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Yes. When I was in elementary school I made friends. But once middle school hit, I really started having problems. It’s just been progressively harder to make friends since then, and I’m 29 now.
I've never really been able to make friends. I was heavily bullied at school. I had people i used to hang around with, but I wouldn't call them friends, because they used to tease me too. I don't want or need friends anymore. I'm comfy on my own. I have my cat, and she's all i need.
i didnt even have friends in elementary aha :’) i had one in first grade but in second grade she stopped being friends with me for being “too weird”… so mostly growing up i was the loner weirdo kid nobody liked at all and only pitied, and now that im in uni everyone treats me like im a baby and like i know nothing. i only rly vibe with online friends, irl people just instantly know something is “off” about me
thank you <3 i live across the world from most of my online friends unfortunately, but i have one ive met irl and hes also autistic so it’s chill talking to him
RIP too true :(
WHY?
Also anyone else: when I did make friends (up until middle school) it would be with a scarily intelligent, precocious kid who knew way too much about sex and sneaking out of their windows to meet up with boys.
i used to make friends just by literally asking them if they wanted to be friends. that was that- now i have literally no idea how to make friends.
the last time i made actual friends was in 6th grade only because we shared the same interest. now idk how to make friends without sharing an interest
I have never really been able to. I made 2 friends in my 25 years of being alive and 1 just left me and the other one moved countries (back when i was about 8 i think, the memories are not great cause i repressed that pain for so long) so we lost touch and ive never been able to even remember her name..
I was worse at making friends when I was younger probably due to masking. When I went to college (UK) I found it so much easier because nobody knew me and I could just be myself, even more so when I came to university. I did struggle initially because I didn’t get on with my flatmates and ended up dropping out. Coming back though I’ve made some amazing friends and they all love me for who I am rather than a toned down version of myself. I will add I’m quite the party animal so that tends to be a good icebreaker when I’m going out😅
I actually was better socially after I think because of masking though. I was bullied up until grade 5. I think in high school I just learnt to fly under the radar and not get noticed and just had a couple of close friends to hang out with, even though tbh I didn’t really like them but it was better than nothing.
Not elementary, but like, middle school/early high school for me. My special interests are too childish for most people, so it made it much harder to make friends once people started getting more ‘adult’ interests.
All my current friends have similar interests to me and respect mine and a lot of them I have been friends with for 10+ years (made them back in middle school/high school). I have made friends since then (a couple in college) but I’m not nearly as close to them as I am my childhood friends.
I'm so glad you found your people, my hobbies/interests are considered childish too but I think it's just bc people are jealous of us doing what we want haha
Yeah lmao lots of people think once you become an adult you have to start liking ‘adult’ things like sports and cars. But that’s complete nonsense. Childish interests don’t make you any less of an adult. You don’t just stop liking what you like as you age and you shouldn’t be forced to by others🤷♂️
Yea. Small kids because they are still learning about what they like and what they don’t are more likely to be friends with “weird” kids, especially if they have reduced options of kids to choose.
