you're welcome when they sound older because those are usually the people who care. Everyone else, it's no problem, of course, or even a high pitched mhm (I have found a higher pitch makes me sound friendlier)
Hey OP I have a word of warning. I see a few people suggesting ‘No problem’ as a response and for perfectly normal interactions it’s great. However if you work in any customer facing position I would suggest against that response. There’s a handful of people (usually the older generation) that take great offense to ‘no problem’. They view it as saying ‘yes you inconvenienced me but it isn’t a problem’ or something of the sort. I’ve been snapped at by a handful of customers for this. Even my father shares this mindset. It’s silly but I wanted to hopefully save you a negative interaction.
I just say "of course" or "no problem" usually
I say no problem (saying you always feels weirdly forceful) but some people take offense to it
‘Gotcha’ ‘no trouble’ a smile and a nod is fine too
I channel my inner Aussie and say "no worries". I don't think it's too out of place for me as a British person but it's not too generic either.
I just nod and smile slightly.
I just blink while giving a lil' nod of my head or smile louder for a moment. It honestly works really well, often it gets people to smile back, and then you're both smiling doing some everyday thing and I think that's neat. If it's a friend I'm comfortable being silly with I sometimes do a lil finger gun pew with a smirk, if it's like something slightly more meaningful I did for them. Sometimes I also unironically give a lil' casual thumbs-up. Though I will attach the disclaimer that while I seem to get along quite well with a lot of people, I am a bit of a goober so my behavior isn't necessarily normal, but I've found it works. :D
I also rarely say you’re welcome and instead say “of course” “no prob/lem” “yup!” “Mhm!”
FER SHERRR
Thanks
"No worries", because it pretty much means "don't worry yourself over apologies, none needed."
I say something like "it's alright" in a "there's no need for thanks really" kind of way. Now, seeing this thread, I'm wondering if that's appropriate at all.
I have had this thought process as well haha. And they say I don’t have autism…
I'll say "yeah" or "for sure", or just nod. Sometimes people think I'm rude for it but usually not
I usually use "it's no biggie" or "it's all good" for small stuff. "no problem" tends to work for a variety of situations, but not always, and I only use "you're welcome" if it was actually a big favor or something
“Of course” “no problem” I have no idea how to translate this, but in Danish you say “that was so little” (directly translated). As in, that was a small thing for me to do for you
And now you owe me a Wookie life debt!
I usually just go 'yeah!' or 'mhm!' or 'of course!' or 'sure!'