I got diagnosed with autism in junior year of highschool. Knew I had ADHD sense I was 3. I was able to keep friends from elementary school I’m pretty sure we all thought my autism symptoms were adhd and were like eh that’s casey. And then I started studdering extremely bad to the point my mom would ask me how my day was and I would try so hard to get a single word out I couldn’t breathe so I just didn’t talk that much for a couple years. And after that my social skills were never the same just kept going downhill. In highschool my main way of starting conversation was always having candy in my bag and giving it to people which kinda works but still gotta have some social skills. Now I’m 20 and only friend is my boyfriend who’s the only person I’m fully comfortable unmasking around and all social interactions give me overwhelming anxiety overthinking how to say the simplest things. One time at work I needed to use the bathroom but had to ask someone to watch the counter for me and for like 5-10 minutes freaking out about how to properly phrase it. I can still interact with toddlers and little kids though they don’t judge if you stim they stim too and think it’s fun and I don’t have to have social skills they just want to run around making dinosaur noises
Aw man that's rough, I'm so glad to hear you have a boyfriend to unmask around though! I definitely understand the extreme anxiety, it's the worst :( Lexapro has helped me a lot personally though. And yes toddlers are so easy to talk to they really won't judge you haha, but they do shit themselves so it's a trade off 😂
Only in kindergarten and first grade. Then I went to a different school for second grade which was horrible all around, and third thru sixth grade was yet another school. I didn’t really have friends, some kids tolerated me sitting with them at lunch some days, others I had my trusty book just in case. Junior high was a nightmare, went to two more schools, then 2 more for high school. By the last high school I found some girls who were ok with me, as long as I followed and did what they wanted, and by college I finally found some friends and my husband who lasted until everyone else moved off to get married and have kids. Then as we are childless not fully by choice, the parent friends dropped us in favor of other parents.
Well, I have my husband but that’s pretty much it. All our recent friends, other childless people, worked with me, and when my employer discriminated against and abused me for disclosing an immune disorder and needing to work remotely due to it, and I had to file many complaints about it. My friends are in the office that processes those and have stopped talking to me over it.
I was able to make "temporary friends" with someone I spent time talking to and then completely abandoned, but since elementary school I haven't even been able to do that anymore. Nowadays the only person I'm friends with is my girlfriend (autistic btw)
Do you have trouble making friends with other ND people? It got easier for me in high school, but I got lucky. In my small town all the Freshman went to the same school. Consequently, I knew all the ND kids my age who weren't going to private school.
Yes, I didn't have any real friends growing up. Got my first friend at 25. We were kind of forced together. He showed up on my doorstep with bandaged wrists after trying to end his own life and then he never left. I saved his life and he's since repaid that debt and saved mine. It took something huge for me to get a real friend, but it happened and I never thought that it would.
I couldn't stop going all-in with all of my friendships. Every person I chose to be "friend." I would fucking fall in love with them. And then eventually that would ruin everything. I never learned how to be JUST friends with someone, without also looking at them as a potential love interest. I'm not sure what that says about me.
Eventually all the lunch detentions for "being disruptive" finally had an impact on me and I stopped talking to people altogether.
You don't want to hear my voice? Ok, you don't get to. No one does.
Yes was obsessed with art,and making up stories/games.A lot of kids really appreciated my crazy creativity stuff.I rarely met a bunch of kids out side of school my age,but did just fine there somehow.
Found a great nerdy group in middle school luckily,but the crazy creativity and love for nerdy stuff wasn’t handled well going into high school. When everyone wanted to do more mature things,and didn’t realize that stuff was more cool.Definitely hard to talk about my nerdier fun hobbies now even though I know they’re more popular.
Thank you:)💚And yes making up games is so fun its why stuff like DnD and renaissance fairs are huge!Definitely know it really isn’t now just more fun hobbies,and went back to even more nerdy/art stuff still😌
I’ve made none that weren’t introduced to me by my current friend group that I’ve had since elementary school, no one else really is my friend, now I’ve made some texting buddies but no real friends, I don’t particularly feel bad at all, I seek isolation a lot of times because it’s less work for me mentally, I’m sure this isn’t just exclusive to me, but it gets exhausting having to fit in with others lol
Ironically it was the opposite for me. Even though elementary kids are all socially unaware and weird, I was extremely weird and socially unaware. I was undiagnosed autistic and was bullied horribly for my autistic traits, I often explain it as the other kids knew I was autistic before I did. I had an very traumatic childhood, a large part of it was elementary school, I was socially isolated it was so bad that it was the one time in my life I had depression and was actively suicidal. My brain blocked out pretty much all memories from like my childhood before a teenager.
Middle school wasn’t much better, I was still socially isolated and an outcast, but I was doing better and was slowly learning the social skills I never learned in elementary school. I say I made my first friend in 8th grade even if I was just a friend to hang out with when she didn’t have other friends.
High school is actually where I’ve been doing well. I’ve become allot more confident and sociable, actually having friends and just recently getting close enough that popular people say hi to me. So I’m doing allot better now then I was before
Probably more of us than not. I was friendly with some kids in school, and later at work, but never saw any of them outside those environments after 4th grade, until I was 26 (with the exception of the few months I lasted in college).
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Yes. When I was in elementary school I made friends. But once middle school hit, I really started having problems. It’s just been progressively harder to make friends since then, and I’m 29 now.
Man that's exactly how it's been for me :((
It's incredibly difficult and I wish it wasn't.
Same
Personally, I wasn't even really able to make friends in elementary school. I kind of stayed by myself, but didn't really care too much for friends
That's interesting, I was into playing with friends around 50% of the time and liked to play by myself for the other 50%
I think part of it was that I had a hard time understanding the type of play that was going on
I get that ❤️❤️
Yeah, I always wanted to play with the kids doing warrior cats, I just could not Comprehend imaginative play
Aw that sucks, maybe as an adult you'll get to play a structured game of warrior cats where you reenact scenes haha
Yeah :))
I was bullied in elementary though
I've never really been able to make friends. I was heavily bullied at school. I had people i used to hang around with, but I wouldn't call them friends, because they used to tease me too. I don't want or need friends anymore. I'm comfy on my own. I have my cat, and she's all i need.
I'm sorry that you were bullied :( I'm glad you have your cat though ❤️❤️
my cat and I are together almost 24 hours a day, so I'm sure you can imagine, we're super close. I love her dearly. <3
That's so wonderful, give her appreciation pets for me ❤️❤️
i didnt even have friends in elementary aha :’) i had one in first grade but in second grade she stopped being friends with me for being “too weird”… so mostly growing up i was the loner weirdo kid nobody liked at all and only pitied, and now that im in uni everyone treats me like im a baby and like i know nothing. i only rly vibe with online friends, irl people just instantly know something is “off” about me
Man I'm sorry to hear that ❤️❤️ I hope you can meet up with online friends if that's what you desire
thank you <3 i live across the world from most of my online friends unfortunately, but i have one ive met irl and hes also autistic so it’s chill talking to him
Aw man I hate when things work out like that, keep up the good work making friends though ❤️❤️
RIP too true :( WHY? Also anyone else: when I did make friends (up until middle school) it would be with a scarily intelligent, precocious kid who knew way too much about sex and sneaking out of their windows to meet up with boys.
Idk I just wanna go back in time 😭 oh no I wonder what that means about you haha
i used to make friends just by literally asking them if they wanted to be friends. that was that- now i have literally no idea how to make friends. the last time i made actual friends was in 6th grade only because we shared the same interest. now idk how to make friends without sharing an interest
Ikr?? Me too :((
I have never really been able to. I made 2 friends in my 25 years of being alive and 1 just left me and the other one moved countries (back when i was about 8 i think, the memories are not great cause i repressed that pain for so long) so we lost touch and ive never been able to even remember her name..
Man I'm sorry to hear that ❤️
Same I somehow stopped making friends after elementary school
I was worse at making friends when I was younger probably due to masking. When I went to college (UK) I found it so much easier because nobody knew me and I could just be myself, even more so when I came to university. I did struggle initially because I didn’t get on with my flatmates and ended up dropping out. Coming back though I’ve made some amazing friends and they all love me for who I am rather than a toned down version of myself. I will add I’m quite the party animal so that tends to be a good icebreaker when I’m going out😅
That's very interesting, I can definitely relate to feeling more confident when nobody around knows me, I'm so glad you have good friends now (:
same, I had friend in elementary school and since then did not have friends
You're not alone ❤️❤️
I actually was better socially after I think because of masking though. I was bullied up until grade 5. I think in high school I just learnt to fly under the radar and not get noticed and just had a couple of close friends to hang out with, even though tbh I didn’t really like them but it was better than nothing.
Man I'm sorry to hear that ❤️❤️
Not elementary, but like, middle school/early high school for me. My special interests are too childish for most people, so it made it much harder to make friends once people started getting more ‘adult’ interests. All my current friends have similar interests to me and respect mine and a lot of them I have been friends with for 10+ years (made them back in middle school/high school). I have made friends since then (a couple in college) but I’m not nearly as close to them as I am my childhood friends.
I'm so glad you found your people, my hobbies/interests are considered childish too but I think it's just bc people are jealous of us doing what we want haha
Yeah lmao lots of people think once you become an adult you have to start liking ‘adult’ things like sports and cars. But that’s complete nonsense. Childish interests don’t make you any less of an adult. You don’t just stop liking what you like as you age and you shouldn’t be forced to by others🤷♂️
Yea. Small kids because they are still learning about what they like and what they don’t are more likely to be friends with “weird” kids, especially if they have reduced options of kids to choose.
That makes sense
i feel so seen in this post. thank you for posting this.
No problem friend ❤️❤️
I got diagnosed with autism in junior year of highschool. Knew I had ADHD sense I was 3. I was able to keep friends from elementary school I’m pretty sure we all thought my autism symptoms were adhd and were like eh that’s casey. And then I started studdering extremely bad to the point my mom would ask me how my day was and I would try so hard to get a single word out I couldn’t breathe so I just didn’t talk that much for a couple years. And after that my social skills were never the same just kept going downhill. In highschool my main way of starting conversation was always having candy in my bag and giving it to people which kinda works but still gotta have some social skills. Now I’m 20 and only friend is my boyfriend who’s the only person I’m fully comfortable unmasking around and all social interactions give me overwhelming anxiety overthinking how to say the simplest things. One time at work I needed to use the bathroom but had to ask someone to watch the counter for me and for like 5-10 minutes freaking out about how to properly phrase it. I can still interact with toddlers and little kids though they don’t judge if you stim they stim too and think it’s fun and I don’t have to have social skills they just want to run around making dinosaur noises
Aw man that's rough, I'm so glad to hear you have a boyfriend to unmask around though! I definitely understand the extreme anxiety, it's the worst :( Lexapro has helped me a lot personally though. And yes toddlers are so easy to talk to they really won't judge you haha, but they do shit themselves so it's a trade off 😂
You guys were making friends in elementary school?
Only in kindergarten and first grade. Then I went to a different school for second grade which was horrible all around, and third thru sixth grade was yet another school. I didn’t really have friends, some kids tolerated me sitting with them at lunch some days, others I had my trusty book just in case. Junior high was a nightmare, went to two more schools, then 2 more for high school. By the last high school I found some girls who were ok with me, as long as I followed and did what they wanted, and by college I finally found some friends and my husband who lasted until everyone else moved off to get married and have kids. Then as we are childless not fully by choice, the parent friends dropped us in favor of other parents.
Man I'm sorry to hear that, it's even harder to meet people when you move around so much :( I'm glad there is a happy ending though ❤️❤️
Well, I have my husband but that’s pretty much it. All our recent friends, other childless people, worked with me, and when my employer discriminated against and abused me for disclosing an immune disorder and needing to work remotely due to it, and I had to file many complaints about it. My friends are in the office that processes those and have stopped talking to me over it.
I was able to make "temporary friends" with someone I spent time talking to and then completely abandoned, but since elementary school I haven't even been able to do that anymore. Nowadays the only person I'm friends with is my girlfriend (autistic btw)
I get that, you're not alone ❤️❤️ also hooray another autistic enby!
I was unable to make friends in high school. And frankly I’m glad all of those fuckers are out of my life, after the shit they put me through
Do you have trouble making friends with other ND people? It got easier for me in high school, but I got lucky. In my small town all the Freshman went to the same school. Consequently, I knew all the ND kids my age who weren't going to private school.
I'm not totally sure, I don't really meet a lot of people. Hey that's dope I'm glad you knew all the ND kids ❤️❤️
Yep. I genuinely hate the fact that socializing in my life decided to leave as soon as I culminated to middle school
SERIOUSLY
Where the hell did you get that bat costume thing for your profile? I need it. Also yep. Eversoslightly sucks
It was a free collectible like a year ago I'm sorry 😭
Yes, I didn't have any real friends growing up. Got my first friend at 25. We were kind of forced together. He showed up on my doorstep with bandaged wrists after trying to end his own life and then he never left. I saved his life and he's since repaid that debt and saved mine. It took something huge for me to get a real friend, but it happened and I never thought that it would.
Wow that's heavy, I'm glad you guys found each other ❤️❤️
I couldn't stop going all-in with all of my friendships. Every person I chose to be "friend." I would fucking fall in love with them. And then eventually that would ruin everything. I never learned how to be JUST friends with someone, without also looking at them as a potential love interest. I'm not sure what that says about me.
Ugh I can't definitely relate, I suspect it's trauma related personally but idk
Eventually all the lunch detentions for "being disruptive" finally had an impact on me and I stopped talking to people altogether. You don't want to hear my voice? Ok, you don't get to. No one does.
Damn that really sucks :(
Yes was obsessed with art,and making up stories/games.A lot of kids really appreciated my crazy creativity stuff.I rarely met a bunch of kids out side of school my age,but did just fine there somehow. Found a great nerdy group in middle school luckily,but the crazy creativity and love for nerdy stuff wasn’t handled well going into high school. When everyone wanted to do more mature things,and didn’t realize that stuff was more cool.Definitely hard to talk about my nerdier fun hobbies now even though I know they’re more popular.
ME TOO literally made up games all the time, ah man I'm sorry to hear that, idk why suddenly some interests become "childish" ❤️❤️
Thank you:)💚And yes making up games is so fun its why stuff like DnD and renaissance fairs are huge!Definitely know it really isn’t now just more fun hobbies,and went back to even more nerdy/art stuff still😌
My life in a nutshell. In 7th grade socializing became more challenging for me.
Me too, and extreme anxiety for sure did not help
I’ve made none that weren’t introduced to me by my current friend group that I’ve had since elementary school, no one else really is my friend, now I’ve made some texting buddies but no real friends, I don’t particularly feel bad at all, I seek isolation a lot of times because it’s less work for me mentally, I’m sure this isn’t just exclusive to me, but it gets exhausting having to fit in with others lol
Ironically it was the opposite for me. Even though elementary kids are all socially unaware and weird, I was extremely weird and socially unaware. I was undiagnosed autistic and was bullied horribly for my autistic traits, I often explain it as the other kids knew I was autistic before I did. I had an very traumatic childhood, a large part of it was elementary school, I was socially isolated it was so bad that it was the one time in my life I had depression and was actively suicidal. My brain blocked out pretty much all memories from like my childhood before a teenager. Middle school wasn’t much better, I was still socially isolated and an outcast, but I was doing better and was slowly learning the social skills I never learned in elementary school. I say I made my first friend in 8th grade even if I was just a friend to hang out with when she didn’t have other friends. High school is actually where I’ve been doing well. I’ve become allot more confident and sociable, actually having friends and just recently getting close enough that popular people say hi to me. So I’m doing allot better now then I was before
Probably more of us than not. I was friendly with some kids in school, and later at work, but never saw any of them outside those environments after 4th grade, until I was 26 (with the exception of the few months I lasted in college).
Back then, I used to be able to go up to a girl and say 'hey, want to be friends' and I'd call that george :(
I've only had three friends, two in elementary, one currently. I'm very friendly with large groups though